finepairofboots

[finepairofboots]

Dear god that’s good.

And that was it? That was it.

[finepairofboots]

Was talking with one of my very lesbian friends about body dysmorphia and how you can look at a fucking gorgeous woman who has a lot of the same qualities as yourself and not realize that the complement also applies to yourself. I asked her if she'd been watching Dancing With The Stars this season and she said no.

So i showed her a picture of Ilona Maher from this week's episode.

Her response:

"Thigh. Thigh. Thigh. Thigh. Thigh."

So anyway, the takeaway here is that one person's 'too masculine' is another person's 'thigh.'

[finepairofboots]

Someone would mention the 1984 ones or the upcoming 2028 Los Angeles Olympics and Buck would know this fun fact. (Thanks Popbitch!)

[finepairofboots]

There's been something about the woobification of Buck that's been sitting on the tip of my tongue for weeks now, and I think I've finally figured it out.

This is, of course, mostly in reference to the moral outrage about a decade-ish (give or take) age gap between two adult men and the infantalization of one said grown man, so all the puritanism isn't really coming from a place of good faith anyway, but here's the thing that's been bugging me that I couldn't quite put a finger on until now.

Buck has people he goes to for certain things. He has, what are in his mind, experts in the field for most of the things he can't think through on his own, that he goes to for a sounding board.

He went to Hen to talk through the sperm donor dilemma for a few reasons that made sense to him. 1) She's a mom. She has very much had to deal with the reality of 'giving up' children she considered her own. Buck is aware that he would be giving up something that could mean something to him, and he wants to talk to someone who has some insight into that. 2) She's dealt with IVF. She knows the risks, she knows the trials and tribulations, she knows about this thing that he is thinking about agreeing to be a part of so she's going to have a fuller grasp on the enormity of everything this process entails.

And they drink about it. Hen gives him what she can and cautions him where she thinks she should and they continue to talk about it and regardless of what SHE thinks, he makes his mind up in part because he got to talk to his Expert.

Bobby is often his go to when he feels like he's losing his grip on things. He's seen Bobby staring down the bottom of the bottle. He's seen the work he's done to pull himself back into the world, and he's seen the way he fights for his family, his people. Buck leans on him in times of questioning himself because he knows Bobby has pulled himself off the ledge with bleeding hands and a bleeding heart.

He reaches out to Maddie about interpersonal shit constantly. We see it all the way back in S2 when he's starting to question what the hell he's still doing in Abby's apartment, and that never really changes. She's the one with advice for him when he's angry with his parents, upset with the firefam, worried about his friends, or just generally concerned with the way he's perceived by people or how he perceives the world. He goes to her when he's embarrassed, ashamed, because he knows she won't judge him for it. She'll call him out, for sure, but she's not going to look at him differently when she knows he's done something he considers bad behavior.

When he goes to her during the Tommy arc, he's there for one reason he'll admit, and another she has to ferret out. 1) He lied to his best friend and he doesn't know why. 2) Oh yeah he went on a date with a dude that's not strange WHY IS THAT STRANGE I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AN ALLY PLEASE DON'T PULL BACK THE CURTAIN - and Maddie is there with two things: 1) It's not weird but it IS new and something you clearly haven't worked through all the way which is why 2) you'll tell Eddie when you're ready

And Eddie is sort of his go-to to bounce ideas off of. Eddie is his Buck expert. Eddie is the guy who can sort through all the bullshit and who sees Buck for exactly who he is, every time, regardless of what Buck himself is thinking. Eddie is his best friend, and he knows the good the bad and the ugly better than anyone else. He is also, quite frankly, the one Buck seeks out to help him contextualize all of his romantic feelings for people. Eddie's the guy he talks to when he's interested in someone, when he's falling for someone, he's the guy through which Buck filters his love interests into the firefam. I do the same shit with my best friend. It's instinct to want the person you consider the expert on you to meet the person you are interested in, it's instinct to want them to like each other, to get along. Buck knows Eddie loves him (in whatever way you see that love, Buck knows Eddie loves him) and he wants this person who loves him to be at least an active listener as he talks himself through the minefield of relationships. I do also think that up until the events of season seven, Buck considers Eddie sort of an expert on that traditional love-marriage-kids-white-picket-fence relationship Buck thinks he's striving for - in a very naive way, because obviously the wasn't what Eddie and Shannon had and Buck knows that, but he's probably fed some of Eddie's rose colored reminiscences back into that notion.

When he comes out to Eddie he's got two worries. 1) I lied to you and I figured out why but I'm still a little worried you think it's weird and 2) I screwed it up with someone I really like and I don't know where to go from here.

And Eddie (Buck expert) reassures him that just because it's new and unexpected doesn't make it strange, that it doesn't change anything in their friendship. And then he gets right to the heart of it - if you like him you should reach out and tell him that. He doesn't know you like we do but if you give him the chance to, he'll love you as much as we do. If he doesn't give it the same shot you want to he's the idiot.

With all that context in mind, Buck isn't seeking out Tommy's attention because he wants an authority figure, or someone to take care of him, someone to guide him through sex or love or relationship dynamics or any of the other random shit I've seen ppl infantalizing Buck about.

What he's looking for, and what he ultimately tells Tommy he'd like to pursue, is a partnership. Someone to walk (or more likely for Buck, speedrun) through experiences together. The Athena to his Bobby, the Chim to his Maddie, the Karen to his Hen.

So every time I see someone infantalizing Buck for seeking out a relationship with an older man for X or Y reason, I'm just like - no. He has Bobby, Hen, Maddie, Eddie, Chim etc for that. He doesn't want or need Tommy for that. He is a grown ass man who has built these strong relationships with his peers and his mentors and he is so fucking aware of that because he reaches for their help any time he feels the urge for a helping hand.

So yeah, Tommy's older. Yes, Tommy has more experience with his sexuality than Buck. And that - that's really it. Buck's been in the same career for more than half a decade. He's lived on his own since he was no older than 19/20. He's had serious relationships, he has a rich and fulfilling life. There is no power imbalance in the relationship between Buck and Tommy.

And while the age gap may be a bit of a draw for Buck, it's not WHY he's attracted to Tommy. We know because he's told Maddie. He's cool. He's interesting. He's confident. He has a cleft.

Buck isn't going into this waiting for someone older and more experienced to take the fucking reins. He felt like he clicked with Tommy, like there was an immediate connection, and yes, Tommy had to kiss him about it for Buck to actually figure out what it was he was experiencing, but from that point on it was all on Buck (and the people he leans on for advice) to help him sort through.

Tommy didn't do shit other than pump the brakes and try to give Buck the space he thought he needed to decide what he was ready for. Buck (again, with the help of his experts - Maddie for the emotional piece of it, Eddie for the Buck of it all) did the work on his own. Tommy didn't swoop in and overbearingly hold his hand through a sexual awakening. He kissed him, asked him out, realized he wasn't ready, stepped back and then checked in multiple times when Buck came back at it going 120 miles an hour.

And then he did everything he could to prove to Buck he wanted the same thing - a partner, someone to talk to, and lean on, and flirt with and rely on to show up whenever they could feasibly manage it (and sometimes when it's a little unfeasible too).

The narrative even acknowledges that Buck had no reason to go to Bobby in this scenario, when he often would, and lays out exactly why.

Within the canon of this particular arc, we're meant to see this as Buck realizing he has the experience necessary to think these things through on his own. This is Buck finally taking control of something that's always felt like it fell into his lap a bit. This is Buck doing more than treading water until his legs give out.

And minimizing that growth bc you personally don't like the LI he's pursuing is gross at best. At worst it's something much more insidious.

[finepairofboots]

The Magpie Lord by KJ Charles

[finepairofboots]

i'm sure i've mentioned this before, but the 1st thing buck tells maddie about why he likes tommy is: he's so CONFIDENT.

it's not anything to do with tommy's looks. instead, buck focuses on tommy's confidence - which is everything from the way he handles himself in his job and in a crisis to the way he holds himself in conversation and the company of strangers to the way he interacts with buck specifically and just his general personality. it's the way tommy is settled in his own skin and how he moves through the world with confidence; he knows who he is, he's at ease. buck has a track record of partners with a strong sense of self - they know who they are and what they want, or they're at least unyeilding in going after what they want (i would say abby is the exception, but once she was free to live her own life and find herself she left and didn't look back). i think the reason buck likes tommy's confidence is twofold:

1] buck admires him for it, bc buck grew up unseen unless he was hurt and surrounded by secrecy and he spent most of his life trying to figure out who he was and what he wanted to do with his life and he finally found his calling in firefighting and gained a family along with it, but he's never really been able to separate himself from his job or his relationships and just be a whole person in his own right without needing to be something for someone else (as much as he loves his job and the people in his life, as much as they assure him he's worthwhile no matter what, he still struggled with self worth and moreover being at ease with himself).

2] with that in mind, i think buck is comforted by it - having a partner who is so sure of themselves bc in contrast he never was bc he never really knew his whole self. but now with tommy buck's finally figured out that last piece of the puzzle of who he is, and he has a partner who's willing and able to meet him halfway and be there for him and not be scared off, someone stable (who is familiar with the journey) who isn't going to leave to find himself or his place in the world; tommy knows who he is and is at ease with himself and his confidence feels like reassurance, like buck can trust who he is and who he is to buck.

the 2nd second thing buck mentions about tommy is: he's so INTERESTING.

buck likes who tommy is as a person. again, he could've mentioned 'the hot pilot' of it all, but instead he focused on an aspect about him that caught buck's eye even before he knew he was attracted to tommy/men; buck wanted to get to know tommy - that's why he asked for the harbor tour! and why he crashed the basketball game! (partially; the other reason being jealousy) bc he liked tommy as a person, he thought he was cool, he found spending time with him enjoyable and he saw the potential for a new friend (he understood what eddie meant about 'clicking' with someone right away).

and tommy is interesting, is the thing: again, before buck knew he was attracted to tommy he was hearing all about him from his best friend: tommy knows his way around engines and has a car lift, he knows muay thai and has a home setup, he has cool friends and flies new friends to vegas for fights, he does karaoke trivia, he's good at basketball; he has a rich social life; he's a pilot and a firefighter and he's stupid brave; he has a dry sense of humour. buck got a taste of tommy's character during the rescue, got a taste of his company in a non-rescue capacity during the tour, and he wanted more time with tommy and none of it had anything to do with kissing him or getting him into bed, he just wanted to hang out with this cool guy in a casual setting - away from work - and get to know him better.

all this to say: in relationships, buck values who a person is more than what they look like. s1!buck starts out as a fuckboy brat who begins a relationship with someone's voice on the phone; he didn't want to spoil it with sex (at first) bc he valued what they had, it was special and his first real taste of falling in love (that we know of) without knowing or caring what they look like. buck's other relationships started in various ways, but i think it's interesting how much young buck discovering love has in common with 30-something buck discovering a new love with his bisexuality/a man.

one of tommy's physical attributes - he has a CLEFT - is the 3rd/last thing buck mentions.

no doubt buck is attracted to tommy, but he focused on non-physical attributes first which highlights how much he likes tommy and how much he wants to make this thing work with him bc tommy means more to him than just a hookup (or a trial run).

and we've talked about how a cleft is more of a male attribute (stubble/scruff accentuates it) and how buck could've mentioned tommy's muscles or strength or size, but the thing he's stuck on is a feature of tommy's face, not his body, and i think that's rather telling. buck already admitted to checking out guys' asses so he could've easily objectified tommy's (and it is, as we all know, a damn fine peach) but he mentions a feature of his face and that lack of objectification just hammers home how much buck likes this guy. he likes his face. it's giving 'i could stare at his face all day' vibes and if you go back and watch the harbor tour scene you can see how buck's eyes are more often on tommy's face than their surroundings.

tldr; buck's not interested in tommy bc he's 'the hot pilot'. the writers make a point of saying buck likes tommy for who he is plus also the fact that he's a guy, and i love that.

[finepairofboots]

[finepairofboots]

No notes.

the whole “you have no media literacy” as an argument is so funny to me because the same people who yap about it are completely missing the point of buck and tommy’s failed first date. instead of understanding and asking why it ended the way it did, you’re putting blame onto tommy as if he left you standing on sidewalk irl and then never spoke to you again. narratively there had to be conflict, because when people say “he’s throwing himself back into the hamster wheel” well, maybe that’s true at first.

he once again is finding himself in some sort of romantic endeavor without much thought, which on one hand kudos to buck for not having a gay meltdown after realizing he’s into guys too, it’s really nice to see that he’s mostly really cool about this new fact about himself—until reality hits.

suddenly buck is not cool about the fact that he’s into guys and on a date with a guy because no one else knows yet. he’s so caught off guard because he wasn’t ready to share it, it’s new and nerve wracking despite being an 🏳️‍🌈 ally 🏳️‍🌈.

there had to be conflict to get buck to the place he needed to be to continue his queer arc. while its hard watching tommy cut their date short, it needed to happen for the story to continue. it gave buck time to think, gave him time to really process his feelings and work out the issues he was having with his queerness aka being open about it. tommy even said he didn’t want to pressure buck and it’s the reason he cut the date short, because buck didn’t seem ready and tommy very obviously didn’t want to drag it out and end up with them both hurt more so than ending it then and there.

even after bombing his date with tommy he still seeks his sister for advice and ends up coming out to her (accidentally but it’s the first step) and then proceeds to gush about tommy even though at that point, their little romance was over.

we witness buck try to come out to eddie once before finally pulling up his big boy pants and telling eddie “it was a date, when you and marisol ran into me and tommy. we were on a date.” and then proceeded to confide in eddie that he cannot stop thinking about tommy and eddie tells buck to call tommy, buck is scared tommy will say no, eddie says if he knows buck’s an idiot he’ll love him and if he doesn’t then screw him.

tommy says yes. he agrees to meet with buck after the chaos of their first date because “of course” he wants to hear what buck has to say. he tell’s buck he doesn’t need to apologize but lets him anyway because buck needs to apologize. for himself if no one else. he realizes his behavior was bad, that it wasn’t fair to tommy. he owns up to it but tommy still assures buck he overall ended the date because he didn’t want buck to feel pressured. buck admits he wasn’t ready but that after some time and thinking, he knows he can not stop thinking about tommy and what they could be. he invites him to be his date at a wedding, his sisters wedding and tommy albeit dare i say, flabbergasted, ultimately agrees because clearly, he also cannot stop thinking about buck or else why would he have given this a second chance?

the conflict of the failed first date is there to show buck’s growth from that hamster wheel mentality to grounding himself into something he knows that he wants.

that my friends, is media literacy.

you can agree to disagree.

[finepairofboots]

wiggly static pride wallpapers

lesbian | gay

bi | trans

rainbow | pan

ace | aro

nonbinary | queer

please reblog if you save any! <3

[finepairofboots]

the idea that restrooms, locker rooms, etc need to be single-sex spaces in order for women to be safe is patriarchy's way of signalling to men & boys that society doesn't expect them to behave themselves around women. it is directly antifeminist. it would be antifeminist even if trans people did not exist. a feminist society would demand that women should be safe in all spaces even when there are men there.

[finepairofboots]

♥️

real homies respect trans people! /gen

[finepairofboots]

Sorry in advance for the length—

It’s not lost on me that a lot of those complaining about Buck & Tommy’s relationship, their dynamic, and the way they communicate— like Buck flirting about daddy issues instead of having a serious conversation about Tommy’s poor relationship with his father or Tommy returning that energy in kind— are not queer men or men-aligned or adjacent. And many of them are— I dunno— projecting, I guess, what they would want from a man in a relationship, if they were in this relationship.

This is why so many of their analyses include comments about what’d be a dealbreaker for them or what they’d rather see in a partner for them or how they, as a non-man, are turned off by X-Y-Z things men do or say, but in a relationship with a non-man. It all completely ignores that 1.) neither man is a self-insert, and 2.) these complainers would never be a party in this relationship because they aren’t men or men-aligned or adjacent. They aren’t just forgetting that Buck isn’t a self-insert, but that he is a man, Tommy is also a man, and they are into each other because they’re both men. Their dynamic and their relationship is different than the dynamic and relationship between a man and a non-man.

Not being queer men (or men aligned or adjacent) is coloring their interpretation of Buck & Tommy’s relationship, leading to critical— and homophobic— misinterpretations of their dynamic. For example, I bet NONE of them understand that, anymore, “daddy” is so wide spread, it isn’t inherently a sexual term or inherently related to kink. Among a lot of queer men today, a “daddy” generally or usually just refers to an attractive older gay man. Yes, it commonly is used to refer to an older gay man who might support, mentor and/or sleep with younger or newer men entering the community, but, anymore, that is not inherently or always so. The term “daddy” and the use of “daddy” is also not inherently used to refer to kink as they’ve all assumed (not to mention kink is not inherently or always sexual). Yes, it may be used to refer to one half of a BDSM daddy/boy dynamic, but— again— that is not inherently or always so. Fuck— there are guys who use it as a term of endearment and that alone. Like… the term as it’s used in popular vernacular today made the jump over from leather subculture, but its use also no longer inherently refers to leather daddies. Before its use in leather subculture, the word and similar words as a term for a man in a romantic partnership was a feature of AAVE. It then made the jump into queer vernacular through black queer men, and was used to challenge prominent ideas of masculinity by appropriating symbols of masculinity as aspects of gay sexuality.

“Daddy” does not mean the same thing to queer men as it does to them, but they are interpreting the word as if it does.

Tommy’s line did not inherently mean he hopes Buck wants to call him “daddy” during sex. It absolutely did not mean that he hopes Buck’s trauma gave him a daddy kink. There are so many interpretations of this scene, but none of the complainer’s interpretations are queer-competent interpretations because they aren’t queer men (or man aligned or adjacent). 1.) Tommy is an “older” gay man. That’s it. 2.) Buck wants to call Tommy daddy— maybe sexually (related to kink or not) or maybe just for shits and gigs or maybe as a form of endearment— and Tommy expressed he is on board. 3.) Buck has a daddy kink (sexual or not), was expressing this to his boyfriend, and his boyfriend expressed that he’d be into it. 4.) Tommy is continuing to deflect from discussing his own daddy issues. 5.) Tommy was expressing that he hopes that Buck, a man new(er) to the community, wants to romantically and sexually be with a man who is older than him. 6.) Tommy was turning Buck’s banter about daddy issues into one about age. 7.) The conversation was simply setting up Buck & Tommy’s season 8 arc. 8.) All of the above.

“I don’t like it—” “I think it’s gross—” Well, congrats! It’s not for y’all! Now stop judging a romantic and sexual relationship between two fictional men by what y’all personally would want irl and how y’all personally would feel as a non man in a irl relationship with one of these fictional men. This isn’t y’all’s fave fanfiction trope or AU or self-insert; it’s not gonna cater to y’all’s tastes and preferences. If y’all don’t like the characters and y’all don’t like the character-driven plot because y’all are not seeing two men kiss in the way y’all prefer, then stop watching. Please. Stick to AO3 and fanfiction and your non-canon ship if y’all are so miserable.

Like, yeah, I bet y’all wouldn’t interact with a man that way, y’all wouldn’t converse with a man that way, y’all wouldn’t want a man to talk to y’all that way, y’all wouldn’t banter with a man that way, y’all wouldn’t be attracted to a man that way, y’all wouldn’t want a man to like y’all that way, y’all wouldn’t flirt with a man that way, y’all wouldn’t want a man to flirt with y’all that way, y’all wouldn’t date a man that way, y’all wouldn’t have dinner with a man that way, y’all wouldn’t want a man that way, and y’all wouldn’t fuck a man that way because y’all aren’t queer men (or man aligned or adjacent), y’all aren’t Evan Buckley, and— whether y’all want to believe it or not— an mlm relationship ain’t about y’all.

—sincerely, a queer man who saw a post where the OP said they’d STONE (“pelt him with rocks until he dies”) Tommy if he ever made a daddy issues joke on a date with them because they don’t like when men view women’s trauma as something they can exploit for sex…

I’m also convinced none of these individuals have ever been in an adult relationship, because how is that a proportional response? And the homophobia of stoning a gay man? You cannot separate this from the character’s context: he’s a gay man. Like hello??? Also, what a terrible way to bring up a very real and serious issue for women just to try and invalidate two fictional men’s attraction to each other. Plus… neither Buck or Tommy were exploiting one another; you are inadvertently suggesting queer men prey on men.

Uhm... don't ever fucking apologize for this!

I'm honored that you shared this with me, and now everyone can read this and hopefully take something away from it 💙

[finepairofboots]

Gimme your favorite headcanons about Buck 💙

Hi Di, here’s some Buck headcanons I thought of 💜

- After Buck finishes his probie year at his ceremony the team gets him a cake that’s a golden retriever with a fire helmet.

- Almost a year after the tsunami Buck and Christopher walk down the newly constructed boardwalk at the pier and face their fear together.

- Buck goes into internet deep dives all the time because everytime he hears something and he doesn’t know about it he just has to know and his brain won’t let him rest until he finds out everything he can about it.

- Most people get bored of his rambling about what he learns but theres a few people in his life that actually listen. Tommy is his first romantic partner that actually listens and not only that he asks more questions and loves listening to Buck talk. When Buck meets some of Tommy’s crew they say “so you’re the person who taught Tommy about the different classifications of hurricanes”. Buck almost tears up because not only did Tommy listen but he remembered and told other people.

- Buck never got diagnosed with ADHD as a kid because his parents would have to pay attention to him for that but Tommy offhandedly mentions it one night and Buck proceeds to hyperfixate on it and then together they try to book an appointment for him to be diagnosed. It’s a long journey because the healthcare system sucks but eventually he gets his diagnosis.

- Buck loves so strongly because he knows what it feels like not to be loved the way he should so he makes it his mission to show everyone how much he cares.

- Buck never really thought about his sexuality because he was always into women and so he didn’t really think about being attracted to men. He assumed that finding men attractive was just normal but it didn’t matter because he liked women and he just thought that’s how it goes.

- During his first pride Buck goes all out. He dresses up, paints his face with the bisexual flag, and tells anyone and everyone about his amazing hot firefighter pilot boyfriend. He’s so excited. He goes with Hen and Karen and Tommy and they have so much fun. He feels so damn free being able to experience this.

[finepairofboots]

Chef’s kiss.

bucktommy daddy kink confirmed

[finepairofboots]

I mean, I haven't even got through season 5 in my catch up watch, but like WHOA.

literally me for the past month

[finepairofboots]

God, which episode is that patented Buck grin from?

Quarter Final - 911 Universe

[finepairofboots]

I see no difference 😄