florenceathanas

[florenceathanas]

rrivcr​:

.

florence was one of the last people she’d expect to see down by the creek but once she saw what he was doing, the bag of trash he was clearly collecting, it made more sense. “wouldn’t have taken you for a shrooms kind of guy.” river admitted. “want some?” she offered, raising her joint in his direction. it wasn’t really like river to offer someone else the limited amount she had but there was something about him that made her want to. 

“a dozen small crimes…so they can fuck over a dozen or so people instead of just one.” she scoffed with a smirk and a signature roll of her eyes, “looks better for the cop, doesn’t it?” especially when they just go by the number of arrests. “making life harder for the rest of us instead of finding all those missing people and figuring out who the murderer is among us.” the whole thing was so frustrating. but, of course, since the perpetrator was most likely someone who practically owned the city, there was no way anyone would ever get caught. plus, the incompetence of the police only made someone getting caught even less likely, so all they had were the petty criminals by the creek. “they’re probably watching us all right now, waiting for someone to do something so they can swoop in and make it look like they’re actually doing their job.”

. . . .

“ well, i don’t do them much, ” he chuckled, “ but they’re one of the two that... if it’s offered, i’ll go for it. ” most assumptions about florence’s relationship with drugs would almost always be considered correct – the ‘unnatural’ ones he had tried in the past ? oh, never again. then again... were there many people who’d assume he’d tried any ‘unnatural’ drugs ? “ thanks, ” he nodded, taking the joint.

“ gotta get those arrest numbers up and all. ” after taking a few puffs, he handing the joint back in her direction. “ just gotta meet their quota, then they’re all good to go, ” he replied, tone almost matching hers – almost. “ not to, uh... be bitter, or anything, but just plain old residents have already figured out more about the big stuff than they have. they just gotta do it all for show at this point. ” now, had that been bitter ? yeah, probably. but he wasn’t quite sure who didn’t harbor even a single bitter feeling towards the vertmoor police anymore. they hadn’t done much for them... at all. looking to the nearest tree, he pointed to the top branch and commented, “ there’s probably a camera watching us up there. ”

[florenceathanas]

rrivcr​:

Whether or not she wanted to, River couldn’t keep herself separated from whatever was happening at the house. Yes, she had been living in Vertmoor for the majority of her life but that didn’t mean she could pretend things were normal. She had heard about Neek’s place burning down, which sucked ( all things considered ) but she hadn’t been there the night they’d broken into the foundation so she didn’t know the full extent of what that meant. It seemed like things were returning to a relative calm, as far as the place was ever calm, and unfortunately that meant no more distractions - so she had to find one.

Leaning against the rock wall that looked over the creek, she took a deep inhale of the spliff between her fingers before spotting someone. She didn’t care if they saw her getting high, what was she hiding after all? What did they all have to hide anymore. “If you’re looking for Mitchie, he ain’t here. No offense or anything but with the police hanging around I don’t think you’re going to get much, seems like a waste of time.” River mused, only speaking from experience.

. . . .

florence was no stranger to the creek. of all the locations in vertmoor, it was possibly the one that brought the most sorrow to his soul. vertmoor didn’t offer much natural life – the creek was one of its few completely natural areas, but it had been turned into a dumping ground. those who commonly found themselves there discarded their paraphernalia on its grass and those who commonly found themselves there had so often been discarded by a care they needed. the nature there was sad. the people there were sad. 

but he could only do so much for the people. its foliage, on the other hand ? its life ? ever so careful where he stepped, he’d returned for another round of removing the litter. he wasn’t alone – it was unspoken, but you were never alone at the creek. nonetheless, he still wasn’t expecting to be addressed, much less by river. solemn expression wiped off and replaced by an almost amused smile, he replied, “ oh – no, no. i can’t really get through anything past, uh, marijuana or shrooms. ” and he had tried once ! but he hated it ! “ it... makes sense. i guess they think a dozen small crimes makes up for a murder or two. ”

[florenceathanas]

in my field of grass.

summertime –– billie holiday ( cover ).

“ one of these mornings, you’re gonna rise up singing. then you’ll spread your wings and take to the sky. ”

eskimo blue day –– jefferson airplane.

“ consider how small you are. compared to your scream, the human dream doesn’t mean shit to a tree. ”

license to kill –– bob dylan.

“ man thinks because he rules the earth, he can do with it as he please and if things don’t change soon, he will. man has invented his doom – first step was touching the moon. ”

the gunner’s dream –– pink floyd.

“ as the teardrops rise to meet the comfort of the band, you take her frail hand and hold on to the dream: a place to stay, enough to eat, somewhere old heroes shuffle safely down the street where you can speak out loud about your doubts and fears. and what’s more ? no one ever disappears, you never hear their standard issue kick in the door. you can relax on both sides of the tracks and maniacs don’t blow holes in bandsmen by remote controls. and everyone has recourse to the law. and no one kills the children anymore. ”

wooden ships –– jefferson airplane.

“ if you smile at me, you know i will understand because that is something everybody everywhere does in the same language ... go and take a sister by her hand, lead her far from this foreign land – somewhere where we might laugh again. we are leaving, you don’t need us. ”

the weight –– the band.

“ take a load off, fanny – take a load for free. take a load off fanny and you put the load right on me. ”

mother nature’s son –– the beatles.

“ sit beside a mountain stream, see her waters rise. listen to the pretty sound of music as she flies. find me in my field of grass, mother nature’s son. swaying daisies sing a lazy song beneath the sun. ”

strangers –– the kinks.

“ so we will share this road we walk and mind our mouths and beware our talk. ‘til peace we find, tell you what i’ll do: all the things i own, i will share with you. and if i feel tomorrow like i feel today, we will take what we want and give the rest away. strangers on this road we are on, but we are not two, we are one. ”

gypsy –– fleetwood mac.

“ to the [] that remains and faces freedom with little fear. i have no fear – i have only love. and if i was a child, and the child was enough – enough for me to love, enough to love. ”

all along the watchtower –– bob dylan ( possibly ft. vidal ).

“ ‘there must be some way out of here’ said the joker to the thief. ‘there’s too much confusion, i can’t get no relief. businessmen, they drink my wine. plowmen dig my earth. none of them along the line know what any of it is worth.’ ”

house of the rising sun –– the animals ( ft. literally every adopted athanas child ).

“ there is a house in new orleans they call ‘the rising sun.’ it’s been the ruin of many a poor boy, and god, i know i’m one. ”

the rape of the world –– tracy chapman.

“ mother of us all, place of our birth, how can we watch the rape of the world ? this - the beginning of the end. this - the most heinous of crimes. this - the most deadliest of sins. the greatest violation of all time. ”

nights in white satin –– the moody blues.

“ cold-hearted orb that rules the night, removes the colors from our sight – red is grey and yellow white. but we decide which is right and which is an illusion. ”

[florenceathanas]

emilioathanas​:

sullivanmock​:

clearliquors:

BOLD what applies to your muse.

PLACE IN SOCIETY

financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty.

medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged.

education: qualified / unqualified / studying.

criminal record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no.

FAMILY

married - happily / married - unhappily / engaged or betrothed / partnered / single / divorced / separated.

has a child or children / has no children / wants children.  

close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased.

TRAITS + TENDENCIES

extroverted / introverted / in between.

disorganized / organized / in between.

close minded / open-minded  / in between.

calm / anxious / in between.

disagreeable / agreeable / in between.

cautious / reckless / in between.

patient / impatient / in between.

outspoken / reserved / in between.

leader / follower / in between.

empathetic / unemphatic / in between.

SEXUALITY + ROMANTIC INCLINATION

heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual.

sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favourable.

romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favourable.

sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious.

potential sexual partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all.

potential romantic partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all.

ABILITIES

combat skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none.

literacy skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

artistic skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

technical skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none.

HABITS

drinking alcohol: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

smoking: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. 

other narcotics: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

medicinal drugs: never / sometimes  / frequently / to excess. 

indulgent food: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. 

splurge spending: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

gambling: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess.

[florenceathanas]

erebusathanas​:

erebus had a lollipop on his mouth while he perused the rooms around the athanas household. everyone was suspicious until he could actually find out who had killed father. emilio might of told him to find himself, and stop trying to be something he wasn’t, but he couldn’t do that until he could enact some sort of revenge. he could blame himself for a lot of what he’d become, but his father had been the catalyst that began it all. that, he could not forget, but worst of all he could not forgive. being able to control this singular aspect of his life could free him, and that was something he’d be willing to risk anything for.

stepping into what had once been his room brought back many memories, most of them unpleasant were it not for one singular person. love, he knew, was something that he hadn’t grasped quite well. obsession. want. need. those were all things he understood, and still what he felt for him was so special that he still couldn’t understand it that well. florence had become his all, and more. was it love? “is it love?” he asked out loud. @florenceathanas​

. . . .

florence couldn’t decide whether he was or was not still floored by all of the recent news. on one hand, belva having the capability to kill their ‘Father’ – how unlikely it seemed ! but on the other... july, the younger man florence had so believed in, was now seldom featured in the papers. there was always something. and that made the pull of simplicity, of the good life he’d known before it all began, so much more tempting. he could so easily leave, pack up the few things he’d taken with him and return to his shed. 

but he couldn’t. no, not now. those he loved were in such peril. he couldn’t leave them. but he could bring more brightness, the job he had unconsciously assigned himself as a boy. the room that was clouded with dust, a fog of it so thick that he could hardly breathe, deserved the mini zen garden he’d come across while downtown. a labyrinth. as he stepped foot in the doorway, however, a familiar voice rang through. one he couldn’t ignore. still, he tilted his head to the side, the question seeming to be more of a riddle with its lack of context. “ i guess it, uh, depends on your definition, ” he replied, still uncertain of the context, but finding that response to be far more progressive – far better at moving the conversation – than the question of what the context was.

[florenceathanas]

DOLLHOUSE & TEXT POSTS (02/??)

@sumixam @irma-athanas @gracielathanas @florenceathanas @letitallflo @estcllle @erebusathanas

[florenceathanas]

theunhallowedangel​:

it was in true angel fashion that he’d dipped under the radar for a while, not keeping up with much of the events of the dollhouse, the house on the hill, figuring it better for his quiet life and his own stitched together sanity to remain in ignorance for a while. he’d learned over the years how to become but a whisper in the wind, almost a ghost. he stopped frequenting favourite coffee shops, left those in vertmoor he knew with no contact from him, and found himself a place to settle down in for the time being because his stay in vertmoor had extended past the temperance he’d expected. his existence had been quiet, and he’d managed to avoid those he knew for just over a month, but it was when he was out on the streets, headed to get groceries that the inevitable happened, catching the eye of someone he knew. he wouldn’t act out of character and so his signature grin was spreading to his lips as if he were happy to see them, as if his absence had been accidental and not calculated. ❝ long time no see, ❞ he tells them with ease, welcoming and warm as to be expected from him, ❝ i was just going to get something to eat, join me? ❞  the lie rolls off his tongue with ease, figuring if he’s stuck in this situation, he might as well get himself some information on the ongoings since he’d gone quiet.

. . . .

florence wasn’t very well-acquainted with angel. but, then again, florence wasn’t very well-acquainted with plenty of the folks who’d wound up making the house upon the hill their makeshift home. it was lovely, how welcomed these mere strangers felt, yet there was a slightly humorous side to it. so many of his siblings had worked so hard to leave, had looked so forward to the day they could. he and most of his siblings came back out of a sense of obligation. everyone’s friends came to the house that seemed so uninviting to him as if they were moths to a flame. lovely. funny. either case would find him smiling as angel spoke to him, happy to see the man so... seemingly relaxed. something felt somewhat off – it bore a similarity to the feeling florence received around erebus – but he’d only spent so much time with the other. “ yeah – yeah, sure, ” he nodded. “ nice to see you again. ”

[florenceathanas]

Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Carry Me Like Water

[ID: We divide time into years. We divide years into seasons. We have different names for every river, a different name for every ocean on the earth. But the river does not know that we have named it “river”—it does not know that it is separate from the waters that call “Come.” Come. The river has flowed a thousand years. It is spring, and the river is spilling with the newness of winter’s melted snow, each season flowing into each season. River, I have been gone a long time. I am returning to your waters. River, I’ve come back. River. I’m afraid. Carry me like water.]

[florenceathanas]

seriously need some more flower emoji options like where is the orchid? the wisteria? the hydrangea… the pansy… the lily?? fuck

[florenceathanas]

belva-athanas​:

…

It’s too late to undo it. It seemed that even with their father dead and gone, so much of the damage had already been done. Hadn’t she said it herself to Horatio, that even though Vidal was no longer there, she still found herself making herself small in his name? Listening to his words and scoldings despite the fact that he was no longer able to punish her for disobeying? “Dad really left us with a mess, didn’t he?” There was no warmth to her tone, no pleasant reminiscing occurring between two siblings concerning their deceased patriarch; if anything it was resigned, bitter, the small wry smile on her lips far from her usual bright grin. Sometimes, even her smile felt manufactured by the man who had raised them, so bright that no one cared enough to wonder what it hid. 

“Yeah, you’re right. There’s a lotta smart people around. I’m sure they could figure something out.” So far, their track records weren’t the best, but then again, who could blame them? Vidal had left them a pile full of needles, and sorting through it to find which ones were the most important was near impossible. 

Florence gives her his full attention, his gaze settled on her as they speak, and it’s a good feeling. A warm feeling, one that makes her feel like not only is she allowed to speak, but that Florence wants to listen. Two years ago, that feeling only ever accompanied a small handful of people. “I can see why,” she replies, a small smile on her lips. “What did you get up to while you were away?” It’s a question she’d been curious about with many of her siblings, as she imagined their lives so different from her own, but had never made much effort to actually find out what they were truly like. The only people she’d kept in contact with from the house had been Ace, Horatio, and Remy, and their parents, of course. 

“Yeah, January of 2018,” she nods, gaze shifting back to the flower. She can still remember the conversation, Dad sitting both her and Ace down and telling them it was time to spread their wings. She’d known what it meant, however; he wanted them out. Why then, she still doesn’t know, and probably never will. “I wasn’t really expecting it. It was hard at first, figuring it all out,” and it had been, too many decisions (even if Bluebell had vetted every one) for a girl so unused to making any for herself. “But I had Blue and Harley. They helped a lot. I was really lucky with that.”

. . . .

" he’d probably just say it’s all a part of our inheritance, ” he joked, nodding his head to the side as he spoke. the will had never specified inheriting his secrets, inheriting his mysteries and ( literal ) ghosts, but he supposed it was an unspoken deal. vidal’s children got money or property or jewelry or stocks and the mess that had resulted from his moral ambiguity. the mess that had been created from his god complex, his unspoken insistence that he was as good as their creator. while florence did not know the origin stories of all of his siblings, he often wondered who they would all be had their Father never seen them fit to take in. would they have been better off ? 

“ and, uh, teamwork’s helped too, right ? there with that whole max thing and all... ” a year of their lives had been lost. they figured out who the person was, but would they ever figure out why ? “ if we could just all..., ” he intertwined his fingers before continuing, “ actually work together, set our differences aside, maybe we’d know more than just that. ” it was idealistic, florence was well-aware. he was well-aware that he was no stranger to idealism in general. but it was such a nice concept, one that absolved any of their associates of guilt.

what had he gotten up to while he was away ? it could be nuanced if he wanted it to be. it could be simplified if he wanted it to be. he could tell her all about his journey to self-discovery outside of the house, or he could simply say he’d found outlooks that suited him. he could tell her all about what his job was and what he hoped for it to be, or he could simply say its title. when asked about any of the topics that he felt closest to, it was never in an overarching sense. “ well, i found a community that i felt more... connected to myself in. it’s technically a religion – jainism – but it’s not very big in england. one of its principles, the heart of it that creates a... clearer divide between it and other religions that practice ahimsa, is that even that, ” he pointed to the thistle, “ has a soul. ” ( or used to, but that would be a downer ! ) “ everything you come into contact with has a soul, even the little things you can’t see in the dirt. so, by that principle, you have something that’s on par with us in your hand right now. its soul is just as real as any given person’s. ” that was, of course, the tl;dr, what had first piqued his interests. the nuances of the souls, the tirthankaras, the many-sided reality, the lack of worldly attachment... they all existed for more in-depth conversations. 

florence brought his legs up into a criss-cross position, leaning forward better now as she spoke. “ how have you liked it ? the... freedom ? ” of all of vidal’s children, belva was certainly one of the most restrained. what autonomy had she known before he forced her out ? he couldn’t imagine how much it must have hurt, to be told by your own Father that you were becoming too much of a burden, but had it been for the best ?

[florenceathanas]

belva-athanas​:

…

The word experiment causes an involuntary shudder to course through the woman, a dirty feeling washing over her. It wasn’t exactly an unfamiliar feeling (as someone raised to be pretty and voiceless was no stranger to unpleasant attention) but this was somehow more raw. An experiment. It was a cold word, especially in reference to their family. A family that, for many of those children, was the only one they had ever had. Belva had always known their family was nothing like the ones she read about in fairy tales, that there were things wrong with it, but to hear it reduced to so little was painful. Painful and yet accurate, which was the worst part. Florence’s words made sense. 

Bottom lip caught between her teeth, she nods slowly at his words, trying to focus back in on the conversation. A lot of it flies over her head, science just one of the many things her father didn’t see fit to focus on with her, but what she does understand is concerning. As if their father’s manipulation and dirty secrets wasn’t enough, now they had to worry about what physical symptoms might present themselves? “I think so,” she replies, trying to keep the anxiety out of her voice, blinking a few times to try and process. “So that just means…we should work even harder to figure it all out. In case maybe there’s something we can do if there…are those bad things that happen because of it?” Her voice is unsure, gaze shifting to Florence once more, eyebrows pulled together in thought.

Florence’s response to her question is one she focuses in on, easier to understand than discussions of rushed vaccines and long term side effects. It was one that she had often thought about as the house on the hill started to empty, as the chairs around the dinner table emptied until there was only a few of them left, the favorites and the baby and the one who their father couldn’t trust to be left to her own devices. Hearing Florence describe their mother as empty hurt, again not because it was inaccurate, but because she was now able to see some of the truth in his observation. She must have loved them though, must love them, right? Belva couldn’t bare the thought of losing that too, of losing both the woman and the security of knowing that at least one parent had truly loved her. Then there was the question of that emptiness, of an emptiness she often felt. In her desire to be like her mother, was she falling further into that void too? 

I loved all of you so much. These are the words that pull her back in, that act as a balm to the painful realizations the words before it introduced, and a minuscule smile rises to her lips. “That’s amazing, Florence,” she replies simply, and she means every word. When he had first left, been the first to fly the nest, a part of her had been angry. Angry that things were changing, unable to see that it was for the best. Now, she’s just thankful that he was wise enough to get out, to see the house and their father for what they really were, and want no part in it. “I didn’t really get why you did it, at first. I was a little angry, if I’m being honest, but…you’re right. It wouldn’t have been good for you to stay.” Florence was filled with light, warm and loving in a way so many of them hadn’t been permitted to be, and the thought of the house on the hill disrupting that was a horrible one indeed. 

. . . .

florence hadn’t set out to prompt any nerves. one of the things he had never wanted for his siblings was for them to feel any degree of fear ( to any degree he could help control, that is ). however, simply speaking the truth into existence was frightening, simply acknowledging the reality that they had all been lab rats. and it wasn’t just in whatever sociological experiment their Father had been performing, seeing if he could effectively play god. they had been the subject of a desperate scientific testing. why he was so anxious for them to forget about max, he wasn’t sure. a part of him was certain they would find out. another part was certain it would be just another mystery. “ i think so. if there is... something, then i guess it’s too late to undo it, but it’d be nice to know. and there are a lot of scientists around here... they could help. ” how many they could trust, he wasn’t sure anymore. how many they could use ? any. 

what florence had always wanted the most was to bring light to the bleak world he and his siblings were all forced into. what he had always wanted the most was to give them the care that their Father seemed incapable of, to offer the love their mom tried so hard to. and, when he thought of their mom, he was always overcome by a wave of sadness – she cared, she gave any ounce of love she had left to the children, but it simply wasn’t enough. she was... empty. what had started as someone beautiful, someone lovely, someone with a heart of gold, had ended as someone with a hollow smile and empty eyes. He could do that.

a small smile found its way to him in spite of the circumstances, watching her twirl the globe thistle for a moment before looking back to her. with the majority of his siblings, he would be perfectly content continuing with his viewing of their reaction to the globe thistle as they spoke. but belva had been molded in such a way that, as far as their Father saw, she was not meant to be listened to. the majority of his siblings would know he was listening in spite of him looking away. and he wouldn’t take any props away from belva, assume she was incapable of knowing he was still listening, but showing something so active... it was far more important to do for her, someone who wasn’t meant to speak out, than any of the others.

“ yeah, no – i get that, ” he nodded, focusing in on the anger she had once held. and she should’ve held it. leaving had both been difficult and a no-brainer. the decision had been a no-brainer, the actual packing up and walking away from his family ( his family being all but their Father ) had been the difficult part. “ it wasn’t something that was just... easy and i missed all of you so much. but i wanted to miss you more than i wanted to be trained to, uh, resent you. ” love and leave. “ you stayed until about a year ago, right ? ”

[florenceathanas]

Dollhouse as The Umbrella Academy

Part 3: The Parental Figures + The Commission 

Vidal - Reginald 

Florence A. - Mom

Remy - Pogo

Azra - The Handler 

Demir - AJ

Cecilya - Dot 

Neek - Herb 

Keep reading

[florenceathanas]

belva-athanas​:

…

To hear it put so plainly, we’re missing an entire year, made it feel even more surreal. How could their father have had the power to do that? How could he do such a thing and feel no regret? “Not just that, Florence, but what about that room we found? With all of those….all of those beds, and those recordings. And then there were the ghost kids and we just  none of us remember any of it.” It was a horrifying admission, and perhaps adding to the list of things to feel hopeless over wasn’t helping her or her brother any, but the blonde feels as if she needs to voice it; even if it’s hard, even if it’s unpleasant. The woman blinks at that, lips turned down, trying to fully understand the weight of his words. “You mean if whatever he did to make us forget might hurt us now, or something?” Her eyebrows are pulled together as she tries to figure out if that was possible, if it was just another thing for them to add to their list of concerns.

Belva nearly snorts at the phrase the most loved man in the community, but manages to resist the urge. It was so out of line with how she usually was, how the man they were talking about raised her to be, and yet recently she finds herself changing. Perhaps it was for the better. “I don’t know. You’re right, it’s…a lot. And there’s probably stuff we don’t even know about yet.” It was a daunting thought, and yet given how much of the house they’d yet to explore, it seemed inevitable. “Florence, how did you get up the courage to leave the house when you did?” The question is a bit out of the blue, but as she turns slightly to face her brother more directly, she truly does want to hear the answer. The globe thistle he’d given her is still held carefully in her right hand, her wide blue eyes focused on him. 

. . . .

much like himself, most of florence’s siblings had come to the realization that their Father was not a particularly good man. everything he did was out of self-service. he adopted children as a sociological experiment ( so it seemed ), he married solely so said children would have someone they could address as ‘mom,’ he'd borne children out of wedlock... and yet, something was so sinister about the recent goings on, hinting to things so terrible that even florence never would’ve imagined their Father was capable of. but how could any of them be surprised ? “ i always kinda... knew that we were some sort of experiment, but all of the, uh, implications behind those... they really seem to go past what i always thought he was... morally grey enough to do. ” the implications transcended morally grey. the implications transcended ‘bad.’ the implications possibly even transcended ‘terrible.’ “ kind of. so, you know how people test vaccines ? and, you know, they work well at first. there’s no harm done or anything. but then anywhere from months to decades later, all of the people who got the new vaccine start showing some weird... symptoms, you could call it ? they’re not always terrible or anything, but... it worked for what it was for, but it also might not’ve been worth it ? ” it was the best example he could think of. “ so, uh, whatever we got, it pretty clearly worked the way i think he wanted it to. but it probably hasn’t been... tested on anyone with the, uh, normal human lifespan. we were probably the first humans, but we didn’t volunteer – i don’t think, at least – so we’d be the... unwilling first ones who experienced... anything we weren’t, or aren’t, supposed to... does that make any sense ? ”

if they knew everything, then, to say the very least, florence would be stunned. their Father harbored so many secrets, prompted so many questions – there were so many answers that had yet to be found. “ he had so many secrets – i can’t imagine how many his friends had... i can’t imagine how many the house has. ” one answer, three questions. upon belva’s new question, seemingly unrelated, florence tilted his head. sitting up a bit straighter, he began, “ i didn’t want to stay long enough for him to... succeed ? ” turning slightly to better face belva with his entire being, he continued, “ after pacifico died, it was sort of like the only... adult who really had any, uh, real love to give us just disappeared. mom is an amazing caregiver, but she was so... empty. she did her best to love us, i think, but our Father kinda replaced all the love she had with duty and some kind of void. and he definitely wasn’t the most caring guy, kinda just saw us as puppets. i loved all of you so much, so it was a little tough, but i thought... ‘well, if i stay any longer, he might make me think i have reasons to dislike some of you’ – he kinda did work with erebus and emilio and i... i do hate that. i just... the person who kept me the most grounded, most connected to the real world and not our Father’s, was gone and i didn’t... want to spiritually go with him. ” did he make any sense ? “ there were a lot of times that i felt bad for leaving all of you, but... i wanted to love you and leave you, not get filled with some kinda resentment and stay. ”

[florenceathanas]

erebusathanas​:

.

deciding to forget everything but what was happening in that moment was the best and only decision he needed. if emilio wanted him to find himself then who better to do it than with the person that actually made him feel like a self could exist. here was his light and wonder. the soul that he had lost along the way. nobody could blame him for loving such a person, and nobody should blame him for wanting to surround himself in them. if true love was real and not just a fairy tale, then he’d be willing to bet it felt exactly how felt for florence. 

erebus eyes brightened even more, cheeks hurting from the smile on his face. he wasn’t used to this feeling, to having the attention of his light. it felt like a whole new environment, one he wasn’t accustomed to. “we shouldn’t allow age to strip us from enjoying things,” he chuckled, rolling his shoulders. “i bite towards the end, and only then. i suppose it is a bit boring to wait and count, but i just want to know.” nodding his head quickly at the question, more time with florence would always be an automatic yes from him. “would you, really?”

. . . .

the news had been rather difficult to hear. the man florence trusted the least doubled as the man who loved him – and not in a sibling way ( or we’d have a problem ), in that classic way, that cupid’s arrow way. although florence was not sure if he could love erebus in that same way, both his unfair perceptions and confusion getting in the way, the very least he could do was allow himself to grow closer to him. the very least he could do was erase what his Father wanted the children to see erebus as, to offer the man a real chance at showing his real self. 

“ i agree. i think peter pan had the right idea, ” he replied, allowing himself a smile around the other. it was a completely true statement – the way aging made what was once so fun, so curious, start to disappear was a genuine shame. if they could remain boys... would they ? “ i don’t even bite when i get to the tootsie roll center of the tootsie pop – it’s so sticky, it’s like caramel. ” he’d never needed braces, but he sure felt bad for any children who had braces and felt obligated to bite into the tootsie roll. “ sure, yeah ! i don’t have anywhere to be. ”

[florenceathanas]

message ✈️ emilio

florence: so everyone knows we dug up what was supposed to be Father's grave

florence: and everyone also knows that we found nothing there or at the foundation

florence: is there really anywhere we can go from here without "leads"?

[florenceathanas]

belva-athanas​:

…

Blue eyes widen slightly at Florence’s supposed admission, the blonde’s gaze focused on him now instead of the little flower that she holds so carefully between her slim fingers. Florence was intelligent and kind, and if he had a feeling that the police force of Vertmoor were no longer doing the best that they could, then perhaps her own thoughts had the potential to be validated. It was a pleasant enough thought, that her feelings weren’t an over exaggeration or simply a response to her being possibly targeted. She wilts slightly, however, at the thought of never receiving any sort of explanation. “I just want it all to make sense. I want to be able to remember whatever happened in that house, whatever happened to all of us. Don’t you?” She looks over at him, a bit of desperation on her face. How could she explain that she wasn’t sure if she’d ever be able to find peace, to move on, if she didn’t know what they had been apart of in the house on the hill? 

Moving so that she’s able to press her chest to her knees, slim arms wrapped loosely around them with the little globe thistle still clutched carefully in one, she listens to Florence’s thoughts. Her lips are pursed, but she gives a small nod. “I think it’s gotta be. I mean, Dad’s murdered, and then we find Mr. Arslan’s body? His best friend?” She shakes her head, even the act of speaking those words out loud so strange. “I bet that the shooting, the one that hurt Ms. Van Santen, has something to do with it all too.” What was the likelihood that the people closest to her father, and closest to the Vidal Athanas Foundation, kept being attacked or found murdered and it had nothing to do with him? Even Belva could work out those figures, and they weren’t very promising.

. . . .

if florence were being completely honest with belva, he would tell her he was never sure of how effective the police force was. even those few officers who actually tried to help could only help so much until their superiors stepped in – it was just the way things were. yes, even he, who did his very best to see the good in everyone ( and did tend to, thank goodness ! ), had some difficulty seeing the very best in the force. there were so many times, both before and after vidal’s death, that they could’ve stepped in. yet they never did. but there were some things he would not be completely honest about, some things that would do nothing but drag the tone down. and that was one of the few. letting his shoulders drop, picking up on the very obvious defeated energy and finding himself feeling the same way, he replied, “ i do, yeah. i do want to know... we’re missing an entire year… ” the entire year that maximus arslan had lived with them – so very many gaps in memory, even for a twelve-year-old. “ what if whatever it was has some sort of… lasting effect, too ? ” to what degree could they trust the scientists now ?

“ it’s… a little beyond weird, ” he replied, turning his head to face her. “ it just all connects so perfectly, but also something feels… really off about how it connects. dad is just so in the middle of it… ” oh, how he hated calling their Father ‘dad’ again, but calling him anything else in that moment felt just as off as the case ( that anyone in the group would probably be better at solving than the force ) did. “ and i know he wasn’t, uh, the most loved man in the community… but who would hate him enough to kill him and all of his biggest connections ? it just… on one hand, it’s like they all have to be connected. but, on the other, it’s like… that’s a lot of people and a lot of work for one person, or even one group, to do... ” one person killing them all ? one person setting up all of the electronics from the bunker all the way to the time capsule ? even a connected group ? the connection was so obvious, but… something about it seemed so unlikely !

[florenceathanas]

erebusathanas​:

.

slowly he began letting go of the worries he had felt, the presence of florence easing him into a cozy sense of warmth. florence made him feel again, and he could help but dive into the feeling with happiness. few were the precious moments he had with his love which made him cherish them above all else. to hear him speak so well to him, knowing that he wasn’t the most liked person or the easiest to deal with, made him happy. finally his love was allowing him a moment of his time, nothing could destroy that.

“i suppose it would get boring, but a part of me really wants to figure it out. you see, well you must know? father didn’t allow for much freedom towards mundane things, or at least not for me.” he said, looking at the lollipop with something similar to wonder. “if you do want to bite it i’d completely understand, it must be frustrating.”

. . . .

erebus deserved more than a fair shot. although florence hadn’t been broken by vidal quite as terribly as some of his siblings, a spirit that belonged only to itself, freeing itself from vidal’s grip, he was ashamed to say that his prejudgment of erebus had largely come from the whispers of vidal and the man’s association with emilio. and that was a little bit ironic, right ? the trust wasn’t complete, but he’d begun to trust emilio to a certain point. and yet he was always put under the presumption that she was the one that led erebus into darkness ? yes, to not give erebus a fair shot – two fair shots, three fair shots – was to let vidal win. was to let their Father – the capital F, the god – win.

florence nodded, apprehension still present but gradually lessening as he felt the energy of the other radiate. “ yeah, i think most people who try it do it when they’re really young. that might’ve been part of why it felt a little boring. growing up kinda… strips you of that wonder… which is a little sad. ” and the owl had confirmed that no one could get to the center of a tootsie pop… “ i’ve actually never really liked biting them ! it kinda hurts my teeth –  i just get... really bored of counting, ” he shrugged. then, feeling the absolute need to indulge this man who he’d been so inadvertently biased against, he tilted his head with a small smile. “ but i’ll race you ? ”