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My Reality (Ch. 2)

August 20, year 25

We’re all emotional. It’s our last dinner party as 7 and towards the end of the night we can’t hold back our tears. Everyone is in tears, especially me since I’m the most emotional one out of the group. Chrisie was offered an amazing intern position over seas, and we of course told her to take it. Kat had gone with her a few weeks back to help her find an apartment. Because it was on the other side of the world, she managed to get things done and finalized over email. I remembered when she first gave us the news, she called us all up to our favorite cafe by the park and after a few minutes of conversation she broke the news. “You all know I love you right?” She started, her voice starting to shake. We all nodded, not knowing what was coming after. “I’ve been working really hard since I graduated and my boss seems to really enjoy my work. She called me to her office earlier this week to let me know she was proud of how far I’ve come in these last few months. She put in a good word for me and sent some of my work out to some of her colleagues, and well, I got offered a great internship, several actually, but this one company in New York wants me to start ASAP. I haven’t made the decision yet but I don’t want to let anyone down.” “LET ANYONE DOWN?! Chrisie no! That’s great news!” The cafe erupted with noise for a few seconds.

“What do you mean let anyone down? You’ve been working extremely hard for this. You’re the best graphic designer I know! Remember the poster you did for our small production we made for the guys? It. Was. Beautiful.” stated Maya.

Why was Chrisie thinking she was going to let anyone down? Did I want her to go? Not at all.

“Why do you think you’re gonna let us down?” I asked.

“Because we had so many plans. I’ve already grown extremely close to all of you, I don’t want all the plans we’ve made to be ruined because I take this internship.”

“No no! Why would they be ruined? Because you are going to fulfill and work on your dream? You’re crazy!” Exclaimed Kat.

“Do we want you to go? No. But who are we to keep you from your dream and achieving greater things? That would just be selfish of us.” I continued.

“What are your options? Maybe we could work something out if they are close enough.” said Mia.

“Well there’s several companies. There’s one in London, one in Manchester, two in Singapore, one it Italy, one in Australia, one in Mexico, two in South America and three in America that really want me.”

“Oh wow! She must have really praised you and sent out the best of your work!” exclaimed Josie in amazement.

“Which one do you want to take?” Asked Mia

“Well, the one closest to y’all but..”

“But... what?”

“The best ones, the ones my boss recommended, are the one in New York and Los Angeles and honestly, I’d be a fool not to take either of those.”

“Then take them! Both of them! Take them all!!” I exclaimed shortly before Josie lightly smacked my leg to tell me to calm down.

“I’d be 17 to 14 hours behind y’all though. With bearly any time to come visit.” You Can tell she was torn by the tone of her voice. She wanted to take it but she didn’t want to leave us behind.

“There’s always FaceTime or video call. And well, we have social media to stay in touch.” stated Bella.

I could tell her voice was breaking but she was trying to hide it. She’s better at it than me. Something I’ve always admired of her. No matter how bad the situation, her and Mia would be the strongest pillars to hold us all up.

“She wants an answer by next Friday. So I have about a week to decide.” said Chrisie after a moment of silence.

“Well, just view your options and take the best one. See who is gonna give you better benefits and who is actually gonna help you out and treat you better. Research them too, don’t just take people’s word.” said Mia with that knowledgeable tone she gets when she’s trying to give us good advice. It’s getting late, and we all have responsibilities to attend to the next day so we all decided to end the night. With a semi heavy heart we all gave Chrisie a hug and started heading our separate ways. Mia, Maya, and Bella walked with me since we all lived in the same direction. “We should throw a party!” shouted Maya out of no where. I jumped. She startled me since I was lost in thought as we were making our way through the park. All four of us busted out laughing because of my reaction. “Are you okay?” asked Mia still laughing at me. “Yeah. I’m fine. I just spaced out.” “Apparently! Cause you jumped hard!” “What kind of party you want to throw, Maya?” I asked when we finally recovered from my little episode. “A farewell party! And we should invite everyone! And just give her the best time ever!” “By everyone, you mean the guys too right?” “Yes! And their mommas!” We all looked at Maya. “Okay , maybe not their mommas. We don’t even know them. Well, not in person at least.” “I don’t know about them darlin, last time I talked with Jin he said they were about to get really busy. Remember last time we all hung out they shared with us their schedule and how we wouldn’t be able to hang out for a while?” “Yeah, last time we all did anything together was like two weeks ago.” added Bella. “True. True. Well maybe all six of us can do something for Chrisie. Something more intimate where it’s just the seven of us.” said Maya as she started to get lost in thought trying to figure out what to do. “Hmmm. How about a dinner party? Just the seven of us? That’s intimate right?” suggested Bella. “Oohh yes!! But where?” “Okay. Well we still have time to plan this out. She hasn’t even given an answer to her boss yet, so we have at least a week.” stated Mia, and she was right. We were getting ahead of ourselves.

I waved them goodbye as I turned down my street, lost in thought again. Where is he? What could he be doing right now? Does he even have time in his busy life to spare me a thought? Probably not. It’s crazy. You get too attached too fast Evelyn, I tell myself, he’s probably way to busy right now to even miss you. But I’ve never felt like this before. Was I really getting ahead of myself? I shake the thought away as I approach my apartment building. It’s been quite a day. I check my phone again as I make my way up the stairs. Nothing. He hasn’t texted me since this morning. I reach my floor and make my way down the hall to my door, tiredness finally hitting me. Once I reach my door I’m way to tired to notice the bouquet of sunflowers at my door. Am I seeing things? I shake my head. No, it’s real, they are still there. I open my door and carry the bouquet inside. There’s a card attached to it.

“I know how much you like surprises. It’s not much, but I promise I’ll be home soon. I miss you. -SeokJin”

I can feel a huge smile on my face.

“I miss you.” But we’re just friends right? I mean we’ve been on one double date with Mia and Tae, but he never officially asked me.

“He misses me.” I whisper to myself. My phone then rings, I was too caught up in the moment to even pay attention to who was calling.

“Hello”

“Did you get them?” As soon as I hear his voice my heart starts to race even faster and I can feel the smile on my face get a tad bit bigger.

“Yes. They’re beautiful.”

“Good. I was afraid they weren’t gonna get there in time.”

“How did you know when I was getting home?”

“Mia.”

“What?! She was in on this?!”

“Yes. And Josie too.”

“What?! Those turds!” He laughs, knowing he accomplished something once again.

“Thank you. But why sunflowers?”

“Because, I saw them and thought of you. Your the sunshine that brightens up my days, my sunflower.”

I can feel myself start blushing.

“I made you blush didn’t I?”

“What? No. No. You didn’t.”

“Yes I did. I can hear it.”

“What!! Sure whatever Jin.”

“You got quiet, therefore you blushed.” He was right.

“When will you be home?”

“Mmm from the looks of it sometime towards the end of next week we’ll have a few days off. Maybe they’ll let us fly home for those few days.”

“That’s good.”

“Evelyn.”

“SeokJin”

“I miss you.”

Why did that catch me off guard?

“I miss you too” I respond after a few seconds.

“I promise I’ll be home soon. I have to go. Hoseok is glaring at me since we need to be practicing. I’ll call or text you as soon as I can.”

“Okay. Tell everyone I said hi and that I miss them too!”

“I will. Bye Ev.”

“Bye Jin.”

The phone clicks. It was only a few short minutes but hearing his voice always gets me through anything. He truly is a gift.

“I hate you.” I tell Josie the next morning as she hands me coffee at the bus stop.

“What?! Why?! What did I do?!”

“Last night! You couldn’t tell me it was Jin you were texting?! ‘Oh it’s my mom.’ is what you said when I asked!”

She laughs in amusement.

“So you got the flowers?” She finally says.

“Yes. I did.”

“And? Did you like?”

“I loved them. Then he calls me right after I’m done reading the card.”

“There was a card?! He didn’t tell me that! What’d it say?!”

“Oh look! Our bus is here.”

“What?! No! Ev! Tell me!!!”

“It was short and sweet. I’ll leave it at that.”

“Ugh fine!” She protests as we take our seats.

“So this whole thing with Chrisie, you think she’ll take it?” I ask before I sip my coffee again, changing the subject.

“I hope so. I mean I don’t want her to go but it’s for the best of her career. She’s one of the best, if not the best, graphic designer in her team. I did some research last night and the one in New York is the best.”

New York. That place, so familiar yet so distant.

“Yeah. True.” My tone changes.

The thought of New York triggered memories and feelings I’ve been trying to forget for about two years now.

“Oh crap. I’m sorry.” said Josie, realizing what just happened.

“No it’s fine. I’m over it.” I smile, reassuring her.

“Sure you are.” She said, seeing right through me as the bus reached a halt at our stop.

“Maya wants to throw a party for her once everything gets finalized and what not.”

“That would be great!! Who’s all invited?”

“For now just us 6, and well Chrisie, the guest of honor.”

“Yeah. Well I’ll help y’all plan once it gets closer to time. For now we gotta focus.”

“Focus on what?”

“Life! And work.”

“Ah yes.. work. When’s boss lady coming back from her vacation? Kinda miss that goof.”

“Soon! I hope. I’m stuck with the stuck up supervisor she left in charge. He’s a true pain in the butt. If it weren’t for you, Ev, I would of probably already quit this job.”

“Yeah, I kinda thought it’d be more chill working at this casting agency. I mean it’s better than being a waitress.”

“True that. Well, we’re here. Pray for me. Meet up for lunch?”

“As always. Don’t die till then.”

“No promises!”

I watch as she makes her way down the hall to the small set of stairs that lead up to the main offices. She’s gorgeous. Of course I can never say that to her face or she’d slap me. I wonder if she knows Yoongi is growing fond of her? Hmm who knows. I quickly make my way to my office cubicle where paperwork is already waiting on me. I wanted to work in the performing arts division, but I’m stuck putting files and applications into computers for now. We all gotta start somewhere right? I’ve had this job for about 6 months now, and when I got hired Josie told me there’s always a chance I can move up. She’s been working here since we met, she’s the reason I got this job. She started out doing the same thing I am and now she’s part of the costume design department. You should see the stuff she comes up with. She’s a gifted one, that chick.

“Evelyn. Meet Layla. It’s her first day and you’ll be training her.”

Its my supervisor, Chae. I swear she has some sort of vendetta against me because she gives me the most paperwork out of the office and now she wants me to train the new employee on top of that? Chae’s okay most of the time, but sometimes I think she doesn’t like me.

“Layla meet Evelyn. She’ll be training you on paperwork and filling as well as office education and behavior.” She looks at me with a deceiving look waiting for my reaction. I don’t fall for it.

“Hi! It’s great to meet you! I’m more than happy to help.” I smile, halfway exaggerating so Chae can notice she had no effect on me.

“Great. Well. I’ll leave y’all two at it. Evelyn don’t forget to report to me at the end of your shift. Also I’ll be expecting those files I wanted by the end of the week for review. Toodles.”

There she goes again, walking like she owns the place and feeling great about herself cause she loaded me with work again.

“I see you’ve met Chae, our supervisor. Don’t let her get to you. You’ll learn to deal with her over time.”

“Oh she’s been nice! I mean she’s said a few things but she seems cool.”

“Oh. That’s just cause it’s your first day. Just wait. Once she notices you can do something correctly she’ll start showing her true colors.”

Things got awkward for a second. I don’t do well with new people.

“Has she assigned you a cubicle?”

“No mam. She said you’d take care of that.”

“Why is that not surprising? And please. Don’t call me mam. Just Evelyn.”

“Okay. Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” I can feel there’s a bit of awkwardness starting to hit.

“Hey. Layla, right? Relax. I’ll make sure you have the best time while learning everything. It’s hard at first but im pretty sure you’ll catch on quick.”

She smirks holding her head down trying to avoid eye contact. I act as if I didn’t notice and continue,

“If you have any questions don’t be afraid to ask me.”

I smile at her to make her less nervous and try and relax her a bit. Why do I have a feeling this may go beyond work related interaction?

I meet up with Josie at the lounge for lunch anticipating what story she has for me today.

“So you’ll never guess what happened?!”

“What?”

“Ole dude is a creep! I swear! I was taking measurements to this new girl for wardrobe purposes and Mr. Know-it-and-do-it-all just barges into my peaceful room! This lady is practically naked and he doesn’t have the decency to knock?!”

“Oh my. We really need boss lady to get back. Sounds like your about to kill this man.”

“Yeah. And you don’t have to deal with him as much as I do. So I heard there’s a new lady in your department?”

“Mmm yes. Her name is Layla. She seems pretty cool. She’s sweet. And guess what?”

“What?”

“I’m in charge of training her, on top of doing most the paper work and filing and what not!”

“Oooohhh! Chae! She better not cross me or I swear I’m going to make her wish she was never born. I may lose my job in the process too, but who cares! She can’t do this to you!”

Every time I bring my supervisor up in conversation Josie gets triggered, mainly cause she had to deal with her when she started.

“Have you talked to the guys today?” I asked between bites, trying to change the subject so she doesn’t get too fired up.

“Yeah. Yoongi and Hobi texted me a few times this morning. They seem to be very busy. You? Heard any news?”

“This morning Jin texted me a few before we both got busy. Nothing new really, just that they may possibly be home by the end of next week.”

“That’s great! Maybe we should meet up? Wait. Never mind. They need to rest.”

“I’m sure Yoongi won’t mind having you around.” I say under my breath before I take a quick bite.

“What did you say?”

“Who me? Nothing. I’m eating. My mouth is full. I can’t talk.”

She stares at me with the usual ‘I’m gonna kill you’ stare she gives me when situations like this occur. I try not to laugh.

Lunch hour is about over and we both have loads of work to catch up on. We exchange waves and start heading our separate ways. My phone goes off, and just like clockwork I see “Jin” on my screen. I unlock my phone only to reveal a semi long, thought out paragraph from him. That text message right after lunch is what gets me through the end of my day. Funny how that night back in June brought us closer. A lot has changed between us since then. Good change. I smile. I can feel my face turning red. He’s done it again. Made my heart race. I immediately tell myself to stop. He’s been good at that lately, making my heart race, but I still haven’t worked up the courage to tell him the truth, my truth. My secrets. The actual reality I’ve tried to hide from everyone all these years. “Can’t wait to get home and see you. I promise it won’t be long. Text me when you get off. Have a blessed rest of the day.” I can’t help but feel two different ways reading that last part. Promise. Every promise he’s ever made me he keeps, and yet, I still find it hard to believe that word, especially coming from him. Why, you may wonder? Because the only other guys I’ve opened up to like this have promised me things and never came through with them. One of the main reasons I decided do leave and come here. But I don’t want to hurt him, in fact that’s the last thing I want. I shake these thoughts away as soon as I reach the office door. Layla is waiting for me. Her back is turned towards the door but I notice something as soon as I approach her. I see a familiar face on the cover of her laptop. No way! I knew something told me we’d be good friends!

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evidence-me-blog · 6 years ago

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CAUSE THEY WORK HARD & THEY REACT THIS WAY, WHAT THE HELL IS THE UNIVERSE SUPPOSED TO DO? SAY NO TO THEIR DREAMS & DESIRES?

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evidence-me-blog · 6 years ago

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Update

My Reality Ch. 2 in the making!! I’ll have it up soon i promise!

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evidence-me-blog · 6 years ago

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✧ Home ✧ 190130

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evidence-me-blog · 6 years ago

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My Reality

June 2, year 25

It was a cool summer night in Seoul. I was staring out my bedroom window, watching the busy streets perform their wonderful light show, with a million thoughts invading my mind. I look down at my phone, he hasn’t texted me since last night. A friend had called me up saying they were all going to go hang out at the guys place, that I should come. I thought that everything was okay now that it had been a few days since our last encounter. He hadn’t really texted or called me much since that night, but taking the last conversation we had I assumed all was cleared up. We all lived a few blocks within each other so we all agreed to meet at the park which marked half way between our neighborhoods and the bus stop.

We’re all there, Josie, Kat, Mia, Bella, Maya, Chrisie, and myself. We are all dressed up as if we were going to a casual party but we were just going to go hang out as usual, with 7 of the most amazing souls we had ever met. Some may call us lucky, some may call it fate, and some may call it a blessing, but me, I just call it a coincidence. It was a coincidence that I came to Seoul three years ago with nothing to fall back on and meet my best friend Josie while looking for a job. A coincidence that we bumped into Chrisie and Kat while at a cafe. And a coincidence that we all met Mia, Bella, and Maya while at a small concert and we all instantly just clicked. We’ve been inseparable since that night. For a girl who came to Seoul looking to start out fresh I say I got blessed bumping into these girls. They truly are something else. It’s funny, we’re all very different, but we share one thing in common, we’re all falling for the same group of amazing souls. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you who they were, so I’ll just leave it up to you to figure it out.

We catch the bus that’ll take us across town to where their dorm is located. Funny how I haven’t seen him in a few days, and even though we’ve talked a few times since then, I miss him. Nervous. Why am I nervous? It was just a coincidence that they happened to be at the same restaurant I had saved up my money for and made reservations to celebrate our first anniversary together as friends. It’s because of these six girls that my first year in Seoul wasn’t so lonely. Josie looks over at me and asks me if everything is okay.

“Mhmm, just nervous”.

She laughs and punches my arm.

“Dude! What’s wrong with you? It’s not like you haven’t met him. Y’all talk none stop! Get it together.”

Shes right. Why do I feel like it’s the first time I’ve met him? We used to go to their concerts as often as we could. That was before the encounter at the restaurant. That night changed all of our lives. And that’s all thanks to Mia. If it weren’t for her they would of never noticed us. Or so I thought.

We arrive at the bus stop and start heading down the busy street to their dorm. My stomach is turning and my friends are good at reading my body language so they all start messing around to help me get my mind off of things. “Everything is okay. I’m fine. He’s fine. We’re fine. Everything is fine.” I kept telling myself. But why did I feel like something was still off? We’re just a block away from the dorm. I manage to get myself together before we reach the gate. I look up and I can see they’ve been waiting on us to arrive. As soon as we ring their dorm number the gates are unlocked. Clearly Tae had been watching the camera as usual waiting for Mia. They are truly the reason this all started. I would of never gotten the courage to go up to their table and talk to them like Mia did.

“Is that..? It can’t be.. Can it?!” Exclaimed Maya at our table while she stared past me to the far wall where they were starting to sit.

“Bet you won’t go over there and talk to them?” Josie said while staring directly at me. I turned around to see exactly who they were referring to and when I saw who they were I froze.

“No way…” I gasped.

Jin was the last one to arrive and as he sat down our eyes locked for a split second, long enough for him to notice me. I quickly turn around, feeling sweat starting to form.

“… he looked at me.. he look dead at me..” I said under my breath, trying not to freak out. Josie proceeds to kick me under the table as in saying

“Bet you won’t” and she was right. “If you won’t then I will.” exclaimed Mia as she set her napkin down and just so casually got up from her seat and made her way towards them. I didn’t dare turn around, but from the look on Josie’s face I could tell it was going somewhere. Where? I wouldn’t have even dreamt that that simple bet would of caused us to be were we are now. At the door step of one of the greatest groups in Seoul. Some would say we are the luckiest girls in the world, I say we are the luckiest girls in the universe.

As soon as we reach their door I can hear Jimin from the other side say “Password?” and as we go to respond we immediately hear a thud followed by an “Wha.. ouch! Okay okay.” He opens the door rubbing the back of his head and greeting us with a playful smile. Clearly someone wasn’t too pleased with the joke. Maya barges in first with Jimin dragging behind her. We all walk in, music blasting, everyone laughing, but I still can’t shake this feeling off. And I was right. Something was still not okay. As soon as I come around the corner of the hallway I could feel it. Neither of the guys looked pleased that I was there. Jin is standing behind the couch, but as soon as he sees me he makes his way out the balcony door. RM and Yoongi just glare at me and follow him out. I immediately feel uncomfortable and turn around to make my way back out the door but I’m stopped by Kat.

“No stay. Please.”

“I’m clearly not wanted here right now. I don’t even know why I came I thought everything was okay now. I thought we had talked things out.”

“Well now’s your chance to do it face to face. What should of happened in the first place.” She looked at me sternly.

“Wait? Did you plan this?” I asked finally realizing what was going on. She proceeds to drag me to the living room where everyone is gathered and sits me on the couch.

I sit there, in silence, trying not to make eye contact with anyone and trying to think of what exactly I’m going to say to explain myself. “Explain myself? I did nothing wrong. There’s nothing I need to explain because I have absolutely no idea what caused all this.” I’m sitting there pep talking myself and over thinking the situation like I know best to do. Confrontation. I don’t like confrontation. I would much rather talk things through over the phone then face to face because I just feel stronger if I don’t have to look anyone in the eyes, especially him. I guess not everything got cleared up last time we talked about the situation. Has he even talked to him about that night? Taking the current situation I guessed not. RM and Yoongi walk back in from what seemed like a long, intense conversation with Jin. I quickly stand up from my seat. Yoongi walks by with his head down and makes his way over to Josie. Clearly he knows something I don’t. RM stops and looks at me

“You need to go fix that.” He said and makes his way to the kitchen.

They were all upset at me. I mean who could blame them, they are like brothers and I had upset the oldest. Whatever it is I had done.

I make my way to the balcony and before I open the glass door I see Jin, just sitting there on the floor like a kid who had just lost his puppy. I clenched my fists together, half way hating myself for what ever it is I had done to cause him to be like this. I open the door and slowly make my way to him and join him on the floor. Everything is awkward for a minute. I don’t know what to say or how to say it. Where do I even start? I look down at my hands trying to gather my thoughts and the courage to face him. “What did I even do?” I still didn’t fully understand.

“Why?”

He said breaking the silence. His voice breaking a bit. I can’t tell if it’s out of anger or sadness. I look up. I can feel a knot starting to form in my throat. I open my mouth to try and respond but nothing comes out. Why do I feel like the worst person in the world right now? How can I make this all go away and go back to the way things were about a week ago. He looks up and stares off into the city.

“Why did it have to be you and not somebody else? Anyone else.”

“What do you mean?” I respond. I can feel my voice shaking. No response. We sit there in silence for a few minutes. I don’t understand what I did wrong.

“Please tell me exactly what it is that I did wrong because I’m not understanding. I want to fix this. Please talk to me.” I finally break the silence. He stands up and makes his way to the railing and he just stares out into the busy city.

“That night. At the after party after the show. Did you not notice?”

“Notice what?”

“Jimin.”

“What about him?”

“The way he was acting around you? Did you not notice it?”

“He was being his usual self around me. We were joking and messing around like usual”

“No. Not just that.”

I get up and join him. Clearly something happened that night that I was completely oblivious to.

“What was it? What did I do? Did I do something wrong? Please tell me”

“You didn’t do anything.”

I started to get frustrated.

“Well apparently I did do something because you’re upset at me, and because you’re upset at me all six of them are too and I have no clue why or what it is I did. And I thought we fixed this the other day over the phone but I see now that it’s not and I have absolutely no idea what it is that I did…” I went off, my tone deepening. He then turns to face me, cutting me off. His tone changes. I can see his veins on his neck popping up like they do when he’s upset.

“You did nothing. That’s the thing. The fact that you didn’t do a thing when he approached you like that. I get it, you two have gotten close over the past few months and you both treat each other like siblings but that’s not the point. The point is that you didn’t notice how he was acting after they got back. You could of at least said something to him.”

It all started to come back now. We had all gone to see them preform at a small music show the city was holding and we all got invited to celebrate a great night after at the managers house. Yoongi had talked Kookie and Jimin into going with him to his usual bar just a block away from the house. When they finally joined the party all three were a bit buzzed. I was way to caught up in the moment to even notice Jimin’s approach. I was standing in a corner with Josie and Mia when Jimin approached me.

“Dance?” he said with that playful smirk of his. I take his hand and he drags me out to the dance floor and we dance just like we would have at any other party we’ve gone to. Or so I thought.

I quickly think back to the exact moment something must of gone wrong that I didn’t notice. It’s all clear all of a sudden. I should of noticed he was a bit more intoxicated than usual. I should have noticed he was being a little too friendly this time. I should have noticed when he gave Jin that defying look as Jin made his way back into the house.

“He was flirting with me wasn’t he?”

“You should know by now how he is. He acts that way around Maya. You’ve seen it. We all have.”

“Well have you talked to him about it?”

“Yes that same night after we got home. He noticed I was not okay.”

“Well..?”

“He apologized to me and promised me he wouldn’t drink that much again. He said it was his fault. He didn’t know what he was doing. That it wasn’t his place to act that way, especially not with you.”

“Well then.. why are you so upset a me? Cause I didn’t notice? I’m sorry I was way too caught up in the moment.”

“You really don’t know do you?”

“Know what?”

“You seemed to be flirting back. Even Hobi noticed. That’s the reason I went in the house. After he pointed it out I couldn’t keep looking at you both so I just left.”

He’s right. I have an issue of not noticing when I unconsciously flirt back with someone. It’s like a reaction. They are friendly so I start being friendly back, I just don’t know exactly how to tell when someone crosses the line between friendly and flirting. That’s one of the reasons I came to Seoul to try and escape. I look down at the ground, hanging my head in disappointment.

“Jin,… I’m sorry. I have a bad habit of not catching myself and you’re right. I should have noticed and I should have said something.”

He turns his gaze back out towards the busy city.

“I just don’t understand why it had to be you. It could have been anyone else in this city but you had to be the one to catch my interest. You’re a mystery, Evelyn, you know that right,?” his tone changed now.

The tension had finally left us both but something was still bothering him. No one except Josie knew my full story, where I come from and why I decided to come to Seoul. I still haven’t found the courage to open up to him about my past. It’s not that I wasn’t ready, I was just scared. Scared to open up to him. Why was I so scared? He wasn’t like the others. With him it’s different. Good different. I just wasn’t ready.

“I’ll try and watch myself from now on. With everybody, not just him. I’m sorry. I truly am. Now can we please go back inside and join the others?”

He hesitates for a minute, as if he has something else to tell me but then starts to make his way to the door and I follow. He holds the door open for me and as I walk in I can feel everyones eyes on us. I make my way to the couch and sit down. Everyone still waiting. Jin comes and sits by me not long after close enough to let everyone else know all is forgiven but still keeping a safe, respectful distance. He looks at me, smiles and pats me gently on my knee reassuring me all is completely fine now, before turning to join in with the others. I sigh in relief. All is truly okay.

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evidence-me-blog · 6 years ago

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and wannable loves wanna one a lot as well ♥ wanna one’s message during IPU confession ver.

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evidence-me-blog · 6 years ago

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My Reality

June 2, year 25

“Mhmm, just nervous”.

She laughs and punches my arm.

“Dude! What’s wrong with you? It’s not like you haven’t met him. Y’all talk none stop! Get it together.”

“Is that..? It can’t be.. Can it?!” Exclaimed Maya at our table while she stared past me to the far wall where they were starting to sit.

“Bet you won’t go over there and talk to them?” Josie said while staring directly at me. I turned around to see exactly who they were referring to and when I saw who they were I froze.

“No way...” I gasped.

Jin was the last one to arrive and as he sat down our eyes locked for a split second, long enough for him to notice me. I quickly turn around, feeling sweat starting to form.

“... he looked at me.. he look dead at me..” I said under my breath, trying not to freak out. Josie proceeds to kick me under the table as in saying

“No stay. Please.”

“I’m clearly not wanted here right now. I don’t even know why I came I thought everything was okay now. I thought we had talked things out.”

“Well now’s your chance to do it face to face. What should of happened in the first place.” She looked at me sternly.

“Wait? Did you plan this?” I asked finally realizing what was going on. She proceeds to drag me to the living room where everyone is gathered and sits me on the couch.

“You need to go fix that.” He said and makes his way to the kitchen.

They were all upset at me. I mean who could blame them, they are like brothers and I had upset the oldest. Whatever it is I had done.

“Why?”

“Why did it have to be you and not somebody else? Anyone else.”

“What do you mean?” I respond. I can feel my voice shaking. No response. We sit there in silence for a few minutes. I don’t understand what I did wrong.

“That night. At the after party after the show. Did you not notice?”

“Notice what?”

“Jimin.”

“What about him?”

“The way he was acting around you? Did you not notice it?”

“He was being his usual self around me. We were joking and messing around like usual”

“No. Not just that.”

I get up and join him. Clearly something happened that night that I was completely oblivious to.

“What was it? What did I do? Did I do something wrong? Please tell me”

“You didn’t do anything.”

I started to get frustrated.

“Well apparently I did do something because you’re upset at me, and because you’re upset at me all six of them are too and I have no clue why or what it is I did. And I thought we fixed this the other day over the phone but I see now that it’s not and I have absolutely no idea what it is that I did...” I went off, my tone deepening. He then turns to face me, cutting me off. His tone changes. I can see his veins on his neck popping up like they do when he’s upset.

“Dance?” he said with that playful smirk of his. I take his hand and he drags me out to the dance floor and we dance just like we would have at any other party we’ve gone to. Or so I thought.

“He was flirting with me wasn’t he?”

“You should know by now how he is. He acts that way around Maya. You’ve seen it. We all have.”

“Well have you talked to him about it?”

“Yes that same night after we got home. He noticed I was not okay.”

“Well..?”

“Well then.. why are you so upset a me? Cause I didn’t notice? I’m sorry I was way too caught up in the moment.”

“You really don’t know do you?”

“Know what?”

“You seemed to be flirting back. Even Hobi noticed. That’s the reason I went in the house. After he pointed it out I couldn’t keep looking at you both so I just left.”

“Jin,... I’m sorry. I have a bad habit of not catching myself and you’re right. I should have noticed and I should have said something.”

He turns his gaze back out towards the busy city.

“I’ll try and watch myself from now on. With everybody, not just him. I’m sorry. I truly am. Now can we please go back inside and join the others?”

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