feathers-fallen-on-riverdale

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put your bra back on boy we have a murder to solve

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im so obsessed with season 1 beronica because veronica moves to town and she's like "i need someone to teach me how to be a good girl🥺🥺" and betty is like "aww that is so sweet but unfortunately i am insane"

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Jarchie Week 2022 - Day Two: Favorite Episode (1 of 2 because I couldn’t decide): Chapter Twenty: Tales from the Darkside

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Worst mom in riverdale?

INNOCENT MOTHERS

Toni Topaz - Baby Anthony wanted to do all that stuff

Mary Andrews - Not her fault she was having gay sex in the city while her ex husband instilled The Cycles in their son. In fact she wanted Archie with her in Chicago (if memory serves)

FORGIVEN MOTHERS, EXCUSED OF THEIR CRIMES

Gladys Jones - Called Archie and Jughead gay to their faces while wearing leather (Bound 1996 reference)

Hermione Lodge - Became a Real Housewife of New York, bringing joy to thousands if not millions

Alice Cooper - She was literally born on the wrong side of the tracks and then saved an entire plane of people by taking over the controls after the pilot fell ill... So you literally can't hold the manslaughter, aiding, abetting, libel, undercover cult indoctrination, or bad parenting against her she looked HOT while she did it all. Like, CHRIST, can't a woman be IMPERFECT?

Polly Cooper - She had at least ten lobotomies, was the victim of like every crime imaginable, and still managed to build a huge support system for her children. That her kids were attacking classmates with a rock is evidence that she was preparing them to be self sufficient citizens of Riverdale, frankly.

WORST MOTHER, BY ORDER OF ELIMINATION

Penelope Blossom - Unlike other criminal entrepreneurs, such as cloth mother (Hermione Lodge) and wire mother (Gladys Jones), her child was forced to repeatedly put her down like a rapid dog. Then she became a lesbian nun, which is kind of a step down for somebody who used to wear what bordered on full drag to run a brothel. In my opinion.

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no like really

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Remember the “open to all” “love happens” spn promo? well there’s one of those for riverdale too

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If somebody put out a wire father and a cloth father for Archie he would choose cloth father every time. He'd be like I wish you actually loved me cloth father, I wrote a song about how you're lack of true care hurt me on the inside even if you don't mean it. And if you put a speaker inside cloth father that intermittently said YOU NEED TO GO TO WAR SON his malnourished ass would be writing in his diary within the week like hard day in the trenches. may have trench foot. when bingo's last breath labored out of him I felt it fly into my mouth and explode against my insides, more shrapnel embedded in my soft tissue. I can't wait for cloth father to respond to my letters with good job son.

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mattpat we have calcium in our bones gif

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can you say your show is pro-union?

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Want to learn something new in 2022??

Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)

40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)

Excellent basic crochet video series

Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)

Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)

How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)

Another drawing character faces video

Literally my favorite art pose hack

Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??

Introduction to flying small aircrafts

French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding

Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)

Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)

Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)

Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:

Calculus 1 (full semester class)

Learn basic statistics (free textbook)

Introduction to college physics (free textbook)

Introduction to accounting (free textbook)

Learn a language:

Ancient Greek

Latin

Spanish

German

Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)

French

Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)

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In all the riverdale musicals they never did chicago .. rest in peace Tabitha betty veronica cheryl and maybe toni you would have loved doing a he had it coming musical number

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In the beginning, the riverdale gay characters were spaced by twenty four weeks. Then twelve, then six, then every two weeks. The last one, in upstate New York, was a week. In four days we could be seeing a riverdale gay character every eight hours until they are coming every four minutes. Marshal, we should witness a double event within seven days.

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Nobody say beronica kiss isn't from the comics I'll kill you bitch

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WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!??!

WAKE THE FUCK UP AMERICA WAKE UP

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gay kevin: clay's poem was so good i can't stop thinking about him now

betty, also gay: toni's sexy dance poem was so amazing and hot i can't stop thinking about it. wasn't her dance poem sexy, straight kevin?

gay kevin: sure, straight betty

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gay kevin: clay's poem was so good i can't stop thinking about him now

betty, also gay: toni's sexy dance poem was so amazing and hot i can't stop thinking about it. wasn't her dance poem sexy, straight kevin?

gay kevin: sure, straight betty