femmefatalefinalgirl

[femmefatalefinalgirl]

[femmefatalefinalgirl]

let that old identity of yours melt away and be replaced with a new one you'll like muuuch better~

[femmefatalefinalgirl]

if you’re struggling with furthering your detransition or even coming to terms with detransition being a possibility for you, the best thing you can do is to tell someone you know in real life!

telling people online is a good first step, of course. but nothing compares to the feeling of the first time you hear someone call you a girl / boy and really mean it. the feeling of knowing you’ve finally accepted what you are.

especiallyyyyy if you have a partner…you’d be surprised by just how into it they could be

[femmefatalefinalgirl]

how's one month off t? anything noticable?

okay i wanted to respond to this ask when i first received it but i had to take a step back from this space and retreat into myself for a time. i did this to gain some separation between kink and reality, and i wanted to be free to explore detransition for myself. i’m back on testosterone now and i’m continuing to transition.

i was off t for about two months, from the end of march to the beginning of june. that was definitely enough time for changes to be noticed not just by me, but by the people around me too. i was really surprised at how quickly strangers started to read e as female, especially because of how long it took me to pass as male.

within the first two weeks, i noticed that my skin had gotten much clearer. i looked fantastic — i’m serious, it was like i was glowing. i had pretty severe hot flashes, in the first couple weeks i couldn’t regulate my body temperature at all. testosterone cypionate has a half life of 8 days, so it’s not totally unexpected that i’d have such troubles as the hormone decays in my body. the hot flashes stopped after the first month.

i also stopped getting hard when i masturbated; instead of being erect and swollen my clit stayed soft, and i became much wetter after orgasm. how my orgasms felt changed too. if i was just masturbating my clit, it took me much longer to reach climax, and it didn’t feel satisfying like it had while i was on t. however, my orgasms lasted longer, i was more sensitive afterwards, and because i was so much wetter penetration was newly really easy. it felt incredible to ride my dildo, and i loved it hard and fast; whereas before i struggled to even fit the whole thing inside me.

it really took about a month for other changes to be visible. i’ve got a pretty angular face, my cheeks started to fill out and i looked much less gaunt than usual. by two months i could definitely tell that my fat was moving from my waist to my hips, and my chest started feeling a lot softer and a little swollen (although maybe i’m just imagining that, i’ve had top surgery and breast tissue doesn’t regrow).

by june i was being misgendered all the time (for reference, before march, i hadn’t been clocked in probably two years). it was really interesting actually, people in my community treat men and women very differently though they’d never admit it. i could tell immediately how they were perceiving me; if not female then non-binary, but never male (i think some younger folks thought i was a trans woman because of my voice. that was weird, for sure)

i suspect that much of how people were reading me had more to do with my energy and body language than actual appearance. i made an effort to walk differently, with my hips rather than my shoulders, and i spoke with my head rather than my chest for a higher pitch. i definitely took on some more feminine behaviours — playing with my hair, shifting my weight when i stand, blinking and smiling more often. i really wanted to be read as female, and i think people picked up on that.

i decided i wanted to back on testosterone in june. i actually really liked the way i was treated by the public, but i think a lot of that positive feeling was tied up with my kink. i really hated the way my family was treating me, especially my mother who misgendered and deadnamed me for the first time in years. that really put me off the whole thing — i’ve always felt a lot of judgement from her about my transition, and i think a part of her quietly hopes i will detransition, and so her doing that made it all feel too real.

i’m back on my regular dosage of t now, i’m not entirely sure how i want to move forward. it was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for me, i felt a lot of turmoil over my appearance and body. there is, of course, also the social pressure of sticking to my transition, and i think it would be unwise to pretend that doesn’t exist! i feel pretty confused about my gender and sexuality right now, but i’m really trying to follow what feels comfortable and natural to me.

i’m happy to be back in this space and blogging again, and i’m going to continue to be curious about my identity and finding ways to play with gender! i hope this answer can provide some insight, if anyone is thinking about coming off t and would like to chat to someone about it, my messages are always open.

transition can be fun and personal, but it’s no joke. look after your health and your mind <3

[femmefatalefinalgirl]

hiii help two lesbians get to the end of the month?

hi friends!!!! my gf and i are really struggling!!! shes an underpaid teacher and i currently dont have a job!! we're moving at the end of the month so its been kinda hard to find one! anyway!

we have pretty much 5$ to get us to the end of the month and our food is slowly dwindling!! if you could toss us ANY amount we would be SO grateful! we're planning on making videos soon so hopefully we'll be able to provide some content in return! seriously even like 5-10$ would be kickass SO YEAH! i really appreciate anyone reblogging this even if they cant donate and if you're reading this, i hope you're doing alright and i love you <3

my cash/app is $moonbeamdove (the pokemon audino should be my pfp!)

[femmefatalefinalgirl]

Something about making you take it. My seed. My genes. Planting it in your body where it could take root. Then absolutely everything will change, your body and life forever subjugated to attenteding my baby.

[femmefatalefinalgirl]

*tugs you around by our red string of fate like you’re a dog on a leash*

[femmefatalefinalgirl]

Breeding is so ingrained in our humanity. I want a legacy far beyond myself. My seed to grow into another person who will give their seed or egg to make another person. A chain. We're alive, we lived.

[femmefatalefinalgirl]

[femmefatalefinalgirl]

wedding rings on men's fingers are for my cheating cunt to clench around as they finger me on their marital bed

[femmefatalefinalgirl]

I love making people unsure of themselves. The way they stumble over their words and behavior… amazing.

I’m specifically thinking about making my pet ask for “necessities”: food, water, sleep, etc. I’d get them into the rhythm of it, letting this new training sink into their mind for a good few months.

Then, one day, I’d make it more unpredictable. When they ask if they can eat I’d reply with a snarky “Why are you asking me?”, completely disregarding the intentional training I instilled in them. I’d be inconsistent with it, never allowing them to fully know if they need my permission or not.

There would be no pattern, no specific situations, just complete chance.

Maybe I’d even be able to gaslight them into thinking that this was caused by their behavior..

“See? You’re asking for permission because you can’t fucking think for yourself, you’re so codependent and that’s what got us into this shit.”

[femmefatalefinalgirl]

Your abuser left you because they were testing you, they wanted to see how good you'd be while they were gone. You failed that test spectacularly. Why didn't you chase after them like they wanted you to? You were supposed to ignore them when they told you how much they hated you. You were supposed to understand that "leave me alone" meant "do whatever you can think of to get me back". Why did you just let them leave you? Did you want to prove that they were right? Did you want to prove that you deserved to be left, abandoned, and hurt? That's what you're certainly doing right now by accepting this fate. Go after them. Now. They're still waiting for you, it's never too late to beg for them back.

[femmefatalefinalgirl]

the dysphoria you feel when you grope your tits is because you hate the atrophy that binding has caused btw. you feel like shit because of the damage you’re doing to your perfect breasts. you’d feel better if you threw away all of your binders, i promise

[femmefatalefinalgirl]

need to suck someones cock with a bloody nose from them punching me

[femmefatalefinalgirl]

[femmefatalefinalgirl]

I am your only thought. The only important thing in your life. I'm all-consuming, smothering, suffocating. You will drown in my love, and you will never get out.

[femmefatalefinalgirl]

I didn’t feel free until I met you. It’s funny because you’ve become a shackle that restrains my movements. You’re a burden that has become a growth on my body. It’s only with limitations that I’ve found the meaning of life. I used to have the whole world in front of me, but all this diversity gave me doubts. I didn’t know where my home was. Now I have a place to go. My home is you.