exasperatedoctopus

[exasperatedoctopus]

You know what I kinda miss? The MCU fandom pre-Civil War. Sure, we have some rockin new characters and interesting plot lines, and more fun Thor characterization, but it was a simpler, more peaceful time. A time where I didn’t have to contend with cracking open a fic and encountering someone who obviously feels waaay different about how things panned out than I do, but they’re spinning a compelling narrative nonetheless so I read the thing front to back lookin like -_- the entire time

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If James T. Kirk had a nickel for every time he was forced to become the father figure of an unstable, all-powerful being lest it delete his crew out of spite, he’d have two nickels, which is two more than I’d wish on anyone

[exasperatedoctopus]

So If you found out that there’s an alternate version of you living in a different universe would you go any lengths to vanquish them to retain your paper-thin sense of self and personal identity or would you be, like, normal about it

[exasperatedoctopus]

The funniest character development I have ever experienced as a human being is my feelings about Kicker. You know, Kicker of Transformers: Energon fame. That Kicker.

Highschool me hated that guy. He nearly got me to stop watching. He made me so mad every time he did anything on screen. You’d think the abysmal dubbing would be what would have stopped my glorious quest to watch every single piece of transformers media I could pirate, but no. Twas the teenaged angst-cloud specialboi with glowy hair and an attitude problem the size of mars. I perservered, however, and carried this dislike deep in my heart for what I expected to be the rest of my days.

Then I decided to rewatch the Unicron Trilogy a few years ago. For reasons. And, guys, Kicker is now my specialest little guy. He is doing so well considering what he had to deal with!! His dad lowered him down a hole with god at the bottom with nothing but a dinky little flashlight to his name. Hes been hung out of spaceships at the tender age of 10 for scientific purposes. He’s been provisionally raised by giant mechanical beings because his dad was too busy with science to deal with him. He’s the resident magical energon Geiger counter against his own will. No wonder he’s always being such a punk. Someone help my little guy.

What does this have to do with my character development? Unclear, hopefully something about getting better at that whole Empathy thing. Mostly I think I took an industrial-sized chill-pill. Moral of the story is rewatch old shows at your old peril cuz you’ll discover that past you was a stone-cold jerk.

[exasperatedoctopus]

You know, I think we should, in general, be making more fun of Bones than Kirk about his track-record with beautiful (and possibly evil) women. Kirk comes by his reputation honestly and we should defintely poke fun at him because his knee-jerk reaction to problem solving is some form of seduction at base. That’s just facts. But we also never talk about Leonard “Heart-Eyes” McCoy, who 9 times out of 10 is the one who does something dumb because a lady looked at him with big sad eyes. He’s the anti-Kirk. Getting seduced for plot purposes is what he does. Salt monster, anyone? Death by Jousting Incident? Not to mention that entire asteroid-ship debacle. I diagnose him with Southern Gentleman and it is terminal.

[exasperatedoctopus]

I know, objectively, that Spock is the second in command and so it makes sense that the crew turns to him when Kirk is indisposed, but it’s so funny that Kirk disappears off the bridge and they immediately start yelling for Spock like he isn’t exactly one meter away from the incident

[exasperatedoctopus]

The Concience of the King: when he was growing up, Kirk was TRAPPED on a planet that suffered a HORRIBLE GENOCIDE because of its PSYCHOTIC EUGENECIST GOVERNOR and he barely escaped with his LIFE. He is changed FOREVER and HAUNTED by this experience

Every other Kirk Plotline in Star Trek: 🙈🙉🙊

[exasperatedoctopus]

The funniest part of the Menagerie is Spock single-handedly conducting his own court martial with complete sincerity. He might have betrayed everyone aboard to help Pike, but he’s going to be a gentleman about it if it’s the last thing he does

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Evil Kirk rambles into his sickbay demanding whiskey and exactly 0.003 seconds later Bones calls Spock on his little flip phone to be like ?????? Come get your man ????? No hesitation. None of this Captain’s Dignity nonsense. Kirk puts one toe out of line in front of Bones and he immediately chooses the nuclear option: Spock’s Eminently Logical Concern.

[exasperatedoctopus]

You know you’re in trouble at the dentist when whatever they’re doing in your mouth requires peer review

[exasperatedoctopus]

Aw, they didn’t have Uhura’s French dubber sing her little song about how Spock is an irresistible moon man. Tragique :(

[exasperatedoctopus]

Janice Rand, you deserved so much more than you got

[exasperatedoctopus]

You know who I feel bad for? The captain who drops Charlie X off with the Enterprise. He’s practically blinking SOS in Morse code the whole time while onscreen and then gets summarily exploded into oblivion as soon as he leaves. An ignominious death if I ever saw one

[exasperatedoctopus]

Watching The Cage is wild, cuz they hadn’t hammered out what they wanted to do with Spock yet. He’s joking with his coworkers, he’s smiling at floating blue foliage, he’s visibly worried about people getting kidnapped.

You meet this friendly little alien fellow who’s maybe a little stiff, but overall here for a good time, and then they hit you with The Man Trap where his height of emotional expression is slightly raising his voice while repeatedly punching an unphased monster-woman in the face

[exasperatedoctopus]

Can’t believe that the first Star Trek episode ever created was just about a guy experiencing Chronic Captain Burnout while taunted by visions of horses and a beautiful woman

[exasperatedoctopus]

It took Kai Winn exactly 0.276 seconds to descend violently into despotism when she becomes governor. I timed it, and so did Kira. This is why Kira will always have my support when it comes to overthrowing the Bajoran government

[exasperatedoctopus]

What I should be doing: finishing my Gararagator amagurumi and working on my most recent cross-stitch pattern

What I am actually doing: gazing at the basics of bobbin lacemaking with sparkly, covetous eyes