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tbh I really dislike how aphobia tends to be discussed whenever there's some kind of incident that makes it visible to general society. The most common response seems to be some variation of "why would anyone hate asexual/aromantic people, they aren't even doing anything" and it just always sits wrong with me. It paints such a passive picture of our existence and feels like a comment influenced by the level of invisibility that aspec people have in society. Why would you be annoyed by someone who is practically invisible? Just go back to ignoring their existence, it's easy!

But despite the invisibility, aspec people are actually doing quite a lot of things that will piss off queerphobic, right-wing and religious people (and hell, even left-wing people). And the most obvious point is that we are actively not performing heterosexuality the way they want us to. People who's entire world view is "cis men and women should be in monogamous, heterosexual marriage and have (white) babies" are not going to lean back and say "oh but those asexuals and aromantics are fine". They will also hate our guts, and they will come up with all sorts of reasons, including insinuating we're all secretly into bestiality, or mentally ill, or not human, or attention seeking children. It's just plain old queerphobia, and like all queerphobia, there's no inherent logic to it which you can worm your way out of by "not doing anything".

And like, there's a lot more that aspec people do which people hate. Raising awareness about amatonormativity? People feel attacked, they hate it. Asexual people having sex? Or not having sex? People hate it! Aromantic people being in (seemingly) romantic relationships? People fucking hate it! Aromantic people having sex? Ohh people hate that!!

I guess the existence of aphobia can be confusing when you haven't spent much time thinking about asexuality and aromanticism, but in the end, these are identities that aren't heteronormative and they will be hit with the same or similar bigotry as any other queer identity. I just get tired of this response after seeing it recycled for 10 years without ever seeming to go any further.

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pls rb if you think cuddling doesn't have to be s3xual

im tryna prove a point to my bf's mother help me out

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BRO THIS IS SO ME RN??? Anyone else????

Found on a post by @fic-dumpster

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"I put my heart and my soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process." - Vincent Van Gogh

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... uh oh

really y'all? right in the middle of my RVB rewatch binge???

time to dust off the ol' concepts

RVB OC Week Potential Ideas

Possible themes for each day, with examples of what could be done

(from @rubykgrant)

1- Introduction (Name, backstory, general info. Skills and abilities, weapons/special gear, designs with or without armor. Original OCs, self-inserts, and side characters who have been expanded on are welcome. Art, 3D models, dress-up game/icon makers, aesthetic/moodboards, playlists, text/writing all good examples. A single OC or multiple are fine)

2- Red Team/Blue Team (Would they be with the Reds or the Blues we know, Flag Zealots, Temple's group of Blues and Reds, with a totally different set of Red/Blue teams, or "in the middle" like Doc)

3- Project Freelancer and Charon (For any OCs who are Freelancers, or OCs who interact with them, such as scientists and pilots. Maybe the OC isn’t part of the program, but still knows some Freelancers. OCs who were part of Charon/the Insurrectionists, directly part of the fighting or involved in other ways)

4- AI/Robots and Other Worldly (For OCs who have an AI companion/interact with the AI, or perhaps ARE an AI. New AI Fragments, floating orbs/AI gods. Robots, vehicles/ships with their own personality. OCs that are different kinds of space aliens/creatures, OCs that aren’t human)

5- Chorus and Mercs (Would an OC be with the Feds or the News, friends with the Lieutenants or an assistant to Dr. Grey. Would they be part of the Mercenaries, either working with Felix and Locus/a different kind of space pirate)

6- Relationships (For any dating/romantic ships, friends and close companions, QPR, polyamory, found-family/long-lost relatives/time-traveling ancestors/descendants, etc. OCs having relationships with existing characters or other OCs welcome. Creators can ask each other if OCs can be paired together)

7- Energy Sword Sunday (OCs who have "Great Keys", any ideas about how it was acquired/how it is used, activating temples/ancient technology, any quests or prophecies, or epic sword fights with other wielders)

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I've been watching Tron and its various sequels and spin-offs recently for some reason, and it occurs to me... Sam Flynn is a techbro failson, right?

Like, he's not a kid. Bro is twenty-seven years old, a college dropout, with no job, living off the income his rich dad left behind but not doing anything productive with it other than occasional x-treme sports and some light vandalism of the company he is nominally responsible for but doesn't care to actually run. He gets arrested so often the guy at the impound lot knows him by first name.

He also constantly has to get bailed out by the old man and by a much more capable woman once he ends up in way over his head.

I think I prefer Beck. Beck was working-class. Beck was about building solidarity. Tron picked him, but Beck had to scrabble and claw for everything; he inherited nothing.

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"Okay, what's true and what's bullshit?" "Excuse me?!" "Look, cut the crap, I know you're a vampire, and you've been stalking me for whatever reason. I just want to know what's real and what's not. Am I dealing with Bram Stoker or Stephanie Meyer here?"

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You, a werewolf, are forced to work the night shift. You really can’t afford to lose this job, so you go to work, determined not to maul anybody and hopefully keep your identity a secret.

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A general cane guide for writers and artists (from a cane user, writer, and artist!)

Disclaimer: Though I have been using a cane for 6 years, I am not a doctor, nor am I by any means an expert. This guide is true to my experience, but there are as many ways to use a cane as there are cane users!

This guide will not include: White canes for blindness, crutches, walkers, or wheelchairs as I have no personal experience with these.

This is meant to be a general guide to get you started and avoid some common mishaps/misconceptions in your writing, but you absolutely should continue to do your own research outside of this guide!

This is NOT a medical resource!!! And never tell a real person you think they're using a cane wrong!

The biggest recurring problem I've seen is using the cane on the wrong side. The cane goes on the opposite side of the pain! If your character has even-sided pain or needs it for balance/weakness, then use the cane in the non-dominant hand to keep the dominant hand free. Some cane users also switch sides to give their arm a rest!

A cane takes about 20% of your weight off the opposite leg. It should fit within your natural gait and become something of an extension of your body. If you need more weight off than 20%, then crutches, a walker, or a wheelchair is needed.

Putting more pressure on the cane, using it on the wrong side, or having it at the wrong height can make it less effective, and can cause long term damage to your body from improper pressure and posture. (Hugh Laurie genuinely hurt his body from years of using a cane wrong on House!)

(some people elect to use a cane wrong for their personal situation despite this, everyone is different!)

(an animated GIF of a cane matching the natural walking gait. It turns red when pressure is placed on it.)

When going up and down stairs, there is an ideal standard: You want to use the handrail and the cane at the same time, or prioritize the handrail if it's only on one side. When going up stairs you lead with your good leg and follow with the cane and hurt leg together. When going down stairs you lead with the cane and the bad leg and follow with the good leg!

Realistically though, many people don't move out of the way for cane users to access the railing, many stairs don't have railings, and many are wet, rusty, or generally not ideal to grip.

In these cases, if you have a friend nearby, holding on to them is a good idea. Or, take it one step at a time carefully if you're alone.

Now we come to a very common mistake I see... Using fashion canes for medical use!

(These are 4 broad shapes, but there is INCREDIBLE variation in cane handles. Research heavily what will be best for your character's specific needs!)

The handle is the contact point for all the weight you're putting on your cane, and that pressure is being put onto your hand, wrist, and shoulder. So the shape is very important for long term use!

Knob handles (and very decorative handles) are not used for medical use for this reason. It adds extra stress to the body and can damage your hand to put constant pressure onto these painful shapes.

The weight of a cane is also incredibly important, as a heavier cane will cause wear on your body much faster. When you're using it all day, it gets heavy fast! If your character struggles with weakness, then they won't want a heavy cane if they can help it!

This is also part of why sword canes aren't usually very viable for medical use (along with them usually being knob handles) is that swords are extra weight!

However, a small knife or perhaps a retractable blade hidden within the base might be viable even for weak characters.

Bases have a lot of variability as well, and the modern standard is generally adjustable bases. Adjustable canes are very handy if your character regularly changes shoe height, for instance (gotta keep the height at your hip!)

Canes help on most terrain with their standard base and structure. But for some terrain, you might want a different base, or to forego the cane entirely! This article covers it pretty well.

Many cane users decorate their canes! Stickers are incredibly common, and painting canes is relatively common as well! You'll also see people replacing the standard wrist strap with a personalized one, or even adding a small charm to the ring the strap connects to. (nothing too large, or it gets annoying as the cane is swinging around everywhere)

(my canes, for reference)

If your character uses a cane full time, then they might also have multiple canes that look different aesthetically to match their outfits!

When it comes to practical things outside of the cane, you reasonably only have one hand available while it's being used. Many people will hook their cane onto their arm or let it dangle on the strap (if they have one) while using their cane arm, but it's often significantly less convenient than 2 hands. But, if you need 2 hands, then it's either setting the cane down or letting it hang!

For this reason, optimizing one handed use is ideal! Keeping bags/items on the side of your free hand helps keep your items accessible.

When sitting, the cane either leans against a wall or table, goes under the chair, or hooks onto the back of the chair. (It often falls when hanging off of a chair, in my experience)

When getting up, the user will either use their cane to help them balance/support as they stand, or get up and then grab their cane. This depends on what it's being used for (balance vs pain when walking, for instance!)

That's everything I can think of for now. Thank you for reading my long-but-absolutely-not-comprehensive list of things to keep in mind when writing or drawing a cane user!

Happy disability pride month! Go forth and make more characters use canes!!!

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IF (hypothetically) the FBI actually enforced that law, I would get life in prison without parole (hypothetically)

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My commissions are open!! Please check out on my portfolio that highlights my two styles.

Chibi Style: Starts at $20.

Full Style: Starts at $30.

I Will Draw: OCs Fanart/Fandoms Anthro Suggestive Mild Gore (small wounds, cuts, blood) Robot Prosthetics* Heavy Armor*

*May be subjected to complexity upcharge that will not exceed $15.

I Will Not Draw: NSFW Furry Animals Mecha Extreme Gore

I detail my process on my terms of service.

You can start by filling out my commission form.

I can't wait to work with you!  🤎

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Wait, pickup lines are supposed to be sincere and they're NOT jokes????

Like, people take them seriously?? Correct me if I'm wrong but I've never met a person who actually used a pick up line as flirting.

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It took me a while to figure out I was demisexual, because I'd always heard it defined as "only experiencing sexual attraction when you've formed a strong emotional bond with someone." But, I discovered last year that that's not the only framework for understanding demisexuality!

Sharing this guide by Rebe Libe as an informational post about demisexuality!

What is demisexuality? What does it mean to be demisexual?

Demisexuals don't experience primary sexual attraction. Primary sexual attraction is based on sight or smell or other instantly available information.

Demisexuals do experience secondary sexual attraction (after knowing more about the person than just their looks). How much demisexuals need to know about said person and for how long they need to know about them for secondary sexual attraction to kick in varies from person to person.

Is it the same for allosexuals?

Allosexuals experience primary sexual attraction but that doesn't mean they want to act on it all the time, it's just a feeling.

They also experience secondary sexual attraction in the sense that they find a person extra attractive if they are attracted for who they are as a person.

Is it the same for asexuals?

Asexuals don't experience primary nor secondary sexual attraction.

Do demisexuals need to have romantic feelings for a person in order to experience sexual attraction towards them?

No, demisexuals don't need to have romantic feelings for a person to be sexually attracted to them.

It is common for both sexual attraction and romantic attraction to be present at the same time, so it can be confused as both needing to be present for secondary sexual attraction to develop but it's not necessary.

Demisexuals can enjoy a person’s presence or be attracted to some of their qualities without having an interest in dating them or building a romantic relationship with them.

Do I have to have a BOND with the person to be attracted to them?

No, attraction for demis can also be one-sided.

You can feel like you know a person and enjoy what they show or share about themselves without personally knowing them that much or at all.

Or course how much demisexuals need to know about a person, before they feel sexually attracted to them, really varies from person to person. There's no specific timeline on how long it takes either.

Can demisexuals be sexually attracted to celebrities or influencers?

Yes, demisexuals can feel attracted to celebrities, it's easy to get to imagine how a person's personality is, without personally getting to know them, with all the info celebrities usually share about their lives in interviews and their own personal plataforms.

That doesn't mean you actually know who they are or if they are being genuine or not, but you can still feel attracted for how you think they are.

Can demisexuals be sexually attracted to fictional characters?

Yes, demisexuals can be attracted to fictional characters, it's also common for demisexuals to be attracted to a character played by an actor but feel no attraction to the actor themself. Demisexuals can also experience sexual attraction towards fictional characters in other media, like books, webcomics, etc.

Can demisexuals have sex with people they aren't sexually attracted to?

Demisexuality is about attraction, NOT action. Demis can definitely have or want sex even without needing to be sexually attracted to the other person.

The same thing happens with asexuals, there are asexuals who enjoy sex for different reasons. They could enjoy the feeling itself, the activity with their partners, etc.

There are also demis who don't desire sex without feeling sexually attracted to the other person. Both things are normal, it more so depends on the person's attitute toward sex.

What are the different attitudes towards sex? (this terminology is also applicable to, and comes from, the wider ace community)

Sex repulsed: Feeling repulsed, uninterested or uncomfortable by the though of engaging in sex. Sex-repulsed aces don't want to engage sexually and that's okay.

Sex-indifferent: No particular feelings toward sex. You might enjoy it but you could also live without it. It could also mean literal "indifference": no positive or negative feelings toward it. Just neutral. Sex indifferent aces might not pursue sex but be okay with engaging.

Sex-favorable: You enjoy sex for multiple reasons and would seek it out (to get or give physical pleasure, as an activity with a partner, etc.). ~~~ Hopefully that was informative! I also want to name that demisexuality is a spectrum. Some demis do need to be deeply bonded and have only experienced sexual attraction a handful of times in their entire lives. I, on the other hand, am at the opposite end of that spectrum and can experience attraction after spending just a few days with someone. What we have in common, though, is that we don't experience primary attraction; most of the time I don't develop romantic or sexual feelings that I want to act on when I first meet someone, even people who I end up being very attracted to.

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How I explain my sexuality(Demisexual) ~Rollercoaster edition~

I know what Rollercoasters are, You don't have to explain it to me.

It's not that I don't like rollercoasters; I can see how fun they are for other people and understand why they enjoy the ride but it's not that fun for me, and yes, I've tried them.

I enjoy the idea of them, and I like watching and even discussing rollercoasters no problem. However, it's only after realy getting to know this one ride after years of observation did I actually want to ride.

And then I was all in, I was laughing, I was screaming, whooping and hollering just like anyone else who enjoys rides but for me, that's the ONLY ride I go on.

I hope this helps <3 (My favorite ride is the Zipper)