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In the bedded room. straight up “yankin it”.. amd by ‘it’,,, hehe… well.. lets justr say…… my euelashes…

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They should invent hair pulling that doesn't remove hair

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ocd is literally just having a guy in your head that torments you with false prophecies & visions

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i loveeeee the way my brain will insist i am romantically attracted to everyone i interact with who i even slightly like. it’s awesome and definitely doesn’t confuse the hell out of me and make me feel like a freak

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i hate when i, a completely healthy person (very chronically ill), get sick (flare up) for no reason at all (i exerted myself way past my limit just cuz i didn’t wanna be “annoying”)

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what are some ways hypermobility can effect your body that no-one really talks about?

it's interesting actually because i don't think hypermobility is inherently disabling. we've all heard about those freaks (affectionate) who are active and healthy, but just happen to be able to contort their bodies into unbelievable shapes. so much of hypermobility seems to be the way it interacts with other factors. I'll go over some stuff that i know is directly related to hypermobility though!

hypermobility has little to do with joints, and everything to do with everything else. see, muscles are connected to bone by tendons. hypermobility increases the stretch of the tendons. this is like making the ropes attaching your hammock to the trees really stretchy. so when the actual muscle flexes, it first must pull the tendons tight before it can start moving the bone that it's attached to. ergo, hypermobility makes the muscles work harder to achieve the same results as non-hypermobile bodies.

for a lot of people who have hypermobility and don't realize it, and now have chronic pain, this is often due to the overuse of muscles. you are not weak, you are not frail, you are just very, very tired. please look at my pinned post--learning how to treat trigger points has allowed me to treat my pain!! it's reversible!! you CAN get better!!

relatedly, this is why building muscle can help combat the negative effects of hypermobility. but you can't build your muscles until they've been treated for overuse. this is where i think a lot of physiotherapy falters.

seems to be related to estrogen! because estrogen is involved with collagen synthesis, and collagen is the thing in the tendons that makes things stretchier. I've yet to read more into this in detail, but considering hypermobility seems to affect those with higher levels of estrogen in the body, I'm not surprised.

similarly, pregnancy causes the tendons and ligaments to loosen, presumably due to the aforementioned effects of estrogen. whether or not things go back to normal after pregnancy, I don't know.

hypermobility can also affect the veins and nerves, making THEM stretchy as well. I'm more knowledgeable about the muscular impacts, but I've seen suggestions that varicose veins are more likely, causing the veins to stretch around blockages rather than. be blocked by them.

in a fit of irony, i, personally, think that hypermobility actually saves the body from the effects of stress--or more specifically, body wide muscular tension. because when your muscles get tight enough, they pull on the bones and start pinning nerves and crushing veins--literally crushing you to death. having a wibbly, squishy body could totally counter that. could even be why women tend to live longer than men! this bullet point is pure speculation on my part though, so take that with a grain a salt (or however much you want to trust my hypotheses gjfj)

the way hypermobility presents in people can make it difficult to diagnose. for instance, people who aren't super stretchy could be hypermobile, except their muscles have stiffened up so much that they seem like they have normal range of motion. my mother, queen of eds, is like this! that's why it's important to look across a broad range of diagnostic criteria, and consider your history and the current state of your body.

I DONT...actually think stretching makes hypermobility worse. but i do think stretches need to be targeting the right spots to be effective. unfortunately this requires knowing things both about the human body and your own body. it's a lot of work.

oh also hypermobility can make your body feel less stable and more unbalanced. and when you feel unbalanced you start clenching muscles so you don't fall over. and then those muscles get overused and tired, so you clench other muscles to keep THOSE muscles from failing. it's a nasty little feedback loop that can be difficult to break, and if allowed to continue, it can really fuck your shit up.

but i really do want to stress that so many of the problems related to hypermobility are not only treatable but reversible. muscle overuse is a HUGE problem with hypermobility, but after reading the book in my pinned post (and realizing that every pain pattern in there matched MY pain patterns) I've been able to work on recovery.

like i had symptoms of carpel tunnel, of tendonitis, bursitis, even some symptoms of diabetes and pancreatitis, (and more but if i keep listing them we'll be here all day) and the muscle treatment in that workbook has steadily reduced and eliminated those symptoms. my mother was practically bed bound by her disability and now she can go on short walks and feels better than she has in a very long time. it's reversible. you don't have to be in pain forever. we can all get better (it'll just take a while, I've been doing this for a year and a half and I'm still working at it, but what matters is that I'm better)

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forgot i made this account to vent about chronic illness stuff. anyways i had my appointment with a spine doctor today and it didn’t go great. it wasn’t horrible? like i got good news that my back numbness should resolve! …somewhere within 18 months. and if it doesn’t then that’s a problem that needs addressing. but the fact that it doesn’t have tingling is apparently a good thing, which is great!

but it felt like the doctor didn’t really listen to me and like he just wanted to get in and out. i never got to discuss my muscle spasms or next steps or the fact that i have eds. i barely even got to mention my shooting nerve pain, but it was brushed aside. he basically told me i should just go back to physical therapy with the implication that because i’m young that my back problems aren’t that serious. i’m just so fucking tired of this. i want to be taken seriously. i hate having to go through 3-4 doctors before someone decides to listen. i just feel kind of stupid for even trying, but i will keep trying because that’s all i can do.

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on trichotillomania

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recent conversation

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dear skin-pickers, nail-biters, people with dermatillomania/trichotillomania, people with any kind of skin condition or BFRB:

you are not dirty. you are not gross, disgusting, or unclean for it. you are not less worthy of appreciation or affection. you are not less beautiful. you are not weird or disturbing for it. you deserve every bit of love there is to give. i see you, i know you, i understand how hard it is to stop. everybody who has, i'm so proud of you. everybody who can't, i'm on your side, and you will get there someday. every single one of you deserves all the love in the world and i am sending as much of it as i can to you now <3

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something i think a lot of able bodied people dont understand is that being chronically ill affects your emotions. constantly being exhausted and feeling bad is going to make you sad or depressed or angry or jealous. constantly being in pain is going to affect your mental health. never feeling "good" is obviously going to affect the way you act.

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Me when my chronic conditions are chronic

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Love how when you have chronic illnesses, sometimes you go to the doctor thinking it’s a new acute thing and they tell you it’s actually a new chronic thing! It really is buy one get 12 free around here, isn’t it?