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Teetotal - Day One

I am not a heavy drinker. Or at least that’s what I tell myself. 

I’m fine. But yet I’m not. Today is Monday and last night I fell into bed at 630pm after a long day and a few glasses of wine. A few too many (again). As I walked to the bathroom in the heat up the hill I felt like I was dying “how could I be doing this - I have a one year old to take care of!”  “whats wrong with me!” But by then it’s already too late. 

Today, Monday the 20th of November 2017 is the first day of my sober journey. I hate to feel out of control. I have the guilt that comes from reverting to some idiot teenager and behaving like one. I’m a mother who has just started a very important fitness journey as well. One which I’ll also diarise to remind myself where I’m going. 

I hope I never feel this low ever again. If you can handle your alcohol then it’s good, I don’t judge you, but I can’t. It’s always been one or twenty for me. So it’s time to have none. Zero. Zilch. Never again. 

S x