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things in the household have been pretty hard.

it’s just me and my mom, and we live in a shared space.

i guess i should give my backstory,

i’m clinically diagnosed with depression and anxiety.

i developed it late 2015

attempted tw!suicide March of 2019 before the pandemic hit.

i’ve been trying to get up on my footing since that incident, but then… we all know what happens next.

i couldn’t continue school,

i’ve been to different colleges, but my mental health has made it difficult for me to manage my emotions during school work.

to this day, people still think i’m using it as an excuse to get out of the difficulties of life.

i come from a pretty privileged background but at the same time came from a suppressed generation - i’m a millennial.

we were not allowed to talk back to our parents,

have our own voice,

speak our mind,

i always had to wear clothes according to my mom or family’s standards,

to this, day, i still have no idea what i want to do with my life.

i’m 26 now, but still living under the strict guidance of my parents because of my condition.

i’m unemployed because most days i’m hardly functioning.

but because of that, i have 0 money in my bank account to support my wants, needs and interests.

i can’t get a stable good job because, i don’t have a college diploma.

and until i find stable footing, i’m stuck with my family and their toxic ways.

i want to run away,

i want to hide,

i want to disappear.

i just want to be anywhere but here right now atm.

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Odin lesson

Odin has taught me not to fear nature. He did, he made mistakes that in response affected all of those around him. He feared the giants, so he killed them; he feared death, so he caught Hel; he feared the end, so he did everything he could for it not to happen. But it did, and always will. He taught me not to feel higher than nature, he taught me that I cannot control it. Nature is beautiful, ugly, amazing, safe, scary, dangerous. Nature just is. He taught me that everything has an end and the past remains in the past. No one is free of mistakes, what is important is learning from them and moving on to get wiser every day. He taught me that everything has a consequence, soon or later your acts are going to affect someone. You, others, or everyone around you. He taught me to have patience. Learn from mine, his and others' mistakes. Accept the differences and understand that I'm not more important than them. Because he did, and the consequence affected him in terrible ways. He created enemies and made his own bed of suffering. Odin has taught me a lot, even though I do not worship or work with him, he has taught me to learn from everyone, even when I do not like them.

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We know God sans will keep an eye socket on his love but how would her mother react? Would she think she's cursed or want his wealth? Would she kick her out of the house?

Mc would try her hardest to avoid seeing her mother/letting her know about it, because she knows that as soon as her mom realises that Mc has attracted the attention of Sans their relationship is going to permanently change and there'll be a huge fuss. The two aren't close and Mc really can't be bothered to add maternal drama to her ever-growing list of anxieties... but obviously, it can't be hidden forever.

Overall, the reaction from the mom would be mixed- there'd be a certain amount of shock that Mc, who she doesn't even consider to be one of her 'beautiful' (most likely to attract a powerful partner) children, is the one who caught the biggest fish. There'd also be the shock that she bagged the God of Death, who has a strong argument for being one of the most powerful Gods ever. Fear that as the mother of the bride she might have to be in the same room as Sans, or look him in the eyelights. A bit of jealousy, oddly enough... her mom considers herself superior to her demigod children as a full nymph, and yet one of her little half-breeds somehow spectacularly outdid her.

Of course, she'd stomp out all of her emotions and start immediately sucking up to her daughter. Braiding flowers into her hair, speaking in wine-sweet tones, wearing her kindest smile. She's selfish and despite her overwhelming terror of her potential son-in-law she'll try her best to insert a positive image.

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Just a few of the Tagalog & Bisayan goddesses.

Laon was the Supreme Bisayan goddess of agriculture, harvests, and of Mt. Kanlaon. She would send a swarm of locusts to the crops if angered.

Lakan Pati was the Tagalog intersex deity of sown fields and fertility. According to the Boxer Codex, they were also prayed to and given offerings by fishermen for a good catch. The manuscript also mentions that Lakan Pati was the giver of water to the crops.

Ina Gunid was the Bisayan goddess of war and one of the trinity of war deities along with Balangaw (god of the rainbow) and Makanduk (god of war and plunder). according to Miguel de Loarca in his Relacion de las Yslas Filipinas  (1582) they were invoked for success in war and in the mangayaw raids. She was also associated with another trinity of deities, the other two being Arapayan and Makbarubak, when working with and concocting poisonous oils and charms, one involving a charm made of coconut oil and crocodile teeth.

Diyang Masalanta is the Tagalog goddess of love & childbirth. It is highly possible that she was once associated with the Obando Fertility rites along with the god Linga & Lakan Pati.

Magwayan was the primordial goddess of the sea mentioned in the Bisayan creation story. They are also the one who ferries the dead on her boat across the spiritual river, Lalangban to Sulad, purgatory. There she delivers them to the god Sumpoy, God of the Underworld.

Contrary to popular belief, Mayari is not the actual name of the Tagalog moon goddess, it's Kulalaying (according to the Noceda-Sanclucar Vocabulario de la Lengua Tagala (1754))also called Dalagang nasa Buwan (according to the Carta sobre la idolatria de los naturales de la provincia de Zambales, y de los del pueblo de Santo Tomas y otros circunvecinos by the archbishop of Manila, Felipe Pardo (1686-1688). She was prayed to during the new moon for life and prosperity. A chant sang to her during the new moon was written down in the San Buenaventura dictionary (1613) which went as “Buwang Panginoon ko, payamanin mo ako“which translates to “Moon, my Lady, make me rich.”

List of Artists:

- Lakan Pati @ samsum.art on IG

- Ina Gunid @ michelecdraws on IG

- Diyang Masalanta @ caldatelier on IG

- Magwayan @ squeegool on IG

- Kulalaying (artist drew them as Mayari) @ littlestpersimmon on Tumblr.

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I’m browsing the Pagan tag and I’m noticing some people appear to be confused by what is meant by “closed culture” or “living culture” or “dead culture“, so in the interest of trying to help (and give my BA in religion and culture some exercise) I will attempt to define these terms in a clear and concise manner.

Closed traditions are, as their name suggests, closed off to those who are outside the tradition. You either need to be born into the in group, or (in some cases) be initiated into it to participate. The point is that these traditions are supposed to be kept within a particular group, because of this, closed traditions typically don’t actively recruit converts.

Open traditions, by contrast, have fewer barriers to entry and often actively and aggressively recruit converts. You do not need to be born into these traditions to practice them, although there may be certain rituals you need to perform to be considered a member of the in group.

Note that open traditions can have elements or cults that are closed to certain groups of people. Mystery traditions and religious societies in Greece and Rome were only open to certain people (slaves, women, etc.) or had rituals that were kept secret from everyone but initiates. However, Ancient Rome was enthusiastically imperialist in trying to get everyone to embrace their traditions, so even though there were mystery cults that were technically closed, Roman religion at large was pretty open, aggressively so.

It’s also important to draw a distinction between living cultures and dead cultures. Dead cultures are, well, dead, the people who kept these traditions alive are dead, their descendants have converted to other traditions. This is why we refer to modern Pagan traditions as “revivals” or “reconstruction“ if these cultures were alive, there would be no need for such language.

Since these cultures are dead, there’s no harm in borrowing from them. Sumerian culture is gone. There are no great temples to Inanna and Enki. There are no more public sacrifices or festivals, and pretty much everyone in the area is Muslim now. The point is, no Ancient Sumerian priest is going to materialize out of thin air and be like “EXCUSE ME STOP THAT!” In fact, Sumerian deities would probably be very happy to be worshiped in this day and age as they go hungry without offerings.

Likewise, Heathen cultures officially died when the last Northern nation converted to Christianity. While elements of these traditions survived in folklore, officially the religions died, the cultures changed. Again this is why we refer to “the Heathen revival” or talk about Heathen reconstructionism. This is why the term “recon” even exists, because we are reconstructing or reviving dead traditions.

In contrast, living cultures have managed to preserve their traditions even though there were efforts to stamp them out. Saami culture survived while Iron Age Heathen cultures did not. Indigenous peoples still practice their indigenous traditions despite Europeans trying to kill them all off.

When you take things from closed, living cultures like most indigenous traditions, you are not only taking something that was never meant to belong to anyone outside that group (which is incredibly disrespectful), but you’re effectively contributing to their oppression, not just in the form of propagating racist stereotypes like “Native peoples are soo more spiritual and in touch with nature than us poor white people” but you’re actively making it harder for them to preserve their traditions.

Please don’t be complicit in genocide like that. 

Also please for the love of everything listen to people from that culture when they tell you not to touch their stuff. They’re not doing it to be mean. Seriously, I, a white person, should not have to tell you to not touch stuff when people who are actually from that culture tell you to not touch stuff.

Seriously.

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What religions exactly are "closed"?

Bear in mind this is a rough list, and not all of these are closed completely, but do have extensive initiation requirements and/or require being taught by a full fledged member of that religion’s community.

Voudou

Santeria

certain sects of Hinduism

Mayan

Aztec 

various Chinese folk traditions and/or religions

Shintoism 

Korean folk religion

various African theologies

Native American spiritualities (which is a broad field and not homogenous)

Pacific Island (various traditions)

Indigenous Australian

nearly all oppressed indigenous religions

Yazidi (so very closed, don’t even dare with Melek Taus)

All 3 Abrahamic faiths (Islam, Judaism, Christianity) have initiation requirements (and this does extend to all the various sects within those 3)

Zoroastrianism

Indigenous Peruvian/Quechua religion

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The Mysterious and chaotic character lol

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i remember watching Skins in my late teens wanting to be like Effy, now, I just think I grew up to be Pandora.

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i just discovered diabolical lovers and idek why i have such weird taste in tv shows/anime send help;

i even have an idea of an oc and script for shifting asdfghjkl.

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TRESE (2021)

dir. Jay Oliva

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Un homme qui dort (Bernard Queysanne, 1974)

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Inspiring latin phrases:

Dum Spiro, Spero :  while I breathe, I hope.

Carpe Diem :  seize the day.

Carpe Noctem : seize the night.

Alis Propriis Volat : she flies with her own wings

Acta, Non Verba : actions, not words.

Discendo Discimus : by touching we learn.

Barba Tenus Sapientes :  wise as far as his beard.

Brutum Fulmen :  senseless threat.

Felix Culpa : happy fault.

Ex Nihilo Nihil Fit : from nothing comes nothing.

Audere est Facere : to do is to dare.

Semper Fidelis :  Always faithful.

Amor Omnia Vincit :  Love conquers all.

Bona Fide : with good faith.

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Tintoretto c. 1598-1602

Penitent Magdalene (details)

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Ingrid Goes West (2017) dir. Matt Spicer

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GET TO KNOW ME [10/10 horror films] People will look at the ashes of Westerburg and say; Now. There’s a school that self-destructed, not because society didn’t care but because the school was the society.“ Now that’s deep.

Heathers 1988 | Directed by Michael Lehmann

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