fandomwritingau

[fandomwritingau]

Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

I love my mom.

I am risking nothing

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

sorry followers :(

[fandomwritingau]

You gonna get that job, get that car, house/apartment, and then you gon find you a lil boo who gon listen and y’all gon be happy.

Reblog it into existence

[fandomwritingau]

Chapter 23: Evie The catastrophe of Christmas is over and done with, the extended family has left and the ways things with my immediate family have gone back to normal, shutting me out and criticizing everything i do. The wall clock ticked louder and louder with every passing second. Time was passing ever so slowly, i guess it was because i didn't know if luke would actually show up. The discussion with my Aunty Olivia, I think put it all into perspective, even when i rejected him, Luke was more than willing to help me and be by my side. That was rare. Never have i ever seen someone act this way towards me, that's how i knew he was special; oh so very special. The shower of taps upon my window are what draw me from my thoughts, knocking sound repeats itself over and over. Slowly walking up to the window, i peer behind the curtain and standing there was a bright smiling face that I had been waiting to see for hours. His hair still slightly wet from either a shower or swimming, and the signature smile visible for all to see. That's what made me smile the most i have in the last 2 weeks, he was happy to see me, he was happy that i had called. That's what i needed right now. But then suddenly my phone started ringing, it was then that i mouthed the words I’m sorry to Luke and turned around and grabbed my phone from my bed where the contact name “Babe” with a bright red heart was displayed a slight chuckle escaped my lips, of course it was him; smart ass. “Hello, this is Evie-Rose.” My customer service voice beams over the line, two can play at this game. “Hey, are you busy?” The familiar voice of Luke rings in my ear, god I have missed his voice. I pause before answering, taking my time to look back out the window at the tall handsome man that is waiting outside my window. “Yeah, I’m sorry Luke, but there’s someone waiting for me outside my window. And well I can’t keep him waiting any longer than I already have.” a small chuckle escapes my lips as swiftly say goodbye bye and end the phone call. Heading back to the window, I finally open the window to see the cheeky smile which I adore. The same Luke, with the same smile, the same blue eyes and the same flirtatious attitude. “Geez, how long did you want me to wait out here Evie?” He sighed as he edged closer to the window sill which I am sat upon. “I’m sorry I had to take this phone call from this really weird guy that has been begging me to go in a date with him. But I had to tell him that I had someone waiting for me.” For the first time since the incident in New York my smile isn’t force, it’s natural, it’s me. It can’t control the giant grin that is now plastered all over my face, and Luke knows it. His smile says it all. “Oh, that’s okay then!” He laughs as he clambers through my window behind me. “Wait! I’m not creepy!” The look of shock horror plastered across his face when he realises what I had said. An uncontrollable fit of giggles takes over and I can’t help but doing anything other than laugh. “That’s it! You’re going to get it now!” Luke then leaps across the room ready to tickle me, the menacing look upon his face giving away his plan. Luckily, I was quick enough to dart the first attempt, but not the second. Before I knew it his arms were wrapped around me tickling my ribs. “I’ve missed you, Evie-Rose.” A ruby red blush lit up my cheeks as his lips pressed to my cheek, following some untraceable line to the corner of my lips before using his fingertips to turn my head fully toward him. A ghost of a smile graced his lips, a flash of pink as his tongue darted across. Bright blue hid from view as he fluttered his eyes shut, letting his lips brush mine as a sharp breath got stuck in my lungs. How did he make every kiss feel like it was the first? “Popcorn?” Was the first word out of his mouth, eyes opening to bore into my own startled ones. “Excuse me?” I questioned, turning to fully face him as he tugged me impossibly closer to his chest. “Do you have popcorn? We can’t have a movie marathon with no popcorn, duh.” He playfully rolled his eyes, kissing me softly between the eyes. “Yeah, yeah,” I groaned, pulling away from him. “There better be a blanket cocoon waiting for me when I get back.” “Don’t forget-” “Extra butter and salt. I know,” I grinned, looking back at him from the doorway. His smile was soft, a lowly glow surrounding him like he was little more than a mirage. “Why’re you looking at me like that?” “I’ve just never met someone like you, someone who remembers the little things.” He shrugged, dropping his eyes from mine as he picked at my duvet. “Someone who truly cares about people, wants to know as much as she can about who they are.” “I don’t know,” I shrugged, tilting my head at his soft spoken words. “If we’re being honest, I think Calum might know you best. I mean, what’s this I hear about a mole on your ass?” He tossed a pillow at my face causing me to squeal and sprint from the room, the sound of his laughter soft as a melody. There was no time for serious discussion tonight. Tonight was the time to escape the real world, feel alive and love. Tonight was about being happy, and no one made me happier than Luke. Thank god, no one was home at the moment or else I wouldn’t get away with this. There is no way that my brother would allow Luke to be here, James already disapproves of him and he doesn’t even know of New York yet. Even though, I still tip toe around the house, silently as ever. The pop of the popcorn breaks through the silence of the empty house, riddling me with anxiety until silence fell over the room again. With the bowl of extra butter and salted popcorn cradled under my arm, two bottles of water and a cup of tea, I make my way back through the dark house to find Luke all curled up in my colourful duvet, scrolling through the movies on my laptop. “Don’t you look comfy?” A giggle escapes my lips as I lean against the door frame. Bright blue flashes up at me, adoration spreading across his face. “Are you going to join me?” He raises an eyebrow, pulling back the covers as I shrug nonchalantly. “Nah, I think I’ll sit on the floor and eat all this popcorn.” “Oh no you don’t!” A shriek comes across the room followed by a tall, lanky giraffe man tangled in a sea of aqua and pink covers. “No! Hot tea in my hand!” As the words filled the air the blanket monster formally known as Luke stops mid step across the room. I practically dropped all the food onto my desk, darting around Luke and diving onto the bed and dragging him down with me. Laughter fell from both of our lips, joy spreading through our chests as we landed with a huff. Our laughter slowly died out, his head resting on his propped up arm as he hovered above me. Shaggy blonde hair framed his face, my fingers gently trailing his cheeks as I pushed them out of the way and allowed myself to get lost in happiness of this moment. “Why’re you looking at me like that?” My voice was little more than a whisper, not wanting to break the mood. “Like what?” He grinned, watching the blush flood my face and trail down my neck when he let his fingers trace my collarbone. “Like that.” I waved vaguely at his face, waiting for him to get the message. “Because, I just,” He paused for a moment, eyes searching mine before he softened his gaze and let the room fall back into full silence for a moment. “I adore you.” My heart skipped a beat, hearing the stress of the 2nd word as though it didn’t fit. “I don’t want you to leave.” I whispered, pulling his head down the slightest bit so his lips were ghosting mine. “What would you do if I asked you to stay?” “I would never leave this spot.” His lips met mine slowly, like he was afraid I’d disappear if he moved too quickly. He pulled away suddenly, forehead resting against mine. “Ask me.” “What?” “Ask me to stay.” My heart almost leapt out of my chest. “Luke,” I breathed. “I can’t do that.” “I know.” “Would you really stay?” “In a heartbeat.” “Then I can’t ask you, it’s not fair.” He licked his lips, kissing me quickly once more before rolling off to the side to get the food. Mentally, I kicked myself for ruining the mood but when he crawled back in beside me, pulling me taut to his side with a kiss on the temple all bad feelings went away. - Morning came way too early. The sun shining, birds chirping as I woke up in the safest place in the world. Luke was snoring like no one’s business, popcorn crumbs littered his shoulder as I took up residence on the other one. I’d never felt such a bittersweet moment in my life knowing that reality was about to crash down around me, that Luke would leave me and I’d be stuck in this place for a while longer on my own. “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” If I could record that morning voice of his, it would be evry ringtone I had. “Nothing, I’m just happy right now.” His lips pressed into my hairline, a soft sigh leaving his lips as he checked the time on the side table clock. “I have to get going.” “I know.” It took him about five minutes to actually get out of bed, another two to help make up the bed and all of it was in complete silence. There was something nice about it, the sombre attitude made it as okay as it could be that he was leaving. It was the solace that reminded me that even though he was leaving for a while, that it’d be okay. That we’d be okay. It wasn’t until he was about to crawl out the window, after a goodbye kiss - or maybe a few - that I remembered the most important part about having him come over. “Oh wait!” He startled as I spun on my heel, wrenching my hand from his for the first time since we’d finished making the bed. Pulling the present from my nightstand drawer, the metallic wrapping paper glinted in the sunlight. His eyebrows shot up, accepting the gift as I thrust it into his hands. “I almost forgot.” He went to pull off the paper, squawking a little as I slapped his hand away in a hurry. “What was that for?” “Not yet! Open it in Bali, when - er, if - you miss me.” He smiled sadly at me, dragging me in by the handles of my waist. “I’ll have to open it as soon as I get there then. I’ll always miss you, my crazy girl.” And as he climbed out of the window, my heart felt ten times stronger. I was on the road to accepting the events in New york and more than that, I was beginning to accept myself. As I began to get ready for the day, I couldn’t help but smile at myself in the mirror. Life had thrown me one bitch of a curveball, but I’d survived and now it was time to hit some home runs. A/N: Hi there lovelies! So we finally got another chapter up! Yay! Hopefully this is the beginning of a roll! Wish us luck! Lots of love ~Emma xxx <3

[fandomwritingau]

Apologies

Hi there you lovely people!! 

So, I want to apologise for not posting in 8 months. I have been so busy at university, I have just finished my third year and it been one hell of a year. Literally. 

So I took a bit of time off writing so that I could get my schooling and my head in order. and it did take a bit longer than I first thought, but I am back at it! Consequences is currently still in progress, @madmusings (Hopefully if she still wants to help me xx) and I are going to attempt to work on it as much as we can now. But we are both crazy busy working and with Christmas and my 21st birthday coming up within a week of each other (Gosh I feel old!).

BUT I PROMISE THAT I WILL TRY TO GET ANOTHER CHAPTER UP ASAP!!!

Much Love

Emma xxx <3

[fandomwritingau]

Consequences |LRH|- Chapter 22

Chapter 22:

Evie

Let’s go home for Christmas, he says. It will be fun, he says. As much as I love my family, and the traditions we sort of, not really have, I knew the one day of kindness would be short lived. The bullying and degrading nature of my parents  which was majority of the time directed towards me subsides for a day then is swung back in full force. They weren’t bad people per say, just the kind that thought belittlement led to betterment. They were always nicer when we had company.

Our Aunt Olivia and her boyfriend Bailey were spending the day with us, normal but always fun. She was one of my closest family members, the only one who didn’t make me think I was less than enough. She was always there for me, letting me spend the night when I would show up at her apartment in the city because I was just too tired of home. Then I left, moved to LA to get away and this year was different, the comments more focused on the things I couldn’t change about myself and about the dreams I was already afraid of never achieving.

“Why can’t you be skinnier like her?” “Why can’t you be more successful like your brother?” “Why can’t you-”, is basically all I heard. Why couldn’t I be enough written in their coded questions.

By the time we got down to playing around with our cricket set outside in the summer sun  and were sitting down for dinner, I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. Olivia and James had been running interference all day, taking the brunt of the hits and deflecting them away only for more to be thrown. We were exhausted. Then my mum just had to notice the pinking scar that reached out from under the many bracelets upon my arm.

“What is that? Are you so desperate to be a complete waste that you’re harming yourself now too?” My heart practically fell out of my chest, Olivia gasping as she hit my dad in an a get her to stop motion but no one was paying attention, all eyes on the pink line. James reached out like he was going to push up apart the bracelets and I immediately ripped my arm away. They couldn’t know of New York, not like this and certainly not right now. Not when panic was seizing in my chest and I felt like I was minutes away from passing out from the lack of oxygen; I couldn’t cry if I held my breath.

“Ev,” He whispered, eyes broken as he tried to reach for me.

“I can’t do this right now.” I practically yelled, shooting up out of my chair. I couldn’t hear anything but the pumping of my heart, the feeling of my blood rushing to my cheeks. I had to get out of here, I couldn’t let them see me like that.

Slamming the door to my bedroom, that had been converted to a guest room the moment I moved out, I slid down til my butt hit the floor. My tears fell the moment I hit the floor, shaking hands going to cover my mouth as I tried to keep from sobbing. I could hear my aunt whisper yelling at them, something about stepping over a line. Absentmindedly my hand reached for my phone before noticing the scar myself, and ripping my hand back.

I couldn’t call Luke, he didn’t need to deal with this days before going on vacation. He wasn’t my boyfriend and even if he was, I wouldn’t bother him with this. No, I could handle this like I had been for months, no years. I have to get through this, I have to know I’m strong enough.

The light knock on my door echoed throughout the quiet space around me, pulling me from my thoughts. I don’t answer, knowing she’ll let herself in anyway. I simply scoot over so she can get through. Her glowing green eyes met mine as she slipped through the door, a sympathetic smile on her face. She was petite with hair the same colour as mine, besides the light pink tips brushing her shoulder blades. She was pretty. Prettier than I could hope to be.

“I’m not going back out there, if that’s why you’re here.” I sigh, glancing back out the window that led to the side garden by my house. That was always my quiet spot when I lived here, no one really went there so they could never interrupt me. I liked it like that, it was my escape.

“No, i just wanted to talk to you. I haven’t seen you in a long time remember?” She chuckled, sitting down beside me and gripping my hand. “A year if I’m not mistaken?”

“Yeah, something like that.” I say looking back to my aunt as she leaned back, leg up as she propped her right arm on her knee and her head resting on the wall. It was silent for a long moment as we regarded each other curiously. Olivia has always known what I needed, and it wasn’t any different.

“So first things first. Boys!” she cracks a smile, this is always how we behaved. Our conversations would always start on this normally light topic, i would have no news of anyone and she would tell me of something that Bailey had done for her. Bailey and Auntie Olivia have been together since she moved to Sydney 5 years ago now; 3 years before my family did. He was perfect for her, he supported her in everything she did; and i mean everything little thing, even if it was me coming to stay with them. He knew how important it was to her to make sure that i was okay.

“So? Is there someone new in your life you wanna tell me about? Someone i might need to have a chat with?” She smiles again, pulling a stupid face trying to get me to smile. Thoughts begin flowing through my mind, from meeting Luke, to our dates, our first kiss upon the roof of my apartment building at sunrise and to New York, everything we have been through together. Every second being edged further into my memory. I go to finally open my mouth and speak but hesitation sets in, if i tell Olivia about Luke then that means i have to talk about New York, both the good and the terrible. In my mind i know that i need to talk about what happened in New York with someone before it kills me.

“Yeah look you remember the time that i was asked to do the photo shoot for Rolling Stone Magazine back in October?”

“Of course i do! I was jumping around the house when you told me and Bailey couldn’t get me to stop.”

“Anyway,  i met someone there. But it’s complicated.” that was the simplest way of putting it. Complicated.

“How do you mean?” she asks, actually completely interested in me and my life, like no one else would ever be or is. She is one of what has now grown to five people that i trust and that i know care for me and my well being and will do anything for me.

“ When i met him, i was free. Being around him made me so happy. We’ve been seeing each other for 8 weeks, unofficially.”

“That’s great Evie! Who is he?” She beams pulling me into a huge hug. But then she pulls back with a puzzled look on her face. She sits back on the floor, her knees mirroring mine and resting against them. “Wait. Whats complicated about that?”

“There is two things and you can’t freak out about either of them okay? Promise me?” I hold out my right hand with my pinky extended, this is how we have always sealed a promise, ever since we were kids. Olivia was more of a sister rather than an aunt. She is only 5 years older than me and we were inseparable up until Olivia moved to Sydney for University to study Graphic Design. She hesitated before mirroring me and linking her pinky with mine.

“I promise, but you have to tell me everything! Deal?” I nod in reply, here goes nothing.

“Okay, so his name. His name is Luke. Luke Hemmings.” his name rolled off of my tongue so cleanly, so smoothly, so perfectly. Just like him.

“Oh Evie that’s so- Wait did you say Hemmings? As in Luke Hemmings from 5 Seconds of Summer?”

Again, hesitation stops me, it’s not like i don’t know who he is. I know exactly who he is. He is a 6 foot 4 blonde hair, blue eyed boy from same country as i call home with a voice of an angle and the passion and nature of teddy bear.  He is my Luke, yes he may also be a famous rockstar, but that doesn’t bother me. I just wish i wasn’t like this, that, that whole night in New York didn’t happen and we were the same, still together unofficially. I can’t form words, the vivid image of Luke in my mind causes me to loose my voice, my head just slowly nods up and down.

“And that is who this is for?” she asks, placing  a small box on the floor in front of me. The pick. Olivia is a graphic designer and i had enlisted in her help a few weeks ago to have this guitar pick made, especially for Luke. I open the box and see the small familiar shape sitting upon a black fabric covered cushion. The small pick is black in colour and the word ‘yes’ in white with a small read heart underneath it. It was perfect, exactly how i imagined it. I nod in reply. I stay silent, everything has changed since i asked Olivia to help me with this.

“Whats wrong? Isn’t it right?” she panics.

“No it’s perfect. It’s just that things have changed since then. Between he and I, that’s the complicated part.” i sigh, i’m going to have to tell her what happened. What happened in New York.

“Do i have to set Bailey on to him? I’ll do it, he will be willing because you are his favourite!”

“No Aunty Liv, it’s not him that’s the complicated part. It’s me. A nearly a week and a half ago I was in New York for a photography competition and I met up with Luke while i was there. Before New York everything with Luke was so good, like no one could tear me down. I could be myself around him, i didn’t have to fake anything; not a single utterance. We were on the verge of perfection. But now i can’t help but feel that i have ruined it.”

She says nothing. The look on her face gives it all away though. It’s the look of the wheels turning in her head, contemplating different scenarios, playing the game of what if over and over again. Finally she then speaks.

“What could have happened to ruin it? If it was basically perfect then nothing could break that. Unless?” She gives me a look as if to ask did you? Did you do it?

“No I didn’t cheat! I would never!!” I paused “We went out with the boys and they didn’t know and still don’t know that he and i were a thing. One of them, Michael, was talking to someone that i had known from a previous job. And he had tried to hit on me, no force himself onto me, all before Luke and i were a thing. Anyway, i got pushed off with him by someone and i felt terrible for even going with him. But both Luke and i knew that i had to pretend that i was okay with it so that we didn’t come out to everyone in the club, then everyone in the entire world. The guy, Josh, he-he got me one drink, one drink!  But in that one drink he had put something in it, he drugged me. I don’t even know what hep put in my drink, all i know was that it took effect so quickly, everything is fuzzy or just completely blacked out. All I remember was that he dragged me out of the club, throwing me down stairs in a race to get me away from people and he..” I suck in a deep breath, holding back the tears which had already begun to fall. I had to keep going, i have told her this much.

“Oh god Evie, he didn’t-?” Olivia flinched at the thought brewing in her mind.

“If Luke hadn’t been watching and hadn’t managed to..” i pause, i just need to get to the point; for both of our sakes. “No, he didnt. But he did put me in the hospital for a few days.”

“Oh god Evie! Come here.” she leans into me and wraps her arms around me. Her petite body holding me tightly, like she always did. Like family would. She then pulls away from me and pushes herself off of the floor. “Evie, i know what you’ve been through is a lot and i don’t even know how you are dealing with it. But you need to call him. Like now. It’s obvious that he is very important to you and that you are very important to him.” then she was gone, just like that. But she was right, i needed him. I needed my Luke.

A/N: Hi there lovelies, so @madmusings  and ive finally managed to get the next chapter up! Im just going to say now that im not sure when the next one will be out, but i am going to be working as hard as i can on it. So PLEASE stay tuned, so fun and interesting stuff is soo to happen!!!

Kisses

Emma xxx <3

[fandomwritingau]

Consequences |LRH|- Chapter 22

Chapter 22:

Evie

Let’s go home for Christmas, he says. It will be fun, he says. As much as I love my family, and the traditions we sort of, not really have, I knew the one day of kindness would be short lived. The bullying and degrading nature of my parents  which was majority of the time directed towards me subsides for a day then is swung back in full force. They weren’t bad people per say, just the kind that thought belittlement led to betterment. They were always nicer when we had company.

Our Aunt Olivia and her boyfriend Bailey were spending the day with us, normal but always fun. She was one of my closest family members, the only one who didn’t make me think I was less than enough. She was always there for me, letting me spend the night when I would show up at her apartment in the city because I was just too tired of home. Then I left, moved to LA to get away and this year was different, the comments more focused on the things I couldn’t change about myself and about the dreams I was already afraid of never achieving.

“Why can’t you be skinnier like her?” “Why can’t you be more successful like your brother?” “Why can’t you-”, is basically all I heard. Why couldn’t I be enough written in their coded questions.

By the time we got down to playing around with our cricket set outside in the summer sun  and were sitting down for dinner, I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. Olivia and James had been running interference all day, taking the brunt of the hits and deflecting them away only for more to be thrown. We were exhausted. Then my mum just had to notice the pinking scar that reached out from under the many bracelets upon my arm.

“What is that? Are you so desperate to be a complete waste that you’re harming yourself now too?” My heart practically fell out of my chest, Olivia gasping as she hit my dad in an a get her to stop motion but no one was paying attention, all eyes on the pink line. James reached out like he was going to push up apart the bracelets and I immediately ripped my arm away. They couldn’t know of New York, not like this and certainly not right now. Not when panic was seizing in my chest and I felt like I was minutes away from passing out from the lack of oxygen; I couldn’t cry if I held my breath.

“Ev,” He whispered, eyes broken as he tried to reach for me.

“I can’t do this right now.” I practically yelled, shooting up out of my chair. I couldn’t hear anything but the pumping of my heart, the feeling of my blood rushing to my cheeks. I had to get out of here, I couldn’t let them see me like that.

Slamming the door to my bedroom, that had been converted to a guest room the moment I moved out, I slid down til my butt hit the floor. My tears fell the moment I hit the floor, shaking hands going to cover my mouth as I tried to keep from sobbing. I could hear my aunt whisper yelling at them, something about stepping over a line. Absentmindedly my hand reached for my phone before noticing the scar myself, and ripping my hand back.

I couldn’t call Luke, he didn’t need to deal with this days before going on vacation. He wasn’t my boyfriend and even if he was, I wouldn’t bother him with this. No, I could handle this like I had been for months, no years. I have to get through this, I have to know I’m strong enough.

The light knock on my door echoed throughout the quiet space around me, pulling me from my thoughts. I don’t answer, knowing she’ll let herself in anyway. I simply scoot over so she can get through. Her glowing green eyes met mine as she slipped through the door, a sympathetic smile on her face. She was petite with hair the same colour as mine, besides the light pink tips brushing her shoulder blades. She was pretty. Prettier than I could hope to be.

“I'm not going back out there, if that's why you're here.” I sigh, glancing back out the window that led to the side garden by my house. That was always my quiet spot when I lived here, no one really went there so they could never interrupt me. I liked it like that, it was my escape.

“No, i just wanted to talk to you. I haven't seen you in a long time remember?” She chuckled, sitting down beside me and gripping my hand. “A year if I’m not mistaken?”

“Yeah, something like that.” I say looking back to my aunt as she leaned back, leg up as she propped her right arm on her knee and her head resting on the wall. It was silent for a long moment as we regarded each other curiously. Olivia has always known what I needed, and it wasn’t any different.

“So first things first. Boys!” she cracks a smile, this is always how we behaved. Our conversations would always start on this normally light topic, i would have no news of anyone and she would tell me of something that Bailey had done for her. Bailey and Auntie Olivia have been together since she moved to Sydney 5 years ago now; 3 years before my family did. He was perfect for her, he supported her in everything she did; and i mean everything little thing, even if it was me coming to stay with them. He knew how important it was to her to make sure that i was okay.

“So? Is there someone new in your life you wanna tell me about? Someone i might need to have a chat with?” She smiles again, pulling a stupid face trying to get me to smile. Thoughts begin flowing through my mind, from meeting Luke, to our dates, our first kiss upon the roof of my apartment building at sunrise and to New York, everything we have been through together. Every second being edged further into my memory. I go to finally open my mouth and speak but hesitation sets in, if i tell Olivia about Luke then that means i have to talk about New York, both the good and the terrible. In my mind i know that i need to talk about what happened in New York with someone before it kills me.

“Yeah look you remember the time that i was asked to do the photo shoot for Rolling Stone Magazine back in October?”

“Of course i do! I was jumping around the house when you told me and Bailey couldn't get me to stop.”

“Anyway,  i met someone there. But it's complicated.” that was the simplest way of putting it. Complicated.

“How do you mean?” she asks, actually completely interested in me and my life, like no one else would ever be or is. She is one of what has now grown to five people that i trust and that i know care for me and my well being and will do anything for me.

“ When i met him, i was free. Being around him made me so happy. We’ve been seeing each other for 8 weeks, unofficially.”

“That's great Evie! Who is he?” She beams pulling me into a huge hug. But then she pulls back with a puzzled look on her face. She sits back on the floor, her knees mirroring mine and resting against them. “Wait. Whats complicated about that?”

“There is two things and you can't freak out about either of them okay? Promise me?” I hold out my right hand with my pinky extended, this is how we have always sealed a promise, ever since we were kids. Olivia was more of a sister rather than an aunt. She is only 5 years older than me and we were inseparable up until Olivia moved to Sydney for University to study Graphic Design. She hesitated before mirroring me and linking her pinky with mine.

“I promise, but you have to tell me everything! Deal?” I nod in reply, here goes nothing.

“Okay, so his name. His name is Luke. Luke Hemmings.” his name rolled off of my tongue so cleanly, so smoothly, so perfectly. Just like him.

“Oh Evie that's so- Wait did you say Hemmings? As in Luke Hemmings from 5 Seconds of Summer?”

Again, hesitation stops me, it's not like i don't know who he is. I know exactly who he is. He is a 6 foot 4 blonde hair, blue eyed boy from same country as i call home with a voice of an angle and the passion and nature of teddy bear.  He is my Luke, yes he may also be a famous rockstar, but that doesn't bother me. I just wish i wasn't like this, that, that whole night in New York didn't happen and we were the same, still together unofficially. I can’t form words, the vivid image of Luke in my mind causes me to loose my voice, my head just slowly nods up and down.

“And that is who this is for?” she asks, placing  a small box on the floor in front of me. The pick. Olivia is a graphic designer and i had enlisted in her help a few weeks ago to have this guitar pick made, especially for Luke. I open the box and see the small familiar shape sitting upon a black fabric covered cushion. The small pick is black in colour and the word ‘yes’ in white with a small read heart underneath it. It was perfect, exactly how i imagined it. I nod in reply. I stay silent, everything has changed since i asked Olivia to help me with this.

“Whats wrong? Isn't it right?” she panics.

“No it's perfect. It's just that things have changed since then. Between he and I, that's the complicated part.” i sigh, i'm going to have to tell her what happened. What happened in New York.

“Do i have to set Bailey on to him? I'll do it, he will be willing because you are his favourite!”

“No Aunty Liv, it's not him that's the complicated part. It's me. A nearly a week and a half ago I was in New York for a photography competition and I met up with Luke while i was there. Before New York everything with Luke was so good, like no one could tear me down. I could be myself around him, i didn't have to fake anything; not a single utterance. We were on the verge of perfection. But now i can't help but feel that i have ruined it.”

She says nothing. The look on her face gives it all away though. It's the look of the wheels turning in her head, contemplating different scenarios, playing the game of what if over and over again. Finally she then speaks.

“What could have happened to ruin it? If it was basically perfect then nothing could break that. Unless?” She gives me a look as if to ask did you? Did you do it?

“No I didn't cheat! I would never!!” I paused “We went out with the boys and they didn't know and still don't know that he and i were a thing. One of them, Michael, was talking to someone that i had known from a previous job. And he had tried to hit on me, no force himself onto me, all before Luke and i were a thing. Anyway, i got pushed off with him by someone and i felt terrible for even going with him. But both Luke and i knew that i had to pretend that i was okay with it so that we didn't come out to everyone in the club, then everyone in the entire world. The guy, Josh, he-he got me one drink, one drink!  But in that one drink he had put something in it, he drugged me. I don't even know what hep put in my drink, all i know was that it took effect so quickly, everything is fuzzy or just completely blacked out. All I remember was that he dragged me out of the club, throwing me down stairs in a race to get me away from people and he..” I suck in a deep breath, holding back the tears which had already begun to fall. I had to keep going, i have told her this much.

“Oh god Evie, he didn't-?” Olivia flinched at the thought brewing in her mind.

“If Luke hadn't been watching and hadn't managed to..” i pause, i just need to get to the point; for both of our sakes. “No, he didnt. But he did put me in the hospital for a few days.”

“Oh god Evie! Come here.” she leans into me and wraps her arms around me. Her petite body holding me tightly, like she always did. Like family would. She then pulls away from me and pushes herself off of the floor. “Evie, i know what you've been through is a lot and i don't even know how you are dealing with it. But you need to call him. Like now. It's obvious that he is very important to you and that you are very important to him.” then she was gone, just like that. But she was right, i needed him. I needed my Luke.

A/N: Hi there lovelies, so @madmusings  and ive finally managed to get the next chapter up! Im just going to say now that im not sure when the next one will be out, but i am going to be working as hard as i can on it. So PLEASE stay tuned, so fun and interesting stuff is soo to happen!!!

Kisses

Emma xxx <3

[fandomwritingau]

Hey girl are you okay?? No acfivity in a looong time!

Uhhh well to be honest I've been better.... I'm currently at uni and let's just say things aren't great at the moment.

[fandomwritingau]

Queen you are killing us all we are in dyer need of the next chapter also hope you're okay

I'm so sorry that the next chapter still isn't up. I'm trying to get it up but with my mind set lately and uni and everything I just haven't had the motivation or time to do much else than study; sometimes not even that... I'm really sorry, but I will try and get it up as soon as I can, I'm just not sure when that will be yet... xxx

[fandomwritingau]

I wish....

I really wish for once in my life that I was normal.

A normal life. A normal personality. A normal height. A normal weight.

I hate being bullied. I hate being told I’m never good enough. I hate being a second choice at best. I hate that because I’m still a virgin at 20 that guys think it’ll be easy to get me to sleep with them. I hate being told that no one will ever love me.

I just wish that I was different.

[fandomwritingau]

Hellooooo everyone!!

Hai lovelies, So I know that there should be a new chapter posted by now, but there isn't. That's because this last week or so I've had a lot of personal things going on and I haven't had the chance to write anything. But I promise it will be up as soon as it can Kisses -Emma xxx <3

[fandomwritingau]

Hope you're feeling better! Excited for the next chapter!

Aha thank you Anon. I certainly am, well for now anyway aha THE NEXT CHAPTER IS UP!! i hope you love it xxxx

[fandomwritingau]

Consequences |LRH| Chapter 21

Trigger Warning: Panic attack

Evie

Pushing at the door with my hip, the white wood swings wide as I hope my brother is not standing on the other side. I was greeted by a familiar face. But not the one I was expecting.

“Blake?” I questioned, staring blankly at my best friend clad in a pair of barely there shorts and what looked like one of my brothers shirts.

“Oh, uh, Evie!” She cheered, practically dropping her mug as she pulled me into a hug. “I didn’t think you’d be here for a few more days!”

“Yeah,” I winced at the tight hold, dragging out the word slowly. “Don’t take this the wrong way but why are you here? In my house? When you didn’t think I would be here for a few days?”

“About that,’ She trailed off, pulling back and giving me a sheepish smile.

“Babe, do you want to get some food before we lea-,” James practically smacked into the door frame as he noticed me standing there, mouth half open and eyes wide. “Evie! Hey.”

“Uh, babe?” My hip cocked out, eyebrows high as James fumbles for words. “How long has this been a this?”

“Uh, a couple of months?”

“Months? Why didn’t you guys tell me?” My eyes met Blake’s sorry hazel eyes, her messy brown hair clinging to her lips as she pushed it out of her face.

“We didn’t want you to freak out, or I don’t know, feel weirded out about this.” She explained, leaning into James’ shoulder as he put an arm around her waist. Schooling my features, I nodded slowly as I contemplated my next words.

“I guess I just don’t understand how,” I breathed in through my nose, “ you managed to get her James. Cause I’m pretty sure you leaving your boxers on the stove might be a - Hey!” I laughed as James tossed a dish towel at me, Blake laughing as she snatched the next one from his hands. “I’m just kidding. I’m really happy for you guys.”

“Thanks sis.” James smiled, hands pulling Blake into him embrace around her and kissing her gently on the lips.

“But that,” Motioning to them and their public display of affection, “that needs to be kept to a minimum around me, for a while at least.” They both nodded, smiles on happy faces. I was happy for them, they were both such wonderful people that deserved an equally wonderful person. James quickly glanced at his wrist watch.

“Oh shit, sorry to run out on you Evie. We've gotta go or we’ll be late getting to the school.” Oh right, the football team had an away game tonight. James was the College Quarterback and Blake was the captain of the cheerleading squad, how did I not see them being a this?

“Oh yeah,” I basically spoke to thin air as they skid out of the room, “of course.” Sighing, I grabbed the mug Blake left behind, sipping the cooling coffee before realizing she had just drank out of it after doing who knows what with my brother. “Okay, ew, gross.” Spitting the liquid into the sink, I startled when arms went around me not having heard them walk back into the room.

I was barely able to supress my scream, tensing at the hold that felt all too much like being held down. It was James, he was safe. Relaxing, I wrapped my arms around him and patted his fluffy hair. “Give em a run for their money, big bro.”

“Always do.” He grinned, moving so Blake could cuddle me into her. “Okay. We gotta go.”

“Don’t flash anyone!” I called as I took her in short skirt, laughing as she flipped me off and grabbed James by the hand. They couldn’t look more different, her in her short skirt and tight top while he was only in sweats and a loose jersey because there was no reason to put on the shoulder pads in the duffle bag he tossed over his shoulder til he got there. She would do her makeup in the car, sparkles getting everywhere but they were a power couple if I’d ever seen one.

I practically slumped into the floor as the door slammed shut, the silence that followed settling into my bones as I was alone for the first time since the incident. I was just lucky they had been so shocked at me finding them out they hadn’t paid enough attention to me to notice the small changes that I knew were written in the bags under my eyes. Letting my body lean heavily against the countertop, I heaved a shaky breath. I was fine, I was going to be fine but first - I needed to turn on music to break this silence.

10:01 pm.

I had been home alone for close to 8 hours, the soft music playing in the background my favourite company as I unpacked my things and settled back into my home. I had, had a one hour bath that I wished had relaxed me more than it did. I had sat there, raspberry bubble bath and vanilla candles filling the air with such a relaxing aroma that I could have fallen asleep had it not been for the fact that I felt like my skin was crawling. The touch, the scent, nothing was helping me escape the feel of that monster on my body. I could feel his hands forming the bruises on my waist and thighs; I could feel the press of his skin body to my limp form and my eyes shot open, after draining before I even realized I was doing it.

The next hour was spent sitting on the bottom of the shower floor, scrubbing at my skin til it was red raw and bleeding.Why couldn’t I get this feeling off of me? Why couldn’t I just be comforted with the fact that I was home, in my own bed and safe? Why couldn’t I shake the feeling like I had walked through a spider web, stuck in the hair thin film and couldn’t get out of it?

I was finally able to settle in my bed, relishing in the feeling of my own sheets and the lavender detergent that truly reminded me of home. We had been using this detergent all my life, it was relaxing, comforting to know that I could have some semblance of normal. That while I felt different, the rest of the world was still doing okay comforted me as much as it freaked me out. Life was still the same here, easy and simple like I hadn’t almost been - okay, that was a dangerous line of thought and I immediately had to shut it down.

I hadn’t cried yet and I certainly wasn’t going to start now. I was exhausted, I needed to sleep not think about that. Letting my eyes fall shut, I curled into a tight ball in my covers as I tried to accept that this was my reality. I was okay, I was home, I was safe and I could breathe.

The sharp buzz of my phone shook me out of my half asleep state, my hand smacking out to grab it figuring that it was probably just Blake checking in on me. They were probably just finishing up the game, James having to go over the plays with his team. She was probably already on the bus, half-asleep as they waited for the boys to get on. My thumb slid the answer button, my phone practically slapping me in the face as I answered.

“Hey, how’d the game go?”

"Did you miss me Evie-Rose?" My eyes shot open, hand pulling the comforter closer to my chest as my breath caught in my throat; No.

“Who is this?”

“Oh don’t play dumb darling, you know exactly who I am.” His voice was thick, scratchy and menacing down the line. Of course I knew who it was. I could never forget that voice.

"How did you-?"

“Get your number?” He clucked his tongue. “No need to worry about that love, I do have a question though. Are you excited to see me?”

“Excuse me?”

“I am thinking of making a trip to LA, visit my favourite girl.”

“If I even sense you near me, I will call the cops.” I couldn’t breath. I wished my voice was strong, unafraid but I was petrified. He knew where I was.

“Aw, is precious Evie scared? Or is that excitement I hear in your voice?” His chuckle was like a siren, the flashing lights of the club that blurred in my mind as I went limp in his hold. “Don’t you worry my love, I will see you soon and you and I, oh, we will have so much fun.”

The line went dead, my phone spilling from my hand and bouncing off the bed and onto the floor. He had my number. He had called me, taunting me with what he was capable of. He was on his way here and I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t think, I couldn’t. A loud knock on the door rocked me to my core as -

I shot up in bed, a scream caught in my throat as I threw my covers off of me. I was sweating, couldn’t make out where I was. It was the street light illuminating pastel walls, the slight tick-tock of my wall clock that brought my stuttered breath to a stop. I was in my room, there was no knocking and the blinking 3:48 on my clock told me that it had all been a startling, overly realistic dream. So that’s how it was going to be. No sleep, just horrid nightmares; great.

“You’re okay Evie, it was just a dream.” Rubbing my hands over my face roughly, I threw my legs over the side of the bed and stumbled to the bathroom. The light was slow flickering on but the moment I met my own eyes in the mirror, I wished I had left it dark. The bags under my eyes were darker than they had been that afternoon, my trembling lips almost as pale as my face and my legs were barely able to hold me up.

My shaky hand flicked on the cold water, cupping the cool liquid in my hand and splashing it on my face. I needed to make sure I wasn’t still dreaming, that the other hadn’t been reality and this the dream. I chilled at the feeling, a shiver running down my spine but I felt more alert and okay. I didn’t spare myself another glance in the mirror as I stumbled out of the bathroom, finding my cellphone under my pillow and dialing the familiar number like I was on autopilot. Pressing the phone to my ear, I pulled myself into a ball in my bed. I had to hold onto the childhood feeling that being under the covers meant I was safe from the monsters lurking in shadowed corners.

“Evie?” His voice was the complete opposite from the one in the dream. It was deep, sleep-filled and concerned. “What’s wrong,” He cleared his throat as it cracked, “everything okay?”

“I need you.” Is all I could get out, the lump in my throat too thick and my mind pounding as I tried to formulate a sentence. “Please. I can’t be alone.”

There was a rustling on the other side of the phone, the sound of a door slamming a moment later and she didn’t need to ask him to know he was already in the car.

“I’m on my way.”

He didn’t knock, simply used the key above the door as I had to get in. I wasn’t leaving the safety of my bed, not when he was still breathing down the phone to make sure I was okay. He kept his footsteps soft as he walked up the stairs, the creaking of my bedroom door an almost silent creak as he stepped in. I had rolled to my side, phone to my ear but back to the door and he didn’t say anything as he kicked off his shoes and squatted down beside my bed.

The line went dead, but the silence was no longer so quiet with his laboured breathing echoing in the room.

“Evie-Rose?”

“I can’t get the feel of him off of me.”

“Oh baby.” He started, startling as I rolled over quickly to face him. I didn’t realize I was crying til his hand reached out, pausing partway through to see if I’d pull away before letting his thumb wipe away the tear. “What do you mean?”

“It’s like his touch is everywhere and I know he’s not here but I can still feel him touching me. Then I had this nightmare and I, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you but I didn’t know who else to call.” A sob poured from my lips and any inhabitions he had flew out the window as he gathered me in his arms, scooting me over as he settled himself on top of the covers.

I curled myself into him, feeling every inch of his lean strength as his arms tightened around me. It wasn’t the same as the dark hold I’d felt a few days ago. No this was love, this was caring, this was brute strength trying to hold me together in the purest of ways. It hit me like a punch to the face; I hadn’t felt like I was at home all day because this man right here had at some point started to feel like safety, love, home to me.

“I need a little time.” I started, tightening my arms when he tried to pull back to see me. If he looked at me, I wouldn’t be able to say what I had to. “I need a little time before I can say yes, to you, to this, to us. I know I don’t deserve you,” His arms pulled me impossibly closer to him, “but if you just give me a little time, if you wait for me then I will try. Please, just don’t leave me Luke.”

His lips pressed to the side of my head, trailing along my cheek in slow, lingering wisps before a single kiss pressed to the corner of my mouth like he was writing me the most beautiful vow.

He pulled my chin up so our eyes met, “Love isn’t measured by how long you wait but how well you understand what you’re waiting for, and I would wait forever if it meant I got to hold you for a minute Evie-Rose.”

And when he kissed me, I could only feel his heart beating with mine.

A/n: Hi all you lovely people!! So im sorry that this is later than i said it would be, i got really sick on the last 2 days and the flight back from Thailand and the fever kinda kept me in bed till today. BUT IM BACK!! and chapters shall be posted on time from now on ahah Which is every second Friday, which the next one is the 17th of February! @mukeafcakeaf and i have been so much into this story and we really hope that you guys are loving it and even if youre not were still gonna write it because we can ahah Kisses ~Emma xxx <3

[fandomwritingau]

Consequences- Chapter 20

Trigger Warning: Panic Attack, mentions of being drugged, mentions of sexual assault.

Evie

Two days of white walls, meaningless TV and silences that should never feel so empty. Especially with someone who used to fill them with their presence. I couldn’t even look his way, not if I didn’t want to receive heartbroken stares - another wonderful side effect of being drugged. Nothing sounded as good as the doctor telling me I could leave, that I was healed enough physically to fly home. I was smart enough to know the inflection on physically meant a lot more than what he was saying..

But in a pair of Luke’s sweatpants and Calum’s old soccer shirt, I felt unstoppable - alright perhaps I just felt more okay like I wasn't about to fall apart.

That is til La Guardia airport was in view. We could hear the sharp whir of engines using all cylinders to lift passenger planes from the inside the car, almost loud enough to drown out the sou nd of people yelling and car doors slamming.

Oh and screams from the literal hoards of fans surrounding the front entrance to the airport. Everything in me screamed in the loudest decibel humanly possible to stay in the car, to protect myself from everything outside this metal box but my heart ached for my bedroom, my safety. Stepping out of the vehicle, I tried my absolute hardest not to flinch at the hand Luke extended to help me out of the car, refusing to meet his eyes as I practically fall from the SUV. My body leaned into him instinctively, knowing that I still healing in every form because when someone drugs you with Ketamine it apparently likes to stick around in your system for a bit.

“You good?” His hot breath danced on my chilled skin, my hand pulling from his and automatically pulling my coat tighter around me as I nodded. He stepped away, hurt flashing in his eyes but letting the understanding sweep in a moment later. Him understanding almost made it worse, it made it real.

“You better keep a hold of her, the people out here are wild.” The airport security informed, opening the side door to the waiting fans with a sharp “back up!” rolling off his tongue. One of the reached for me and I was silently glad I didn’t have to deal with that.

Then there were flashes from every angle like the pulsing disco lights from the club, the screams like the chatter of people unknowingly witnessing my attempted rape. The shove that sent me tumbling to the ground was the straw that broke through my resolve, ripping me to shreds as my hands hit the floor and the boys’ tall frames disappeared from view as all I could see was legs, legs and more legs.

Oh would you look at that, I was panicking.

I was no stranger to panic attacks although I hadn’t had one in a while. It made me miss Australia even more, being in my own house had calmed the recurring attacks. I knew my parents were the root of my anxiety issues, that had always expected so much of me and  was never able to please them. Okay, thinking about my parents right now wasn’t really helping. Clenching my hands into the tarmac of the terminal, I mentally begged myself to calm down. I had never had  panic attack in public and I certainly didn’t want to start now. I didn’t know what to do, I couldn’t even think let alone pull myself together.

“Evie? Ev’s?” A strong hand grasped my shoulder, another going around my waist to lift me from the floor. My body tensed, trying to decide if I should fight or drop.

“Can't, I can’t, please.” Was all I could whimper as my back hit a chest and my face was shielded by a clammy hand.

“I know, it's okay. I have you, I'm gonna take you to the bathroom.”

“Who?” Another twist in my gut, who? Why? Not again, please not again.

“Michael, it's Michael.”

It was like a breath of relief actually being able to, well, breathe. I was okay. I was with Michael. He was safe, he wouldn't hurt me.

“Okay.” At my agreement, he started to move quickly, grip tight around me as he led me away from the crowd and ignored the calls of fans as he manhandled me around. I felt the chill of the bathroom before I realized where we were. It was one of those single room family bathrooms, secluded and thankfully clean as he tried to turn me in his arms but wound up leaving me completely unsupported as I dropped to the ground.

“Okay, I am literally the worst person to have found you because honestly, I have no idea what to do and telling you to breathe sounds like a dumb thing to say but it's all I can think of to say and I should have told Luke but I realized you weren't there and I didn't think because I was really, really scared and oh, you are breathing normally now, are you okay?”

I hadn't even realized that his rambling had distracted me enough that I wasn't thinking about everything, nothing, too much and focusing on the word vomit Michael was experiencing. He was inches from me, crouched on his knees and I didn't think as I reached out, pulling him into a hug as I burst into tears. No, not tears. Sobs, like full body, ugly, heart-wrenching sobs.

“This I can handle.” He mumbled, sitting on folded legs as he pulled me into his lap and just let me cry like a baby. I should feel embarrassed, scared or something but I was too tired, exhausted, emotional to care. His fingers ran through my hair, soothing me with his presence and steady heartbeat.

“I'm sorry.” He spoke as my tears dried up and my body stiffened. Ashton had told me in a brief moment that only one of the boys was with me that Michael was blaming himself and I had been waiting for him to bring it up so I could slap some sense into him. “I am so sorry.”

“Listen to me cause I am only saying this once,” My voice was weak, rough from crying but I couldn't let him think he was to blame. “You didn't do anything. I was the one who made the decision to go with Jo- him. And as much as I blame myself for this, I know he's the one who did it and I have to stop blaming myself and you have to too because you did nothing so shut up and help me off this floor before people start looking for us.”

His smile wasn't convincing but mine was enough to reassure him into listening to me although I doubted this conversation was over and he certainly wasn't going to let me having a panic attack go, try as I was to escape the conversation, but this wasn't the place.

As he held open the door to the bathroom, I leaned up to press my lips to his cheek.

“Thank you.”

“I am always here if you need me.” There was a small silence as I walked out with him close by. Luckily the crowd had thinned thanks to good security and we slid through unnoticed. I turned to him as we started to walk into the waiting room for the gate.

“Does this make us best friends now?”

With a grin, he shook his head and patted mine as he responded, “There she is.”

After 8 hours on a plane and no sleep, my tired body was planted firmly on the ground 2801.7 miles from the city that never sleeps, hopefully now I would be able to. I have never felt so exhausted in all my life but being moments away from my bedroom made it better. Sighing, I relaxed into the ‘hump’ seat I had been shoved into between Luke and Michael. A security guard in the passenger seat kept glancing around the car, checking the boys over and texting someone - presumably his wife  - as he chatted with the driver quietly. Calum and Ashton sat behind us, each of them had a knee in my back. Everyone was zoned out, halfway asleep but I was wired. Every sense in my body heightened with each bump, every thing in my body aching seeing as I hadn’t been allowed to take my medication on the plane.

Honestly, I mostly dreaded that James might be there. I didn’t want to have to explain this to him, especially why he didn’t a call seeing as he is her emergency contact - Luke kind of lied to them and said he was. If luck was on my side for once he would have already left for his season opening football game. If not, he would know something was up right away if only from the exhaustion written on my face. I didn’t want to have to lie to him.

A tap on my arm pulled me from my thoughts, my head lolling to the side to face Michael. Smiling sadly, he pulled up the notepad on his phone, passing it to me.

How’s it going?

Staring blankly at the screen for a moment, I finally shook my head and tossed the phone back into his lap. I didn’t want to talk anymore. I didn’t want to do anything but climb into bed with more blankets than I could count. He tapped quickly, practically shoving the phone in my face.

I get that you don’t want to talk but can you at least tell me if you’re okay?

Sighing, I felt like I owed him that. I’m sorry, I’m just tired but I’m fine. He gave me an I-don’t-buy-that look but patted my knee - I barely stifled a jolt - and closed his eyes. A few moments later the car pulled to a stop in front of my apartment complex, rolling to a stop as the security guard stepped out of the passenger side and went to retrieve my bags.

“Here, I will walk you up.” Luke had to slide out of the car first anyway so I could get out but first I had to say my goodbyes to the boys. Kneeling on the seat, I pat Cal and Ash on the knees and their eyes barely open as they wrap me in a hug, promising to call me in a little while. But it was Michael that made me practically sprint from the car, tears pricking in my eyes.

“You’re going to be okay, I will make sure of it.” I don’t know why the words meant so much, perhaps it’s because I thought of him as an older brother or because I knew he meant it. Either way, I had to get out of the car before I cried.

Luke’s eyes followed me as I stepped out of the car, not offering to help now. I don't know if it  was regret or concern. I was going to ignore it til I absolutely had to deal with it. Stepping onto the sidewalk, I waved to the boys and accepted the bag from the security guard.

“Ready?” He questioned, hand reaching for me but faltering halfway through. It was a little of both.

“Ye- No. I don’t really know.” I sighed, heaving the bag on my shoulder only to have it ripped away. He was throwing it onto his shoulder before I could even react.

I’ll carry it, you lead the way.” His smile was like a breath of relief. He wasn’t mad at me, he was hurt but he truly didn’t blame me. His smile always had that effect.

Reaching the door, I stretched up on my toes to feel around the door frame for the spare key. I was forgetful enough, I didn’t think carrying my house key to New York City was a good idea. Grazing my fingertips along the wooden frame, I finally found the smooth metal.

“Aha.” I mumbled, dropping onto my heels as I whirled around to face Luke. Inhaling sharply, I stepped away quickly as we almost bumped into each other. His eyes locked on mine, flickering to my lips as we fell silent. Laughing uncomfortably, I ran a hand through my hair as I started to speak.

“Thank you Luke, for everything. I know it’s been, um, difficult considering-,” He cut me off with a wave of his hand, awkwardly scratching at his beard. He hummed for a moment, speaking quietly.

“You never need to thank me Evie, I’d do anything for you. I don’t care what we are, or what we were. I just,“ Sighing, he locked eyes with me. “I am always here for you, whatever you need.”

Now I felt worse. How could I do this to him? Not even that, how could he not be mad at me? I know I didn’t do anything wrong, I need to care for myself right now but the heartbreak in his eyes that he thinks I can’t see means more to me than he knows. I didn’t know he liked me that much, I didn’t know I had that ability to break his heart and yet I had already abused it.

“I know you need to be alone right now but,” Hooking his fingers under my chin, he pulled my eyes to his. “If you need me, at all, then you call. I don’t care when or why. If you need me, call.”

I didn’t know what to do besides nod, eyes falling away as he let go of my chin and I turned to unlock the door. My hands were shaking, the key missing ‘til his hand leveled mine and he smiled at me with a soft nod as he dropped my bag to the ground. Then he brushed a piece of hair from my face, breathing shakily before turning on his heel and walking down the stairs to the car. All I could do was wonder how someone like him existed and how I was lucky enough to know him.

All I knew was a simple fact; I didn’t deserve him.

A/N: Hi lovelies, so i know that this is a day late, but i had family and friends up and we ended up going out for dinner and i got side tracked. But its here! And i also wanted to tell you that the next chapter will not be posted until the Sunday night/ Monday morning after the next date. This is because i am going to Thailand with my family for a week and i wont have my laptop with me.

Kisses

~Emma xxx <3

[fandomwritingau]

you okay? You're last activity was concerning

Ummm to be completely honest kinda not really. I guess there's just been some things going on that I'm not dealing with that well at the moment. But also the fact that my anxiety is playing up isn't helping at all. But I'll be okay eventually. Thanks for caring xxx

[fandomwritingau]

So, I think I may have had my first panic attack last night....

And I don’t know how to feel right now…..

[fandomwritingau]

Sometimes, I really hate who I am.

[fandomwritingau]

Prompt List?

Okay so, ive got a few days off and im all by myself! I was hoping that you guys could send in some requests, either from this prompt list or anything else for that matter. Dependent on the request it may be a blurb or something a bit longer who knows. But i would really love it if you guys could help me out with this xxx

If you could also give me which boy you would like it with that would be great! And if you also have any ideas you im open to attempting them for you xxx

PROMPT LIST

1. “Let’s do something….” (Add an adjective to the end eg. Exciting, spontaneous)

2. “Which hospital?”

3. “I’ve never ever done anything like this before.”

4. “Why do you love me?”

5. “What did I ever do to deserve this?”

6. “You’re my freedom.”

7. “Leave me alone.”

8. “I’m in the bubbles.”

9.“Where have you been?”

10. “I do.”

11. “I’m gonna kill you.”

12. “You’re beautiful inside and out.”

13. “What do you mean you’re stuck?”

14. “How did we end up here?”

15. “Let me go.”

16. “How can you bend that way?”

17. “Insecurities?”

18. “They hate me.”

19. “How do you put up with her?”

20. “Stop throwing that at me!!”

21. “How did you manage that?”

22. “Do you trust me?”

23. “Don’t trust me.”

24. “Can I keep you?”

25. “Do you wanna build a snowman?”

26. “You saved me.”

27. “I’m sorry.”

28. “Do you want to have dinner tomorrow? Just the two of us?”

29. “You promised you’d never hurt me.”

30. “You know you love me”

31. “We need to talk.”

32. “Its 3am! Why are you calling me?”

33. “Marry me.”

34. “I’m pregnant.”

35. “I love you and I’m terrified.”

36. “Cuddle?”

37. “I can’t help it okay?”

38: “ I wish I wasn’t like this”

39. “You move and this goes flying.”

40. “I’m burning!”

41. “You scared me.”

42. “Today I learned the truth.”

43. “I never stood a chance did i?”

44. “I think I broke (him/her/them)”

45. “You seem to visit me every night, sometimes in my dreams, sometimes in my nightmares.”

46. “You really have no clue who i am?”

47. “On a scale of one to Australia,  how dangerous are we talking?”

48. “If we get arrested, its your fault.”

49. “You were given wings, so fly.”

50. “Life is about playing to win.”

Kisses

~Emma xxx <3

Request //// Masterlist