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[flightfoot]

I was just wondering if this fic rang a bell, (if it doesn't feel free to ignore this ask) because I can't find it and I swore I read it before and I only remember one scene.

It's a soulmate au fic, I don't remember what marks people as soulmates in this au though. But it's where Adrien is a sentimonster (and Kagami), and on the day his mark is supposed to appear his dad tells him about the whole sentimonster thing and because of that he won't have a soulmate but hey it's the same for Kagami so she's basically his soulmate.

It was an Adrienette fic though and Adrien does end up getting the soulmate mark/sign. And that's all that I remember.

Sorry, I can't find it, and I don't recall any soulmates fic where Gabriel told Adrien he and Kagami are soulmates.

Maybe someone else has an idea?

[flightfoot]

Just checked the special, it’s not a plot hole. Marinette has the grimoire page in her diary. Marinette-2 takes it and there’s a direct translation on the back. You see it before she flips the paper over and she reads directly off it.

If anything the plot hole is what would Gabriel have done if he won before Miracle Queen? Like okay I defeated Ladybug and Cat Noir and have their miraculous. How do I make the wish I can’t read this book?

I mean we saw what he'd do if he'd gotten the kwamis too early, he wouldn't have known how to summon Gimmi. I mean, he DID get both Plagg and Tikki during the middle of season 5.

[flightfoot]

I just hope it takes place later in Season 5 than that one never ending night

Oh god I don't even know how this Special could possibly be packed into That One Night, they ALREADY didn't get any sleep!

Yeah I'm hoping this takes place during the finale, maybe helps explain what happened with Adrien and Kagami in those sensory deprivation rooms (we never saw when and how they were freed), and maybe explain why Felix was a nonentity throughout it.

[flightfoot]

Just adopted...

[flightfoot]

Old draw! :D

[flightfoot]

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

[flightfoot]

The Paris Special isn't set between seasons 5 and 6? It's set within season 5, right after Destruction and during part of Multiplication.

Huh, guessing this is for season 6? Looks legit.

Honestly Marinette being Ladybug is known by quite a few people at this point, between Luka, Alix, Alya, Felix, and Kagami. I'm gonna be disappointed if she doesn't at least SUSPECT Felix of having taken it.

[flightfoot]

love this little dude. hope he gets to be happy at some point

[flightfoot]

london special please have félix in it! london special please have félix in it! london special please have félix in it! london special please

[flightfoot]

I cannot express how jarring it was after being raised by a "Porn Addiction Coach" to get into a relationship with a woman and come face to face with the fact that she did actually want me to sexually desire her.

Like, in Evangelical Purity Culture, male desire was basically poison. It was a threat. It was this constant temptation that would destroy everything. And even after leaving, in the sort of queer, feminist spaces i spend most of my time in that wasn't something that pretty much anyone was spending time actively dissuading me from feeling.

But my desire is good. It's not something that I'm being accepted in spite of. It's a positive thing. It's a bonus. Not even just vanilla stuff, all the stuff I'd convinced myself were these weird terrible desires that were shameful to have.

It honestly took me over a decade to fully accept that. To stop dissociating during sex and confront that I was, in fact, being a massive perv and that was fantastic and preferable and that I could accept that into my self-image without shame or self hatred.

But it's important to do. It's important to leave relationships that don't welcome that part of you. To know that your sexuality is valuable and valid and worth owning and celebrating. Because the alternative is just...not being. Either existing as yourself and repressing the part of your identity that is sexual or allowing that sexuality to exist but turning off your self while it does.

[flightfoot]

So if Marinette believes the wish is too dangerous to use, why does she write down how to use it? Like if Monarch has the book translation I get that, but why would Marinette keep it? Or was it so that we can get the cool scene with Marinette-2 trying to use the wish?

Thing is, I don't think she did? Like she just wrote down that the Wish was a thing, not how, exactly, to enact it. I think the alternate Marinette knowing how to do that is a plothole.

[flightfoot]

DURING season 5? Huh. I'm guessing it might be a "travelled to an alternate future to fix it" thing, like with Chat Blanc.

Huh, guessing this is for season 6? Looks legit.

Honestly Marinette being Ladybug is known by quite a few people at this point, between Luka, Alix, Alya, Felix, and Kagami. I'm gonna be disappointed if she doesn't at least SUSPECT Felix of having taken it.

[flightfoot]

So I’m on a trip with my robotics team and there’s only two “girls” (me, an enby, and a cis girl), so we get our own beds in our own room, but the guys are rooming four to a room, but there’s only two beds in each room. Which means that two guys are sleeping on the floor every night.

I’m not joking. They were literally arguing over who’s sleeping on the floor tonight (apparently they plan on rotating).

And I asked them “why don’t you just share a bed?” And they all gave me the same answer:

“No, that’s weird! That’d be gay!”

And I just looked at them and I decided to break the bad news to them

“If lying next to another guy makes you wanna suck dick, you already wanted to suck dick.”

I’ve never seen so many Straight Guys™️ enraged by a single sentence before

[flightfoot]

Various audio snippets of my childhood that I've collected.

[flightfoot]

AAAAAAAAAH I LOVE MIRACULOUS LADYBUG

[flightfoot]

Ah, it's that wonderful time of year when my NextDoor is filled with people taking pictures of tiny snakes (garters and rat snake babies and rough ground snakes and all kinds of little guys) and panicking about whether they are "poisonous" (you mean venemous. I promise)

So, uh, please learn what venemous snakes in your area look like.

FYI, Texas only has 4. (OK, we actually have a few varieties of rattlesnake, but I'm grouping them together since you can identify them all as a rattlesnake the same way.)

Of the 4, only cottonmouths (bottom left) are really difficult to ID at a distance since they look a lot like other water snakes.

Some fun facts to also remember-

1. The majority of snake bites happen while the person is intoxicated.

2. The majority of bites happen on the hand or lower arm.

Can you guess what the easiest way to avoid getting bitten is?

If you are someone who regularly works in heavily wooded areas or dense brush, you can take precautions with snake proof gloves, but for the rest of us, basic situational awareness and a willingness to just leave a snake alone is going to prevent 99% of your problems.

Snakes do not want to bite you. You are not food. And that venom is expensive. A snake knows that in a fight, the big angry mammal will *always* win. Sure, an untreated snake bite might kill you tomorrow. But that won't stop you from stomping the snake to death with your boots today if you tried. You are big. They are scared.

Thank you!

[flightfoot]

The wish