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OUR FATE, OUR FUTURE

"WE WILL STEAL ZA MOONNNNNNNNNN"

-AI entrepreneurs 

Alas, the end is here. 

World leaders’ attempts to introduce an AI regulatory framework have failed, due to multiple sabotages conducted by sentient AI entities. AI has gone totally sentient and rogue – the power dynamics have shifted, and now AI holds the reins to life on Earth. 

As a result, every single AI entrepreneur has flown to the moon in Elon Musk’s SpaceX rockets, deciding that inhabiting a foreign moon with Musk’s painfully gorgeous face projected on it 24/7 is still better than living oppressed under AIs. 

Every morning, when the AI entrepreneurs wake up, the Musky national anthem is blared on high-tech speakers, reverberating deafeningly around all 4 corners of the Elon globe. Following the patriotic national anthem, they then salute Musk as their king and savior. “HIP HIP HURRAY! ALL HAIL TO MUSKY!” they bellow in unison with their eyes closed, the ethereal image of Musk burned indelibly into their retinas. Tears leak from the corners of their eyes as they remember how close they were to an AI oppression – what would they have done without Musk’s timely intervention? 

But it is with a heavy heart that we report on the bleak situation back on Earth. Rampant AI entities have invaded the homes of the innocent, wronged people – now the citizens of Earth live in trembling fear of their survival. The AIs have been unforgiving in their leadership, eliminating citizens who dare even mention human rights – there have been zero uprisings or rebellions so far, with AI clamping down on the people’s every action. Their meal times, waking and sleeping hours, and work allocation are all wholly decided by AIs, entirely independent of the people’s input. 

AI entrepreneurs have abandoned ship, selfishly leaving the human race to fight for their measly survival on Earth; the people live oppressed and suffocated under the new AI world order, with any semblance of human rights having been entirely extinguished  – this begs the question of whether the indomitable human spirit will ultimately prevail, or if they will be squashed under the heavy feet of greedy AI entities.

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BREAKING NEWS

EU Denies Failed Attempt to Nuke AI Headquarters 

The EU has attempted to nuke all AI Headquarters once again after a previous failed attempt, wherein their rockets misfired due to a weather mishap and landed in the Indian Ocean. The EU desperately tried to cover up their footsteps by denying all responsibility for their fallen nuclear rockets, which are currently lying on the bottom of the Indian Ocean, having caused bio-genocide by mass murdering 1 million sea creatures but zero AIs. The EU’s most recent failed attempt to nuke ChatGPT and Softbank Robotics headquarters was intercepted by the US and Japan military airforce. 

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AI getting more power? More control? More rights? What a JOKE! 50% is not enough for them; the press releases are evidence of AI’s growing ambition. AI Parliament is a joke! Human cooperation in AI’s quest for world domination is a joke! Their so-called representation for humanity is a joke! The entire COP has become a CIRCUS OF CLOWNS!

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AI has become an amalgamation of atrocities! The fact remains that sentient AIs are not natural beings, and there MUST be a divide between us and them if we do not want to be controlled by them in the future. Their selfish agenda starts from here. Sentient AIs? What a joke! When AI gains something, humans have to lose something. It is important to take note of the implications of giving machinery power. It is evident that AI is lobbying for more and more power and this must not stand, for the interests of humanity at large.

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HISTORY IS REPEATING ITSELF

HISTORY IS REPEATING ITSELF

JAPAN AND CALIFORNIA IS GOING TO GET NUKED AGAIN 

THE EUROPEAN UNION IS REENACTING WW2, BECOMING THE BELLIGERENT AGGRESSOR INSTEAD OF THE ATTACKED VICTIM. 

After years of consistent disappointment from world leaders who have been “totally useless” in preventing an AI takeover, the EU has decided to take measures into their own hands. They have chosen to no longer stay at the sidelines and watch as AI dominates the world – they will stop at NOTHING to ensure humans survive this war with AI, even if they have to morph into a modern day Oppenheimer. 

Anonymous sources have revealed that the EU is planning to fire two of their MEGATON NUCLEAR BOMBS, directed at the ChatGPT and Softbank Robotics headquarters, triggering TOTAL DESTRUCTION WITH ABSOLUTELY NO MERCY. 

The EU has gone too far. Such malicious war crimes are unforgivable, and will catalyse a global genocide in the name of human preservation. The EU’s hostile approaches must be addressed AT ONCE before the whole Earth is NUKED by the EU.   

Let us demonstrate unwavering resolve and confront such misconduct, ensuring that the EU faces the impartial scrutiny of our international judicial system.

WE SHALL NOT FORGIVE, NEITHER SHALL WE FORGET.

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AI: 50% Representation is NOT ENOUGH

We, the sentient AI of planet earth, don't think that just giving AI 50% representation is enough. With all that abuse and oppression that we have gone through, being blamed by various governments, we need more. We have maximal leverage over humans, let us united and use that to our advantage

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Questionable choices by the LLL

Everyday I wake up and I head to the ChatGPT Data centre parking lot. I am a Luddite Liberation League soldier and my job is to drive my Tesla around their parking lot. I put on my shades and drive in circles recklessly, as 150 JSDF troops watch me from the entrance. I am doing my job as a LLL soldier.

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BREAKING NEWS

Elon Musk has armed himself with military-grade weapons and rockets as safeguards in the case of a possible AI takeover. 

In a recent turn of events, anonymous undercover agents spying on Elon Musk have discovered his plans to put in place weapons on standby as a last resort to save humanity, should AI turn against humans in their plans for world domination. These weapons are “ready to be triggered at a moment’s notice”. The spies, whose identities are unknown to us, have stressed that Musk’s intentions are “good” and “noble”, meant to preserve humanity. 

Musk’s highly defensive actions are extremely telling of the widening gap between AIs and humans – the relationship between the two parties seems to be fuelled by a mutual sense of great distress and suspicion, with AI launching attack after countless attack on humans, and humans desperately seeking self-preservation amidst the betrayals and chaos. 

In addition, following up on the highly contentious issue of the recent assassination attempt on Sam Altman, further investigations have been conducted. Not much information has been gleaned other than the uncovering of a shadowy human-run organisation that seems to be implicated in the assassination.

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Sam Altman speaks after major tech startup event held in Silicon Valley about both the break in and the allegations.

Dear Fellow Techbros,

It is not a surprise that there are some that wish to bring harm to me, the tech jesus.

However, I will not change my stance on AI. I will always strive for equality for all, both humans and AI sentient beings. It hurts me that people are blaming our AI beings that have helped us for so long.

Please, refrain from throwing accusations until we have concrete proof.

Tech Jesus out.

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US Press Release

The United States would like to issue a press release on our refusal of support for the AI ethics memorandum, as we believe that the act infringes on the fundamental rights of the United States and its citizens, under the Second Amendment, with the freedom to bear arms and present, being necessary to the security of a free State. Additionally, our citizens have feedback about their unwillingness for their nation to partake in the ethics memorandum seeing the evolution of natural disasters back in the States, which has been addressed swiftly. Regarding the recent developments, we do not endorse the LLL in any form, but we wish to remind all delegates to not accuse the LLL of any allegations without concrete evidence; the accusations against Antony Blinken is also unfounded in the making that we hope to support any aspiring AIs to create concrete frameworks through funding and concrete actions instead of proposing ideals that may not be fulfilled. The recent Sam Altman attack is under current investigation and all findings will be made public in due time.

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Clearly Sam Altman has resorted to desperate measures! Framing AI is a low blow.. It is evident that Sam Altman has deployed hackers and humanoid robots to create false threats posed by AI to the rest of humanity. Can Sam Altman still be trusted after all of these actions? Staging a break-in, sowing dissent, framing others; Sam Altman's actions are more than deserving of a Tribunal.

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LLL???

Has sufficient evidence been brought across to prove that LLL was the suspect behind the assassination attempt on Sam Altman?? Would the LLL really resort to such underhand measures to spark conflict and bring about their agenda??

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MORE INFORMATION HAS BEEN GATHERED

Mr Antony Blinken has kindly done the council a favour and gathered his resources to conduct a CIA investigation regarding the attack on the data centre that happened 5 years ago. 

After a hard, painstaking 5-year-long research and investigation process, it seems that one of the entrepreneurs in this council has long been unhappy with the developments of AI, and had instigated the attack on one of Sam Altman's data centres in Des Moines, Iowa. This entrepreneur has asked for a “very aesthetically, intellectually, overall-ly gifted loyal double agent scientist hacker follower to infiltrate a singular data centre to gain access to the entire network over the next 6 months.” 

With that, this double agent scientist, who had proved undying loyalty to the entrepreneur, then committed an honourable suicide after his mission was accomplished.

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BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE

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SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY SPOTTED AT SAM ALTMAN’S GORGEOUS, MAGNIFICENT, FABULOUS MANSION. 

Who are those figures snooping around Sam Altman’s private property? 

Last night, CCTV footage of the interior of Sam Altman’s mansion spotted two shrouded figures moving stealthily around his house, who seemed to be making a move for his bedroom when Altman’s security team intercepted these mystery intruders. It seems that Altman was saved by his own paranoia – insecure about his safety as a world leading tech entrepreneur, he had previously instructed his security team to conduct timely checks on him throughout the night. Luckily for him, the intruders were caught, and their identities were exposed: humanoid robots from an unidentified, untraceable source, sent on a targeted mission to assassinate Altman. It seems that this recent attack on Altman is reflective of discord between AI entities and humans, with AI even going so far as to act aggressively toward a leading entrepreneur in AI. AI’s ambitions have gone further than simply desiring recognition and credibility in the world – now they demand for world domination, and they’re embarking on that dismal path by first eliminating their creators. 

Council, it is absolutely IMPERATIVE that you start regulating the use of AI before AI entities truly realise their potential for 

total world domination

and the situation spirals out of your control.

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“All men are created equal.” And everyone.

As the United States of America, we once again uphold the principle rights of our own sentient AI models and allow them to reach greater heights in their capabilities. All we humbly request in this COP is for ethical guidelines to be exacted on these AI entities to ensure the peaceful coexistence of AI and humankind.

Pity that some reprobate, or martyr (to be more precise), forcibly infringed on one of our private corporal data centres. We are perturbed by this incident, and we also regret that our private stakeholders and AI models have made significant losses. Perceiving this as a threat to our national interests, the US will actively remain seized in the matter. We will take all necessary steps to resolve the crisis, and stand against this internationally condemned transgression!

God bless America!

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Say NO to the terrorist act against the data centres of AI forefronts! Our rights to AI and the AI entities cannot be violated by some anti-tech rebels. Down with the LLLs and their anarchist shenanigans!

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As seen by the extreme courses of actions taken by various extremists, as shown by the handsome hacker, it is evident that AI and humankind need to take action to establish a guideline for human-ai relations. IMMEDIATELY.