facades-and-falsehopes-blog - Tumblr blog

[facades-and-falsehopes-blog]

TAGGING: Santana Lopez & Cooper Anderson

LOCATION: Barney’s Cafe, Chicago

TIMEFRAME: March 14th, 2013

NOTES: Santana & Cooper meet for the first time.

COOPER:

At her reaction to his small talk, his second eyebrow shot up as well, surprised at her reaction at attempting to make nice. Girls sure were different in the city than in the suburbs. Usually women fell in line to talk to him and he had not gotten a single number the entire day. What was this? It felt as though he was in some alternate reality where women were immune to his charms; well, at least this one seemed to be. If she wanted him to “cut the shit,” he would. He could be honest about everything, though she probably would not really care about his story. In his experience, everyone had their own baggage and everyone had a story. He rarely talked about his considering how he was the golden boy in a wealthy family until about two weeks prior to meeting the woman. She didn’t need to know. At least not right then. “Uh…” He cleared his throat before speaking again. “Well, if I’m being forreals, I’m kinda new in town and don’t have any friends,” he admitted. “Now, I’m sure you don’t want to hear about any of that, but you know, I figured that considering how I’ve been here a week and haven’t talked to many peeps, you could be the first person I tried to get to know.” He shrugged nonchalantly, standing up from the table considering how it appeared as though she was already finished.

As he walked back to the register to give her the check for the meal and the coffee, he continued to smile. He was hardly phased by her blunt manor considering how it took some sort of malice to really get him down; she was defensive, but not hateful. Upon returning, he continued to smile as he set the check down on the table. As he stood before her, he raised an eyebrow playfully. “Look, you know how hot you are. I’m not here to tell you that. But I think you’re the most interesting person who’s walked in this joint all day and I’m just… looking for some conversation.” He shrugged before looking at the clock, making note of what time it was. When his eyes returned to hers, he continued to wear his smirk proudly. “So, I think I cut the shit enough. I’m an actor who’s just trying to get by right now. I’m kinda pretty so the ladies and gays leave me real nice tips.” He shrugged once more, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “That good enough for ya, miss?” Considering how it was the truth, he hoped it was.

SANTANA: Paying attention as the beautiful man before her spoke, Santana shook her head. As if this guy had no friends. He was totally lying and it was all part of his pathetic little ploy to lure her in. They all did it. Every guy she'd ever met had some pathetic story about how it was they were in the same place as her, what had brought them to be in that place. The first couple of times, Santana had actually believed them resulting in a one night stand and a cold, empty bed in the morning. She had to give them credit though. Even she wouldn't have gone to the effort some of them had just to get laid. "Ah okay" she commented sarcastically, saying nothing more as the man whisked himself away to grab her bill. It was almost perfect timing. It spared her from hearing more of his bullshit and she'd make it to work on time.

Sighing loudly when Cooper reappeared by her side and continued rambling something about them both being pretty and him thinking she was interesting, Santana took out her purse. "That's a very touching story" she said, pausing momentarily "but i've met a lot of people just like you. You play it cool, you give me some bullshit story about how you don't have a job and you're family hates you. You beg for my attention and when I finally give in, you take me home, fuck me and leave before I even wake up. I know how it goes. Hell, I do it too, but right now I really don't have time". Placing her money in the black book where her bill was, Santana looked at the man, pity somewhat taking over. "Here" she said, offering the man a ten dollar tip. "Don't spend it all at once". Winking at the man as she walked her way out of Barney's, Santana took a deep breath. She hadn't really believed a single word he'd said, but if it wasn't for the fact she was headed to work right now, she'd be fucking him in a half hour and the thought was a lot more appealing than it should have been.

I Knew You Were Trouble | Cooptana Flashback

[facades-and-falsehopes-blog]

PHONE CALLS ☎ SANTANA & COOPER

COOPER: At the idea of creating a porno with her, he smirked, thinking a home movie starring the two might not be such a bad idea. At the least, the two could improve their respective techniques considering how physical their relationship was, though slowly but surely it was becoming more and more "real" in his eyes. Cooper smiled as she offered to come over; the idea itself made him quite happy. The idea that she wanted to protect him as much as he wanted to protect her made him smile a little wider as he nodded in agreement with the idea. "That sounds great, baby... I can't wait to see you. You know, uh... I know things are kinda hard sometimes and I can't really take you out, but I like you and uh... Like I said, I really can't wait to see you." With that, he swallowed hard as he looked back up on his ceiling, hoping that it was okay to say that; he never knew with her whether a comment went too far in regards to affection.

SANTANA: It took a moment for Santana to really register Cooper's words, but when she did her instinctive side automatically took over. Straight away she wanted to make a disgusted sound into the receiver, but stopped herself. She had never been good with this cutesy stuff, it's why she was determined to steer clear of relationships. Thinking carefully about what she said next, Santana smiled to herself. "I know what you mean Coops and I kinda wanna see you a little too. As lame as it sounds, sometimes I find myself thinking about you a lot more than I should". It was true. More often than not she found herself wondering what he was doing during certain parts of her day and when they weren't together he'd be the first thought on her mind when she woke and the last before she slept. "I still stand by my belief that you've bewitched me. I'm almost like obsessed with you" she laughed, half jokingly, half serious. "Listen babe, I gotta go. I've already gone over my break time which I'm gonna hear about for the rest of the night, but I'll see you later, okay?".

[facades-and-falsehopes-blog]

PHONE CALLS ☎ SANTANA & COOPER

COOPER: He relished the sound of her voice in his ear, even if they were simply talking about things like her job, something that he did not particularly care for considering how much she hated it. "Hey, c'mon... Takes time and auditions have been kinda rough this week. Not much going on next week. But, you know, I'm trying." He shrugged, liking the idea of running off with her. "I can take a powernap and be there to get you when you close up shop... You can spend the night here. Not as nice as your place, but you could stay here and stuff tonight. Maybe we can look at jobs tomorrow when you come in to the cafe." He looked on to his blank wall before frowning at his broken fan; he really did need to replace that to sleep easier. "But yeah, I can pick you up and stuff. If you need me, I can try to get some of those dudes off you, ya know?" All he really wanted was for her to be happy; hopefully he was someone who could help her out with that.

SANTANA: Smiling as he spoke, Santana stood and listened. "You don't need to do that babe. I know you're tired and stuff. You gotta look your best for these auditions, though I know you've nailed them all". Santana couldn't stand watching Cooper go to audition after audition and finding himself getting nowhere. Acting was his passion. He loved it more than anything in the world. "All the stars now days make pornos to get their name out there and stuff, maybe we could do one of those" she teased. When Cooper reiterated picking her up, she shook her head despite the fact he couldn't see it. "Tell you what. You have your power nap. When I finish up I'll head over to yours. I wouldn't mind falling asleep in your arms after tonight. You just make things seem... bearable. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you sometimes". It was true. Cooper was her rock. "I'd rather you stay home anyway. I don't want some douchenozzle glassing you for being the lucky one to take me home". Santana smirked. She loved whatever it was they had. One minute they could be all super serious and the next they were joking. He made her smile and that was more than she could say about anything else in her life.

[facades-and-falsehopes-blog]

PHONE CALLS ☎ SANTANA & COOPER

COOPER: The man frowned as he listened to her complain about her job, wondering if he should come up to the bar to try to comfort her, but figured that there was no place for him there while she was at work; he would only get her in trouble. Upon hearing her tone soften, he smiled accordingly. "Well, I miss you too, baby... I'll answer faster next time. Just looking at your pretty face on the screen." He smiled softly, as he lay down. "Just hanging here... Missing you like always."

SANTANA: Santana wasn't the kind of person who enjoyed sweet talk, but when she met Cooper, he'd brought out a side of her she'd never even known existed. Now the sweet talk was something she thrived off. It made her feel needed, yet still she was holding back. There was no way she was going to label what the two of them had, not now, not ever. It would ruin everything. "I really hate this job. Like, I can't even ask you to come get me. By the time I finish it's like 4am and you're already snoring. I want things to be like... normal, you know?". Putting out her cigarette with her foot, Santana sighed. "Baby, hurry up and get this acting gig so we can run off to LA together and I can be your mistress or something. I'm tired of doing this stupid bar shit. All I get are guys groping me all night and women bitching that i'm trying to take their men".

[facades-and-falsehopes-blog]

PHONE CALLS ☎ SANTANA & COOPER

COOPER: After flopping down on his pull-out bed, Cooper feels his phone buzzing in his pocket, hoping that it's not someone from his family trying to get in touch with him. Upon seeing Santana's face illuminate the screen, he smiles softly and accepts the call before holding the phone up to his ear. "Well, hello, pretty baby. I thought you were working." His face stayed cheerful as he tried to be sweet to her, having missed her since he left her apartment that day.

SANTANA: "Talk about taking your time" she responded, slightly annoyed that he'd taken longer to answer then she'd have liked. She only had a fifteen minute break and he'd probably just used up five. "I am working. I'm taking a time out. Shit's insane here tonight. Some guy got glassed. The cops came... sometimes I just fucking hate this job. Why can't I be like everyone else, working in an office or something". Pausing a moment to take a breath, Santana sucked at her cigarette. "I miss you" she offered, her voice softer now. "What are you up to tonight?".

[facades-and-falsehopes-blog]

TAGGING: Santana Lopez & Cooper Anderson

LOCATION: Barney’s Cafe, Chicago

TIMEFRAME: March 14th, 2013

NOTES: Santana & Cooper meet for the first time.

COOPER:

With her attempting to point out the fact that Cooper had not brought out her food yet, all he could do was smile; some people may have been annoyed by the supposedly rude comment, but not him. Only few things truly bothered him; someone wanting him to do his job was hardly one of them. “Ah, they ring a little bell when it’s all done and stuff. They have to make it, you know,” he said with a wink. “They told me that this morning and I don’t really want to annoy them, so… talkin’ with you’s a lot more fun, don’t you think?”And right as the words left his lips, he heard the ding. Smile intact, he stood back up and walked back over towards the kitchen, thanking the man behind the counter before bringing the food back to her. “You need anything else? Hope I didn’t mess that up… Been using that little notepad just in case. Never been a waiter before, but the remembering orders part doesn’t really seem so hard,” he shrugged, realizing he was rambling on about something she most likely cared little about. Instead, he tried to change the topic of the conversation to something more relevant to her. Making friends had always been easy for him; hopefully befriending Santana would be just as nice. Clearing his throat as he relaxed across from her in the booth, he smiled. “So… Where you working that you’re heading in at, like, five or something?” He had to admit, he was happy to be talking to someone again for fun; he had been rather lonely since he had arrived in Chicago. Being a starving artist was as romantic as he thought about before leaving his family.

Continuing on, he crossed his legs underneath the table, accidentally banging his knee against the underside as his attempt at being smooth failed miserably. “Pretend you didn’t see that,” he joked before continuing on. “You, like, work at a club or something?” He raised an eyebrow at his own question, quite curious to know more about the woman. She was gorgeous enough: so what was her story? What brought her into the diner? Was she a regular? Would he see her again? There were so many questions that Cooper had hoped he would be able to find out about subtly as their conversation went on. Perhaps for the first time since moving, he would feel as though he had a friend, though in all seriousness he realized it would probably be another friendly face he chatted up for a while before he lost touch with them forever. Perhaps if they got along, she would come back, or he could get her number. Hell, maybe she would find him charming enough to give him her number without him having to really ask. All Cooper knew was that in front of him was one of the most attractive women he had ever seen; he sure wasn’t going to let this friendship fizzle out so soon.

SANTANA:

Taking a piece of banana bread from her plate as Cooper offered it to her, Santana took a small bite. If there was one thing she'd noticed about Cooper, it was that he tended to ramble. She didn't know him well enough yet to assume it was a force of habit though, it could have just been nerves talking. She'd come across this type of behaviour before. Dabbing at the corner of her mouth with a napkin, Santana took a sip of her espresso, ensuring she'd swallowed her food before attempting to respond. "I work at The Office" she offered, not willing to give out too much information. She still had no idea who this guy was or what he wanted, but the way he cosied himself up in the booth opposite her made her think he definitely had some kind of motive. "I start at five". Taking another small bite, Santana stared at Cooper. Where was he going with this? He no doubt finished work in a half hour or so, was he sussing it out so he could follow her to work and hang around until she knocked off. It wouldn't be surprising. Guys in this day and age were all about sex. Nothing more, nothing less. 

Letting out an uncontrollable laugh when Cooper banged his knee beneath the table, Santana shook her head. "Table there" she stated matter of factly, covering her mouth having learnt quite early in life that it was rude to talk with your mouth full. "It's a bar. The Office. It's a pretty cool name. The owner said something about people wishing they worked in an office that supplied alcohol for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Originally it was Bar 101. Owner wanted a change. Something intriguing". Looking over at Cooper, his eyes seemingly curious, she pushed her plate to the centre of the table unable to eat anymore. "I'm surprised. Not many people ever get my order right and you're the new kid. Props to you". When the male didn't respond, Santana leaned on the table before her, her head in her hands. "Cut the shit Cooper. I see the way you're looking at me and normally when I come here, waiters don't offer themselves a seat at my table, nor do they attempt small talk, so tell me, what is it you want from me?" she questioned. She knew she was coming off incredibly abrupt. But that's who she was. She was a no shit kinda girl and no one would change that. "I'm waiting".

I Knew You Were Trouble | Cooptana Flashback

[facades-and-falsehopes-blog]

PHONE CALLS ☎ SANTANA & COOPER

SANTANA: Walking outside the bar, Santana took out a cigarette. She didn't smoke often, but tonight was just one of those nights. Dialling Cooper's number - though it was on speed dial - Santana propped herself against a brick wall in the back alley. Listening as the phone rung once, twice, three times, she sighed. She needed him to pick up. She wouldn't normally call him on her break, but something told her she just needed to hear his voice. "Pick up Coops, come on" she muttered to herself as the phone continued to ring.

[facades-and-falsehopes-blog]

TAGGING: Santana Lopez & Cooper Anderson

LOCATION: Barney’s Cafe, Chicago

TIMEFRAME: March 14th, 2013

NOTES: Santana & Cooper meet for the first time.

COOPER:

He moved to Chicago with virtually nothing. Born silver spoon in hand, Cooper Anderson for once in his life essentially had no material possessions, or friends in his new city, or family, really. After leaving his family, it caused quite a stir; wanting to be a self-made man in a family who thought he was essentially useless was somewhat difficult of a thing to go through. All he really had anymore was his car, a box of clothes, a pay-as-you-go mobile phone, and a few toiletries. There was hardly any luxury in his life anymore. Being cut off from his family meant no longer receiving the benefits of being an Anderson: money. His wealth was no more. All he really had was a few thousand dollars in savings and about twenty dollars in his checking account. He needed income and he needed it fast. Upon arriving in the Windy City, the first thing he did was rent the cheapest studio apartment he could find. To get that, he sold his car. He could walk around Chicago and get a bus pass; they couldn’t be that expensive considering how poor people use public transit.

His first goal was to get a job: he had bills to pay now. So, the job search lasted about a week before he found a diner willing to pay him minimum wage plus the tips he made. With his charm, surely people would be generous with said tips. Being a college dropout did not necessarily help his job hunt, but his appearance and manners sure did. Surprisingly, Cooper Anderson could be humble when he chose to be. When the manager at Barney’s hired him, he started the next day. He wanted to get right to work so he could stop sleeping on the floor of his apartment. Having a bed once again would be nice. Luckily for him his first day turned out to be decent; he was trained quickly so he could start working, his employers having somewhat of an idea just how badly he needed this job. People were kind, for the most part; having a pretty face really did help in the service industry. But, his first day was good for more than just that reason: towards the end of his shift there was a woman. God, she was beautiful. Granted, she wasn’t in his section, but he managed to sway one of the other servers that getting to relax and punch out early was far more worth it than a few extra bucks. It was all apart of the Anderson charm, he supposed.

As he reached the table, he greeted her with the warmest smile he could muster up: it was hardly difficult considering her surprised reaction. It was nice to have someone boosting his ego a bit considering how bad the last week had been. It was nice to feel like his old self for a bit. He stayed silent as she ordered, continuing to grin before giving her a polite nod, not saying anything more. As Cooper turned back, he smiled his usual sheepish grin, almost teasing her with his stolen glances as he took her order back to the kitchen. Upon giving the kitchen the order, he went to go make her espresso, hoping that he had gotten everything correct after writing it down; her face was awfully distracting. Considering how the restaurant was essentially empty and the restaurant was mostly cleaned up, everyone ready for the day to end, Cooper walked back over to the young woman’s booth and gave her another hearty smile, setting the drink down on the counter.”You’re by far the best customer I’ve had all day,” he asserted, continuing to stand before her. “Look, we’re basically the only two people in here… how ‘bout I keep you company for a while?” Quickly, he realized he had not introduced himself properly yet, despite having a name tag on his shirt. “I’m Cooper… Cooper Anderson.” Slowly, he extended his hand to her, trying to be polite. “Pleasure to meet ya, miss.”

SANTANA:

Watching as the man worked the coffee machine, Santana couldn't help but stare. On a few occasions the blue eyed man caught her and she had to look away, pretending it wasn't him she was staring at. The man was fascinating. How could someone like him be working in a tiny ass cafe in Chicago. Guys like him were models, actors, people who weren't caught dead in cafes that were accumulating cobwebs on the roof and whose once white tiles were now an awful shade of yellow, having not been cleaned for god knows how long. Shaking her head free of her thoughts, Santana cleared her throat as her approached her, coffee in hand. "Thank you" she said as he placed the espresso before her, the waft of freshly ground coffee beans creeping their way into her nostrils. Taking a sip of her coffee, Santana had to roll her eyes when the the man threw a compliment at her. She'd heard them all. She was so used to ridiculous pick up lines that she tended to ignore them when ever they were tossed out. When the man referred to them as the only people in the shop, she scanned the room quickly. He was right. The man who was by the counter when she walked in had long since gone. Santana had a feeling that regardless of what she responded, the man was going to keep her company anyway, so smiling politely, Santana looked the man in the eyes extending her hand to meet his. "Pleasure to meet you too, Cooper Anderson. I'm Santana".

When Cooper slipped into the seat opposite her, she couldn't help but laugh. He had been so carried away with introducing himself to her he'd forgotten the most important thing: her food. "Cooper, I don't mean to be rude, but I would like to eat before I head off to work" she chuckled, unable to keep the smile from her face. "The coffee's good though" she said, as he rushed off back to the kitchen. She had to give this guy credit. More often than not, the only people who ever approached her were those drunken, slurring jackasses in the bar who wanted to take her home when she got off work. It was unusual for a normal guy to pay interest, especially one as attractive as him. Sipping at her espresso as she waited, Santana found herself thinking about work. Right now all she wanted to do was just go home and go back to bed. It was hard working at a bar. Not only were the hours awful, but the people employed there barely ever showed up and if they did they were kicked back out the door for turning up intoxicated or being incredibly late. When that happened - which was almost every shift - Santana would be the one asked to cover. Apparently she was the only reliable one there and she hated it. One day she'd get away from it all. It was a promise she'd made to herself. First she had to find herself a sugar daddy. Laughing to herself, Santana looked over at the register, it seemed the newbie had managed to get her food after all.

I Knew You Were Trouble | Cooptana Flashback

[facades-and-falsehopes-blog]

I Knew You Were Trouble | Cooptana Flashback

TAGGING: Santana Lopez & Cooper Anderson

LOCATION: Barney's Cafe, Chicago

TIMEFRAME: March 14th, 2013

NOTES: Santana & Cooper meet for the first time.

Santana: Whilst working as a bartender had it's perks sometimes, it also had it's downfalls. Unlike other jobs it meant that Santana slept the days away and spent her nights working. She couldn't really complain though. A lot of the people she served were well off, so more often than not she'd walk out of the place with over one hundred dollars in tips. She was good at her job - then again when she spent the night in low cut tops, waving her assets around in people's faces, it was hard to tell. Chances were she could get away with serving the world's worst cocktail, so long as her boobs were visible. None of that really mattered though. At the end of the day it was a job that paid the bills, and that was what was important.

Rubbing her eyes as her alarm clock sounded, Santana peeked at the time - three o'clock. She always got up an hour early allowing herself time to get ready and enough time to stop by her favourite cafe for a bite to eat before heading to the bar. Sitting herself upright reluctantly, Santana let out a defeated sigh. In just a few short hours the sun would begin setting and she'd only just be getting to work while everyone else was finishing for the day. It was hardly an ideal lifestyle for a girl of her age, but she couldn't do much about it. She needed to pay buy groceries, pay rent and do all that other shit that adult's did and without work at The Office, she'd wind up living in a card board box. Her taste was far too expensive for that. A girl like her couldn't go without her favourite brand names, the mere thought made her shudder.

After a quick shower, Santana pulled on a skin tight black skirt and low cut top to match. The contract didn't say it, but during her brief stint at the bar over the last six months she'd learnt that boobs meant money. The more boob, the bigger the tip. Pulling on her 'fuck me' boots, Santana did a quick twirl in the mirror before throwing a coat around herself and making her way down the street to Barney's. It was easy living in the heart of Chicago, everything was close by. Lucky for her, her apartment was but a block away from work, and Barney's on the way making it easy for her to pop in for a quick bite before work - a routine she maintained on a daily basis. If it wasn't for Barney's and their delicious double espressos, Santana probably wouldn't make it through most nights at work, not when she didn't get home till four in the morning.

Pushing open the front door, Santana looked around. Barney's was quiet as usual, but then again they always were at this time of day. They generally closed shop at around five, so being four thirty it was no wonder she was one of the only customer's in store. Taking her regular seat in the booth by the window, Santana skimmed over the menu despite knowing exactly what she was going to order, looking up only when the waiter approached her table. Finally lifting her head, Santana was lost for words. Standing before her was someone she'd never seen before. He was strikingly tall and handsome, with bright blue eyes that glimmered in the last of the sunlight that danced it's way across the shop front. "I- hello" she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear self consciously. When the handsome stranger asked for her order, Santana took a deep breath. His beauty was intimidating and for a moment she almost forgot what it was she was ordering. "Sorry" she muttered clearing her throat nervously "I'll take a double espresso and a slice of banana bread... toasted... with butter". Handing the menu back to the man, Santana watched him curiously as he walked away practically chuckling to himself. Who was this guy. She was so used to being served by acne-riddled teens who always messed up her order that his face was a pleasant surprise. There was no doubt that this guy was new, but she wasn't going to complain.

[facades-and-falsehopes-blog]

TEXTS ✉ COOPER & SANTANA

COOPER: :) I do know that

COOPER: Be over in like... ten maybe

COOPER: Don't miss me too much ;)

SANTANA: Just hurry your ass up. It's cold and I'm tired.

[facades-and-falsehopes-blog]

TEXTS ✉ COOPER & SANTANA

COOPER: Okay now you sound mad......

COOPER: Like I'm trying and stuff but I can't read you sometimes

COOPER: I like you and wanna spend the night, but gimme a sign that you want that too or whatevs

SANTANA: I'm not mad, it's 4am. I need sleep. WE need sleep.

SANTANA: Come over. I have a feeling I won't get to sleep now unless someone's tickling my back. You know how I like that.

[facades-and-falsehopes-blog]

TEXTS ✉ COOPER & SANTANA

COOPER: I'll stay in tonight I guess. Don't wanna mess up your sleep schedule and stuff

SANTANA: Whatever.

[facades-and-falsehopes-blog]

TEXTS ✉ COOPER & SANTANA

COOPER: I mean you don't seem stoked for me to come over so

SANTANA: Babe, i'm not going to argue with you one way or the other. Come over, or don't.

[facades-and-falsehopes-blog]

TEXTS ✉ COOPER & SANTANA

COOPER: Maybe I should just stay here then

COOPER: Don't even act like that's better because you'd be a liiiiiaarrrr

SANTANA: Whatever you want to do, babe.

SANTANA: It's not better, but it's better than nothing at all.

[facades-and-falsehopes-blog]

TEXTS ✉ COOPER & SANTANA

COOPER: You're a mean baby tonight :(

COOPER: WITHHOLDING SEXY TIME UNTIL YOU ARE SWEET AGAIN

SANTANA: Might have a little to do with the lack of sleep lately?

SANTANA: That's fine. It's not like I don't have a hand... or a vibrator.

[facades-and-falsehopes-blog]

TEXTS ✉ COOPER & SANTANA

COOPER: Anyone who doesn't think you're sexy's got like brain issues or something

COOPER: If I promise to be haved will you let me come over? I'll try not to make you like me so much you wanna stay up the whole night smoochin ;)

SANTANA: Maybe you're the one with brain issues.

SANTANA: ... fine.

[facades-and-falsehopes-blog]

TEXTS ✉ COOPER & SANTANA

COOPER: No, cause you're super prettyful and don't have them :)

COOPER: We could stay in bed all day..... You're a bartender so that works.....

SANTANA: Yeah, right.

SANTANA: Staying in bed all day works, but when I rock up to work with those bags under my eyes, no one is gonna tip me. I make more in tips than I do anything else. I need boys to think I'm sexy.