eyeslemontea

[eyeslemontea]

hey we *should* talk abt tashiro and loneliness! sometimes i get reminded of that page in second anime guidebook extra where tashiro is just quietly observing around and when he says its gonna be lonely kuresawa does his glasses thing,,, and what happened to lonelines,,, we definitely should talk about it

okay i need to lock in. hello anon thank you so much for letting me unleash this unto the world. buckle up strap in Here we go.

TASHIRO GONZABUROU AND LONELINESS: AN IMPROMPTU ESSAY

first we are all going to look at this excerpt from the Sasaki and Miyano: First Years Novel:

“So you’re never coming back, President?” I said. “I ain’t President anymore.” “Not the point! I haven’t beat you yet…” I clenched my fists, a yawning, lonely feeling of loss opening within me. “Ahh. You mean the thing about getting to quit if you win? The next president’ll keep that promise. Don’t you worry.” “What?” I don’t get it. What happened to the loneliness? The new president—in other words, Hanzawa.

a bit of context just in case you're here and you don't know yet: Tashiro's chapter in the first years novel deals with his joining of the ping pong club, which he initially did as a joke kind of but couldn't leave until he beat the club president (really good at ping pong). so he's downright stuck. and he doesn't like to admit it but he dedicates a lot of his time trying to beat the president. and he never does win. and then the president graduates and hanzawa is the new president. so it's like. for a moment, all that time and dedication and well. friendship. was being taken away from him. i think the previous president was maybe one of the closest people he had. takes two to play ping pong, and all that. it's a conversation. hurts to have your partner taken away.

and then we get the second guidebook extras. where fucking this happens:

and afterwards miyano thinks about loneliness and Sasaki graduating but we're Not Going To Get Into That. sooo funny you're comparing hanzashiro and sasamiya harusono shou Sorry. this isn't about that. anyways. we see it here again. Tashiro's president is graduating again. and he feels lonely. and this time there's no one to replace it. that yawning, lonely feeling of loss. (<-just. a really insane way to describe it. insanely profound. harusono shou and hachijo kotoko Answer my calls.)

so those kind of set the stage for me being completely totally insane. even before these, i kinda always had the feeling of like. what I've mentioned in my other posts. about how hes Friends With Everyone but not close with anyone. he's quite surface level. and those he Was rather close with, the prospect of losing them makes him lonely so easily. even just graduating. not getting to see them every day. and like. when he does let that feeling slip in the guidebook extra, everyone is kinda. stunned. like that show of vulnerability isn't normal at all from him. the way it's also framed as rainy and gloomy, and especially that dim panel of him smiling but thinking "it feels like not even half of them are still around…" its ominous as hell. he's so melancholic about it. but he still puts on that smiley facade. and looks around like it's a ghost town when nobody's looking.

another facet of it is his sharp insight. he's really good about noticing things about other people. and he's a really good listener. so i think a lot of people just. end up telling him things. but he doesn't really tell other people things. which is what i mean by friends with everybody but not close with anybody. people open up to him, but he doesn't open up to them. and the only people he was getting there with go on and graduate. leaves him lonely.

so it's all kinda like. he's very surface level social. in a way that nobody thinks he's got anything else going on. hes a Fun Guy!! nothing wrong over here! not that he necessarily has anything Wrong. just the feeling of like. he could have like a dead parent and nobody would know something was amiss. thats kinda dramatic but. yknow. he doesn't really talk about his feelings. anyways.

last aspect of the loneliness i wanna touch on a bit is his relationship with his parents. we. don't get much. one mention of them in his miso soup conversation:

“Man, that makes no sense to me! For one thing, we don’t even have miso every day at my house. If I want some, I just grab a packet of the instant stuff and boil up some water—on my own. I guess sometimes my folks ask me to make some for them, too, and I grab two packets.” “Huh! Wait, isn’t it actually expensive to make two people’s worth?” “Sure is. If that goes on for a couple days, my mom is like, it would be cheaper just to make a bunch at once! She always says laziness is the root of wasting money. And I’m like, I know that! But I keep making that soup.”

we'll get more into all that again later. focusing on his folks here. we can infer here that his parents don't seem to cook that often. it falls to him to make dinner for them all sometimes. and. i dunno. something about this makes them read as kinda distant. not in a neglectful or hurtful way... just. they don't care about what he does. like. I don't think he told them or asked permission to bleach his hair. he just Did It and came home and they were like Oh! well thats cool i guess [thumbs up]. i don't think he's very close with them either. like. he doesn't know How to open up, maybe. didn't grow up with it. that may be stretching it a bit though. whatever. either way, he keeps making that soup (miso soup metaphor for love. we'll get into it later).

so it's like. he does love his friends. he just sucks at opening up about his #feelings. and nobody could tell if he was truly upset about something. and everybody wants to hang out with someone else. it's played off for jokes but kuresawa and miyano often abandon him during breaks and holidays to hang out with their #lovers. though everybody note that shirahama is probably the exception to most of this. but he's also bad at talking about feelings so they don't really Talk about it. but he Knows. and they like to #hangout. (and thats part of what makes shirashiro so good to me. shirahama can ask a "hey are you okay" in a way that no one else can. #bestfriends) anyways.

i thiiink. that's everything. thank you for coming to my ted talk. thesis: Tashiro is secretly a pretty lonely guy but god forbid he Tell Anyone. peace and love on planet Tashiro gonzaburou….

[eyeslemontea]

[ID: A digital drawing of Tashiro and Hanzawa from Sasaki to Miyano. The main drawing is shown from behind Tashiro's head, watching Hanzawa from across a ping pong table toss up a ping pong ball, about to swing. He's surrounded by a dark background and filigree swirls. A panel to the side shows a glimpse of Tashiro's face with a worried smile. The borders and empty spaces are decorated with filigree swirls and patterns. It's rendered in a bright, painterly style with lots of color variations, mainly greens, blues, and purples. The artist's signature "sunnfish" is written on Tashiro's ping pong paddle. /End ID]

I wouldn't call this finished or completely satisfying to me but it sure is Something Experiment that I'm done with. Be free

[eyeslemontea]

So I read the new comic

[eyeslemontea]

Wind Breaker sketch dump & wips that l'll probably never finish 💭

[eyeslemontea]

whatever.

[eyeslemontea]

[eyeslemontea]

Sensei's paneling of Sakura's "tears"

Usual disclaimer: These posts are of my own opinion, if you disagree please move on~~

What stood out to me is Nii-sensei's attention to detail and symbolism throughout the series. He's so carefully built up Sakura's backstory through small tidbits that are revealed when the right time arises, and it serves to remind the audience that Sakura dealt with A LOT as a kid, but he still somehow turned out ok as a highschooler. Sakura says it early in the series - "everyone has a secret or two they don't want to share" - so I'm certain we will see his backstory when the story dictates it. This story does not shy away from tough guys shedding tears. At some point, iirc, Nirei, Kiryu, Togame, Kaji etc all shed tears... yet although we've had scenes of Sakura looking shocked and emotional, he himself has yet to shed tears.

Yet from Nii-sensei's paneling, we can see that despite being an open book most of the time and being rather mentally weak [low self confidence] (per sensei's words), Sakura is able to contain his tears well. Washing his face after recovering from the cold: The way the anime adapts this makes it seem that the water droplets are his "tears". After washing his face, he gives himself a "yosh" of encouragement and resolves to talk to Kaji, his upperclassman, on what to do for him and his classmates. It's not shown until the next chapter, but Sakura is SUPER anxious and nervous about how to face Class 1-1. He's terrified of rejection, and he gets more and more anxious when he faces them. He's scared to take that first step, but he still manages to do so ---!

The singular sliver of light on his eye through the door: After hearing Kiryu's father yell at Akari and Kiryu, Sakura gets flashback of his elementary/middle school days of living in the shed and being yelled at often. We learn he was in a situation where he was unable to speak back, and endured the verbal abuse. It's been a while since we've seen him so distressed, and the paneling makes me think that just by hearing an adult male yell triggered his flight or fight response - he also wanted to yell out and speak up but this wasn't the time. Definitely his expression shows there is some emotional baggage going on that took both Tsuge and Nirei holding him back before he could burst out.

The river's reflection: For the first time, Sakura is opening revealing some of his own past to Natsuki - he doesn't say much besides hinting that he too was abandoned by his family, and he openly admits that he's scared of being alone/rejection. But the paneling and his distant expression suggest there is much more he has yet to share - the secrets he's not ready to share even now. There's so many interpretations - such as him still feeling drowning/suffocated by his past, the ripples of the water exposing the scars of his past, the ripples suggesting his broken soul that still need more time to heal, how the water is a sign of change etc... so many different interpretations!

[eyeslemontea]

idk what to caption this

[eyeslemontea]

[ID: a digital drawing of Tashiro from Sasaki to Miyano. He's wearing his jacket and pants with his hair down, sitting in a field of sunflowers, holding his arms loosely around his knees pulled up to his chest. One version shows him smiling, slightly tense, at the viewer, while in the second version he is turned away. The style is rendered in light black lineart, with a slight green gradient around him. The artist's signature "sunnfish" is written on the hem of his pant pocket. /End ID]

Self indulgent tashiro in sunflowers again. Also practicing lineart ✌️

[eyeslemontea]

I was againat posting rhis so thata why im kinda late but HAPPY BIRTHDAY TASHIRO!!!! my favorite character in the whole series i love this guy

[eyeslemontea]

I like the moments when Tashiro is annoyed or dissatisfied, so I would like to see him get involved with various people in the future. Good luck.

I like the moments when Tashiro is annoyed or dissatisfied

[eyeslemontea]

[ID: A collage of digital sketches of Tashiro Gonzaburou from Sasaki to Miyano, with a few other side characters sprinkled in (Hanzawa, Shirahama, Ogasawara, Ichinose). They all have varying expressions and poses. The background is a light green, and the sketches use a wide range of colors and are dated in the first half of 2025. /End ID]

Didn't have anything lined up for his birthday so ive decided to compile some sketches here. Happy birthday my favoritest guy

[eyeslemontea]

Sakura and Water

Throughout the series, we see certain characters typically represented with elements of nature—predominantly, fire. However, I find it quite interesting how Sakura is associated with water instead.

The most egregious example of the former is Takiishi, who’s portrayed [in the manga’s art] with flames around him and is described as an ‘inferno’ by Endo.

He’s also shown to set his (metaphorical) world ablaze as he walks through it in Chapter 153—which brings us back to our next contender, Umemiya.

Umemiya is also associated with fire (his flames are blue however), which is quite ironic given that everyone Furin student follows the common theme of having a tree or plant in their name. After all, fire sets nature and foliage ablaze, destroying it in the process.

Endo also alludes to Ume being similar to a fire (ie. a source of heat). He especially highlights this fact during Noroshi’s final battle.

Although he isn’t exactly portrayed with flames around him, Endo does have a connection to fire. The 棪 character in 棪堂 (Endo) has the Japanese radical for fire (火) in it twice—after all, his character is staunchly connected to both Takiishi and Umemiya. He expresses the desire to burn Sakura down:

I’m also aware that Hiiragi is drawn with fire around him in his Bishamoten art but I couldn’t find a place to fit him in this post so this is just a footnote

As I’ve mentioned at the beginning, Sakura is portrayed with motifs related to water. The only exception is when he’s first shown to team up with Sugishita as both of them have flames rage in the backdrop. Perhaps fire (in a rather ironic sense) symbolizes an inherent connection to Bofurin and it’s students/allies.

Since fire is connected to Furin, Sakura being represented with motifs related to water merely solidifies his status as an outsider. Fire and water have always been considered opposites, both thematically and in the real world.

This theme is especially prevalent during the Noroshi arc. When Sakura discovers Tsubaki’s collapsed body and has his dead wife flashback likens it to Nirei in KEEL, we see a large volume water douse him in order to illustrate his shock.

In the next page we see Sakura begin to sink in a body of water, hinting at his slow mental decline during his fight with Endo. It also symbolizes how unsure and insecure he is, as Sakura thinks of his peers advice and thoughts.

Though, the thought of his community by itself manages to pull Sakura back up and focus on Endo again, but this moment foreshadows what is about to come of Sakura’s fight with Endo.

When Endo digs into Sakura’s insecurities, Sakura loses himself—and drowns as snakes (representing Endo) pull him even deeper into the water.

What makes this symbolism especially cruel is the fact that Sakura doesn’t know how to swim. He’s unable resurface on his own (both literally and in a metaphorical sense), having to rely on his peers to help him—though Endo makes it out to be Sakura dragging his friends down instead.

Sakura does eventually come back up and defeats Endo—and indirectly reaffirms Ume to win his fight with Chika. Additionally, Bofurin would’ve been in much more trouble if Sakura had never contact their allies to assist in the war. In a way, maybe water (Sakura) managed to douse the Great Fires of Extinction (Noroshi).

Sakura being the water to Umemiya/Endo/Chika/Furin’s fire also makes Hashirao’s connection of Sakura and that trio implausible and ironic.

This brings us back to Chapter 184, in which he doesn’t come in direct contact with the river of Makoichi. Instead, it reflects off of him.

Throughout his conversation with Natsuki, he divulges his own feelings to her in order to put them on an equal emotional footing. He reflects on his past experiences in the process, many of which involved him grappling with similar emotions as Natsuki.

It’s important to note that Sakura and Natsuki converse near the bridge where the Noroshi vs Bofurin war had begun. Despite the battle being difficult for Sakura (as his and fears insecurities were brought to the forefront in the arc) and water having a general connotation to his negative emotions, Sakura is able to accept his fears and divulge them when needed.

Bonus: Sakura is able to differentiate the taste between certain types of water. He’s either sensitive to flavor, or he’s accustomed to noticing the differences in something as plain as water (I assume had to drink from various sources of water due to his neglect). Kid’s had it rough growing up

[eyeslemontea]

wbk 184 spoilers

fav panel. fav scene. the way he comforts her is just so sakura. IT'S JUST SO HIM. it's a side of him that he is now able to show because of all the love he's gotten from the people at makochi, because he's learnt that he too is allowed to love and be loved. so of course, of course he is extending that warmth to someone who needs it just as much as he does, because he can instinctively sense that she's in that same space that he was at one point —when we was yet to make that jump, scary but all the more necessary.

and the way he's so gentle about it, empathizing with and validating her fear, all the while telling her to still give it a chance. he doesn't force his thoughts on her, not only because it'll only corner her further, but also because that's just. not something he would do. instead, he poses it as a suggestion, as something she can always opt out of — "and if by the end of it all, you still want to be alone, then you do you". but, she won't know the answer to this unless she tries first, so he urges her to do just that—

"it's not too late to make your decision after you've got to know these people in the town".

it's okay if it doesn't work out, but you have to be willing to try first. unless she takes the first step, she will forever be stagnant in that state, her heart will continue to rot and eat away at itself like sakura's did till he found the people here.

[eyeslemontea]

Spoilers for WBK Chapter 184

The way I ADORE that we're getting the continuation of the cycle of the captains of Tamon-ten having the "You're scared, and that's okay. Just take the time to get to know the others first and don't make assumptions before doing so."

Like, I feel like we knew as soon as Natsuki got her first panel we saw that this was where is was going, but it's still so wonderful to see unfold. I also love continuing seeing the DIFFERENCES in Umemiya vs Sakura and how they approach connecting with others. Because my GOD Umemiya is an unstoppable force. He is SO fucking much. But that's how he got through to people before. That's how he was able to convince all the other stubbornly independent high schoolers to be his friend and support his dream. He inserts himself and shows that he is unwavering. But the fact still stands that he is. A lot.

In comparison, Sakura and Kaji both have similar perspectives of, "No, we're not claiming anything of the sort for you". They're not going to call each other brothers, they're not going to tell you you have to be one big family. But, They ARE going to tell you how they see things. And they're honest. They do care. Immensely.

There's no sugar coating, there's no painting it like this perfect little picture of a big happy family. I think it's so funny and so true to Sakura that he still even says the people of the town are annoying and pushy and weird. It also kind of feels similar to how Anzai approached the class's response to Sakura's apology. When he went "Yeah, you are awkward and clumsy and will keep making mistakes. Who cares? We love you."

But he still doesn't tell her that she should just accept their love. He even says she can absolutely decide she wants to be alone. But she shouldn't be hasty in deciding that until after she sees what it's like. To get to know them. To hear the others out. To give it time to think on and process. Then, it is entirely her right to decide whatever she feels is right for her. But without letting her fear decide for her.

This chapter just felt like such a culmination of everything Sakura's learned and how he's grown as a sponge of everything that's happened or has been said to him in this town. It also keeps consistently making me cry week to week. It just feels so much like Sakura talking to his child self. He's still healing and growing, but now he's in a place where he can help others who are scared and traumatized like he was heal and grow as well.

[eyeslemontea]

I LOVE CHARACTER GROWTH!!!

[eyeslemontea]

he. I knew he was alive. but like I can't even be completely happy about it. that was just. I can't.