fanglulim

[fanglulim]

AsianBakedGoods — First Pop-Up event 11/12/22

[fanglulim]

Some pics from my iPad, mostly taken from FaceTime.

[fanglulim]

Hi!

It’s been awhile. Reflecting 2022, its been great and tough.

Looking back, i worked for a toy company who did a name change > lost all my colleagues > new company with 4 employees > shut down > i worked part time to shut down, i became a part time cook to support myself > mentally and physically tired > quit the toxic relationship with the owner, learned that someone will take advantage of me even though I’m genuine, i seek mental help > went for 4 sessions, I’m studying MBA > changed my major from data analytics to IT, took a WebDev Bootcamp > graduated with a certificate > a web developer but not a professional one, i learned about myself more > have a smaller friend circle, i realize I’m lonely and that’s ok, i had a mental breakdown in Q1 & Q2 of 22 and i think I’m over it, i haven’t been home for 3 years and finally bought a ticket home for CNY 2023, i became a founder of Asianbakedgoods, i learned how to make a bunch of Malaysian food in Q1 > i don’t even want to cook now, i found out i ate a lot of instant noodle and fast food this year > 90% of 22?, i almost forget about my mom’s birthday > cried that no one wished her even though she was there for everyone, i went to a few concerts > EDC > 88 rising > saw some artist and have new experience.

Started hiking but failed to maintain, cut my 3 years long hair, first time buying merchandise from a YouTuber and an artist (Jackson’s W) > i know it was compulsive decision, found out that i don’t really have friends that i could talk to them about deep conversations, found out that I’m a servant leader which i did not aim to be, not really satisfied about myself but I’m still proud of myself > ??, had some relationship struggles, trying to quit vaping but failed a few times > aiming to stop completely at the end of 2022, met a few new friends which is great, thankful for my mom and family, thankful for my friends, learned be more appreciative, brother came to LA > hangout for 3 days (my car did not got tolled this time) > he slept over at my place > went sightsee at Joshua Tree, still kinda broke but surviving, turned 26 and still lost in life, learned to forgive and forget, still trying to improve myself but always procrastinate, started watching earth and space mysteries videos, have a supportive and loving boyfriend, lead a developer team > developed a website > project was cancelled > afraid of data leaked > switched to Shopify, at one point i realize I’m lonely but that’s adulthood, learned that i have to treat myself better.

I fucking got covid a month ago > realize my lungs is fucked up > paranoid for a few days, wrote a suicide note in Q1 of 2022 > was childish but at that moment i still couldn’t do it because i thought about my parents, my e-bike was stolen > found out at 3am > first time called 911 > went to the air tag location but couldn’t find my bike > babysit Shady > did a police report the next day > police tow the fucking Jeep > got my bike back > fixed my bike > still not working need maintenance, Working at gx but paid by nrya > worked a extra hours but not getting paid > felt like I’m mentally and physically draining > working with a leader that does not guide > figuring out everything myself > worked at marketing, operations, supply chain, finance, warehouse, outreach > this week finally working with a big toy manufacturer > still working on the deal > excited and afraid for my future, learned a lot from MBA at a managerial level, almost thinking to quit my job in Q4 to go back for good, worked with a friend on a hair brand photo shoot > learned to edit photos > didn’t get paid like i should but is fine because you found out that people can be selfish sometimes, went to Vegas for a bachelor and bachelorette party in Q3 > lost in gamble > went pool party and did not went into the pool because it was disgusting af and my skin allergy > got really drunk > had a great time, glad that i now I’m still feeling okay even though i think i been through a lot.

I dm-ed celebrity which is mind blowing LMAO, learned that life is not perfect and i need to work hard for myself, felted useless at some point in 22. started growing tomatoes in Q3 of 22 > failed to maintain, babysit a new cat “Pamola” for a few days, worked at a warehouse job for a few days for extra cash > leared about start-up structure not entirely but have an idea, appreciate my friends who think about me sometimes, found out that i would always put everyone else first > trying to love myself more?, grateful to have my boyfriend as my support system > teaching me new values, lost a family member who call me pong pong, stop meditating > i know i should, stop praying > i know i should, happy for my friends and their growth, still disappointed about myself > still procrastinate to improve, found out I couldn’t eat too much sugar > skin issues, bought ikon pass > did not went to any run, grow-ed some weed > round 1 was perfect > round 2 was a fail Q1-2 of 22, promised to improve my grade but still think I failed to push myself, finally got a couch in my living room, trying to be creative and get out of my comfort zone.

I realize i overthink and have stressful times but i learned that I’m just giving myself too much pressure and demand. I think that’s about it. Although the timeline is abit eff-ed up, had grammar errors, as long as i can remember it’s all good.

Overall i rate 2022, 65% satisfaction, i think see growth in myself, felt satisfied about my maturity, thankful to have friends and family that gives me positive energy. Although I’m afraid to grow up because everyone around me, especially my parents is getting old but I think that’s life right? The other 35% of dissatisfaction comes of procrastination and disappointment of myself. It’s okay not to be okay and perfect, learning that i have flaws and its alright.

After all, i think i did a lot and I should be proud of my self. I’m proud of you! 2022 is almost over, i can do better next year. Still cant believe I’m a founder of asianbakedgoods, thinking about strategies and leading a team. I know that I’m not a good communicator in speaking up about my feelings, thoughts, and goals. I’m still trying to learn about myself more. Not sure how life will be next year but i will try to balance my mental and physical health.

Lastly, to my future self, one day you will be looking back to this post, let me know how have you been and keep up with the reflection. Although life may be hard but you know you can get over it. Just be patient, when the time comes it will come. You’re awesome and you’re amazing. I hope by the time you read this, you’re a better version of yourself. Remember, life doesn’t goes that way you wanted but only you can navigate your life.

Adios!

Love, dangly. — 121622 10.12pm Tarzana, CA.

[fanglulim]

🍋 (at MangoTango)

[fanglulim]

Some days you just have to create your own sunshine.

[fanglulim]

Never loose your sense of wonder.

[fanglulim]

at 彩虹眷村

[fanglulim]

at 逄甲夜巿

[fanglulim]

[fanglulim]

[fanglulim]

Shits just hit you harder at night.

[fanglulim]

C O C O N U T I C E - C R E A M .

[fanglulim]

Be careful who you trust.

[fanglulim]

A place to shop. Hatyai, Thailand.

[fanglulim]

All girls should have a poem written for them even if we have to turn this Goddamn world upside down to do it.

Richard Brautigan, “All Girls Should Have a Poem” (via feellng)

[fanglulim]

Interior Design of Starbucks. Kapal Singh Drive, Penang. Malaysia.

[fanglulim]

Escape was my 1st job ever since. Working was never a choice. I choose it work not because i have no money to spend i just an experience for me. 

Choosing Escape because im a hyper girl, i like to be free with nature and escape was a place to enjoy nature and having lots of fun. 

I've been there like alot because of applying ESCAPE PASSPORT. For the first time i went was 2012 nov. Everthing inside was not cheap at all. 

i remember last year 2013 oct i went there to interview a job after plying whole day overthere. As a customer is weird that you interview like that, HAHA. i have no idea whats a interview was like until i enter my manager room [God damn it, im fcking scared and nervous.] After lots of lots of questions and forms. i went home with a big smile. 

Day by day, no text or calls from anyone. That makes me disappoints and sad. until the next weekend is coming, walking home after school looking at phone {you have 2 massages}. At that moment standing at the middle of the road looking through those massages, BAMMM! Digi wants me to pay my phone bills HAHA Then another massage is from a random people it says : [ hey, its swang from escape, you can come tmr 8.30sharp] That smile immediately shown above my face. i was sooooo happy. 

Right! i got in to a ticketing department.

Few weeks working, it was supper tired and stress. Imagine it with those bastard customers and repeating to hundreds of people for a day. Damn life is hard. ahahha 

Missing that piece of land so much, memorise and amazing people i meet there. Cant wait till the next water there park is open, its oppesite Escape. Time flies real quick.