explorintheworld - Tumblr blog

[explorintheworld]

Winter wonderland *

[explorintheworld]

[explorintheworld]

[explorintheworld]

Fall vibes

[explorintheworld]

Blue hour on earth

[explorintheworld]

2021

what a year. This year went by so fast yet so slow. Not much to say besides covid ruining the year. I will say being in a relationship during this was good. Covid brought us closer and I dont think i would be where i am today if it was otherwise. Couldnt do anything is new year but still grateful for everything and everyone in my life. I got braces, in a relationship, and most importantly im happy. My mental health has been the best ive ever had it been. I still need therapy to heal but im real happy im doing better. Its crazy how a couple years back i longed to be where i am today. Being depressed, you dont see the light at the end of the tunnel but its there. Im here now. I’m grateful for what i have and not what i thought i needed a couple years ago. No more trying to prove myself or ceying because i dont feel loved. Oh God i feel more thank loved now. Thank you. I hope this new year really does get better ( covid wise) and that i get to travel and experience other places as I was meant to do. This year will be special. I know it.

[explorintheworld]

Nostalgic for the old memories that now live in my head.

[explorintheworld]

Nostalgic

[explorintheworld]

Signal Hill, CA

[explorintheworld]

Big Bear

[explorintheworld]

2020

365 days wow. I mean where do I start...... I guess I can start off by saying that this year was really healing mentally. That being said boy was it tough. I think this year I cried more than I have all the prior years combined. I decided to get help by seeing a therapist and that was a big step for me. I really do have to give myself a round of applause for doing so. I also have to be proud of not giving up and dealing with the depression, anxiety, and eating disorder. I wanted to give up so many times and I dont know how I managed but I did. Alone too. I really changed my life this year and I wanna say it was for the better. I let go of people who don’t benefit my life, I’ve learned to not let how others see me affect me so much. I’m pretty content with the way im ending the year and the people i’m bringing into the new year. You would think I would have alot to say since this is the last day of the decade but I dont. I really just have to say i’m proud of what I’ve gone through and i’m happy to become the person I see myself as. And that is the goal going into 2020. To work on mysel and to love endlessly and be fearful and adventurous. I wanna travel more and enjoy life as much as I can.... after all what else can I do. Goodbye 2019, hello 2020.

[explorintheworld]

2019

Hi again. WoW. A whole year has really gone by. If you had asked me before about time going by quick I would have laughed and said the days couldnt go by any slower. Now as I lay here in this convertible couch bed in Toronto,Canada and reflect I must say the year really flew by. So much has happened this year. So much change, many laugh, many cries and I mean MANY cries I have to say this really was a rollercoaster. So much happened that I really am left speechless. As i read by post from last year I must say I did accomplish my goal of being in a different country for New years. I’m currently in Toronto enjoying life with my friend who lives here. A friend whom I met this year at a church event. The rest of my goals, as usual, I did not accomplish. I’m not mad at myself for not doing so because I’ve learned that happiness isn’t permanent and being in love with life and taking care of yourself in all aspects isn’t an everyday thing. I learned that every single person struggles with these problems.... some more than others unfortunately but we all have similar issues regarding loving our lives and ourselves. I won’t lie and say im not scarred of this year... because i truly am terrified. I have so many options laid out infront of me and whichever one I choose i know it’ll make my life a complete 360 turn. Whether I stay in my city or leave back home.... I hope i make the correct decision. So moving into 2019 I want myself to learn how to deal with my bad days and enjoy the living hell of my good days. I want to have more good days than bad days because frankly this year was more towards the bad days. I also want to focus on all the good things I have in life and enjoy life for the little things. I want peace with others but mostly peace with myself. I’ve been at war for as far as I can remember so I hope to come at ease with myself somehow. I want to live my own life... be my own version of happiness... As i write this i know i won’t be reading this until December 31st 2019 so honey if you’re reading this one year later I want you to know you did amazing for surviving another year in this shitty world and hope you found yourself and found everything you need ❤️

[explorintheworld]

2018

Its December 31st. 1am to be exact. It’s the last day of 2017. Now, i know that its really just another day, that tomorrow will just be another typical Monday. But we do have new calendars and something about the fact that tomorrow can be a fresh start... a fresh start to a new year. A good year. I’m currently in Iceland. Crazy... I know. I don’t have my notebook with me hence the use of this notepad. I just want to come on here and write down my goals for 2018. I’ve done this every year so it’s become a yearly routine. As I look past this year I can surely say it wasn’t the best year. Was it bad ? No. Could it have been better? Yes, of course. As we go into this new year I wanna do something different. Something I should have done a long time ago. I want to look after myself. My mental health,my physical health, & my spiritual health. 2018 will be the year I finally put myself first and start taking care of myself. I’ve put myself through so much these couple of years and to be auite honest, I’m so exhausted. I’m not going to keep this same shitty daily routine of waking up and feeling sorry for myself.Not anymore. I deserve much better. I deserve happiness. For once, I’m going to do it.