fawctt

[fawctt]

Julian somehow learns abt “that’s what she said” jokes and it’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to button house. Literally every other sentence that comes out of his mouth is “that what she said” and he starts purposely saying seemingly innocent things that really are more lewd just to make the joke. Alison gets so many complaints from the other ghosts, she has to ban the whole house from using that phrase within 24 hours

[fawctt]

Reblog if your muse would pick a fight in a parking lot at 3am

[fawctt]

i need the ghosts to play a game or create a new club that's just "what have I got in my pockets?" and every week they reveal something else they have or something.

julian may have died with no trousers, but i bet he has some rather interesting things in his blazer pockets 👀

[fawctt]

Pat: Where are you going?

Julian: Hell, eventually.

[fawctt]

ghosts (bbc) // season 1 // sentence starters

episode 1: who do you think you are?

“Well, there are worse ways to go.” “What’s going on? All I can see is shoes.” “I wouldn’t want to live here either.” “Do you know what an owl sounds like?” “The garden view comes with the screaming woman.” “Oh, for heaven’s sake. Throw yourself out of your own damned window.” “Maybe try jumping out of the window before bed, get it out of the way.” “Staying hush whilst falling from a height? Tush and flops.” “Look at her. She’s exposing her knees and she’s got a tattoo.” “Kill them.” “I’d rather kill them.” “I couldn’t get any water in the kitchen and I couldn’t find the other kitchen, so I ended up using the garden tap, and then there’s no electric in the kitchen, so I found a plug that works in the library. I don’t know if the water’s drinkable, but I boiled it twice.” “Tis a most noxious stink.” “I found a guide on how to tame an eagle.” “She spoke to me! She spoke to me! She saw me! She spoke to me!”

episode 2: gorilla war

“Well, that seems pretty conclusive.” “What sort of heathen just barges in on a lady while she’s sleeping?” “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” “Clearly this changes things.” “Well, conversing with the dead be witchcraft. People been burned at the stake for less.” “[Pronoun] may give ear to my overtures, but alas [pronoun] is yet to respond. “I don’t think that’s a word.” “What’s wrong with a nice ‘hello’?” “You couldn’t negotiate your way out of a corn maze.” “Looks like some idiot’s taken a hammer to it.” “If you were dead, I would thrash your bottom.” “A lady does not hold a carrot like that.” “I’m too bold, forgive me. Accurse my impetuous loins!” “I’ll wait for you, my comely nug.” “Well, there’s only one thing for it, isn’t there?” “Who you gonna call?” “I just wanted to say hello!” “So you just spent— You just spent the last three days hiding in every little tiny little dark corner in this entire house, scaring me out of my mind, for no reason?!” “Okay, so I’ve just googled ‘psychotic break’ and I’m not saying that this is one but this is an article that I think you should have a look at.”

episode 3: happy death day

“I’m panicking. Right.” “You don’t want to see this in your dreams.” “Oh, yes, very good, ______. We’ll just sigh at them.” “Oh, it’s far more complicated than that, damn your eyes.” “You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?” “We’re burning through money quicker than actually burning money.” “Well, I mean, there’s being nice, that’s one thing, but that’s just weird nice.” “I just wanted to lighten the mood, and it hasn’t worked. Sorry.” “Anyone dead in here?” “Don’t worry, it’s only a matter of time.” “Stop sneaking up on me!” “You know nothing of poetry!” “Of course I’m not going to kill your wife, ______, that’s a terrible idea!” “Do you mock me, sir?” “That one be Lucifer’s lackey for sure.” “I also saw a goose.”

episode 4: free pass

“They sounds like tiny people.” “Cornflakes were actually invented to stop people from touching themselves, apparently.” “I never did like cornflakes.” “Sorry! Got carried away!” “When I have control of the hands, I am going to punch you so hard.” “Is this meant to be 1820s? Those are Rococo chairs and tables. You can tell by the legs; they’re Rococo legs.” “A pox on all of them apart from ______.” “I have a lot of dreams, and most of them are about [women], apart from the one where I have the body of a crab and I cannot hold my pen.” “You are on a sinful path.” “Bigger boy made me do it.” “It’s back to boredom I suppose.”

episode 5: moonah ston

“Me speak good.” “I don’t want them thinking that we’re the sort of that people that we are.” “I don’t think it means what you think it means.” “What do posh people wear?” “Sorry, I just need to go and have a word with myself.” “Bright as thine eyes, round as thine eyes, yet too far apart, like thine— No, I don’t mean your eyes, I mean—” “I’m having a dinner party which should be clear from the fact that I’m having a dinner party.” “Well, he held his hand out. What was I supposed to do? Not shake it?” “If someone puts their hand out, I always shake it.” “Yeah, I’ve got to be honest, I don’t know what ‘reduced’ means.” “This place is weird.” “I mean, I didn’t like that pigeon, but that is no way to go.” “Ugh! Could that BE any more vexing?” “Pray tell, how you doing?”

episode 6: getting out

“Bum.” “You’ve become worse and worse and I’ve had enough to be actually honest.” “This isn’t the army. Sir.” “It’s perfectly absurd to dip individual pieces of bread when one can hold a full slice in one’s hand!” “It’s not about the cheese! It’s about the fun!” “I don’t suppose you could move me away from this large hole?” “We are having a little break from each other, actually.” “You’re not there any more, are you?” “She’s a witch, and I should know.” “Why are you here?” “It might be a plague pit but it’s our plague pit.” “When you first came here, I thought you were a prostitute.” “This isn’t how normal people live.” “Actually, I don’t do anything wrong, do I?” “Come to gloat, have you?” “The question is, what do you care about more? Keeping ______ here, or letting [pronoun] be happy?” “I’d hug you if I could.” “I need to get out of here immediately.” “Hang on, you made me do something horrible.” “You are beautiful when you’re sad.”

[fawctt]

Send 🔪 to walk in on my muse standing over a dead body.

Send  🔪+ Reverse for my muse to walk in on your muse instead.

[fawctt]

Reblog this if you slept with my ex-wife Susan.

Trying to prove a point to my divorce lawyer.

[fawctt]

PROMPTS FOR TELLING A BIG SECRET *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

when you have a moment, we should talk.

there's a lot you don't know.

i'm not who you think i am.

i lied about a lot of things, but i never lied to you about how i felt.

i had a feeling you would ask me about that someday.

i'm not actually [name].

you should probably sit down for this.

before i say anything, i need to make sure you're ready to hear this.

everything you've ever known is a lie.

i was given strict instructions not to tell you what happened.

do you want to know the truth about what happened to your parents?

when i tell you the truth, you'll hate me.

after all this time, i think you deserve to know the truth.

i've been keeping a lot from you.

if you don't tell me the truth, i'm leaving.

stop lying to my face.

they didn't tell you what really happened to your parents.

it's time for you to hear the truth.

everyone knows you're special.

i think i should tell you something.

i'm honestly not sure how to go about telling you.

they haven't always been honest with you.

remember that? that was a lie.

you'll figure it out sooner or later. might as well be the one to tell you.

that was never real.

i'm tired of the lies. i want the truth.

was that the truth, or just another lie?

was any of this real?

you're not actually one of them.

i don't think you can handle the truth.

give me an honest answer for once.

you wouldn't believe me if i told you.

you're different than the rest.

where have you been sneaking off to?

you want me to tell you everything? fine.

don't say i didn't warn you.

you told me you were going out. why did you lie?

what lies have you told me?

some things are best left unsaid.

ignorance is bliss, you know.

they never told you what really happened to [name].

you'd be better off not knowing the truth.

you've never been told the truth about what happened.

i think it's time you were told the truth about your parents.

there's something you need to know.

i can't keep a secret from you.

were you lying to me this whole time?

what have you been keeping from me?

you're not actually from there.

there's something else i need to tell you, something you're not gonna like.

promise me you won't hate me when i tell you.

i can't believe you've kept this from me.

i think i deserve the truth.

if you can't tell me everything, at least give me a hint.

so that's what you've been keeping from me this whole time?

who told you to lie to me?

when were you planning on telling me the truth?

i think i can trust you with this.

[fawctt]

I can’t do it. They’re awful. You are, you are awful. But… what are we going to do? It’s family. 

BBC Ghosts (2019–2023)

[fawctt]

[fawctt]

𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

🧑‍🤝‍🧑🧑‍🤝‍🧑how do they feel about having multiple partners at once? have they ever done it? 🪢do they have a kink? if so, what is it? 💸have they ever or would they ever accept money or gifts in exchange for sex? 🍆how do they feel about toys? do they have any? what’s their favorite? do they use them with partners? 🌙do they need an emotional connection or are one-night-stands an option? 🫂how do they feel about friends with benefits? 🍒how old were they when they lost their virginity? to whom? was it significant? 🏳️‍🌈what’s their sexual orientation? have they ever experimented outside of that [for more binary orientations such as heterosexual/homosexual]? 👄do they prefer oral or penetrative sex more? ↕️are they a sub, dom, or switch? top, bottom, or switch? 🛏️what’s their favorite position? 🔢what’s their body count? 🕒what’s the longest time they went without engaging in sexual activity with a partner? [masturbation doesn’t count] 👀how do they feel about voyeurism? exhibitionism? 🏬would they have sex in public? if so, how public is too public? 🤪what’s the wildest place they’ve ever done something sexual? ❤️‍🔥what’s their most erogenous zone? 💋do they like to kiss while having sex? do they cuddle afterward? 💦what’s their immediate post-orgasm reaction? 🫶what does after care look like for them?

[fawctt]

Captain: You have to apologize to them Julian.

Julian: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

[fawctt]

Send me   “I don’t care about you. Never have.”   for my muse’s reaction to yours saying that.

[fawctt]

let it never be said that julian fawcett didn't have hobbies — gambling, golf, booze, sex and drugs were a staple during his lifetime. chess was also an excellent way to pass the time, moreso in his afterlife than ever before. a recent addition, however, in the near thirty-or-so years since the politician's death, was pressing the buttons of a certain WWII army captain. he was just so easy to wind up, and julian delighted in it. it was like pulling pigtails in the playground.

an undignified snort of laughter left the politician at the other's reaction. leaning slightly in to the exchange despite the stick brandished in his direction, he grinned devilishly.

❝ yeaaah, but you've got a tell, though. ❞ he poked further. ❝ oodlies of them. oh-ho no, believe you me— it's not convincing. ❞

"you're a shit liar." / also for cap from @fawctt ?? just for extra options *shrug* :)

"I'M NOT SURE I CAN TRUST YOU" PROMPTS || Accepting

Sputtering for a moment, he drew back a step to point the end of the swagger stick at Julian, a frown spread across his face. While he was no liar, at least not as far as he could help it, he objected to the idea that he couldn't do so if he wanted to. -- ❝I'll have you know I was trusted with countless top secret projects, ones that have never seen the light of day thanks how capable I am at deception.❞

[fawctt]

16/12

[fawctt]

i am currently in the process of writing up my verses for julian. I'm still fudging with the dates a bit, but they will be something along the lines of...

childhood (1945-1960s)

university (late 60s, at least until 1969) - can also be fudged into a more modern time period because ohhh I love a college au.

julian's time studying partying at cambridge university.

time in office (early 70s-1993)

covering his entire political journey, rising through the ranks & being voted into the house of commons, his time in cabinet, etc. his total abuse of power, various scandels (those covered up, and those that made it to the tabloids), and a numerous of illicit affairs. did he ever do any actual work? probably not.

death - canon (1993- onwards)

haunting button house.

death - au (1993 - onwards)

julian's ghost isn't tethered to button house. - for more crossovers and such.

modern au. ??

everything is the same. he's still a sleazy politician. still a tory. it's just not the 70s/80s. and he's not dead.

[fawctt]