everythingboutbooks

[everythingboutbooks]

Call Me By Your Name - André Aciman

the reason why elio and oliver call each other by their own names:

the whole "call me by your name and i'll call you by mine" thing is something that i don't really see people discuss a lot online, which is pretty unfortunate because it holds great meaning.

i thought about this a lot, but wasn't really able to find an answer myself. while researching i came upon an explanation by alissa wilkinson published in an article in the vox (source: https://www.vox.com/platform/amp/2017/11/21/16552862/call-me-by-your-name-review-timothee-chalamet-armie-hammer).

before going into that we have to recall the importance of "old arts" for the story.

arts from ancient greece and rome, as well as old literature and music are frequent in the story. oliver is an archeologist, elio reads old books and transcribes music from composers like bach and listz. the tale of the knight and the princess with the iconic line "is it better to speak or to die?" is also fairly old.

calling each other by their own names is yet another reference to old art, this time specifically to greek mythology, as wilkinson explains.

she refers back to the myth of how zeus created people. here's a quick summary of that myth:

in the beginning zeus created people with four arms and four legs, as well as two faces. he feared that the humans might be too powerful, so he used lightning to split them all in half (hence why we only have two arms and legs and one face now). those 'half-people' were damned to search for their other missing half all their lives. without them, they felt lost, empty, hopeless. once they'd find each other, they'd feel whole again and would be able to live in love with each other forever.

in a way, this is the ancient greek concept of soulmates.

now, apply this concept to elio and oliver:

when elio meets oliver, he ultimately finds his other half. not just metaphorically, but literally. taking the greek myth into consideration, oliver would literally be the other half of elio that was split off him by zeus (and of course the other way around as well). when they come together again they become whole. in a way, elio becomes part of oliver and oliver becomes part of elio. they are themselves individually, but they are also each other.

in the book it is frequently more prominent how much elio wishes to become part of oliver, becoming one, even. it's not necessarily meant in relation to sex. so rather than becoming one through the closeness of sexual intimacy, elio primarily wishes to become one person with oliver. in relation to the myth, this describes elio's thrive to come together with his other half again.

in conclusion, aciman literally wrote elio and oliver to be soulmates, which may explain why aciman still, despite all the heartbreak and damage, chooses to give them a happy ending in the sequel novel Find Me.

i honestly find this reference extremely fascinating. being able to create reference like that gives the novel so much depth and meaning, and it also a highly valuable skill to be able to connect different devices this way. once again aciman proves how much of an incredibly writer he really is.

[everythingboutbooks]

call me by your name analysis and thoughts — masterpost

here's a masterpost for everyone who wants to get into my call me by your name analysis the organized way :)

book only analysis:

— the significance of "you'll kill me if you stop" : https://www.tumblr.com/everythingboutbooks/725260100395319296/the-significance-of-youll-kill-me-if-you-stop

movie only analysis:

— commentary on elio's sweater : https://www.tumblr.com/everythingboutbooks/725665601768620032/commentary-on-elios-oversized-sweater

book + movie analysis:

— aftermath of the peach-incident (book vs movie) : https://www.tumblr.com/everythingboutbooks/725673341405511680/the-aftermath-of-the-peach-incident-book-vs

— the reason why elio and oliver call each other by their own names : https://www.tumblr.com/everythingboutbooks/725757839774236672/the-reason-why-elio-and-oliver-call-each-other-by

anything else/quick thoughts:

//

enjoy!!

[everythingboutbooks]

Call Me By Your Name - André Aciman

the aftermath of the peach-incident (book vs movie):

i want to discuss what happens after the peach-incident, comparing the book and the movie here. the differences may seem subtle but i think they have great impact on how readers/viewers perceive both elio and oliver in that scene.

in the book:

elio hesitates to let oliver eat the peach, simply because he thinks it's really gross. he asks him not to do it (g.e: "please don't." and "look, you don't have to do this." ) fearing that oliver may feel like he must eat it.

when oliver takes it, elio tries to take it away from him. he doesn't succeed and ends up letting oliver eat the peach. again, elio tells him that he doesn't have to do this.

it seems like rather not wanting oliver to eat it he wants to make sure he doesn't feel forced to eat it.

this scene is followed by elio kind of getting a mental breakdown (aka he starts crying). i want to highlight and recall his reasons for crying again, because these are very important when it comes to the comparison with the movie scene:

"i was crying because no stranger had ever been so kind or gone so far for me (...). I was crying because i'd never known so much gratitude and there was no other way to show it."

it's pretty self-explanatory; elio feels beyond touched by the fact that oliver eats the peach. especially because he, himself finds it really gross, he thinks of it as something very nice. as he says himself, no one has ever done something so kind for him ever before, which makes him feel really grateful, hence the emotional reaction.

now let's take a look at what happens in the movie:

in the movie:

first off all, what i noticed is that there's less dialogue. elio mentioning that oliver doesn't have to do this doesn't happen. he only asks him to not do it and when oliver proceeds anyway, elio tries to take the peach from him.

again, he doesn't succeed, but this time there is no time between elio letting go and starting to cry. oliver doesn't even have time to actually eat the peach, because as soon as elio lets go he's already crying, and it's not very little (kudos to timotées excellent acting here).

we don't actually know elio's reasons for crying here, but what we know is that he doesn't cry because he thinks of oliver eating the peach as a kind thing. oliver doesn't get to eat the peach; therefore this cannot be the reasoning.

personally i think that elio's reasons for crying are probably more related to the big picture than just the peach. he's overwhelmed, doesn't really know what's going on, feels lost, confused, sad, whatsoever.

the following dialogue proves exactly that. in total despair elio tells oliver that he doesn't want him to go. important is, that this does not take place in the book in that scene.

elio is already thinking of the unavoidable moment where oliver is going to leave him, and he seems to have already forgotten about the peach. instead he feels totally miserable because he knows that there's no way oliver is going to stay with him.

i adore this scene and its' changes in the movie a lot because it makes elio so realistic. we feel with him and we exactly know how overwhelming everything must feel in that moment.

another nice detail about this scene is oliver's reaction to seeing elio cry. he immediately puts the peach away, very obviously alarmed by elio's reaction. he hugs him, holds him, takes his face into his hands and repeatedly whispers "it's okay" to him. he doesn't let go of him until he has calmed down.

again, nothing of this happens in the book. though it is described that elio sobs into oliver's shoulder, we don't see oliver doing anything about it. rather than comforting elio, he tells him fairly carelessly that elio knows what he's getting himself into with sexually engaging with oliver (exact quote: "whatever happens between us, elio, i just want you to know. don't ever say you didn't know." )

i find this to be a pretty inappropriate thing to say to a teenager who's currently crying in front of you, because of your actions. but then again, in the book, elio isn't crying because he feels bad about it. it seems as if oliver somehow knows about it, though it feels impossible for him to actually know.

conclusion:

overall i really like what they changed about this scene in the movie. generally i'm more of a fan of trying to make the movie as accurate to the book as possible. the changes here are a pretty good decision though, in my opinion, because they simply work better for the situation than the original does (again, just my opinion). while the original has something about it that really makes you question the characters and their actions, the movie version shows something that seems more realistic for a teenager in this situation.

[everythingboutbooks]

Call Me By Your Name - André Aciman

commentary on elio's oversized sweater:

i was looking at some photos of the movie on pinterest when i noticed the sweater elio wears again. i remember noticing it while watching as well. i was surprised because never before in the movie we see elio in a piece of clothing that is this much too big for him.

this might simply be one of oliver's sweaters, which would explain the size and make a lot of sense context wise.

additionally to that, i think that this also kind of says something about elio. the sweatshirt seems to hide him and his body, he almost looks lost in it. taking into account just how bad and regretful elio felt after sleeping with oliver (especially in the book!) i think that the sweater ultimately mirrors how he feels in that moment.

he wants to disappear, be invisible, hide his body (from oliver?). the sweatshirt kind of does exactly that. i also think that it makes him look very young, almost childlike, which highlights how vulnerable he really is.

the situation is too big for him, just like the sweater is too big for him, but unfortunately elio finds himself in a position where he doesn't see a way of turning back, which then makes him continue.

[everythingboutbooks]

Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman

the significance of "you'll kill me if you stop":

i want to talk about one quote and it's role in the entire relationship of elio and oliver, which is "you'll kill me if you stop" (seen during pt. 2 Monet's Berm). this quote stuck out to me, because i think that it holds great importance in the power dynamics of the relationship between them.

we read pages and pages of elio fantasizing about oliver telling him "you'll kill me if you stop" during sex. for him, that sentence means submission. he imagines oliver as vulnerable and raw, ultimately giving elio power over him. he wants oliver to need him (as much as elio needs him). he wants oliver to be vulnerable and maybe even weak (the way elio feels with him). he wishes to be able to overpower oliver (the way oliver overpowers him).

elio seems to need that for his confidence but also to feel comfortable in his relationship with oliver (more on that later).

against elio's idea he, himself ends up repeating these words to oliver over and over again during their first time sleeping together. he ends up giving oliver the control that he seemed to want so bad just before. in a way we see that elio kind of wants to submit to oliver (for example: "Give me a blindfold, hold my hand, and don't ask me to think—will you do that for me?" or "[...] I'll do anything for you") and yet, he ends up feeling miserable after doing exactly that during sleeping with oliver.

elio describes feelings of disgust, shame, regret, sorrow, maybe anger even. he wishes to shower (even after swimming in the lake) to wash oliver off him. he even never wants to see him again for a few hours.

it's like he woke up from a nice dream after engaging in the action, only realizing then what he had done and what this might mean for him.

but all that changes when elio suddenly has power over oliver for a moment. when he goes after him later that day, he's able to catch oliver off guard when he tells him "fuck me, elio". he disappears after that, feeling proud of himself for leaving oliver turned on without doing anything about it (similar to what oliver had done to him in the morning with the promise of a blowjob). being able to make the decision to leave but still know that he has an impact on oliver gives elio exactly the power he needs (for a moment), which then is the reason he has enough security in their dynamic to continue sleeping with oliver ("Never in my life had i been so happy"- from this i take that, after the scenario described before, he feels okay again with sexual interactions between him and oliver).

but why is that?

my theory is that elio is, even if only subconsciously, totally aware of their difference in power within their dynamic. he seems to know just how much power oliver potentially has over him in this relationship, reasons being oliver is older, more experienced, farer in life, maybe even smarter (from elio's pov). additionally he seems to realize that a teenager-adult dynamic/relationship shouldn't proceed to a sexual point or one of romantic feelings. there's no way to change that teenager-adult dynamic, even though elio would like to forget about it (still, there's a thrill in sexually engaging with someone older than him).

therefore, elio seems to stand in between his sexual desires for oliver (and later his feelings for him) and his understanding of the fact that nothing should have ever happened between them. we see that elio never decides against oliver, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't know that they shouldn't sleep with each other, even though he actively decides to ignore it.

with keeping all this in mind, i think it is safe to say that "you'll kill me if you stop" is the ultimate key to elio's understanding of their relationship dynamics.