highly selective | independent | axel/lea from kingdom hearts. written by enya. made june 2017.
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logs in here for the sole purpose of blowing @thalxssas a birthday kiss
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tharanduil:
The elf’s gaze peeled from Lea’s features now inches sideways sans particular aim, the hand previously sticking that bloom betwixt red strands slowly withdrawing. Contemplation draws Thranduil’s brows together, carves deep lines in between. His lips part but no sound leaves them, as if he suddenly opted against speaking what roams his mind ; how bothersome it must be to not understand aspects of one’s own nature. When would one give up hope to find answers ? Richly adorned hands reunite in his lap, posture straightened anew so the Keybearer might proceed with his task at hand, his voiced plans able to even out what tension thought has cast across Thranduil’s mien prior.
❝ Then I hope you will find your friend, and that he is well ❞, pour soothing tones past the ghost of a smile, slow-paced. ❝ Perhaps I have the means to assist you. At least to an extent. ❞ Numerous rings decorating those graceful fingers of his produce a jingling sound when he brings his palms together, interlaces his fingers. The ellon's unblinking eyes meanwhile pin one among many archways in the distance.
❝ Over the past decade we constructed a map of the worlds. I must add, it is a special one. ❞ One which responds to elven magic and reveals more than the surface lets assume — but later. Subtle is the motion that turns his now flower adorned head to one side at last, simultaneously arches one strong brow upward and he glimpses to the side as if meaning to look over his shoulder. Passive regard. ❝ That could be among my plans, to repay a friend. ❞
green eyes widen in surprise, a flicker of hope unearthed in their depths as thranduil talks of giving assistance. a fool’s hope, maybe, since lea doesn’t even know whether isa is alive, whether he’s made it through, whether he reunited with his heart at all. yet the thought of getting a second chance while isa does not ---- no, he has to make sure. he has to go find him and hope that, at the end of it all, there will still be something left of them to salvage.
“ i---, “ his fingers falter on the ellon’s hair as he exhales, soft and shaky, swallowing against the sudden lump in his throat. his head ducks down briefly, free hand running over his eyes against the sting at the corners to compose himself. “ that sounds--- yeah, i’d like that. thank you. hah, “ a short laugh, sounding but a little forced with cheer as he raises his gaze, focus back on the task at hand. “ yanno, sora is gonna be so jealous when he hears about this. “ a pause, before he considers and backtracks, “ unless, of course, ya don’t want me to go blabbing about it. i can keep it to myself.“
another flower is gently added, gaze flickering to the king’s profile. “ so how special is special? like a live-action map or something? “
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even with heels dug into the ground impeding their progress, lea makes no move to slow down, the only indication he hears demyx’ protests at all the sly curl of his lips, the stubborn tightening of his fingers ‘round the other’s. “ alright, i’ve been here before, “ he finally allows when his arm finally starts tiring some ‘neath the strain of having to pull his companion along. “ but that’s all you’re gettin’ from me for now. no fun spoilin’ the surprise! “
though he’d not particularly meant to end up in port royal, portal having opened at random, lea’s first emotion upon seeing their destination had been one of almost childish excitement. not since his stint with kairi had he been back here; he can only hope his ship is still docked, hidden from prying eyes as it is. that is where he’s taking them now, swiftly passing through several bays holding various cargo ‘til he reaches the main hub of the place: the one where all the ships were kept. this is where he stops them, turning on demyx with a broad, mischievous grin and bright eyes. “ so---- how’d ya feel ‘bout commandeering one a’ these big boys, huh? “
@flamereign s.c. ♡
“ alright, fearless leader, ” spoken to the sharp shoulders of a broad enough back, the dig of demyx’s heels was meant to be noticed. dragging the earth and the pebbles atop their cobbled path along with them. “ i’m starting to get the feeling you have an idea where we’re headed after all, dude, ” from out of the darkness, into a brine-scented port and the whip of waves cresting a manmade shore.
“ not cool, keeping secrets, ” even if this rush is the first he’s felt in what seemed to span for years. even if the corners of his lips have long since curled and lea’s been pinned by narrowed eyes for minutes. “ c’mahn, share with the class ! ”
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vilifyme:
𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙴𝚈𝙴𝚂 𝙷𝙰𝙳 𝙰𝙻𝚆𝙰𝚈𝚂 𝙱𝙴𝙴𝙽 𝚂𝙾 𝙶𝚁𝙴𝙴𝙽. a brightness you’d get lost in if caught in the path of them too long. sharp when they wanted to be.. and here ? steady. an anchor to latch on to. grab hold of a gaze that netted him and weigh his odds for an invitation as sudden as it was unusual. weighed the combined mass of their hands, joined there in the sand. demyx weighed incentive against verging desire and wondered, in the way he had of late, how much of it could still be sincere. how much or the lurching want to accept was tied to his interests and how much was the result of that old, nagging fear that he’d vanish, here, alone some day. forgotten because it was just that easy.
fingers twitched. they curled against shifting grains before relenting just as easily. “ you want me to— ” without the shackle of a mission-title, the venture felt strange. no need to go. no one with sharp teeth sneering orders and scribbling fine details in the margin of a paper he’d had crumpled in his pocket once received. no purpose. no drive save for their own and, where demyx’s had wilted, a peculiar sort of fire sat in that stare.
lea burned for different reasons, now..
the lock isn’t quick. he doesn’t surge, tide-like, into a grasp that sinks its grip on digits that’d made their commitment known for having stayed overlong. but it settles all the same. a cinch that insists a strength he’d been oft accused of lacking. determination.. acceptance.
“ y’know, i used to think i didn’t know how it happened, ” a somber tone for his secrets, shadowed as they were, “ but every time i look out across that water i remember a little more. ” the salty burn of brine in his throat and eyes. between full and empty, heart and lungs. nobodies come from all sorts of places, but, rarely are they pleasant. “ —and i don’t think i want all those answers. ”
it’s as good a reason as any for the way his heels plant. push boots into what readily swallowed till it was overcome and his stand stretched the link of their hands to length. put a proposition of his own, there, in between. where lea could second-guess his offer and recant without feeling whatever it was a heart drove him to feel. guilty ? obligated ? holding onto an old attachment that didn’t so much belong to him as it did an absent third party. axel who wouldn’t have idled so long or waited for him to catch up. not every change was for the worse. “ i still jangle at night though.. fair warning, man. ”
fair.. a funny word when situated in these conversations. what in all of this had ever been fair ? and why was it so easy to grin, still, in spite of it ? “ last chance.. ” take it back before you can’t.
lea watches intently as demyx’ features run a gamut of expressions, emotive in a way nobodies shouldn’t be, until the determination in his gaze seems to match his own, making his heart do a funny little jump in his chest. part of him had expected a rejection, have his offer be brushed off with a joke like the other was wont to do whenever things got serious. it’s nice to know he’s not the only one changed by experience. not being under the yoke of the organization, constantly having to fear complete annihilation will do that, he supposes. even to a nobody. besides, hasn’t he learned by now that that thinking had been fed by lies? that nobodies are actually capable of growing hearts the more bonds they seem to form? he wonders if demyx knows. wonders if that’s something he may want. wonders if he’s the one that might become one of the reasons for it to flourish.
it’s a nice thought.
he offers no comfort or platitudes at the almost confession, nothing but an understanding little smile. considering the lengths axel had gone through to forget the past, including the moment of his creation, lea cannot blame demyx for not wanting to delve deeper. whatever reason the other had for accepting his invitation to run away with him. there’s little reason for him to judge it. maybe axel might have. axel might have pushed and prodded for more. but he’s not axel.
with a snort, he pushes himself up to stand as well, chancing to link their fingers rather than letting go. a sign enough he’s deadly serious about this, jangling or not. “ and i still snore, “ he counters with no little amount of dry amusement, keyblade appearing in his free hand to open another portal with. “ so we’ll both have our burdens to bear. c’ mon, let’s blow this popsicle stand. “
it comes easier than the first time, buoyed by the lightness he feels in his chest, the budding excitement of knowing he’ll not have to go at this journey alone, despite knowing it’d been his own choice to begin with; but unlike with any of the others, the history between him and demyx is not quite as fraught with guilt and loss of trust, not quite as weighed down by obligation. he doesn’t feel the same fear of miss-stepping or fumbling in his social graces, doesn’t fear the chance of speaking out of turn or out of line. there’s less pressure to try and be someone he thinks he might not have the capacity of being since neither of them truly know who they are yet.
the portal appears and lea doesn’t hesitate in pulling them both through, away from that empty and desolate beach. what meets them instead is sun, blue skies, the shouts of people in the distance and the curious smell of fish and brine; he recognizes the place pretty much immediately merely from the sails of the ships he sees anchored at the docks, even as small as they looked from where they’d arrived into this world. “ well, i can’t promise there’ll be any less water here, but ---- there’s also pirate ships? “
#vilifyme#v. a second chance at life ( post kh3 )#he's not gonna let go of that hand until demyx makes him js#SBHSBFH
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myopathe:
𝙞𝙩 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙚𝙢 to hear that excitement in lea’s voice , filling up with something akin to validation or close to it . he almost seemed to swell with pride to have been the cause of that excitement , of that amazement , as he took lea with him by choice to study this ancient passages brimming with knowledge unknown . except , it all died away when lea spoke of setting of more traps , turning to him with an incredulous air of anger . ❝ you mean to try and find ancient traps hidden within this temple ? you’ll bring the entire limestone down upon us , fool . ❞ he admonished , tossing the arrowhead to the side with pure disdain . ❝ this place is sacred . it would doubtless be protected by myriad of traps , puzzles , perhaps enchantments . ❞ he began to walk again , the simmer of his anger ebbing down . comforted by this ancient place , fingers following the wall of limestone , the faintest of smiles grew on his lips as he continued to speak of the workmanship these master craftsman had built . ❝ i assure you they would topple over this very building to stop those found wanting of the treasure within its belly . ❞ the hall expanded into chamber , dark and unknown , and ansem looked behind lea to the wall . there stood two torches , awaiting their masters return , ready for lea to light if he pleased . ❝ i am sure that you would not be very excited to spend eternity trapped in this monument with someone like me . ❞ he finished his dictation , and crossed his arms over his chest . ❝ do you care to light the torches on the wall ? ❞
“ hey, why not?! “ lea protested, not in the least phased by ansem’s glare; yet another thing changed between them, for that glare would have had him ready for a fight not even a few months ago. “ if we actually took time to look for ‘em and figure out what sorta trap each one is, i’d think that would pose less risk than me triggering them on accident and catching us by surprise, which, “ he motioned behind them where the poisoned arrows still laid on the ground, to prove his point, “ you know will happen again, no matter how careful we go ‘bout it. “
the next hall they entered into only strengthened that conviction. dark and cavernous as it looked, he doubted even those torches would light more than just a few feet around them. “ besides, i think there’s a chance, “ he continued, with even more confidence, even as he did as bid and lit the torches. “ whoever created this place might take whatever measure necessary to stop anyone from reaching the artifacts within, but as i’d assume they’d still like access to it later, their traps would be more designed towards killing interlopers without harming the structure and risking the barring of their own path, y’ know what i mean? “
picking up one of the torches, he held the light out in front of him, huffing as he was proven right: it hardly did anything to light what lay ahead. green eyes moved to look at ansem again and with a lop-sided little smile, he chanced to bump their elbows together in reconciliation, reaching down to squeeze his wrist. “ and i can assure you, you’d get tired of me faster than i’d grow tired of you, if by any chance we were buried within. but hey, you’re the leader, oh ansem, seeker of knowledge. “
and with that he swept out his arm, indicating the other lead ahead.
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vilifyme:
“ jangling ?! ” it’s an offense that weaves to the core of him. in wider than normal blues and a sneer that spells out what fumbled rebuttals fail to give. some people just didn’t appreciate artistry. what’d come to him in the quiet of lamented evenings that’d have been too heavy to bear without it. meant to offer levity to others, too.. “ it’s not like any of us actually need to sleep ! ” there it was again.
us. it used to sit uneasy for different reasons. overestimating tolerance and mistaking it for friendship. with the others, it’d been easier. they wore their annoyance readily and kept demyx at a steady arm’s length no matter the occasion. but him ? sincerity was never much of a factor. axel hadn’t bothered to feign ignorance to it all. because he had better things to do or other places to be — he’d never asked. and now ? the sand packed firm beneath him, a new shift lacking the movement that’d have done better to swallow him whole than let the discomfort slide back in. shapeless under his skin, into that empty place that asked the nocturne to stretch and find what wasn’t there to be found to alleviate it.
“ say what you want, i heard the snores, ” drowned them out so no one else had to, too. his. larxene’s. down the hall to higher ranks because they all chose to toil in their in-between while he stayed up through his. made greater peace with it than he ever had the sunlit backdrop of new missions and grey matter.
without a heart to weigh it, nothing ever, really, remained light-hearted. confessions of old, grainy memories aside, pushed back further by intrigue, it was simple enough to move on. to seek out a thread to catch at in a story worthy his raised brow. “ —that’s.. ” not supposed to be possible. in all the overlap, there were rules between dark and light. the shadows didn’t fold for heroes. then again, the definition was looking a bit more deflated than usual, of late. “ ..huh. ”
he could keep it there. lea could squeeze as tight or not-at-all as he chose. demyx’s fingers didn’t snap.. they didn’t twitch any more than was owed, pinned down by his gaze that continued up the course of joined arms to find him, there, looking back. expecting something from him. a fight or an answer ; both of which he dug for. clawed through the loose undercurrent that waded in his belly. a bog befitting dull pallor and temporarily clouded eyes what flicked away, back down beyond their coupling and out toward a shore mid-flee.
“ i guess i’m not sure anymore. ” if this was fun. if he had it, or it had him.
the feeling off-set his teeth. put rigidity in his spine. honesty. vexen had prattled on about the loss of self, once. warned that they needed to see this game through or risk losing what made them them. even if the ‘ them ’ in question were a little less memorable. a little less sharp. blurry like lea was, foreignly familiar beside him. like fingers that may not’ve seared, but sat warm over his pulse never the less. finally begged the strain of demyx’s fist and a frown that committed to the sentiment. “ are you ? ”
are you?
and isn’t that the question of the year? lea sobers, his fingers relaxing their hold around demyx’ wrist though not retreating their touch, their hands now almost linked between them in the warmth of the sand. asked so starkly, he can’t even find it in himself to react glibly, or brush it off with a joke like he might have once. but in regaining his heart, he’s also regained that dreadful quality of introspection, of looking at oneself and realizing the person you see is not someone you strictly speaking enjoy. he’d vowed to himself and roxas and xion and anyone else who’d tried to approach him that he would try and deal in a little more honesty. if not with himself, then at least in some base attempt to regain trust, to attone for the shit he’s done. if only it wasn’t so fucking hard.
his heart skips, an almost uncomfortable weight in his chest. he’s not quite figured out yet what he’s supposed to do now, to be able to feel more like himself. that in and of itself poses the issue of still not quite knowing who he even is. so here he is, maybe running, maybe trying to find himself. maybe trying to figure out where to go from here.
lea’s eyes cut to demyx, wide and clear, open in a way axel never could be. “ guess i’m not really sure either. “ and that’s the honest truth. “ can’t say i’m opposed to finding out, though. not like there’s much else left to do, with xehanort finally having kicked the bucket, “ and unless he’s got a third organisation with another thirteen clones of himself stashed away somewhere, lea can have faith in the knowledge it’s like to stay that way. whatever new threat may come along, he’ll leave that to sora and his friends --- keyblade wielder or no. he’s deserved a damn vacation, if nothing else.
“ you could come with me, y’ know? “ the words tumble out without real thought, another impulse coasting on the same one that brought him here in the first place. coincidence or not, their meeting strikes as almost predetermined. lea hadn’t come here with the intent of finding demyx, or anything other than just to see where his whim took him and yet here they were, on this beach, uncertain of where they stand. it doesn’t have to be that way. lea can’t say whether they’d been friends or more or less, but just like he’s willing to rediscover what he considers fun, just like he’s willing to rediscover who he is, he wouldn’t mind figuring out if there’s something to rebuild between him and demyx, heartless or not, on the foundations of what used to be. he tightens their hold, squeezes the hand still held in his. “ i have no fucking clue where i’m gonna go next, but i think i’d enjoy having you along, wherever it is. “
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tharanduil:
For those lighter moments in the span of an immortal life, even the most guarded elf may shrug off some bricks of his walls. The breeze of humor planted appreciation, albeit just fleetingly, or such is what Thranduil presumed upon feeling those nimble fingers stall. Now processing the offered shreds of information, he ponders behind that frostbitten gaze he pins to the bloom betwixt his fingertips. Slowly does that hand sink into his lap. ❝ I attempted to study the whole enigma surrounding those heartless, and nobodies ❞, he elects to hook into the bit regarding Lea’s loss of heart and, apparently, identity.
❝ What I was led to believe is that any wounded heart may be effortlessly corrupted by darkness. But if you bore those powers prior… ❞ Minimally would the elf turn his fair head for another glance back over his shoulder. ❝ Then even darkness must be quite selective. At least have I yet to encounter one with your history who lacks abilities of similar kind. ❞ Sobriety survives the silence which settles for a deep breath’s duration.
Thranduil shifts to turn where he sits to seek eye contact, the hair can wait. ❝ You need not ask the wizard. Not for me. ❞ And fluid motion lifts his adorned hand to Lea’s head, ere he sticks that luminescent flower into a strand of red — an apologetic gesture for channeling the other’s thoughts down that road. ❝ If there is one valuable lesson to be learnt, it is to let the past rest. ❞ He simpers, interest once more tugging at his brows. ❝ You must have numerous plans for the time which lies ahead. ❞
“ ya wouldn’t be the first, “ he jokes, albeit a little weaker than before, his smile rueful. ansem the wise, xehanort, xemnas, king mickey, yen sid and even sora and his little band of merry friends have attempted their hand at figuring out the heart’s power and the darkness within, but even now it remains a mystery still.
lea’s never been one for study, however, rather preferring to spend his day outside adventuring than in some library, so he won’t pretend to have vast knowledge on it all. all he has is past experience. “ but yeah, i never really stopped to think ‘bout what gave us all the respective powers we had. we weren’t really, uh, advised to question things when that time could a’ been better spent on completing kingdom hearts. “ what fools they’d all been, for believing what they’d been fed for so long. even xemnas, in hindsight.
he’s pulled from more morose thoughts by the gentle touch of fingers near his temple, green eyes blinking in surprise as thranduil places a flower between red strands, tucked neatly behind his ear. his smile turns smaller, but truer, a soft flush now adorning his cheeks. “ oh, uh, yeah, some, “ he near stammers, his own fingers halting their work. “ i’ve always wanted to see more worlds, y’ know? see them, not just go there to fight heartless. and.... well, there’s an old friend of mind i kinda miss. i promised him once i’d drag him back home too, when i found him. “ if he found him. he may not remember much, but he remembers isa’s stubbornness, if nothing else. if the guy didn’t want to be found....
he’ll cross that bridge once he gets there. “ what about you? with your borders safe, or safer, you got any plans? “
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i have a day off tomorrow so imma try and do some threads here!!
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Your heart drives you out of yourself, your heart pursues you, and you are almost frantic, and you cannot get back inside yourself again.
Rainer Maria Rilke, from The Notebooks of Malte Laurids Brigge. (via xshayarsha)
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girl help! the popular fanon interpretation of my favorite character is stupid as fuck
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y’all ever see a piece of fan content about your favorite character that is so horrifically different from what you personally believe and you just
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tharanduil:
Amusement curves his lips into a smile, fair head turning minimally for a glimpse back over his shoulder. One brow arched upward in this display so subtle. ❝ Red is your favorite ? Why, that just took me off-guard ❞, clear sarcasm’s lilt laces his baritone, followed by a low chuckle. Thranduil can not deny that he relishes this blissful moment with a friend; rare as those are sown after all, thus gladly accepts the slowness.
He inspects the bloom trapped between his fingertips, watches how it begins to glitter faintly upon allowing his contentment to flow into its petals. ❝ The power you command ❞, the ellon hums whilst strong brows crease. Various thoughts, questions predominantly, haunt his mind regarding Lea’s gifts. ❝ When did you discover that the fire, among all elements, is yours to wield ? ❞
lea snorts in response, his own smile growing at that hint of cheek. thranduil always looks so imposing, so serious, it’s nice to know the elf can joke when he wants to and well, “ i’ve never been accused of subtlety, so ya got me there, “ he teases back, the rueful lilt to his voice more a dig at himself than at the other. “ figured what with the hair and the fire, might as well embrace it in full. “ even as he gets more animated, his fingers never lose their gentleness, flower after flower slowly weaved into the intricate braid he is creating.
but then the topic shifts and his fingers still briefly in their task, his own brow furrowing. when did he discover his magic again? what had been the catalyst to it? “ i... don’t really remember, “ he confesses after a beat of silence. “ there’s a lot ‘bout my time before being a nobody that’s kinda ... gone, really. “ at his own doing too, but that’s not something he wants to get into. “ i remember already havin’ it, when i was axel. remember that it was the first thing since losing my heart that gave me any spark of sensation other than... well, emptiness i suppose. xemnas was the one that trained me in it then. that’s all i got. “ he stars again, more contemplative now, “ i should ask merlin. he already lived in radiant garden when i was a kid. “
#so the headcanon is that#once he got the tear marks on his cheek it effectively meant cutting away his past#including a lot of his memories that still reminded him of his humanity#all so he could deal with the hole in his chest better#tharanduil#v. meeting inevitable fate ( kh3 )
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I’ve never been very good at leaving things behind. I tried, but I have always left fragments of myself there too, like seeds awaiting their chance to grow.
Joanne Harris (via sunsetquotes)
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Lucille Clifton, from The Book of Light; “Climbing”
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lea’s so focused on the task he almost doesn’t hear thranduil’s question, his fingers stilling in their endeavor only a moment before they continue their gentle ministrations. the elfking’s hair is soft, like the finest silk he’s ever had the honor to touch and lea will admit he’s taking it slower than he could, just to be able to enjoy this at his leisure. something tells, from the relaxed set of thranduil’s shoulder lifting with even breaths, the slight bow of his head, that the king, even if he is aware, does not mind as such.
“ i -- didn’t really consider any kind a’ special symbolism, “ he starts, after a brief moment of silent contemplation, as he neatly plaits another section, plucking one of the white flowers to add to the multitude already adorning the king’s head, “ white seemed fittin with the colour of your hair, yellow ‘cause it always struck me as a cheerful shade and uh, red because it’s my favorite. “
@flamereign / 𝓛𝓮𝓪 :
his touch is very careful, more gentle than would befit his usual temperament, but there he is, braiding flowers of white and yel- low and red into thranduil’s hair.
𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥, 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐥𝐚𝐰𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬. Trust earned has to be valued, key to privileges such as adorning the mane of a king who would allow very few near his fair head. With heavy lids blinked shut for a prolonged moment, Thranduil listens to the birds that flit to and fro from the branches above ; their mingled songs as well as the rustling of shaken leaves. Contentment seeps into ancient bones at the sensation of those inevitable, subtlest tugs to his scalp.
❝ 𝐈𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ? ❞ A deep hum carries the query past barely moving lips whilst bejeweled fingers dip into the small basket to pluck out one of the red flowers and examine it through dark lashes.
RANDOM INBOX: In Character
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aight am definitely going to try and reply to some things here tomorrow!!
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