findtomorrow - Tumblr blog

[findtomorrow]

the fact that someone could be in anything other than an utterly foul mood this early in the morning was baffling to lottie. of course, an early start for her was any time before noon; she forgot that some people didn't have the lifestyle of a vampire in the midst of a quarter-life crisis. "i wouldn't hedge your bets just yet," she pushed her large sunglasses up the bridge of her nose and grimaced as some suit on talking loudly on his phone slammed the door, "company is a pretty loose definition."

There would always be something comforting about a bagel and a coffee. A cinnamon bagel sat on a dish in front of her as she leaned back, sipping her coffee as the Early Gull continued to fill up. The morning crowd was always intense, and somehow every year it just got crazier. Still, there were no better bagels in this side of Massachusetts, at least in her undeniably biased opinion. Indrani raised an eyebrow at a wandering patron, before nodding at the seat in front of her. "If you need a seat, that one's free. I wouldn't mind the company, and this place is only going to get more hectic." The one downside of the Early Gull was that there was always the possibility of running into her mother here— and if this morning, their schedules happen to coincide, then she would be grateful to have a feasible reason for ignoring the other woman.

[findtomorrow]

"are you saying i'm not hot? 'cause that's patently false," lottie's grin went a little sloppy at the edges as she gathered her limbs back to herself and attempted to walk to his car without making a fool of herself. she was, at the very least, a hot mess. a bird nest in her hair wouldn't look too out of place after some of her extended benders. once, she went to a party at hazal's club and woke up in new hampshire in a pair of someone else's crocs. seagull beat unfashionable footwear anytime.

"no, no, no," lottie waggled her finger in the vague direction of his face and shook her head firmly, "if you get drunk then i'll have to drive you home, and the math on that doesn't add up." or worse, maybe he'd end up in her apartment. it didn't occur to her in the midst of her stupor that he was possibly talking about getting drunk without her. clearly, she was the center of the solar system and all the aligning planets. "i'm onto your schemes, old man."

"well, i can't exactly say your skirt is doing much to keep you warm." diego chided, dropping his eyes down the line of her legs. it was a good thing the bartender was distracted or he'd notice the decidedly un-fatherly look lottie was getting from him. but he stopped and reminded himself she was drunk and snappy and needed help getting home. he was a cheater, not a monster. "when you pass out on the sidewalk, a seagull might make a nest in your hair and then you'll be ruined. that ice cold reputation will be dead. because birds will be in your hair."

he laughed despite the way it stung. he knew with absolute certainty lottie was using him to get out her own sexual tension and frustration, and he was using her because she was young and pretty and he was lonely. but lottie wasn't lonely. she had no need for any companionship with the sex. "i promise to forget. i'll go get as drunk as you are after i take you home so i black out and forget the whole thing happened, would that make it better?"

[findtomorrow]

lottie had a rule at work. technically, she had a rule for everything, but the most important one was stay behind the desk. things got messy when she ventured past the three feet of safety to 'get involved' in whatever issue a customer was having. usually, she only broke other people's rules, but today she made the cardinal mistake of offering to help someone. "the lesson here is, " she muttered as she dropped the back of her head against the wall hard enough to smart, “being christlike guarantees you a spot in your very own personal hell."

[findtomorrow]

zara generally didn't drink. it was most likely a side effect of watching her father ruin his life with the stuff ( one of many ), but the drunk fish made a killer virgin long island iced tea. she was used to running into familiar faces when she was there; really, she was used to running into familiar faces everywhere ( that was a side effect of living in a small town with one high school and a graduating class of less than a 100 kids ), but it was a little more unusual for a stranger to sit down next to her, and it was a lot more unusual for a stranger to pretend like they knew it each other. "alright," she set her iced tea down and leaned forward, grinning like he said something funny, "what are we talking about? the fall of society? the genius of gerta gerwig? the sublime experience of eating a chocolate fudge brownie after a very terrible morning?"

from ollie. / open starter. / location: the drunk fish.

ollie had been hanging around for a while, being too loud and talking too much with his hands as he glides from table to table to talk to customers and friends alike. maybe he was here just a touch often for his own good. so of course it didn't take long for him to encounter someone that turned his smile into a frown. in a fast paced manor, he sought out solace in the crowd and settled on someone nearby, "i'm going to sit right here and pretend i've been talking to you the whole time." it was more often than he'd like that he ran into people he should most likely run from, but he's not known to back down and usually things turned out just fine. usually. taking a seat across from them in a somewhat clumsy manor, he sighs and leans back in an attempt to not look like he was keeping an eye out. "are you having a good night?"

[findtomorrow]

"he loves me," zara hummed as she struggled with the zipper with as much grace as she could manage, "and i didn't have to train him for that. it was aaaall natural, baby." the zipper was stuck right in middle of her back, just out of reach from both of her hands, no matter which shoulder she reached over. sighing, she blew her curls out of her eyes and grit her teeth, "so are you going to help me, or are you just going to sit there like a complete sadist?"

she highly doubted that some townie in an uncomfortable dress she clearly couldn't afford would be the distraction theo imagined, but she had to admit that she would definitely be a great source of gossip for the socialites and society folk who expected him to show up with someone with a little more blue in their blood. "i thought you had ninja reflexes that deflect any unwanted grabbing without my help."

well, she wasn't exactly wrong. he'd made a terrible habit of giving achilles table scraps. he wasn't much of a cook, mostly take out or delivery, but still when he did cook, achilles also usually got bits while he cooked. "he'll be too busy avenging me to have breakfast with you. i've trained him."

he rolled his eyes. he wasn't sure he'd ever even gone into a tj maxx, even if zara had. she didn't like when he bought things for her, despite his insistence it wasn't a problem. and there wasn't anything he really wanted in a discount store that had last seasons things that he couldn't verify the quality of. "to show off how wealthy and fancy you are. i agree it is impractical but it is also what people expect to see. you'll be beautiful." she already was beautiful, but theo didn't say that. she'd treat it like a joke. he cleared his throat, "and enough of a distraction i can avoid the elderly women who grab at me."

[findtomorrow]

zara kept her face stoic for a moment, letting winter ruminate in his panic until she couldn't take it anymore. her lips curved into a grin as she held up her hands in surrender, "kidding. don't worry, it takes a lot more than a misunderstood joke to freak me out. i've seen things, kid, terrible things. did you know people actually try to sew themselves to their partner, and don't get me started on the amount of strange objects i've had to remove from people's...orifices." grumpy bear didn't seem entirely accurate, but, then again, zara just met the guy. it was too bad they didn't have confuddled bear or maybe bashful bear. "really? not cheer bear?" she fished out a grumpy bear band-aid and a to-go antiseptic wipe, "this might sting a little. contain the grumps for me, and i'll see if i can find a sucker in my purse."

His eyes widening, Winter's face burned as he stammered, "No, no, that's not what I meant at all. I meant because I would have run into you accidentally, and then we'd both be hurt." His face felt like it was on fire, and Winter felt mortified. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I definitely didn't mean to threaten you. And it was just a joke anyway..." Apparently he needed to work on his tone, which was honestly something he'd been told before. Winter was sure that Zara was going to refuse to give him a bandaid, and he was half-expecting her to pull a weapon of some sort (pepper spray perhaps) rather than bandaids out of her purse, but then she pulled out the box. Maybe it was Winter who had misinterpreted her tone? At her question, Winter replied, "Uh...I guess Grumpy Bear? He seems the most real. Plus people would probably say I'm the most like him."

[findtomorrow]

leonamos​:

leon isn’t stupid, he knows lottie isn’t his biggest fan. he’s been trying to win her over for a while now, but he fails every single time. it’s mostly the foot in his mouth. and the fact that he and frankie are bad influences to each other. but he’s twenty-seven, living with his mate, fresh off a tour with the rock ‘n roll lifestyle. and frankie’s a riot. maybe they bring out the worst in the other. which is sad, but also so much fun. “half of it was wrapped,” he says. leon hates when other people don’t like him. he gets too into his own head, guilt draping over his shoulders. and he doesn’t change. that’s the most infuriating part. he knows all of this. self-destructive but self-aware. therapy helps though. “what did you order?”

lottie was pretty sure half the reason she fell in love with science was because of erwin schrödinger. she too believed that somehow she could simultaneously be two contractions at once. for example, she was easily the most honest and dishonest person she knew. she lied through her teeth almost everything lately, and she couldn’t keep a single genuine feeling off of her face—especially when she didn’t like something. “gross,” she liked a post about the upcoming zelda switch game and pursed her lips, “but at least burgers can’t give you a stye.” unlike some of the other things she was sure girls tossed at him during his shows. “pad tai and red curry. don’t worry; somehow, i’ll refrain from throwing it at you,” she drawled with a little grin because she was obviously kidding and not considering bringing curry to the next show frankie forced her to go to.       

[findtomorrow]

lottie considered the question, and for once she didn't have scores of questionable decisions to fall back on. honestly, despite her lengthy list of past indiscretions, she hadn't slept with a single person she hated because she had a rule against such things ( one of many ): don't sleep with people you feel anything for. it'd been a long time since she was a dorky honors student with color-coded notes and a meticulous daily planner, but, despite all appearances to the contrary, she couldn't stop herself from being systematic about every little thing in her life. who knew there could be so much thought behind something so messy? but some things never changed, and evidently being a paradox and a half was one of them.

anyway, rule #1 was that apathy and anonymity were the fundamental keys to a good, clean hookup. the line between hate and love was far too thin for her comfort, but nadya probably didn't have the same commitment hangups she did. "i think it's fine to sleep with whomever the hell you want," lottie reached for her coffee, completely lukewarm at this point, and shrugged her shoulders, "but if you don't want anything complicated, hate-sex isn't the move."

Nadya listened intently to Lottie, her eyes gleaming with amusement as her friend adopted the role of a casual sex Yoda. As Lottie held out her hand with only three fingers pointed forward, Nadya couldn’t help but chuckle. “Alright, Yoda, enlighten me,” she said playfully. As Lottie explained that there was a science to everything, she nodded along, agreeing to her best friend’s words. While the other was okay with sleeping around, Nadya on the other hand knew the importance of feeling connected with the guy she was sharing a bed with. What was the point in sleeping with him, if they shared nothing in common.

The mention of attraction piqued Nadya’s interest, and she pondered over Lottie’s words. Griffin was definitely attractive. Down right hot would be more of an appropriate word to describe him, but the thought of being with someone she despised was an entirely different matter. “So,” she began, dragging out the word, “you’re saying it’s fine to sleep with someone you hate if you find them attractive?” She hummed, “I guess that’s one way to look at it.” She chuckled at her friend’s retort, “You’re right,” she agreed, “sex definitely didn’t require talking. The question is, can I actually sleep with a guy I don’t want to talk to.”

[findtomorrow]

lottie's smirk flattened a little—but just a little; she wouldn't want julian to think she pitied him. pity, in her humble opinion, was far worse than any other look a person could give you. "yeah, well, sixteen year old julian had bad taste," she leaned back against her chair and chewed on the end of her straw. she used to chew her nails in high school when she was nervous, but the 'bad bitch' acrylic coffin nails she paid a hundred bucks a month for didn't allow for such vices. she thought she'd kicked the habit and traded it for all her new bad ( far worse ) habits, but evidently old habits rose like the dawn of the dead around julian delgado. once she realized what she was doing, lottie set her drink on top of the table and pushed it out of her reach, "you know what, i bet the elven shoe boy is into elden ring. hit up kylie with a little fantasy rpg banter, and you're golden." lottie shrugged her shoulders and grinned, "or, you know, learn to speak french; honestly, it's a total toss up of which one will work." his question caught her by surprise. it probably shouldn't have, considering she teased him about his influencer babes and thirsty followers all the time, but her dating life wasn't usual a topic of discussion for obvious reasons. "i'm not looking for anything," or rather she wasn't looking for anything particular, but 'i only fuck guys who are incapable of giving an actual fuck' didn't sound so cool in the daylight. "what can i say? i'm a rolling stone, jules, and i can't be tied down."

he tries to dodge the napkin and fails, forearm taking the hit as he laughs and shakes his head, "sixteen year old me would beg to differ." it'd taken quite a while to let that blow over, but he'd managed to keep a pretty good front up in front of lottie even then it seemed. it had taken julian quite a while to even really become a person, following theo around was a bad habit he was only just breaking now. finding himself lacking an authentic personality was not the outcome he'd predicted but hey, he'd get there eventually, probably. "oh, in that case i apologise wholeheartedly," he shakes his head, a grin on his lips as the conversation fills him with nostalgia. "i think i'll stick to my violence simulators thank you very much. less time consuming." he rolls his eyes at her insinuation, though honestly he should probably take it as a compliment. "oh great, in that case i only gotta outdo the flawless french dude, sounds easy. my love life just got a lot less complicated, thank you so much." honestly lottie was the only person he ever really saw himself in a relationship with, and though they were long passed that, his own hookup behaviours felt embarrassing to admit. "what are you into then? if you're out looking. i don't think i've ever even asked."

[findtomorrow]

thing was, if lottie had met leon under different circumstances, she probably would've liked him just fine—but, circumstances as they were, he was the 'problem child' her brother decided to cause problems with, and the last thing frankie need in his life was a voice in his head saying all his questionable decisions were fine. personal beef ( ha ) notwithstanding, she could be polite while she waited for her to-go order to be ready. mostly. "wrapper on or off?" lottie hummed as she scrolled through her twitter feed, waiting for her name to be called.

“so i was onstage, right? just shredding the guitar, when this girl just throws a cheeseburger at me. a cheeseburger!” he laughs as he tells the story to the person sitting across the table from him at early gull. “man, those nyc crowds are wild.”

[findtomorrow]

lottie pinched the bridge of her nose and gathered her bearings for a moment until she stopped seeing two smirking diego's. one was plenty, thank you, double vision. "ah yes," she kept a tight grip on the strap of purse as she walked ( in a mostly straight line, thank you very much ) towards the club's exit because it made her feel slightly more steady, "may in massachusetts. i wonder how long i'd last in such moderate conditions."

she didn't say no—mostly because the ache in her feet and calves from her stiletto boots was not numbed by her current level of intoxication. explain that. "but you'll remember," lottie groaned, petulant and pouting like a drunken child, and leaned against him despite the tiny part of her brain that was still sober and screaming at her to fall on her face instead of relying on diego for anything. "and you can't remember because we," she gestured sloppily between them, "are not friends. we're like...co-workers, in the night time."

"oh i get the honor of the general vicinity, do it?" diego teased with only a touch of actual frustration in his voice. he watched lottie teeter as she stood and riffle through her own things to make sure she'd closed her tab, but he didn't do her the disservice of offering to help. she'd probably start screaming at him. last thing he needed was the cops called because lottie shrieked she was being assaulted, especially if the bartender thought they were related.

"come on, you look like you'd fall over on the way down the sidewalk and die of exposure. i will take you to your apartment building, at the least." he set a hand on her shoulder and nodded to the bouncer on the way to the parking lot to steer her gently toward his car. "you probably won't even remember you told me tomorrow, if that's a comfort."

[findtomorrow]

lottie used to be a runner ( she used to be a lot of things ), and in some ways she still was, but she'd lost all the stamina for early morning sprints surprisingly quickly— she'd done track and field for twenty-two years, so you'd think that many years of conditioning would hold out through a few years of dormancy.

maybe, it was because she lost so many things in one summer, but this one surprised her. she made it a little less than a mile before she was bent over, trying not to heave her liquid breakfast onto the asphalt, and then she was knocked onto her ass. "jesus fuckin' christ man," she cupped her hands over her eyes, squinting through the glare of the rising sun, "leave the turbo-ing to sonic. at least he can jump over innocent bystanders." not that most people would describe her as innocent, but still. her ass definitely didn't deserve a pummeling.

lottie accepted his hand after an internal debate over if her pride was worth the pain of standing on her own or not. "i'm fine. thankfully, you knocked me onto my most padded area," she brushed the dirt and gravel off of her leggings, pausing once she finally got a good look at the guy who ran her over. damn. she kind of wished she'd at least attempted to not look so fucked-up and fucked-out, but she hadn't known that she'd run into someone who knew a very different lottie hernandez pérez when she rolled out of a stranger's hotel room a couple hours earlier. "so...yeah. i'm good. forget about it."

i'm waiting around, just to wait here in a room, having a hard time watching you ... as julian casablancas sings to him through his headphones, whit takes a wide right around the next corner, turning onto one of the main streets in downtown kings haven. he doesn't usually go this way when he runs. he doesn't usually listen to call it fate, call it karma when he runs, either, but his usual running playlist just isn't hitting the same for some reason. a lot of things aren't hitting the same for some reason, and he feels itchy, overstimulated -- which is how he ended up out here running in the first place. he's lost in thought as the song slips into the second verse, quickly dodging a woman with a baby in a stroller, and maybe it's the glare in his sunglasses, maybe it's the fact that he's hungover as fuck, but -- WHAM ! he runs right into somebody, and shit, fuck, they hit the ground and he doesn't somehow, and he yanks his headphones out by the cord. " fuck, i'm so sorry, " he says through nervous laughter, holding an arm out and hoisting them up, giving them a pat on the shoulder for good measure. " i'm so fucking sorry, are you okay ? any scrapes or bruises ? god, i'm sorry, i wasn't looking. " somehow, he seems perfectly genuine, even though his lips are curled up in an amused smile. " are you okay? " he asks again.

[findtomorrow]

leonamos​:

“chill,” he laughs, “you know i’m almost broke, right? tour money isn’t nearly enough to cover your stay in there,” leon points to the hospital next to them, “but i’ll get you a get well balloon if you want,” he grins. the tour had been successful, but after splitting the money in five for him and the band, he has enough to cover rent and go out a few times. it will run out in two weeks though. that’s why he needs to get a job. summer is around the corner and he’s still wondering where he could submit his cv. maybe early gull or the record store. anything that fits his passion. coffee and music. “nah, i’m not really convinced on the whole the one thing, you know? chemistry on the other hand? i fuck with that,” he chuckles. “alright. barbecue or spicy?” leon asks as he starts walking to the drunk fish.

“then you should be more careful about who you put into cardiac arrest,” zara shrugged her shoulders and fought a grin, but it was a losing battle, “i’m the innocent bystander here. a get well balloon just isn’t going to cut it. i mean, you did break my heart.” in this case, literally, but she was sure he had a string of metaphorical broken hearts behind him. she, on the other hand, was all about the one. sure, she hadn’t meet him yet, and, sure, her standards were ridiculously high, but it worked out for sandy b in all her movies, so it was just a matter of time. “well, you need to have chemistry for them to be the one; that’s kind of the point.” and in the end, chemistry fizzled or flared out of control if there wasn’t something more. what that was, she wasn’t sure, but it must be a ‘know it when you see it’ kind of thing. she grinned and arched a brow, “take a guess.”   

[findtomorrow]

"wait a second," zara arched her brows and folded her arms over her chest, "are you threatening me? after you just apologized for almost running me over? what is this 'good cop, bad cop' psychosis?" she followed his gaze to the cut on his leg. it was minor, thankfully—in this case, slapping a band-aid on the problem was exactly the right solution. "always," she set her coffee down on one of the little tables outside the shop because searching for anything in her purse was a two-hand job. she fished around through crumpled receipts, at least five chapsticks, and enough loose change to buy herself another coffee until she found the box. "so, winter," she shook the box with a grin," which care bear is your favorite?"

"Yeah, but if that had happened, it would have been my fault since I just nearly took you out when you were just trying to enjoy your coffee," Winter countered, and then he chuckled softly. They were debating something that hadn't even happened, and Winter decided he'd just be grateful it hadn't. "Why don't we just agree that both of us got lucky that this situation hadn't been worse. Otherwise I might not be the only injured party here." And he was injured, Winter could tell by the way he winced trying to put weight on his leg. Looking down, he saw blood streaming down from a cut in his calf, not like horror movie level blood, but enough that the sight of it caused concern. "You don't happen to have a bandage or something, do you?" he asked the woman. "Normally I wouldn't ask, but since you're a nurse and all...I could just rip my shirt though." His shirt had gotten torn in the almost crash it seemed, and he could easily pull off a strip of it if needed. "It's nice to meet you too, Zara," Winter replied, "even if it's not under the best circumstances."

[findtomorrow]

pcvrlys​:

closed starter @findtomorrow​

She had always been the cool aunt. So, when her niece approached her with a request for birth control, she had concerns. Her cousin, Alya’s mother, was conservative and unlikely to approve of such a request, but Mishka wanted to make sure that she wasn’t overstepping any legal boundaries. This was why she ended up at Zara’s door and as she waited, her mind raced with questions. Is that legal, or do I have to be her parent to do that? “Hi, Zara. Sorry to stop by like this, but I have a few questions about birth control. Is it legal for me to help my niece get it without her parents permission? She swears it’s just to regulate her period.”

“luckily for you, madam mayor, we live in a blue state, so your niece can get any kind of contraceptive without parental permission,” zara leaned against her front door, steaming mug of coffee still cradled in her palms. usually, people texted her, or showed up at the er with their medical questions, but she kind of felt like a superhero with the mayor showing up on her doorstep with an urgent matter. if only, she had superpowers instead of a nursing degree. “and it’s my professional and personal recommendation, that she stock up on every kind; you know, just in case it so happens to be needed for another reason.” 

[findtomorrow]

BECKY G  via instagram

[findtomorrow]

lottie grinned a little secret smile as she imagined parker’s version of a “man cave”—not that nell would allow anything that didn’t go with the rest of the house’s mid-century modern, magazine ready theme, but she still liked the idea of a basement filled with anime and star wars memorabilia and a threadbare couch in the middle of it all. “your point of view is biased,” she sighed, shaking her head slightly, “you can’t see the vision, but if you’re so worried about my patrons thinking you’re broke, you can always store some of it at my place.” lottie shrugged her shoulders and made her eyes go all big and round while simultaneously looking up at him through her lashes, “like maybe your flash runs.” 

she dropped herself on top of a large plastic storage container, most likely filled with expensive christmas ornaments from pottery barn or some equally overpriced home decor store, and sat cross-legged with the binder nested in her lap. She flipped through the pages with more care than she showed her own limbs; the bruises on he body from hip checking tables and rounding corners too quickly were an ugly purple and yellow mottled testament. “yeah,” lottie said quietly as she studied the reflective cards a little more intensely. people were complicated, and family was even more so, but it was harder for her than it should be, like learning a language in class instead of at home. if people didn’t just say they cared about her, she didn’t get it. she couldn’t read it easily on people's faces—she was usually trying to read past it to the other parts, the ones that made sense to her: deceit, boredom, ulterior motives. but lately, now that she joined the ranks of family screw ups, she’d been thinking about how she blamed her mom for sticking around and messing her up more than she blamed her dad for leaving them, and how her mom always forced her to eat something whenever she came home because she knew lottie didn’t know how to cook ( despite many attempted lessons ), and how she texted her to ‘please drive safe’ whenever she had a nightmare. when she lived at home, all lottie thought about was how she couldn’t sleep over at her friend’s house because her mom would wake up the entire family with said nightmares. she never thought about how they only started after dad left, just that it wasn’t fair of her mom to count on her ten-year-old to wake her up before her eight-year-old heard what his mom sounded like when she cried. lottie always thought she sounded like a cartoon mouse or maybe a dying rabbit. “might be a good thing,” her smirk wasn’t quite as light as she wanted it to be, “familiarity breeds contempt and all that.” 

it occurred to her more often than not that she was just as fucked up as her mom now, and the reasons they didn’t have conversations like this often was because parker wasn’t allowed to see that. mess was fine when it was fun. drunken babbling, doritos for lunch, embarrassing hookup stories, those were all fine and good and sitcom approved, but there was a whole lot of twisted intertwined with the novelty. it took a lot of work to keep it all separate. usually, it was easy. she just had to keep her mouth shut unless she was making a stupid, meaningless comment, but her tight-lipped mouth liked to flap when parker was around. maybe, she could make it a joke: who’s a twenty-something with two thumbs, no money, and a backpack loaded up with clinical depression and family issues too? dora the med school dropout. instead, she said, “anyway, i can guarantee that you’ll get a second house before i get my first. that’s a hernandez pérez guarantee; i’d say take it to the bank, but they don’t like me there.”   she glanced at the catalog and then returned her gaze to a very stern holographic alakazam because it felt like she stumbled upon a private moment. it was weird going from being in the center of everything to . . . whatever, it was just weird. she never quite knew where her place was when it came to talking about parker's problems with nell. “the answer to the riddle is i don’t have an inkling, but my answer is aspiring models and boomers who are afraid of big brother.” lottie looked up from his pokémon cards, and there was that look again. she nudged him with the toe of her sneaker and set the binders aside, “you know, the way i see it, you’re still in the black. you’ve got a steady job, being a musician of all things, and you aren’t in serious debt. you just beat more than half of america.”

"the observer can assume the sad white nerd boy acquired more sad white nerd boy stuff and not enough money to buy a house big enough to store it all." not entirely true—the basement had had storage aplenty for his collections, as nell had put it, but certainly true now. even then, his compromise had been to put half into storage along with their—her—carefully selected seasonal décor, and some of her own personal memorabilia. parker thought about those guys who could shell out twenty-five, thirty thousand for a single alex ross painting that would turn into a comic book cover. who were they? since when were people like that reading comics, an industry slowly dying because there was no money for it? none of that mattered now, of course. but it was easier to wander down that train of thought than deal with the issue at hand: the categorized downsizing of his life, packed away into neat little boxes.

worse still, he didn't like being this guy around lottie. one of his first girlfriends had told him she liked him because he had sad, soulful eyes, and it had made him feel so distinctly like a creature observed, a bug under a microscope, that he resolved to brighten those motherfuckers up. he didn't know if it worked, exactly, but at least he didn't worry about his smile not reaching his eyes anymore. now here was again, sad-eyed, like someone's old family basset hound. ugh. he scrubbed a hand down his face, as though that might wipe the feeling away and let him replace it with something bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

"man, now i have to prioritize, though, and that's a pain in the ass. because it's not like i can shlep all of this shit into the apartment, and my prospects of being able to buy another house any time soon are..." he pulled a face. "let's be honest, it's impressive enough i ever made it to the first mortgage." dear god, it was chaotic in here. sure, his green lanterns were carefully bagged and boarded, but he'd shoved everything in haphazardly in the process of his move. "you wanna see my pokemon cards?" he fished around a selection of binders. "i remember for my... what, ninth birthday? ryan had made all these trades and cashed in a bunch of favors with his friends to get me an all-holographic deck." his smile grew wistful at the memory, and he dragged out a plastic bin full of binders, unlatched the lid. "i never knew he went to all the trouble 'til, like, years and years later. just one of those things, i guess. you ever think about how you can't ever really know someone?"

speaking of—mistake number two. because alongside his binders of pokemon cards were left behind photo albums of nell's earlier modelling shoots, the ones she didn't care enough to keep because she didn't approve of the final photos or because they made her too depressed about aging out of her career or the fact that she never made it much bigger than print. parker pulled out a macy's catalogue where he'd dog-eared the pages she appeared in. "here's another riddle for you, batman, you ever think about how—" he stopped himself. how fucking insane it is that i was ever in a relationship with someone whose whole job was being conventionally beautiful was a step too deep into self-defeating for the current environment. "like, who even buys clothes from a print catalogue anymore?"