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Don't let the Candle die
By Angelicah Roa
10 years from now, I see myself alive; successfully working in a great company and living in my own home with my precious loved ones that I keep close in my heart. I honestly have simple goals set in life whereas if I'm still alive by then, I will continue on with the plan of building my own cafe. This idea of having a cafe has been a childhood dream of mine because when I was young, I used to drink coffee (not advisable). Since I lived under my grandparents, my grandpa George was so fond of telling me about his little adventures in the America— all while introducing what the western people eat. Coffee was so common among his stories, so I had developed a curiosity as to what coffee tasted and why did most americans like it. In the mornings whenever me, my grandma, and grandpa have breakfast together, I have always observed that my grandpa likes to drink coffee and my grandma likes to drink "Energen" which is a cereal drink. As grandpa's first born granddaughter, both him and my grandma spoiled me alot so asking to taste the coffee from his cup was easy. After that, I have found myself loving coffee (I'm not addicted fr).
As for my life, I honestly do not know what the future have in store for me, but whatever it may be I will gladly take on. Another goal that I have in life is that I just want to be able to travel different countries in solo; with my grandparents; and with a significant other. I want to experience the climates of the countries I'll travel to, go to the famous landmarks each city has, and see various cultures surrounding that country. I do truly love to explore, thus traveling somewhere wakes the adventurer within me. I live for the moment within those adventures and it will always be kept as a precious memory, and to become a story to be told someday.
Overall, those are just my simple goals— To own a cafe and to travel to different countries. Within those simple dreams or goals of mine, I know that I definitely will store an experience along the way that I'll love while in the process of achieving those goals of mine. I want to be able to fulfill these worldly goals before I die because the curiosity and the willingness for these goals to be accomplished is strong. Though, that still depends to the will of the Lord if He will let me do such things. But as of now, that sums up some of my dreams and goals in the near future. Here's to my hope for a future where I'd live and fulfill such dreams I planned in my life.
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Fears
By: Angelicah Roa
Fear is normal, it is an emotion that keeps us human.
We as humans, are driven by a lot of different factors— and emotions are one of those.
Fear has kept me up at night. Fear has made me think about countless scenarios and possibilities of what i fear of, get me.
I have instilled a lot of fears within. I've spent too much time on the internet in the past and had explored different surfaces of the internet.
Purple guy, was one of the example of my fear when I was around in the age of ten. The Five Nights at Freddy's (FNaF) is a game and was released in 2014 to be played by millions.
By the time it was released, Markiplier, a favourite youtuber of mine had a series of gameplays about it. The game FNaF was about a night guard (which is played by the player), being sent to an abandoned pizzeria for a nightshift and observing all the scenarios throughout the whole night until 6am, without knowing about the unnatural and horrible things that was about to go down.
Purple guy wasn't introduced until the second game of FNaF was released, whereas the game featured minigames in order to tell a better story within the main plot.
Along the series of this game, he is the main antagonist and serial killer who is directly responsible for the murder of the young children. He had tricked several young children; murdered them; and stuffed the corpses in his personal built animatronic suits(As per the minigames of the game has shown). Though after getting away with the crimes he had committed, he still had his miserable end and died in this very animatronic suit where he had tricked several of his victims:
I was actually impressed by how Scott Cawthon, the creator of this game, had me on edge every night just by imagining purple guy popping out from any corner of my room. I was a kid with a very imaginative mind and I was exposed to the internet without any restrictions, so the tailored story about purple guy alone was very scary for me.
I've also come to realize that maybe I am not an avid fan of real life horror stories, since it scares me and really makes me wary of my surroundings. I take this game as another display of my fear, Fears to Fathom: Norwood Hitchhike. This is another series of games under Fears To Fathom, where the game developers have made each games from the stories submitted by anonymous users. Norwood Hitchhike was about creepy motels, cults, and a stalker which I wouldn't go into detail because this game just gives me the horrifying chills whenever I think about it.
Another favourite youtuber of mine, Jacksepticeye, played two games of FtF and this was the last video I've watched of it since there was no latest release of another game yet.
Throughout the game, it made me uncomfortable because I thought at every corner the player creeps on would have jumpscares. Little did I know that the whole setting and scenarios of the gameplay itself was far more scarier than the anticipation for jumpscares.
The plot in this game episode was about a woman who was an interstate driver and drove along a path where unusual and goosebumping events went down. Unknowingly, if you aren't attentive enough to details, a creepy man will be stalking the player when the character went to a nearby gasoline. Thus, leading to eerie events.
Games like these, applying the most real life acts and situations, does activate a fear in me. For instance, being a night guard at Freddy's Pizzeria from the game FNaF and surviving the whole night without dying by looking out for your power consumption due to possessed animatronics. The Fears to Fathom (FtF) using the most realistic storyline and then incorporating it with such creepiness, fills my head with a lot of nerve-wracking scenarios in real life.
Whenever I think about these scenarios in games and try to reflect it in real life, of course it never fails to kick in the fear bar alive in me. Despite gaining a fear from events like these, I cope through the conditioning of my mind. Conditioning my mind beforehand whereas I encourage myself to think about thoughts that will definitely help me go through along to the end of the day where I am still alive. Having these kind of fears sure are unavoidable, but having a healthy way of coping from it will surely help you stay sane.
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"Late Bloomer"
By Angelicah Roa
If I were to sum up my achievement so far in this world, the highest achievement that I had attained in my life would be the award from excelling academically. From being effortless in my studies to setting a proper goal and reaping the fruits of it. I myself never had expected to be listed with my fellow honor students, but I remember praying to the Lord to at least pass me in every grading because most of the colleges that I wanted to apply at require good grades. With that being set, I have decided to exert effort in all of my outputs. Though, there really are times that I can't avoid half-baking it.
Back in the days of my childhood, I had a behaviour of "play first, and play later." whereas my grandparents would be the ones to sit me down because I have an uncontrollable energy in playing with nonesense. My parents left me under the care of my grandparents, so they weren't around that much for 13 years of my life. They do visit me once every few weeks, but my father was abroad so the my interaction and bonding with him was not that much. Instead of studying for something, I spent all of my energy playing with friends. I explored more of my surroundings rather than my textbooks and quite frankly, I enjoyed it.
Exploring the outdoors were surely the most fun way I spent all my time back then. Though the fun was temporal as I also had frequent accidents while having fun, for example in this picture:
(photo taken around July, 2011)
I surely did have my fun that day, falling from an incorrect landing form— becoming Evan Hansen for a whole month. I guess I can say that I also achieved a skill like writing on my left hand—and a thing for exploration even after the following accidents I still acquired after that, I didn't stop exploring. I have learned my lesson in a painful way and I still do love to explore but, now I chose to do it in the most safest way.
I'm growing as an individual, and is still in the state of exploration and learning. I am aware that along the way I will be making decisions, but I will definitely remind myself to not choose those that will result in consequences in the end of the day.
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"Another Memorabilia"
by: Angelicah Roa
Retreat (2023)
As the tiring first semester was done — and a half of the second semester is slowly coming to an end, the Grade 12-Galilee students of the Maranatha Christian College held a retreat at the Guintubdan Pavillion, located in La Carlota City. The purpose of the retreat was to rejuvenate and refresh everyone's soul, taking a short break away from anything that ruins it for days.
Quick funny tangent— from that span of three days of joining the retreat, I participated in all of the activities without fail even if four days before the trip I injured my toe. I may have been too excited that I fell and accidentally wounded my toe, bringing it along the whole trip.
Merzci Factory (2023)
Back to talking about the retreat experience. I am not a big fan of riding buses as a mode of transport but I had to tolerate it since I can't let anything ruin the fun and memorable trip I will have. We traveled from Bacolod City to La Carlota City and along the way of our ride, we made a quick stop at The Merzci Factory. It was fascinating to see where all the og "pasalubong" snacks of bacolod were being made and packed to be consumed by everyone that buys it. While observing how the snacks were made, I got hungry— after the tour I went and bought my usual favorites in Merzci; Piaya, Biscotcho, and Butterscotch. I've learned that the ones in the "pasalubong" boxes are handled differently. The snacks on those travel boxes are drier to extend its expiration due in order to keep the freshness while being sent or brought to another country, than the snacks that are regularly sold in the shops on land.
La Carlota City (2023)
After the Merzci factory, we travelled another hour to La Carlota City. Our class adviser decided to stop by the main park of the city for everyone to have their lunch and relax for a bit after that long ride. The class split up and others went to fastfood chains; we went to a carenderia; then there are those who ate at an eat all you can resto. For a short amount of time in eating, we spent the rest of it waiting and strolling a bit around the park. I enjoyed the park even if it was hot around noon, me and my friends were doing silly stuff and that made it fun.
Guintubdan Pavilion (2023)
After the lengthy bus ride, we finally arrived to Guintubdan — A beautiful place that accomodates people and preserves the breathtaking forest and nature. And by breathtaking, I really literally mean going down on a three hundred and more cobble stone steps to reach the glorious scene of a nature made falls. Despite the long steps up and down, it was worth it just to witness and relax with the clear streams of water flowing from the small and natural fall. Our adviser gave us an hour to explore the place and I really appreciated every second of it.
My experience from the activities to sleeping was very enjoyable and memorable. We had our class divided into three groups; red team; yellow team; and blue team. I really enjoyed the moments I had with my team, even if it was just for a day that we all got to compete with the other teams. I also had fun sleeping in one room with my team, the red team, because we talked about a lot of things before sleeping. Scary stories were the highlight of our "chika" and made up scenarios about the monsters crawling out of our room mirror or standing at the corner, just for us to scare each other. There were those who really left their bed and found themselves another pair to sleep with because they got scared off by a silly story.
Lastly, the sessions. The preachings were the purpose of our retreat. We came to the retreat in order to refresh, feed, and remind ourselves again as christian students. Although not all of us are christians, but the purpose of our class trip is to be spiritually fed again by the word of God. Out of the activities that were done, the preaching of God's word was the center of it all.
I am glad that I got to join the retreat with my fellow classmates and friends. I am also glad that I got to feel the serenity and see the beauty within that pavillion. Overall, I thank the Lord for His guidance that we safely got to Guintubdan and back home, safe and sound. For His provision that everyone got to join the retreat, and for the people that He used as an instrument for the retreat to be organized.
To God be all the glory!
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"Reminiscence"
by Angelicah Roa
This photo was taken all the way back in 2005, months after i was born.
Do you remember...
That time when you had your first walk? your first undistinguished melody of playing in the piano?
Your first time at getting lost within the town but fortunately came back home alive? Well, everything might've been blurry but some significant bits were still clear and brings me a great laugh whenever i think about it.
Pulupandan, my hometown, is a memory i feel nostalgic for. A small, simple town filled with my memories from childhood. I grew up to love the streets of that town with my heart since I found the joy of exploration beginning from that town. It gives me this feeling of wanting, to go back in that town and live my life there again. The memories I've made there were both pleasant and unpleasant, but overall it's memorable.
This photo was taken at the beach of Pulupandan, around 2014.
Furhtermore, I've noticed that after my family moved to the city, my heart still longed for that town. The people, the food, and the moments I've spent there is relived everytime I stay for a vacation. Even if I travel in this city, nothing can beat the way I think about that wonderful town everyday. It's like that town is full of serenity, and herein this city or the rest of the world is where I only travel to.
Overall, I miss wasting my time in that town. The meaningless little things turn into wonderful memories and moments where I can definitely look back on. The town of Pulupandan became my safe place to unwind at, even if it changed. A distraction I will always put my attention to. An only escape, away from the thoughts I have in the city. Pulupandan, my beloved Pulupandan, I will come back again to spend my break of '23 with you, see you.
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