fairestbeard

[fairestbeard]

CARMY-SUBTRACTION AS SELF-HARM

A brief analysis of Tomorrow. Part 1/?

So you know, at the beginning of Tomorrow, after the first scene with Chef David, and he says, "subtract, that's how you get better."

That's what Carmy did the whole season:

Subtract, meaning to take away.

My God, I can't even begin. Maybe after I revise the rest of the episodes. I haven't seen the show since the first time I watched s3, I'm not going to lie, I really didn't have a good time. But I am starting to figure out why.

This is a season of self-destruction

tw: dark imagery

Carmy not only ignored his team's input, but was also emotionally disconnected from everybody he worked with. From Richie, Sydney, Nat, Tina and his uncle. One of the first scenes in Tomorrow is him taking away their menu, which Sydney contributed to.

I cannot help but remember Carmy saying it was Claire the one who told him to forget some items of the menu, items he and Sydney had already agreed on, and Carmy said: "She made me realise there are things I don't even really care about" again, another way of substraction, because we know he was exited about this things. Maybe I am too inspired by this fucking amazing post by @fairestbeard but thinking about how even Claires presence never helped Carmy to be more him, if anything, he expended their first date pretending to be a different person. Not a good look.

This season was Carmy subtracting every element of his being. He surrenders to the Michelin star standards that caused him so much pain, because he is trying to prove to his abuser that he doesn't deserve abuse. It is a perfect metaphor for self-destruction. He is no different from a kid who studies so much that he doesn't have a social life, or an athlete who repeatedly injures himself to achieve a score.

It's incredible that the editing and sound choices in Tomorrow, the peaceful sky before, are now so menacing. Carmy tribes for perfection, and yet kicks the things in his way. He wants to fix it, and burn it down, so much as himself. He looks at his wound, his face is dark, and his identity is lost.

[fairestbeard]

One small detail I'm obsessed with in the apartment scene is how Carmy writes in blue

Syd writes in red

But in between them is a random scribble in purple which crowns Carmy's head and face at the pasta scene. And they are also on the other side of each other's scribbles.

In color theory,

blue + red = purple.

[fairestbeard]

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Thanks 🙏

[fairestbeard]

Can't even take you seriously with that hotep ahh definition of black and what is unemphatic about saying I understand why it feels offensive but maybe that wasn't her intention? Calling her a token black already sums up what you really do feel about her.

So I'll just say this.

Maybe you should delete the blog. Because Ayo isn't your guy. She'll never be your guy. She'll never walk the tightrope that people like you want her to walk to be acceptable to you. She will be human. She will have blind spots. And she will fuck up.

There.

i love ayo but the crack joke she made pissed me off so bad i almost deleted this entire blog. non Black americans stop making light of the crack epidemic challenge like its easy to hehehe haha when it didn’t directly affect you as a child of immigrants. that shit was so fucking wack of her and to have these white people laughing at “crack gave us funk” is just so beyond fucking disrespectful. easily her worst moment and i hope it doesn’t go any lower than this. this is what happens when you get chosen to be the token Black i guess. she lost so much fucking respect from me like what a low fucking blow/punching down on crack addicts and Black Americans extremely fraught relationship with it to only be met with like a fucking chuckle from a white man. that was NOT funny.

[fairestbeard]

She IS black!!!!!! But she's not African American so her view of crack is probably different, yes. However, I doubt that she made that joke in jest of black Americans in particular even though I understand how that might come off the wrong way to some black Americans.

Part of dealing with societal issues/trauma is to make jest of it but I agree the optics may be wonky with mostly white people being the audience and all. Hopefully it's a learning curve.

i love ayo but the crack joke she made pissed me off so bad i almost deleted this entire blog. non Black americans stop making light of the crack epidemic challenge like its easy to hehehe haha when it didn’t directly affect you as a child of immigrants. that shit was so fucking wack of her and to have these white people laughing at “crack gave us funk” is just so beyond fucking disrespectful. easily her worst moment and i hope it doesn’t go any lower than this. this is what happens when you get chosen to be the token Black i guess. she lost so much fucking respect from me like what a low fucking blow/punching down on crack addicts and Black Americans extremely fraught relationship with it to only be met with like a fucking chuckle from a white man. that was NOT funny.

[fairestbeard]

I just gasped right now because...

What if this statement was also a message for us?

Keep thinking about it, in the sense that they are about to attempt to make us forget? Make us jump ship? It might be in regards to The Beef, sydcarmy or both.

What's the next thing that happens here? "The Beef" (which is actually the title of the episode) is in the process of being transformed into something different. It changes from one form of a hole in the wall to another form of hole in the wall. So maybe keep thinking about the beef?

Also, the expected relationship arc between Carmy and Syd also is suddenly thwarted by a new love interest in the very next episode (Claire was subtly introduced in ep 1 actually). So keep thinking about sydcarmy, even though the show tries to gaslight us?

I love being delulu 😁

As with every other scene in this show, I don't think that was just for kiki-ing. There's a reason that hole was made and there's a reason Syd was the one to do it.

I NEED carmy to look back at the camera

Like, Richie already did it

I would particularly love it in this context, follow me here

Carmen: common Sydney, you think everything I experience is a plot device to warn me or push me into a psychotic episode?

Carmen: stares at the camera

[fairestbeard]

"Do me a favor keep thinking about her it?"

Multiple meanings to this particular shot, in my opinion. At least 3 other meanings apart from the literal.

(I talked about it in this)

I NEED carmy to look back at the camera

Like, Richie already did it

I would particularly love it in this context, follow me here

Carmen: common Sydney, you think everything I experience is a plot device to warn me or push me into a psychotic episode?

Carmen: stares at the camera

[fairestbeard]

The way a lot of anti-sycarmies, especially the ones that claim (a lie btw) to be so out of love for Sydney, would rather root for the downfall of Carmy than see him and Syd together is INSANE!!!!!

[fairestbeard]

*side eye*

I absolutely devour every sydcarmy edit I come across. They have such a deep connection that I don’t think can ever be described as platonic. I also think that them getting together would be the absolute worst thing for my girl Sydney

[fairestbeard]

A real possibility if they are getting these tattoos based on the storyline.

the sorry sign!!!!! the knife through the heart tattoo being a combo of syd's three of swords one and carmy's knife through the hand one!!!!!

somehow this means the sorry sign is coming back for season 4 and carmy's gonna see syd's tattoo and and—

[fairestbeard]

I recently saw a comment on YouTube about how Mr Darcy is so well loved, not because he was perfect but because he kept trying to be better. He would take Elizabeth's pointers and worked on whatever she mentioned, eg dancing, the art of conversation, etc. He still crashed and burned most times but he wanted always to improve himself to be good for her.

This is the same thing I see in Carmy and his wanting to give Syd what she wants. Even in their fight about the walls being taken down, I've seen some people say he was being condescending and trying to be menacing but they couldn't be more wrong. That was him trying to really understand her point of contention so that he doesn't upset her again- asking her over again for next time. He already knows he's stupid so he can't assume he knows or that she's being irrational.

Whatever madness he is up to in S3, he's still frantically trying to give her what he thinks she wants so that he can be that guy he thinks he needs to be for her. That's why he asks her and only her "you don't think I can do it?". You don't think I'm capable of being that guy? That's why he looks shaken when he thinks she doesn't believe in him. Her faith in him is the only thing that matters. Unfortunately she has stopped communicating and he probably would keep flailing and failing till he is ready to honestly answer the why.

This Is What You Wanted, Right? – SydCarmy & Subtext

Every time Carmy says “This is what you wanted, right?” to Sydney, it feels like Storer and Calo are straight-up taunting us. Like, "Yeah, you wanted this dynamic? This push-and-pull? This agonizingly slow burn? Well, buckle up." They know exactly what they’re doing.

LET ME EXPLAIN

Season 1, Episode 3: "Brigade"

This is the first time Carmy drops the phrase, and it sets the tone for their entire relationship. He’s trying to implement the brigade system, but Sydney’s not on board with how rigid and intense it is. Their exchange goes:

Carmy: "You told me that's what you wanted."

Sydney:"No. I-I said I wanted more to do. I didn't say I wanna run a Russian gymnastics program."

Right away, it’s clear—Sydney asked for something, and Carmy, in typical Carmy fashion, took it and ran with it to an extreme. But the way he phrases it? It’s not just about the brigade system. It’s a challenge. You wanted to be here, didn’t you? You wanted to work with me? And that’s something we see again and again: Sydney choosing to be in Carmy’s orbit, even when it’s a lot.

This is a great starting point for their relationship because it shows that in order for them to be on the same page they have to jump through a few hurdles or misunderstanding and miscommunication first. They will have many obstacles to face before really hearing each other, and for things (between them) to work "the way I think we both want it to work."

Hello. So much subtext in almost every line between these two it makes me CRAZY.

Season 1, Episode 7: "Review"

Now, things get even more intense. The kitchen is a disaster, tensions are at an all-time high, and Carmy—who is spiraling under the weight of it all—snaps at Sydney:

Carmy: "This is what you wanted, right?"

It’s not a genuine question. It’s a LOADED one. There’s frustration, maybe even resentment, but beneath that? There’s an understanding. Sydney wanted something—more responsibility, more control, a partnership with Carmy—and now she’s feeling the full weight of it.

He told her that her dish wasn't ready. — he wasn't ready for her. And because she put herself out there, and was enjoyed and appreciated by someone else it stings in a different way for him, hearing the review of her superb risotto dish. Hence his frustration towards the pre-order option being left open over night only being excelled due to this.

And this moment is key because it isn’t just about work and the frustrations there, but It’s about them. Their dynamic. Their push and pull.

Season 2, Episode 8: "Bolognese"

This one right here is such a quietly brutal moment. Sydney’s pissed because Carmy’s been running ideas by Claire—who, at this point, is basically in the periphery of everything going on with the restaurant—and it’s clear Sydney feels totally blindsided. So she says:

Sydney: "–So, I should I also send my revised COGS to your girlfriend?"

Carmy: "You don't need to send anything—she's not my girlfriend."

Sydney: "So she's not even your girlfriend."

Carmy: "Right."

Sydney: "And we're, like, arranging this menu—"

Carmy: "She's not arranging anything and she's not looking at the menu—this is what you wanted originally and that is what I'm giving you–"

That line? Oof. He says it AGAIN. And it hits different this time. There’s this weird bitterness to it, like he’s using her own ambition against her to justify why he’s messing things up. It’s defensive, but it’s also exposing—because if it really was “what she wanted,” why does he sound so wounded? Why is she so hurt? It’s not just about logistics. It's not even about Claire, really. It’s about the rift between them.

It's about Carmy choosing to confide in someone else. It’s about Sydney realizing that the “partnership” she thought they were building isn’t quite what she thought it was. And again, choice comes back—choosing each other, or not.

It's straight up saying all these people want is a bit(or all) of each other. Sydney doesn't want to share his focus, just as Carmen wants all of hers.

This, (as far as I know/remember) is the last time he directly says this exact phrase to her. From season one to two it was a challenge to her. A challenge for their relationship. "This is what you wanted?" Almost always checking in with her, too.

It's like saying, hey, yeah, we know the pressure's a lot, and often you feel like throwing a brick in my face, but it's what you chose. It's what you want.

Storer Knows Exactly What He's Doing

The writers love their little winks at the audience, and this phrase? It’s definitely one of them. Every time Carmy says "This is what you wanted” to Sydney, it’s like the show is turning to us, the SydCarmy truthers, and saying:

"This is what you wanted, right?"

A relationship that’s layered, complicated, built on mutual ambition and unspoken tension? A connection that’s frustratingly slow, where every tiny shift feels monumental? The show is teasing us, making us earn whatever payoff is coming. (And it is.)

And the proof that this is all intentional? Fast-forward to Season 3, Episode 1, when Sydney asks why Carmy is changing everything, and he responds with:

"So I can push you, and you can push me."

It’s all connected. From "You wanted to work here, right?” to “This is what you wanted, right?��� to “So I can push you, and you can push me.” It’s all part of the same conversation. A question of choice. Of whether they’ll keep choosing each other, through the chaos, through the pressure, through everything. Despite the obstacles, despite the slow realization, they keep coming back to each other. They're gonna keep coming back to each other.

Because we know that everything in this show is purposeful. It's meaningful. And these significant repeating lines are powerful tools to hint and push us towards what they're working for. It's a question of how long can they keep this up.

And we already know the answer.

So yeah, it’s going to be slow. It’s going to be maddening. But this is what we wanted, right?

[fairestbeard]

It actually took her 3 days (72 hours) from what I can remember.

I still think it would be hilarious if Claire's payback tirade that I feel is coming in S4 includes that the sex with Carmy was terrible and that he never made her come or he couldn't finish. The show is a comedy, after all.

And so, the ILU voice message and her dressing up on Friends and Family was to definitely try to seal the deal that night, and what happened resulted in Carmy finally admitting to someone who she knew wasn't her how he was really feeling.

And now he's even more confused because Claire told him she loved him, but he's still thinking about it, and it just doesn't add up to him.

Because I don't think Carmy can really enjoy sex without a genuine emotional connection.

[fairestbeard]

I mean if you consider their dialogue at the mail drop as a direct foretelling of their sexual experience with each other:

Claire says it was very anti-climatic which is the opposite of climaxing or orgasming. So you could interprete it as her not finishing at all.

Carmy says it was very underwhelming. In other words he found the experience very mid and not exciting so even if he finished, the orgasm felt very meh.

So I think both of them weren't really satisfied. I'm very much with your idea as to this being why Claire jumped the gun with the ILY message. She probably sensed that what was missing was passion and thought she needed to jumpstart things ER style by claiming to be being in love.

I still think it would be hilarious if Claire's payback tirade that I feel is coming in S4 includes that the sex with Carmy was terrible and that he never made her come or he couldn't finish. The show is a comedy, after all.

And so, the ILU voice message and her dressing up on Friends and Family was to definitely try to seal the deal that night, and what happened resulted in Carmy finally admitting to someone who she knew wasn't her how he was really feeling.

And now he's even more confused because Claire told him she loved him, but he's still thinking about it, and it just doesn't add up to him.

Because I don't think Carmy can really enjoy sex without a genuine emotional connection.

[fairestbeard]

One thing that really broke me is how Nat who somehow managed to find a man who absolutely unashamedly unambiguously adores her is still afraid that he's is going to leave.

Because even though she's had years of proof that she can be loved like that, she still doesn't believe it.

This is gonna sound depressing as fuck, but I think the elements that attracts me more about the romance in the bear, sydcarmy particularly, it’s the implicit tragedy of loving in the real world

This show is about trauma, front and center

And many people are very afraid or find themselves incapable maintaining relationships, because of trauma

The bear presents this characters as deeply flawed individuals that really see themselves as difficult to love. They live high stress lifestyles and try to find themselves in their own mess.

Nat chooses a man that could never become the aggressive, overconfident, loud and obnoxious men she grew up with, even if she loved them (her uncle, her older brother, Richie, Lee) in other words, she choose a man her mother would never choose

Richie thinks her life left him because he was a good for nothing that could not give his family a good life. And she ended up marrying a rich asshole.

Sydney has trust issues and a broken heart from a past relationship, wich is ironic considering she has feelings for a person (Carmy) that cannot be reliable despite how much he wants to, and how much she needs it.

Carmy is so traumatized and disconnected for his own emotions and boundaries that he considers a shallow, manipulative, forced relationship the best thing that ever happened to him, just because of how unlovable he felt.

In romance movies, it feels like the path is cut out, the narrative is the romance

In the bear, the narrative is the trauma, and the romance, the love, is trying not to get lost in the tracks

[fairestbeard]

Thank you for mentioning Garcia and Morgan because that fucking drove me nuts. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one and I'm not crazy.

Anytime I hear someone mention them as a perfect example of platonic soulmates I want to poke someone's eye.

I was also have something in my drafts about this particular topic with them as examples too. I HATED what they did with them.

i’m sick and tired of everyone beating around the bush as to why ships like melfrank or sydcarmy or even fucking. garcia and morgan from goddamn criminal minds and the like get the ‘why can’t two people just be friends/i think it’s important to highlight platonic male/female friendships/asexual representation!’ treatment. like ok sure yeah let’s get some asexuals in here lets let ppl be friends lets show a platonic friendship between a man and a woman. why this one though. what is it about this man. what is it about this woman. stop beating around the bush. say it out loud!

[fairestbeard]

I'm going to cry!!!!

How did a whole ass ten paragraph juicy AF draft I'm working on just disappear into thin air.

WTF is wrong with this app. All my work I can't believe it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[fairestbeard]

The gag is that they want to be friends.

They want to be best friends.

They are friendly...

But they are finding hard to actually BE FRIENDS because they can't only keep it that way. Because deep down what they really want is be each other's best friend, lover and partner.

“sydcarmy is platonic” the way they literally aren’t friends. you can be attracted to someone romantically without being their friend but how the fuck are you gonna say they like each other platonically when they’re literally not friends LMAO