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jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

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hi gang. reminder that we are some of the best sweaters in the animal kingdom (second only to equines) allowing us to stay cool and keep moving in hot weather. we have 10 times the density of sweat glands compared to other great apes.

we are ALSO insanely good at smelling rain (specifically geosmin, found in the soil and activated by rain) with the ability to smell 10 parts per trillion. this is speculated to have helped our ancestors survive!

we ALSO have absolutely batshit diets compared to most other animals. caffeine and chocolate are completely toxic to most animals but we can eat it without even feeling sick. even avocados are severely toxic to many animals to the point where it can be fatal to eat, but humans love it!!!

we are ALSO the best endurance runners ON EARTH out of ANY other species. we beat horses in endurance running. you know, the animals that gradually evolved away most of their toes in order to be the best runners?? yeahhh.

and to top it all off. our lifespan is unusually long for our species' weight/mass. typically, the bigger a species is, the longer its average lifespan (e.g. domestic mice live for 1-3 years, whales can live over 200) but we're very small for how long our average lifespan is. big cats like tigers live around 14-15 years, brown bears 25 years, yet here we are expected to live around 75-85 years. that is NUTS.

humans as a species are so extremely cool. it's not just our intellect that makes us amazing. we may not be the fastest or the strongest in the animal kingdom but we're super cool in many other ways. next time you sweat you can go wow!!! humans are so cool I'm able to keep moving because of my absolutely insane number of sweat glands! thank you evolution!

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I've been thinking of the "Can Granny Weatherwax beat Bugs Bunny" question and this is my full take for Discworld characters:

Vimes - Cares too much, too easy to piss off. Has the innate chase instinct that makes characters run into walls with realistic tunnels painted on them. Might get to arrest Bugs Bunny but the beast will just slip out of the handcuffs to help him lock them, then walk out of the jail cell to have a union mandated coffee break.

Ridcully - Classic hunting season scenario, but has enough charisma to probably still get a few good shots off before the inevitable.

Rest of the wizards - No survivors, only Bugs.

Carrot - The intense near-magical narrative aura of well meaning innocence should make him immune, Bugs will likely be forced to be the villain of the episode.

Lord Vetinari - Flattened by a comically large anvil in the first few minutes of the episode, unclear if it was all a part of his long term strategy or not.

Moist - Has the 'lovable trickster getting away with it' energy, but nowhere near Bugs level. Already fell for the "old lady who swallowed a fly" scenario with the stamp slugs once, won't fare any better here.

Death - Definitely one of those "character is trying to avoid death" episodes, would go back and forth. Might actually get to end Bugs but his spirit will reappear in Death's domain and ruin his garden.

Nanny Ogg - The ultimate in anti-Bugs technology, a gleefully annoying old lady who doesn't give a fuck and definitely won't be the first to instigate the plot bearing conflict. This is a full sweep, he's the episode antagonist.

Granny Weatherwax - Too win-motivated to not lose. Would have to break the story to have any chance. Might do it.

Magrat - Will have sappy ideas about helping the poor animal which honestly has the 50:50 chance of either getting slapsticked or Bugs ending in a ye olde stroller&pacifier gag.

Colon&Nobby - Designed in a lab to be totaled by Bugs Bunny.

Tiffany Aching - A child that also has a large pan that is the perfect thing to hit someone over the head with and make a BOIOIOINGGG sound, so great odds.

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Recently, I made a bold decision: I rented a modest but safe apartment, far from dangerous border areas, and enrolled my children in a private school so they could resume their education.

-UNICEF indicated that 625,000 school-aged children have been deprived of education for an entire year, with over 45,000 six-year-old children joining this crisis—putting them at risk of missing a second academic year.-(Source)

It was a real attempt to return to the bare minimum of a normal life—sleeping in beds, doing homework on desks, washing their hands in a real bathroom.

- According to a report published by The Guardian in September 2024, 90% of public schools in Gaza and all 12 universities have been damaged or destroyed due to Israeli bombardment.- (Source)

My son Adam, who is 6 years old, went to kindergarten for the first time. He saw toys and books he'd never seen before, and he didn’t want to leave. It was his first true moment of joy.

My name is Enas Majed, and I’m a Mother of four:

Layan, 11 years old, in 6th grade

Sarah, 9 years old, in 4th grade

Adam, 6 years old, in kindergarten

Amir, a 10-month-old baby, born during this war

The war robbed Layan and Sarah of a year and a half of schooling. That time is gone—and now we’re trying to make up for it. We can’t afford to lose this school year too, even if continuing their education feels like a risk.

Trying to provide both education and shelter during a war isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity for survival. Without it, my children’s future could disappear in the smoke and fear.

This month, I managed to cover:

Apartment rent: $700

School fees: $100

School supplies: $100

Today, I’m asking for your help to secure these basic needs for the next 6 months—covering $800 to $900 per month—for rent and continued education.

Over the past year and a half of war, we’ve spent all our savings just to survive—on food, shelter, and fleeing from danger.

All that remains is a small amount with my brother abroad, saved to help us possibly emigrate to a safe country—our only hope for long-term survival.

Your support isn’t just a donation—it’s a lifeline. A way to protect a family, give four children a chance to learn, and keep a roof over their heads in one of the most dangerous places on earth.

Your help keeps us standing. Your compassion helps us stay human.

Thank you for standing with us.

The campaign link on GoFundMe for anyone who wants to contribute to my children's education ❤️‍🩹

My campaign has been verified ~ vetted by @/gazavetters number #644

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Do u know what's DISGUSTING? It's when you have to remove insects from the only loaf of bread you're allowed to eat each day, but to make fun of ourselves, we call these insects "free protein." And as the saying goes, when you're hungry, your mind shuts down. Now I cover my nose when eating a loaf of bread so I don't smell it, and I avoid looking at it so I don't see the insects...

But that's not important, there's worse. Malnutrition is starting to affect my 6 y.old sister, as intestinal worms are eating away at her body from the inside out and destroying her health. So, I'm appealing to you all to donate so I can buy a clean bag of flour for $570 and provide treatment for her. She's slowly dying... Or by paypal

My campaign has been verified.

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I'ma just leave these here for like... *Cough* Research purposes and such.

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Sir Terry Pratchett awakens. A skeleton stands at his bedside, wearing a long black robe. He sits up. “Well, hang on, let me get my hat,” he tells it.

The skeleton reaches into its robe. From abyssal depths it produces a heavy book bound in sheets of lead and night. It is the kind of book that gets stolen by a rugged adventurer from a temple with more spike-traps than the average house of worship contains. It is the kind of book to which the word “tome” might properly be applied. Frost forms on its pages from the lingering chill of the void. 

The skeleton coughs once and holds the book out to the man sitting on the bed.

WOULD YOU SIGN THIS? it asks. BIG FAN.

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it’s kind of incredible how much pixar has backpedaled over the last couple of years, from the standpoint of character design 

these were the kind of characters designs they had when they did their first movie with humans as their main cast 

despite being cg all of the characters are visually distinct from each other and they look like 2d figures translated into a 3d environment

now it’s just???

all their human characters kind of lack that visual distinction and they’re all just? cute? 

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Mad as Hell is SoulMuppet Publishing’s upcoming TTRPG of resistance, community and anti-capitalist demonhunting, coming to Kickstarter in May 2025.

The excesses and hidden violence of our current society create wounds in the world from which demons emerge that hunt the vulnerable. In Mad as Hell, you play as a Radical, individuals who have decided, with the backing of their Communities, to fight demons and make the world a better place.

The only way to kill demons is to understand what quiet violence created them in the first place, work out how to solve that problem, and turn it into a weapon. You might kill a demon of mouldy water with a purifier, or a demon of bigotry with a pride flag. Unless you address the root cause of the problem, the wound in the world will continue to fester, and the demon will be reborn, free to wreak havoc. To defeat the demon truly, you need to make meaningful social change in your communities and help those around you.

The game is intended to create a safe, lightly fictionalised environment for aspiring and current activists to become familiar with the methods used in community organisation and direct action. It helps provide a structure that mimics the real-world approaches to tackling injustice through a radical lens, and takes action against capitalism.

The world is dying, choking in heat and smoke and microplastics. And that's not an inevitable thing, an impossible to overcome thing, it's a choice being made. People with power, who have made pacts with the forces of horror in our world, have made an ideological decision. They have done it before, they will do it again. They'll do it every single time, unless we stop them.

It's time to get MAD AS HELL.

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mē, tangō leviter Miētte cum latus pedīs meī: Miētta, dēmovēre ut nōn incurrere in tē

Miētte, cum oculōs ēius magnōs: tū CALITRĀS Miētte? tū calitrās corpus ēius sīcut follis? ēheu! ēheu! carcer prō Mātre! carcer prō Mātre prō Singula Mīlla Annōs!!!!

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Reminder to self:

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Several documentaries publically treating Luigi Mangione as guilty before his trial even started got released over the past 2 months.

Here's the billion dollar companies behind them.

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beauty and the beast is an incredibly tragic tale from the pov of the heroine, an enthusiastic monsterfucker who accidentally ends up in love with Just Some Guy

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HEY GUYS!!

GUYS!!!

FRANCE HAS REACHED THE REQUIRED NUMBER OF SIGNATURES ON THE CITIZEN'S INITIATIVE AGAINST CONVERSION THERAPY IN THE EU!!

ONE COUNTRY DOWN, SIX TO GO!!

We also need still quite a few signatures in order to reach the one million required.

As to date, the six other countries with the most signatures are:

Spain - 38.72%

Finland - 30.31%

Ireland - 24.86%

Netherlands - 24.15%

Germany - 23.54%

Belgium - 23.09%

So yeah, still a long way to go, but we ARE slowly getting closer. Don't stop now! Don't let this stay within the community, either, if you have any friends or family who are open to queer rights, get them to sign, too!

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If you still need an Airbnb type rental for your family vacation, here's some alternatives

Vrbo

Booking.com

Vacasa

Hipcamp

FlipKey

HomeToGo

Have fun!

-fae