fishatsleepstayatsleep - Tumblr blog

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The parallels between these two haunt me.

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“Anyone ever do this?”

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@pscentral event 20: antagonists ↳ THE LORDS IN BLACK in NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE

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Goat emoji Ted and Tinky for all your needs 🐐💛

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In case anyone's wondering, Ted Spankoffski's car canonically looks like this:

(convertible baby blue Studebaker, as narrated in Abstinence Camp)

And Miss Holloway's looks like this:

(Red Pontiac Firebird, as narrated in Killer Track)

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“It’s Polish 😔”

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The “average wizard makes 3 failed attempts to teleport to Eiselcross a year" factoid is actually just statistical error. The average wizard makes 0 attempts to teleport to Eiselcross ever. Essek Thelyss, who lived almost eight centuries and attempted to teleport to Eiselcross over 10,000 times, is an outlier and should not have been counted.

His anonymously submitted paper presenting a statistical analysis of his success rate and factors contributing to slightly higher odds was unfortunately rejected by every respectable arcane journal in Exandria. No one believed him.

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Just saw a post about dolls and how kids play with them, and I remembered that my grandpa, who had real bad alzhiemer's, would buy me and my sisters the same dolls from the dollar store every Friday. It had became a routine for him, and he forgot that he'd already gotten us those toys

So that led to us having a shitton of super cheap barbie knock offs, and my parents could only sneakily return so many

We also had a shitty row boat, because my dad has really bad adhd and no impulse control. He also had no idea how to keep a boat, which meant it immediately filled up nearly to the brim with rain water as it sat next to our driveway for seasons unused

So what's a kid to do with dozens of unwanted barbies and what is basically an above ground pond at this point? I'll tell you

What you do is take those dolls and stick them in the boat very carefully. Then you watch as the seasons change, the temperature gets colder, and the water in the boat freezes as winter takes hold.

You never really forget bringing your mom out to the boat in the dead of winter to show off the homemade river Styx her children have crafted in the backyard, a dozen cheaply made plastic monstrosities carefully positioned to reach up to the surface in a frozen agony

Those dolls stayed in their frozen hell until we finally found someone who would buy the boat, like two years later.

Unfortunately, I cannot remember what the guy's reaction was when he actually came to see it and witnessed the art installation inside

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I just saw a comment that basically said

"Penelope opens her eyes first after every kiss to make sure this is real and Colin doesn't open them as not to wake up if it was a dream."

Shoutout to cocoboo.mx, congrats, you made me instantly cry, like fully ugly sob.

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fellas it IS possible for a goth girl to fall in love with a cowgirl, yeehaw

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Reminder: If you have no voter ID, apply for a postal vote.

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Yep, still nervous around Pen.

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keep this in mind during the yearly Month Of Insincere Pandering

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I’m tired of hearing people say “Disney’s Cinderella is sanitized. In the original tale, the stepsisters cut off parts of their feet to make the slipper fit and get their eyes pecked out by birds in the end.”

I understand this mistake. I’m sure a lot of people buy copies of the complete Grimm’s Fairy Tales, see their tale of Aschenputtel translated as “Cinderella”, and assume what they’re reading is the “original” version of the tale. Or else they see Into the Woods and make the same assumption, because Sondheim and Lapine chose to base their Cinderella plot line on the Grimms’ Aschenputtel instead of on the more familiar version. It’s an understandable mistake. But I’m still tired of seeing it.

The Brothers Grimm didn’t originate the story of Cinderella. Their version, where there is no fairy godmother, the heroine gets her elegant clothes from a tree on her mother’s grave, and where yes, the stepsisters do cut off parts of their feet and get their eyes pecked out in the end, is not the “original.” Nor did Disney create the familiar version with the fairy godmother, the pumpkin coach, and the lack of any foot-cutting or eye-pecking.

If you really want the “original” version of the story, you’d have to go back to the 1st century Greco-Egyptian legend of Rhodopis. That tale is just this: “A Greek courtesan is bathing one day, when an eagle snatches up her sandal and carries it to the Pharaoh of Egypt. The Pharaoh searches for the owner of the sandal, finds her and makes her his queen.”

Or, if you want the first version of the entire plot, with a stepdaughter reduced to servitude by her stepmother, a special event that she’s forbidden to attend, fine clothes and shoes given to her by magic so she can attend, and her royal future husband finding her shoe after she loses it while running away, then it’s the Chinese tale of Ye Xian you’re looking for. In that version, she gets her clothes from the bones of a fish that was her only friend until her stepmother caught it and ate it.

But if you want the Cinderella story that Disney’s film was directly based on, then the version you want is the version by the French author Charles Perrault. His Cendrillon is the Cinderella story that became the best known in the Western world. His version features the fairy godmother, the pumpkin turned into a coach, mice into horses, etc, and no blood or grisly punishments for anyone. It was published in 1697. The Brothers Grimm’s Aschenputtel, with the tree on the grave, the foot-cutting, etc. was first published in 1812.

The Grimms’ grisly-edged version might feel older and more primitive while Perrault’s pretty version feels like a sanitized retelling, but such isn’t the case. They’re just two different countries’ variations on the tale, French and German, and Perrault’s is older. Nor is the Disney film sanitized. It’s based on Perrault.

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essek saying “anyway, I should get to rest. I expended quite a bit of magic getting to you, bringing us all here... and I would like to talk to my partner before I sleep. have a wonderful night.” 🥹 (bonus: imogen, after watching essek glad out the door, saying “I want to float everywhere.” and fearne affirming “I think you should!” and imogen casting fly on herself and floating up and then dorian casting fly on chetney and chetney immediately thudding onto the ceiling and screeching “fuck!” 🤣)

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