ferocityflynt

[ferocityflynt]

hi idk if anyone is still around here but i’m going to be remaking zane because i’ve been suddenly hit with massive muse and inspiration for him. will update when i make the blog and all. 

[ferocityflynt]

Does he live?  Maybe.  

[ferocityflynt]

i uh, kinda miss zane............

[ferocityflynt]

“I’m gonna be about as straight as I can with you— yah one handsome devil and I’d like ta buy you a drink.” He’s certainly not shy about flirting with strangers. Especially tall ones with impeccable taste in facial hair. “What ya drinkin?”

“well,  that doesn’t sound very straight to me!  not like there’s anythin’ wrong with that–  you’re right,  i am a handsome devil.  and so are you,”  a grin rises to his lips as he turns his head to fully glance at his new company.  usually it’s always young guys hitting on him,  so it’s nice to see a change of pace.  real nice.  “never been to this place before.  you got any recommendations on the strongest,  shittiest tastin’ drink?  i need a real strong punch.  either by a drink or by you punching me–  i’m okay with either!”

[ferocityflynt]

i see rdr talk on the dash so uhhhh i’ve got my main blog over at @hellbentwidow if you want some violent yeehaw times ;)

[ferocityflynt]

tik tok by kesha is zane’s theme song. i don’t make the rules.

[ferocityflynt]

my favorite headcanon will always be that zane is so fucking tall and so fucking dumb and excitable that he smacks his head on doorways at least once a day

[ferocityflynt]

Zane’s first wife was Caitlín Byrne. The most Irish woman he’s ever met. He met her when he was 16 and still technically living with his brothers.  she was 19 during that time and offered to buy him a meal when he was out doing some stupid,  dangerous errands for Baron because,  in her words,  you’re skinnier than my arm,  boy.  she worked at her mother’s bar in the Dead Sands area in Pandora.  zane became stricken with her extremely quickly because he was young and going through puberty and she was the first person to ever be nice to him.  he’d steal money from his brothers so every time he went to her bar he was able to tip her and spend hours and hours with her.  she was in a similar position as him– being raised by someone abusive and forced to do whatever the hell they wanted.  so they eloped when zane turned 17.  they were both extremely young and a little dumb.  too young and dumb to go into the wasteland by themselves.  they were married for 3 years before Captain coincidentally shot up Caitlin’s bar,  killing her mother in the process.  She found out very fast and she blamed herself & zane for it.  if she hadn’t left with zane,  Captain most likely wouldn’t have gotten annoyed with Zane not being easy to find and he wouldn’t have sent his men in as some sort of petty revenge towards zane.  they both returned to the bar as soon as they heard the news and zane was definitely not expecting his brother’s men to attack them.  they were under order to kill anyone in the bar and so when cait and zane walked in,  they immediately fired.  Captain claims he didn’t mean to kill zane’s girl,  that it was an accident and he didn’t know they’d show back up.  it’s hard to tell if he’s being honest or not.  cait was killed almost immediately and zane’s skinny self buried her and her mother together.  he never was in love with her but he did love her very much and losing her was tough.  she’s the main reason he adopted the Irish accent.  she taught him how to use it as if it was his own.  the bar still stands,  but of course it’s just occupied by bandits and rotting wood.

then he married Elijah (last name unknown, though he took up Flynt after they got married).  they met in their black-ops unit.  Elijah did NOT like zane at first since he was much more serious and zane had a tendency of always goofing off and being loud,  but after they got stuck together in a life-or-death mission where Elijah had his leg blown off and Zane helped get him to safety and made sure he didn’t bleed out,  they started getting close.  really close.  Elijah was 34 and Zane was 22 when they got married.  due to the loss of his leg and how demanding their black ops unit was,  he had to be discharged.  he took it really rough but zane was always there to try and comfort him and yeah,  maybe he did steal even more money from his brothers so Elijah could afford a really good prosthetic leg.  he doesn’t regret it at all.  they lived together for the entirety of their marriage,  even if zane wasn’t around all too often since he was always deployed.  zane got really,  really close to falling in love with him.  he probably would have if elijah hadn’t ended up ruining things.  zane wasn’t around often enough and elijah was lonely and suffering with the newfound uselessness,  so he ended up sleeping with the closest person that offered him a shoulder and comforting arms.  he at least told zane the moment he came back and was incredibly guilty about it and regretted it so much,  but zane has never and will never be the type to forgive cheating partners.  so they got a divorce,  much to Elijah’s dismay.  it wasn’t fun and it hurt a lot,  but what can you do.  Elijah is still alive and kicking and working as a mercenary in Pandora.

Renata Chéng,  oh he was infatuated with her.  she’s a good ol’ bounty hunter and zane had a gorgeous bounty on his head.  so she hunted him down.  she’s been in the business for over 15 years but finding zane was a very difficult task.  during that time he was hopping from planet to planet to evade the bounty hunters,  all the while doing jobs for anyone paying enough.  she set up a real nice trap for him,  pretended to be an up-and-coming CEO willing to pay millions to anyone able to kill her competitors.  he showed up,  eager and puppy faced and–  she shot him in the knees.  didn’t bother listening to him trying to come up with a compromise,  just scooped him up and took him to the person that hired her.  dropped him off like a sack of potatoes.  told him see ya never,  handsome.  and…  he got a boner.  turns out lust makes a guy do crazy things,  like suddenly have enough strength to fight off 10+ men.  of course Renata heard all the guns going off but she’d been paid so she didn’t care,  just hung outside waiting to see who the hell would walk out of that bloodbath.  and lo and behind,  it was Zane limping pathetically and immediately hitting on her,  even though she almost got him killed.  nothing’s personal in the bounty hunting world.  their relationship started off as strictly sexual because she was smoking hot and dangerous and kinky and he was super into that.  he asked her to marry him about two weeks into them knowing each other,  and she said yes because why the hell not.  they’d do jobs together and zane cared for her more than she cared for him,  which is why it was so easy to literally stab him in the back 8 months into their marriage to hand him over to someone offering an insane amount for him.  she felt a little bad,  but that guilt was gone when she got paid.  she found out he survived and when she gets bored she tries to find him again.  needless to say,  zane turns into a sex maniac when she’s around and she knows it.  they’ve hooked up several times after her betrayal because zane is a fucking HIMBO.  she’s still alive and one of the wealthiest women in the galaxy and frankly?  someone needs to write her.  

[ferocityflynt]

zane at the wedding really made him want to get married again.  the craziness and the chaos of it all was a big bonus for him because...  he’s a chaotic mess and he thinks hammerlock and wainwright had the BEST wedding of all time.  and zane has had some crazy weddings,  but nothing like that.  ancient eldritch monsters?? tentacles?? possession?? yeah.  he had fun and got insanely and unnaturally emotional marrying those two & he wants a marriage NOW,

[ferocityflynt]

[ferocityflynt]

anyway,  zane,  hammerlock and alistair?  bffs 4 lyfe

[ferocityflynt]

{|ivegotahunch|}: "Haven't... Haven't I met you before?"

oh,  christ.  this guy.  he knows it’s not his fault he keeps forgetting,  but also…  how could you forget someone like zane!?  as handsome and as funny as he is,  come on!  handsome recognizes handsome,  doesn’t it?  and burton is pretty damn handsome.  bleeding black eyes and all.  “yes,  yeah.  we’ve met a few times.  you know,  if i were you,  i’d start keepin’ a log of the people i meet.  get a picture of ‘em and a name.  then you won’t have to keep askin’,”  he brings the glass up to his lips,  trying not to think about what he’s actually drinking.  hopefully it’s not anything that’ll get him bleeding out of his eyes too…  or puking whenever he talks.  

[ferocityflynt]

anyway zane definitely got some gnarly new scars from the damn wolven on Xylourgos.  

[ferocityflynt]

ferocityflynt‌:

good shit zane has said in the dlc so far:

“i just remembered one of me many spouses lives nearby and i want to try and get my guitar back.”

in response to if anything scares him: “oh, sure.  birds.  any kind.  big, small.  live, cooked.  doesn’t matter.  can’t even eat a chicken nugget.”

“you know, last queen i ran into was running a cult. that isn’t what this is right? a fish cult?”

in response to being yelled at: “whoa there now! don’t gotta be coming at me like that!”

“headin’ to that cursed mountain! sounds like a good time.”

“you know, i was on board ‘till the cilantro. ugh, it’s like soap, only worse. at least after soap, your mouth’s clean.”

“ah! me granny used to make a mean hate-gravy.”

“yeah, yeah. i know how to hack. that’s where you pick up a nerdy fella and smash him into the monitor until he gives you his password, right?”

“go on and get to the machine-on-machine action! wait. no, i stand by it.”

“what the bleeding FECK is happenin’!?”

[ferocityflynt]

hammerlock: gunplay! reminds me of my first date with winny. zane: oh, reminds me of my first date with...  nearly every single spouse i’ve had!

[ferocityflynt]

just had an idea. ginadryl. it’s when you take 5 benadryl with a big glass of straight gin and let god decide what to do with you

[ferocityflynt]

ya’ll should take a looksie at my zane pinterest