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[fleuntet]

once more to see you

pairing: miguel o’hara x fem!reader

summary: you’re an anomaly, and despite comments from others miguel decided to have you stay. but eventually the two of you had to face reality of your situation.

warnings: not a sexual relationship between him and the reader, more of a father-daughter relationship!

the last thing you considered he would be doing was this — sending you home. a known anomaly roaming around a dimension that wasn’t there’s was enough to consider you as a threat but there was something about you that miguel couldn’t have you go through that machine.

maybe it’s because you reminded him of her, his daughter. maybe it’s because for the first time in a long time you made him smile, you made him…feel whole again.

miguel should’ve let you go home from the start. it was a selfish act, trying to keep you here for his own personal interest. but he couldn’t help himself. he longed for his daughter for so long that you were what he needed at his times for desperation.

you were soft, gentle, everything that made you you made him think of her.

he should let you go home from the start. but because of his stupid mistake, you were now left to face the consequence — a heartbreaking betrayal.

“miguel?” you shouted out as the machine clawed you, gripping into your skin as you attempted to fight back. “miguel, you can’t do this. miguel, por favor. por favor!”

your voice, the sound of it, was so loud and clear, it made his heart hurt with every second that you cried out to him. he knew you felt it too — the bond between the two of you, one that could’ve been so easily breakable if he did the right thing.

but now he had to listen to your painful cries. he couldn’t bear them if he was honest.

and no matter how much he wanted to console you as he departed you away, his face remained heartless and cold. “i have to.” he muttered.

you shook your head frantically, tears welding up in your eyes. how could he do this? how could he suddenly make you go back home after all the time you have spent with one another? as hurtful as it was, you were oblivious to the reality that surrounded you.

death was waiting for you back home, something that was inevitable, that should’ve been inevitable seen so clear to be inevitable to miguel from the first day he had you here. you were an anomaly. nothing more, nothing less.

pushed into the center of the machine, it started to confine you, and still like a small child, you cried out to him, begging for him to take you back. “you don’t!” you shouted through the deafening wiring of the machine. “listen to me, you don’t have to do this.”

and it almost felt like you gave up with the small whisper you let out in the end. “do you even realize what happens when i go back?”

he did. he was the who showed you before shoving you into his machine. reality had hit the both of you.

gritting his teeth, miguel stared into your eyes as you stared into his. although his words were cold, his eyes began to reveal a different emotion. “and it has to happen.” he said, reminding himself.

you frowned at his response.

“you don’t belong here.”

looking away from you, it cracked your heart into pieces as he could make this decision and not even look at you in the final moments you had together. you couldn’t imagine, ever, that this would be how it ended. when you first arrived here you were scared of the unknown, but with your time with miguel, everything changed.

you saw him as something you didn’t have. and for that same reason he had to let you go. he couldn’t let himself make the same mistake twice.

“lo siento,” he whispered, his voice cracking.

you shook your head, refusing to let him think that this was a good thing. “si realmente lo lamentaras, no harías esto.” (if you were really sorry, you wouldn’t be doing this) before you he could look back at you, shocked at your words, the machine had built its cage around you. engulfing you, you could feel yourself floating for a brief minute before everything brightened against your vision.

(x)

fluttering your eyes open, your body ached against the cold concrete floor. wincing, you pushed your upper body up, closing your eyes in pain for a minute. through the silence that surrounded you, you could only hear your loud heaving pants that you let out. “fuck…” you breathed out.

that’s when panic began to strike you as you realized you were not immediately dead. that could only mean one thing — you didn’t have much time left.

looking up, the only thing that you managed to make out that was surrounding you was tall buildings in which the edges slipped out water. that’s when you felt rain caress your body, a smooth and relaxing feeling compared to the your aching body.

your breathing began to come quicker, hitching every now and then. “no,” you whispered. “no, no, no!” you looked down at your hand. no watch.

if you had the strength, you’d cry out. but with all the crying and fighting back a few minutes ago, there was barely any strength in you left.

godammit, i lost the watch, you cursed at yourself.

regret filled your conscious. you should’ve never thought so highly of him, a man you knew deep inside was just another selfish and cruel man. as your mind collapsed all the memories that you two had of each other, nothing could prepare you for the sudden appearance of what would cause your death — goblin.

“i was starting to think you ran away from me.” his mocking tone of words sent a chill going through your spine. knowing your situation, you knew there was no escaping this. if this is what he thought was important, what else could you do? he left you here. abandoned you.

(x)

returning to his office, miguel couldn’t seem to shake off the guilt that filled with every bone. to his daughter, he only wanted what was best for her, he wanted to give her the world, and he hopes she knew that, although that he was the reason that she died.

hope came back when he first saw you. with you he felt like he could see his little daughter again. he felt happy. something he so desperately wanted. and he wished he could keep that.

“lyla?” he called out. in a matter of seconds, she appeared along his shoulder.

“yeah?”, her tone was soft compared to the other times she would be called for. despite her comments as to how you shouldn’t have ever stayed, she knew miguel inside and out, and so she knew that this decision was a hard one for him to make.

staring at his screen, the one image he would always go back to stared at him back. taunting him almost. he couldn’t help but his feelings absorb him as tears were threatening to be released. sighing, he asked, “is it always gonna be the same outcome?”

“there’s a slight possibility. a fifty six percent, more or less.”

clenching his teeth, he pulled himself together. you were hope to him. to him, you gave him hope. he wasn’t stuck in a dream anymore, you were his reality. and if there was a chance, a small chance that he could fix his wrongs, for the two of you he would.

“give me her coordinates. now.”

[fleuntet]

amor eterno

pairing: miguel o’hara x fem!reader

summary: father’s day is an unbearable day for miguel. his daughter isn’t here, and no one knows how much he misses her.

warnings: angst cause it’s father’s day for pookie miguel

you barely knew miguel. throughly, you mean. you knew who he was, obviously. it was the basic things, the things he chose to show. you knew that he was sarcastic, angry, and secretive.

the day started as a normal one. missions, chatter, miguel staring off into his screens and nothing more. not much nonsense today as other days may be filled with it.

lyla had popped up near you, presenting herself with a cheery smile. saying your name, she said, “don’t get so worked up with miguel today. he’s in a mood.”

“isn’t he always?” you chuckled lightly, grabbing your breakfast.

she shrugged, debating whether she should tell you the truth. “eh, well…” her hesitation grabbed your attention. she was usually enthusiastic about sharing details of him or anyone really. but she was reluctant towards telling you this one thing.

picking up your plate, you walked around the lobby, making it to miguel’s “hideout” to what lyla calls it. while walking, you looked straight into lyla’s eyes, squinting them in almost a threatening looking way.

“what aren’t you telling me?”

“i’m not telling you anything.”

“so you chose to not be a chismosa today?”

rolling your eyes, you made it through all the junk through the hallway, stopping at the end of the road where all you can do is look up. you thought his attention would be at you, but it wasn’t. his eyes, looking straight forward into the middle monitor.

you expected it to be a video recording of one of the recent missions from jessica to stop an anomaly…but it wasn’t. it was of a little girl, small, brown haired, brown eyes, wearing a shirt of…was that soccer?

the little girl was smiling, giggling, the camera only focusing on her before it moved down. that’s when you could feel your heart rate rise. miguel. above him was his daughter, smiling just as he did — a rare sight you saw now. you don’t think you have ever seen miguel laugh, or smile even.

your brows furrowed, and without even realizing it, your hands slipped from your breakfast, causing a loud crash.

“oh, shit!” you muttered under your breath, but with all the space that surrounded you, it was loud as clear to miguel whose eyes turned immediately toward you.

filled with embarrassment, he quickly turned off the recording of him and his daughter, stopping midway in a laugh that the little girl let out. the last of her laugh echoed midway throughout the large space, making a small hint of guilt build up inside you. you never heard miguel talk of a little girl, ever.

maybe this was the very reason he was reluctant towards anyone, towards anything really. it never really occurred to you and you felt stupid. “canon events”, events that shape spider-man. and as you know, as he told you — being spider-man is a sacrifice.

“what are you doing here?” he asked, a demanding tone hidden inside his voice.

you tried to come up with a good reason as to why you decided to come find him, knowing that he told lyla to tell you, and everyone else, to leave him alone for the rest of the day today.

“just wanted to see if you needed any help today,” you added a fake smile as your voice faked a genuine tone. he knew that it was a lie. he knew that you cared about him. he didn’t want that. he didn’t need it. for everything he has done, why would he need-

“miguel, are you okay?” your eyes now showed its true emotion — worry. you knew this was the last thing he needed, he knew that too but honestly, you just couldn’t help yourself.

that’s one of the things he knew about you — you would always manage to see the good in people. no matter how sarcastic, angry, or secretive they can be. he knew that you would put time into actually figuring out what is going on to make him like this.

biting the inside of his cheek, he turned away from you. despite his reaction of obvious rejection, you rose your arm and swung towards his space. at the corner, you hesitated for a second whether you should go this far.

but if it meant that you could actually break his shell then it was worth it. you didn’t want to know the fake miguel, you wanted… needed to know the real him even if he is worse than what you think he is.

“miguel, was that your daughter?” your voice was as soft as a whisper. and even with that small voice, miguel couldn’t help but frown at it, at the question itself.

“yes,” he answered. “she isn’t alive if that’s what your wondering.”

you felt your heart break for him. nothing could be unbearable as losing a child. you may not know that feeling yourself, but seeing as children everywhere around you back home gather themselves around you as you swing around the city, you can’t imagine losing any of them.

a daughter — a connection with them is like no other. it’s not just a child, it was his. someone who steal hearts and takes it as their own. a child that you teach, that you adore and love. it’s like no other love.

“oh,” was the first thing that came out of your mouth. “miguel i am so so-“

“don’t.” he warned, holding out a hand against you, still not being able to look at you in the eyes.

with that, you knew you had crossed the line. pursing your lips together, you looked down at the floor, then at the frozen frame of the recording. she looked just like him. it was a beautiful sight.

grief is a hard thing. and sometimes space is all you can do to have someone at peace. and that’s what you did. as much as you wanted to comfort him, as much as miguel himself wanted it — it wasn’t the time.

so, without a word, you swang back, out of his courtiers and back into your own. the entire time you felt as if you needed to have his back, in some way, one way or another. if that can’t be in words, you thought of another way.

(x)

before the day ended miguel decided to quickly head through the lobby, checking in everything physically. that was a lie, really. he just didn’t want to be losing himself in more photos of him and his daughter. he loved gabriella with everything in his heart.

the last thing he wanted to realize was that the thing that makes him soft is the reason why he is so cold now.

after his quick check up he headed back into his usual spot, wanting to turn off all the monitors for the night. that was until he caught the attention of a white piece of paper that held itself with a piece of tape on his keyboard.

clenching his fists, he swiftly picked it up and looked down to read it. he has never read such words written to him in a comforting intention for so long:

“amor eterno e inolvidable. tarde or temprano estaré contigo para seguir amándonos.” happy father’s day miguel. i’m sure she wishes you one from where she is.

[fleuntet]

song about me

pairing: miguel o’hara x fem!reader

summary: grief, revenge, hatred was all you could feel when you were left like no one at the hands of a spider-man — a claimed hero to all. he took all you had left, and you would stop at nothing to make him suffer like you did.

warnings: description of violence, self-harm and ideation, blood, death, angst

there was no denying who you were now — a monster. it’s not like you choose to be one. you didn’t. it just simply happened at the hands of a proclaimed hero. you could remember it all. the screams, the cries… the screams. oh, the screams.

as new york started to crumble down, you did your best to remain calm for the sake of children surrounding you. you did your best to save who you could save. but as fate had sealed, it wasn’t enough.

the last thing you could remember was just hearing silence. complete utter silence. no voices, no cries, no screams or shouts. just the sound of your own whimpers coming out of your lips.

you could remember yourself in a crouched position, extending your arms to protect yourself as if you were your own superhero. the silence was taunting to say the least.

how did you manage to escape? it was all a blur. all you could feel was a wash of relief when you realized that you had escaped, that you had made it out, that you, only you survived.

those last words sound selfish. and yes, they are. for the following months you were wrecked with guilt that in a world of billions, only you made it out. was this god’s message? was this your fate? to have made it out while children, people, other people who were better than you, that were actual saints die in front of you?

it was hard, to be blunt. you tried to off yourself, to be blunter.

realizing that you were the last one standing, it was not a good feeling. your family, your friends, in a matter of seconds…gone.

for the first few months you had fallen into your desires. your desire to end your life as you were now stuck in a new york, but not yours. you saw familiar faces, and for a second you were foolish enough to believe that you could communicate with them. but you were different.

again, not your new york. yours was vibrant, filled with color. and here, in this new york, well… you’ve seen better days. most days now you’re pent up in a small abandoned building, like many others. life was dull, filled with violence and anger in every corner.

as time went on your grief and guilt turned into anger, in which quickly turned into hatred. and that hatred…you guess it. revenge.

(x)

“miguel, an anomaly in 178.” the word was far too well known to miguel. it was his job either way, to make sure that the arachno-humanoid-poly-multiverse or just “multiverse” in lyla’s words to make things much easier.

it wasn’t an easy job. and he didn’t like to do it. he hated it, in fact. but he gave up too much already. his world and others, at his hands, were gone. the only way he could fix that is if he managed to fix everything else.

he still remembers the screams, the agony that came with his decision. his daughter, disappearing into nothing. it made him angry, it made him feel stupid that he thought he could have it all. but he couldn’t.

and he paid the price for that.

“send jess to retrieve them,” miguel ordered, keeping his eyes away from lyla in which he should’ve given her face of concern. “i don’t have time right now.”

lyla knew what he has seen. given that he made her, that she was his ai, meaning that she knew everything, she knew that she had to be cautions about her next words. “it’s from your dimension,” she said.

her words hit him hard. made him freeze. and miguel? he never froze.

furrowing his brows, he quickly turned to face her. his heartbeat began to beat faster than normal, his eyes clearly coming into a state of panic. “what do you mean my dimension?” he questioned.

lyla gave no response.

frustrated, miguel quickly turned into his watch, putting in the coordinates. and without hesitation, as soon as a portal had opened up, he jumped in.

(x)

you’ve been out of it more than usual. your glitches, they became more rapid and frequent. you knew that your location was to blame, that you weren’t supposed to be here. but honestly, you didn’t care at this point. all you needed right now was you’d satisfaction for spider-man to come out and face you.

they took everything from you. and now, you wouldn’t stop until they suffer like you have.

the plan was simple: lure them and kill them. torture, not so graphic as some may depict it to be but if it comes to that then yes. someone has to suffer for what was left behind because all of your dreams, all of your hopes…it wasn’t there anymore.

but as much as you wanted to see the spider-man suffer, you just wanted to be fix. you wanted to go back home, if that was even possible. for days, weeks, months you have cried yourself to sleep because of the aching loneliness that you felt.

but now, you could fix that. please, you mentally begged. i want to go back home.

without another minute passing, an orange follow came from the corner of your eye. in the pitch dark of the night it was easy to spot, and in the mix of what surrounded you for the last few months, you knew it was him.

before you came a talk figure. neon red and a dark shade of blue covering him. a devilish figure with the way he dressed. smirking, you hide a tranquilizer behind beneath the sleeve of your sweater.

“you’re coming with me.” he demanded. no greeting? no ‘sorry i killed your entire world and ended all life?’

shaking your head, you let out a small chuckle. “take off your mask and show me the said ‘hero’ that destroyed my home.”

he held his position, a threatening one really. but you did the same as you awaited for him to follow your demand.

eventually, the allure of his mask was no longer there. a glistening blue aura lingered across his face to reveal himself. and from this moment you could feel your heart breaking. this wasn’t just a normal man. it was him. him.

miguel o’ hara — your first love.

tears began to weld across your eyes, a frown forming as you began to sob quietly. looking away, you hide your eyes in between your hands as they held fists. you couldn’t even bother to form a word as you couldn’t believe the man behind your pain was the one you fell in love with.

“no. no, no, no,” you whimpered. with each word, miguel couldn’t stop but feel his heart ache in such a way he hasn’t felt in a long time. you weren’t supposed to be here. you weren’t supposed to be alive but somehow, you were. you were here, standing in front of him, the last one from the dimension he caused to shatter.

“how could you do this to me, miguel?” you cried out. “how?!”

he didn’t know what to say. you were as much as filled with guilt as he was. for him, maybe even worse. he didn’t mean for this to happen. but yet, you were standing in front of him, pleading an answer as to why did he do this.

miguel looked down in shame, finding it difficult to look at your eyes. he hated seeing your eyes look at him with such a disgusting look of anger and disappointment. “i just wanted a family. i didn’t mean for it to happen-“

“but you did. you did!”

if his heart wasn’t already broken, now it truly was.

“you- you caused it all to end. you think i wanted this? to live a life in a dumpster? in a place that reminds me that everyone i know, everyone i loved is gone?”

you pushed him with all that you could. “i hate you.” you muttered, thunder clapping above the two of you. with the rest of you strength that you held, you hit his chest continuously, holding your anger against him.

“i hate you!” another hit. “i hate you!” another. “i hate you!” another.

for several times, you repeated the action and the words that followed. all until the very last one. by the time it ended, you were on you knees in front of him, your head down in defeat.

“you don’t know the pain you caused me, miguel,” you whispered.

your sobs continued below him. your cries — haunting. so all he could do next was just the simplest.

he kneeled down, grabbing your hands in his, pulling them up to have your eyes follow them until they reached his and quietly said, “for you i wish i could find a way to get it all back,”

“but it’s impossible.”

your lips pursed together, trying to stop another whimper from you cries release. and in a second, miguel’s hand wiped away your tears. “but let’s try again. okay?”

you smiled. a feeling of relief, slight relief came across your body. and for the first time in a long time, you thought that maybe, just maybe, you might not be alone. because he was here in front of you.

“okay.”

[fleuntet]

A Mistake Made For You

Pairing: Miguel O’ Hara x GN!Reader

Summary: Miguel decides no more losses.

Warnings: none, really. just a bunch of angst <3

A/N: not proofread, sorry pookies. if you find any mistakes just ignore them. i’ll probably edit it later since i decided to quickly write this in the middle of the night bc i cannot get enough of angst w miguem

The wreckage was already coming. Screams were undeniable loud, crashes and clatter were crumbling down behind him. And just as fast as it started, “his” daughter was gone from his arms and now all that was left was nothing but thin air.

Looking down, he knew his mistake was coming following him. For what he thought was a chance to return back to his family, to somehow find peace in his life, he couldn’t have it. This was proof of if. The multiverse was more than capable of taking it all away.

Releasing heavy breaths, as he stayed in place, people rushed and pushed beside him. The only thing left he could think of now that his daughter was gone was you. Somewhere, around all of this chaos you had to be here.

And he had to find you.

Before he would lose you too.

Without a second thought, he rushed back to Queens, knowing shortcuts to get there quicker than he would have time.

He knew he shouldn’t be doing this for the main reason he did this, to find his daughter, to be with her, was just the reason that this world was falling apart. Saving the life of “his” daughter without a father has just about broken this world, leaving it on a thread with life.

So running to you to save you? It just seemed as crazy as the last. But he couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t. He wanted to find solace in something, anything. Even if that meant the world would tear itself apart.

Swinging and swinging, he finally reached within your apartment. Glitches were starting to become more frequent, more visible as the buildings were falling down onto cars. It was awful the noises that surrounded him. Haunting.

Making it to the window of you apartment, he knocked as hard as he could. Within seconds of no response, he broke the window, sending glass scattering all around.

Going through the curtain, he heard your voice, loud and clear. “Stay the hell away!”

He froze to the sight of you. A knife in your right hand, a firm grip of VHS tapes on your left. He knew exactly what those were — voice memos. The ones he would record late at night when he attempted to explain his situation, updates on his own imposter as your friend, as a father and a husband.

He rose his hands, not sure how it would help exactly but he knew you wound possibly feel more calm with him doing that. Miguel shook his head, his eyes desperate for a chance to speak but your eyes, full of tears showed how much you didn’t want to hear his words.

Letting out a small sob, you inhaled deeply before quietly asking, “Why?”

This broke Miguel’s heart.

Seeing his the man you thought you knew, you thought you loved give you no response, you jolted forward, the grip of the knife becoming tighter and more threatening as your knuckles turned white. “Tell me!” you screamed.

He didn’t even dare to look at you anymore. He was defeated. He lost. What the hell was he thinking? Thinking that a damn wrist watch was going to help him get back to the life he wanted? He wanted it all, and knowing the consequences he still went through with it.

He just wanted to have it that badly. He ached for it. The feeling of being alone was not one he wanted. He wanted to feel happy, he wanted to feel free, he wanted-

Miguel’s train of thought was lost with a sudden earthquake occurring below him. Glitches reached your living room, vases and picture frames becoming more colorful than normal.

The two of yours attention on each other was lost for a brief moment. Your face mortified. Fuck.

“Miguel,” you whispered, your eyes back to him, full of hatred now. “What did you do?” He frowned.

“Miguel, mírame y dime que hiciste?!” Your voice cracking, your eyes hurt, you have never felt such anger like this.

He knew what he had to do. He didn’t like the idea of making the same mistake he was doing right now sign you but he knew he had no choice. He already lost too much. He couldn’t bear anymore lost. One more and for sure he would never be the same again.

So he grabbed your wrist, tearing off the gizmo from his wrist and binding it over yours. You tried to break away from his grasp, kicking and screaming, hitting him in the shoulder but he wouldn’t budge.

And before knew it, you were staring at the picture frame hanged on your kitchen wall of you and Miguel, happy faces you two will no longer have. That was the last thing you would look at before you found yourself blacking out.