fearevillikefire

[fearevillikefire]

i hate when people say that 'pets are a luxury' and get pissed at people for taking in strays or shelter animals when they can't afford the horrifically expensive vet bills that may pop up... like the reality is someone can give an animal a good life even if they aren't rich, and being rich doesn't guarantee shit about your pet's health because veterinary medicine isn't magic, majority of the time if your pet is sick the most they can do is slow the decline. so if you only want rich people to own pets, what you're essentially saying is that stray animals and shelter animals should just suffer on the streets because nobody should adopt them unless they can provide the perfect care. with that logic you should say animal shelters should all get closed down because, how can they take in an animal if they can't even provide them the proper care? The fact is everyone is just doing the best they can and animals are living beings not luxury goods.. we should try and give as many of them a good home as we can, and that means a lot of them won't have the perfect care all the time, but that's just life, and the difference between good care and perfect care is negligible for animals just due to the reality of what veterinarians can do. Idk just i love my cats a lot and i do what i can for them when it comes to the vet but im always terrified about their health and the reality is i cant really change shit about it either way... i just give them the best environment and food and maintenance care but my fucking god even a simple wellness exam is horrifically expensive in the current economy. I just want the world to make sense

[fearevillikefire]

At least i kept it real

[fearevillikefire]

i love the way medical staff handle your body so firmly and confidently

[fearevillikefire]

stds are stupid as fuck if they did not exist i would go out and give head to random people every day

Literally mad thinking about this rn this is what they (stds) have taken from us.. god fucking damn it

whyyy

[fearevillikefire]

My secret: I recently discovered the joy of shipping... despite being on tumblr for oh, 8 years or so, i really have never shipped anything before. Sure i have read fanfiction and checked out fandom spaces before, looked at ship tags, etc. but i've never truly been in a fandom and really haven't shipped anything... OH WAIT sorry fuck im lying when i was 14 i shipped sasuke and naruto. But honestly i was a casual about that. Because i barely even read fanfictions of them i read more homestuck fanfics even though i shipped homestuck characters less. Well anyways six years later ive rediscovered what it means to ship, through the power of the ot3. Idk why but it appeals to me so much. I just absolutely love a throuple. I like that there's this love between not only two but three people, and i think i really like that the characters are basically forced to be friends or to have some other deep connection that ISN'T love before the love blossoms, cause otherwise it doesn't logistically work, you can't have a love connection with nothing else behind it happen between 3 people cause getting 3 people to date is complicated. It makes me wanna be in a throuple irl although im not super interested in dating rn. But maybe in the next few years i'll be more down with it and i can cross that off the bucket list.

[fearevillikefire]

Man some girls on here really fucking piss me off they just suck they're mean to everyone women and men but only if they're vulnerable... they complain and make fun of and diss and slur at men of color, gay men, trans men, near exclusively, and they always make it about their race or their being lgbt. Then for women they NEVER make it about race or lgbt but they will only be cruel to vulnerable women. Women who are being taken advantage of, women who have bad internalized misogyny, women who are in unfair or even abusive relationships, women with eating disorders or terrible insecurity or addiction- THESE are the women you target. I NEVER see these people harsh on people in a good spot in their lives or in society, they only punch down. Fucking assholes.

[fearevillikefire]

Why are canadians all such little bitches omg everytime im annoyed with somebody on here they're a fucking canadian.......

[fearevillikefire]

Im ngl i love the way that people draw those little southpark boys its so adorable and old school nobody's doing it like that but them... keep it up honestly because we need that 'i made u a cookie but i eated it's type of emo or scene or whatever cute looking invader zim ass drawings... they are so necessary and i don't see anybody else doing them.. sometimes i see homestucks do it? Well anyways if i was a preteen or teenager rn i'd definitely be drawing like that and id draw south park too.. ok that sounds like i want to and im not cause im too old no no not what i mean i just mean if i was a teen id want to lmfao. Anyways i think its adorable and unique and i want it to continue

[fearevillikefire]

What actually IS up with the type of person who goes out of their way to make their whole lives about their identities and quirks and shit? Like actually though why do people do that? Like, why ARE there people who's tumblr bio says 'im autistic and nonverbal and i use sign language and im schizophrenic and i have bpd and im a system and i have a caregiver and i have epilepsy and i use a cane and im transgender and i have asthma and i'm nonbinary and a lesbian and a gay man and a catgender and im an age regressor and i use a wheelchair and i have pcos and im asexual and im hypersexual and i am triggered by bugs and needles and (SO ON AND SO FORTH)' What is the reason?? I'm not harshing on any of these things, especially not the real struggles but not even the silly stuff like the neopronouns i mean it's weird but i don't really care and i'm definitely not mad. What i am so confused about is the listing of all of these things that don't make sense in conjunction, or if they DID make sense in conjunction then they would make this person the most fucked up, unlucky person alive. And i'm not harshing on that either, i have worked with disabled kids and i know sometimes disorders and issues can come in clusters. But the people who DO have an insane cluster of disabilities and physical and mental illnesses, at least in my experience, that shit affects them bad. Like... you, supposedly entirely nonverbal tumblr user with 20 different disabilities and identities in your bio, you are writing in a way that flows, that reads like speaking. Every truly nonverbal person i've met in my life cannot write a sentence like the average person can, some can't write or type at all. And you are writing full essays and rants like the average person would. On top of your cluster of disorders and stuff. Like i'm not saying it's impossible the world is a crazy place. But it's just another thing that makes this person so improbable that it's very very very unlikely they exist as they claim they do.

But that's not the important bit and it isn't the main reason i am confused and have doubts. It's that i ALSO know people in real life who have been in online circles where people 'compete' over the number of mental illnesses and disabilities and problems and gender/sexuality identities they have. And i know that these people faked and lied about many things. I've seen it many times. I just do not understand it. Is it a search for meaning, validation, what? And most importantly, how do these people live with themselves? There are people who actually believe that they are all these things they say they are. That the way they are representing these problems is completely true. And especially when they fake a massive cluster of issues and stuff, that is misrepresenting a TON of people, who actually do have problems! I mean how can you even live with yourself??

I can't even talk about this on my main blog because i know there's people who will get pissed at me for even mentioning this issue. But it's the truth, people do this constantly. But i know that for some people, they believe so strongly in their online community being sound and true that ignoring the facts that many people ARE faking a ton of shit is actually in service to make their community stronger and more trustworthy, because even though it is plain as day, it shows that their community is even stronger if they are willing to ignore something so obvious. It's like ignoring it not only makes the issue go away but it also makes everyone in that circle trust eachother more, and gives them more credibility. It's insane. But i get the cycle. I just don't get WHY? What do you get out of the lying? You know, maybe it's the rush of being trusted. Lying and being believed shows you that you're liked and trustworthy and good enough that people will believe you even when you lie. That may feel good to people. And why be creative about your lies? Just frankenstein up a bunch of issues that people deal with that garner shock and pity and most of all attention, mix them up, and get going with them. It's a lie you don't even have to keep telling, it becomes a part of you. I should ask some of the fakers i know if this is why they did it... i know loneliness and shit is a cause, i just never asked why the lying helps to fix the loneliness other than getting attention.

[fearevillikefire]

Dude im so fucking done with this website and twitter and tiktok, all everyone ever does is complain... instagram i dislike also but for other reasons its just stressful... youtube i still like actually sort of.... but i swear i fucking HATE the people on this site they have the shittiest attitudes ive ever seen, are so stuck up, so self absorbed.. my fucking god... i should just block the bitchy mfs i see on here

[fearevillikefire]

remembering that there are lots of guys in the world with small dicks makes me feel a lot better about being transgender and not having one... i mean the experience is probably very similar in the sex and nudity department lmfao. Idk if id rather have a small dick or no dick though. On one hand it does feel like a waste of a good sex organ if you have a dick so small that there isn't much use for it in penetrative sex. But on the other hand at least you have the correct genitalia for your gender... that's pretty important. idk. Well anyways i'm happy that i'm not the only one dealing with this issue.

[fearevillikefire]

i absolutely hate online interaction which is why i can't keep up friendships that aren't really close.. you have to post on stupid fucking instagram and all this shit and i hate it so goddamn much. There is nothing i hate more on this earth than posting shit on stupid instagram i hate taking selfies and reposting and liking stories i want nothing to do with any of it. I can't explain why i hate it so much but it makes me stressed and nervous and insecure. I also have self esteem issues and i feel like nobody wants to see that shit anyways. The whole thing just feels like such a drain on life. Except it's the only way to have a social life in this day and age... ughh i hate everything just let me chill out and be real

[fearevillikefire]

I gotta stop following so many self centered ass blogs on this website i do not care about these people's inner thoughts... they're usually so mean. Or nonsensical, or petty. See this is why i have this sideblog so that i can get this crap out without bothering anyone. But even my shit isn't close to as wrong as the stuff people actually post on main all the time! Just constantly COMPLAINING about every single thing. Or posting all the time about like how much more beautiful and smart they are than everyone else. I think some people treat tumblr way too much like a diary and make themselves super annoying and hateable. If everyone did that everyone would hate eachother. There's a reason we don't share everything. I really wouldn't mind it so much if it wasn't all the time.. i just should unfollow these people... but i truly would like them if it weren't for all the welcome to my twisted mind shit. Or if they did have that kinda thing, i wish it was at least more self-aware!!! See i try to post (on my main) shit i actually think is worth people seeing even if it's something totally random. Maybe I'm unique but i tend to scroll slow and look at everything. I'm also a slow reader, i need to soak in every sentence and reread and think about it. But anyways, because of that i consider any sort of media or content as actually worthwhile, even if it's just a tumblr post. I know that most of them are absolute trash but that doesn't mean the medium is. So i have to give it the respect it deserves.. idk. Where was i going with this. Oh yeah: diaries should stay private.

[fearevillikefire]

I hate that it was possible for me to have transitioned younger in an ideal world though. I could have been taller and more masculine and i would probably be so much happier. Fuck my life dude just god damn it

[fearevillikefire]

Ugh i hate gender dysphoria just in general i wish everyone would be born cis. Being trans sucks... i also just wish i could switch my body to male😐 why does life have to suck so bad... i wish i could just have been born male

[fearevillikefire]

i will never understand what the stupid discourse is around intersex people either... like the question of if they're transgender or not�� i feel like the answer is incredibly clear and cannot be argued... the ones that say they are are and the ones that say they aren't aren't... it's completely uncomplicated..... why do people fight and get bothered about this.. i will never understand. I saw someone intersex on here getting haughty over non-intersex people for the first time in my life and i was genuinely shocked💀 something about 'cis butch lesbians are always so jealous of me because im intersex and i have some facial hair and a deeper voice' on a very haughty and rude post that also shocked me that essentially said that cis butch lesbians who say "egg-like" things are trans and they can't be disturbed when trans people say they should transition and if they are they shouldn't say that stuff. Why is everyone so narrow minded i swear to god.... not everyone has the same fucking experience as you stop shoving them into boxes. I also feel like some of this honest to god cruelty and misogyny comes from a deep insecurity with their own genders. There are transgender men who are not happy with their choice to transition, who are at heart women. Usually it's pretty clear to see because they will present femininely and often have a feminine identity alongside their trans one. Like, the "ftm lesbians." Okay of course you're going to be trying to tell lesbians they're really men at heart, you yourself are a lesbian who has decided to pretend to be a man and obviously this makes you unhappy, since you do not actually pursue manhood but rather an alternative form of femininity. I'm not angry that there are people like this in the world. But i am sad that they push negativity onto other people. And i am sad that they can't be true to themselves. It's so awful to me to think that there are people transitioning when they do not truly need to in order to bring peace and stability into their lives. Because transitioning makes people transphobic at you and that sucks ass. And when these people transition they usually CHOOSE not to change their presentation and bodies to match the target gender, because in reality they aren't comfortable with becoming that gender and don't truly want to. So that means they are forever stuck in the limbo of not passing as either gender. I feel terrible for them. And on top of that clearly they have some level of gender incongruity or at least some other mental issues that leads them to think they're trans when they aren't. I think the only way to help this problem is to discuss detransition more within the trans community. Of course truly transgender people don't understand the need for it because to us that's like having a cis person transition, it would just be crazy. But people who ARE NOT truly wanting to transition are still in the community and need this kind of support. I feel like it isn't really really the responsibility of trans people but i hate seeing them suffer so needlessly.

[fearevillikefire]

I try not to pay attention to the crazy things people say on tumblr tho cause the reality is it's not like they are hurting anyone by creating an online community with a persecution complex, or by blowing everything out of proportion... it's just annoying. Just like how i try to just ignore the stuff people say under a thin veil of irony that encourages cruelty or killing yourself with drugs or weight gain or ruining your life or hating people for tiny reasons. Because people will get so mad at you for a small difference in opinion on here😞 In real life i can have extremely civil and even friendly conversations with people who think very differently to me. But on tumblr people think 2 degrees differently to you, even though you agree on 99% of issues, and they will hate you forever and ever and send u a billion death threats and talk to u like you're an idiot and so onn. Like it's ridiculous... i sort of understand why because they just zero in on one little issue but it's so crazy. If we could just have a normal conversation we'd probably agree on EVERYTHING, but instead you hate me because there's one tiny thing we disagree on 💀💀