faillen - Tumblr blog

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body paintings by Karen Turner

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"came back wrong" but it's food that you heated up in the microwave

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when i started my last director job at a university, they told me one of my duties would be to write all the chancellor’s letters. me: “cool. but why though?” them: “English isn’t the chancellor’s first language.” me: “I’m aware of that.” them: “the chancellor likes the suggestions that autocorrect gives him if he misspells something.” me: “Ah.” them: hands me a copy of a letter the chancellor sent to a donor who had just given a million-dollar gift to the university, which includes the following: ‘The profundity of your gift fills us with the greatest horror. In recognition we have prepared a special plague to compromise you and your family’. 

Which is why to this day when I’m struggling to communicate in a different language, i remember the chancellor, who was Doing His Best, and i try to give myself a break.

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I mean, I don't want to sound stupid, but I always assumed that the Ancient Romans were mammals

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when I see something dated 2019 I think “oh that’s not too long ago” and then I remember that 2019 was not only five years ago but those five years have somehow contained several lifetimes

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*goes to Coachella in a white linen suit like an antebellum lawyer, sweating profusely and dabbing at my forehead with a handkerchief* now, I’m no fancy scientist, but would you folk know where a simple gentleman such as myself could obtain some acid? Now, I’m no big city lawyer, but could any of you fine youths point a country boy such as myself in the direction of some fucking acid?

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you never truly appreciate good internet unless you have bad internet

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some of my favorite comments from dev patel for the monkey man AMA he did on reddit recently! x

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genuinely one of the worst things that’s happened to television in the last few years (exacerbated by streaming services) is death of Filler. going from 20 episodes to 8 because “we didn’t really need that episode where the main characters went to the beach right? it had no long lasting effect” but we DID!!! we needed to see how they act without the Big Bad Plot and to establish the dynamics between the characters and lay in the sun (do they forget sunscreen? how do they react to a thieving seagull? do they get buried in the sand or do they do the burying?). the plot isn’t everything. the action doesn’t hit as hard without the quiet moments. give us character development and our little scenes back

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I am having the worst gay fever I’ve had in months, maybe years. My eyes are watering, I can’t stop sniffling, even the meds aren’t helping. Surely, I will soon perish.

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welcome to the Murdersex zine, a zine celebrating all things sex and murder. but um. we don't want to romanticize it or anything so don't make your submissions too murdersexy. we will do extensive background checks on all applicants and if we decide a past work of yours has too much sexy murder we'll have to remove you, sorry. we have limits, you know, we want a tasteful gory spread you could put on your coffee table, and having the Wrong people in it would kill the vibe (and we condemn all killing! wholeheartedly!)

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Did you guys know that the most recent version of sharks have fins that are kinda leg like and they like to walk up onto land?

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I sign it from Gorgug. I forget how to be myself all the time.

I love the resolution of this that we got because I love Gorgug but also consider: any of these kids talking to each other even a little bit about their problems.

There’s just something about that moment when you realise that the decisions you make due to your own self-confidence issues impact the people you care about. Realising when you forget to be yourself, your friends who love you miss out on you too. And maybe you could even try to give yourself a break, for them. Idk man this season is going crazy and all i can do is draw pictures about it