evancitron

[evancitron]

carmenalvz​:

The discomfort was plain to see on Evan’s face as soon as he looked up at her. Reading other people wasn’t a strong suit of Carmen’s but even she could read the emotion clearly. She couldn’t blame him for his reaction - really it was surprising it had taken so long for Evan to come around and realise her treatment of him had been less than kind. Usually people came to their sense much quicker. But he had always been too trusting towards her, far too much for his own good. Again, that’s what had made it work so well.

But now there was none of that trust. And again, she didn’t blame him. Someone as smart as him should have worked out that she was not someone to be trusted. Especially not with something as delicate as emotions.

“I know,” she answered quickly, aware of her own words being thrown back at her. It stung a little but not enough for her to back off. There was little thought in her mind that she might be hurting him by standing there. Only the desire not to walk away; that would mean admitting she had a reason to do so, something that put her firmly in the wrong. Carmen Alvarez didn’t consider herself a person who was often, if ever, wrong.

“I’m just being polite, I’m allowed to do that,” she said defensively, but she glanced at the wounded expression on his face and softened a little, “We don’t have to…it’s just been a while, that’s all.”

It was a lame answer, a subconscious excuse to keep the conversation going. In an odd and unexpected way she had missed him - not that she consciously acknowledged that thought. He was just much nicer than most of the company she kept. And a far better person that she was - it was only natural she liked his influence.

the burning anger that evan had felt for carmen in late spring had subsided to a manageable, almost forgettable irritation and dull pain that he could set aside and pretend not to feel as long as he didn’t see her. he was lucky, in that way, because he rarely saw her. if anything, he caught a glimpse of her across the quad or breezed past her, invisible as ever, on ogden’s busy sidewalks in between classes. aside from those few instances, when he was forced to remember how she cast him aside, he had done his damnedest to forget her and, for the most part, had succeeded. 

it was cruel of her to come up to him and she knew it. although her words, her tone, and the look on her face pretended to be sympathetic to him, evan couldn’t help but think what story she’d spin about why they were talking if anyone saw them there. she was good at pretending to care about him when they were face-to-face, but even after everything, even when nothing existed between them anymore, evan knew her sympathy or guilt didn’t extend into her public persona. 

“polite?” evan repeated back sardonically, hoping his tone would drive home the irony of what she’d said. “personally, i don’t think it’s been long enough.” he attempted to have the words come out hateful and angry, conveying just how little he wanted to see her, but worried that he had betrayed himself by instead revealing just how open the wound still was. 

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montyrichler​:

Monty had felt like he was spinning his tires as of late. There was nothing he could do to calm the constant, irritating buzz of thoughts that plagued the back of his mind. Getting a decent amount of sleep had become nearly impossible and, on the flipside, he still wasn’t managing to get anything done, either. While he felt the desperate urge to be proactive, he’d become crippled by indecision. His days were full of extra, empty hours where he did little more than stare into space or jump from project to project, endlessly starting cycles of creative abandonment. Even at such an early hour, it wasn’t all that unusual that he found himself down at the beach, but apparently it was odd to someone else.

A foot slipped against the rocks as he came to an abrupt halt, gaze dragging to the brunet. “What are any of us doing here?” His eyes were comically wide, looking a lot like a speculative owl as he gave a slow blink. “All of us, just floating on this big blue marble called Earth… trusting the powers that be to keep us glued to the surface… makes you think.” Okay, yeah, maybe the joint tucked behind his ear was already a little singed at the end. Monty resumed his careful steps forward, not feeling completely steady until the terrain gave way to rough sand. He hummed a little and shrugged, answering more seriously, “I’m looking for a new hobby.” He had a handful of rocks collected in his palm, pinching a smooth stone and showing it off to the other. “I figured I could give skipping rocks a try.” If he was lucky, it’d be just as mindless as he needed it to be.

evan didn’t know whether to feel relieved or disappointed to look up and see monty standing on the beach beside him, a loose acquaintance that he wasn’t sure he’d had a complete conversation with. on the one hand, at least he knew that monty was unlikely to give him any shit for sitting by himself in the early hours of a saturday morning. on the other, he had never decided exactly how to feel about him. he was nice enough to evan, which was normally enough for him to be entirely in favor of a person, but he was also a pain-in-the-ass-by-proxy when evan would have to deal with greer’s misguided attempts to improve her academic potential with the drugs that monty supplied. it wasn’t that evan was a total loser—he was fine with drinking, fine with pot—but he didn’t understand why monty ventured into anything harder, or why greer had fallen into it. then again, evan was catering to the rich kids of ogden too, only in a different, and not necessarily better, way. they both had their niches; monty just had the misfortune of having one that was more taboo. “awfully philosophical for so early in the morning,” evan noted, looking up to glance at monty’s fistful of rocks. “most people would start doing the crossword or something.” he smiled a little, making it clear his remarks were well intentioned. “but i, for one, appreciate the outside-the-box approach.”

[evancitron]

[blackout] when: saturday 10/1 where: alcott dorm who: @court-mills

studying would have been a good excuse for why it was prime time on a saturday and yet evan was staring at the dull beige walls of his single, but he couldn't truthfully say that was what he was doing. instead, he was mostly trying to fill his time with whatever he could figure to do, in hopes that some silly task would consume him instead of the nervous energy that currently was. it wasn't that he was nervous about any one thing in particular, but that everything felt similarly confusing. he almost couldn't be surprised when the lights went off and he was left in total darkness—really, it was right on cue. he thought about just going to sleep and waking up the next day like nothing had happened, but he opted to peek his head out into the hallway. when he was met with nothing but silence, he ventured one door down the hallway to look for one of the only people he'd consider an ally if ogden was to go purge level scary. "court?" he called through the door after knocking twice, listening intently for any response from the other boy. he didn't really expect them to be hanging out on the other side of the door, but he figured it was worth checking.

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ollieinoue​:

If there was one thing Ollie did not enjoy it was physical activity, however that did not mean he did not do it. At least two mornings of the week- three sometimes if he felt particularly like he hated himself- he would indeed partake in the workout culture. Really early before most people were up, because running made him want to die, and talking to someone while he was running made him want to die even more. Sometimes he went to the gym on campus, this particular morning he decided to go for a run outside because it was nice, and running on the beach was good for your knees. He’d spotted Evan in the distance the first time around, but didn’t approach him until he came back around a second time. Deciding he was done hating himself for the day, he stopped the running and trudged along the sand up towards the other man who seemed startled to see him.

“What are you doing here?” Ollie repeated, with a mildly amused smirk crossing his face. He fell down into the sand next to Evan, laying on his back and folding his arms behind his head. “I was out for a run, the grind never stops dude.” His eyes flicked towards the notebook the other was holding, before he tilted his head away again, arching his chin up. “Oh you use still moleskines? I started to find the paper quality to be actual shit, haven’t you? They’ve started banking too hard off being a status symbol, and have gone downhill in the past few years.” It was literally the most pretentious thing he could decide to complain about, but considering who he was speaking with was one of the most pretentious people he knew? … He didn’t think Evan would mind. 

evan probably enjoyed his solitude more than the average person, but perhaps that was because it was normal for him. he busied himself with schoolwork, research, reading, and the fact that that left limited time for a social life was not on accident. he was intentional with who he’d willingly bring into his orbit—not that anyone was exactly beating down his door.

he was startled to see ollie, but not upset despite what his tone may have implied. as soon as he realized who had interrupted his quiet time, he softened a bit, shutting the admittedly worn down journal and holding it in his hands. “they do sell them on amazon now, so i guess i can’t expect much from the quality,” evan smirked a little, turning it over his hands a few times. “these things are pretty much disposable, anyway.” with that, he tossed the journal into his lap as if it didn’t contain every waking thought and feeling he had. he glanced over at ollie, who looked so comfortable next to evan sitting awkwardly in the sand. “i didn’t know you were a runner,” he commented, giving ollie’s out-of-character athletic getup an acknowledging nod.

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derya-sahin​:

Her eyes always wandered back to the cops. She couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact, that they’d returned, without a warning. Maybe the groupchat had mentioned them, warned the whole school, but Derya couldn’t be bothered to read through the thousands of messages in there, so she remained oblivious, like always. Focusing on Evan, Derya smiled slightly, quickly checking out his book and the cover. A classic, for sure. “Yeah, I’m almost done.  winter of our discontent is such a great book as well. Ethan’s a pretty gray character, I usually like those a lot, but I do prefer east of eden.” Looking at the way he briefly bookmarked his own book, Derya sighed in relief. So he wasn’t one of those people who completely massacred their books. “I’m Derya, hey. And here I thought I’m the only one who reads here in Ogden.”

it wasn’t just the cops coming back around that had everyone on edge, but that certainly didn’t help ease the tension and worry that already lingered heavy in the air. often, at ogden and in life, evan had the distinct privilege of sitting back and watching all manner of seemingly-benign interactions between people, and he’d noticed a shift on campus since greer’s... well, whatever had happened to greer. it wasn’t something he was ready or able to really think about.

it used to be that he’d witness the odd argument—a couple yelling outside of one of the dorms, friends snapping at each other, students arguing wildly with professors over grades—but the interactions now felt charged in a different way. maybe he couldn’t put his finger on exactly what it was, or maybe he didn’t want to admit to himself that everyone, including himself, felt like each passing day increased the likelihood that they’d wake up and find that the thing they’d all been dreading was real and not just a plot greer had stirred up to get them squirming.

this felt like a nice break from all of it, for myriad reasons. it wasn’t often evan was noticed by someone he didn’t know, sitting on a bench he was used to sitting on and blending into the wallpaper. it also wasn’t often that, even when someone noticed him, they were able to so quickly touch on something that was exciting to him. in truth, he hadn’t read the death of the heart, but he had heard on good authority that it was good. maybe this was his sign to read it after all. “well, to be fair, i think everyone prefers east of eden.” he smiled, pressing his own book into his lap as he shuffled and reach his hand out toward her. “evan. nice to meet you. i sometimes feel that way, but... can everyone here really have bought their way in?” he looked around as if to survey the people around them, thoughtful look on his face, before turning back to her.

[evancitron]

more and more recently, evan found himself spending the still-cool mornings down at the beach. he’d watch the movement of the water and the birds and bugs flying around, content to let himself get lost in the ease and unambiguity of nature. he normally kept his headphones in at all times, soundtracking his life to music that was made before he was alive so that he never had to truly interface with his own reality, but it was nice to sit with the ambient noise on these mornings. 

he wasn’t usually alone the whole time he sat there, but most people who stopped by the beach merely offered evan a nod of acknowledgement and went on with their lives. there was a sort of symbiosis that didn’t exist at campus, even if it was only a few hundred feet away.

he was just about to sit down with a worn library copy of euripides’ bacchae that he was reading for class when he heard an all-too-familiar voice and turned his head slowly to look over at carmen alvarez. his stomach twisted uncomfortably seeing her, but he tried not to give her the satisfaction of showing it on his face. “hey. yeah,” evan started, knowing that offering a “how are you?” should have followed but feeling it disingenuous given the last time they’d spoken. “you’re not obligated to acknowledge me, you know.” it wasn’t even a question, but a statement that she’d made to him more than a few times, and it felt silly to feign politeness when she’d made it clear how she wanted to behave.

where: the beach

when: 9 o’clock, saturday morning

who: @evancitron​

Carmen was never really quite sure why they called it a beach. As far as she was concerned if there was no ocean then it wasn’t a beach. Saturday mornings was also just about the only time it was empty - unless some poor freshman had decided to make a bed on the sand after a heavy night. But there were no happy campers that morning. Just the river lapping inches from Carmen’s running shoes.

She turned, ready to run the 5km loop back to Linden Dorm but saw that she was no longer the only person on the beach. Evan Citron had wandered into the clearing and it was the first time she’d seen him in months. She hadn’t been trying to avoid him, but she certainly hadn’t been seeking him out. Especially not since everything had ended so…catastrophically.

It was strange, looking at him after so long. And it was like time allowed her to see him differently, the way everyone else must do when he shuffled on by, a figure so quiet most did not notice him. That was what had made him so perfect.

Still, he wasn’t so invisible that she could just ignore him now.

“Hey,” she said, approaching as though he was a spooked horse, “Long time no see.”

[evancitron]

where: the beach when: thursday 9/29 who: open to anyone and everyone!!

evan wasn't a morning person, unless you counted all the nights he'd spent awake, eyes glued to a screen or a book, until the first light of the morning started peeking through his bedroom window. it was the chaos and confusion of the past few days, hell, of the past few months, that had him tossing and turning this night. eventually, he decided to cut his losses and wake up completely. his mom always told him that he'd been a restless baby, one who'd have to be driven endlessly down their suburban tree-lined streets until he finally fell asleep. he felt like her now, like a frustrated parent scolding an unruly child. he knew he had to do something to work out the restless energy, but he didn't know what one did at 6am. after a few seconds of mulling it over, he let his feet lead him, thoughtlessly, toward the beach and away from the few early rising punishers that littered the campus walkways. evan sat onto the gritty sand, knowing the shorts he'd haphazardly thrown on would be ruined by the time he got back up, and pulled out his well-worn moleskine journal. maybe he'd write something down, put his fearful thoughts onto paper and hope to be rid of them. pulling his pen from his shirt pocket, he heard the sound of feet on the rocks a few yards away that divided the beach and the campus beyond. turning toward it, evan was startled to see another person there. "what are you doing here?" evan asked, his tone sharper than he'd intended for it to be.

[evancitron]

for the low low price of reading a single poem you too can feel entirely alienated from everyone within your physical reach & yet completely connected to the unchangable truth of shared human experience

[evancitron]

evan wished he were oblivious enough to turn a blind eye to how threatening the campus had started to feel, but he was acutely aware of just how many police officers were roaming around. moreover, he noticed them becoming increasingly watchful, clearly waiting for the day they'd notice something off—and evan didn't want to be that something, so he tried harder than ever just to blend into the wallpaper and pretend everything was normal and fine.

he turned to the girl next to him as she spoke, shrugging his shoulders as if to indicate that he couldn't care less about the witch-hunt going on. "oh, i don't really think so..." he closed his own book, john steinbeck's the winter of our discontent, keeping his pointer finger in as a makeshift bookmark. "good book." he nodded his head toward the book in her hands, glad he could find something he was comfortable talking about that might also change the subject.

open to everyone ! location: the quad

A sunny day welcomed her to yet another day at college. Classes wouldn’t start until a few minutes later and yet Ogden seemed far more busy than usual. Derya sat on one of the few benches, her eyes glued to The Death of the Heart by Elizabeth Bowen, a book worth a read, or two. Alas, her peace got interrupted by footsteps just behind her. Looking up, she eventually spotted the police roaming around campus, to which she slightly leaned her head. “They seem to be in a hurry today, do you think they’re onto something?”

[evancitron]

evan typically took up residence in the far-back corner of the english building—one of the more dilapidated buildings on ogden's campus, a sixties-era brick structure where he knew that he'd be left alone most days—but even there had started to feel suffocating. to try and avoid the fog of discomfort and fear that lingered over the campus, evan sought refuge in a nearby cafe that was far enough that he figured he could sit in the dimmest corner and remain unbothered by anyone.

frankly, he didn't know there was any sort of rush hour at a coffee shop in a college town, so he stood dumbfounded outside for a few moments as he tried to glance in through the glass to see if there was anywhere for him to go. the glare of the sun made it difficult, so he took a deep breath and went inside, shuffling through the people waiting for their iced lattes to the way-back of the cafe. he stood awkwardly, turning one way and then another to try and figure out if there was anywhere for him to sit, when he heard a voice. "go for it." he heard a voice say, and he turned to watch her push the chair out with her foot. he wasn't planning on socializing, but she didn't seem interested in that, so he sat down wordlessly. after a moment, he realized he should probably say something. "uh, thanks." he nodded over at her, speaking louder than usual over the hum of activity around them. "nice of you."

where: a cafe near campus when: tuesday 9/19, around 2pm

thin black sunglasses shielded lily’s eyes from the sun, which shone in bright rays through the cafe window. she’d been perched at a small table in the back corner for about an hour, gaze trained on her laptop—circumstances she’d clearly planned for, if one observed closely enough. that was to say, if they took even ten seconds to clock her comfortable outfit, large water tumbler, and the near-empty iced coffee that’d been set off to her right. and, say, if one were to notice the way the small shop had begun to flood with a midday lunch crowd, they may even consider her smart for having posted up a bit earlier.

though, honestly, she’d hardly noticed the swell in the crowd, herself. it wasn’t until a shadow hovered over her table for five seconds… ten… fifteen… that she briefly pulled her line of sight from her computer screen, becoming fully aware of just how packed it’d gotten—of the person beside her who, apparently, was struggling to find a seat, due to the fact. without so much as looking up from her laptop again, lily extended a leg, foot gently nudging the chair across from her out a few inches. “go for it,” she offered, without so much as glancing in their direction.

[evancitron]

[TIMOTHEE CHALAMET, 22, CIS MALE, HE/HIM] Is that EVAN CITRON? A SENIOR originally from MANCHESTER, VERMONT, he decided to come to Ogden College to study COMPUTER SCIENCE AND COMPARATIVE LITERATURE on an ACADEMIC SCHOLARSHIP. He's THE NERD on campus, but even he could get blamed for Greer’s disappearance. 

pinterest · background · wanted connections

BASIC STATS:

BIRTHDAY: march 17, 2000

HOMETOWN: manchester, vermont

NATIONALITY / ETHNICITY: american/ashkenazi jewish + white

MAJOR(S): computer science, comparative literature

EXTRACURRICULARS: Senior Class Board Member, Quiz Bowl, Book Club

SEXUALITY: heterosexual

some background info here [will be adding periodically!]

PHYSICAL INFORMATION:

FACE CLAIM: timothee chalamet

HEIGHT: 6'0"

EYE COLOR: hazel

STYLE: comfort over style, always, with basics preferred - plain t-shirts and jeans, sweaters, button downs. although it's a pretty classic style, it's never quite as kempt as he might like it to be, thanks to lack of sleep and busy schedule.

PERSONALITY:

ZODIAC: pisces sun, virgo moon, virgo rising, pisces venus

MBTI TYPE: INFJ

MORAL ALIGNMENT: lawful neutral

HOGWARTS HOUSE: ravenclaw

POSITIVE TRAITS: creative, intelligent, passionate, diligent, meticulous planner,

NEGATIVE TRAITS: neurotic, secretive, inflexible, self-critical, fanciful, perfectionist, sensitive, people pleaser

FEARS: insignificance, burning out, being judged for being himself

HABITS: looking at the clock at 4am to realize he's been up all night researching something, scribbling/doodling, nail biting, mimicking other people's body language, asking "does that make sense?", being passive aggressive

[aesthetics] noise cancelling headphones, sour patch kids, mismatched socks, the smell of libraries, nervous laughs, a pen running out of ink, dew drops, crossed arms, potluck dinners, flowers dried between book pages, boxes full of mementos from mundane moments, train tickets and receipt paper, quiet family dinners, bent glasses frames, shaky hands