I am an occasionally vegan robot-enthusiast.... I really like Martin Starr and beginning art projects that I never finish. I am also the world's greatest parallel parker.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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Found this little guy, cold & wet & starving, trying to give high-fives to a semi & other vehicles in the rain. He LEGITIMATELY doesn't understand that cars are dangerous. He's got paws for DAYS, so carrying him around like a baby today was both the first & probably one of the last times I'll be able to do that once he catches up weight-wise. Three or four months old, I think? And he needs a good home. He was wearing a weird flea collar (made for a small cat, btw), wasn't chipped, is currently emaciated (he's fluffy, but bony) & EXTREMELY fearful of having his food taken away from him, so unless a REALLY, REALLY good explanation comes along to retrieve this babe with any person(s) claiming to be his owner, I'm making the executive decision that this guy doesn't EVER have to see them again, much less live with them. All that to say, who wants a puppy? πΆπβ€ππΆ https://ift.tt/2OPb1nb
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I'm a thief, @zerolibertad -- you caught me glaze-handed. πππ https://ift.tt/37dytDa
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Maybe I should start giving Norah vitamins.... She looks weird. π€ https://ift.tt/2NOyzYS
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I can't do nothin, girl, without somebody buggin.... https://ift.tt/2nyXpTd
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Norah told 37-year-old me to kick rocks. She's VERY bossy. Guess I'm 38 now. #whostheboss #definitelyNOTme https://ift.tt/318UvU7
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Thursdays with Norah. She's supposed to teach me the meaning of life or something. Idk.... https://ift.tt/2NXQiit
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I'm equally intrigued & concerned about who is sneaking into the house at night to secretly teach her ballet. π€ https://ift.tt/2ZNGMR9
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Poor kid.... NOT. CUTE. AT. ALL. And such a grump!!! πππ https://ift.tt/2HK9L21
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Pacing back & forth in front of a large wall with a random word painted upon it means that you're thoughtful. And babies are no exception. Hey, I didn't make the rules! ...Or the babies. π€·ββοΈ https://ift.tt/2ZxUwUE
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I'm 99% sure that she had been exposed to some sort of spherical object before this picture was taken, but I DO appreciate the enthusiasm. π€―π±π³ https://ift.tt/32jY5Lp
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The Great Binky Massacre of 2019.... #heroes #warriors #gonebutnotforgotten https://ift.tt/2NZZDbb
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Do you think they make this in my size? DO YOU THINK IT'S POSSIBLE TO START A LATE-IN-LIFE FIGURE SKATING CAREER??!?!! #unicornfashionskating #lifegoals #gottheoutfit #nextsteplearntoiceskate #nevergiveuponthedreamsyoudidnthaveuntilthirtysecondsago https://ift.tt/2kbFEIf
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SOMEONE here doesn't respect SOMEONE ELSE'S personal space.... Hint: It's me. I have zero respect for his personal space. πΆβ€πΆ https://ift.tt/2XJdvL2
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Almost everyone knows that I love unicorns, but many of you may not know why. I believe that these pictures of my mother on her birthday may help.... Yes, it's true; I am half unicorn. Yesterday, we celebrated @susanteeter 's 63rd birthday--which CLEARLY makes her about 16 in unicorn years. It's ALSO why I tend to behave like a 9-year-old. Blame it on the 'corn, folks!!! UNICORNS = SCIENCE. Duh. Anyway, happy yesterday & today & tomorrow to my momma. I hope that this year is better than any that came before it. I REALLY hope I inherited your mysterious aging (or lack there of) genes. I hope to need you less & feed you more when you're 64, lol.... I hope, I hope, I hope sooooo much for you & your swinging sixties. I love you v much, Lemonge. Happy burstie week! Let the celebration continue.... β€ππ¦πβ€ https://ift.tt/2LpFwA7
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I was trying to find a picture of my old apartment complex, so I went to the property website & now I'm pretty sure that I was actually trapped in some sort of brightly-colored, adult miniature golf park for about a year & a half. Whoopsies.... π€·ββοΈ http://bit.ly/2W855HG
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I don't usually (and, by usually, I mean ever) discuss "vibes," but we had ourselves a DAY. Sooooo.... #guessmyvibes #ornot #doesEVERYBODYhavevibes #becauseidontfeelthemanywhere #bornwithoutvibes #openlyvibeless http://bit.ly/2wbRaFM
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