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happy Valentines  ❤️

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HUNTER SCHAFER by Magdalena Wosinska for Out Magazine (2019)

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hunter schafer icons TommyxZendaya ♡ like or reblog if you save ✨

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Euphoria (2019) 

Creator: Sam Levinson

“Drugs are kind of cool. I mean, they’re cool before they wreck your skin. And your life. And your family. That’s when they get uncool. It’s actually a very narrow window of cool.”

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Joy 🌈

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Bonnibel and Marceline! Will be available as an A3 print at Smash and on my etsy a few weeks after.

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harperrileyy‌:

Harper stared at her. “You got ignored for one summer. You were ready to up and leave me for the rest of your life. I figured if you were so ready to leave, then one summer was hardly going to make a difference.” She sat up, frustration evident in the way she sighed and moved around so jaggedly. Her feet tangled in the strewn up blanket, knees brought up to her chest. It was a defensive position that made her feel a little more secure. “Of course it got weird. You kissed me. Which is great. It’s fucking great, that’s all I’ve wanted since we were kids, but it’s fuckin’ empty if you were gonna be leavin’ in a few months anyway.”

Harper stopped. Her feet dug into the mattress, fingers reaching up to brush her hair out of her face. This conversation was long overdue. “I don’t want you to stop. I just don’t want you to leave. I don’t want to get left behind again, especially not for somewhere so far away I can’t even visit. I don’t want to lose you and I don’t want to have to get over you, okay?” She wouldn’t quite make eye contact, staring off at the wall opposite her instead. “You’re my best friend and I never wanted to get in the way of your career, but if there’s shit here then you should stay here. With me. I don’t understand why you were ever going to leave in the first place.”

Harper kicked at her blanket and sighed. “This whole summer has sucked ass.”

“Yeah, like months! Did you know that WoW dropped a new patch and Classic dropped like three days ago? That’s like a lifetime! I was gonna move across the country, not across the globe, Harper! It’s not like I wouldn’t have come visit, or like you couldn’t fly out. You know you’re my best friend, dude! I wasn’t about to throw it all down the toilet. That really hurt,” Evan countered, brows furrowed as she looked at her best friend. Then Harper revealed that the kiss was all she’d ever wanted since they were kids, and Evan’s heart sank a little. How could she not know? How could either of them not realize it sooner?

“I would never leave you behind, Harper. If you think I’d do that, then you don’t know me at all,” she said with a small frown on her lips. “I only just found out about those openings, and. I dunno. I thought moving away was what I wanted, but it all just rang so hollow without you there with me. I don’t wanna live anywhere you’re not,” she said, looking down at her hands.

“This summer sucked ass. And I gotta crash here til I get an apartment cause my mom doesn’t know I stayed. El oh el,” she snerked sadly. She knew she’d get her ass chewed out by her family, but it didn’t matter. “Thankfully I’ve got some money saved up. I’m gonna make this work.” Evan was a little scared, sure, and Harper wasn’t doing much to bolster her decision to stay, but Evan knew that was just the way she was. Harper Riley had never been an open book, especially not when emotions were concerned. But maybe this was good enough. Knowing that the other wanted her to stay, and that she didn’t want Evan to stop feeling this way.

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harperrileyy‌:

“You don’t know what I get up to after you fall asleep,” Harper muttered, “I could be an undead warlock. I’m just an undead warlock without emotions. Clearly.” She scrunched her nose up. Along with lactose intolerance and frizzy hair, feelings were something she wished she didn’t have to deal with. Especially those in the realm of romantic feelings, especially those she felt towards Evan. They did nothing but cause her hassle, and Harper really wasn’t much of a fan of hassle. 

Such thoughts entertained her mind until Evan had safely locked the door behind them, which meant that she hadn’t thought about what she was going to say once they got up here. Which meant that Harper said exactly nothing, and slumped down to lay on her bed instead. Evan was the one that was good at these kinda conversations. She was also the one Harper had been ignoring all summer - and the girl sighed when she realised that she probably owed Evan a little more effort than that.

“What the hell are you gonna do here if you’re not takin’ that internship?” Harper asked. “I don’t want you throwin’ away your career for me, blondie. And this city ain’t exactly known for it’s boundless opportunities.”

Evan snerked when Harper said she was an undead warlock without emotions. “That’s kind of the implication here,” she said. Evan wasn’t dumb, she knew that Harper had difficulty expressing her feelings for a variety of reasons, and that she often denied herself the opportunity to feel anything. Which was impressive considering she didn’t even smoke weed the way Evan did from time to time-- at least to the blonde.

“I’m not throwing away my career. That company isn’t the only one hiring, and besides... I kinda started developing my own game. Did you know Stardew Valley was developed by one guy by himself? And look how big it got! I mean. My aspirations are to make the next big fantasy game, but like... now I’m going off on a tangent. Rockstar Games is looking for UI and AI programmers. I can totally do that and start building a portfolio. They’re the guys who make Red Dead Redemption and Grand Theft Auto and all that, and you know how hard I was yeehawing when RDR2 came out. I was also slightly drunk, but that’s beside the point... look...” Evan sat down on the bed next to Harper and sighed.

“I don’t wanna force you to like... tell me anything. But you ignored me like ALL summer, and that really hurt. Not only that, but like. I dunno... Things just got super weird between us, and I don’t like it, especially when I...” she sighed and looked down at her hands. Chipped pink polish that matched the tips of her hair told tales of Evan’s nervous, fidgetty nature, but she quickly looked back up, tucking a few strands behind her ear. “I think about you nonstop, Harp. And I dunno what that means, maybe I’m weird, maybe I should stop. I just. Can’t. I will if you tell me to stop, so just. Tell me to.”

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harperrileyy‌:

Harper held Evan tight. It would have taken a bodybuilder to prise her arms away, her fingers clinging to Evan’s shirt and pulling her closer. Harper’s heart was beating out of her chest. 

“I don’t give a fuck about Sadie. I don’t give a fuck about anything. I just don’t want you to leave,” Harper mumbled. She shook her head. “I don’t want to get in the way of your internship. If you want to leave then you know I’m not going to stop you, but-” she swallowed hard and squeezed Harper tight, “I don’t want you to leave. It was meant to be you and me against everything else and I don’t- I don’t want you to leave. I don’t want that to change.”

A whistle came from someone passing by and Harper flinched. She took a step back, rubbing at her eyes even though she wasn’t crying just yet. “Can we go back inside? I don’t like people knowing I have emotions.”

Evan held Harper tightly, listening to what she had to say, then shook her head. “I don’t wanna leave. I’m not leaving. I don’t wanna take that internship, it’s not even a job. Like... I wanna be here. With you. Like you said, you and me versus everything else, and I can figure shit out, but just... I need you.”

The whistle came, and Harper pulled back. Even wiped her own face and laughed, then flicked off whoever was walking by. Her eyes flickered up to Harper and she nodded. “Yeah, let’s go inside. Can’t have ‘em knowing that you’re not actually an undead warlock summoning demons every night.” Evan tucked a few strand of hair behind her ear, then turned and headed back inside, knowing that Harper would follow her in. She didn’t stop until they were back in their room, then shut the door and locked it, in case anyone decided to barge in. She wanted to have time alone to talk without any interruptions.

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harperrileyy‌:

Harper sat and watched Evan fumble out of the room. She blinked, staring at the space that her best friend had occupied just a second before. Her head was spinning.

Evan had come back.

Harper was an idiot, but she wasn’t that much of an idiot. Evan had missed her flight. She’d come all the way back to her dorm. She’d stormed out at the sight of her in bed with someone else. And she’d said she didn’t want to go anywhere without her. Maybe Evan wasn’t quite as keen to leave as Harper had thought.

She climbed out of bed, but hesitated. The last thing Harper wanted was to let her selfishness get in the way of Evan’s career. But as she tugged a pair of shorts on and ran down the stairs, Harper found herself being just selfish enough to try.

“Evan, wait,” Harper called after her. She pushed the front door open and looked around, spotting her best friend pacing back and forth on the lawn. Evan looked like she was about to cry, and Harper felt guilt stabbing at just the sight. She walked closer and gently wrapped her fingers around Evan’s wrist, pulling her into a hug.

“Why aren’t you on your plane?”

Evan turned around and froze like a deer in headlights. She wanted to take off running, but everything felt like it was going in slow motion, and it felt like her feet were made out of lead.

Harper’s voice sounded out in the distance, and the blonde turned to look at her.

Then, Harper took her wrist and pulled her into a hug, and Evan wrapped her arms around the other. “Because...” The words got caught in her throat and she squeezed the other. If she said them, she couldn't take them back. If Harper rebuffed her again, she would have nobody to blame but herself. But Evan missed a flight for her. If she got her heart broken again, she needed it to be for good.

“I’m not on that plane because I’m in love with you, Harp,” she managed to squeak out, still doing her best NOT to cry. She took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of Harper’s shampoo and curl creme. “I’m sorry if I just ruined our friendship. And if I ruined your whatever the fuck with Sadie. But if I didn’t come back, it was going to eat me alive. I can leave if you want me to. I’m sorry,” she said, her small frame shaking slightly in their embrace.

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I wanna ruin our friendship We should be lovers instead I don't know how to say this 'Cause you're really my dearest friend

@harperrileyy

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harperrileyy‌:

If she was being honest, things hadn’t been going great recently.

Which was ridiculous, and she knew it was ridiculous, and everybody around her knew it was ridiculous. Summer vacation was the best part of the year. Except it wasn’t. Not if you hated heat and beaches and parties. Not if you despised any change in routine and needed the structure of the academic year. And it was especially not the best part of the year if your best friend and the love of your life was getting ready to pick up and move to the other side of the country any second.

Harper didn’t trust easily. But she’d trusted Evan. And now she was leaving.

Needless to say, she hadn’t been handling it very well.

Evan hadn’t been too happy about being ignored, but Harper didn’t see why it mattered. She was leaving soon anyway. They’d promise to keep in touch, maybe keep it up for a couple of weeks, but then Evan would get busy with her new friends and Harper would get busy with school and that would be it. They’d never see each other again, and a decade of friendship would be down the toilet just like that.

It was easier to just pretend it wasn’t happening. 

Which was why Harper currently had her legs wrapped around the head of a girl from one of Evan’s gaming clubs. She wasn’t quite as cute nor quite as nerdy, but with her head buried between Harper’s legs, she was a very decent substitute. Harper would regret it later - but when she was this close to an orgasm, regret wasn’t really within her emotional vocabulary. 

She tangled her fingers in the girl’s blonde hair and moaned and paid no attention to the sound of footsteps bounding up the stairs.

And then her door was being thrown open and Evan was shouting and the tongue between her legs disappeared and Harper almost groaned in frustration, except Evan wasn’t on a plane, she was there, and Harper wasn’t sure why.

“I uh.. guess I should get going,” the girl muttered, buttoning her jeans up and avoiding eye contact with Evan. Harper grunted. She was very naked and very exposed herself but she barely noticed. Evan’s words kept ringing through her head over and over again.

I’m not going anywhere without you.

Did that mean she was staying?

The door shut behind the girl and Harper tugged a sweater over her head. It was Evan’s - one she’d stolen about a week ago, one that Evan had spent a good hour searching for while Harper pretended to be listening to music, and one that Harper didn’t particularly want Evan to know she had. 

She stared at her best friend and tried to work out what to say. I love you too and I don’t want you to go sprung to mind, but instead, she went with,

“You’ve got makeup all over your face.”

It wasn’t until she finished talking that everything fucking registered. Harper was in bed with one of the girls from her old gaming club, and she was definitely VERY naked. “Oh my GOD! I’m sooo sorry, I didn’t mean-- I didn’t think you’d--” Evan turned away, bumping into the desk and nearly toppling over a limited edition pink Gundam model she’d put together when she got bronchitis last summer, when she realized what she had just walked in on. Fuck. Now she felt stupid. Harper hadn’t been as bothered by this whole thing as Evan had been, and now she felt like Boo Boo the Fool walking in on this.

“I should go. You can do better than Sadie, though,” she said-- maybe a little venemously, feeling heat rising to her face. She quickly turned, spotting her sweater and scrunching her nose lightly, then opened the door and walked back out. She’d missed her flight, but maybe she could catch another. Maybe she could forget this whole embarrassing moment ever happened, and maybe she and Harper would never have to talk again.

Evan pushed past several people until she was walking out, grabbing her phone to try and call an Uber again. “Fuck! This would fucking happen to me because I’m a stupid fucking dipshit,” she muttered to herself. A string of curses fell from her lips, and she wanted to break down crying, but kept it together as best as she could, pacing on the lawn despite her shaking hands.

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I think she’s in love with her. Really? Yeah, like… Rue is in love with Jules, I think.

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This is stupid.

All summer, things between her and Harper had been... distant, to say the least. Harper tried to pretend like she was genuinely happy that Evan was going away to California. Evan was doing her best to pretend she was going to be happy. But the truth was, that every time she went to bed, she stayed up half the night worrying, stressing, and wondering.

August flew by, and now Evan was at the airport as her flight called for final boarding. Her bags had already been checked, her travel arrangements were made and underway. But she hadn’t seen Harper. It was as if the curly girl vanished over the last week, as if she could hardly stand to be in the blonde’s company.

ᴄᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ᴘᴀssᴇɴɢᴇʀ ᴇᴠᴀɴ ɢʀᴀʏsᴏɴ, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ʀᴇᴘᴏʀᴛ ᴛᴏ ɢᴀᴛᴇ ʜ.

Evan felt a heavy knot in her stomach, and she took a few steps back. Then, a few more. Before she knew it, she was in a full sprint, running across the airport-- if she had wings, she would be fucking flying.

​Her colorful eyeshadow was streaky now, color swiped across her cheek and temples from where she’d wiped tears away. One hour-long Uber ride,and a five minute sprint across campus later, she was bursting through the door of what was now Harper’s dorm.

“THIS IS STUPID!” She was breathless, but she didn’t care. “Harper, I love you, and I can’t go, and I’m NOT going anywhere without--” she let out a hacking cough holding one finger up--one sec!-- and took a deep breath, ”--sorry--YOU!”

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HUNTER SCHAFER for Cosmopolitan (2019)

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jjplswyd‌:

“What’re you doing napping at four thirty?” Harper asked. Her voice was far too loud for the library, earning herself a glare from the nosy, bitter looking librarian. She took no notice, although her voice was notably quieter as she continued to speak. “Did you at least finish-” Harper paused, trying to remember what Evan had on today. Usually she knew her friends schedule better than she knew her own, but damn - it had been too many days since they’d last talked, and Harper found herself floundering. “That thing you needed to do today?” Great cover.

Harper sighed and flicked the cover of her book open, letting it fall shut with a small thud. The librarian didn’t look anymore impressed at this than she had at the loud talking, but Harper didn’t take any more notice now than she had previously. “Anyway, you said something about dinner? I don’t know if you’re still up for that. I’m free if you are, though.”

"Combination of shit sleep schedule, boredom, tiredness, you name it,” Evan replied, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and sitting up slowly. “Mm... yeah. I think so. I dunno. There’s a club meeting tonight, but I’m thinking of skipping and letting Arthur do it since he’s VP. Couple more meetings and then that’s it, I guess,” she said, shrugging to herself. Evan’s calendar was up on the wall, usually with little post-its about what she needed to do, so she thought maybe Harper was aware and not just trying to cover her ass.

"Yeah! I’d like that still. I was thinking of trying out this new taco place that opened up nearby. That and you’ve been ignoring me for like the last week, so. I figured I could wrangle you back over to the dark side with food,” she mused, a smile audible as she spoke. Evan figured that Harper was probably busy-- at least, that’s what she wanted to tell herself. She didn’t want to think that maybe Harper was simply getting sick of her and counting down until she was finally gone.

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Evan had been bored all day. She knew there was an E-Sports club meeting at the end of the day to get a few last minute things sorted before their weekend tournament, but she wasn’t thinking about that. She noticed Harper growing a little more distant, and a bit more each day. In fact, Evan had tried texting her and inviting her to hang out, but Harper was always too busy or something came up. She couldn’t help wondering if she’d done something wrong, or if Harper was simply getting over their friendship.

Trying not to think about it was the hardest part, so Evan distracted herself by watching movies and binging on Red Dead Redemption. Finally, she felt sleepy and decided to take a nap. She was about thirty minutes into her nap when her phone began to ring and woke her with a start. When she saw it was Harper, she scrambled to pick it up, sleepiness still heavy in her voice.

“Mm... Hey Harp,” she said, rubbing her eyes slowly.

The faster the end of the semester came, the more distant Harper became. Evan was set to accept this internship, and as happy as Harper was for her, she couldn’t help but become steadily more resentful. She loved Evan so much. She loved sharing a room, listening to her rambling about World of Warcraft, throwing popcorn at the laptop screen while watching the end of Game of Thrones together. She loved Evan, and she didn’t want to lose her.

It had only gotten worse since the night they kissed. Now, all Harper could think about was the feeling of Evan’s lips against her own. She was certain the only thing on her exam papers would be drawings of those lips, descriptions of how soft and perfect they were - because she sure hadn’t stopped thinking about it long enough to revise anything else. 

Harper didn’t know what to do, and when Harper didn’t know what to do, she usually resulted in distancing herself. She wished that Evan was the exception to that, but if anything, Evan was the main example. Harper hated herself for it, but for the sixth night in a row, she was staying late at the library and ignoring Evan’s requests of dinner. Exams grew closer, the end of the year drawing near, and instead of making the most of her time left with Evan, she was wasting them all away.

Harper sighed and put her pen down. She was an idiot. She knew she was an idiot. 

This book wasn’t going to read itself, but if she was being honest with herself, Harper hadn’t actually registered a word of the last nine pages. She pushed it shut and picked up her phone instead. There were four texts from Evan and a missed call, and a small snag of guilt plucked at her stomach. She really needed to get over herself - but being around Evan hurt, and Harper had never been very good with pain.

Three minutes of contemplation had Harper finally tapping in Evan’s number. She called her best friend and held the phone to her ear, waiting for her to pick up and almost wishing she wouldn’t.

@evan-grayson