filthyfundie

[filthyfundie]

Happy Taylor Swift engagement announcement day to all who celebrate

[filthyfundie]

Understanding evangelical Christianity as first and foremost a political movement is probably the most clarifying framework you can have.

[filthyfundie]

@onehundredcrocus his accountability partner being his teenage son is wild. My hope here would be that he’s really acting as the accountability partner for his son and in order to have some fairness or openness Mike said “hey I’ll install it too and you can see what I do”, which I would actually applaud.

the accountability concept only works if you care about what your accountability partner thinks of you. And the Josh Duggar types do not care what their wives think of them and it’s not like the men in this case don’t know that they’re not supposed to be viewing that kind of material and they know their wife will see it so if they do it anyways … there’s nothing the wife can say or do. I really see it in those cases as a way to blame the nearest woman.

I used the example of the app but it’s also circumstances like boys depending on their mother or sisters using a code word to tell them to divert their eyes because there’s an immodest woman nearby. “Men are anointed by God with exceptional sense and logic but he can’t see shoulders or he will sin.” Hey ladies maybe if the success of your husband depends entirely on your ability to keep him on the correct track with no room for error at all times, he’s not actually suited to be a guide for you and your children’s lives.

This is saying nothing of the support that all relationships require, this isn’t commentary on holding partners accountable to expectations, this is strictly about a type of US Christian women who put men in very tight boxes with a meaning of what a man is and that definition contradicts itself at every turn.

One thing that has always fascinated me about conservative Christian types is their unacknowledged internal conflict that men are strong, natural, logical leaders born to provide safety and stability but men are also incredibly weak, easily led astray and require high emotional support. Duggar wives are literally like “this is my husband, he’s best suited to lead our family in direct accordance with the word of our Lord but also I have an app on all his electronics so I can monitor his activities 24/7” and this is perfectly reasonable to them.

[filthyfundie]

Yes ! You posted a TikTok last fall and it rewired my brain. It makes so much sense and it’s an excellent indoctrination tactic. And it explains why so many modern Christian’s don’t seem to care at all what’s actually in the Bible because it’s just not about that all. That’s not the foundation of their religion, their foundation is the constant validation and permission they get from doing what they want and calling it the word of God.

It makes me think about the people who were raised in the same ideology that aren’t smug and entirely full of themselves - do those with poor self image think God hates them ? Or do they think the lack of validation means they’re being ignored ?

Also it’s why I think it would be …. challenging to be a feminist and follow any of the large religions teachings. How incredibly convenient that every deity has told men across the globe that they are the should hold all the power.

I remember when it hit me like a mack truck that the people who told me God was "talking" to them were actually just....... having thoughts and feelings

[filthyfundie]

Some day in the near future Spurgeon Seewald will introduce himself to someone and that person is going to be like omg what are your siblings names and he’ll have to list the most average names known to man

[filthyfundie]

Someone tell me when the “Well EYE won’t be supporting the announcement of another BIGOTED BABY” posts start on reddit

[filthyfundie]

Big fan of Jana “fuck your spreadsheet” Wissman, part 2.

Big fan of Jana “Fuck Your Spreadsheet” Duggar Wissmann

[filthyfundie]

Exactly. If it was actually about accountability, the responsibility would be on another man but it’s really about having a woman to blame if the man does go “astray”.

Thinking about it my best guess would be that men are ordained by God as headship without any regard to their personal characteristics. Because they are men they are leaders. So then it falls to women to make sure men are able to follow this natural path and if they falter then it’s the fault of the woman in closest proximity.

One thing that has always fascinated me about conservative Christian types is their unacknowledged internal conflict that men are strong, natural, logical leaders born to provide safety and stability but men are also incredibly weak, easily led astray and require high emotional support. Duggar wives are literally like “this is my husband, he’s best suited to lead our family in direct accordance with the word of our Lord but also I have an app on all his electronics so I can monitor his activities 24/7” and this is perfectly reasonable to them.

[filthyfundie]

I think about “Can you imagine a woman trying to do that ??? NO!” once a month. It’s up there with “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?? I AM!!” to me.

The transformed wife is on one today

[filthyfundie]

One thing that has always fascinated me about conservative Christian types is their unacknowledged internal conflict that men are strong, natural, logical leaders born to provide safety and stability but men are also incredibly weak, easily led astray and require high emotional support. Duggar wives are literally like “this is my husband, he’s best suited to lead our family in direct accordance with the word of our Lord but also I have an app on all his electronics so I can monitor his activities 24/7” and this is perfectly reasonable to them.

[filthyfundie]

Local woman, after 9 years of marriage and 2 children, discovers sex and is making it your problem.

If all it takes to keep your man happy is having frequent sex, regardless of whether or not you want to, then hunny that man is married to your vagina, not you. People who really love you care about intimacy beyond the physical, like knowing who you are as a complex human being.

Fundie women looooove acting like it's edgy to talk about sex, but they don't realize that when they do, it REALLY highlights how shallow and immature their romantic relationships are. Just the way Morgan talks about it like you're "giving" the man sex to keep him happy is so telling lol because she rarely puts any emphasis on HER desire. Conservative women never speak about working on their sex lives like it's a joint effort, it's always on the woman to just give as much of it as possible and I guess as long as their husbands aren't bugging them, that constitutes a good sex life in their eyes.

Anyway another day of being soooooo goddamn grateful that I didn't end up being married to a conservative Christian man, what a chore. If these girls could have 24hrs with a man or woman who actually cares about them as people (and their orgasms) they would deconstruct so fast that it'd make their childish husbands' heads spin.

[filthyfundie]

A really interesting thing that non-healed people tend to do is lash out when they’re feeling envious. The emotions and reasons behind Ethan’s (and Micah / Barry) instinct to belittle are complicated (and also straight forward) but I think a part of it does come down to envy. It’s easy to hear “why are they so concerned with if he’s gay, what are THEY hiding” and thinks it’s a joke or a direct comment on that other persons sexuality but the thing they’re hiding is that they’re jealous.

This will sound harsh but I think Ethan never developed a distinct personality. He had religious rules for who he was supposed to be growing up and he followed those. Then he had rules for his role as a husband and he followed those until he was expected to be a unique person and make changes, that part doesn’t come with a script. So he found a new set of rules to follow. Rules that strictly define what it means to be a man, to be worthy of respect, a regression to the rules of his childhood that tell you what you need to do to be loved.

And here comes along this kid who’s just happy. He does not give a shit, he’s joyful and in love and authentic and unashamed. Ethan (and co) see that and think “hey what the hell. Why aren’t you following the rules. I made sacrifices and dealt with hard things and life is miserable and I’m following the rules.” They can’t let themselves think maybe they’re doing something wrong, maybe they could also have joy and not be dependent on what everyone else thinks, so they have to enforce for themselves that actually it’s this other guy that’s defective in some way. They’ve got to make him and those who support him feel bad. Because that’s how you’re supposed to feel.

It’s a very early 2000’s anti-homophobia explanation from me but honestly. Current Ethan has probably changed so drastically because of the shame he feels about his younger self. When presented with Zac, a spitting image of that version of Ethan, of course he lashed out. And the cherry on top is Barry, the man who created this cycle of hatred, just giggling along. Yuck.

[filthyfundie]

I would have put my money on Jill or Jana back in the day as well.

Out of curiosity I checked the numbers, Jessa will be 33 in November and just birthed baby number 6.

Around this same age Michelle had 10 pregnancies go to term, resulting in 12 kids. 12 freakin kids. Before her mid 30’s. And she wasn’t done.

Don’t mind me, I’m just over here experiencing one of those super relatable moments where the impact of Jim bobs pregnancy kink hits you like a big yellow school bus.

I honestly never thought Jessa will be the one with the biggest numbers of kids.... i always thought it would be Jill or Jinger.. .

I didn't think it'd be Jessa either tbh, I always thought either Jill or Jana would be the mega Duggars 2.0. Funny how things change

[filthyfundie]

Throwback to that time Morgan named a seduction technique after a cat food brand.

morgan is on the pdf/ebook train apparently

look I try not to judge couples too harshly based on appearances, i know things can look way different on the outside than they are in real life. and i'm not even saying this just because i disagree with basically everything they believe. but Morgan and Paul Olliges have the most unsexual, hostile vibe of almost any couple i can think of off the top of my head and i'm sure anyone that knows more than 2 couples knows that's really saying something.

[filthyfundie]

There are always going to be people who want others in boxes because they want the world easy to explain and understand. An unintended side effect of the effort being made to acknowledge all the variance in attraction and sexuality is that some people will use that to say “there so many boxes now you must fit neatly into one of them!” These people have their own issues they’re weirdly projecting on to you.

Labels can be great for some people. They can help with education and understanding and community. For other people labels are stressful. Labels feel like commitment and limitations that they aren’t ready for. Both experiences are valid.

Unfortunately for every friend of a friend who was mad you don’t have a label, there will be a friend of a friend who is mad at people that do label themselves. Do what feels genuine for you and if someone has big demeaning feelings about it you can tell them I think they’re a weirdo and would benefit from some meditative coloring. 

I was recently called out by a friend of a friend for not labeling my sexuality. Is that wrong of me not to do? I had no idea there were people out there who feel very serious about this.

Genuinely just depends on the context (I am too lazy to dig out my "pls always provide context" meme but spiritually, it is included in this answer).

For the most part though, I feel like anyone demanding you label your sexuality is so deeply corny and hasn't unpacked the whole binary of it all for themselves. I guess the only time it might possibly be relevant is if you're in a romantic relationship (esp like an open or poly situation) where maybe they're just trying to understand you more? But even still, I'm really struggling to think of any scenario where labels are absolutely necessary...

Mostly, it's weird of them to get mad at you for not labeling yourself bc what fucking difference does it make to them? Why should you need to slap a name on your sexuality for their comfort when that doesn't feel natural to you? And I say that as someone who prefers not to really label my sexuality, I definitely get frustrated by the people who are like "but you have to be *something*!!!!" so I'm just like FINE I'm bi I guess whatever, just to shut them up. But I don't think anyone should have to label themselves ever tbh even just to make someone stop talking lol.

[filthyfundie]

It was only two years ago that Morgan jumped on the Christian sex expert PDF train. Remember that whole three weeks this was her calling? she preached that the secular world doesn’t own sex and Christian women need to reclaim it by learning how to pole dance and buying lingerie and sending explicit text messages and that there is nothing in the bedroom off limits between a husband and wife. Because sex is supposed to adventurous and wild and crazy!! What’s that Morgan follower that wrote in to say her husband finds her plenty sexy in regular pajamas ? Doesn’t matter he’d definitely like you EVEN MORE if you bought the sexy lingerie Paul all men like.

“Paul and I were struggling to feel connected…I told her we were struggling to figure out how to feel reconnected” two grown married people sat down to talk about connection and neither of y’all thought about sex?? Cant believe all the wisdom in that $12 PDF has already flown the coop.

The emphasis above is because I don’t believe this is an issue they both equally felt they were facing. Either Morgan is feeling a lack of connection from Paul (perfectly valid) and Morgan’s entire existence revolves around changing herself in hopes that it’ll change Paul via osmosis so she reached out for advice. Or Paul wasn’t getting as much attention as he wanted and demanded she figure out what she can do to make him feel better.

Instead of saying anything poignant here I’m going to comment that it’s hilarious some wise church lady gave Morgan the genuine marriage advice of getting dickmitized.

What in the Debi Pearl kind of advice........

TMI incoming probably, but my husband and I are about the same age as Porgan and have been together for a similar amount of time (we have 2 years on them at least but who's counting). Unlike Paul and Morgan though, our relationship isn't founded on an inherently sexist ideology lol and I feel like this advice they're trying to sell as "edgy" is soooo fucking evangelical.

Sex will fluctuate throughout a long term relationship. If you're in a dry spell and it's becoming an issue for one or both parties, the first thing to do is figure out what is the hinderance: are both parties willing, but it's just a time/energy thing? Ok, then maybe mandated sex *for a while* might improve the situation lol.

But in Morgan's case it really seems to be more like, there is something hindering her desire beyond just being tired and if that's the case, mandated sex every day is probably going to make things worse. I'm sure she's already getting nagged, and now sex goes from feeling like a chore to literally being a daily chore for her. Not only will it probably breed resentment, but you can't just make desire appear out of thin air without addressing the mental block that's making you lack it in the first place..

Any honest couple that's been together for a while will tell you that even during the Sex Every Day! periods of your relationship, your deeper issues don't just magically disappear. If the wife (cough Morgan) resents the husband, physical intimacy just doesn't make her accept mistreatement all of a sudden, and of course vice versa. This idea that giving men in particular sex as often as possible will just magically fix all your problems is so deeply evangelical in the sense that it puts sex on the weirdest pedestal imaginable, it's the end all be all but also don't ever talk about it, but also don't ever stop having it because it's the only measure of a healthy relationship lol. When sex is just a small cog in the whole machine of intimacy and connection. To say that mandated sex made you respect your partner more is just so ??????? How is your respect for Paul tied to how frequently you're sleeping together? Why wasn't it there in the first place 👀

Connection is more than physical. And libido, especially for women, is rarely based on physical touch/attraction alone, and in the case of Paul and Morgan I think most exvangelicals can agree that their issues are more than just being too tired to get it in every now and then. They need to address the elephant in the room, which is the biggest issue because their ideology rewards them for not doing that, if that makes sense......... at the end of the day, they're the only ones who know what to call that elephant, but if they refuse to name it (and they will unless they deconstruct) they'll just be slapping bandaids on a bloody wound until one of them dies or wises up.

Also it can't be understated how quickly the evangelical husband & wife dynamic will dry you up like the Sahara desert. Nothing kills the old sex drive like feeling expected to have sex, especially when only one person is being prioritized (you'll never convince me Paul is going down town on Morg). Especially if you secretly resent that person for leaving you to be a single parent all day while you're SICK and he plays pickle ball 😭

[filthyfundie]

Great news everyone, Solie (of “laughed out loud at the idea of martial rape” fame) is now marketing herself as an intimacy expert (for married). For the low price of my electricity bill you can learn how to completely detach your mental from your physical so you can be the always available pleasure object your husband the Lord desires you be!