UPDATE TO ALL THIS!!
We got arrested
We got a new party member but is in the stagecoach like a cat and no one checked up on him (His name is David)
Dragonborn (aka Guy, that's his name) loses his arm while breaking out
Spider human (aka Doom) throws a bird at a guard to distract them and we get the box of our stuff
We break the box by exploding it
Other guards show up and we all bail
Guy tripped and fell behind
I go back for him to carry him but I'm slow AF
Doom goes back to the both of us but trips and falls (we engage in combat)
Guy gets stabs in the chest
I stab the guard that stabbed Guy with a dagger
the other guards explode to death
We escaped
We now have a bounty (we are now One piece)
We go on the road and get ambushed by bounty hunters
David (who is a bard) yells insults and successful makes a bounty hunter to oof themselves
We defeat them and move on
ALSO GUY STILL HAVE THE SWORD IN HIS CHEST
We met goat people
Convince one of them to get out human meat (how this happened idk)
Guy learns spells to change flavors (this is useful) and cure stomach ache
We met a blind goat man who was forklift certified (literally) and told us a war about Amazon and Target
We leave
We enter a town were we have to pay the toll
We leave
We have to cross a river
We met man to get us over river
While on bout, dumbass time are singing loudly and sirens show up
Currently we are trying to fight them but so far, NOTHING IS WORKING!!
I remove the sword from Guy and use it as my weapon
Guy is just bleeding but not dying somehow
This is were we are so far
My DnD experience so far
Our party is basically Robin Hood
One of member had a traffic cone for a hat and can't see
Another is a spider human
The rest are a dragonborn sorcerer, Halfling rogue (me), ??? Paladin and human ??? (I forgot)
We're trying to find a magic but evil object and we called "Orbeez"
Hijacked a wagon/stagecoach (with a dude that was important)
Because a high speed chase
Once fight was over and everyone entered the stagecoach, the dude was freaking out.
Traffic cone slaps him but got a nat20 so he kill him by accident
Decided to make jerky out of the guy and everyone has +3 human jerky except me (because I was the only one against it)
Decided go to the nearest town to sell the jerky
Met a guy that wanted to trade the jerky for wheels
Persuade him to change his amount
Got 5 wheels, he got all our jerky
guy tells us to go somewhere to find more information about the orbeez
Party wasted 23 mins arguing on what to do next (trade more or get information on the orbeez)
Party decides to go get info about the orbeez
At a bar, traffic cone asks if there's UNO. There isn't any he cries.
I (Halfling rogue/Dorothy) go to the counter and ask the bartender about the orbeez
Bartender will give us info if he gets gold
We don't have gold
I trade my shortsword for the information
Bartender gives it to us
We leave
Guards try to tow stagecoach
Paladin threats a guard and about the to pull weapon but Paladin gets knocked to the floor by guard (skill issue)
Traffic cone tried to get Paladin out of the way but fail and falls on his face
Enter combat (with Pokemon sword/shield gym theme)
Spider human managed to knock down one of the guards and gives him a migraine
the other guard's head is gone (I forgot how)
The last one got hit in the head so hard by the Paladin that he got vaporize out of existence
The vibration was so great that the entire city knows shit going down
We are now wanted criminals in the city
Next session: getting out and heading to the location to find orbeez
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Fun Fact: WHAT THE FUCK?????
REPORT: Angry Birds characters have been found by data miners in the latest #SonicForces Mobile update! Including renders, items, and character models. #SonicNews #SonicTheHedgehog
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