fluxbuddies

[fluxbuddies]

Twitter still producing bangers on occasion

[fluxbuddies]

pluralize ur adjectives for fun. it’s very cutes

[fluxbuddies]

Everyone shut up and look at this carving of a whale from the 1200-600 CE Chumash culture

[fluxbuddies]

i hate dogs with blue eyes. why is fucking jeff the killer at my back door

[fluxbuddies]

🦇Service Mindset🦇

Don’t be rude to whoever has the midnight shift at McDonalds

[fluxbuddies]

I tap the mic. “Most people don’t want to crawl down your chimney and steal your dog.”

the crowd murmurs uncertainly.

“If someone wants to steal your dog,” I continue, “there are easier ways to do that. They don’t have to crawl into a chimney.”

Murmuring intensifies. People stand in their seats and begin to boo.

“People disguising themselves as chimney sweepers and stealing dogs is not a rational fear,” I shout. “Literally anyone could steal your dog. Why make sweeping chimneys illegal?”

“I have a list of chimney sweeps who stole dogs from parks!” Someone yells, throwing a shoe.

“You seriously think no chimney sweepers could possibly ever steal from a home?” Another cries.

“Only a dog thief would even want to crawl into a chimney to begin with!” Says a third.

A single tear rolls down my cheek. They are all so fucking stupid

This is a metaphor

[fluxbuddies]

The more I read into reports about industrial and transportation accidents the less I feel like “operator error” actually exists

[fluxbuddies]

beautiful women named extreme heat warning keep blowing up my phone

[fluxbuddies]

[fluxbuddies]

Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

[fluxbuddies]

"fruit has sugar" warning post reminds me of my coworker who told me to make sure I don't get "addicted to fruit". yeah i'm also addicted to a nice walk on the beach

[fluxbuddies]

Being the only bi cis guy amongst almost exclusively trans friends and peers is wild because in theory its like im living in a horny manga where all of a dudes friends turn into hot babes, but in reality they are hunting me like the last bison on the prairie. 5 years ago I mentioned bionicle and one of them asked when I was starting estrogen.

[fluxbuddies]

well. it’s the middle of june. and one could say we’re in a heatwave.

[fluxbuddies]

mutuals let's sit at the end of the dock and splash our feet in the water while we watch the sunset

[fluxbuddies]

[fluxbuddies]

i love sluts i love perverts i love dykes i love faggots i love aromantics i love freaks i love librarians i love ibuprofen

[fluxbuddies]

I LOVE DRIVING SAFELY AND MAKING SURE PEDESTRIANS AND CYCLISTS ARE SAFE BECAUSE I KNOW IM DRIVING A 2800 LB DEATH MACHINE AND THEY ARE JUST PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!