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Me, neglecting my Ciel blog? More likely than you think.

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Can I move to a different world? I’d like an Utopia where nothing is ever wrong and everyone can be happy and burst out in song.

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Okay but get this, Ciel and Astre 1990's rap duo.

Okay but twin rap rivals tho bc sibling rivalry? Twin freestyle rap battle? Them exposing each other and afterwards just agreeing to never rap against each other bc they know each other too well thus they become a duo?

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“ Life's too short to never let you see who I am, the true queen king of the ice and snow “

fleurreel‌:

“ Let it go ~ Let it gooooo ~ “

“Do you wanna build a snow man???”

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stardustcloaked hat auf deinen Eintrag geantwortet “I love the emotional-wreck-hiding-behind-a-fake-smile big sibling and...”

The Book of Murder side chapter has that down pact. :D AU where Astre is Elsa and Ciel is Anna just based on the side chapter alone. <3

“ Let it go ~ Let it gooooo ~ “

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I love the emotional-wreck-hiding-behind-a-fake-smile big sibling and the softspoken optimistic little sibling dynamic. Or the powerful heir older sibling and the useless spare little sibling. Or just siblings. I mean I can give the Phantomhive Twins so many AUs. Or compare them to other sibling pairs. I mean have you heared the song ‘more than just a spare’ which was from the early draft of Frozen? It really reminds me a little bit of the younger twin (esp my friend’s Astre in our AU). And knowing Elsa and what she’s like I can see Ciel in that role. ... heck... TWIN FROZEN AU?! Oh I’m sorry. Anyways, I love sibling dynamics.

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hanatohoshino‌:

“You don’t have to apologise for your sudden outburst, Ciel. Instead, it should be my own fault for pushing you too deep over the edge when I should have considered your hidden feelings as my soul twin.” Placing an hand onto the bruised cheek where he had been struck angrily by Ciel’s hand, Astre spoke back to his brother in an calm and collected tone even though the sheer action shook him to the core. He never had expected for Ciel to lash out so violently in their entire childhood leading up to adulthood, but at the same time he didn’t blame Ciel for it also.

Even if he hasn’t vocalized his concerns about the dark circles that came from the late night and silent investigations Ciel indulged in behind closed doors like their father, Astre often would do his best to help out during those hours; including bringing some tea or other documents that would be useful. When it had been the first night upon having Ciel hear of the kidnapping and the details from Astre, it had been him who consoled his twin brother despite him wanting to be left alone. They both had felt deep guilt and immense anger throughtout the entire evening, but it seemed to Astre that Ciel was quick to slip back on his false mask and hide the quiet anguish of failing Hana; even though Ciel was not to blame for being away at the time.

“Please try and get some rest for the rest of the evening, my dear brother. If you need it, I will have Tanaka bring you some Jasmine Tea to help calm your stress levels and high anxiety. You will bring Hana back home safe and sound, and her warm personality will lighten up the Manor once more.” Speaking softly as if it was to himself in order to hold onto some tiny aspect of hope, Astre glanced back over at the blooming Orchid which was still on the nightstand.

“ Astre... “ He didn’t have to apologize? What a terrible suggestion, it pierced through his heart. He’d rather have... his brother react in any other way than understanding! Forgiving! Why couldn’t he be just upset, after Ciel... hit him! 

The older twin’s fingers around the doorhandle trembled, and he stood there for a moment not facing Astre. Just listening to his words full of care. It was almost sickening what a good person his brother was. How different they were. Ah -- Ciel really liked surrounding himself with these caring sweet individuals, didn’t he? Because his brother was one of them. Always there for him. An emotional support. And he just now treated him terribly.

Eventually, he closed the door without leaving the room. Hand letting go of the handle, he turned around. No words left him as he slowly walked to his brother, and just hugged him. The action, the tremble in his shoudlers, it said more than words could. He was upset about himself, he did not want to lash out like that, and he is... simply emotionally exhausted. But he’d show this weak state only to Astre. This vulnerability.

“ I’m... so sorry Astre... “ He whispered, clinging onto his brother. “ I just... I really did not mean to... You know I love you, right Astre? I’d never hit you! I... you just... “ No he won’t justify it. He wanted to apologize. He got irritated and acted in anger, he let out emotions he was supposed to keep under lock and key. “ Please don’t tell me that I shouldn’t apologize... don’t take it like I am in the right... get upset with me for treating you like this... anything... “ He just felt bad. About hitting Astre. About himself. About his inability to work day and night and yet not having brought back Hana. “ I’m scared for Hana... I screwed up and didn’t keep her safe... and now she’s not around and I just... “ 

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Ciel is extremly immature with emotions, no matter his age. He had learned early on to act, his teen years he never really acted out and presented himself to be flawless, thus never learned to deal in any healthy way with things as anger or sadness. He’d let everything eat at him from the inside, eventually lash out if irritated. 

The person that irritates him the most is his brother, partly because of envy as well as his attachment to Astre. Thus his brother might be the only one ever experiancing Ciel acting out, especially when Astre says anything against Ciel or his odd behaviour.

Ciel also has violent tendencies. As adult he has a very sadistic side to him. When filling the role of the watchdog, if he has to get rid of someone his frustrations might be taken out on that person in particular.

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At first while his brother spoke, Ciel simply looked away and did not respond to Astre’s words. Not a word mentioned, not any complaint. He knew fairly well that he was doing and behaving. Maybe a flower that still blooms could bring hope.. but Ciel could not hold onto something like that. Hold onto that kind of hope. After all... what was he supposed to be hoping for? 

He just wanted to have Hana back, he wanted her to be safe and sound, he wanted her to enjoy life -- a big part of him however thought that safety is not around him, even if he selfishly wanted her to stay by his side. And her kidnapping... it only made him feel like he was one of the reasons she isn’t around anymore. That she became so widely known as the infamous girl that seduced the young heir. That he wanted to keep her safe but couldn’t. He felt guilty. For not being good enough.

Hana was such a selfless girl, a caring soul that brought out the best in the young heir. And with her gone he felt trapped in this darkness. At first when he hear about it he had broken down in the evening as he was alone, anger and sadness had gotten the best of him. For a moment. The act he put on afterwards... he didn’t mean to act like she never existed. Didn’t mean to give off that impression.

His hands were clenched into fists while he listened to his brother. Though as Astre mentioned the New Years Eve, as he adressed the engagement in a tone as if it was a mistake... It was as his self control snapped, the back of his hand moved to strike across Astre’s cheek. The deep blue eyes filled with anger. Glassy, as tears had formed. And also.. shock. Shocked that he just now hit his own brother. But... how dare Astre speak like this? He was his brother! Astre knew more than anyone how much he loved Hana!

“ I am afraid of opening up because I’m not good with feelings! I’ve always ruined everything, not like you! Oh look at you Astre, being so compassionate and understanding, and yet can’t even read someone who has the same face! “

To hear that he had not been doing anything was just frustrating and irritating. Indeed he was working hard to become the perfect heir to the Earldom, but the dark circles under his eyes came from investigations beyond that. He was the future Watchdog of the queen, he worked on other things in another world beyond the nobility. Ciel in no way had been ignoring Hanas disappearance. He simply looked into that when noone was aknowledging it, prefering to do things alone.

Ciel moved away, approached the door of their room as if to leave it. He was clearly not able to deal with anything in this emotional state. He’d just... make things worse between Astre and him. And that was the last thing he wanted. To drive his brother away from him.

“ I am sorry for this outburst... “ Ciel’s voice was lightly trembling, yet regained composture. ” I’ll be in the study for now, and stay the night in one of the guestrooms. I’d rather not talk to you if you wish to continue adding to my guilt. “ 

A light and defeated sigh escaped Astre’s lips as he placed the flower pot down onto the nightstand table near their two beds, and then lightly flicked his fingers against Ciel’s forehead without a second thought or warning before speaking. 

“This whole act or facade that you are putting up is getting annoying to a degree, Ciel. You are becoming completely emotionless and throwing yourself more and more into your future earldom instead of giving yourself some time to try and look for Hana. It is almost like you have buried any memories or physical reminders that she was even in your life. I have literally kept any remembrance items away from your sight; because I want to believe that she is still alive. This is not the same older brother I looked up to anymore.” 

Astre hated to be so blunt about Ciel’s recent behaviors leading over the past few weeks, but he felt as if he had to be the one who was looking further and further into Hana’s disappearance; along with more of those brutal attacks against the high nobility families who were rapidly increasing. He also had been more harshly outspoken when it came to his Aunt Francis and Aunt Angelina, even leading to his parents trying to understand where Astre was coming from. 

“The kidnapper hasn’t sent any personal items that belongs to Hana through the mail, and everyone is acting like she is completely dead; like she didn’t even deserve to exist in this world! I am fighting alone with Tsuyoshi to keep her name circulating, and you don’t want anything, not even this Orchid, to give you just the smallest hint of hope; so don’t you dare tell me not to read too much into this. If I had known this was going to be her future with you, then I would have stole Hana’s hand from you that New Year’s evening and ran away from here! Stop being so damn afraid of opening up yourself, Ciel! Maybe you shouldn’t even be engaged to anyone in your whole life!”

@fleurreel; continuing from here: X

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"Ciel, there is an orchid plant that is growing in the Sun Room, but somehow it still remains beautifully blooming even if nobody has watered it since Hana's disappearance." Astre spoke as he brought the flower pot that contained the forementioned orchid flower.

“ And you’re mentioning that because... ? “ A lightly confused expression spread on the older twin’s face. He didn’t exactly know enough about flowers nor put enough thought into them for this to make any difference or sense to him. The only reason he ever liked flowers was Hana. Ever since her disappeariance, flowers and nature became meaningless. Unimportant. Unbearable at times. “ Maybe a servant kept watering it without thinking about it. Don’t read too much into it. “ Ciel maybe was too quick to dismiss something like this. To him it was more weird that his brother would bring that up to him.

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“ An afternoon walk should ... -- ? “ 

His voice was rather harsh, though Ciel stopped himself mid sentence before snapping at his brother for suggesting that something that simple would in any way help him. Astre had a point. He was stressed. Very much so as his hands were practically tied at this point when it came to Hana.

“ Sure... a walk...  sounds great. “ 

He wasn’t trying to sound in any way sarcastic, even if his tone suggested it so. Just... most things nowadays make him irritated because he was powerless. Someone who used his whole life his fathers reputation and power to assert dominance and win every time was right now in a situation where nothing he had was of use. He realized that he really is not capable of protecting anyone, even if he promised Hana. He promised himself that he would keep her safe. 

What only his own family knew was that Ciel indeed blamed himself (he did not show it as part of his nature, he kept the appeariance of a flawless proud young man, but reality of course was more complicated) for not being able to be in control and protect Hana properly, especially from her past he had tried to rescue her from.

“The flowers are in perfect bloom through the Sun Room and along the Garden path, Ciel. Perhaps an afternoon walk would help clear your mind of everything that has been popping up recently, and also to help ease your stressful soul regarding your search for Lady Hana. Shall we be on our way?”

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Just here to casually remind you while this blog is kind of inactive (but you’re welcomed to send in stuff to Ciel) I’m keeping my canon blog rather active where i rp such gems as the asshole who’s plotting to kill his brother, the cutie who can and will stab, the one girl u dont want to spend any 1 on 1 time with, yo fave brat from the nonexistant season 2, and everyones favourite tailor.

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                                      ANGST sentence starters

❛ you don’t even love her. ❜

❛ don’t say you love him. ❜

❛ i’m not a monster. ❜

❛ how many times to i have to say it until you understand? ❜

❛ i would have done anything for you. ❜

❛ you were everything. ❜

❛ i don’t ever want to see you again. ❜

❛ it’s not my baby? ❜

❛ you knew this whole time? ❜

❛ this is goodbye… isn’t it? ❜

❛ don’t push me away. ❜

❛ i need you, please. ❜

❛ you never meant anything to me. ❜

❛ i lied. ❜

❛ i’m not in love with you. ❜

❛ i killed him. ❜

❛ ___ , is not your baby. ❜

❛ you were the only one i loved. ❜

❛ how am i supposed to trust you again? ❜

❛ you fucking betrayed me! ❜

❛ you should leave. ❜

❛ you’ve been lying this whole time. ❜

❛ for once, i wish you’d choose me? ❜

❛ please, don’t go. ❜

❛ i promise, it meant nothing. ❜

❛ it was just sex. ❜

❛ you’re throwing everything we have. ❜

❛ this was all a fucking game to you. ❜

❛ you were never the one i thought you were. ❜

❛ whose idea was it to let anyone believe love could ever have a happy ending? ❜

❛ i can’t—knowing you touched him the same way. ❜

❛ i’m so fucking tired of being lied to. ❜

❛ are we gonna talk about last night? ❜

❛ i should never have said i loved you. ❜

❛ you left without a word. ❜

❛ how am i supposed to forgive someone like you? ❜

❛ i should never have kissed you. ❜

❛ is it too much to say, i miss you. ❜

❛ you can keep the shirt. ❜

❛ i’m going to kill you, so you better run far away. ❜

❛ you won’t last long. ❜

❛ you never even gave me a chance. ❜

❛ you stole everything from me! ❜

❛ all i wanted was for you to love me! ❜

❛ it was too much to ask of you. ❜

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Well, I’m back in Musical hell for this night... And back at the count of Monte Cristo. And... this song just made me think of Ciel conspiring how to put his brother into jail. Also, Hell to your Doorstep still makes me think of our boys. While it’s stronger for Astre, I think they both are vengeful little shits.

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hanatohoshino‌:

“Viscount Aleistor, or Viscount Druitt as he often likes to go by, certainly has an unique flair for the beauty in everything, and it wouldn’t be a far-fetched guess that women had caught his eyes; especially Hana since she is from Japan. I also recalled that he too has a medical license like Aunt Angelina, but doesn’t work in the actual field or of the sorts.”

Astre too remembered how Ciel’s behaviour at the event was painful for him to watch; knowing full well that he played an role in keeping his brother in the dark and how heartbroken Ciel had been over the whole ordeal. That was why he didn’t resist swapping roles for that one evening, and neither did their parents. Astre also used that moment to gather intel from the various guests to see if there were any new clues among the nobles, and after seeing the Viscount chattering about his usual tirades; it was pretty clear to the young twin that the pieces had come together in his mind. “I don’t think; rather I know that Hana is being held hostage by Aleistor. His name being written countless times in that book clarifies my beliefs, and no doubt that he would be the one who took such measures to ensure that she never left his sight. He probably even used bribery to throw the police off his trail; which explains why they are pretending that they can’t find any clues.”

As he stood up from the chair in front of the desk, Astre placed his hands down as if to slam them onto the surface. “If that is the grand picture of this entire ordeal, then it is up to us to bring Hana back ourselves and to give her father a peaceful resolve to his mind. He is just as much a victim of this egotistical person’s sick and vainful desires, so we need to set him at ease. What do you say, brother of mine?”

“ If that is the case then we indeed need to do something. Scotland Yard is of no help here, especially since they have a particular dislike for our family. “ Mostly because of their duty as Watchdog of the Queen. More than once did that leave bitter tastes in the detectives mouths. He knows from watching how they talk with his father and ignored him completely. 

Ciel sank into thinking, his eyes looking down at the floor. His mind already working on a plan. His brother was right after all, it was up to them. “ We need to somehow get close to him... “ Head on confrontation would be a bad idea, he could run and hide Hana out of their reach. “ Since its known that Hana is my fiancee it would be hard to get anywhere close to her without alerting him... After all the Viscount wouldn’t be dumb enough to present her to us... “ 

Maybe... if it wasn’t them?

He looked up at his twin, seemingly with an idea. He knows that that Viscount was well known for attending and hosting big events. If they could get their hands on an invitation... or even just find out the next event the Viscount hosts... “ I think we will have to crash a party my dearest brother. “ 

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hanatohoshino‌:

“Sadly, I did take a quick peek at the contents when I was at the townhouse, and guessing from your hesitation, I do not blame you for not wanting to read what Setsuko wrote in here; it is not for the best…” Putting the notebook back into his pocket as if to ease Ciel’s mind and also to keep his spark of hope alive, Astre took a deep breath before placing an hand atop his brother’s shoulder. “There was one certain name which kept showing up after each entry that had a insignia on it. My guess is that the person who was written in this notebook is most likely the kidnapper; someone who couldn’t resist allowing Hana to be out of their grasp.”

If he was right in assuming what his mind was thinking, then Astre also would be correct by piecing together Ciel’s words and the recent charity gala that was held at the Manor a few weeks back; his deep saphire blue eyes widening at the realization that hit his mind. All of the guests that were in attendance at the party were in Spring-themed masks; therefore not a single person could have been noticed underneath! Perhaps that might be the answer to unlocking this case and bringing Hana home.

“Do you remember that gala that Mother and Father held about two weeks ago, Ciel? There was this particular guest which really stood out to me; mannerisms and all of the comments about an beautiful dancer which caught his eye, along with his young guest who remained quiet the entire evening. I believe that there is a high chance those were Hana and her kidnapper within plain sight! Using the masquerade masks we provided to keep their facials a secret. And if I am correct in pinpointing who the person was; it has to be an viscount noble who would be below an Earl like Father. Would we know of any person who has an keen eye for anything beauty?”

Ciel lightly whinced at the mention of the event. To him it had been an utter desaster as he had been rather reclusive. People even mistook him for his twin occasionally as that kind of behaviour was rather odd for him -- the kidnapping was rather fresh back then and noone really blamed him to have not sought out conversation as most nobles were used to from him. Thus, he barely even had paid attention to the guests. 

But the one Astre was describing... well, it was hard to not notice such a guest. 

“ You mean Viscount Aleistor Chamber? “ Sure, he wore a mask... but those mannerisms... Ciel had been already aquainted with the Viscount. Weston College events certainly were quite a way to meet new people. He has never spoken to him however. Only... noticed that rather flashy behaviour. “ And you think... “ 

Well... if that name was on the list of clients... It would make sense why the Police chose to ignore that. They had barely any power over aristocrats. That was more of a... matter that has to be resolved between nobles.