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fish-spaghetti · 2 years ago

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Zevlor x female Dark urge

Word count: 1484

Some stuff that is worth knowing before reading:

This is my very first fanfiction in English and English is not my first language. I tried my best to avoid crazy typos and insane grammatical errors but there may still be some. (And I am very bad at writing)

I am very sorry for creating ooc

I have absolutely no clue how to use tumblr

I named my dark urge as Tav because why not(shrug). And then probably some bugs showed up and the name of my character became the dark urge again. Funny thing is, this actually happened after she realized she is a Bhaalspawn.

I didn’t mean to create her as an idiot, it was an accident and I messed up the stats so she turned to someone who has int 8… thought it will be fun to explain this as “she forgot everything”

Not a “happy ending”

I am so so so sorry

Right, there you go:

Zevlor remembers her, even after all these years.

He's grown old, to the point where he has to squint to see things clearly and needs to hear things repeated three or four times to understand. No longer agile and swift like before, he relies on a cane to move slowly. He forgets many things – a cascade of memories slipping through the sieve of time. Names of people he had once known became elusive, faces blurred into the fog of forgetfulness. Even when he was walking down the familiar streets, midway through, a sudden lapse of memory would cloak him, leaving him standing there, questioning why he started the journey in the first place.

But he still remembers her—the way she looked and her smile. He even remembers to help her clean the armor and gloves hanging in the room every morning. And that blade, her favorite, named "Phalar Aluve." He put it next to the armor, still remembering the translated version of the drow inscription on the blade.

"I pulled it out. Hard. Pulled it out," she said back then, her sentences disjointed, as if it was a new language she started learning recently.

Zevlor remembers how she used gestures to help him understand what she was talking about. A young man, perhaps named Gale, used to kindly help her complete her sentences and pat her shoulder to comfort her when she got frustrated by her inability to articulate clearly.

After all these years, he still remembers her—her eyes, her messy hair, and the day tears fell from her eyes as she looked at him.

"I love you," she whispered gently, and with that, she jumped out of the window and disappeared into the night.

All that has vanished, leaving only a set of armor she loved but couldn't wear, the gloves he gave her, and that damn blade.

Zevlor, with a rag in hand, gently wiped the armor. Would things be different now if he hadn't told her about the things related to the Paladin? He clenched the rag and shook his head.

He remembers their first encounter. She and her companions helped them when the goblins attacked. Afterwards, she threw a punch at the human boy whose name he had forgotten. An interesting young Tiefling, he thought, introducing himself and expressing gratitude to her and her companions.

She looked at him blankly, glanced at her companions, and shook her head, "No name. Don't remember. Gone." She pointed to her head, "Gone. Memory.Everything."

What happened next? If he remembers correctly, it seems that one of her companions suddenly suggested giving her a name. “We can’t keep calling you Tiefling all the time, right? ” But she couldn’t think of any name herself, she couldn’t even speak fluently. So they wrote down several names they came up with and let her choose. Zevlor helped with the name picking, he read those names for her, in case she forgot how to read, and added one to the list.

"Tav," she pointed to one of the options written on paper, then pointed to herself, "Tav."

She laughed happily, repeatedly saying her new name.

She used to have a lute, a gift from Alfira, she claimed. Her brain was like it had been pierced by countless holes, rendering her unable to articulate words and remember her name and her past. However, she still knows how to use a blade, cast spells, and even remember how to play the lute. She even performed a duet with Alfira and was shocked when she realized what she was doing.

Unfortunately, Halsin didn't bring the lute to him, saying Alfira wanted to keep it to commemorate the hero who saved her several times. Zevlor didn't say anything, just nodded in acceptance.

And her staff, she said it’s called the Spellsparkler and she loved it very much. She was an excellent sorceress, even Rolan agreed.

The staff went to Rolan. He said he was there with her before her final battle. He refused to give more details on what happened, just sighed and told Zevlor that she was no longer herself that day.

"She did it for us. She became a mindflayer." Rolan showed Zevlor the staff, "She gave me this staff before they left."

Zevlor felt jealous, jealous that he wasn't there as her ally. If he had been there, she wouldn't have disappeared like this. Even if the one sitting across from him now is a mindflayer, it is still better than the cold armor and other lifeless items.

He missed the time spent with her, the celebration at their camp where she sat next to him humming tunes, and her tail swayed to the music. He advised her to go chat with others and enjoy the rare moments of happiness.

"Tav.” She pointed to herself, “Wants to be with you."

He tried to continue persuading but was interrupted, "Zevlor, what is a Paladin?"

He explained it was about upholding justice and righteousness, to become a beacon of hope in dark times.

"What about Tav? Can Tav become a Paladin?"

"Perhaps?" he smiled.

After that, Alfira took her away to play a duet together. People gathered together and enjoyed the music. Rolan even joined, clapping and laughing on the side. He remembers how good it was to see their smiles.

Maybe it was that moment, or perhaps some other strange moment, Zevlor couldn't say, but he knew he developed some affection for her.

He had once thought he might not see her again. He got trapped in that nightmare, the sounds he heard were not just the screams and cries of people, and what he saw wasn’t just helpless civilians hiding behind him while watching everything burn. There was also her. She stood amidst the sea of flames, her eyes emotionless.

"You should have saved me," she screamed, and the fire ate her alive. Zevlor couldn't wake up from this nightmare. Desperation and agony enveloped him; he knew he was trapped in a dream but couldn't wake up. He saw his deceived self kneeling, begging everyone to surrender. And he saw the people he protected suffered. They looked at him with anger and hatred, calling him a traitor and a coward. But awakening came too late; he was already immobilized, helplessly watching all those tragic events they could have avoided. In despair, he immersed himself in the lies woven by the absolute. Beautiful illusions, where everyone survived and started new lives, and he once again became a Paladin. And there she stood by his side.

But he woke up again. It was her.

Once again, she saved him, after the Grove, she saved him again.

He thought she would blame him, or maybe she would slap him, or curse him as a damned traitor.

"But Zevlor, in my heart, you are a Paladin. Does oath matter that much?" She could now articulate complete sentences, walked up to him, placed her hand on his shoulder, and whispered, "It's not your fault, not your fault."

"It's not your fault," she gently touched his horn, "Go find them, I'll handle the rest. Trust me."

After that, Zevlor saw them a few times, but he didn't dare to approach them, only observing them in disguise.

"If only I wasn't a coward," he thought, cleaning the sword hilt with the rag.

There were many things left unsaid, but even if he dared to speak them now, she wouldn’t be able to hear. Every day, he repeats those words – words meant for her – to the belongings she left for him.

"Paladins uphold justice and righteousness, and have to become the beacons of hope in dark times." she repeated what he said that day, holding his hand against her face, "I can't be a Paladin. I am a Bhaalspawn, I did many unforgivable and cruel things before I lost my memory."

"No, you are Tav. The past you isn't the present you."

"But I can't erase what I've done." Her tone was calm, "But I have a chance to make amends, to end everything like a Paladin."

"I love you," tears rolled down her cheeks.

He wanted to follow her, but at the moment of leaving, he was hit by a sleep spell.

And then at that harbor, Halsin appeared with her belongings.

"Is this the place?"

"Yes."

"She killed herself."

"Yes."

"Why..."

"She turned into a mindflayer."

Halsin handed him the package, "Maybe you'd want this. Inside is her favorite sword, 'Phalar Aluve.'"

"I know this sword."

"Yes, and the armor she liked but couldn't wear. She said if she became a Paladin one day, she wanted to wear it. And... your gloves. She took them out every night before sleeping, saying it helped her sleep."

Zevlor remembered the sound of the waves and the mournful cries of seagulls.

He patted the armor gently and stood up with the help of a cane.

"I love you."

#bg3 zevlor #zevlor #bg3

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