florasongs

[florasongs]

my friends and i do an annual camping trip to freedive and spearfish on one of the outer islands like Tl’x’óy7ten or Lhéwqemeng, but last year we decided on a smaller island where we don't usually stay overnight. I was the only one with Friday off and it was going to storm Saturday so I went out a day before everyone else to set up camp before the rain hit. that night i was the only person on the entire island, along with my dog. we slept in a hammock in the woods by the sea, and everyone else joined me in the morning.

that second night, we hiked the entire island, and found we were still the only ones there at all. not unusual because of the weather.

well on the second morning, I got up and saw raccoons had gotten into Little Bird's dog food and all of my snacks. I assumed raccoons, anyway. I was bummed and confused because I kept all of the food in bear/raccoon proof containers that had never failed.

my friend, a fun but very no-nonsense outdoorsman, said "are you sure you didn't leave it unlatched last night?" I said, "I didn't get into it last night." He said, "Late last night. You did." I was confused, and he told me that he woke up to pee at 2 AM, at which time he saw me, sitting at the camp table, eating something. I said, "That wasn't me," and he said it was dark so he'd actually only seen a silhouette that he assumed was me because it couldn't have been our other friend, who was asleep beside him in his tent. It was also too dark to see that I was still in my hammock, with Little Bird.

At this point I became visibly alarmed because not only was I not awake and eating in the middle of the night, but my hammock was hung directly above the table, so anyone sitting there would be just a few inches below me while I slept.

What also bothered me was that I trained Little Bird specifically for solo backcountry work and that includes alerting to approaching wildlife so I'm not caught off-guard by bears in camp. I'm a feather-light sleeper as it is, but I sleep better knowing she'll hear something before I do. But she didn't alert to whatever got into our food, just inches below us.

We decided to let it go, because what was there to do or say? But that night I couldn't sleep until I moved my hammock to another spot. Sometimes I think about this and I'm just like well, what the hell

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whats everyones first video game (criteria can be whatever you want but im going for the first game i remember playing as a kid) mine's harvest moon friends of mineral town

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Choose a different profession or group to receive a standard discount instead of the military — you only get one

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Shout out to that guy from Florida talking to my coworker about wanting to take his sail boat through Lake Superior in November. He was planning on a little trip and my coworker was like hey man I don't know how to tell you this but you will Actually Die

*Lake Superior, in the far distance*: yes yes yes yes yes do it yes yes

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just saw a birth announcement thing that was like "3 inches went in. 19 inches came out" and i am on the floor in tears i'm laughing so hard what is wrong with heterosexual people

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Another excellent discipline is the Extreme Mustang Makeover: Freestyle where you get a completely feral horse and have 6 months to get it in shape, gentle it, and choreograph a performance with it:

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me when I talk to people who were born in 2005

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hell yesssss thank youuuuu for the reminder micheal my man gonna splurge with this one boys I totally forgot about my cent #mycent

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New medieval peasant cultural exchange post. Medieval peasant shows you the real night sky and you light on fire and explode.

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fresh asf like a million dollars justfine and dandy

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A little opabinia mermaid for MerMay! She has five eyes and zero brains.

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illegal immigration is swag and epic and i salute everyone who does it. personally i think if you can afford to move somewhere you should be allowed to live there no questions asked. actually even if you cant afford it, it's not like i can afford to live here either. who give a shit.

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one if my favorite gifs right now the blankest eyes ive ever seen the lights are on but no ones home. and the other thing like grooming its snout but i don't think its even aware of what its doing. i dont think either of them know anything or know that theyre alive