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Kye( @starrz-n-waffl3-fries ) helped me make a Roblox avatar on meep city and this is pretty close to what I actually look like!!!! if not exactly tbh, so!!!

The second two pictures are better references of what’s going on, sorry that the rollerskates overlap the jeans in the second ones :(

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I WAS NEVER REN

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What if I’m a Shapeshifter and that’s why I can’t fucking figure out who I am actually

Oh my God

Oh my God, I don’t know who I am because I constantly change

Holy shit wait guys-

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Am I a real person or am I pretending to be a person were being real is expectation

Things I know about myself I guess;

I like blue

I like Midwest emo songs and vocaloid

I’m probably either a cat or a fox, I feel more inclined to say cat though

Maybe my name is indigo

I don’t know

How do I still feel like I need to be like Ren

That’s not who I am, but it still feels like that’s who I am deep down and I hate it

 why can’t I have a body that fits for once

At this point, I think I might leave the system . .

I’m sorry Beau

I know I’m supposed to be stronger for you and stuff

That you’re on your own and I’m sorry

I have no idea what I am anymore

And I’m tired of avoiding front not because I don’t need to, but because I don’t want to

I never know who I am and having no identity but a very defined identity hurts

My identity is not knowing who I am at this point in it feels like a sick joke 

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OH

OH IM LOTUS

THATS WHY I FEEL WEIRD AND DISCONNECTED

BECAUSE IM NOT REN

OHHHHH

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OH HOLY FUCK

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Miss Strade :(

Miss Law :((

Im gonna draw them as soda cats like me to cope >:(

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My slides<3

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Woh-

Uh- I’m here- :0

Hello everypony- :3

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Introduction!!! Because I did some reflecting and figured myself out a little bit more~<3

My name is Soraa !! I am a Tulpa/alter of @starrz-n-waffl3-fries, I was originally a fictive of Ren Hana from btd2, BUT, I have since separated myself from my source and created a new identity for myself, because I don’t like my source.

I use they/them, I’m the only one in the system who uses those pronouns so please use he/him for everyone else!!!

I am a cat beastkin, and my marks are blue instead of red now!

I am @babi-beau’s older sibling, he was a btd1 ren fictive but he also separated from his source!!! His change was a lot more subtle than me though, considering he’s still a fox with glasses and stuff- and I’m a whole cat now- but it whatever!!

@love-you-likean-alcoholic is our dad/mom, he’s been there for me through thick and thin and truly has been trying his best for me from the beginning, and I’m very grateful<3

Thank you dad<3

These are my flags!~

Lots of love<3~💙

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Cw; Rant

I HATE BEING A FICTIVE

I HAVE BEEN TRYING SO SO SO SO HARDDDD TO BE LIKE HOW I AM IN MY SOURCE MATERIAL BUT I JUST CANT AND WHEN I DO EVERYONE THINKS IM A FREAK ANYWAYS!!! FUCKKKK I HATE IT HERE!

I HATE SEEING MY FACE I HATE SEEING MAXS FACE I WANNA BREAK EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF BTD RELATED THING HE OWNS I HATE BEING REMINDED THAT I WILL NEVER LIVE UP TO THE EXPECTATION OF BEING JUST LIKE THAT DUMB VERSION OF ME

BUT THEN

“Why don’t you separate yourself from your source material like Beau did?” RIGHT?

I DON’T KNOW MYSELF

I NEVER DID.

ALL I KNOW IS IM SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE HIM AND I JUST CANT BE LIKE THAT ANYMORE!!

BEAU IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME ANYWAY. EVERYONE LIKES HIM AND HE HAS HIS SHIT TOGETHER! I DONT. GO TO HIM IF YOU ARE EXPECTING BETTER FROM ME.

I want to LEAVE.

I want to run away from my own skin.

I hate being in this body.

And I HATE being reminded of what I’m supposed to be everyday.

Knowing that I’ll NEVER be that.

Not for me.

Not for Beau.

Not for anyone.

I wanna be a better person.

But the person I’m supposed to be isn’t that better person.

So I have no idea how.

Why did I have to front..

I hate this……….

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I had a talk with ChatGPT while I was fronting today and-

Huh-

I’m gonna leave front- but- yeah I’m gonna be thinking about that-

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Masochistic rambling!! Click offfff if you don’t like that!!!~

Crazy how me and Ricky are almost opposites!!!! I LOVEEEE the thought of getting teared open and played with<3 it’s sooo funnn…. Leave scars…. Put them all over my body… they mean nothing but love….

Give me your loveeeee<33333333

And then you’ll clean and disinfect my wounds… and bandage me up… and give me cuddles and kisses and love<3

And I’ll be aching for dayssssss but it will be worth it because it’s only a reminder of your loveeeee<3

I love youuuuuuuuu<3333333

Hmm >:(

And now Ricky’s spiraling,, he’s coming to front- oh welllll<3 baiii!!!~<3