flaretheidiot

[flaretheidiot]

[flaretheidiot]

if I ever strike gold and end up writing a popular book series i'd love to keep an eye on the fandom to determine the smallest crackship and make that the only one that goes canon

[flaretheidiot]

june is going by way too fast for my liking

[flaretheidiot]

they should invent an apartment that has huge windows but is never too hot and is near everything i like and all my friends but is also quiet when i want it to be and costs zero dollars or perhaps they pay me to live in. and they save it just for me so i dont have to look for it :)

[flaretheidiot]

[flaretheidiot]

i will defend every nonamerican who doesnt know shit about the geography of the country because they hear about us too much anyways. you are not only allowed but encouraged to get everything wrong.

[flaretheidiot]

when you have a cat you can experience sensations! some of them are soft. some of them are painful. many of them are wet

[flaretheidiot]

worlds slowest fanfic author tries really really hard

[flaretheidiot]

One should always have at least 2 craft projects going. That way, when one of them is messed up and misbehaving, you can switch to another, and let the first one sit there and think about what it's done.

[flaretheidiot]

If i may ask, why has your kid had a lawyer since birth?

Honestly, because I had unprotected sex with one

[flaretheidiot]

gotta be honest I just fundamentally don't get the concept of hatewatching. like sure I've put a dumb movie on during a get together with friends to get silly entertainment out of it. but whenever another disney live action remake or harry potter thing or whatever comes out and I have to see posts on my dash being like "boycott it! if you REALLY have to see how bad it is at least pirate it!!" I'm always like. bitch you live like this? you watch movies you know you'll hate? you take time out of your day - and you have a limited number of days on this earth - to watch a movie you'll hate, when there are so many great movies in the world that you could love? I'll never understand it.

[flaretheidiot]

Now a house next to us, about 500 meters away, was bombed. Several missiles hit the same place. This is very terrifying.

[flaretheidiot]

Now a house next to us, about 500 meters away, was bombed. Several missiles hit the same place. This is very terrifying.

[flaretheidiot]

you dont have to be useful to be loved btw

[flaretheidiot]

stoned and autistic at a party trying to make conversation: I find the comparative lifespan of organisms so interesting. Spiders are comparatively long lived animals. Female black widows can live up to 3 years but their male counterparts rarely live four months. Some tarantulas live upwards of 20 years. The longest lived spider was around 43 years old when she was cruelly assassinated by a parasitic wasp. Domestic rats have a lifespan comparable to female black widows. To put things into perspective, there are spiders that remember a pre-pandemic world but it is likely every rat on earth was born post-COVID. There could be a spider out there born when Reagan was in office.

[flaretheidiot]

Some of these Night Vale tweets get deep and I love them for that

[flaretheidiot]

one time my mom and i were talking about autism and she said if i got it from anyone i got it from my dad, a man who has been buying and sorting pokemon cards for several months straight and likes to memorize license plates and then quiz my mom on them. and then she remembered that my father is not actually biologically related to me (#childofdivorce) and lost her shit laughing. i got that proxy autism