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[fatliberation]

lblpep

[fatliberation]

something you said has been on my mind for a while - "kink is not inherently sexual". good faith! I don't understand that at all, could you explain it a bit?

This post is educational, hooray! Extensive discussion of kink under the cut. Nothing explicitly sexual is described in detail.

Please note that in this post, I use the terms top and Dom/me interchangeably. This is because I personally identify as a "top" and not a Dom. Some communities draw sharp lines between these two terms, and it's useful to make sure that you're using the same definition as other people when you're talking. Some people use "top" solely to refer to the giving or penetrative partner, which is not synonymous with the dominant partner. Topping subs, power bottoms, and all other permutations exist. I just use that term for myself because I don't like being called a Dom. It sounds like a guy's name to me, I don't like it.

When I text my wife in every morning, "Please bring me my coffee," and she answers, "Yes, Sir!" is that sexual? I'm surely not feeling sexual when I'm barely awake. When I hold my other wife's hand when she's having a depressive fit and tell her, "Daddy's got you, it's okay," that's kink, but it's not sexual. In that moment, neither of us feel particularly sexy, and we're surely not engaging in sex, but it's kink that - forgive the pun - binds us more strongly together.

One of my girls wears a 24/7 collar that I locked in place. (She can ask me at any point to take it off, or she can take it off herself if she wants to, but she chooses this.) That's kink. It's also... a necklace. That's not any more inherently sexual than her wedding ring, though it - for us - certainly symbolizes part of our relationship that happens to sometimes include sex, exactly the same as a wedding ring.

There are a lot of types of kink that don't include sexual contact in any way or which might include sexual contact but don't need to. One of my friends is a sex-repulsed ace bootblack. They literally take care of the boots of tops, usually at play parties. For them, this act of service and submission allows them to go into a particular headspace that's very fulfilling for them. They are explicitly serving the people whose boots they clean and polish. The Dom/mes receive that service and not only get really great-looking boots out of the deal but also get the feeling of power from having someone eager to take care of them and serve them. For some of us, that kind of service allows us access to a feeling of power that can be hard to access in our daily life, and that feels really good.

Sometimes, it can feel good in a sexy way, and sometimes it feels good in a "makes lizard brain feel powerful but not sexy" way. Neither one is inherently better or worse or more or less kinky than the other.

Sometimes, people who like being whipped like it because the line between pain and pleasure is like a wave on the ocean, and they want to surf it. Sometimes, that involves mashing squishy bits together, and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes, it's just about riding that endorphin wave and then having someone take care of you afterwards.

Sometimes, people want to be tied up in elaborate shibari knots and fucked. Sometimes, people want to be tied up in elaborate shibari knots because that process requires a lot of trust and is an intimate ritual that takes a lot of time. Sometimes, it's both. Sometimes, people want to tie up others because it's a beautiful work of art, because that ritual of binding is a ritual and accesses something sacred for them. Sometimes, they want to be tied up because it's playtime, and that's fun for them! Sometimes, they want to be tied up because when they're tied up, they are 0% in control, and they want to just surrender control to someone whom they can trust.

Some people want to go into sub space - that headspace I talked about earlier - because in their everyday life, they have a lot of responsibilities and stress, and going into that space where nobody can ask anything from them, where they have no responsibility to make any decisions at all, is a relief to them. That might involve squishy bits, or it might not. Some people like going into that sub space because being someone's Good Boy, Sweet Girl, or Good Pup is gender-affirming for them. A friend of mine only feels really safe when he's got his pup hood on, because that means he's With Master, who will protect him.

Some people get gender affirmation out of being in control, being someone's Daddy or Mistress, Sir or Boss. It allows them to access a power that helps them to square their shoulders and take on the world.

All of this entirely skips over the fact that a person's primary sexual organ is between their ears, and some people do get sexual fulfillment out of kink even when no genitalia are involved at all, but I cannot stress enough that the reasons that people enter into the multitude of kink situations in the world are as varied as the people involved. People gain access to comfort, to feelings of stability and order and control over their lives, to gender affirmation, to endorphins that are or aren't sexual in nature, to release from responsibility, to ritual and intimacy, to the ability to provide for others and take care of others in a way that their outside lives may or may not permit. For that matter, they may simply gain access to a paycheck, and that's fine, too. That's no more or less "selling your body" than when I used to run my ass off for 13+ hours a day at my retail job, and I guarantee they're making way, way better money.

The fact that so many people see kink as only and purely sexual means they're missing out on so much of what kink can offer, and narrowing down the experiences of others to this tiny little sliver of what actually exists. Yes, it can be sexual, but it doesn't have to be. The reasons that people engage in kink are as varied as the reasons that people engage in any other kind of interaction, and the fulfillment they get from it is as varied, too.

[fatliberation]

body paintings by Karen Turner

[fatliberation]

Someday I'm gonna remember to promote my FAT QUEER MERFOLK COLORING BOOK during MerMay and Pride Month....

Support a struggling queer artist, guv'na? Help feed me kitties? :<

[fatliberation]

shoutout to all the fat people i've seen wearing whatever the fuck they want in public. shoutout to the fats who wear the skimpiest clothing. shoutout to the fats who wear alt fashion, including cutesy kinds. shoutout to the fats who go to the beach shirtless or on bikinis. shoutout to the fats who wear stripes and light colors, or other clothes we're told aren't flattering on us. shoutout to the fats who wear athletic wear. shoutout the fats who wear the comfiest oversized clothing. shoutout the fats who wear what they want regardless of what thins/"fits" think.

all of you are marvelous and have slowly but surely inspired me to wear whatever the fuck i want as well. i wish you and all other fats nothing but happiness and comfort in self expression <3

[fatliberation]

FaT GiRL zine vol 6

[fatliberation]

skinny ppl stop calling plus sizes “oversized” !!! they’re ME sized!!! stop marketing the clothing I need to a thin audience!!! u guys have options!!!

[fatliberation]

Can you share you archive/masterlist of resources?

I’d have to make one in order to do that 😅 I either remember them off of the top of my head or dive into research, but you’re welcome to look through my tag #resources.

[fatliberation]

I am always astonished by how many resources you have for every single person. how do you do it

been here a long time! the autism helps tho

[fatliberation]

Hi there!! I was wondering if you have any idea where i can find pictures of Fat people with tattoos on their stomach

(and honestly anywhere, im just considering a tat around my bellybutton, so i wanna gather refs and ideas)

but i hope you have a great day!!! thank you for the work you do for us fat people out in the world

Yes! Check out the IG page Good Tattoos on Fat Bodies (@fatandtattooed) !!! ✨hope you have a great day too :)

[fatliberation]

Not really related to much you’ve been posting recently but I’m a final year nursing major and want to help advocate for my fat patients but doctors are know-it-alls and will not really listen unless I have scientific evidence but because healthcare is so biased (as you know) I’m having trouble finding non fatphobic studies. Do you have resources I can use to help advocate for my fat patients or back me up since doctors won’t listen?

see my last post

[fatliberation]

Do you know where I can find studies for fat bias in healthcare or disproving fatphobic stereotypes in any way? i’m looking to make a binder for my workplace at a hospital to show providers in a way to advocate for my fat patients

I recently compiled 29 sources on this - you’ll find more in my tag #resources.

NO WEIGH! For Professionals is a great primer on anti fat bias specifically for healthcare professionals.

[fatliberation]

If you’re able to ask the question “what if I have body dysmorphia?” in response to my claim that no one needs to or should call themselves fat in pejorative way when they are not in fact fat, then you’re already acknowledging that you don’t belong to the class of people who are fat and who experience all the attendant abuses and discrimination. You know, at least in this moment, that what you have is a mental disorder, not a fat body. So I’m gonna go out on a limb and suggest that you practice saying “my body dysmorphia is really bad right now” instead of “I’m so fat.” You’ve already proven you can do it—the question is whether you care enough about other people to stop saying that their bodies are your living nightmare

[fatliberation]

[fatliberation]

As a wheelchair user I'm trying to reframe my language for "being in the way."

"I'm in the way," "I can't fit," and "I can't go there," is becoming "there's not enough space," "the walkway is too narrow," and "that place isn't accessible."

It's a small change, but to me it feels as if I'm redirecting blame from myself to the people that made these places inaccessible in the first place. I don't want people to just think that they're helping me, I want them to think that they're making up for someone else's wrongdoing. I want them to remember every time I've needed help as something someone else caused.

[fatliberation]

Source

CDC Wastewater Viral Activity Monitoring

BreatheTeq

[fatliberation]

People of any body type, and especially fat people, are allowed to love food and openly talk about how great it is, there is nothing wrong with that and you have no right to shame them for finding joy in food