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CLARITY [K.MG]

Mingyu doesn't want to pay you any mind. To him, you're just another girl that'll get her heart broken by his dumb best friend.
Why would he care, right? He shouldn't care about the crying sounds he hears from his bedroom when his friend stands you up for the girl he's actually in love with. And he shouldn't be getting close to you. He shouldn't dread the day his friend decides to end things with you and bring someone else home. He shouldn't be wishing to have met you first.
pairing: mingyu x f!reader (with a side of bad bf!jungkook)
word count: 30,2k (lmaooo)
genre: bf's best friend mingyu, (awkward) acquaintances to lovers, the other side of the f2l trope, angst, smut, you could say there's a drizzle of fluff
content warnings: emotional cheating, tsundere mingyu at first, too much crying, self-manipulating, moral dilemmas, jealousy, possessiveness, alcohol consumption, denial (tons), one minor injury, mention of blood, a love triangle?, sexual tension, inappropriate things happen between mc and mingyu, petnames: babe, baby, princess (hers) | explicit smut, teasing, body worship, praise, marking, protected penetration, it's love making guys
đ§: mine â ive, breathing â nct dream, knew you â kailee morgue, begin again (taylor's version) â taylor swift, i wanna tell u â lexie liu
a big thank you to tiya @gyubakeries and ro @shinysobi for reading this over and telling me it doesn't suck ⥠and rae @nerdycheol for supporting my simp and pathetic men agenda âĄ
THIS FIC IS FOR +18 READERS ONLY! I can't control what people read, but I can control who interacts with my blog. MINORS CAUGHT INTERACTING WILL BE BLOCKED.
disclaimer: i didn't want to make any svt member the asshole so i made him jungkook, but i love jungkook he's literally my bias in bts and my forever ult so please just remember that this is a work of fiction and it doesn't represent how he is in real life nor how i view him (it pained me writing him this way you have no idea kdjfgnrjeskgf). i also didn't proofread the last two scenes iÂżm sawrry
last note: there are several pov switches throughout the whole fic, because it just went where it wanted, I had no control over it, it was the fic i swear.
check out my main masterlist ⥠dividers used: heartbeat, paper texture (banner)
i hope you enjoy! i'd love to read your thoughts :)
âAre you sure I wonât bother him?"Â
Youâve blocked Jungkookâs hand from opening the door to his shared apartment, forcing him to look at your pleading eyes.Â
âBabe, itâs not the first time youâve come to watch a movie, he doesnât mind, stop worrying.âÂ
âItâs just... he always locks himself up in his room when I come over. Maybe he doesnât want to get to know me.â You whisper, in fear the door doesnât muffle the sounds from outside and heâs standing just by the entrance.Â
The few times youâve crossed paths with your boyfriendâs roommate, he barely said hi before sprinting out of whatever room you were in. Sure, your relationship with Jungkook is fairly new, and you donât expect to become friendly with his circle of friends so quickly. But if his closest friend wonât pay you any mind then how are you supposed to get along?Â
âHe does that to give us privacy, I promise it has nothing to do with you.â Jungkook doesnât notice the coldness you're sure his friend exhibits towards you, as he has been that way every time he brought a new girl to their home. Jungkook attributes it to his friend simply giving him some space, to not make everything awkward by being the third wheel. âHe wanted to watch a movie, and he said it was cool when I told him you were coming over.âÂ
A deep breath leaves your lungs at his confirmation, even if itâs already the tenth time youâve asked the same question and got the same answer.
Inside the apartment, Mingyu sits manspreading on the couch, phone in his hand and headphones at the maximum not-deafening volume. Jungkookâs still in his fairytale phase, that time at the beginning of a relationship when he still tries to introduce his new partner to aspects of his life, in which Mingyu is included. Thatâs the only reason he accepted his friendâs insistent plea to hang out with you both tonight. And when a hand shakes his shoulder lightly, he knows itâs his Jungkook with his new catch of the semester.Â
You sit on the other end of the couch, as far as possible from Mingyuâs motionless body, still unsure on where you stand with him. Neither of you make the effort to talk to the other while Jungkook goes to his bedroom to change. You donât want to bother him and make him have a reason to dislike you, and Mingyu notices your nervousness, but prefers not to do anything about it.Â
Mingyu has learned to not try hard to get to know Jungkookâs fleeting girlfriends, because no matter how nice or how pretty you are, in a matter of weeks, he knows his friend will find something to complain about and eventually use as an excuse to break things off. Itâs a never-ending cycle, and he learned he canât do anything to stop it.Â
âWhat are we watching?âÂ
Jungkookâs loud voice breaks the ice beginning to build up in the living room, and quickly sits down between Mingyu and you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. He doesnât seem to notice the ignoring contest going on, chatting with Mingyu like the other man wasnât just dead silent.Â
After discovering youâve never seen Rocky, a few gasps from Jungkook and a lot of convincing later, the movie starts playing on the screen in front of you. You didnât actually care what they chose, just happy to spend some time with your boyfriend, even if youâre not alone.Â
Mingyu knows the movie from beginning to end and backwards, could even recite the dialogues if asked, not because he particularly likes it, but because Jungkook somehow always convinces the girls he brings to their home to endure it.Â
He used to argue with him about the reputation he built of being a heartbreaker, but Jungkook doesnât see it that way. To him, heâs just trying to find the one in an endless quest that never fulfills him the way he thinks a relationship should. But Mingyu knows Jungkook well, and the real reason why he canât last in a relationship for longer than a few months is clear as day, but Jungkookâs blind to it.Â
You pretend to focus on the storyline, Rockyâs growth journey that Jungkook was so excited about, while he comments on his favorite parts. Itâs not a movie youâd pick if you were alone or with your friends, too manly for your taste, and the romance aspect is too shallow, but Jungkookâs perspective and insightful comments are making you appreciate it more.Â
Tears begin forming on the corners of your eyes as the final fight progresses, your throat closing up in warning as the rounds pass and Rocky gets beaten up by his opponent. No matter the genre, movies always make you cry during the final act as the protagonist reaches the goal after struggling so much.
After the referee separates both opponents, tying at the 14th round, the public demands a rematch, but Rockyâs more preoccupied to look for the woman he loves. You try to sniffle quietly, no longer being able to put a stop to your weeping, and snuggle against Jungkookâs chest, just as his phone rings, receiving a call from Cathlyn.Â
From the corner of his eye, Mingyu notices the whole interaction, and he almost gets shocked by Jungkook blankly rejecting the call in an instant and putting his attention back on the screen. How didnât Jungkook notice youâve been loudly sobbing for the past fifteen minutes is beyond him. But the shock lasts less than two seconds, as Jungkook's phone rings again and he gets up from the couch, heading to the kitchen with his phone in his hand and his thumb already opening Cathlynâs text conversation.
You know Cathlyn has been your boyfriendâs best friend since high-school, and became inseparable since then. You even came to meet her a few times. Sheâs funny, nice and outgoing, effortlessly being the center of attention.
The living room gets cold again after Jungkook goes to the other room, and itâs too obvious that Mingyu just doesnât have any interest in engaging in small talk with you. Your last sniffles echo against the walls, and the sigh Mingyu lets out almost sounds louder in the sea of dense silence.Â
Another sniffle from you and a tired sigh from him, Mingyu gets up to go after his friend who doesnât seem to be coming back to the couch soon enough. He leaves a pack of tissues in front of you without sparing you a glance, and just walks past the couch.Â
"Dude, donât just leave me alone with her.â You donât mean to eavesdrop on their conversation. You really donât. But the sound carries. And it just proves that Mingyu clearly doesnât like you. âSheâs your date, not mine.âÂ
âSorry bro, Cathy was calling me nonstop. I thought something had happened.â Not necessarily true, as she called only once and Mingyu's aware of it. âShe wants to go out tonight, clear her head a bit.âÂ
âI donât care what Cathlyn wants. Your girlfriend was crying and you just left her there.â Itâs almost like he was defending you, but something in his tone suggests that it isnât about you specifically. You blow your nose one more time, and the sound echoes into the kitchen. âListen, sheâs still crying like a baby, go with her bro.âÂ
Last words you hear before heavy steps begin and get closer and closer to the living room couch until the man sits by your side.Â
âSorry babe, I know movies always get you emotional.â Jungkook apologizes sweetly, even if thereâs something else in his mind.Â
âItâs okay.â The sun setting behind the windows draws your attention away from your boyfriend. âI should get going. Itâs getting late and I promised my roommate weâd go out for dinner.âÂ
Lame excuse, but youâre aware youâre not wanted at the apartment anymore by half the people living under that roof, and it really is too late.Â
Jungkook nods, unbeknownst to the uncomfortable situation he's a part of, and grabs your coat as you get up from the couch. You turn back, smiling to Mingyu coming out of the kitchen as a form of goodbye, but he just nods and sits back down.Â
âWe're going out later, and Cathyâs paying, you wanna come? Itâs a bar close to here.â Jungkook naively asks as he walks you to the door. He might be genuine with his invitation, but youâre not sure.Â
âI told you I have an important meeting for the congress tomorrow morning, I can't go out."Â
Jungkook hasnât proven himself as someone with the best memory out there. Youâve had to remind him of important stuff a few times already. The key is to just take a deep breath and not let it stir up any anger within you, because thatâs just how he is.Â
âOh, I thought it was on Sunday.â Jungkook asks just as Mingyu walks past the end of the hallway into his bedroom and shuts the door.Â
Even he knows about your meeting, because you told Jungkook last time you were there, and even if he locks himself up in his room, the walls might as well be made of paper the way he can always hear your conversations.Â
âTomorrow is Sunday.â You note as you chuckle lightly.Â
âOh, shit. Then I guess Iâll see you when you're done.â He gives you a sweet kiss for the first time in the day, light and fleeting like a feather, and closes the door after you take a few steps towards the elevator.Â
Nayeon closes her macbook suddenly, done with all the work you have been doing since the early morning, ready to take a deserved break. âSo? How was the hot date last night?â She rests her chin on the palm of her hand, ready for whatever gossip youâre willing to share.
âIt wasn't hot.â Your eyes donât leave your notebook, in an intent to work on ideas to make the presentation more interesting.Â
âYouâre so secretive! Câmon, tell your best friends forever and ever what you did!â She insists, making you chuckle as you see your other friend mirroring her from the corner of your eye.
Your pen drops from your hand onto the table as you finally look at them. âIt was just a movie night with his asshole roommate.â
âThe hot one?â Jennie intercepts, now more interested than before.
âI don't know Jen, his only roommate.â You try to go back to your notes but your friendsâ unrelenting stares make it impossible to concentrate. âAnd how do you even know him? Iâd never seen him before meeting Jungkook.â
âItâs âcause youâre too cool for campus gossip,â Jennie takes the chance to poke fun at your lack of knowledge of basically anyone, âbut everyone knows Jungkook and Mingyu.â They both giggle at their mention.
âBe serious, we're not in high school.â You deadpan, but deep down you know nothing really changes from high-school to college. The drama remains the same, just with a few years added to the people involved. âThereâs no such thing as the popular guys.â
When you were younger, the different cliques that formed were crucial to what the experience was going to be for the years to come. And you used to live for the gossip. You always knew the latest fight or the newest couple before anyone else. It felt important at that time and it kept you entertained. But as you grew older, got into college and met new people, meaningless gossip lost its interest, your focus now on passing your classes, meeting new friends, and having the best contacts to move forward with your career.
Sure, you knew of a Jungkook, as your best friends are up to date with the gossip and like it or not, you end up hearing everything even if you donât know the people theyâre talking about. But before he approached you at a party, you had no real idea who he was. Itâs true that when you first saw your boyfriend at that party, he caught your attention immediately, and itâs undeniable that if you had seen him before, you wouldâve been caught in his spell like every other girl on campus.
âWhat I mean is that people take notice when two hot guys hang out everyday.â Nayeon points it out like itâs the most common thing in the world. And maybe it is. âTheyâre like candy to the eye, too sweet, unapproachable, but nice to see nevertheless.â
You donât forget to roll your eyes before replying. âMingyuâs still an asshole. He never talks to me! Iâm sure he curses at me in his head every time I show up at their apartment.â
âHe seems so serious all the time.â Nayeon adds, having your back. âHeâs probably a stem major or something like that.â
âHeâs always hunched over his computer, so he probably is.â You note, eyes returning to your notebook so you can keep working on the presentation and be done with the topic.
âI once tried talking to him at a party, but he just looked me dead in the eye and said he wasnât interested.â Jennieâs stare gets lost to the view out the window as she remembers. âI barely told him my name.â
Nayeon and you exchange looks before erupting into laughter.
âYou guys are so mean!â Jennie complains, but joins to laugh with you two.
âHey, at least he had the decency to tell you that and not lead you on.â Jennie shrugs, not really hurt as she has already forgotten that cursed interaction. âHe barely says hi to me before sprinting out of my sight.â
âHe doesnât really talk to many people except that group of friends they have. Itâs not personal, he's just a little anti-social.â Nayeon puts her two cents in. âJust let him be an asshole if he wants to be one!â
âI shouldnât let him occupy that much space in my mind.â You nod at them and they both nod back in agreement. âIâm dating his best friend, heâs going to have to accept it.â
Nayeon and Jennie exchange looks, raising their eyebrows at your words before going back to you.
You have a vague idea what they meant by that, but you still ask, incredulously. âWhat?â
âNothing!â They say in unison.
They tried several times to enlighten you about Jungkookâs âreputationâ, as they called it, but you prefer to get to know him on your own and not have your judgement clouded beforehand. Rumors are just that, rumors.
âLook,â with your hands slapped on the table, you order their attention, âI know you guys donât really like that Iâm dating him,â you observe, âbut I promise, Itâs fine! Heâs really nice and I think he really likes me.â
âItâs not that.â Jennie says at the same time as Nayeon exclaims, âIâm sure he does!â
âWe already told you, he usually dates for a few months before breaking up all of the sudden.â Jennie continues, paraphrasing every warning they already gave you. âWeâll have your back with whatever you want to do, just be careful.â
âI wonât let a tattooed man who I've only been dating for a couple of weeks break my heart.â At least you think you're stronger than that.
âAm I an asshole if I tell you to just not get your hopes up?â Nayeon asks, and if it was any other person, you'd get mad, but only because it's her and she just lacks tact sometimes, you let it slide.
âYes! You are!â You chuckle, knowing sheâs just looking out for you. âThank you guys for worrying about me. Now, I think we should shorten the introduction a little bit. Everyone there already knows who Durkheim is, we don't need to explain his whole biography.â
The notes you've been taking all day stare back at you, now more of a bunch of senseless scribbles than useful annotations.
âUgh! Back to work already?â Jennieâs body falls limp on her chair, not ready for more hours of brainstorming and not reaching any goals.
âThe professor wants to hear the whole thing tomorrow, we can't show up with anything less than a perfect speech.â You insist, opening Nayeon's macbook again against her will.
âDo you promise to tell us any good gossip about those friends of his, in aboutâŠâ she looks at her empty wrist, pretending there's a watch there, âtwo hours? We'll work diligently until then.â
A deep sigh leaves you with a barely there smile you try to hide. âFine. Two hours, and then we can take a real break.â
The waitress carries two pieces of cake and the biggest strawberry smoothie youâve ever seen in your life, heading to your table. The size of the cup brings out chuckles from both Jungkook and you, but as soon as it gets placed between you on the table, the two straws draw your attention, and Jungkook asks the waitress for another smaller chocolate smoothie.Â
âYou can have that all for yourself babe, I know how much you love strawberries.âÂ
You donât admit that you were excited for the corny romantic moment of sharing a smoothie with two straws, appreciating that he at least remembered your love for berries.Â
Jungkookâs phone keeps vibrating with notifications, which he reads but doesnât respond to, trying his best to focus on whatever youâre telling him. His mind is anywhere but the diner where you decided to have an afternoon snack, battling between answering Cathlynâs worrying texts and listening to the ideas you gave for the presentation youâre doing with your friends in front of various colleges soon.Â
In the middle of your story is when you realize Jungkook hasnât said a word, his eyes lost to the much more interesting brown swirls on the wooden table.Â
âIs everything okay?â Heâs been noticeably distracted lately, getting lost in thought more often, taking longer to reply to your texts. You attribute it to the time of the year, as heâs busier at work and with his studies, and so are you. But even if he says heâs fine, youâre beginning to worry.Â
âYeah babe, sorry, just a little tired.â His lips line up in a tight smile in an attempt to reassure you. âDo you mind hanging out at my apartment after weâre done eating?âÂ
Scraping your plans to catch an afternoon movie, you hum and nod before returning to eating your piece of cake, seemingly disguising your disappointment since he doesnât ask any more questions.Â
Jungkook leaves his plate exactly the way the server left it for him, the piece of chocolate cake with not even a particle less, his fork unused and clean on the side. He gulps down his new personal smoothie in a second, and as soon as the last piece of your cake is entering your mouth, heâs asking the waitress for the bill. He knows youâre still talking to him, he can see your lips moving, but your words enter one ear and leave through the other, having no meaning in his mind.Â
Jungkook pays without asking for your share, which you werenât even going to argue with him about. Youâre usually a heavy supporter of each person paying for what they ordered, but as the minutes pass by, itâs becoming harder and harder to not get mad at him, so youâre going to spend his money without feeling bad about it. You know you should ask him about it, but shouldnât he tell you if something was wrong? Especially after youâve already asked him? Between being a pushover and pretending nothingâs happening, you end up choosing to just spend the rest of the afternoon with him and hope heâll just tell you the truth.Â
The walk to his apartment is less than 10 minutes long, but every dreaded step drags heavily, making everything move slower, with the both of you in silence, and the incessant notifications blowing up his phone acting as a remainder of his true priority.Â
Jungkookâs trying to ignore the constant ping coming out of the pocket of his jeans, pretending he isnât dying to just answer who keeps trying to contact him.Â
And you have a vague idea of who it could possibly be.Â
The cold apartment doesnât feel welcoming as you enter through the door, lights off and deadly silent. Excusing yourself to the bathroom, you tiptoe around as if in fear. Your reflection in the mirror looks unmistakably disappointed and sad, and you wonder if Jungkook really didnât notice or just didnât care.Â
He can be charming and gentle when he wants to, always so polite and respectful, but the ability to be aware of your feelings may be something he could work on. Or at least understand that the things he does ultimately affect you too.Â
In the kitchen, heâs already forgotten his one rule for the date, and is carefully answering every message he got, the glasses of water he was filling for the both of you forgotten on the counter.Â
When he hears you come out to the living room, Jungkook rushes to sit with you, with a plan already in mind.Â
âBabe, will you get mad if I go for a bit?â His fingers trace lines on your forearm, and you begin to lean into him before your brain registers his words.Â
âWhat? Why?â You ask as your eyes search for any type of clue on his face.
âCathy called me,â he takes a second to think about the best words to use, âshe had a fight with her boyfriend, and I have to be there for her.âÂ
Jungkook never liked Cathlyn's boyfriends. Something about them always feels off about them, as if none of them are ever right for his best friend. In his eyes, he just wants the best for her, someone who'll really be able to care for Cathlyn in the way he thinks she deserves.Â
âOh, I hope sheâs okay.â Deep down, you wonder if it really is so serious that Jungkook feels obligated to stand you up. But itâs fair, she needs her best friend when sheâs having a bad time. The fact that her best friend is your boyfriend is a coincidence you canât be mad about.Â
âIâll be back before dinner and Iâll make it up to you, okay?â Heâs already standing up, his arms on both of your sides as he crouches to give you a quick peck goodbye.Â
The door closes shut before you can even utter a reply, and his steps echo on the hallway, getting further away every second, until youâre left in complete silence.Â
In the quietness of the apartment, you instantly feel out of place, unwelcomed by the inanimate objects surrounding you. Seconds turn into minutes, the ticking of the clock being the only sense of time you have left. You donât want to grab your phone, avoiding the inevitable feeling of disappointment thatâll take over you if there are no texts from Jungkook waiting in your notifications.
How stupid is what youâre doing? How desperate? Waiting for your boyfriend to come back from the home of the woman that seems to be his priority? You know you shouldnât be feeling this way, especially since he's already told you that sheâs just his best friend. But itâs still hard.Â
The back of your eyes burn as tears threaten to come out, blurring your vision just as you hear a key turn, heavy steps entering the home youâre not supposed to be in.Â
 â  â  â â â  â â â  â
Mingyu knew he'd find you at his apartment. Â
Jungkook texted him that he had an emergency and had to leave in a rush. And Mingyu knows what âemergencyâ really means in that context. It means Jungkook rushed over to Cathlyn's at the first sign that she was feeling off, and he wanted to hide it from him so he wouldnât have to hear the same reprimand again.Â
What Mingyu didnât expect was to find you on the verge of crying on his couch, scattering to find any form of tissue paper somewhere inside your bag.Â
You both freeze, looking at each other for about half a second before rushing to greet. You pretend you werenât crying, and he acts as if he didnât notice. Mingyu utters a quiet hello as you mumble some kind of apology for being there, and then he locks up in his bedroom as usual.Â
His friend put him in an awkward situation once again. Mingyu doesnât want to get to know you more than he already does. He knows you're on a different major and thatâs enough, because one day, in the near future, itâs going to be another girl walking through the door instead of you, and heâll never see you again.
He tried a few times to stay friendly, but no one really wants to stay in contact with someone so close to the man that broke their heart. And he gets it. That's why he stopped trying all together.Â
Mingyu would usually come home from work, put on his headphones, and spend a few hours on his computer until his stomach urges him to eat something. But for this particular afternoon heâs been put in, he skips the headphones in case you need something, or at least until Jungkook comes back, which he isnât even sure is going to happen.Â
A project for work distracts him for a good while, organizing different stats and numbers on the excel sheet his boss sent him earlier in the day. He almost forgets youâre on the other side of the wall. Almost.Â
If he loses his focus on his computer screen, he can hear when you move around on the couch. What can you possibly be doing? Is what he asks himself at any noise that reaches his ears, but thereâs never an answer. Until something alerts him that youâre not doing well. The same sniffle he heard days ago as you were watching a movie with Jungkook echoes against the walls of his bedroom.
Youâve been trying hard not to make any sounds that may disturb Mingyu, as you assumed he was busy by the way you could hear the non-stop clicking of his keyboard from where you were sitting. But your mind seemed to have other plans, so much so that you lost control of the cascade of tears brimming from your eyes.Â
In between everything, you miss the sound of a door opening and steps getting closer to you. Mingyu comes into view as youâre wiping away tears with the back of your hand, and you canât pretend he didnât see you this time.Â
He sits by your side in silence, mainly because he doesnât know what to say, but also because he canât just leave you alone in this state. He feels responsible in a way.
âIs he withâŠâ Are the first words that come out of his mouth after seconds of dead silence.Â
âHe didnât tell you?â You look up at him to find him staring into the wall. He shakes his head, glancing at your slightly blotchy face before looking down.Â
âHe just told me you'd be here, but I figured.â Your body relaxes the tiniest bit. Good, at least youâre not an unannounced guest.Â
âShe had a fight with her boyfriend.â You explain, more frustrated than understanding.Â
âRight.â He simply replies.Â
Both of you sit there, fixed on your spots, too aware of the other. Mingyu realizes youâve stopped crying, maybe because you donât want to cry in front of him, but at least your breaths became less deep than before.Â
A growl from your stomach reverberates through the room, and you flush in embarrassment.Â
âYou canââ he coughs before continuing, âyouâre here often, you can help yourself if youâre hungry, itâs no big deal.âÂ
âOh, thank you,â you chuckle, trying to conceal the humiliation, âbut he said he didnât have anything. Thatâs why we went out. And I canât really cook, so.âÂ
Never in the past weeks would you have thought youâd be sharing embarrassing details about you with your boyfriendâs cold roommate, but life has a funny way of turning things around.Â
âIâm sure thatâs not true. Thereâs no way you canât do the basics.â His body turns, now facing you as he takes an interest in your not so fun fact.Â
âIâm not lying! I canât even make scrambled eggs.â You hide your face behind your hands, and you immediately hear Mingyu laughing as the dent beside you on the couch disappears.Â
âCâmon, Iâll teach you. I happen to be a great cook.â Your stomach growls again, and Mingyu looks back at you as he walks towards his kitchen, leaving you no choice but to follow him.Â
Mingyuâs not thinking about this exchange with you too much.
Yes, heâs doing exactly what he promised himself he wouldnât, as this will inevitably make you both closer and he will not be able to turn back to his cold self again. But he couldnât just go on with his day knowing you were having a bad one, and even worse, knowing you were crying because of his friend.
He had to do something, and if that something is becoming your friend for the afternoon, then so be it.
âGrab the egg carton with his name on it.â You chuckle as you follow his instructions, âand his milk too, why not.â If he left you stranded, the least you can do to get back at him is use his stuff and not Mingyuâs.Â
Between laughs and Mingyu indicating instructions like he was teaching a 5-year-old to cook, time passes, you forget why you were at the apartment in the first place, and you end up with a fine plate of scrambled eggs that doesn't taste bad at all.Â
âI told you it wasnât that hard.â Mingyu sits in front of you on the rounded table as you share the food.Â
âWell, Iâll let you know if your teaching lasts until I have to cook alone.â You chuckle and avoid his stare, realizing your words sounded much friendlier than you intended.Â
Back in the living room, Mingyuâs ringtone disrupts your conversation, and his sigh alerts you that he might already know whoâs calling. He gets up with another sigh, throwing you a knowing look before going to answer Jungkookâs call.Â
You appreciate his effort to make you feel better, and when he doesnât ask Jungkook any questions over the phone, only replying with yeahs and okays to whatever heâs telling him, you understand that Jungkookâs not coming back, and whatever heâs telling Mingyu will just make you feel worse.Â
Before Mingyu comes back, you do the dishes that you used and get your stuff together. The decision to leave has already been made.Â
âLeaving already?â He appears at the entrance to the kitchen, leaning on the edge of the door like a statue.Â
âI know heâs not coming back. Iâm sorry, I shouldâve left earlier, I didnât mean to be a bother.â Itâs the first time youâve addressed that feeling you have that you constantly bother him, and itâs kind of freeing.Â
âYouâre not a bother.â A man of few words, Mingyu feels like he meant a lot more with that simple statement than just dismissing your apology.Â
His blank reply doesnât feel forced, not like he only said what you wanted to hear. No. He said it automatically, not thinking much about it, and it took a heavy load off your shoulders.Â
âStill, I shouldââ Youâre now standing right in front of him, looking up at his face as he doesnât realize heâs in your way.Â
âRight, sorry.â Mingyu rushes to get out of your way, stumbling against his own feet as he walks backwards to go get his keys. âDo you need a ride? I couldââÂ
âOh, thank you, but itâs okay. Iâm meeting a friend at a restaurant close by.â A warmness spreads on your cheeks at his offer. âDo you happen to know which way to go? Itâs supposed to be a few blocks from here.âÂ
To redirect his attention away from you, you show him the address of the restaurant on your phone screen. You frequent the neighborhood on a weekly basis, but the blocks tend to mix up, as the buildings look too similar to each other. Mingyu scratches the back of his neck, trying to remember the names of the streets around his place.Â
âI think itâs three blocks to the right, and then two to the left.â He doesnât sound very convinced, but you trust youâd be able to tell if heâs sending you the wrong way, so you take his word.Â
Even after denying him, Mingyu still accompanies you downstairs, and you politely say goodbye to each other at the entrance before separating.Â
The sun sets on the horizon, the golden hue painting the streets beautifully as you walk. âThird block to the right, then turn left,â you mentally repeat, trying to concentrate on the directions as well as you try to find a street sign that'll tell you if youâre going the right way.Â
As you reach the second block to the left, where Mingyu implied the restaurant should be at, your phone vibrates inside your purse. The unknown caller doesnât give up while you contemplate whether to pick up or let it go to voice-mail, but something in the back of your mind urges you to answer. So you do.Â
âWho is this?â In case that another telemarketer got a hold of your phone number, you try to sound annoyed.Â
âItâs Mingyu, sorry,â his deep voice sounds the tiniest bit robotic due to the poor service, âI realized I sent you the wrong way. You have to turn right instead of left.âÂ
âOh,â you chuckle as your eyes read the street number youâre at, âthank you.â You donât tell him you couldâve figured it out on your own, a tiny smile appearing on your face at his gesture.Â
âI shouldâve warned you that Iâm terrible with directions.â His breathy chuckle reaches your ear at the same time as a metal ruffling sound. Was he heading out to find you in case you didnât pick up?Â
âNo worries.â Your mind is blank, as the two things youâre most awkward at doing are getting combined in one: phone calls and talking to Mingyu. âHow did you get my number?âÂ
âI asked Jungkook for it just now.â That feels weird for some reason, but you toss that feeling away, trying not to overthink about it. âYou okay?âÂ
âYep! Heading that way now! Thank you! Bye.â You abruptly hang up on him, the only way you thought to end the awkward conversation.Â
Your heart rate escalates, pumping hard like itâs about to beat out of your chest as you go the correct way now. Whatever you do, your mind still manages to replay what just happened over and over again, until youâre standing in front of the restaurant hostess.
Walking towards the table you see Nayeon sitting at, the idea of Mingyu having your number saved makes the back of your neck tingle with nervousness, and you can't shake the feeling even as you greet your friend and she starts telling you about her day.
Maybe youâre giving it way too much thought. Itâs just the excitement of finally feeling like youâre growing closer to your boyfriendâs friends. Nothing more.
There's been a noticeable shift in the awkwardness of your âfriendship" with Mingyu. You didnât become best friends overnight, but at least he stopped fleeting away from you anytime you'd be over at their apartment, and wouldnât deliberately choose the spot furthest from you at any group gathering.Â
As you and Jungkook step out of his car and walk over to the front door for the costume party a classmate of his was throwing, you can only take a deep breath and hope your extroverted self appears after a few drinks, and that Mingyu doesnât decide he hates you again, because heâll be the only other person you know at the party.Â
Not much of a partier yourself, youâre just trying, for him. Trying to join your boyfriend in what he likes, especially after he showed interest in you being there with him by inviting you.Â
The loud music can be heard even with the door closed, and Jungkook texts his friend to come pick them up, because ringing the bell clearly wonât do anything.Â
âHi man! Sorry for making you both wait.â A tall blonde man who youâre sure is named Jackson welcomes you in, giving Jungkook a man hug before looking you up and down and asking. âWhat did you guys come as?âÂ
âIâm a firefighter dude! And sheâs...â Jungkook looks at you waiting for your answer, not even trying to remember the name of the character youâre dressed up as.
âMavis, from Hotel Transylvania!â You smile as Jackson finally lets you in, and you can see in his expression that he has no idea who youâre talking about when you walk past him.Â
As soon as you cross the door, it is a relief to find Jungkookâs whole friend group there, sitting occupying the entire couch for themselves, only one big body missing from the ensemble.Â
Jungkook only takes his hand off you to greet his friends one by one, and makes them promise to save you seats while you go to the kitchen to find something to drink.
It hasnât been long since the party started, but the crowded house is already filled with that dense air mixed with the smell of sweat, and the sticky bodies make it harder for you two to advance into the kitchen.
Part of you is relieved that Mingyuâs nowhere to be seen, if heâs even at the party. Sure, youâre getting along now, but being around him is still stiff and awkward. Maybe you can use this opportunity to try and get close to Jungkookâs other friends.Â
Sitting between him and other two strangers that squeezed themselves on the far end of the couch, that plan is quickly scrapped. Itâs possible Jungkook doesnât realize youâre too far away to be included in any conversation, he wouldnât do it on purpose, but you have no will to tell him. Not when his body is fully turned away from you as he talks to Cathlyn and the guy she's dating, Yugyeom.
The music's too loud for their voices to travel backwards and let you hear, but judging by Jungkookâs menacing body next to yours, he doesn't seem to be liking the conversation. He didn't talk much about Yugyeom, that name being new to you as Jungkookâs hadn't even mentioned him before. And from what you know, he and Cathlyn have been having some problems for the past few weeks, so it's normal for her best friend to dislike him.
â  â  â â â  â â â  â
Mingyu thinks of himself as somewhat of a good friend. Sure, he may have some faults and he fucks up every now and then, as everyone does, but whenever his friends need him, heâs there. He covers for Jungkook at school, listens to his girl problems as any friend would do, hates whoever he hates, and heâd never break that friendship over any random girl. That said, heâs still a man, and he has eyes.Â
When he comes back from the patio after catching up with some old friends he bumped into, he first lays eyes on the striking yellow costume Jungkookâs wearing. But as he follows the bright color, he sees you sitting by his friend's side, his arm wrapped around you but giving you no attention as you drink from an almost empty cup.Â
It's no surprise to him that Jungkook's too enthusiastically talking with Cathlyn instead of any other friend, or instead of dancing and enjoying the party. What shocks Mingyu is how blatantly heâs ignoring you, sitting so pretty by his side.Â
Yeah, Mingyu can admit he finds you pretty. He might be a good friend, but heâs not blind, and denying it would just make him stupid. Any guy with a brain should be lining up for a chance to talk to you, getting lucky to be the ones you spare a glance to. Instead, youâre sitting with an arm around you and being ignored by its owner. It could be that heâs gulping down his fourth drink already, but he might even go as far as saying youâre his type. But thatâs about as far as it could possibly go. Youâre pretty, nice, and in love with his best friend. Well, maybe not in love yet, but you like him enough to put up with his shit. And Mingyuâs not interested. He canât be.
A smile forces itself on your face as your eyes catch his across the room. The most polite way to acknowledge his presence without trying to interact with him further.
Mingyu nods your way and drives his eyes elsewhere. Itâs not like he wanted you to do anything else, and even if he wanted to go up and chat with you, he couldnât have fit in between you and the people on your other side crushing your free arm.Â
So, he stays there, standing against a wall on the only free hallway âin which there arenât any people because Jackson threatened anyone who dared to step within a two feet radius of his bedroom, watching the scene progress before his eyes.
Where his friend has a reputation of being a heartthrob, a player, or a heartbreaker, Mingyuâs always thought of as Jungkookâs serious and mean friend. A bad school reputation is the least of his priorities, and he doesnât care to change how people he doesnât care about think of him. Itâs not like heâs not enjoying the party, he just prefers to stand alone and drink. If that paints him as a boring guy, so be it. He tries scanning the room to find a friend to catch up with, but it's pointless, only the bright yellow costume makes itself visible.Â
It's mostly a blur of bodies messily dancing to 2000âs pop songs inside that room, but Mingyu could recognize his best friend's silhouette if he was miles away and 90% blind. Your costume contrasts with Jungkook's in a way that even drunk Mingyu realizes itâs you who's being dragged onto the âdancefloor".Â
He sees you get loose as his friend's hands wrap around your waist and move your bodies in sync. It seems that every single light in the house is on despite it being a party, and youâre in the center of his line of sight, constantly and too easily catching his attention.Â
What he doesnât see, however, are your constant complaints about dancing, appearing as flirty whispers to anyone who wasn't listening. And after he takes his eyes off of you two to find a glass of cold water, youâre back again to your original place on the couch, this time with much more space around you.Â
âNot much of a dancer?â His feet directed Mingyu to where you sat almost instinctively. Thereâs finally room to sit down so heâs going to take the opportunity before somebody else does.Â
âOnly when Iâm in the mood.â Your stareâs lost somewhere in the room, paying attention to your drunk boyfriend dancing with his best friend.Â
âI see.â You both sit awkwardly, body facing front and eyes focused on the same view.Â
âCool costume, by the way. I love Hotel Transylvania.â Mingyu manages to fill in the gaps of the heavy silence.Â
âThank you! Youâre the only one that recognized me.â A small smile appears despite your bad mood.Â
âPeople here lack basic culture.â A simple joke followed by awkward laughs from the both of you, the atmosphere doesnât help to ease the tension of your interaction.Â
âI wanted Jungkook to dress up as Johnny.â You have to stretch your neck to Mingyuâs side so he can hear you above the loud music.Â
âThat wouldâve been cute.â Mingyu doesnât know what else to say. Itâs been a common occurrence for him to go blank when talking to you.Â
âI guess heâs not a fan of matching costumes.â You try your best to continue the conversation, not really caring whether heâs interested or not. The little alcohol in your system wonât let you fall on an awkward silence again.Â
âHe probably got tired of them after so many years.âÂ
You freeze.Â
âWhat do you mean?âÂ
Mingyu realizes he just fucked up. All those drinks he had before you came, and that one after, finally brought him to the stage where his mouth gets loose and he starts blurring out things he shouldnât.Â
âUhâ, I mean, Cathlyn used to force him to do it for halloween.â Force.Â
For the record, Mingyu's not a liar. He might be loyal to his friend, not wanting to put him in bad situations, but heâs not going to go above and beyond to protect an already weak relationship. So, he picks a word thatâs going to save Jungkookâs ass, but still saying part of the truth.Â
âRight.â If you caught on to his deliberate choice of words, you donât show it to him.Â
 â  â  â â â  â â â  â
Itâs pointless to get mad at your boyfriend for such a meaningless piece of information. Every relationship is different, and you shouldnât be comparing yours to a much older one. Their bondâs just different! It doesnât have anything to do with you if Jungkook didnât want to do stupid matching costumes.Â
Still, youâre glad Mingyu slipped and gave away the truth, and you appreciate his effort to make it sound less bad.Â
Jungkook gives you no time to ponder on what to do though, as he stumbles his way back to you, so drunk he canât regulate his strength and falls hard on the couch.Â
âMy heead hit the back of the c-couch with my head.â Jungkook pouts and slurs his words.Â
âOw, baby, youâre really drunk.â Mingyuâs eyes pierce through your back, and a wave of self-consciousness takes over you. âShould we go home?âÂ
Jungkookâs cheeks feel warm in your hands as you try to get him to look at you, but his drunk mind can only concentrate on one thing at a time, and for the time being, his eyes are focused on Yugyeomâs hands groping Cathlyn's ass shamelessly as they dance.Â
âI donât feel so good.â He only says, his drunk stare having a hard time straying away from that scene as he gets up and stumbles his way out the house.
Mingyu runs after Jungkook just behind you, and manages to catch him before he faceplants on the damp grass outside.Â
âWhere did we leave my car?â Jungkook asks no one in particular, disoriented from his almost-fall. âWait, youâre not my girlfriend!â His eyes go wide as he realizes who was helping him and tries to escape.Â
âIâm here, babe.â Before he manages to, you wrap your arm around his other shoulder, leaving him no choice but to be embraced by yours and Mingyuâs hold so he doesnât hurt himself again.Â
Now that youâre outside, with no music blasting at full volume, no people around pushing you constantly, and breathing fresh air, youâre too aware of your surroundings. Or more specifically, how Mingyuâs arm and yours touch behind Jungkookâs back.Â
It's a weird way to break the ice of skin to skin contact in a friendship, but maybe itâs what you need to end the lingering awkwardness that surrounds your interactions once and for all.Â
âI saw you drinking.â You scold Mingyu after you two lay Jungkook down on the back seat and he turns to find his way back to his car.Â
âIâm not drunk anymore.â He mutters just before he trips with his own foot. âOkay. Iâll crash on the back seat for a while and then Iâll go home.âÂ
âIâll drive you.â Mingyu's silence as he thinks of a polite way to turn your offer down only eggs you further. âIâm going there anyways.âÂ
âI-I wouldnât want to take advantage.â He fiddles with his keys, avoiding your eyes.Â
âOf what? Me? His car?â Mingyu hesitates, the gears in his brain visibly turning.
âI donât know.â Itâs quiet, his response, and no matter how cute and defenseless he looks when heâs drunk, you donât really have time to wait.Â
âIâm offering.â You deadpan, but try to flash a small smile so his drunk brain doesnât understand your hurriedness as anger. âYouâre clearly still drunk, câmon, donât make me have to drag you.â
Realizing thereâs no way out of this other than listening to you, Mingyu caves in and gets on the passenger seat of Jungkookâs car. âYou wouldnât be able to drag me anyways.âÂ
Of course, you can't push an over six-foot-tall gym bro even if you use all possible bodily strength you have. "Hell yeah I can!â Your teasing stare meets his, and you know he got what he wanted by pushing your buttons.Â
"Iâd love to see you try.âÂ
An indescribable feeling completely shuts down the workings of every organ inside you. It could be what he said, but itâs just a common phrase to tease a friend. It could be his eyes that refuse to leave yours. Or it could be the silver of a smirk that appears as you hold your breath. Whatever it is, you push it down, hide it on the very back of your mind and put up ten walls to disguise as a simple and normal response to teasing.
âWe should-âÂ
âI donât like him.â The drunken backseat passenger you had forgotten about interrupts you.Â
âWho?â The distraction allows you to break eye contact with Mingyu. A believable excuse to put a stop to whatever was happening.
âThat guy she was with.â Jungkook looks like heâs talking to himself, his eyes closed as if he wanted to fall asleep and unaware of who he's actually talking to.Â
âCathlyn? Her boyfriend?â Mingyu intercepts so you wouldnât have to ask the awkward questions, already knowing where this conversationâs going. âYugyeom?â
âUgh, don't say his name.â Mingyuâs instinct tells him to see your reaction, to check if you realize what Jungkook means by all of this, and especially if it hurts you. âHe has a douchebag face.â
You chuckle at his pouty statement, but deep down his words pierce a surface cut on your denying heart. Itâs gone as fast as it came, but it was there, and your hands automatically started the car, urging you to start driving like nothing happened.
Ever since the evening started, Mingyu knew Jungkook wasn't going to have a good time. Not since opening the door to the bar that revealed Yugyeom there with Cathlyn.
âWhy is he here?â Jungkook muttered under his breath, annoyed, on the verge of being angry.
âShe's allowed to invite her boyfriend. Just like you invited your girlfriend.â Is all Mingyu replied.
Jungkook has been in his life ever since he can remember. When their first tooth fell out, when they schemed behind their parents to figure out if Santa was real, when he got his first bicycle and Jungkook laughed in his face when he fell and scraped his knee, when they met Cathlyn in high school and Jungkookâs eyes shined brighter than ever, when they went to prom and lost their virginities on the same night, and when they got accepted to the same college and joined the same classes. Every memory Mingyu has, itâs always Jungkook by his side. He can't mess with that peace, no matter how violently he wants to tell his friend to stop playing with girlsâ hearts and realize heâll be much happier if he owned up to his true feelings.
So, he resorts to trying to make Jungkook connect the dots himself by telling him harsh enough truths. Itâs a work in progress.
In the few hours youâve all been at the barâs pool table, Mingyu hasnât said a word. He's been sitting alone at one table on the side, seeing his friends sucking at playing and actually having fun.
With the excuse of being tired and simply enjoying watching each round, he took the opportunity to be temporarily invisible. With all of them busy, he can look at you all he wants, smile to himself when you miss your shot, and pretend to be drinking from his half empty glass.
Thereâs not much more he can do. Whatever he thinks he feels, whatever he thinks of you, itâs wrong. Thatâs why, at that moment, he prefers the loneliness of his table. The crude reality punishing him in real time is enough.
Doesnât matter if youâre on the same team as Jungkook or not, your attention is always focused on him. You search for his touch, his eyes, crave his attention on you. But the more drunk his friend gets, the more competitive he gets, and the little patience he had with your lack of pool skills is quickly dissipating.
Another round finishes, with the both of you losing to Cathlyn and Yugyeom again, and itâs more than obvious that Jungkookâs annoyed. When your opponents excuse themselves to the bar to get more drinks, you try playing on your own and see an opportunity to try and get Jungkook in a good mood again.
âI swear I know where to hit it! My arms just wonât cooperate.â A chuckle escapes during your lighthearted shout.
Jungkook sighs at your missed shot, your pout having no effect as heâs trying to conceal his annoyance. âWhich one are you thinking?â He only asks.
âThe red one, close to the middle?â You point to it, waiting for any reaction, but he just waits for you to continue. âIf I hit it a little to the right, I think it can go inside the left corner hole.â Bodily coordination may not be your strong suit, but youâve played enough online pool that your brainâs trained to draw the imaginary angles.
The main idea was telling Jungkook your theory, him realizing you actually have an idea of how to play the game, and finally teaching you how to get a hold of the cue stick correctly.
âYou have to do it like this.â Jungkook takes the cue from your hands and takes your place, ushering you to the side to watch as he takes the shot. âYour index and middle fingers serve to place the tip of the stick where you want it.â
âBut I-â You were right, and the ball enters exactly where you said it would, but you canât chant victory. Not when his attention shifts to a heated argument just meters away from you.
In the second it takes you to focus on whatâs happening, your eyes land on Yugyeom stomping out of the bar, a crying Cathlyn left behind. You donât even have to check if Jungkookâs still by your side, as he soon enough appears with an arm around her shoulders in an intent to console her.
When he starts getting the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, and heads to walk out the door, you realize the comforting session wonât be quick. But why would it be? His best friend just had a screaming fight with her boyfriend in public. It makes total sense that heâd want to take her out to have some fresh air and a little more privacy than inside the full bar.
âIf I knew the night would be like this, I wouldâve stayed home resting for next week.â Your body falls on the chair next to where Mingyuâs been sitting in silence. His flat expression rapidly makes you uncomfortable, like you just crossed a line. âShit, theyâre your friends, Iâm sorry, I shouldnât havââ
âNo, youâre right.â He interrupts you, with a tone that implies you must've taken the words right out of him. âI get having troubles, God knows I've seen them go through stuff, but we're allowed to be tired of it.â
Between his cold exterior and sometimes unfriendly choice of words, Mingyu's surprisingly capable of understanding other people's feelings.
âHas this been happening a lot recently?â You don't care to sound like a gossip. âHer fighting with her boyfriend, I mean.â
Mingyu sighs, eyes wandering to the door through which both of his friends just stepped out of. âLetâs just say, itâs been a regular occurrence.â
âWell, letâs not let other peopleâs problems ruin the fun.â You decide out loud. Youâve been having fun since you got here, regardless of your boyfriendâs bad mood, and youâre not going to let anything ruin your last night out before the busy week you have ahead. âDo you want another drink?â You down the last sip of what Jungkook was drinking.
âOh, actually, Iâm saving to pay for gas for the trip we have next week. I promised to drive, so.â Mingyu explains, too apologetic for simply refusing a drink. âYouâre coming right? Itâs a congress that our collegeâs doing.â
âOf course Iâm coming,â maybe you should be offended that he doesnât know, but itâs not his fault, âIâm the one giving the presentation.â
âWait, seriously?â Mingyuâs eyes go wide, in slight shock as well as in embarrassment. âI knew you had a big thing coming up, but I didnât think it was that! How did I not know?â
âMaybe Jungkook forgot to tell you. You know how he isâŠâ Mingyu nods at your statement, but the answer brewing in his mind gets cut short by the glass door opening once again.
As if he was summoned, Jungkook re enters the bar alone, quickly lets you know he'll wait outside for Cathlyn's uber with her, and leaves again without sparing you another glance.
Silence fills the void between Mingyu and you, only murmurs from the people around the bar manage to make it not unbearable. Awkward again, you never seem to have a normal conversation with Mingyu without feeling some type of way. Jungkook interrupting seemingly added a layer of tension very hard to dissipate.
âIâm gonna⊠practice playing.â You arenât the best at handling awkward silences, so you stand up with that excuse. âIâm so bad at it! I think the stick does the opposite of what I want on purpose.â
Mingyu chuckles behind you, following you to the pool table to watch up close. âYouâre not that bad.â You look at him dead in the eyes, head tilting to the side with scepticism. âIâve been watching you play! You just need to learn how to get into position correctly.â
Your arms cross in front of your chest, deciding if what Mingyuâs saying is in any way true, or if heâs just trying to make you feel better. He takes the cue laying on the table, accidentally knocking a few balls away from their places in the process.
âShow me how youâd do it.â As he hands the pool stick to you, warm smile and standing tall facing you, you feel secure he wonât tease you if youâre awful.
âOkay, but donât you dare mock me.â The lighthearted threat makes him chuckle again, and your fingers tremble grabbing the stick from his hand. âThis is my usual.â
You mentally cringe at yourself, but you push through it and lean your chest forward, hovering over the table, setting the tip of the stick between your fingers and analyzing which ball to hit.
âI see where things might go wrong.â His voice sounds closer with each word, but it's not enough to prepare you to feel his chest against your back, his arms embracing you to guide your hand where he wants to. âYour handâs too close to the end of the stick. Youâre not in full control of it.â
When he places his hand over yours, helping you slide it up the cue, youâre sure your whole bodyâs covered in goosebumps. Your heart accelerates to unimaginable speeds, about to jump out of your chest as Mingyuâs breath fans on the back of your neck.
âI think we can get the blue striped one,â your mouth blurts out faster than your brain can think, âIf I manage to hit the white a little to the left, I can go right and push it into the middle hole.â You try to play off the unprecedented effects Mingyu has over you, forcing yourself to get your mind back in game mode.
He doesnât let go of his hold on your hand, his arm grazing yours even more closely. âAre you sure? That one seems like a long shot.â You can hear his smirk through his teasing words.
âJust help me hit it there.â Your head turns just barely to the side, finding his face much closer than you imagined, and your eyes roll before going back to the table, trying to mask the blush you feel creeping on your cheeks. âI know Iâm right.â
âRelax a bit. Itâs close to the hole, so you don't need to hit it too hard.â Mingyu extends his other arm over the table, helping you position the tip to hit exactly where you told him to. You don't dare move, his cheek brushing against your temple freezing you in place momentarily.
When you feel his hands tighten over yours, taking control of the stick with your fingers tangling with his, your arms fall limp, letting him shoot the shot. With the tiniest push, the barest tense of his muscles all around you, both your arms move the cue forward and hit the white ball.
The both of you smile as the striped ball falls in the hole you said it would, relaxing against one another before realizing just how close you really are.
âI told you, I was right.â You chuckle away from him, using cue in your hands as a barrier.
âIâm sorry I ever doubted your skills.â Maybe itâs the drink he was stalling to finish until you approached him, but Mingyuâs more relaxed with you tonight, a little more prone to smiling than usual.
âBabe?â But Jungkookâs voice quickly wipes it off his face. âLetâs get going, wait for me outside.â
âWait!â You get off Jungkookâs hold, almost offended that he thinks he can drag you away at his will. âI was finally getting a hang of it. Mingyuâs a better teacher than you, you know.â You try to joke to ease the suddenly tense atmosphere, but it doesnât work.
âIâm really tired, babe. And I promised Iâd take you home, so, please?â Jungkook retorts, face turned your way, but his eyes are on his roommate.
The staring contest between the two men doesnât stop, an indecipherable friction you donât really want to find out the meaning behind.
âOâŠkay,â there isnât really an out where the three of you will be happy, so you just accept Jungkookâs petition to leave, âbye Mingyu.â
You walk away, your hand in the air wishing for Jungkook to take it and come after you.
Mingyu begins to grab his stuff, assuming the both of you will be quickly out the door by the time heâs done paying his tab, but it seems the night is not over for him yet.
Jungkook grabs him by the arm and turns him around so theyâre face to face. âWhat do you think youâre doing?â
âWhat the hell man?â Mingyu shoves the otherâs hand away, a hunch telling him his friendâs anger has something to do with you.
âI leave for a minute and youâre all flirty with my girl.â Jungkookâs always been a jealous man, but Mingyu canât help but sigh at the accusation.
Still, Mingyu canât lie and say he wasnât flirting. He canât say he didnât love the way you were blushing and squirming under him. And he canât say that it wasnât what he was looking for.
âI was entertaining her because you left.â He retaliates with a part of the truth. âItâs getting old man, you canât just leave her to go after Cathlyn all the time.â
âYouâre back with that again.â Jungkook throws his arms in the air, easily irritated by the topic. âYou know what? Iâm tired of this.â As the confrontation he was looking for didnât turn out the way he wanted to, Jungkook begins walking away, âIâm leaving, weâre leaving.â
âYou never want to talk about it, but you know itâs wrong.â Mingyu adds, a little louder this time. âYou gotta stop.â
âWhy are you so worried?â Getting more frustrated by the second, Jungkook barely turns, not fully facing Mingyu. âYou never cared about it before.â
âCâmon man, Iâve always noticed.â How awful of a person he is. Accomplice to his best friend breaking girl after girlâs hearts, itâs true that he never cared this strongly about Jungkookâs extracurricular activities. Even though he always tried to make Jungkook realize the truth by himself, for his own good, Mingyu can admit, to himself at least, that now he has an added, selfish reason to want his friendâs behavior to come to an end.
âItâs my life. When I need an opinion, Iâll ask for it.â With that, Jungkook finally leaves, getting out the door to where youâre waiting in the cold.
Mingyu wasnât done with the conversation. There was so much more he wanted to say. He wanted to say that itâs your life too. Jungkook's messed up feelings were affecting the people around him too, especially every girl he dates to forget. Especially you. But he just couldnât keep pushing it, not without the truth coming to the light.
Mingyuâs reputation of being too serious, or even heartless sometimes, wasn't born out of nothing. He's aware of his resting bitch face, of the way he bolts in and out of class and the way he's never the first choice for group projects in the classes none of his friends attend. If he cared what other people thought of him, maybe it'd hurt. But he has enough friends, friends who like him the way he is, and doesn't go to college to expand his contact list.
Going to university, to him, was exclusively a way for him to learn more about his likes and interests. He goes to his classes and focuses maybe a little too much, but itâs how he lives his days, how the hours pass until he has to go to work. That is, until you came into his life unprovoked, and disorganized his sharp and efficient lifestyle.
He never crossed paths with you on campus before, and if he were to run into you after the first time he met you, he would've probably ignored you and scurried to his building like a flash. But today, he unconsciously looked around, hoping to catch even a glimpse of your figure coming out of your majorâs building. He hoped youâd see him and smile at him as you walked his way to make useless small talk. But you didnât, of course you didn't, and as soon as he sat down on his usual seat in his favorite class, he realized. Heâs fucked.
For the first time in his life, the numbers on the chalkboard didn't make any sense, the words coming out of his favorite professor's mouth sounded like a mumble of pure nonsense. His mind couldn't focus, diving into the memory of your sweet smile next to his ear. Or the shivers your body graced him with as his hands purposely covered yours on the cue stick. His hand would grab his pen to try and write a single sentence, and the feeling of your fingers barely interlaced with his would overwhelm him.
Whatâs worse than pining after your best friendâs girl? As of the moment, Mingyu has no answer. Thereâs nothing he can really do either, besides accept youâre in a sort of happy relationship. He canât take you aside and say âhey, you know your boyfriend? My friend? Yeah, so I have a theory that he might be in love with his girl best friend, sorry!â Even thinking of doing so puts a bad taste in his mouth.
He's aware that, currently, he's at least top5 worst friends in the world. And he's not looking to end your relationship and get bumped up to the top1. It's decided. He'll just ignore whatever feelings are bubbling on the pit of his stomach until they disappear!
Easier said than done, because nothing he does seems to get you out of his mind. And the vivid reminder that heâs nothing more than someone you have to get along with is screaming at him everywhere around his home.
The four walls of his bedroom imprison him, suffocate him with the thought of you. He is a bad friend. He does want you. He does resent Jungkook for keeping you his. But if he broke up with you, would Mingyu ever see you again? Would he ever get the chance to see the heat visibly rushing to your cheeks as he walked closer to you?
Mingyu hates himself. He hates himself for getting turned on at the memory of your body heat against him, shivering at his closeness but not pulling away, letting him wrap himself around you, even if the both of you knew he shouldn't. He needs to drive his mind elsewhere.
Locking in to work in front of his computer, trying to scare away the sturdiness building up in his jeans, it might become the first time he wishes it was his day to go to the office. The front door of the apartment opens, rushed steps and messy, wet, breaths echoing against every thin wall that surrounds him. The reminder that what he deeply wants, it's not, and should never be his.
Working from home has never been so much of a curse.
â  â  â â â  â â â  â
Jungkook grips at your sides, his body flushing against you and pressing you further into the couch. The near desperate way his lips roam over yours has you gasping for air, but he doesnât relent, hands making a mess of your hair as he hopes you give him the satisfaction he craves for.
He grinds his hips against yours with determination, and you press against him trying to give him what heâs hopelessly looking for. But no matter what you do, he goes in for more, your bodies getting more and more out of sync.
You try to give him what he wants, emitting sounds of a satisfaction you're nowhere near feeling. His mouth moves to the side of your neck, leaving marks you're not sure you want.
The white door, now in your line of sight, calls for your attention. You shouldnât be thinking about other people while you have a man in between your legs doing everything to feel any type of pleasure. But if the yellow light sneaking below the closed door alerts you of something, is that the person at the back of your mind is probably right there, behind the dangerously thin cardboard the architects of the building call a wall.
âIsn't Mingyu gonna hear?â The choked up question comes out in a whisper, in fear, in panic. And the mention of his name speeds up your heart rate far more than your current activity.
Jungkook barely cares about your worry. âHe's gaming.â
You know gaming implies wearing noise canceling headphones and tuning out of the real world. But is he really?Â
âI don't know, babe, shouldn't we check?â It sounds stupid to even ask. Check? Knock on his door to very politely ask him if he can hear you having sex?
âHe's not gonna hear,â Jungkook sighs, finally looking you in the eyes to answer, âand I wouldn't care if he did. He has to know you're mine.â
There's a speck of disdain behind his words, behind the weirdly possessive statement he just made. It leaves you more breathless than ever.
âWhat are you talking about?â You don't know what kind of egotistical manly fight they have going on, men friendships are not exactly your expertise, but it can't be about something you're aware of.
âDon't tell me you don't see it.â Jungkook hasn't gotten up from on top of you, but his hands on the sides of your waist tighten a bit more after your question.
âI don't know what you mean.â You chuckle in an intent to ease up the newly tense atmosphere. You didnât mean to make it about him. âHe's your friend, you shouldn't be jealous.â
âAnd you shouldnât be talking about another man while you're under me.â Jungkook retorts, half angry, half still turned on. It's a weird mix. One that doesn't let you reply to correct yourself.
Jungkook lowers down to your mouth once again, kissing you fervently to make you forget about anyone else. And you decide to let go. Heâs here, your bodies tangled together and your loose clothing crumbled up your torsos to feel each otherâs skins. You shouldnât doubt that, in that moment, he wants you.
You drift away into the feeling of his lips against yours, both hands cupping his jaw to relax the hurried pace heâs setting. His hands under your t-shirt feel good, like he knows what heâs doing, like he knows how women like to be touched, and it helps. It helps free your mind of everything else.
Still, youâre careful of the sounds that leave your lips. You let Jungkookâs tongue slip inside and dance with yours, muffling any soft moans you donât get to restrain. He searches for something, his hips angling with yours to feel some kind of friction. If he keeps moving like that, youâll be in the mood in no time.
A ringtone coming from the back pocket of Jungkookâs jeans disrupts the quiet setting. You stiffen under him, but he doesn't let his mood come down. You're grateful when he grabs his phone to decline the call and puts it on the end table in a rush, finding your body with his hands once again.
It's like, for the first time, he's prioritizing the time he planned to spend with you. He searches for your touch like nothing happened and you're the only thing he's thinking about.
âJust let it go to voice-mail.â Your hoarse voice surprises you, echoing over a new call. Jungkook doesnât respond, not stopping the trail of kisses up your neck until your lips are against each other again.
But a call comes in again, and he groans against your mouth, trying to ignore it, letting the default ringtone soundtrack your activities until it stops on its own. Itâs awkward, but he doesnât stop kissing you and wraps your legs around him, trying to make you forget.
By the fourth call, you're both annoyed, and Jungkook reluctantly gets up from on top of you to check who's bothering him so much. The caller gives up just when he gets the phone in his hand, but from the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of him opening his texts. You donât mean to spy on him, not wanting to be a controlling girlfriend that needs to know everything her boyfriend's doing, but itâd be nice to simply⊠get told.
The clicking sounds of his fingers typing on the small screen of his phone are about to send you straight to a mental hospital. Why's he typing so fast? So insistent? Is he mad? He's not telling you anything, as if he forgot he was just kissing you out of breath.
âDid something happen?â You dare ask, even if deep down, you know the answer is clear as day. You know whoâs the only one capable of making him drop everything in a heartbeat. âIs Cathlyn okay?â
âShe needs me.â Is all he replies. Cold. Decided.
âWhat do you mean?â The question manages to mask the anger brewing inside you. For now. But you need an explanation. How many times can you put up with the same situation until you blow up? He canât expect you to be all right with being stood up constantly.
âYugyeom broke up with her.â He explains without looking at you, like thatâs enough of an excuse.
âShe always needs you when youâre with me.â Bitterness bleeds through your mumble. It doesnât feel good. You should understand that best friends need each other. But why are you never on the receiving end of his undivided attention?
âYou canât expect me not to care when sheâs going through something. Sheâs my best friend. She goes first. Always.â
His words are like a bucket of ice water in the middle of winter. The explicit revelation that his priorities are carved on stone. There's silence as he realizes what he said, and neither of you dare speak up.
Your lungs expand but no air gets inside, and your throat threatens to close as your body prepares to start shedding tears. âWhy make plans with me if you're just gonna sprint her way at any sign of trouble?â You canât stop them. âYouâre supposed to be with me.â
Tears cascade down your face, quiet sobs getting in the way of your pathetic pleads. Covering your face from the outside world, you shrink in place, giving in to the crying as Jungkook kneels in front of you.
âBaby, I'm sorry.â His now soft voice barely reaches you over your sobs. âI know I haven't been very present.â
âNo, you haven't.â His hands carefully withdraw yours from your probably blotched face.
âI promise you,â Jungkook makes the effort to look you in the eyes, âafter this, Iâll be better. I'll make it up to you.â
He tries. But you, convinced or not of his willingness to fulfill the promise, don't want him to leave. It's not about the fight, or the sex, or even him. If he leaves, it cements you as the second option. If it was about winners or losers, you'd lose.
âStay.â It comes out so quiet you're afraid he didn't hear you.
But he did.
âI can't.â
Silence again. Deafening silence as you look at each other with different thoughts racing through your brains. He decided. There's nothing to be done.
Jungkook takes your hand in his and squeezes it tight in an attempt to bring you comfort. He thinks he's doing the right thing. He thinks he'll be able to nurse his best friend's heart and then come running back to you after.
At your silence, he stands up, reaching for his coat hanging on the hallway before sparing you one last look and heading out.
The soft click of the door closing behind him breaks you a little more inside. The couch, no longer warm with the weight of two bodies, feels empty, too big for you to fill.
Bare, exposed, you let yourself be vulnerable only for him to cut you off and leave you there, with your feelings blurting out of you in the form of tears and sobs. The undecorated walls judge you as you cry your eyes out. Is there something you can do thatâll make him like you more? You already try so hard, youâre just not⊠her.
When the white door opens to reveal the other man of the house, you're not surprised. Of course he was there, and of course he heard everything. Your luck wouldn't let you escape this situation without throwing a more embarrassing one at your hands.
It took Mingyu all of two seconds to realize what was happening. His headphones in the grip of his hand are proof that he did not want to hear what you two were doing, he just didnât get to put them on. He may be a bad friend, but he's not one to invade someone's privacy.
That's why it took him a bit more time to decide to step out of his room. Would you let him be there for you? Would you be too embarrassed? You shouldnât be, he thinks. Itâs not your fault.
At one point, he got used to Jungkook abandoning his fleeting girlfriends at the first notification from his best friend that popped up. Mingyu never did anything for the girls, and they usually left after a few minutes. Maybe that's why most of them didn't like him. He didn't care, and they always cut ties with everything Jungkook related after the break up, so why would he?
He shouldn't be doing anything. Caring that you're crying alone in the middle of his living room goes against every rule he imposed onto himself. He should be cleansing his mind of you, stepping away from the weird not-friendship you two developed and going back to focusing on the things that matter. He shouldnât let you climb up that list.
But as soon as he heard his roommate standing up and leaving, the itch at the back of his brain started screaming at him to do something. How can he step back and do nothing? He canât be indifferent this time. Unfortunately, he does care. Unfortunately, every sob and quiet sniffle tugs at his heart and urges him to be there for you, to come out and try to be there for you as best he can.
The sight of you, even if it's not something he hadn't seen before, breaks him. Making yourself as little as possible, with your clothes wrinkled and your hair a mess, you let him sit by your side, the cold couch caving under him as he settles at a good enough distance that heâs close enough to feel him beside you, but not sticking to your side inappropriately.
The silence with him is a more understanding one. Itâs not the first time heâs seen you cry, but you donât dare say anything. Is there even something to say? You didn't argue, Jungkook didn't run away angry at you, he didn't tell you he hates you and wishes you were somebody else, yet, you feel as if he did something worse. Empty yet full of self deprecating thoughts you wouldn't voice out to the best psychologist on the planet. You couldnât tell Mingyu even if you wanted to.
A hand, warm and firm, places just above your knee. Itâs soft, careful, an innocent touch to understand that heâs there for you. The gesture is oddly comforting, and you allow yourself to feel everything. The embarrassment, the disappointment, the hurt, knowing Mingyu won't judge you for it.
âItâs not your fault.â Mingyu claims, his voice overpowering your racing thoughts.
Maybe itâs the way he says it so sincerely, but you break down even more. Your hands cover your face once again, bending down until your forehead touches your knees. Mingyuâs hand frees itself from the cage you created. Heâs definitely had enough of your crying for the night by now. He tried to help and you repay him by dropping half your weight onto his hand and continue crying? If he leaves too, you wouldnât blame him.
But he doesnât leave. Instead, Mingyu wraps his arm around your shoulder and brings you closer to him. âHe doesnât deserve your tears.â
Your heart stops for a second, taking in your closeness and the reason behind it, and what he said about his close friend. Your head lays against Mingyuâs shoulder almost on its own, and he keeps you there, even if your tears start staining his shirt.
âHe wasnât like this before.â Your voice breaks trying to defend the you of the past, and the arm behind you stiffens before you feel his hand hold onto your other shoulder for comfort. âThey warned me, and I didnât listen.â
He shouldnât be the one to tell you. Mingyu knows that. But youâre so broken, crumbling against him like thereâs nothing else you can do, that he almost lets the truth slip out. Itâs on the tip of his tongue, the thing thatâll break you even more. But he canât allow himself to do it.
So, he stays silent, offering a place for you to let out all your feelings. Whatever you need to feel better, even if itâs just a little.
Mingyu doesnât know how much time passes, or what youâre thinking, but he can feel how your breathing regulates with every second. Eventually, your sniffles become rarer and rarer, you straighten your posture and, unfortunately for him, step away from his hold.
âIâm sorry, Iââ You canât look him in the eyes, taken aback by the realization of what happened, guilt making you trip over your words, âI shouldnât haveââ
Getting up and gathering your things is the only thing you can think of doing. Whatever solace you found in his arms is now gone, replaced by an awkwardness you donât know how to handle. Mingyuâs eyes bore holes on your back as you pick up your things that fell down when you first entered the apartment without care.
âItâs okay,â Mingyuâs gentle words help you relax, but the need to get out of the apartment is stronger. âYou can stay, I donât want you to leave while being upset.â
âI canât be here, Mingyu.â You donât mean to sound so hostile, but everywhere you look is a reminder of how pathetic you just were. Itâs pushing you away.
âIs there anything I can do?â Mingyu hovers around you, not wanting to scare you away. Heâll do whatever you ask him to. âAnything.â
âIâ I just want to be alone.â You walk yourself to the door, too tired to think about how you feel about everything that happened. Too busy to consider anything else. âI have to get ready for tomorrow.â
âRight, itâs tomorrow.â Heâd forgotten about the college thing. Your college thing. He was so busy pretending to mind his own business and hiding from his feelings that he forgot you have your own life too. âYouâre gonna do great.â
âThank youâŠâ Your hand rests on the door handle, hesitating leaving Mingyu after he helped you. âIâll see you tomorrow.â Your lips tight in the best smile you can manage, in an attempt to not seem mad at him.
âWeâll pick you up in the morning.â Mingyu announces, even if he knows you planned to come on your own.
âThereâs no need for that.â You let out a sad, airy chuckle that squeezes Mingyuâs heart.
âNo, Weâllââ he starts, but corrects himself, âIâll pick you up. Itâs not up to discussion. You, focus on resting.â
Mingyu takes the decision for you and opens the door himself, both of you ignoring the tingling at the touch of your hands. A quiet mumble goodbye is all you manage to say before going for the elevator. And Mingyu stays at the door until heâs sure the elevatorâs going down.
The scorching mid-day sun heated the car so much you canât rest against it. A few feet ahead, the guys stand in line at the convenience store at the gas station, with mainly energy drinks in hand and a few sandwiches. After driving the entire morning, everyone collectively decided to stop for a while for a bit of leg stretching and to recharge for more hours of driving.
Itâs been a weird day from the start.
Mingyu picked you up like he promised, and even made sure you didnât dare take an uber to their home by texting you they were on the way too early in the morning. You were about to open the uber app when he texted.
You barely got any sleep during the night, your brain switching from replaying the evening at Jungkookâs place and revising for the presentation. You rested so little, yet the usually soothing hum of the car isnât helping you sleep, choosing to focus on everyoneâs voice.
Since you opened your eyes, after tossing and turning all night, you didnât let yourself think about anything that wasnât the presentation. When to pause, how much to wave your hands in the air. It worked to an extent. But hearing Jungkook sitting by your side making the effort to talk to Cathlyn, who was sitting in the passenger seat while Mingyu was driving, almost made you go insane.
The only reason youâre alone waiting while the rest of them shop is because you insisted. No, you donât need to go to the bathroom. No, you donât want anything specific to eat. No, you donât need to walk it out. Just in need of a little bit of peace. And Jungkook let you be. Heâs been pretending nothing happened the previous night, and youâre glad heâs not forcing you to voice out your thoughts.
The bell above the storeâs door chimes as everyone leaves altogether. Instinctively, you reach for the passengerâs door, as the idea was for Mingyu and Jungkook to switch seats so Mingyu can take a rest from driving, but a voice reaches you before you get the chance to open the car.
âIs it okay if I stay there?â Cathlyn runs over to you with a pack of chips in hand.
âShotgun again?â Jungkook appears behind her, a sly smile on his face before he rounds the car to open the trunk.
She giggles at him but turns her attention back to you when she notices your silence and questioning look. âIâm sorry, I just get really dizzy in the backseat.â
Giving up on reality is easier than fighting it. Youâre not going to be the one to deny the poor girl who just got broken up with. Sure, sit with your best friend, laugh with him and ignore the rest of the world outside your bubble. Who cares? âSure, I donât mind.â
The car is not that small, but with Cathlynâs friend, who you didnât know was coming on the trip until you were in front of the car on the street by your building, you end up between her and Mingyu in the backseat.
Feeling him by your side wakes up flashbacks from the previous night. But if before he was warm and comforting, heâs now rigid in place, looking out the window as the car gets back on the road. You donât know what you expected, or why you feel a hint of disappointment at the pit of your stomach, but thereâs nothing you can really do. You arenât giving him many chances to be friendly with you either.
For a moment, youâre thankful for the cease in conversation, when Jungkook turns up the volume of the radio and random pop hits start entrancing everyone in the car into listening quietly. Cathlyn and her friend, who they call Mel, bob their heads to the song in sync without realizing, and itâs peaceful.
But then, the next song plays, and the two people sitting in the front part of the car collectively gasp. Mingyu shifts on your side, and you know he recognized what they did too.
âThis is the song thatââ Cathlyn starts, but they both laugh before she can finish explaining.
âHe really hated you for that.â The only reason Jungkookâs eyes are on the road is because heâs driving, because if he werenât, youâre sure heâd be laughing his ass off with Cathlyn.
âHe hated me before too!â She slaps his shoulder before erupting into laughter again. âFor no reason may I add.â
All three of you in the backseat just stare at them, listening, waiting for one of them to think of telling the anecdote. Your instincts want nothing more than to look at Mingyu, side eye him for a little help, but you fight them.
âWhat did you do?â Mel asks by your side, trying to get the attention from the party in the front.
âOur history teacher hated her in senior year.â Jungkook looks at Mel through the rear-view mirror. âShe argued with him almost every day.â
âI can see her doing that.â While her friend chuckles at the bit of the story, Cathlyn still doesnât turn around, almost exclusively laughing with Jungkook.
âAnd he threatened to fail me on the last test we had!â
âI keep telling you, thereâs no way he wouldâve done that.â
âIt seemed like a very real threat to me.â
âSo, you had to blast this song outside the classroom?â
âI had to make a show out of it!â
As they keep bickering about their senior year, leaving you out of the fun, the air around you becomes as awkward as ever. Melâs laughing with them, the only one paying real attention to their jabs at each other. Mingyu, on the other hand, looks down as he plays with his fingers. Youâre⊠bored.
The conversation youâre not a part of doesnât interest you, the musicâs no longer loud enough to help you take your mind off everything, and you have at least two more hours of agony.
So you focus on the cars on the road, the ones you pass, the ones that pass you, the grass, the animals, the farms, until your eyes finally close on their own.
â  â  â â â  â â â  â
When you open your eyes again, the carâs slowing down, arriving at the motel thatâll house the five of you for the following days. Itâs still bright outside, but the slightly orange tones in the sky and your stomach growling indicate the beginning of the evening.
A familiar hard surface below your temple holds your head in place. When exactly you fell asleep is the first question that pops up in your head. The second one answers itself quickly.
âWeâre here.â Mingyuâs low voice accompanies his soft grip just above your knee, with a little reminder of the last time it was there.
As you lift your head and stretch your neck until it pops, it hits you. You fell asleep on Mingyuâs shoulder. A whole two hours where you bothered him, again. Made him take care of you, again.
âYou shouldâve woken me up.â Mingyu shakes his head at your intent of an apology, but you interrupt him before he speaks up, âIâm sure you were uncomfortable.â
âReally, I didnât mind.â In the background, Cathlyn and Mel excuse themselves out of the car to look for their room in a rush. âI can wash all the drool off my shirt just fine.â
âI do not drool.â The way he chuckles compels you to join him. Itâs easy, and the first time you even smiled in the day.
The door to the driverâs seat shuts closed with force, and both you and Mingyu scurry to get out of the car as soon as possible.
You donât miss the way Jungkook studies you as he hands each of you your bags from the trunk. Cold as ice, he stays silent when Mingyu excuses himself to find their shared room.
âIf your planâs to make me jealous, thatâs not gonna cut it.â Jungkookâs voice surprises you from behind, and the frown he wears on his face accompanies the angry tone.
âI didnât plan anything.â He doesnât speak to you the whole trip, and now he has the audacity to be mad at you? âBut by the looks of it, whatever you think I did, it clearly worked.â
âAlready looking for a rebound?â He follows behind you to the entrance of the motel.
âJungkook, I donât have time for this.â
You have hours and hours of practice ahead of you, and they might not be enough for your talk to be perfect. He knows the congress is a big deal to you, or at least he should. You canât be thinking about anything else. Not about him. Not about your relationship with him. Not about Mingyu.
âAre you planning to break up with me?â Youâve never heard him talk like this before. He doesnât sound hurt, just angry, jealous.
You scoff. âIf you keep being an asshole, I might.â The answer blurts out without checking with your brain first. He didnât expect you to say something back. You didnât either.
âFine.â Jungkook crosses his arms, waiting for you to say the words youâre not even sure you want to utter. âDo it.â
âLook, I canât deal with this right now.â You take a deep breath, trying to think clearly, to not do anything impulsively. âYouâre mad and Iâm stressed. Itâs not the best time.â
âAre you saying youâll do it tomorrow?â
âWhat? Iâm not saying anything, Jungkook, stop.â Your bagâs heavy on your shoulder as you rack your brain for anything to help you out of this. âWhy donât we take the night off, Iâll practice for tomorrow, you can relax after all the driving, and weâll have a proper talk tomorrow. Okay?â
Jungkook huffs, mumbling something close to a âfine then, byeâ before storming off.
The back of your throat feels dry and hoarse from the hours of speech practice. How to modulate correctly, how to make your voice bigger. It takes a toll on you.Â
When you and your friends planned to do the finishing touches the night before the congress, none of you thought youâd be trapped in a tiny motel room for hours, tweaking the words to seem more professional, timing yourselves to fit in the 15 minute time slot, and even going as far as to plan when and how to look at the screen behind you.
Your stomach growls incessantly. You havenât had anything to eat in hours, besides the simple dinner the three of you had after setting up in your rooms. Seeing every one of you is tired, the girls donât stop you when you get up and leave the room in search of a vending machine.
Somehow, the balcony has better lighting than your hallway, and you spot a big vending machine just outside your hallway. Picking a snack is not hard when your tummy begs for anything, so you grab the random chip bag you picked and begin to head back when you hear a loud thud and a curse coming from the next hallway.
Judging by which hallway youâre walking into, and the sheer size of the person bending over in pain in front of their door, itâs Mingyu.
âAre you okay?â You rush to help him in any way you can.
Mingyuâs head shoots your way and he curses again. âShit, itâs you, hi, yeah.â He grunts in between words and tries to stand up straight. âI closed the door right in my hand. Itâs no big deal, really. Go rest for tomorrow.â
Even from afar, you could see the sweat stains on the back of his sleeveless t-shirt. His shallow breathing and sweat dripping down his hair and face welcome you as you reach him. It's a sight. His skin glistening under the white hallway lights catches your attention a second longer than it should before it goes back to the cause of his pain.
âYouâre bleeding!â Taking a closer look at the hand heâs holding, you see a growing red bubble right under the ring fingerâs nail. âLetâs get you inside.â
âYou donât have toââ
âShut up and go put your hand under running cold water.â After heâs helped you so many times, the least you can do is google what to do when someone has a bubble of blood growing under their nail.
The empty room catches your attention as you read the quick answers your search pulled up. âJungkookâs not here?â
Looking over to the open bathroom door, Mingyuâs hand is under the running tap like you instructed, but heâs staring at you with an indecipherable look in his eyes. He must know about the fight you two had.
âHe went out with some friends that came here too.â He answers before giving up and drying his hand. âItâs not clearing out.â
You should be used to him sitting closely by your side. Your breath shouldnât quicken and your hands shouldnât sweat as the bed creaks below him. Actually, you need to stop getting into situations where Mingyu needs to sit beside you. But you canât help it.
Maybe focusing on his minor injury can help your body relax. âOkay, so, google says it should go away on its own in like⊠two or three days.â Even if thereâs so many questions you have for him that you avoided all day, itâs not the time.
âI'll have to stay with a blood bubble on my finger for days?â His threatening pout lifts your mood quickly.
You chuckle, taking his hand in yours once again. âDoes it hurt?â Mingyu shakes his head with a small smile growing in his face, letting you have your way.
Now that heâs calmer than when you found him outside, his fingers relax in your hold as you look for any bruises. His hand that held you and comforted you one too many times, now being taken care of by you. Rushes of warm blood follow where your skin meets his, even the lightest of touches aren't free of his effect on you.
âWhy didnât you go with them?â Your mouth betrays you once again, voicing out your thoughts instead of getting through the silence. âYour friends.â
âDidnât feel like it.â His answer is simple. And you wish it was enough to satiate your curiosity, but you simply can't stop asking questions.
âNothing more?â You don't know what you expect him to answer. Maybe you're just looking for excuses to keep talking to him, to stay in the momentary bubble that surrounds you every time youâre with him.
âI haven't been⊠liking him much lately.â
Mingyu's careful with his choice of words. Still believing itâs not his place to talk about what goes on in Jungkookâs life, he canât not be honest with you, not when youâre so close to him heâs sure you can read every expression on his face.
A drop of sweat drips down the side of his face, training your eyes to follow its way down until it dampens the side of his mouth.
âYou're best friends.â A remainder, more to yourself than to him.
âDoesn't mean I have to agree with everything he does.â
Mingyu hopes you understand the meaning behind his words.
You hope he doesn't notice the way your eyes stayed too long on his moving lips before going back to his eyes.
You both hope for things you can't voice out, charging the little space between your stares with electricity. With his hand forgotten in your hold, reading his expression becomes your main task.
None of you dare move, and you know, somehow, that he's waiting for you to do something âanything. What you don't know is what you want.
Your phone chimes in your back pocket just when you part your lips to speak. There's a millisecond, barely noticeable to anyone who wasn't watching Mingyu's gaze closely, where his eyes drift down your face. With your lips dry at his attention, you break the spell, letting go of his hand to reach for your phone.
Nayeon asks where you disappeared to, and sends a long chain of suspecting emojis when you tell her who youâre with.
âIâI have to get back.â Getting up from the weak motel bed in a flash, Mingyu's eyes follow you to the door. âSorry for taking up your time.â
âYou gotta stop with that.â He stops you in your tracks, with a soft grip on your wrist to turn you back to him.
âStop talking like you're a bother.â He doesn't let you dismiss him. âYou don't bother me. I wouldn't spend time with you if you did.â
âYou didn't use to like me. And now you pity me, that's why you spend time with me.â Even if you'd like to believe otherwise.
âThat's not true.â He doesn't let go of you, and you stop aiming to get out the door. âI don't pity you.â
âYou never talked to me until you caught me crying that day.â Your head tilts, trying not to seem so serious with your counter argument.
Another text comes through your phone. You shouldn't be wasting time on such an important night. But is it really wasted time if you're spending it with him?
âIt wasn't about you.â Mingyu reveals, but it doesn't really clear up your doubts. âI don't like getting to know people I'm not sure will stick around.â
âSo, it's true.â You bring your arm out of his grip, a way to protect yourself. âI wasn't supposed to last this long.â
âLook. It's not my place, and I've already gotten too involved.â Mingyu's words fly over you, choosing not to overthink what he means. âJungkook's shit is Jungkookâs shit, but you can decide what to do too. Don't wait for him to make a decision for you.â
âI'm capable of making my own decisions, Mingyu.â You say, convinced but weary of his tone.
âI know you are. He doesn't.â
The silence is striking, breathtaking, heartstopping. Words don't come up in your brain, an infinite echo of Mingyu's remark rendering you incapable of following a simple order.
âSee you tomorrow.â You can only offer him a small smile before finally leaving the room full of him.
The applause almost breaks you down. You can finally take a deep breath. The thing youâve been preparing for weeks, taking up most of your sleep time and raising the bar for how much stress you can handle, is finally done.
Well, not completely. Your speech is done, yes, but the time for questions begins. Jennie and Nayeon answer everything swiftly as your eyes scan the room for any known faces. You finished the presentation and you can barely catch your breath as your heart tries to slow down, so they take on the most annoying part of the job.
From across the room, behind the people eager to ask their questions with their hands in the air or attentively listen to your friendsâ responses, the tall man only looking at you makes your heart stop.
Was he there the whole time? When you speak in a room full of people, you tend to disappear into your own mind, barely registering what surrounds you until your timeâs up. He could've just got here, but deep down you know he didnât. Deep down, you know heâs been there since the start, supporting you without your knowledge.
As a hand on your shoulder starts gently dragging you away from the stand, splitting the way between your connected stares, a sense of accomplishment washes over you. You're done, you can carry on with your life.Â
In the hallway just outside where you just spent the most stressful hours of your life, you can hear the next group beginning their presentation, one that luckily youâre not required to be present for. Perks of being in the line up.
Getting out the other door, Mingyu searches for you and finds you walking over to him with the biggest smile adorning your face.
âWhat did you think?â Your friendsâ giggles make it to your ears from behind. Merging the constant teasing youâre the victim of with their infatuation with Mingyu is dangerous, but there really is only one thing in your mind now.
âYou talked really well.â The highlight of every word as his eyebrows wiggle with confusion lights a warmth in your belly that spreads across your body into a chuckle.
âYou didnât understand a thing, did you?âÂ
âI didnât.â Itâs his chuckle, and his smile, and his eyes glimmering, and his chin tilted down to get a better look at you.
Have you ever felt this way before? Easy under someoneâs gaze, unafraid of making them feel less intelligent. Heâs⊠genuinely happy for you. Out of all the presentations in the schedule, your subject matter was the least close to his field, yet he chose to listen to your sociology lesson.
âThank you for coming.â You say before the magic fades. âYouâyou didnât have to.â
âI didnât want to miss it.â Heâs the most genuine he can possibly be.
Mingyu undoubtedly, and selfishly, cares about you. From the sidelines, he saw you getting the opportunity, the toll the preparations were taking on you. He wasnât going to skip one of the biggest moments of your life after seeing you struggle for so long.
âThat makes one of you.â You donât mean it to sound as spiteful, but the sour taste in your mouth as you realize who isnât present triggers the resentful tone. âAnyway, Iâm not gonna let some asshole ruin my day! Weâre going to celebrate with the girls and some guys I have no idea how they managed to make friends with, do you want to come?â
Mingyu doesn't think about what you mean behind your invitation. âSure, if you want me there.â Heâd jump at any chance he got to spend time with you.Â
Ever since that night at the pool bar, Mingyu never forgot your willingness to not let one bad moment overshadow an otherwise enjoyable day. A quality he could learn from. Thatâs why, he also canât forget about the moments he comforted you, when everything became so overwhelming you had no choice but to let it all out.
âLetâs go then!â Your hand aims to stretch back for him to take, but the little angel on your shoulder wins this round, and you just walk out the hall with Mingyu following you, hand hanging cold by your side.
The evening sky greets you on the outside world, and the fresh air filling your lungs after being trapped inside the suffocating new college is very welcomed by your body.
Following your friends wherever they go, letting them choose which bar or club to go celebrate, you can only smile and silently walk behind them. Mingyuâs towering presence occupies the space to your right. Heâs also silent, admiring the new city, letting you have the unspeaking moment you need.
Itâs not long before youâre getting into a club with flashing colored lights and loud pop music coming out of the speakers. The sense of accomplishment embodies you whole. One less thing to worry about, one less thing weighing you down. You won't let anyone take the freedom from you.
Itâs a carefree night. You let yourself be dragged to the packed dance floor, your friends leading the way amidst all the bodies crowding as they dance out of sync.
Being drunk could never compare to the happiness you feel as you join everyone dancing. You allow the music to take over you, with your hips and limbs coordinating to the rhythm of each song playing, blending into the sea of people.
You don't know when, you don't care how, and with no will to stop, you and Mingyu drift towards each other, the little space and dim atmosphere making it easy to hide everything wrong with what you're doing.
âYou're happy.â Mingyu leans down to say to your ear. The only way you could hear him over all the noise.
âI am!â You don't fight the smile growing in your lips, focusing on the way Mingyu's eyes scan your face under the blue lights.
This time, the battle between the little angel and the devil dictating your choices ends with the victory of the mischievous voice that tells you to inch closer to Mingyu.
With the excuse of the loud music, you stand on your tiptoes to reach the side of his face, your lips grazing his ear as you say, âI'm glad you came.â
His hands steady you in place before you lose your balance, holding onto your hips and keeping you in place.
You should swat his hands away. He should stand back from the girl who isn't his. The tension sizzles from the tip of his fingers barely dipping into a bit of uncovered skin and up your body until your chest tightens.
âI'm sure you'd want someone else here.â Even with the scandalous meaning behind his words, you don't ignore the light teasing tone he purposely uses.
âI'm not thinking about him right now.â His eyes search for yours, finding only truth in them.
The people surrounding you, unscrupulously dancing against each other and paying you no mind, sway your bodies from side to side. Neither of you make a move to separate, letting the pushing crowd be the excuse for your closeness. You have the urge to wrap your arms around his neck, but you fight it. Maybe if he was something else, you would.
But the universe would never let you be this careless without some karma waiting for you.
When your gaze reluctantly disconnects from Mingyu's in search for your friends, the sight of two familiar people catches your attention a few meters to the side. You should've known he was with her. That he'd choose her over you even for this.
They're just dancing, and you can't complain about it because you're currently in the arms of another man too. It's just⊠different.Â
Your hands find Mingyu's still on your sides, grabbing them softly to get them off you as your eyes go from the scene you just witnessed to him and then back. Of course, he gets it immediately.
âI can talk to him.â Mingyu has this instinct now, to shield you from having a bad time.
âNo, I'll do it. I have a few things in mind to say.â While you appreciate him wanting to help, itâs something you have to do on your own. You canât shield behind Mingyu any longer.
Making the sacrifice of looking like a psychotic girlfriend, the adrenaline moves your legs forward, no time to think further about what youâre about to do. They donât see you coming, they probably didnât even see you with Mingyu before, too sucked into their bubble to notice other people.
âJungkook.â His shocked expression just confirms your theory. He notices youâre mad quickly, but the wheels turning in his mind, failing to find the reason for your anger, are so visible you canât control your mouth. âGlad to see youâre having fun.â
âHi, babe! I didnâtâsee you come in!â He leans into the wall behind him for support, body as stiff as ever. âHaving a good time?â
âAre you kidding me?â Admittedly, youâre raising your voice a few decibels over the necessary amount, but youâve never cared less about drawing attention than at this moment. âYou really forgot, huh?â
Only then, Jungkook realizes he messed up. Itâs not normal to see you angry, especially not at him. âLetâs talk outside, okay? Itâs quieter.â
You catch his eyes going back to Cathlyn before he places a hand on your lower back to direct you to the door. Astonishing, really.
âYou could make it less obvious, at least.â The harsh cold night wind slaps you even more awake. âIâm not stupid, Jungkook.â
Youâre not dressed to be standing outside on the street at this hour. The cityâs too windy, making you shiver as if it was the middle of winter. You donât want to look weak in Jungkookâs eyes, you need to look like you stand your ground. The cold is a mental state anyway, you can fight it.
âYouâre not, babe, but what are you talking about? What are you doing here?â His cluelessness does everything but help his situation.
âWeâre celebrating that our presentation was a success.â At the news, everything clicks in Jungkookâs mind.
âIt was today.â Jungkook reminds himself out loud.
âOf course it was today! Why else do you think we drove all this way?â He has to be a special kind of disengaged and disinterested to selectively wipe his memory like this, you think.
âIâm sorry, baby! So much happened today, and I thought you didnât want to see me after last night.â
âDonât use one fight as an excuse. You forgot or you didnât care. Either way, this was important to me and you didnât come.â
People passing you on the street side eye the scene youâre making. Jungkook seems to care about being judged, taking in account the way his eyes widen at every raise of your voice.
At his silence, you keep going. âWhat did Cathlyn fucking need this time? What could have possibly been more important than your girlfriend?â It feels pathetic to call yourself that.
âYou have to understand,â his voice becomes tense at the utterance of her name, âsheâs my best friend. She means everything to me.â
Youâre positive sheâs listening to all of this. Hiding behind the clubâs door waiting for the chance to come out and comfort her oh so dear best friend. Itâs not her fault, but itâs hard not to grow an ill feeling thinking about her.
âDonât I mean anything? Why get into a relationship with me if you wonât take it seriously? If youâre in love with someone else?â
Itâs hard to form an articulated sentence when the anger and the sadness spar in your mind. Itâs hard not to feel desperate, a pitiful attempt at making a careless man care about you.
Your gaze trains on the floor, tuning out Jungkookâs lame excuses and not truthful apologies. Without looking at him, and with only the grey sidewalk on sight, itâs like you can think clearly for the first time.
âIâm sorry, baby, I promise Iâll make it up to you.â Itâs just a moment where you let his words register, and itâs the last thing you need to decide.
âNo. You wonât.â
Jungkook shuts up instantly. Your gaze doesnât falter this time, locking into his with your best poker face. You can see every thought passing through his mind, every little reaction he fights to show. He analyzes your expression, looking for another meaning, for any sign that you donât mean what you said.
âI promise I will, baby, câmon.â
The thing is, after so many promises, those words coming out of his mouth become meaningless. Theyâre just empty words he uses to get you to forgive him, heâs not being truthful, heâs just begging so he can feel better with himself.
âNo! You wonât! That was your last chance.â It gets clearer and clearer to him what youâre saying.
You shouldn't have been silently enduring the scraps of his attention he was giving you. Waiting for your growing feelings to be reciprocated by someone who doesnât respect you. Those feelings, however big or small âyouâre not sure, quickly started dissipating at the realization that he simply didnât care. It wasnât his memory, or his busy schedule, it was the lack of intention. Care and intention he always showed to someone else.
âBabeâŠâ He sounds like he gave up too, one last pity attempt you know he doesnât mean.
âWeâre done. You never wanted to be with me, and I certainly donât want to be with you anymore.â
When you start walking away, Jungkook doesnât stop you, standing where you left him with his eyes lost to the ghostly street.
Realizing the burden heâs been on your life and letting it go finally lets you see clearly. Your night mightâve been ruined, but youâre liberated from that pain. Youâre not happy, but youâre not sad either, just walking forward, a new future ahead.
Youâve walked almost two whole blocks, the motel a half block away, when the sound of rushed steps chasing you alerts you. You didnât think anyone would be coming after you, but you realize who it is right when the figure appears in your line of sight.
âAre you okay?â Mingyuâs breathless, slowing his pace to match yours. He definitely heard everything that happened.
âYeah, I think so.â Even if you sound convinced, he stays walking with you.
âIâll walk you inside.â He doesnât look back, deciding on what to do. But you know he should be making sure his friend is okay. You guess he is, though.
âI'll be fine. You can stay withââ
âI want to make sure youâre okay.â Mingyu interrupts you before you can say the otherâs name. âI don't care about him right now.â
Your heart stops for a moment before your brain catches up. All those times Jungkook left you and Mingyu came right to the rescue, when he got annoyed at them in the pool bar, or admitting he didnât like what Jungkook was âchoosingâ. Of course he has to know how his best friend and roommate feels about everyone.
âYou knew it all this time.â He doesnât look at you, staring at the distance as he listens closely. âThat heâs in love with her.â
âI didn't want to be the one to tell you.â
Your room doorâs just one step away now, but you still stop in your tracks at his words. You never thought of his silence as his way to shield you from the truth. You never thought that the initial pity he took on you âeven if he denies it, came from a place of hiding something from you.
âHe was in love with somebody else while being with me! Thatâs the kind of thing you need to tell me!â Luckily, the hallway is completely deserted at this hour. You wouldnât want to make another scene. Youâre more aware of everything now, free but raw, as if anything could scar you.
âIt wasn't my place!â For a second you understand Mingyu. Imagining him even implying it hurts more than realizing the truth yourself. But it still hurts. You trusted him with your most vulnerable moments, and all that time he hid that he knew the real cause for that pain. âAnd don't act like you didn't know it too.â
Mingyuâs harsh comment feels like a punch in the gut. Thereâs no malice in his tone, youâve come to know him and his tendency to be too direct sometimes, it was just unexpected this time.
But he is right. There were signs everywhere for you to see, signs you turned a blind eye to. It was a thought that often crossed the back of your mind, but you dismissed it before you could think about it further. You were stupid to think you were paranoid and it meant nothing.
âStop.â You realize you weren't looking at him and shoot your gaze up. âI know what youâre thinking. Donât blame yourself. Heâs the asshole and youâre not at fault for believing him.â
âBut I shouldnât have. I thought I was smarter than that, turns out Iâm just dumb.â You want to curl up in bed, hide from the judging outside world and forget all about Jungkook and the past few weeks. But not all of it.
âHeâs the dumb one for not seeing how great you are.â Mingyu's hand on your shoulder manages to comfort you enough to hold off on the tears. âAre you okay? About breaking it off?â
âI know it was the right choice for me. But I have to assimilate it, I think. Sleep it offâ
Mingyu nods in acknowledgement as your hand reaches for the doorknob. As if that was your way of ending the conversation, he turns his body to head out the grimy hallway, because he knows whatâs next. Youâll cut off everything related to your now ex, a pack of memories in which he himself is included. This is why he shouldnât have gotten involved with you. Thereâs no way youâll want to be in touch with him after everything.
âMingyu.â Itâs your voice that makes him turn around. Even considering how heartbroken you must be, thereâs a slight grin on your face as you think about what to say next. âI didnât say I wanted to be alone.â
His heart accelerates as if it was miles ahead of the thought process his brain is having a hard time catching up with. Still, beyond whatever he wants and feels, he knows you need some time to think clearly, someone to be there for you regardless of feelings.
At his hesitation, you open the door and look back at him as you enter. Itâs a clear invitation, one he accepts immediately.
After closing the door behind him, the unmade bed calls his name and he sits at the edge to take his shoes off as you begin your night routine in front of the bathroom mirror.
âIâm curious about something.â You look cute smothering moisturizing cream all across your face, Mingyu thinks. âDo you think she likes him back?â
He finds it in himself to chuckle. âDo you really want to talk about that right now?â
âLook, I wonât be sad about it if I can turn it into a gossip session later. Itâs my way of getting over things, so please just indulge me this time.â
Youâre looking at him as you tap your face with the pads of your fingers. Mingyu doesnât see an ounce of sadness in your expression, instead, youâre very serious with what youâre asking. And he wonât argue with that logic, if thatâs what it takes to help you forget and spend more time with you.
âShe never told me anything.â Your half closed eyes and head turned to the side signal Mingyu to keep talking. âIf he confessed, I think she could like him back. They already act like a couple anyway.â
Mingyu realizes he went too far. You donât say anything, but your shoulders slouch before you grab your pajamas from the nightstand and lock yourself in the bathroom. That was definitely not what you wanted to hear. Shit.
âI hope they can finally realize theyâre idiots.â When the door opens to reveal the loose but all too revealing clothes barely covering your body, Mingyu can almost hear all the air in his lungs escaping at once. âAre you getting in bed?â
Maybe itâs his mind playing sick games with him. You canât possibly be asking him to slip under the covers with you and be calm about it. Thereâs a lot of things he can calmly face up to. The idea of laying down so close to the person whoâs been making a mess of his every thought is not one of those.Â
Still, he follows suit with your not so indirect invite. He doesnât want to make assumptions about you, about the situation, or about what you want, so he lets you take the lead for tonight. Trusting that youâll show him what you need and believing that he can give it to you.
The both of you lay awkwardly side by side, facing the ceiling deep in thought. Only the breathing sounds and the way your arm grazes against his keep Mingyuâs senses in check. He feels like a highschooler having his first conversation with his crush. He can no longer be the cool, calm self he praised himself to be. So, he resorts to silence.
âWas he always like that? Ending relationships after realizing itâs not what he wants?â You turn in your place, facing him with those doe eyes of yours that always make him fold.
âIf it makes you feel any better, I think itâs the girls that break up with him.â He mirrors your position, feeling better at the entire situation when he sees your smile at his comment.
âGood for them.â
Thereâs something in your gaze that makes Mingyu question if itâs worth it to be loyal to his friend. Though that moral code mustâve been broken already, thereâs still a line, no matter how thin, he hasnât crossed yet. Emphasis on âheâ, because he can never be sure whatâs your next move.
âAre you sure youâre okay?â He dares to ask again.
Mingyuâs hyper aware of how close you are. How you shift a bit closer to him as you think your answer. He thought the clothes he was wearing were okay to sleep in, but his bodily temperature keeps rising at the thought of you.
âI still feel a bit stupid.â He canât stand hearing you talk about yourself like that, but he doesnât get to argue. You shut his mouth closed, placing your index finger on the center of his lips before he can utter a word. A touch so innocent he immediately feels bad at how electrifying it felt. âMy friends warned me that his relationships never lasted. And I guess I wanted to see it for myself. Have the empirical data, if you will.â
He sees your gaze go down from his eyes, and your hand goes down with it to whatever caught your attention. He swallows hard, waiting for just one signal. The chain around his neck tugs at the back, and he realizes youâre inspecting the little charm hanging from it.
âItâs not like I was in love with him.â Every word you say feels like fire on his end. âHe was fun at first. Thatâs what I liked about him.â
You play with Mingyuâs chain like itâs second nature. Like you donât realize your handïżœïżœïżœs dangerously close to his chest, about to feel the beating of his heart growing stronger each second.
âIâm sorry I didnât tell you.â That makes your eyes go up again, eyelashes fluttering so close he could count each one of them.
âI get why you didnât, youâre a good friend. And I think it was better for me to realize on my own, if that makes you feel any better.â The smile that grows on him matches yours perfectly.
âI donât know how much of a good friend I am anymore.â The honesty slips out of him under your scanning stare. âIâm here after all, arenât I?â
Mingyu should feel guilty. He left the bar to go after you without so much of a second thought, leaving his supposed best friend to deal with everything on his own. Thatâs how much he cares about you. His need for you overflows into every area of his life, making the guilt disappear into the stream of things that donât matter. Youâre not taken anymore. And, deep down, he knows Jungkookâs going to be fine. He doesnât care about you even a fraction of how much Mingyu does.
Heâs still deep in thought when he feels your hand going up the side of his jaw. Your icy fingers contrast against his fiery skin, driving him to lean into your touch. Heâd close his eyes and let you do anything you wanted if it wasnât for the intoxicating force of your gaze.
The irrational part of his brain doesnât let him stop you as your face gets closer so his. Youâre slowly testing the waters, seeing if heâll back down, but Mingyuâs quicker, and leans down the last millimeters to finally connect.
Your lips melt against his with a soft sigh, and everything stills for a moment. Enveloped with the tenderness of your touch, he feels you hazily pressing further against him, unsurely yearning for more.
But the rational part of his brain, the one that tugs on the last strand of morale he has, retrieves his head from your electrifying kiss.
âWe shouldnâtââ Mingyu regrets it instantly at the sight of your saddened eyes. But he knows itâs for the best. He couldnât live with himself if you werenât sure.
âYou donât want to?â The way your hand flies away from his personal space almost makes him take it and put it back where it belongs.
âI do.â He sounds desperate. He needs you to understand. âBut you should see how you feel when you have a clear mind.â
A thousand thoughts rush through your mind, visibly turning your expression soft again. Mingyu offers his arm for you to lay on, the most outlandish peace offering he can make without losing his mind first.
âOkay.â Your soft voice reverberates up his arm as you lay your head on his relaxed bicep. âDo you want to leave?â
He couldn't begin to imagine any dimension in the multiverse where he'd choose to stay away from the featheriness of your skin against his. âDo you want me to leave?â
âI asked you first.â Your light chuckle heals the worry beginning to creep up on Mingyu. In the future, he'll make sure you never doubt him again.
âI don't want to leave.â
The way your smile keeps making a blank slate of his brain should worry Mingyu. But he's never felt this way before, and if there's a chance, however big or small, that you could feel the same way, he won't go back.
âAnd I want you to stay.â
The morning sun rays bleed through the flimsy curtain, illuminating the otherwise plain motel room in a golden light. You feel warm all around, wrapped in Mingyuâs arms instead of the bedsheets that sometime along the night seem to have fallen to the floor.
But even in the confinement of Mingyuâs backhug, you feel free. What has been dragging your spirit through the floor finally cut from your life. The previous nightâs events faded to a distant memory as soon as you laid your head in Mingyuâs chest and drifted to the best sleep youâve had in weeks.
You donât dare turn in his hold, afraid to wake him up and make him face the day. Thatâs the one thing you havenât been able to dust off since you opened your eyes. The guilt.
Maybe for you, cutting Jungkook out of your life was the best decision, but Mingyu was his friend first, and last night, for whatever reason, he chose you. He chose to comfort the whiny girl that dumped his boyfriend instead of his best friend since they were in the womb.
The morning with him feels like sunrises on the beach, like a warm cup of coffee on the coldest day, like being trapped in an infinite bear hug. It feels like hope. And the guilt from wanting it all could consume you whole just like the need for him.
Mingyu must have mind reading superpowers, because his arms tighten around you before the guilt overwhelms you, easily forgetting it all at the feeling of his breath on your neck.
Neither of you say anything, sharing the comfortable silence, relishing being in each otherâs arms. You donât stop him when he tangles his legs with yours, feeling him everywhere from head to toe. You let your hands caress his forearms as they drift dangerously close to your lower belly.
Itâs wrong. Itâs definitely wrong on some moral level. Borderline evil even. Itâs too soon, and you need to understand what youâre feeling before moving forward with whatever this is. This that feels so nice, so right, but so wrong.
Mingyu doesnât seem to be having the same moral dilemma thatâs running around your mind anymore. The hardness you feel pressing against your inner thigh followed by a gasp that spreads goosebumps all across your back confirming your theory.
In the morning haze, in the limbo between days where time doesnât run and actions donât have consequences, you give into his infectious desire. The agreement you made the night before flying out the window as soon as a fire ignites all across your body.
You purposely grind against him, the indecent action causing your face to feel even warmer. A low moan gets caught in Mingyuâs throat at the feeling of your ass against his morning wood, one hand gripping your hip to keep you in place.
âWhat are you doing?â His raspy voice sends another fire down your body, making you squirm in his grip.
âNothing.â You feign innocence, pretending to straighten your posture but ultimately pressing yourself harder against his chest. âYou don't like it?â
The space between your bodies is crushed impossibly tighter until all you can feel are his muscles tensing in his search for you. The barrier you left standing the night before, demolished with little care as he sighs to your ear.
âIt's not that, princess,â every bit of skin Mingyu touches works like a button to make you need him more and more, âwe should wait.â
You'd agree with him if it wasn't for the elastic of your sleeping shorts stretching to fit his wandering hand. Itâs a timid action, one that contradicts his words but only gets encouraged by your gasp. These arenât the hands that held you close when you were broken, no, these are the ones that felt you shiver pretending to teach you to play pool, the ones that pushed you against him in the dimness of the club. The ones you crave with your whole body.
At your reaction, he drifts further down, playing with the hem of your panties so painfully slow the grip of your hand on his forearm grows stronger with each second he doesn't fully touch you. His lips graze your shoulder, trying to contain himself from kissing every inch he can reach.
When he flattens on your pelvis, pressing you against his faltering hips, you swear your whimper drives him to not so innocently thrust behind you. The room is impossibly hot, but you donât care, nothing matters other than your need to feel him inside.
Your mouth opens, hoping to work enough to plead for him, but a loud knock on your door startles you both out of the embrace.
If the earth itâs going to swallow you at any point in life, you hope itâs right then and there. Your panties are uncomfortably sticky as your embarrassed gaze connects with Mingyu, the both of you speechless with guilt. The most awkward second ever before another knock echoes into the room.
âTell Jennie Iâll be out in a second? I promised her weâd go out for breakfast together.â
The embarrassment doesnât let you look at him a second longer before you lock yourself in the bathroom. Maybe a splash of cold water on your face can help you not look like you just got cockblocked.
â  â  â â â  â â â  â
However Mingyu thought his morning would go, the reality was far from his imagination, though it felt far better. He wouldn't mind waking up next to you again, heating up your skin with his touch until you whimper for him.
The sight of you, just woken up and shy at the boldness of what you just did, puts a sheepish smirk on his face. He almost forgets the wrongness of everything. But the decision he made, selfish and long forgotten, quickly comes back to bite him in the ass as he opens the door.
âWow, this is a nice sight!â Jungkook's face morphs into sarcastic shock as the door reveals a disheveled Mingyu.
âWhat are you doing here?â In all honesty, Mingyu didnât think about his friend last night, deep down knowing he wasnât going to be hurt for long.
âAre you her bodyguard now? I just want to talk about last night.â Jungkook attempts to take half a step into your room, but Mingyu immediately blocks the door.
âItâs not the time to get in my way, man.â The baseless threat doesnât make Mingyu budge in the slightest, which pisses Jungkook off. The manâs eyes widen after scanning the state of the room. âDid you fuck her?â
âWhat?â Mingyu can't believe what he's hearing.Â
âI asked, Did. You. Fuck. Her?â Speaking each word with clenched teeth, Jungkook's voice bleeds anger.
âWhy do you care?â
Jungkook barely lets him finish his question. âSo you fucked her.â
The crude language puts a bitter taste in Mingyu's mouth. As if only the sex mattered and not everything else. Not that he comforted you at your weakest, that you opened up your heart to him, that you kissed him so softly he almost passed out. Mingyu can only hope the bathroom door miraculously becomes soundproof.
âDon't pretend to care about her now.â Never in his life has he talked to Jungkook this way, always afraid of what could happen to their friendship if he tried to put some sense into him. Then again, his actions never hurt someone Mingyu actually cared about.
âI bet you couldnât wait for me to dump her.â The words spit out of Jungkookâs mouth like acid. âEager to take on my leftovers.â
âDude, I get that you're mad, but you're getting out of line.â The peacemaker in Mingyu takes over âitâs either that or a punch in the face, and tries to get his friend back in the hallway.
âIâm not mad!â He gasps with a hand to his chest. âJust shocked, that's all. Didnât even let a day pass.â Venom coats every word he says, justifiably betrayed by the one friend he thought he could always count with.
âI didnât mean for it to come to this,â Mingyu admits quietly, âI wasnât supposed to care.â
Thereâs nothing as Jungkook processes those words. A tense second that becomes an infinite one, a void sucking every apology out of his mouth. Mingyu would pay millions to know whatâs going on in his friendâs head. He could always tell what he was feeling even when he shut everyone off. But he was never the one causing his anger.
âI can gââ
âIâll take the bus home with Cathy.â Is all Jungkook says.
His blank face waits for Mingyu to nod before walking away with no second thoughts. Out of the million outcomes he thought for this conversation, Mingyu never thought heâd be the one left speechless. But they both clearly need some time alone before going back to being roommates, before talking like two grown adults and resolving this.
Itâs the sound of a door closing just meters behind him that takes him back to the room, your room.
Mingyu doesnât know what to do to shield you from the hurt. Heâs tired of simply being there to comfort you in the aftermath. He canât stand the sight before him, your lips turn downwards trying to get a hold of your feelings. He can see it all, the process of all the emotions going through your brain, until your face settles to a serious expression.
âIâm sorry you had to hear that.â Mingyu stays at the threshold of the door, not sure if youâd still want him as company.
âDonât be. Iâm glad I did.â You stay put in place, half a step from the messy bed, looking everywhere but at him. âAt least I donât have to feel guilty anymore.â
Guilt. Thatâs what he noticed when he gained consciousness and felt you tense in his hold. âAbout what happened earlierââ
âIâm sorry about that,â you interrupt him in his hesitation, âyou said you didnât want to and I crossed the line.â
âItâs notââ Your lips part in surprise as your eyes fly to his. âIâshit, I donât want you to think Iâm only being nice for something in return.â
âYou should be glad I donât think of you that way.â Itâs a weird feel of rejection, the one in your heart as you start picking up your things. A man says he doesnât want to have sex after rubbing himself against you and fighting with your ex boyfriend. âWe should pack, get ready to leave.â
âWhat do you think of me then?â
Mingyu standing leaning against the doorframe, following your every move with his eyes, makes you stumble upon every possible obstacle on your way. Even with your gaze elsewhere, you can feel him watching your every move.
âI think youâre a good man that lacks a sense of urgency.â Unfortunately, you didnât bring much stuff on the trip, and youâre getting to the end of things to take your mind off of Mingyu. âAre you going to stare at me all day?â
âI like you.â Mingyuâs sure about a lot of things, but at the weight lifting from his shoulders, the way you stop at his words and how you wait for him to continue, heâs certain heâs never felt like this before. âIâm sorry if that's weird and wrong to say, but I do.â
âIââ Thereâs no way to describe it, how your mind clears of any reasonable thought the second those words escape Mingyuâs lips.
âYou donât have to say anything. Like I said last night, I want you to figure out how you feel on your own time. Iâll be here, you can count on me. Iâm not going anywhere.â
His assurance helps. He somehow always knows how to help you, what to say, how to act.
Before you know it, youâre face to face with him, his warmth embracing you as he tilts his head down, waiting for your next move. Your cheek lays softly on his chest after wrapping your arms around him, hugging him tightly, the only way you have to express your gratitude.
Warm air effortlessly fills your lungs, the scent of him coating every one of your senses as he replicates your hug. His arms feel right around you, as if you were meant to be like this forever, and you relax in his hold.
âThank you.â Two simple words that mean so much more are the only thing you manage to utter, hoping he'll understand.Â
âAlways.â
Some girls my friends met at the congress came to town and begged for us to take them to a club Do you want to come? Itâs close to my place
As soon as you press send, you throw your phone at your bed on the other side of the room.
Itâs been two weeks since the most eventful weekend of your life. Two weeks since you finally stood up for yourself and chose your well being for once. Two weeks since Mingyu started being one of the most important parts of your everyday life.
Those afternoons when he made you wonder if you actually fit in his friendâs life, when the thought of him would cause you an immediate headache, feel like a ghost of the past. You couldnât imagine not being around him now, not receiving his ominous texts in the middle of the night after he finishes a random project for college that you donât understand, or not seeing his face after class when he picks you up and rambles about how good his class was that day.
He promised heâd be there for you, waiting for you to see how you feel about him without expecting anything in return. And every day that passes, the hurt and confusion fades away bit by bit, and a new, stronger, unexplored, feeling grows in your heart.
You donât know what compelled you to invite Mingyu out of nowhere. Youâre fully dressed, about to leave and with your friends already waiting on your buildingâs front door, but something at the back of your mind itched with a potent need to see him. Your fingers clicked on his contact and texted him before you could realize what you were doing.
Itâs not two minutes later that your phone vibrates with a new notification. Your skin crawls with the combined anxiety of wanting to see him but also not wanting to see him at all. The usual two feelings that fight to take over every time you think of him.
Youâre quick to run out your apartment before your friends come up and drag you out themselves. With your unlocked phone in hand, Mingyuâs name lights up your screen.
Sure. Text me address. Iâll meet you there.
The simplicity of his texts always makes you chuckle, embarrassingly smitten by his short sentences. You quickly text him the name and address before hopping off the elevator and joining your friends in the cold weather in which youâre not meant to be wearing the club clothing you chose.
Youâd be a liar if you didnât admit you were nervous to see Mingyu. The change came without warning. After getting used to him checking up on you, learning your coffee order and your class schedule, the anticipation started taking over you. Your eyes look for him around campus, your feet flee out of your classroom knowing heâs going to be there waiting for you.
You try to distract yourself when you get too in your mind about it, about him. Itâs a difficult new kind of occurrence youâre not sure how to navigate, so you resort to acting nonchalant about it. Thatâs why, when he arrives and your friends make eyes at you, you donât let the subject go further than admitting you invited him. Itâs a normal thing for people to invite their friends to hang out!
But no matter how hard you try, your eyes donât stop wandering to the bar, where Mingyuâs forgotten his quest to get another round of drinks and is talking to the most graceful and gorgeous woman alive.
Of course, Mingyu chose tonight of all nights to look like a prince coming to the rescue. A fitted black shirt that even with the lack of light inside the club managed to highlight his build. You almost fainted when he locked eyes with you across the room and smiled walking all the way to you.
And youâd caught that girlâs eyes glued to him when he first entered the club and greeted you all. As soon as he took one step away from you to walk to the bar, the girl unhooked herself from your group and followed him.Â
âI wonder whatâs taking so long with the drinks," Youâre barely processing your words as they leave your mouth. As if you havenât been policing the interaction since it started.
âYeah, did heâŠâ Jennieâs voice trails out before she can finish, following the line of sight you basically burned in the air after so many stares. A small smirk flashes through her before she mumbles, âOh.â
Now thereâs four more pairs of eyes witnessing why youâre making a fool out of yourself.
âGuess he found something else to do.â Still digging your own grave, you canât stop making stupid comments.
Jennie and Nayeon exchange a look youâre too busy to catch, while you make sure your empty drink is still⊠empty. Yeah, the very interesting plastic cup in your hand. Definitely the most interesting sight you can be staring at. The cheap cocktail you thought could ease out the anxiety, and now that the little effect it had left your body, all you can do is laugh at yourself.
âWho is she anyway?â You didnât even catch her name before she jumped at the chance to get Mingyu alone.
âWe presented right after her.â Your friendâs voice barely reaches you over the loud music, and on top of that, you donât really care to know much about her anyway.
âRightâŠâ
Itâs not a big deal. What else did you expect? That he wouldnât be able to keep his hands off you like the last time you were in a club together? That youâd feel him all around you again as he felt you up with everyone watching? Stupid. You got too comfortable, took him for granted, and he got tired.
âAre you okay?â Nayeon materializes by your side, her hand on your arm steering your eyes back to her.
âHe can do whatever he wants! I really donât care.â Seeing how they can always tell whatâs going on with you, of course they read through the lines.
The other two girls you came with look confused before they dare to speak up.
âWe tried telling her that he was off limits," One says as the other confesses, âWe thought you two were together.â
The girlsâ confusion only fuels yours. You really didnât want to think about it further before, just in case, but it gets you wondering. âWâwhy would you think that?â
âWe just saw you talking after you presented," The blonde one giggles before her friend adds. âYou guys looked cute!â
How did they get to that conclusion after the simplest interaction? Were you that obviously nervous? Was the prickling of your skin visible when he stood too close by your side? Itâs become the norm for you two to act this way, the invisible skinship boundary long broken.
Deep down, you know thereâs no reason to doubt him. You want to be weary of him, find one single flaw to use as an excuse to not like him, but itâs pointless. Mingyuâs never proven to be anything other than supportive. Heâs been so patient with you, the deeper feelings for him developed almost on their own. No warning.
Even before breaking up with Jungkook, Mingyu was always present. Since that first day he found you crying, he made sure you had company, made sure you didnât get too in your head and helped you have a good time. He was there for you before you even realized you needed it.
You took him for granted for too long, and now he has a pretty girl in front of him showing clear signs of attraction, all while you get scared texting him.
You've been so stupid, so blind to what you had in front of you, that now you're losing it, seeing it disappearing from your life with your own eyes.
The charged stares you've been sparing them must've made their way into Mingyuâs sixth sense, because he finally unglues his eyes from the girl and connects them with yours. You know you have no right to be jealous, you two are nothing, just two people with a very complicated relationship.
As if he knew everything going through your mind, Mingyu smirks your way. He fucking smirks. The twist of his lips cause a chain reaction from your hanging jaw down to your insides becoming a roller coaster. You barely hear your friends saying theyâre going to the restroom, choosing to stay and challenge Mingyu.
â  â  â â â  â â â  â
When he got your text inviting him out, Mingyu was sitting on the couch that had seen it all happen. Jungkook, just beside him, easily took a peek at the notification that lit up his friend's mood.
âIs that her?â
Even if theyâve resolved the bad blood between them, Mingyu couldnât help to hide the reality of his feelings from Jungkook. âYeah," He told him after replying to your text.
Mingyu could count with one hand the few times you had dared to text him first these past few weeks. Seeing your name pop up, inviting him out, was thrilling.
It's been no secret that every time Mingyu disappeared to go somewhere unannounced, he was going with you. Jungkook knew it, but it was time he encouraged it.
âDude, if you like each other, I'm not looking to get in between," Jungkook assured with his eyes back to the tv in front of them.
âIsnât it weird?â Mingyu tested the waters, checking if he was hallucinating the support.
âItâs only weird if you make it weird," Jungkook shrugged, as if it were that simple.
The situation is weird. And maybe it will always be weird.
Mingyu started making up this fantasy in his head, where, in the future, youâve finally let him in and he can love you the way you deserve. One where you can look back at the past and laugh with that blinding toothy smile of yours, with all the hurt being just a distant memory. But before you two get to that point, Mingyu will make sure nothing gets in the way of your happiness ever again. And he foolishly hopes you find it with him.
âIs she okay?â Jungkookâs question took Mingyu out of his thoughts. âIâve been thinking if I should apologize or not.â
âSheâs fine,â at that moment, Mingyu realized that maybe his best friend is better at hiding how he feels than he thought, âbut an apology wouldnât hurt.â
Having long conversations was never their strong suit, so the topic ended there, with Jungkook deep in thought and Mingyu getting up to change clothes.
Something drove him to try and be more presentable for you. The last time you two went to a club together, he almost gave up everything right then and there. Now that there are no barriers between the two of you, he wonât hold back at your advances, he wonât freeze if you dance close to him. At least that was his initial goal.
When he arrived at the club, Mingyu had to pause as soon as he saw you across the room. The smile you showed your friend after something she said illuminated the whole room, leaving nothing else in front of his eyes but you.
He greeted all your friends as politely as he could without straying his eyes off you. His hand traveled itself onto the small of your back, keeping you intoxicatingly close to him as best he could. And he didnât want to leave your side, but maybe breathing an air free of your perfume would help him think clearly, he thought.
Talking to one of the girls you were with, Mingyu partly feels bad for already forgetting her name. The overworked bartenderâs taking too long to prepare all the drinks, and he has no other choice than to entertain the girl.Â
Answering her questions gets harder and harder with the music blasting, and as she places her hand on his arm to get closer to him, Mingyu can feel the interaction being under someoneâs scrutinizing eyes.
Is this all in his head? Are you really standing with your arms crossed and the cutest frown ever on your forehead, almost killing the girl in front of him with your stare? The corner of his mouth lifts autonomously at the thought of you not liking him flirting with another person.
He hasnât seen this side of you, the jealous and slightly possessive one. And even if youâre nothing more than friends, he loves it. He loves the way you squint when you lock eyes, how you shrug when he doesnât back down. Itâs easy for him to excuse himself and walk towards you again.
At the sight of him, you turn your back on Mingyu, pretending to be dancing alone. So, he has no other choice but to stand behind you and ask in your ear. âSomething on your mind?â
Your back tenses against his chest, but you donât move away, allowing Mingyu to wrap his arms around your waist to keep you close. With your friends suddenly nowhere in sight, he interlocks your fingers while in his hold, helping you relax even if youâre still pretending to be mad.
âYou took your time.â The initially suffocating sea of people now feels protective, working like a barrier between your bodies pressed tightly together and the outside world. âHaving fun?â
âI am now," Mingyuâs lips graze the side of your face as they lit up in another smirk, growing goosebumps all across your body. âHow about you?â
Somehow, being like this doesnât feel weird. Youâve had Mingyuâs arms wrapped around you so many times now that they easily mold to your figure. There really is only one difference, one that none of you dare speak up but washes over your every interaction.
âI was thinking of going home already.â You look down at your hands tangled in one, fearing that Mingyu can notice at any time how butterflies erupt in your stomach at every word he purrs right in your ear. âNot much to do here.â
âI can take you," His choice of words halts your breath, but you remember.
Untangling Mingyuâs hands from yours, you turn around in his arms to face him, regretting instantly as soon as your eyes connect again.
âYou should stay. You looked like you were having fun.â That makes Mingyu chuckle, and an embarrassed warmness bursts inside you at the sound.
âI didnât think you were the jealous type, princess.â And you didnât think he was the type to tease you in public, but life takes you to unthinkable roads sometimes.
You scoff as an excuse to take your eyes off him for a second. âJealous, huh? Youâre funny.â
In an intent to get away from his menacingly broad body, your hands take the unconscious decision to push his chest away. But you donât have the true will to do it, or the strength. Heâs too big, too muscly for you to move, and he traps your hands against him, against the sheerest shirt ever that lets you feel every muscle tense under your touch.
âIâd like to think I can make a girl laugh sometimes.â Heâs all you can see, covering every spot in your vision with his unerasable teasing smirk.
âYeah, I saw that.â At the roll of your eyes, thereâs no denying that youâre jealous anymore. Do you really care if he knows anyway?
âOh, you did? Controlling.â
âIâm not controlling! You can do whatever you want, I wonât get in your way.â If he wants to flirt with an emotionally available girl after the infinite amount of time he waited for you, you canât stop him. Youâll take your feelings to the grave.
Something brews in Mingyuâs mind at your rebuttal. âYou wonât?â
âNo.âÂ
For the first time in forever, Mingyu willingly unclasps one of his hands from yours, âAnd if I do this?â
Mingyuâs fingers creep up your neck and get a hold of your chin, titling it up until you have no other choice but to look him in the eye. He waits for your answer, as if youâd ever say no. As soon as you nod, giving him the okay, another smirk is the only warning you get.
Your lips, meant to be pressed against his forever, part with a sigh as Mingyu's arms wrap around your waist. The world around you, with frantic music and people moving at lightspeed, fades to nothing in his embrace. You move along Mingyuâs soft lips naturally, letting your heart convey your feelings through the kiss.
The memory of that last kiss you dared give him all those days ago canât compare to this one. Thereâs no hesitation this time, no guilt restraining you from following your true desire. Nothing outside your bubble really matters as your hands travel up his chest to keep his head in place.
His hair feels soft between your fingers as you push yourselves together closer and closer. You never want anything else in life, just kissing and kissing Mingyu until your lungs give out. Itâs unfortunate that you canât.
âLet me take you home," He gasps with your lips just millimeters away.
Your stomach twists and turns with anticipation. âOkay,â barely a whisper accompanies your nod, fearing the way your voice could come out if you said more.
With his hand in yours, walking the moonlit streets in swift steps and giggles, any worries you had slip away with the wind. The feeling of his lips linger on yours every second it passes, every breath you take, every step forward until you stop at an intersection and Mingyu pulls you into him again.
The walk blends between kisses and hand squeezes to check if youâre in a dream or not. You never want to back away from his hold ever again, but as your building materializes in front of you, you're forced to take your hand off the hem of his shirt.
The elevatorâs wall hits your back as soon as the automatic doors let you in, barely giving you time to push your floorâs button before Mingyuâs over you again. His mouth takes yours with a hunger that grows every second youâre not inside your apartment. Heâs losing control, succumbing to his desires the more you show your want for him.
By some way, your tangled bodies manage to reach your door, though Mingyuâs hands refusing to stop going over your hips and waist are the challenge to overcome. Your fingers tremble trying to turn the key the right way, your nervous system focusing on the lips kissing every inch of the side of your neck he can reach and his fingers slipping underneath the fabric of your top.
As soon as you close the door behind you, the reality closes in on you. With Mingyuâs arms wrapping around your waist again, the bag you forgot you were holding dropping onto the floor with a thud, and the bright lights in your apartment making everything clear.
Mingyu notices your sudden hesitation and stands before you, worried eyes studying you, looking for any sign to tell him what's happening in your mind.
âI made you get in a fight with your best friend," Your reminder is like a dagger against the silence.
âIs that what's bothering you?â His eyes find yours and understand immediately. âWe're fine,â He tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear, âhe actually encouraged me to come tonight.â
Your eyes widen with hope, leaning into his touch when he doesn't retrieve his hand from the side of your face. âDid you guysââ
âWe talked,â Mingyu's voice explains so softly, one wouldn't think he was just making you gasp with that same mouth on yours, âand I told him he should apologize to you.â
Standing in the middle of your entrance hallway, you feel stupid for even bringing that up. He wouldn't be here with you if he felt guilty. He wouldn't be cupping your face in his hands, making you look up to him to find the glimmer in his eyes outshining every light source in the room.
âAnd youâre sure about this?â What âthisâ means, youâre not sure either.
âI've never been more sure about anything.â Your breath hitches at his answer, your body noticeably frozen as you look for a non-existent lie in his eyes. âMaybe we should take things slow, let you figure out what you want.â
Before he can back away from your personal space, you react. âNo, no, I want this too. I want you.â
Those words coming out of your mouth combined with your hands gripping his shirt to keep him in place quickly make Mingyu regret his previous statement. You're so close, too close to him, saying you want him with your eyes dark and wide.
Mingyuâs hands stay on you, caressing the side of your face as if he was debating whether to give in and kiss you again or do the rational thing. Yours, instead, find the first button at the end of the all too well fitting shirt Mingyuâs wearing, and start unbuttoning it one by one.
âI should take you out on a real date first," Mingyu maintains with a sigh, but not stopping you in your quest.
âI personally think,â at his unmoving body, you take a step closer, with your hands against his chest not daring to sneak under the welcoming fabric, âweâre past that, donât you think?â
For a second, Mingyu thinks youâll be able to feel the rapid beating of his heart, stronger with each second your hands lay on his chest. Rationality is losing the fight against his desire.
âJust making sure this isnât a rebound situation,â Mingyu blurts, even if he doesnât really care about it for himself. Heâd take whatever you give him.
âYou arenât a rebound. This isnât a revenge plot.â You think for a second before you continue, âYou saw me cry way too many times and were there for me at my weakest. You make me feel seen, wanted, and getting to know you has made my life better in ways I couldâve never imagined.â
Your words go through Mingyu's ears and right into his bloodstream, getting warmer and warmer the closer you get. His hands go down your body, encouraging you to move forward until your chests touch.
âI needed you even before I knew what I needed.â You can sense the tears beginning to build up, but you push through. He has to know. âI know what I want now, and itâs you.â
âIf this is a dream, I never wanna wake up,â every word Mingyu says comes with a widening smile.
You chuckle, wrapping your arms around his neck with confidence, âI can assure you, it's not.â
As if you've been getting chased by your feelings all this time, putting it into words and letting it all out works, and your brain stops racing. You can finally breathe, think, see.
âSo, was that a no about the date?â As always, Mingyu manages to make you chuckle again, and it reverberates all across both your bodies. Every shiver of his, you feel, with the minimal skin to skin contact against his barely uncovered chest and the tiniest top you found to put on.
âYou can take me on a date another day. Now, I want something else.â You don't know where all this confidence is coming from, but seeing the shock in Mingyu's eyes, it only grows. âYou okay with that?â
âIâll give you anything you want.â
The space between your faces charges with electricity as you take in his words. An unconscious bite on your lower lip pulls his gaze down, egging him to close the space slowly. You almost donât register his advance, focusing on the part of his lips that were just on yours minutes ago.
Thereâs nothing more to be said, no invisible walls to tear down, only you and him and the pull between you, pushing you closer until your breaths mix. After all the obstacles you overcame, and the bumps that lead you to where you are now, thereâs no more time to waste.
When your heads meet again, your tingling lips mold against Mingyuâs for the thousandth time, worried about nothing and wanting it all. And he doesnât hold back either. His hands on your waist venture up inside your top, feeling your back tense at his touch as the fabric crumples up, leaving more of you exposed to him.
You canât hide your craving for him any longer. You follow his rhythm eagerly, making a mess of his hair between your fingers and pushing him further against you. Every touch of his makes you gasp, and he takes the opportunity to kiss down your jaw and neck. His hands and lips everywhere.
âMight as well just take this off.â Mingyuâs lips print a smirk on the sensitive skin of your neck before pulling back. You get what he means immediately as he tugs on your top, taking it off you as soon as you put your arms up.
His hands feel your chest up to his liking, getting to know the places that make you sigh into his mouth. Every touch of his fingers makes that spot light up like fire, and every sound you make encourages Mingyu more and more.
Your hands sneak under his opened shirt, feeling the firmness of his chest directly elicits a groan from Mingyu, making you shiver as you slip the fabric down his arms.
Your living room becomes a clichĂ© mess of scattered clothing before you direct the both of you to your bedroom. You barely have time to drink in Mingyuâs body before youâre falling with your back on the mattress, chest to chest again, bare against one another, free of any fabric in between.
Mingyu slots between your legs effortlessly, a low moan coming from him as his hardening length grinds softly on the crevice between your limbs. His golden skin that was the star of your every dream, finally at your reach, soft and warm under the pads of your fingers.
âGyuââ Words choke up on your throat as you feel his lips wrapping around one of your nipples.
âYou're gorgeous,â His lips against your chest makes you halt your movements, mind focused solely on him, âso pretty, only for me.â
It's almost as if he was talking to himself, but you moan at every compliment, arching your back for more of him. And he loves it. Loves the way you react to the stream of thoughts that run around his brain every time he looks at you.
âFuck!â The curse leaves you both in unison when Mingyu finds his digits against your core.
âI barely even touched you and you're already ready for me?â Mingyu feels your reaction to his words first hand as a wave of arousal hits you.
âFuck you,â you gasp and he chuckles, kissing down your torso until heâs facing your core.
âI'll take care of you, don't worry, baby.â His breath fans at your wet folds, so close to where you want him but still teasing you with his fingers.
Youâre about to fight back when you feel him teasing at your opening, his eyes entranced by how ready you are for him. All the anticipation, the tension between you from the past weeks, culminating at once at this very moment.
The slickness leaking out of you from all the kissing and groping makes it easy for him to set the pace. Mingyuâs fingers stretch your insides with expertise, as if he learned every spot of yours to touch to have you squirming.
The torturously slow thrusts of his fingers drive you crazy, curling and hitting exactly where you need them before heâs pulling back. You donât hold your sounds back, your every reaction letting Mingyu know how good he makes you feel.
âThatâs it, baby,â His low voice sets fire to the blood rushing through your veins, and your walls clamp harder around his fingers.
Your knuckles turn white as you grip the sheets below you, and Mingyuâs other hand has to hold your thighs apart so you donât close them around his head.
âMingyuâshit!â His lips leave a trail of breathy kisses on your inner thigh, trying to help you relax and take him in, but ultimately turning you on further. âGyu, wait.â
âI love that youâre calling me that.â He listens and stops thrusting, leaving his fingers to fully fit inside you.
âI need you.â Youâre not embarrassed to say what you want. Not with him.
âBut you have me?â He tries to tease, but youâre ahead of him already and immediately correct yourself.
âInside.â His fingers adjust themselves inside you, almost making you forget what you were asking for. âI need you to fuck me.â
Mingyu chuckles at your neediness, but you know he wants it just as bad. His rock hard length draws your attention as he stands up and retrieves his wet digits from you, leaking and ready to split you in half.
Thereâs a second of hesitation as he looks at you splayed on the bed, as ready for him as he is for you. You recognize the train of thought going through him and stretch your arm to open the drawer below your nightstand, where you keep condoms just in case.
Itâs sinful, the sight of Mingyu rolling down the condom as his eyes rake up and down your body. When he kneels on the mattress, fitting like a glove between your legs, it takes another kiss of his on each of your spent legs for you to realize that whatâs happening is real.
Caged between both of his arms, his hands holding his weight on both sides of your head, your legs wrap around his waist and push him inside you, at last.
His length fits inside you, opening up your walls to mold to his shape as you both moan.
Your hips collide as he hits your deepest parts. âBeing inside you is gonna kill me.â You can feel the twitching of his cock deep inside you. He paused to let you get used to his size, but the last thing you want to do is wait.
âIâm gonna kill you if you donât move.â
Youâve learned teasing him works wonders, and as soon as those words leave your lips, heâs complying with what you ask of him. âWhatever my princess wants.â
Whatever thoughts you had, they fade at the drag of his length deliciously making you his with each thrust. Deep and slow, he lets you feel everything he has to give before almost pulling out.
The skin of his back becomes the victim of your scratches, your nails digging into his tense muscles with every grind of his hips. But no matter what you do, how you touch him, how loudly you moan, his pace remains at the same torturing speed.
âRelax, baby.â A hand caresses the side of your face, and you realize youâd shut your eyes closed at the feeling of him pushing inside you.
Mingyu lowers his head, flushing your chests together again as he kisses you softly, matching the pace of his thrusts with his tongue tangling with yours. He drinks every sound you make, as they are only for him, and lowers his hand down your torso until it meets your connected cores.
Your sensitive clit feels like fire under the touch of his fingers, circling around it to help you ease up the tension. âThatâs it, baby, taking me so well.â
Everywhere he reaches becomes your new favorite place for him to touch. From your lips, down to your cunt, and all the way inside you, everywhere now has his name written. Youâre his.
The pulsing of your walls around him doesnât cease, becoming quicker and harder the more he continues with the slow pace. Your insides wait for every intoxicating thrust as if starved of him, craving everything he gives you and more.
His lips move on yours, parted and unable to work, mumbling praise you donât get to hear as every one of your senses focuses on the fire inside you threatening to burst. Mingyuâs hips falter, having trouble thrusting inside you as you tighten impossibly tighter around him.
Your vision turns white as your orgasm explodes without so much as a warning. Your legs tremble around Mingyuâs pistoning hips, thrusting endlessly searching for his release.
Mingyuâs broad body falls limp on you as his length twitches, coming inside the condom with a groan while your walls hug him tight.
You lay under him happily, a smile on your face as you stare at the ceiling. He feels warm all around you, a feeling you could get used to. Mingyu canât resist it and kisses you again. Heâll take every opportunity he can get to feel your lips on his.
âWhat's on your mind?â He asks, eyes locking in to yours as he slips out from you before attacking your lips again.
You both smile in the kiss before he stands up to discard the used condom and put his boxers back on. âJust thinking where you can take me on our date.â
He turns around with a glowing smile. âYouâre thinking about that already?â
The way he lays down on your bed with you, naturally wrapping you in his arms and pulling you to him, feels like a dream come true.
âOf course, baby, I always think ahead.â You note the way he blushes when you use that nickname on him and snuggle against him.
Listening to Mingyuâs steady breathing and heartbeat under your ear, drifting to sleep has never been easier.Â
The smell of freshly grounded coffee fills the air around the cafĂ© Mingyu picked. A cozy new place, lighted with yellowy light bulbs and with a space designated to read books you can borrow from the shelves covering the walls. It opened a few weeks ago in his neighborhood and heâs been insisting you try it out together since.
Youâve been on countless dates with him already, but you still feel nervous having him sit by your side in the booth. Still get embarrassed when he asks for a big smoothie with two straws for you both.
You donât see a future where you donât get nervous around him, but heâs always there. A future without him wouldnât be life at all. And the best thing is, Mingyu feels the same way.
âAre you sure theyâre coming?â You ask as your eyes drift to the glass door for the tenth time in the past five minutes.
âI promise they are!â Minguy takes your jaw in his fingers to make you look at him. âRemember to not say anything about the apartment. He'll as her when he's readyâ
âWhat are you talking about?â You ask, feigning cluelessness, and Mingyu chuckles before giving you a peck.
Detaching your lips is always the hardest chore. But after a few awkward instances where you let your kisses deepen in public, you both decided to control yourselves, even in a secluded booth like the one youâre currently in.
Mingyuâs eyes light up watching the street from the window youâre sitting against, and you turn around to see the people youâve been waiting for.Â
Jungkook and Cathlyn walk inside the store holding hands and with matching smiles on their faces as they greet you. How Mingyu convinced them to go out on a double date with you still astonishes you, but youâre glad everything that happened could finally be put behind you.
It was hard at first, even after Jungkook apologized to you, you didnât dare go inside their apartment for months until Mingyu moved in with you a few weeks ago.
As soon as they sit in front of you, the plan youâve been scheming starts. Your eyes lock with Mingyuâs and he instantly realizes what you're about to do, but not even his hand squeezing your thigh under the table can stop you. âSo, Jungkook, what are you going to do now that you live in the apartment alone?â
note: it's finally here!!!
thank you all for being so excited this past month and for reading this monster of a fic i somehow came up with.
if you reached the end, just know that i love you, and i'd love to hear your thoughts <3
#AHHHHHH#I finally read this!#why was jungkook genuinely evil bro#absolute fire fic tho#I love mingyu so bad guys itâs ridiculous#kim mingyu#seventeen recs#svt recs
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pretty, pity, pity (jww)
He loudly clears his throat. âSo⊠youâre like a camgirl?â
You wince. âI prefer streamer with benefits, but yeah.â
the one where reader is a camgirl and asks her roommate to fuck her on stream.
ౚৠroommate!wonwoo x cam girl! mc ౚৠw.c: 4.9k ౚৠgenre: pwp. minors do not interact. ౚৠwarnings: explicit contentđ, wonwoo's a little too good at playing pretend, also he's a little mean in this (during sex), sex on livestream, use of sir (like three times), mingyu is reader's friend, uhh i think that's it? please tell me if there's anything i missed im not good at this. ౚৠdate posted: june 07, 2025 ౚৠnotes: title from the song novacane by frank ocean! this is also my first fic on tumblr so please be nice to me i will cry okay. i haven't written fic in ages đ please come to my blog and hang out i want to make friends !! masterlist | inbox
âHey, Wonwoo-yah,â you softly call, knuckles taping gently against his half-open door.
Wonwoo looks up from his desk, pausing his game and slipping his headphones down to hang around his neck. His brows lift in that quiet way he always greets you â surprised but gentle, like heâs glad youâre there. The light from the hallway outlines your silhouette, casting a soft glow behind you.
You step in slowly, hands twisted nervously in the sleeves of your oversized sweater. It's one of his, though youâll never admit that out loud. Your fingers fidget in the fabric as you search for the right words.
Wonwoo tilts his head, âWhatâs up?â he asks gently prodding you to speak whatever is making you nervous.
You open your mouth, close it again, then finally manage, âI⊠have kind of a weird favor to ask.â You finally admit as you plop yourself down on his bed, grabbing one of his pillows to wrap your arms around it, a makeshift shield.
He leans back in his chair. âYes.â
You blink, face contorting in astonishment. âYou donât even know what it is.â
He smiles, soft and sincere. âDoesnât matter. Iâd do anything for you.â
That makes your stomach flip, and you have to look away for a second. âThatâs⊠really sweet. But you might want to hear it first. I need you toâŠâ You suck in a breath and rush it all out: âPretend to be my boyfriend.â
Thereâs a beat of silence.
âSorry?â he says, blinking like he didnât hear you right.
You force yourself to slow down, squeezing his pillow for comfort â and not that you'd ever admit it, take a massive whiff of his cologne, something that always seems to calm you. âI need you to pretend to be my boyfriend.â
Wonwoo stares for a second, face blank in that quietly-processing-everything way of his. You can tell heâs trying to decide whether this is a prank, a cry for help, or some unspoken code heâs supposed to understand.
You let out a frustrated sigh and flop down on his bed, clutching his pillow tighter. âOkay. Context. Remember how I told you the pay from the studio isnât amazing? Like, I love it, but itâs not really paying all my bills?â
Wonwoo nods, clearly still confused.
âWell, the pay is actually, really bad, like I don't make enough to cover my portion of the rentââ
Wonwoo cuts you off, âIf you need me to pay more I can, it's really no problem, I just got a huge bonus for theââ
âNo!â This time you interrupt, âI've got it covered, that's the point. I was complaining to a friend, and well she told me about this websiteâŠâ Your words trail off giving Wonwoo a look like he's meant to use that big brain of his and fill in the blanks.
âYou have a sugar daddy?â He guesses. God, for someone so smart he is also completely clueless.
âI'm a sex worker.â You admit, staring at him, waiting for his reaction.
Thereâs a very long silence. You wait for the judgment. The discomfort. Anything.
Wonwoo looks like he's trying to remember how to breathe,
âUhm,â His voice is startlingly high when he speaks, in a way you've never heard, he clears his throat, âSo someone you uhmâŠâ you can see the tips of his ears going red, âhad business with is being a creep so you need me to scare them off.â
You can't help the burst of laughter that bubbles outâWonwoo? Intimidate anyone?
âNo, no.â You shake you head, laughter still on your lips, âLook, I, I don't fuck any one. I'm a streamer, people pay to watch me, fuck myself, that is.â
You can feel the heat flushing to your face but at least Wonwoo isn't in better shape, the red has creeped its ways from the tips of his ears down his neck and touches his cheeks.
He loudly clears his throat. âSo⊠youâre like a camgirl?â
You wince. âI prefer streamer with benefits, but yeah.â
âAnd⊠the fake boyfriend?â
You sigh, âI like started this false narrative around this boyfriend I had, so people wouldn't get too lost in the fantasy, because my friend shared all types of horror stories about doing this. And I guess I kind of just get myself off and tell them stories about this imaginary boyfriend I don't have and well on my last stream for reaching a fuckton of subscribers I said I'd do a request to the highest donation and well⊠they want my nonexistent boyfriend to fuck me. And I just, I can't ask anyone else because I can't even imagine how they would take it, like can you imagine if I asked Jihoon? That would be so embarassing. God, or Mingyu? He'd say yes but I don't think he's capable of having sex without catching feeliâ
âIâll do it.â
You slow down from your spiral, startled. âReally?â
Wonwoo nods, like itâs the easiest thing in the world. âOf course.â
ౚà§
A few days later, you're at the kitchen table, half-draped over it in shame, while Mingyu sits across from you absolutely losing his mind.
âYouââ he chokes out between wheezes, âyou asked Wonwoo to fuck you. On camera. In front of an audience. Iâgod, Iâm gonna pass out. This is the greatest day of my life.â
You groan into your arms. âStop saying it like that.â
âLike what? Like the truth? Like the guy youâve been crushing on since forever is going to dick you down live in front of thousands of horny strangers?â
âItâs not like thatââ
âIt is exactly like that,â he howls. âYou asked your crush to clap you like a goddamn cymbal monkey for money. What is this, fanfiction?â
You glare at him, snatching the spoon from your tea and brandishing it like a knife. âI swear to god, if you donât shut up, I will FaceTime Yuna right now and tell her exactly why you broke up with her.â
Mingyu pales instantly, hands in the air. âOkay. Truce. Fuck, Noona. Harsh.â
You slump back into your seat, pressing your fingers to your temples. âThis sucks.â
âCorrection,â he says smugly, âthis is your origin story. Youâve been in love with him since he "fixed" your wifi, and now you're gonna get railed on stream by him. It's the slowest burn friends-to-lovers-to-livestream-fuck arc Iâve ever seen.â
âItâs not romantic,â you mutter, glaring into your cup like it might drown you.
âReally?â Mingyu raises a brow. âSo youâre telling me you're going to let the guy youâve been mentally undressing since 2022 fill you up on camera, and then what â fist bump and call it a night?â
You donât answer.
He grins. âThatâs what I thought.â
ââŠShut the fuck up, Mingyu.â
ౚà§
Friday.
Wonwoo walks into your room just as you're adjusting the camera angle and checking the lighting. He's wearing a simple black shirt, chain at his neck, hair slightly mussed like he just rolled out of bed looking unfairly perfect.
You swallow.
âHey.â
âHey,â he replies, then nods toward the bed. âYou ready?â
Your heart is pounding. âOnly if you are.â
He steps closer, eyes flicking over your outfitâan oversized sweater, one of his, and shorts so short you can barely see themâhis Adamâs apple bobs slightly as he swallows.
âYou look nice,â he says.
You force a laugh. âThanks. You do too.â
That gets a real smile out of him, and your stomach flips.
You go live, and watch as the first messages roll in.
Your usuals, the ones who know you don't like to go right into.
You let yourself forget that Wonwoo's there as you fall into another version of yourselfâslipping into the role like a second skin. Your eyes flicker across the screen reading the message until you find one worth responding to
tigersgaze: god i needed this, work deadlines are killing me. hope your week was better than mine.
âAww, I'm sorry, tiger. I hope stream will help you relax.â You say leaning back, with the practiced ease of someone who's been doing this for ages.
angelface666: is this finally the stream where we meet the elusive boyfriend? mommyplease: show us your perfect tits please mommy? cumslut44: i like your sweater baby singledad95: please show me your cunt, i miss it so bad.
âHmm, my boyfriend is here. Maybe if you're good I'll let you meet him.â There's an unspoken request in your words, and the viewers seem to get it clearly. The donations start flowing in.
You spentd a few more quiet moments just talking with your viewers, letting more people come in.
You glance to your left. Heâs just out of frame, waiting. Calm. Cool. You reach out and tug him into view.
You know exactly the vision he looks on screenâhis hair falls in his face, just brushing against the frames of his glasses, the sharp jawline. He sits beside you on the bed, one hand possessively on your thigh.
You watch as the chats roll in.
angelface666: oh. he's pretty. justherefory/n: god i know his dick is big. tigersgaze: i bet you look so pretty on him.
You canât help but laugh softly. âYou're right tiger, I do look pretty on him.âYou slide closer to him, deliberately swinging a leg over his lap, your hips settling just against his. âTheyâve been very curious about you,â you say it like it's a confession between lovers and not like it's your best friend simply playing a role.
Wonwooâs fingers flex on your thigh. âI don't share well.â And you know he's playing his part but the truth in the statement makes you giggle, Wonwoo's never been good at sharing.
You shift your hips slightly in his lap, just enough friction to draw a sharp inhale from him.
You lean in, brushing lips against Wonwooâs ear again.
âReady to give them a show, baby?â
His reply?
A hand around your throat and a dangerous smile.
Wonwoo leans in. You tilt your head. And then his lips meet yours. Itâs not for show. Itâs not practiced.
Itâs soft. Deep. Slow. Like heâs wanted to do this for a long time. Youâre too breathless to keep pretending.
Your thighs clench involuntarily.
Wonwoo pulls back just far enough to brush his nose against yours. âColor?â
You blink, dazed. âGreen,â you breathe.
He hums in approval, a low sound that rumbles in his chest and vibrates through you. His hand slips lower, fingers tracing the hem of your shorts, and your pulse spikes.
You look back at the chat to distract yourself.
facefucker29: hurry up and fuck already dirtywhitetee: i knew you'd look pretty with a hand around your throat y/nsdirtylittleslut: i want him to make a mess of you mommyplease: that should be me mommy i'd treat your so well
You gasp a little when his hand sneaks beneath the fabric and settles possessively on your thigh. He doesnât move further â not yet â but the message is clear: mine.
He leans in again, lips ghosting over your ear. âYouâre doing so well for me,â he whispers, just loud enough for the mic to catch. âYou want me to keep going?â
You nod. Then realize they canât see that, and breathe out, âYes. Please.â
His laugh is low and dark. âThen beg.â
The room spins. You forgot you asked for this. You forgot you wanted him to play rough â like the dominant boyfriend your viewers fantasized about. You forgot that Wonwoo could look at you like that â hooded gaze, parted lips, one hand gripping your thigh, the other loose around your neck like he owns every inch of you.
âI saidââ his voice dips, something low that has you clenching around nothing, his grip on your throat just the slightest bit tighter, ââbeg.â
You almost forget the camera is even there.
âPlease, Wonwoo,â you whisper, and itâs more than a performance now. âTouch me. I need you to.â
He pats your thigh gently. âGood girl.â
The words hit you like a freight train. You whimper, openly this time.
Your eyes shift back to the chat again, trying not to get lost in himâa small part of you fears it's already too late.
singledad65: i knew you'd make such a pretty sub. what a pretty mess already
tigersgaze: fuck i'm so hard already. wanna see you choking on his cock baby.
mommyplease: mommy show us your tits please please please i'm so hard.
Wonwoo shifts slightly, demanding your attention, enough for his knee to knock your legs apart, spreading them just enough for the camera to catch view of the blooming wet spot on your cotton shorts.
You feel dizzy. Youâre wet â obviously, hopelessly wet â and every part of you is pulsing, aching, desperate for more. You donât even care about the stream anymore. You only care about him.
And then, without warning, he grabs your wrists and pins them gently above your head, pushing you back onto the bed.
Itâs not rough â not really. Just firm enough to make your whole body light up.
âKeep your hands right there,â he says, voice like velvet-wrapped steel. âLet me take care of you.â
You nod helplessly. âYes, Won-.â you gulp stopping yourself from saying his name aloud. You never discussed if he was okay with his name being used on stream.
He kisses down your neck, slow and deliberate, pausing just above your collarbone as his fingers graze the curve of your waist.
You can't imagine how you must look on camera right now, the image of you splayed out just for him. You almost whimper at the thought, your hips rolling up to chase friction.
But before anything else can happen, he pauses.
Pulls back just slightly. Meets your eyes.
âThis okay?â he asks, quietly this time. âYou sure?â
Your heart clenches.
God. Even now, with your legs spread and your body shaking and the camera still rolling, heâs checking in.
âIâm sure,â you whisper. âI trust you.â
His smile is soft. And just like that, you're ruined all over again.
âGood.â Wonwoo kisses you again â deep, filthy, and completely in control.
Your hands twitch against the pillow beneath your head, instinct screaming at you to touch him, to grab his shoulders, tangle your fingers in his hair, something â but but the larger part of you is begging you to listen, to be rewarded for being a good girl.
âYou stay right there,â he murmurs. âYou take what I give you.â
You nod, panting. âYes, W-sir.â
His free hand slides slowly beneath the hem of your sweater, palm splaying flat over your stomach. He doesnât move higher. Not yet. He waits â lets the silence stretch until your back arches off the mattress and your hips squirm beneath him.
And then he laughs, low and mean. Almost cruel, if not for the affection in his eyes.
âYouâre already so needy,â he taunts. âI havenât even touched you yet.â
His thumb brushes your bottom lip. You suck it in instinctively and the growl that slips from his throat makes your thighs clamp together.
He sees it. Of course he does.
"Open."
You do. Without question.
He pushes his thumb between your lips, slow and steady, eyes fixed on your face the whole time. You swirl your tongue around it, moaning as you suck, and the flash in his eyes makes your whole body light up like a warning sign.
He pulls his thumb free with a wet pop, then brings it down between your legs, slipping it just inside the waistband of your shorts â not enough to touch you, but enough to make your hips buck toward him.
"You're gonna be good and cum for me like this," he murmurs. "Still wearing your pretty little shorts. Think you can do that?"
âIâyeah,â you pant. âI can.â
âGood girl.â
The two words hit harder than any touch. Your whole body clenches at the sound of it. He starts to rub, slow firm circles over your panties, and your head drops back against the bed.
Youâre so wet itâs humiliating. You can feel the damp fabric clinging to you, feel the friction sparking with every motion of his fingers â and you dig your nails into into your palms to keep yourself from reaching out for him.
Youâre moaning now, high and choked, not even bothering to hold it in. You canât. His voice, his hand, his weight on top of yo âitâs all too much.
âKeep your hands up,â he growls, and thereâs no mistaking the real edge in his voice now. âYou want to cum? You earn it.â
You nod, frantic. âYes, yes, pleaseââ
âYou donât get to cum until I say so.â
âSirâ!â
He presses harder. You cry out, thighs trembling, hips jerking uselessly as he works you faster. Your breathing is ragged. Youâre so close it hurts.
And thenâ
He stops.
Your eyes fly open.
âWonwooâ!â You cry out in shock, not even pausing to think about using his name, the nager clear in your tone.
âShh,â he soothes, lips brushing your cheek. âYouâll get it. But firstâŠâ
His hands slip beneath your sweater, and this time he doesn't hesitate. He pushes it up, exposing your bare chest to the camera.
You had honestly forgotten about the streamâabout the chat, and clearly they had noticed. Your eyes rake the comments:
singledad95: poor baby she's gone already dacefucker69: fuck i'm gonna cum. mommyplease: thank you daddy, look at mommy's perfect tits. can i cum please? tigersgaze: god i think she forgot about us, but i don't care you look so good like this baby
You gasp. You should feel embarrassed, but youâre so deep into this you donât even care. You just want his hands back on you.
Wonwoo doesnât say anything at first. Just stares. His lips part slightly. Thereâs something reverent in the way his gaze drags across your skin.
Then he looks up â into the lens. Into the eyes of everyone watching.
âSheâs mine,â he says, voice low and lethal. âYou can look, but you donât get to touch. Ever.â
Then he looks down again, and he smiles â slow, devastating, like a man who knows exactly how fucked you are.
âNow beg again, baby. Real pretty for the camera.â
You choke on your own breath.
âPlease, Wonwoo,â you whisper. âI need to cum. IâI need you so bad, please, Iâll be good, I swear.â
His hand slips back between your legs.
And this time, he doesnât stop.
You donât know if youâre begging in words anymore or just making sounds â the kind of half-choked whines you never thought would leave your mouth outside of your most desperate dreams.
And heâs still touching you, still working tight, devastating circles against your clit through the soaked fabric of your panties. Your hips buck wildly beneath him, your legs trying to close, but his free hand pins your thigh open with ease.
âDonât fight it,â he murmurs. âYou wanted to cum so badâso do it. Cum for me, just like this. Let them all watch how sweet you sound when I ruin you.â
You gasp, a high-pitched sob, and your fingers claw into the sheets beside your head, straining to obey his earlier command to keep your hands to yourself. You're on fire, every muscle drawn tight and twitching, a livewire underneath his touch.
âYou're so wet," Wonwoo growls. "You really were gonna cum for me in your shorts like a little slut, huh?â
Your whimper is confirmation enough. Your body is spiraling out of your control now.
And then he leans in â mouth brushing your ear, voice so low itâs filthy.
âI'm not even inside you yet and you're already a fucking mess.â
Something in you snaps.
Your mouth drops open in a silent scream as your orgasm slams into you. Your thighs shake, your breath catches, and your entire body locks up beneath him as he works you through it, never slowing down â rubbing mercilessly until youâre twitching and gasping and trying to twist away from his hand.
But he doesnât let you go.
âOh no, no, baby,â he coos, voice suddenly cruel again, deceptively sweet. âYou can cum more than that.â
âWonwooââ you plead, voice broken.
âYouâre gonna cum again. For them,â he says, nodding toward the camera, âand for me.â
Your body is oversensitive now but his hand doesnât stop. It changes. Slower now, deeper pressure, coaxing you through the aftershocks.
You try to speak. Itâs just a stuttering, useless gasp of air.
âCome on,â he says gently now. âOne more. Be good.â
And then he bites you, open mouth, right over your collarbone, and that's all it takes for you to fall apart.
The second orgasm crashes over you before youâre fully recovered from the first. It drags a low moan from your lips this time, ragged and raw, and you sob out his name like a prayer as your body convulses underneath him.
Your vision goes blurry for a second.
The only thing anchoring you is the press of his hand between your thighs and the sound of his voice â murmuring quiet praises youâre barely coherent enough to understand.
âJust like that. Thatâs my girl.â
And you're just coming down from the last waves of your orgasm when Wonwoo shifts you, until you're once again his lap, laying with your back against to his chest, your legs hooked on both sides of his thighs, he pushes your shorts down and off. He removes your sweater too, you're completely bare, body flushed and looking all too fucked out and he hasn't even fucked you yet. Exposed and bare on his till clothed form.
You donât even notice the camera at first.
He turns his gaze to the camera and smiles. He smirks, really â eyes heavy-lidded, lazy with satisfaction.
You're too fucked out to really pay attention, he says, âIf you want more, you know what to do.â
The dings of incoming donations flood the room, one after another until Wonwoo is seemingly satisfied.
He trails a finger up your thigh, playing with your dripping pussy. He looks at the chat for confirmation, you try to, too, eyes still unfocused from pleasure as his fingers tease your core.
âYou're so dirty baby, I haven't even got my fingers in you yet and you're dripping.â A sharp whine leaves your lips at his words. His finger teases your opening, before pulling away to brush lightly against your abused clit.
"Tell me, what do you want? Do you want me to touch you here?" He pauses, his breath warm on your skin as he whispers near in your ear, "Or maybe somewhere else?"
His hand slowly moves upwards, caressing your stomach, then higher to cup one of your breasts. He squeezes softly, feeling the weight and shape of it in his palm, brushing a finger against a peaked nipple. âUse your words, baby.â
âWonwoo,â You whine, rocking your hips softly, feeling his cock, thick and hard beneath you, you feel oh so empty, âPlease.â
Wonwoo slowly pushes a finger inside you, he groans softly, the sound vibrating against your skin as he continues to place gentle kisses along your neck and collarbone. "Mmm, so tight," he murmurs, slowly pumping his finger in and out, building a steady rhythm.
With his free hand, he reaches up to tangle his fingers in your hair, and pulls, hard enough to sting. He trails his lips over the sensitive skin, nipping and sucking gently as he works another finger into your slick heat, stretching you out.
"Does that feel good?" he asks, his voice rough with need. "Do you like having my fingers inside you, stretching you open?"
You nod, mouth open in a moanâyou're so lost in your own world, in the pleasure, it's easy to forget that this is all for show, that this moment is just an act and Wonwoo isn't yours. But in this moment he is.
âMore, please.â You whine rocking your hips, simultaneously grinding down on his clothed cock and against his fingers inside you.
His fingers fuck into you with a purpose untilââAhhhâ you moan, shaking, when he pushes against your g-spot with a determined persistence.
His eyes go sharp again as he stares down the camera, he's staking his claim. You're his.
âWhat do you think? Should I make her cum again like this?â He asks, a smirk on his lips as he stills his hand, you rock your hips shamelessly chasinging your release.
âWonwoo please please please please please.â A litany of pleas leave your lips, tears nearly forming in your eyes. You're so close you can taste it.
âDon't ask me, baby.â He chuckles low and deep, unbelievably sexy. âAsk them.â
You catch a glimpse of yourself in the viewfinder, fucked out, a mess, eyes heavy lidded. You look debauched, and pretty.
âI want to cum,â Your voice is raw from all the moaning, your lips are plump from biting on them, you look the very essence of sin, âplease.â
The chat explodes with tips and that seems to be enough for Wonwoo.
He kisses you like he owns you.
And maybe, in this moment, he does. The way heâs touching you says it â the way heâs holding your hips down, dragging his fingers up your thigh, says it. You can feel the tip of his cock brushing against your entrance â you hadn't even noticed he'd pulled it out of his sweatpants, and itâs not even in yet but your body is already begging.
âReady?â he murmurs low against your throat, lips brushing your skin like a tease.
You nod, wordless. Already wrecked, slick and throbbing under him, your thighs trembling with every shallow breath.
âWords,â he reminds you, and you feel the tip press just slightly inside.
âYes. Yes, Wonwoo, please.â
He groans like heâs been waiting to hear that all night. âGood girl.â
And then he pushes in.
Your gasp catches high in your throat, nails clawing at the sheets beneath you as he splits you open, inch by inch, his hips slow and deliberate. Heâs thick, the stretch almost too muchâalmost, but then he bottoms out, presses flush against your body, and you swear you see white.
Wonwoo pauses there, buried inside you. His voice is a low growl when he speaks.
âLet them see you like this,â he says, staring down the camera with a smirk. âStuffed full of me.â
You donât even care that theyâre watching. Not when he starts to move.
His thrusts are deep from the start, slow at first, but with that tight rhythm that makes your brain melt. One of his hand wraps around your throat, thumb resting just under your jaw, and the contact makes your whole body tense beneath him. The other steady on your hip, moving you like a ragdoll, his personal fuck toy as he lifts you up and down on his lap, meeting his every thrust.
âYou like that?â he says, almost mockingly sweet. âGetting fucked in front of a live audience?â
âWonwooââ you gasp, already spiraling.
âYouâre taking me so well,â he praises. âLook at that. So tight. So fucking wet.â
Each thrust punches a little sound out of you, his cock hitting that sweet spot over and over, and when he pulls your hips down to meet his, the slick slap of skin echoes off the walls. You don't even try to stop the sounds falling from your lips anymoreâyou're beyond pride, beyond shame.
âGonna cum already?â he teases, kissing along your jaw, grinding deep. âNot even halfway done with you, baby.â
âIâI canâtââ you whimper.
âYes, you can,â he growls. âYouâre gonna cum around my cock like a good girl.â
The orgasm builds fast, your body tight, trembling, every muscle locking up as you struggle to hold back. But his voice is right in your ear, coaxing you through it.
âLet them watch you fall apart for me,â he whispers. âNow. Be good. Cum.â
You shatter.
Itâs too much. Your vision goes white, your body clamps tight around him, and your orgasm tears through you like a storm. You cry out, maybe even sob his name, but itâs all blurred in the wave of pleasure. You canât think, canât breathe.
Wonwoo groans low in his throat as you tighten around him, and itâs like a switch flips. His hips snap into yours harder now, faster. His grip on your throat tightens as he chases his own release.
âYou feel too fucking good,â he hisses, fucking into you like heâs about to lose control. âSo perfect. Gonna cum inside you. Fill you up. You want that?â
You nod frantically, barely coherent, and thatâs all he needs.
He slams in once more and holds there, hips pressed hard against you as his body trembles, his breath catching in a deep, guttural groan. You feel the heat of it, the way he pulses inside you, and it only makes your body twitch around him again.
Silence.
Except for your ragged breathing, the camera still rolling in the background, and the sound of his heartbeat thudding against your chest.
Wonwoo finally exhales.
He gently eases out of you, hand trailing softly down your thigh, and your body gives a full-body twitchâoverstimulated and still shaking.
Your eyes meet his, no teasing now. Just something real.
The camera light is still on.
He gives it a final look, then leans forward, and with the same casual dominance as before, clicks it off.
Then he looks back down at you. Smirking. But softer now.
âYou okay?â he asks quietly.
You nod.
But your voice is hoarse when you whisper back, âYeah. But that didnât feel fake.â
He just brushes the damp hair from your cheek and says, âBecause it wasnât.â
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Tied to your Body
pairing; kim mingyu x f reader
genre; smut (minors dni), fluff (somehow)
warnings; TA!Mingyu, University Student!Reader, Camboy!Mingyu, Professor Joshua Hong (that's a warning), eating/drinking, alcohol, masturbation (m & f), lots of dirty talk, masturbation on stream, pictures taken and sent of dick/pussy, talk of sexual health, aftercare, Dom!Mingyu, sub!reader, Dom/sub dynamics, color system, subspace, dumbification, praise, pet names, degradation, crying, spitting on pussy, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, cum eating, some light impact play -- I think that is everything.
w/c; 13.3k and some change
a/n; I love camboy love sick Mingyu. thank you to @junkissed for betareading this for me! a huge thank you to @onlyseokmins for making the instagram graphics for me! i am still writing may's fic and need a bit more time. enjoy this older patreon exclusive.
before continuing remember reblogs are incredibly important and please read how to support me here
Running the back of your pen along your bottom lip, you sigh, finally leaning back from your desk. You had been looking at the same page of your physics textbook for an hour. It felt like your brain was beginning to feel like jello. A familiar ding from your cellphone made you bite down on the end of your pen as you reached for the phone, the corners of your lips pulling up into a slight smirk.
ariespic_46 is live
You tried not to waste your money. It was hard enough to be a college student and to share an apartment instead of living in a dorm but sometimes spoiling yourself was important. It was hard enough trying to balance a part-time job and a full-time course work schedule; you rarely found time to go to parties and the relationship pool was limited.
You had dated during your time at the university but it had been brief and no one had ever kept your attention for longer than a month. Over time, classes became more important and you found other ways to find pleasure, even if it cost you a few extra bucks a month to indulge in.
Opening your laptop, you find yourself entranced by the man on your screen as he smiles, leaning back in his chair. He never showed anything above his nose. You wished you could see his entire face. With as handsome as he was from the nose down, you were drooling over this camboy almost daily.
As ariespic_46 lets out a breath, you find yourself doing the same as you lay on your side on your bed in the dark. He was dressed in some tan dress pants, a white button up that was already unbuttoned down to the top of his abs, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. He looked like a dream. You couldnât help but look over every detail that you were privy to. He had the cutest freckle on the end of his nose and sharp canines that he bit down into his bottom lip with when he was especially horny, like now.
âHi pups. I missed you.â
A small squeak slips from your lips when the man finally talks. He was such a tease. He would sometimes just sit there for minutes while the chat went crazy, asking for things, just his biceps flexing as he stretched out his fingers in clear amusement at how needy the chat was.
âAw, you missed me too, didnât you? Thatâs cute.â
The man leans his head back and you try to move your head so you can see more of him but as usual, it's in vain. He had his camera set up for this. He didnât want his face fully on the screen and while you could respect it, you were still curious.
âIt was a long day. You have no idea. Iâm all wound up... Having to be this professional in front of others while I think about doing this later. GodâŠâ The man grins, his canines on display, as he lifts his hips, undoing his dress pants. âAnd then the teasing I put up with on a daily fucking basis. I donât think she even realizes sheâs doing it.â
You furrow your brows. He talked about some girl on his streams sometimes. You didnât mind; no one seemed to. It got him even more excited to think about this girl who teased him during the day. You wondered what it would be like to be herâto be the one on his mind all day and night. The one that made him want to wrap his hand around his thick cock and stroke it until he came so hard. You imagine you are her sometimes; he makes it easy for you to, with how he talks to the stream.
âWanna put you on your knees in front of me for teasing me like that?"
Watching ariespic_46 closely, your eyes follow as he kicks his pants somewhere off the screen. The man smirked, leaning back in his chair, knowing eyes were on him. He could see the viewer count and it never disappointed him. Your eyes were moving over the bit of his chest that was exposed as his fingers undid the rest of his shirt, leaving him in his dress shirt and briefs as a long, sighing groan slipped from his lips.
âCanât help but think how pretty youâd look if you were. So fucking pretty every day and acting so innocent like you donât realize Iâm looking at you.â
You sigh, your bottom lip jutting out, as the man talks to the girl through you and the other viewers. You feel a bit of shame as you run your fingers along your stomach and play with the tie of your pajama pants but itâs not enough to stop you.
Glancing at the comments, you canât help but agree with a few of them, saying theyâd never ignore him. You couldnât imagine ignoring someone like ariespic_46, not on purpose. There was no one who went to your university who came close to looking like him.
When the man wraps his fingers around his cock for the first time, you have to close your eyes to the sound that slips out between his pretty lips. You loved the sounds he made. He never tried to keep them quiet or to himself. He just let them be as erotic as possible and it made you drip around your fingers that were now slowly sliding through your folds.
âAre you being a good girl for me? My pretty little pup? Are you gonna cum for me when I cum tonight?â
Whimpering, you nod even though he canât see you. You werenât one who took the time to comment while he touched himself and spoke. You knew he wouldnât recognize names from chat anyway. He did, however, acknowledge tips and that you did when you let yourself think with your pussy more than your brain.
âMm, thank you, Nabi.â
Hearing part of your username on ariespic_46âs lips as he moans, pre-cum slipping over his fingers, makes you press your lips together. You hadnât sent him muchâjust $30âbut for a student, that was more than you should be spending on porn.
Pressing your nose against your arm, you adjust yourself on the bed, watching the man groan louder as he got closer to his climax. You had started to be able to tell when it was going to happen. The way his mouth fell open, the way his groans got more urgent and drawn out, his fingers of his right hand gripping the arm of his chair for dear life as he stroked himself through his climax with his left.
Most nights when you watched his streams, you would end up doing exactly what ariespic_46 wanted and cum soon after he had but other nights, like tonight, you would end up panting as your thighs pressed together out of need. You knew there was always more, even as the man on the screen laughed, stretching his fingers out to show the camera all the cum dripping from him.
"Fuck, that was good. I have to get cleaned up. Bye, baby. See you next time.â
The stream stated it had ended, and you find yourself on your back with your phone in one hand, waiting for what came next. Not only did you tip because it made you feel good to hear even your username on the manâs lips but also for what he would give you. A notification stating you had a direct message from ariespic_46 popâs up at the top of your screen and you find yourself giggling like a teenager getting a message from a crush.
ariespic_46: have a good night, nabi đŠ thank youđ€ [picture attached]
Staring at the message for a moment, you bite at your bottom lip before your thumbs move over the keyboard to reply. You knew you didnât have to, and that he probably didnât check replies but it felt important to you.
nabi.wings: anytime, thank you for the stream âŁïž
Taking a breath, you finally press down on the link for the picture, only to moan at the sight. It was one thing to see his cock and fingers covered in cum on the stream but it was another entirely to see it in a picture like this. Now was when you couldnât help but let your fingers wander lower. Now you could let yourself let go of any shame you were feeling before and just let yourself pretend for a little while that he had cum this much for just you.
âItâs not fair... Â How are we supposed to pay attention when they are teaching the class?â
You listen to the sound of Suminâs voice as she pouts into the sentence, leaning over the desk. While your attention was down on your almost finished homework, hers was on that of Professor Hong and Mingyu standing at the front of the room.
âY/NâŠAre you even listening to me?â
Whining Sumin shakes your arm, making you look up at her as you finish the last of your physics work to meet her desperate eyes.
âI was, yeah. I didnât finish last night. I hadâŠwas I distracted?"
"Well, itâs not like they are collecting it right now. You always get good grades in this class anyway.â
Shrugging, you push your work under your book and sigh, glancing to where Sumin had been looking just a moment earlier, only to see Mingyu looking in your direction. He was breathtaking. Sumin was right between your professor and the teacherâs aid. Physics had quickly become one of your favorite classes to attend.
âYou know, unlike Professor Hong... Â Mingyu isnât married.â
You had lost your train of thought when Mingyu smiled at you, looking away a moment later and going back to his conversation with your professor. It wasnât until Sumin said something ridiculous that you furrowed your brows and looked at her like she had two heads.
âAnd? Heâs out of my league.â
Sumin laughs and leans against you, looking back up towards the front of the class as Mingyu laughs at something Professor Hong says.
âIâm just saying he looks at you a lot, thatâs all. Iâm observant and a really good friend. Heâs not that much older than us and him being out of your league is bullshit."
Rolling your eyes, you push Sumin with your arm, making her laugh again as she is forced to sit back on her side of the desk when Professor Hong moves to start the class. Now you were forcing yourself to keep your eyes down, which only made you want to steal more glances towards the attractive teacherâs aid, who took up his usual spot on a tall stool in the front corner of the room.
Sure, Mingyu looked at you. He looked at the entire class but even as you peeked in his direction, now his eyes were on you, causing your cheeks to burn and your eyes to once again drop to the page that the professor was talking about. Sumin was just getting in your head.
âMingyu will come through and collect your work and pass out this week's quiz. As always, my office is open for questions and discussion until 6 p.m., except on Fridays. Before we get started today, any questions?â
Tapping your pencil on the desk, you shake your head along with the mummers from your fellow classmates as you watch Mingyu move out of the corner of your eye. With one arm he holds a folder full of quizzes, and with the other he collects course work, stopping to laugh and smile at various people when they offer up excuses for not having it at all or having half filled sheets.
âProfessor Hongâs office is open tonight until 6 p.m., Soonyoung. You can talk to him about it. Thereâs nothing I can do about it now. If you want tutoring, I can help you set that up.â
The younger man groans, throwing his head back dramatically as Mingyu grins at him, sliding a quiz towards him before moving towards your desk. Stopping in front of Sumin, Mingyu smiles at her, kindly taking her sheet and letting her take the quiz with a flirty thank you.
âMmhm, good luck. Hi, Y/N. Your work?â
You had been trying to avoid his eyes but when your name slips off of Mingyuâs lips, you canât help but glance up at him as you push your lips together with a nod. Feeling a kick to your leg from Sumin, you grunt, falling forward, causing Mingyuâs brows to furrow out of concern until you laugh softly and lift your finished work towards his hand.
âThere ya go.â
âPerfect, good luck on your quiz.â
You wait for Mingyu to put the paper down on your desk but instead he waits for you to take it from his fingers, making you look him in the eye.
âThank youâŠâ
Grinning, Mingyu lifts his brow, letting his teeth catch his bottom lip briefly as he lets out a soft breath.
âAnytime.â
Your eyes follow Mingyu for a moment until Suminâs fingers grip your arm and she leans to squeak into your ear, making you come back to reality.
âIf that wasnât flirting, then I am failing at the game of life.â
Once again tugging your arm from your friend, you try to take a breath, shaking your head as you look down at the quiz in front of you, trying to remember how to read much less how to do anything pertaining to physics in the allotted amount of time remaining for your class period.
âI bombed it. Completely. This is the worst Iâve ever done on a quiz.â
Sumin watches you lean into your hands, the quiz on your lap, as you look at the 45 circled at the top in red ink. Even so, she had to admit that something had gone wrong today. Normally, you have no problems with quizzes, even if the class kicked her ass.
"Okay, yeah, it sucks. You didnât do well but hey, itâs not the end of the world. Maybe go talk to Professor Hong and see if he will let you retake it. Itâs literally the first time youâve fucked up a quiz.â
Groaning into your hand, your legs bouncing, you reach over to look at your phone to see the time. It was already 5:15 and you remembered how many times they had mentioned Professor Hongâs office in class. It was worth the try.
âYeahâŠyeah okay.â
Pushing your quiz into your bag, you get to your feet quickly, pulling on the end of your shirt to make sure you donât look too disheveled. With a huff, you leave Sumin standing in the commons area as you walk quickly towards where you knew your professorâs office to be. Â Glancing at the closed door, your brows furrowed, and you felt the knot in your stomach tighten as you reached up to knock on the door, clearing your throat before trying to sound confident.
âProâProfessor Hong? Itâs Y/N. Are you still in?â
Watching the frosted window for a moment longer, you start to take a step back when the door opens inward. You start to smile when you see a face you werenât expecting. Mingyu smiles at you before it turns apologetic.
âY/N? Uh, Professor Hong got a call from home about ten minutes ago and had to leave. I was about to put a sign on his door. Is everything okay?â
Of course. Of course, that would happen on the day when your life felt like it was ending. Your professor would have some sort of family emergency or something and leave his office early. Defeat evident on your face, you just sigh before it turns into an unamused laugh, causing Mingyu to furrow his brows in surprise.
âIâno. I meanâŠyeah. Sure. Itâs fine.â
Mingyu wasnât a rocket scientist but he was pretty sure that everything wasn't, in fact, fine. Taking a step forward to look down the hall in either direction, he sighs before reaching out to take your arm and pulling you towards him into the office.
"Clearly, it isnât. You were coming to talk to Professor Hong for a reason. Whatâs wrong? You look like youâve been crying.â
With his hand falling from your bicep, you listen to the click of the door behind you before you find the courage to look up at Mingyu as his eyes search your face. He looked legitimately concerned and that confused you. You knew he took his position seriously but this wasnât his job. Sighing, you reach into your bag and take out your quiz, offering it to a confused Mingyu, who takes the paper into his hands, looking it over as his features soften.
You hadnât had the chance to look at him closely before. Sure, he had stopped in front of your desk many times and you had to approach him to do things but never like this. He was handsome, even more so than you had realized. His hair had been cut in the past month or so and you remembered almost wanting to mourn the moment he had walked into class with the shorter hair until he smiled and you realized he could pull off any hair style.
âY/NâŠokâŠI get it, but itâs just a quiz. Professor Hong will let you retake it if you really want to. He lets Soonyoung redo his all the time and he isnât half as dedicated to the class as you are.â
Trying to force yourself to look anywhere but into Mingyuâs eyes you move them lower over his face to his nose as you speak. Your voice wavering as you try to keep yourself from crying. It wasnât that you didnât believe him and that you didnât understand how insignificant a single quiz was but to you it was important.
âIâyeah I know. Thatâs what I wanted to talk to him about. I donât want to fucâmess up my GPA. One quiz could do that, you know what I mean?â
Mingyu watches your brows furrow as you seem to avoid his eyes in place of focusing on his face. He was beginning to wonder if he had something on it. Had something had eaten earlier gotten stuck in his teeth or was something on his nose? Reaching up he taps the end of his nose to check, only drawing your attention to it more directly as he sighs into his words.
âWell, listenâŠI can just send you home with another quiz. Iâll send Professor Hong a mess ââ
Your gasp causes Mingyuâs words to fall silent on his lips as you stare at him in a mixture of horror and surprise. Something about him had felt familiar and up until that moment you hadnât been sure what it was. The structure of his face was so similar to someone you knew or recognized but then that freckle on the end of his nose, youâd know it anywhere. ariespic_46 had that freckle. It was unique and along with everything else about Mingyu that screamed that he was the same person your heart was in your throat and you felt sick.
âAre you alright? Holy shit you scared me⊠Did I say something wrong? Why are you looking at me like ââ
Your eyes were searching over his face but the moment your eyes met Mingyuâs again your bag fell to the floor leading you down with it. Your hushed apologies caused Mingyu to scoff under his breath. You had never been this nervous around him before, it was almost like you had seen him for the first time.
The thought dawned on Mingyu as he leaned down to help you with your bag picking up your phone seeing the back of it adorned with butterflies. Running his thumb over the pattern he couldnât help but tilt his head to the side in thought listening to your mutters about how clumsy you were. You had never been clumsy in class before. Maybe you had really seen him for the first time.
âThis is cute. Butterflies?â Waiting for you to look at him and your fingers to be on the phone, Mingyu takes his chance to see your reaction as his brow lifts in question, âëëčë€?â
Tugging your phone free from his grip you swallow hard hearing the word on Mingyuâs lips. You were even more certain now and you were beginning to wonder if you werenât the only one.
âYes, I meanâŠ.I like them. Theyâre pretty.â
Smirking a bit, Mingyu lifts his hand to brush over his lips pushing the smirk away as he turns to pick up a blank quiz before offering it to you. Making an appreciative sound, the man nods letting you take the paper from his hand as he sighs, his attitude having shifted almost suddenly into something a bit more dangerous, making you feel like the room was closing in on you. Mingyu watches you back towards the door, your tongue swiping your lips as he leans against the desk, his fingers running over the back of his hand, similar to how you had seen him act on stream when he was thinking about what to do next.
âLeaving?â
Nodding, you reach behind you for the door handle. Finding it takes you two tries without looking to find it. Mingyuâs soft chuckle sends a shiver down your spine but you do your best not to react to it outright; instead, you just smile at him and bow your head before sneaking out and closing the door harder than necessary.
âOh my godâŠâ
You were whining under your breath as you sped down the hall back towards the commons, where Sumin had waited for you. A smile on her lips until she sees the terrified look on your face, causing her eyes to widen and her hands to find your shaking frame.
âWhatâs wrong? Did he say no? Are you failing?â
There was no way you could explain this to her so instead, you just shake your head and show her the blank quiz, letting her breathe a breath of relief. With Suminâs arm wrapped around your shoulders, the girl leads you out of the door towards the chilly outdoors when you feel your cellphone vibrate with a notification.
ariespic_46 says: Special live tonight! You wonât want to miss it. đŠ
It wasnât a DM but instead a notification to all of his subscribers. Was he calling you out now? Your mouth felt dry but your thighs pressed together as you tried to walk beside Sumin, listening to her talk about her next date.
Mingyu would have never considered that you would have been Nabi but the fact that you were was making him feel a bit feral. Half the reason he even did the streams was because he felt so pent up. The money was nice but being in the job that he held, it was hard to let loose and date, especially when you had your eye on someone in the class you were the TA for.
You were the inspiration for many of his streams, if not all of them lately. He had subtly mentioned how you seemed to be teasing him from afar but seeing that look in your eye today, it was clear to Mingyu that you had no idea. You were the type of girl who didnât seem to realize when eyes were on her until it was right in her face and if thatâs what it took, well, now he had the opportunity.
Sighing, Mingyu leans back in his chair, smirking to himself as the red light signals that he is live. He knew he was ignoring the stream and the chat but he wasnât really there for them tonightâjust one person. He was waiting for a single name to pop up in the âwatching now.â Grinning as he sees the user name nabi.wings finally flash up at the bottom of the list, Mingyu bites at his bottom lip and lets out a slow, breathy groan. Now he knew you were watching.
âGood evening, pup.â
You take a breath. Mingyu hadnât used pups like normal, just a singular pup. Sitting with your legs crisscrossed on your bed, your laptop opened in front of you, and you licked your lips, shifting nervously. He knew you were there. You watch his smile broaden and your stomach flips with how much it affects you now that you know what his entire face looks like. This was completely different. You should turn off the stream, cancel your subscription, and apologize to him as soon as possible⊠but instead you just let out a soft whimper as Mingyu unbuttonâs his shirt.
âWhy did you run out on me today? Because you realized?â
The chat was confused but some started to chime in that it must be a roleplay situation and started to play along. Mingyuâs eyes scan the chat for you but he doesnât expect you to answer. Instead, he just chuckles at some of the responses that make no sense and glances towards his phone at the DMs he has shared with you in the past.
âYou have been such a dirty little slut. More of a tease than I had even known. You were making me watch you from the front of the room while you played innocent and yet you were watching me the entire time.â
Your hand moves over your face when you feel warmth radiate down your neck. You felt embarrassed. You had no idea you had teased him even once. It had never been your intention. In your mind, you were so far beneath him that you werenât even in his line of sight and yet here he was telling you something different.
âIs this what you did last night too, pup? You watched me play with my cock, then showed up and batted your pretty little lashes at me? You made me want to pin you down on that table in front of everyone just because you look so fucking cute."
Mingyu practically growls as he shimmys out of the white button up you had seen him wearing earlier in the day. You watch him lift his hips, his fingers almost angrily undoing his jeans so he can push them down, leaving him in just his briefs.
âYou know what made it worse? You showed up later. You were desperate. Of course, not for me, but for something, and I wanted to make it better. I hope I did⊠I just wanted to see you smile but instead I got something even better, didnât I, baby?â
Hearing baby on Mingyuâs lips as he palms his cock, twitching and hard under his black briefs, makes you whimper his name under your breath. Sliding your legs apart, you feel your hands tremble as you fight a mental battle with yourself that you quickly lose. The morality of masturbating to your TA talking to you through his camboy stream falls to the wayside as you let your fingers rest between your legs under your pajama pants over your panties.
âMmm, I did. I got to see you all flustered and panicked because you figured it out and so did I. My smart little pup. FuckâŠThis feels good but it'd be so much better if it were your mouth. I think about that all the fucking time when I see your lips.â
Starting to look away from the screen as you feel how wet youâve become through your panties, you stop when Mingyu groans long and slow. You watch as he pushes his briefs down, freeing his obviously painfully hard cock and letting it rest back against his abs.
âIf I called you right now, would you let me come over and fuck your little pussy, pup?â
You knew the question was prompted at you once again but the chat was going crazy with yeses and the offer of their numbers, which only caused Mingyu to chuckle. Shaking his head, Mingyu groans, wrapping his thumb and forefinger under his head, gripping himself loosely, feeling the way he was already throbbing with want.
âI want you to know something, baby. Every time I have fucked my hand recently, itâs been while Iâve been thinking about you.â
Shivering at the thought, you bite down at your lip as you finally slide your panties to the side, letting the pads of your fingertips glide between your wet folds. Your eyes follow Mingyuâs hand as he strokes his cock from base to tip a few times, quiet lewd groans slipping from between his perfect lips.
âEach time Iâve come, Iâve pictured it being on different parts of your body. One night I thought about watching it pool in your mouth on your tongue and I came again. I didn't have a single thing left; it was all dry but fuck, it still felt good because I was thinking about you.â
The image of Mingyu cumming twice at the thought of you was enough to cause you to shiver. You had watched him cum multiple times at this point, even unknowingly but putting a face to the image in front of you made your breath quicken. With two fingers knuckle deep inside of yourself, you whimper his name almost as if you beg him for more, only to watch Mingyu lift his hips and groan seemingly in response.
âWhat I wouldnât give to feel your pussy around me right now. All I hope is that you are touching yourself for me. FuckâŠâ You watch Mingyu laugh and lean his head back, a smirk spreading over his lips as he does. âKnowing youâve been watching and thatâs a possibility. Baby? Did you fuck yourself last night to me and then show up today?â
You were embarrassed but not enough to stop what you were doing; instead, it only made you want it more. You just nod in response, pushing your hips down over your fingers, wishing they were longer and thicker like how Mingyuâs looked wrapped around his cock. You could feel your mouth watering, imagining sitting over his lap as he said all the dirty things he was saying now to your face.
âIâm getting close, pup. Look at what you do to me. Oh fuckâŠâ
Eyes trained on Mingyu, you rock your hips against your hand, feeling yourself getting just as close when thick white ropes shoot out to cover his abs and hand. That was a more intense orgasm than you had seen in a long time. There was so much cum that the chat was feral, the amount of tips quickly rising as Mingyu licks his lips, lazily running his hand along his shaft, letting himself soften in his own grip.
Meanwhile, you close your eyes, feeling your own climax overtake you, Mingyuâs name once again slipping from between your lips like a prayer. Your thighs shaking, you fall back against your pillows, carefully sliding your fingers from your sweatpants, before glancing back to the laptop screen to watch Mingyu smile as he comes down from his high.
âI gotta go. Clearly, I have to get cleaned up; Iâm a fucking mess. Iâll talk to you soon.â
And with that, the screen went black, leaving you in a quiet room with your racing thoughts. Eyes on your ceiling, your body jerks when your cellphone chimes with the sound of a notification. You werenât sure what you had expected it to be but seeing a DM from Mingyu on the SVThub app still made you feel anxious.
ariespic_46: did you have fun? [picture attached]
ariespic_46: [picture attached]
The first picture causes you to swallow hard as you look at his still softening cock resting in his palm, cum splattered over what you could see of his abs and his hand. The second picture takes your breath away, making you falter in responding for longer than you intended.
Now if you had any questions or second thoughts about him being ariespic_46, those were thrown out the window as you stared at the half naked selfie you had been graced with.
ariespic_46: are you okay?
nabi.wings: iâm okay. this is just insaneâŠ
ariespic_46: ik but if I text you, are you going to freak out?
What kind of question was that? He had your number, yes but he had only sent you texts related to your course. Swallowing hard, you whine and kick your legs at your mattress as if it had offended you as your thumbs move across the screen of your phone.
nabi.wings: noâŠ
ariespic_46: sounds reassuring, but Iâll take it.
A new notification popping up at the top of your screen makes your stomach flip as you see his name and not some username he was hiding behind, just Kim Mingyu.
Kim Mingyu: hey, baby. wait, thatâs probably too forward, but maybe not.
You had clearly entered another dimension if Kim Mingyu was texting you things like âhey babyâ on a Thursday night. Licking your lips and feeling like they were suddenly too dry, you slide up in bed, trying to keep your wits about you as you clear your throat.
Y/N: honestly, this is so fucking weird at this point. idk what is forward anymore. i feel like i should be apologizing but you did just send me a pic of your dick not 10 mins ago.
Running his palm along the back of his neck, Mingyu grimaces a bit to your message even if he canât help but laugh at the entire scenario. Surely there was some hilarity to it all, even for you.
Kim Mingyu: you didnât like it? seemed to like all the ones i had sent before.
Y/N: that was before i knew they were you!
Kim Mingyu: knowing itâs me makes you not like them?
That wasn't what you meant at all. Closing your eyes for a moment, you lean your head back against your headboard, taking in a deep breath and trying to compose yourself.
Y/N: you are who you areâŠand Iâm who I am. isnât that weird or inappropriate? why the fuck do you have a camboy show to begin with?
Chuckling to himself as he pulls his pajama pants up to his hips, Mingyu reads over your response, trying to imagine what you are doing at that exact moment. He imagines how flustered you might be and how cute you were, flustered, in Joshuaâs office earlier that day.
Kim Mingyu: i have the show because it feeds a few of my kinks and helps me unwind. is there a rule that says i canât have one? i donât go on there and say my name or current occupation. iâm not a professor, y/n. iâm not your professor.
He had a point. He was just the teacher's aid. He was just out of university himself. That was the entire point. He was interning, learning the ropes from Professor Hong so that one day he could be the professor. Maybe you were looking too deep into this.
Y/N: no, ofc not. you have needs. you should do what you want. 𫣠what sort of kinks is the show feeding you?
Grinning at your text, Mingyu grunts quietly as he lays back on his bed, resting back on his pillows, feeling more relaxed than he had in days.
Kim Mingyu: dirty girl. i didnât expect you to ask but i like it. i like being watched and praised while i can degrade. the chat, most of them like when i call them dirty dumb sluts. what about you? what is my show feeding you, baby?
Turning on your side, you groan into your pillows at Mingyuâs question. Of course, he was going to turn it back on you. What had you expected?
Y/N: idk, i like watching. it is a good way to end the night after a long day in classes to just watch someone incredibly attractive get off and tell me what to do.
Letting out a breath at your response, Mingyu shifts on his bed, feeling his cock trying to twitch back to life. He had to keep himself in check for now. Licking his lips, Mingyu rolls his neck and takes a moment to plan out his response before finally giving in.
Kim Mingyu: you want me to tell you what to do when you are stressed out, baby girl? (if this is too weird, tell me to shut up but you miss 100% of shots you donât take or whatever that bullshit is, right?)
Your face was instantly on fire at Mingyuâs response until you read the end, which caused you to laugh. God he was an idiot. How was this the same man writing the beginning of the message and the end?
Y/N: what if I do? you going to keep doing it over a screen? (I like it, you weirdo)
His canines catch his bottom lip, and Mingyu lets out another breath. There was no way in hell he wasnât going to latch on to your seeming burst of confidence.
Kim Mingyu: not if you let me take you out and bring you home tomorrow? I can only assume you live in shared housing. am I right?
He was asking you out or was this just a booty call? Did it really matter? You could feel your thighs burning at the idea of being with him. Swallowing hard, you glance towards your door as you hear your roommates laughing loudly from the shared living room, almost as if on cue for his question.
Y/N: I share an apartment. would probably look odd to bring the TA back to my apartment and my bedroom. my last class is at 3 tomorrowâŠ
Kim Mingyu: then loan me your afternoon and night and Iâll make it worth your time, baby. I wonât lie... Iâve wanted this for a long time.
You had to be insane to be thinking about saying yes but as you type out your response, you find yourself smiling, your feet kicking into your comforter like a teenager accepting her first date.
Y/N: thatâs a big claim but sounds like a date.
A date. Mingyu reads your text a few times before smirking, wondering if you had meant to say it like that. Either way, he was enjoying it. You, on the other hand, were wondering if you should pretend you had meant something else or try to unsend the text but seeing his read status, you knew it was too late.
Kim Mingyu: itâs a date. Iâll see you after class. goodnight đŠ
Pursing your lips around your straw, you take a drink of your coffee, furrowing your brows as you lean back in the chair in the commonâs area. Your last class let out a bit early so you werenât expecting Mingyu to pick you up for at least another twenty minutes and Sumin had left you ten minutes ago, muttering something about a guy named Lee Chan.
You were doing some investigations into Kim Mingyu. Before all of this, you had looked at his personal instagram a few times. He was eye candy after all but you had never followed him. You didnât know him well enough for that. As for ariespic_46, you had never followed his Instagram purely on the principle that you didnât want anyone to look at your followers and see a camboyâs Instagram.
Looking at the two Instagrams now, you realize how naive you have been. It wasnât exactly as if Mingyu was hiding it all that well for anyone who really wanted to go digging. His personal Instagram username was gyu.46 and his camboy Instagram was the same as the one he used on SVThub.
There were many times he took photos in the same place and just blurred his face or added a hat before posting them to one account or another. The thing that hit you the hardest was the fact that he used the photo he had sent you the night before as his current Instagram profile picture and you knew the truth behind it. Perhaps to his friends and followers, he would look like he was just taking a shirtless selfie but you knew better.
Groaning to yourself, you hit the button on the side of your phone to turn off the display, putting away the photos that were starting to drive you insane. In place of them, you find yourself staring at the floor in front of you as you finish off the last of your coffee when a set of feet stop in front of you and you hear the amusement in a manâs breath.
âZoning out?â
Mingyu. That was the first thought in your mind before you even looked up to see him. You had told him you would come out to meet him but either you had missed a text or he had just chosen on his own to come find you. Glancing back down to your phone, you furrow your brows when you donât see any missed text before looking back up at him, confused.
âI was walking by and saw you here looking at the floor like it was the Mona Lisa. Ready to go?â
Watching you look around like you are afraid you will get caught, Mingyu laughs, reaching for your hand, causing you to gasp in surprise at the action.
âItâs the last day of classes before a three day weekend, baby. You are literally one of the last people in this building. The rest of the students are out finding something fun to do. Letâs do the same thing.â
Your cheeks were burning as you pulled yourself closer to Mingyu to keep your hand and his hidden from anyone who might be looking. You werenât sure why it really mattered but it was still making you feel self conscious. You were both adults. You could date one another if you wanted to.
âWhere are we going?â
When you finally speak, Mingyu grins, glancing down at you before gesturing towards his car parked near the staff parking lot, which causes you to whine.
âIâY/NâŠWhere did you expect me to be parked? Two blocks down? Hidden from sight? You act like we are committing some sort of crime.â
Mingyu sighs only to laugh when you pout up at him, feeling bad for putting him in a difficult situation. You watch him unlock his car and pull open the passenger side door before he finally lets go of your hand in place of running in over his short locks.
âYou are so fucking cute. Just get in⊠ We can talk about where we are going once we are on the road.â
He wanted to kiss you already. You were still pouting a bit and your lips looked so kissable. They looked a bit bitten with the color you had worn today and all Mingyu could imagine was leaving you breathless and your lips swollen from kissing them so much.
Nodding, you take one last look around before dropping your bag into the floorboard and sliding into the passenger seat, only to marvel a bit at how nice the car actually was. You knew what his job was and you knew he couldnât be getting paid that much but then the thought dawned on you that you saw the amount of tips he was pulling in for his streams and that didnât cover the money he was probably getting from other avenues.
Sliding behind the wheel with a soft grunt, Mingyu reaches up to pull down his sunglasses from his visor to put them on before glancing over at you with a small cheeky grin. You recognized those too. He had been wearing them in a selfie he had taken on his Instagram; they were Chanel and you could only imagine how much something like that could cost.
âNice glassesâŠâ
Shrugging, Mingyu backs out of his spot and pulls his car out onto the road, letting his palm rest on the gearshift as his fingers lazily drum a gentle beat onto the stereo display.
âThank you. They were a gift.â
A gift. Pursing your lips, you glance out the window with a nod, wondering who would be buying him Chanel sunglasses. Mingyu watches as you play with a ring on your index finger, twisting it out of nerves or just lost in thought.
âDo you want to know by who?â
You scoff before even realizing it is coming out of your mouth, causing Mingyu to laugh as he glances over at you once again.
âWow, jealous? They were a gift from my sister. She works in the fashion industry and sometimes gets things for free. This was one of them. I said I liked them so she told me to keep them.â
Biting your tongue, you feel the heat rising in your face as you glance over to Mingyu, seeing him still smiling at you. He didnât look mad; he was just amused. You had no reason or excuse to be jealous. You barely knew him, even if it felt like you had known him forever. Watching his shows didnât mean that you knew the real him.
âSorry. I really donât know whatâs wrong with me today.â
Mingyu shrugs, leaning his head back on the headrest, before offering you another smile. He knew it was going to be awkward at first. There was no way it couldnât be. It wasnât like he had made this very easy for you in the first place.
âItâs fine. You can only take what you see at face value and itâs not like Iâve given you probably the best new first impression of me.â
Shaking your head, you turn towards Mingyu, slightly letting out a breath as you really give him a once over. He was handsomeâincredibly handsome. You already knew that from your classes but you had never really had the chance to just look at him up close for this long. But now you could tell even more that he and the camboy of your dreams were the same person. From the freckle on the tip of his nose to the curve of his lips.
âBut I shouldnât assume. Itâs just⊠ Your car is really nice and your glasses are nice. Iâve seen the tips you make for your shows so I assumed you had a sugar momma or something.â
Mingyuâs smile makes it impossible for you not to smile in return. Your eyes travel over his jaw, up to his lips and to the tips of his canines that you remember obsessing over in his shows. Tightening his grip on the wheel, Mingyu chuckles quietly and shakes his head.
âNo, no sugar mommas for me. The subscriptions, tips, and revenue from a couple of sponsorships bought this car and my apartment. I do alright.â
You had to admit that watching him like this, explaining his cam show like a job, was attractive. The idea of sponsorships blew your mind but then, as you thought back on it, there were a few well placed product names in his shows and the same brands were mentioned more than once. He was smart and that was something that made your stomach tighten with desire and anticipation.
âMmâŠWhere are we going? You never told me.â
Nodding, Mingyu glances back over to you, letting his eyes follow the length of your body turned slightly sideways in your seat to face him before he takes a breath at your thighs.
âGonna pick up an early dinner and head over to my apartment. Call me selfish but Iâd like to be alone with you.â
Your stomach was doing flips. You knew he had said he wanted to take you back to his apartment the night before but in practice, it was daunting. Biting your lip as you look down, you can only nod, muttering out a meek okay in response. Mingyu grins, shaking his head at how shy you get, his hand tightening on the gearshift to keep him from reaching over and tilting your head back up towards him.
âCuteâŠâ
With bags in either hand and his keys hanging on his fingers, Mingyu grins at you as you watch him with a slight smile on your lips. You had watched him struggle to open his door but he had shooed you away, insisting he could handle it. Shaking your head, you follow him, glancing around his apartment as Mingyu stops to drop the bags onto the counter.
âMake yourself at home.â
Letting out a sigh, you lift your brows, feeling a bit overwhelmed with being in his space. It was a nice placeânothing incredibly fancyâbut you could tell he was paying a pretty penny for it. Mingyu watches you wander for a moment as he takes the containers out of the bags, turning to take out a couple plates before clearing his throat.
âSo I have water, some juice, uh..." Smiling as you turn back towards the kitchen, watching Mingyu turn suddenly domestic as he moves to his fridge, opening it to look at his drink options before he nods and continues his list. âMilk, protein powder, you know if you are into that sort of thing... or beer.â
Resting your arms on the counter, you laugh softly, meeting Mingyuâs eyes as he takes out a beer for himself, waiting for your answer. He smiles as his eyes drop to your lips as your teeth catch your bottom lip for a brief second, only to let it go with a soft sigh.
âBeer is good, though you tempted me with the protein powder.â
Laughing, Mingyu takes out a second beer, popping the cap open before sliding it to you as you glance at the large container of protein powder you had joked about, making him glance in its direction as you do.
âWho needs that much anyway?â
âIâme. People who work out regularly.â
Lifting your brow, you bring your beer to your lips, taking a sip and noticing how Mingyuâs eyes never leave you. Even as you lick your lips clean, his eyes seem to follow the swipe of your tongue over your lips before he picks up his beer to take a longer sip, his shoulders falling as if he is letting himself relax.
âAs many gym selfies as you post, you must work out every day, Mingyu.â
You watch Mingyuâs head tilt, the corner of his lips lifting in a smirk as you peak his curiosity.
âYou been looking at my Instagram?â
Shaking your head, you pull the stool out from the island to slide onto it as Mingyu works to plate the food. A shit eating look is on his face as you purse your lips, trying to think of how you would handle his question. There really was no reason to lie.
âBoth of them, actually. I looked at them today. I didnât follow them, so donât get too excited.â
Mingyu bites at his cheek, sliding a plate towards you but itâs obvious that he is amused. He loved the idea of scrolling through his pictures, which made him think of the pictures he knew he had sent you in the past without even knowing it was you.
âThatâs okay, babe. You donât have to follow me. You can see the real thing anytime you want now.â
Your fork lifted midbite, and you stopped to look at Mingyu, feeling your cheeks burning. You knew you should be turned off by such a fuckboy response but you weren't when you had been watching his show for months at this point. Swallowing your saliva, you look at your plate, opting to take a breath before finally eating the food off the fork as Mingyu watches you with a smile on his face.
He was hungry but nothing on his plate was going to fill him up when you were sitting across his kitchen island from him. Even so, Mingyu kept himself in check, taking large bites of chicken and following it with a swig from his beer as you ate much slower, trying to keep your eyes averted from his watchful gaze.
âAre you that nervous around me? After all weâve been through together already."
Scoffing against the lip of your beer bottle, you finally meet Mingyuâs eyes but you find that might have been a mistake when he smirks at you and you feel your stomach tighten. He was perfect. You had never had anyone look at you the way he did. Yes, he was looking at you like you were a meal but also like you were the only person on the planet, despite knowing there were thousands of girls in his chat daily watching his show begging for him.
âYou didnât know it was me and I wouldnât call that going through something together. Iâve seen a lot more of you than you have of me, Gyu.â
Mingyuâs lips pick up at one side when you shorten his name. Leaning down to rest his arms on the counter, the man leans across it slightly towards you, glancing over your face, down to your covered breasts and back up to your eyes.
âGyu? I like that.â Licking his lips, Mingyu tilts his head, gauging his next words, before smiling at you sweetly. âYouâre right. Youâve seen my dick plenty of times but Iâve pictured you naked probably twice as many times. Thought about you on my dick, choking on it. You've heard all the shit Iâve said on my shows.â
He wasnât wrong; youâd listened to his dirty talk and what he had said to the girl he fantasized about that you wished had been you. It was like a cruel turn of fate that it was you at this point. Furrowing your brows at Mingyuâs words, you shift on the stool, trying to fight the urge to push your thighs together as he recounts his dirty thoughts in front of you.
While you thought your movements were subtle, Mingyuâs eyes dropped immediately to your lap as he took a breath, pushing back from the island to stand at his full height. That was something you were still coming to terms with. You knew the man you were watching on the stream was large and you knew that Mingyu was a big man but seeing him in front of you like he was now was enough to take your breath away.
The way you were looking at Mingyu was making him feel even more feral than he had when you were trying to hide how you were rubbing your thighs together. Now he was fighting the urge to pounce on you where you sat.
âWhatâs the matter, pup? You are squeezing those thighs a lot. Did I say something you liked? Are you still hungry?â
Putting your fork down, you shift once again onto the stool as Mingyu moves around the kitchen to stand beside you, his hand resting on top of the counter. He was intimidating; not in a way that you thought he was a threat, but  more in a way that you knew you could lose yourself around him.
Swallowing hard, you lift your head, daring to look into his eyes as Mingyu bites down on his bottom lip, his head tilting as he waits for you to speak up. He wasnât impatient, at least not yet. This is why he has asked for your afternoon. Afternoons could lead into nights and he had plenty of food and water to keep you sustained.
âIâmaybeâŠâ
Lifting his free hand to trail his fingers along your arm, Mingyu watches your lips fall open when he reaches your shoulder.
âMaybe? Are you this shy?â
Mingyu listens to a soft whine slip from between your lips when he takes a step towards you, his hand sliding along the side of your neck. His touch was light but he knew he was crowding your space now. But you werenât running from him. Instead of turning towards him, you were leaning your head back, your back was arching, and his mouth was starting to water.
âAw, baby⊠I remember what you told me last night. You want to be told what to do, donât you? You donât want to think, do you?â
Your eyes close at Mingyuâs words, your tongue running over your suddenly very dry lips at the idea of what he was saying to you as you felt his thumb pressing against the junction of your jaw and throat. When you nod, Mingyu groans under his breath, his fingers pressing into the back of your neck and pulling you up slightly as he leans down to brush his lips over yours as he speaks.
âThen just do what I tell you to do today. You donât have to think about anything. Iâve got you.â
Falling back onto Mingyuâs bed, a breath slips from your lips as you look up at him, his knee resting between your legs. Most of your clothes had been discarded in the process of making it from the kitchen to Mingyuâs bedroom. Where you had been filled with apprehension before, all that was left was desire as the man you had been watching for months grinned down at you in appreciation of what he was seeing.
âEven better than I could have imagined. FuckâŠI hope you donât have any plans for tomorrow, pup.â
You laugh quietly, not answering the question outright, as Mingyu leans down to press his lips to the top of your breast as his hand snakes behind your back to unclasp your bra. Feeling the garment give way, you lift your body slightly, letting him help you shimmy out of it, earning you another deep growl from his chest as he sees your breasts fully.
âPleaseâŠâ
Your soft pleads were like an injection straight into Mingyuâs veins, causing him to get a renewed sense of purpose and energy. He had a feeling that he could feel spent, having fucked you multiple times, but if you said please to him like you just had, he would be hard in no time and have you pinned back on his bed.
âPlease what? Do you even know?â
When you shake your head, Mingyu laughs into a groan. You were already so far gone and he had barely touched you. You were perfect. Sliding his hands along your sides, he works his fingers into the elastic of your pants, rocking them along your hips before tugging them down your legs so that you would be naked on his bed, just like he had pictured so many times before.
Taking a step back, Mingyu runs his hand over his mouth at the image in front of him. He was still fully clothed and perhaps thatâs what made this even better. He could feel his cock pressing hard against his jeans, twitching every time you squirmed on the bed, begging for him to come back to you.
âI will, baby. Be patient. Shh, let me justâfuck. Let me look at you. I wanna remember this.â
Fingers scratching at the comforter under you and pulling it into your palms, you whimper as you feel your arousal begin to run from between your folds from just the desire to be touched. You didnât want to wait but you also didnât want to do anything Mingyu didnât want you to do. It was almost embarrassing if you let yourself think about it how quickly you let yourself give into the idea of being his.
Shedding his shirt and jeans, Mingyu kicks the clothes from his path before doing the same with his briefs, only to stop short of his bed when he seems to come back to his senses. No matter how much he wanted you, he still had to be sure how he was going about this. He may want to lose himself in the moment but you were too important.
âBabyâŠOpen your eyes. Hey, look at me. I have to ask you a question.â
Pouting, you force your eyes open and look at Mingyu as he leans on the bed with one knee. Leaning into his hand as he brushes his fingers over your hair, you look into Mingyuâs eyes as he searches your face to make sure you are paying attention before he smiles and nods.
âAre you on birth control?â Watching you nod, Mingyu nods along with you before following it up with his second question. âDo you want me to wear a condom?â
That one makes you furrow your brows; you didnât want to think about it, but Mingyuâs hand on your cheek, keeping your attention on his face, helps you focus as he tilts his head. A small sound of question from his mouth when you pause causes you to blink a few times as you consider it but then you think about his cum in all of his selfies and shake your head.
âNo? You want me to come inside of you?â
âPlease?â
âFuckâ is all Mingyu can think as his cock twitches, leaking onto his bedding when you basically beg him to cum inside of you. It was what he had wanted but he would have done whatever you wanted. Lowering his head, Mingyu smiles and nods, taking a breath to calm himself. You nudge your cheek into his hand, making Mingyu lift his head and look at you again.
âOkay. I just had to check. I know I said I'd do whatever to you, but if you ever want me to stop, just say red, okay? Think of a stop light, got it? Iâll listen to you.â
You nod and Mingyu feels like he is going to melt at how cute and perfect you look. He wanted to fuck you but he also wanted to keep you forever. He wanted to keep you in this bed and in his life. Shaking his head, Mingyu laughs to push the thought to the side for now as he leans to press his lips to yours, giving you a firm but sweet kiss that seems to help relax your mind right back to where it had been before he made you focus.
Groaning against your lips, Mingyu pulls back to look down at you as you slowly open your eyes, blinking up at him in anticipation. He wanted to ruin you for anyone else. Shaking his head, Mingyu pushes back on the bed, leaning on one arm so he can trail his hand along the length of your side as he just admires your body in full.
He could see you were rubbing your thighs together and it was driving him crazy. He had to see how wet you really were for him. Mingyu could hear the soft moans in your throat every time your hips lifted and your thighs pressed together so when he forced one of your legs to the side, all he could do was scoff.
âYouâre making a mess of my bed, pup.â
The words make you whine, your neck and face heating up with embarrassment. Mingyu just grins, running his thumb along your slit and lightly feeling you jerk under his touch as you start to apologize.
âWhy are you apologizing? I donât want that⊠youâre beautiful. I can change my bed but this is a treat. Just watching you drip for me.â
You wanted him to do more than just watch. You needed more than just his light touch. You wanted all he had promised but your brain felt fuzzy and you were in no position, nor did you want to be, to tell him what to do as Mingyu smiled at you.
âShitâŠJust look at you. All of this for me?â
It was phrased like a question but Mingyu knew you werenât going to answer as he ran his index finger between your folds, collecting a bit of your arousal on his finger. He looks back into your eyes as he brings his finger to his lips, sucking it clean with an approving groan to your taste. He had known you were going to taste good. There was no way in his mind that you wouldn't; he just wasnât prepared for how good you tasted.
Sliding down the bed, Mingyu wraps his arms around the back of your thighs, using his strength to tug your body closer to him. Looking up at the span of your body, Mingyu smiles, meeting your eyes even as his breath fans over your wet folds. You moan, feeling his fingertips press into your hips as he looks at your pussy so closely, hunger dripping from his eyes.
Without another word, Mingyu runs his tongue from your entrance to the top of your mouth, awarding himself with a drawn out moan from your parted lips. A shiver rolls through Mingyuâs body at the feeling of you against his tongue and the taste of you in his mouth. This had been his fantasy for so long that it was almost overwhelming to have it come true.
âOh my god, baby..."
Mingyuâs words are a whisper but speaking so closely against your skin causes you to arch against his mouth, urging him to continue what he had started. Not wanting to keep you waiting, Mingyu just smiles against your pussy, then groans as his face relaxes and he runs his tongue from your dripping hole up into your soft folds, collecting your sweet arousal.
Your hands claw at the bedding as you feel the fire starting to burn in your abdomen and thighs. Mingyuâs left hand slides back under your leg to rest under his mouth as his lips wrap around your clit, sucking gently. You whine his name, trying to lift your hips, when you feel his finger press into your entrance, only for your walls to clench around the digit as soon as itâs in.
âNeedy⊠Were you clenching around nothing before?â
You nod and Mingyu laughs, his lips brushing over your sensitive clit, causing you to shift your hips away from him only to be pushed back down by his right hand, still holding you tightly. Slowly and gently, a second finger presses in beside the first before Mingyu pulls his fingers back towards his palm, listening to your breathy moans. You were angelic and he was struggling to not go too fast and fuck his fingers into you at a brutal pace just to watch you gush around them.
âSo fucking warm and soft. I could get addicted to this, pup. Imagine if this is what they saw on my stream. My fingers fucking your pussy... God, theyâd lose their fucking minds. What if they just got a picture of my fingers buried inside of you?â
When you tighten around his fingers, Mingyu grins, leaning to kiss your thigh, pushing his fingers into you deeper, and turning his hand so that his thumb can rub circles around your swollen clit.
âYou like that? You want me to take that picture?â
Glancing around his bed, Mingyu watches you nod out of the corner of his eye before he reaches for his phone with his right hand, only leaning back enough to snap the picture before leaning back down to spit on your pussy and his fingers and repeating the process.
âI donât know if I want to share them or be greedy as fuck.â
You feel the phone hit the bed but you donât care to look as you feel Mingyuâs thumb push around his spit and your arousal. Your orgasm was right on the edge and it was clear that he could tell with the intensity that took over him. He wanted your orgasm as much as you did.
His mouth back on your pussy, Mingyu groans your name as he feels your walls tighten around his fingers. He could feel your cum around his fingers and he wanted it on his tongue. He wanted you on his lips. You whine about the loss of his fingers but the feeling of his tongue pressing into you makes up for any loss you once felt as Mingyuâs tongue all but fucks your cum back into you.
Feeling your fingers running through his hair, Mingyu pulls back a dazed look in his eyes to see your chest rising and falling quickly as you come down from your orgasm. Your thighs were twitching and even the lightest touch to your folds would grant him a high pitched whine from your lips.
âSo damn sensitive. I could listen to that all day. Are you okay?â
Nodding, you run your fingers along Mingyuâs side and then along his abs as he moves to lean over you. Mingyuâs lips glide over yours in a slow, deep kiss that seems almost too sensual for two people who barely knew each other but neither of you pull away. Instead, Mingyu smiles against your lips first when he feels your fingers running along his skin along his chest a few moments later, your knee resting against his hip and his mind pictures doing this a year from now.
âCome here, pup. I want to see that pretty ass.â
Sliding back on the bed, Mingyu helps you roll over on your stomach, his hand sliding around your stomach as you move to your knees. He watches as you rest your cheek on your arms, keeping your ass up in the air for him. It was a perfect image and his cock was leaking heavily at how perfect you were. Running his hand along your ass, Mingyu lifts it quickly only to bring it down once, rubbing over the spot as you gasp and whine at the feeling of him spanking you.
âComfortable?â
It was a real question but Mingyu just smirked as you hummed in response instead of actually answering him. You were so far gone; he could do almost anything to you and you would be just fine at this point. Leaning down, Mingyu presses a kiss on your ass before moving to his knee and gripping his cock with his left hand so he can line himself up with you and ease himself in slowly.
Furrowing your brows, you dig your nails into your arm at the feeling of the stretch, even as Mingyu goes slowly. Your mind was blank up until the moment he started to thrust into you and now all you saw were stars. All there was in your mind was Mingyu and his cock. Gasping for a breath, you press your forehead down into the bedding, letting out a moan when Mingyuâs hips rest against your ass, his fingers digging into your hips.
âShhâŠIâll just stay here. Youâre doing so good, baby. Holy shit, you feel so good. Let me know if itâs too much.â
The painful stretch fades almost as quickly as it hit you, a euphoric, full feeling taking over and you find yourself wanting him to move. You find yourself wanting to be filled over and over again by him until you are full of his cum. You feel your cheeks burning in embarrassment at your own thoughts, even as Mingyu groans, leaning his head back, feeling your pussy clamping around him as you think about him feeling you up.
âIâIâm gonna move. Youâre killing me. Gonna make me cum too fast if I donât. Itâs like you want my cum right now. Is that it, baby? Huh?â
With his hips meeting yours in rhythmic motions, Mingyu runs his left hand along your back soothingly as you whimper his name, almost like a prayer getting drunk off of him. You werenât answering his questions but he didnât need the answers when your pussy was talking for you. He could feel you were getting closer, just like you had around his fingers.
Leaning over your back, Mingyu runs his mouth over your shoulder as his hips rut against your ass, pushing his cock deeply inside of you as he listens to your cries, not realizing tears were actually falling over your cheeks from the overwhelming pleasure. It isnât until Mingyu leans back, pulling your back against his chest so he can rest his cheek against your head, that he realizes that you are crying and it makes him slow only for a moment.
âColor, Y/N?â
Muttering green three times, you wrap your hand around Mingyu's, which rests over your stomach, keeping him close to you. With the assurance that you are okay, Mingyu rests his lips against your temple and rolls his hips up hard and fast against your ass, feeling your cum running down his cock as the coil inside of you snaps.
Watching you orgasm was one of Mingyuâs new favorite things in the world. It ranked up there with eating his favorite foods and watching his favorite movies. Right now, he would put it at the top of the list as his own climax teetered at the edge until you turned your head to look at him and your lips parted, a fucked out look on your face and he knew he did that.
You knew the signs of Mingyuâs climax. The way his voice would change, the way his mouth would part, and now you knew the look in his eyes when it happened. That was your favorite part and it didnât matter how far gone you were in your own orgasm, you would never forget that look as the warmth of Mingyuâs cum began to fill you up and spill out onto your thighs with each of his thrusts.
âGyuâŠâ
He couldnât handle you saying his name like that. Not while he was cumming inside of you this hard. Leaning you back down onto the bed, Mingyu groans into your ear, burying himself deep inside of you with one last thrust. With both of his arms caging you down onto the bed, Mingyu tries to catch his breath as he feels you trying to do the same under his weight.
After another moment of silence, Mingyu listens to your soft whimper when his cock slips from you and he moves to lay beside you. It sounded like you were disappointed to be empty and that was almost devastating. How could he stand this? You were going to be the death of him.
"Baby, fuck, are you okay?â
You smile and Mingyu melts once again. You looked so happy and at peace. You had said you didnât like to think and he had accomplished that. Running his hand over your back, Mingyu smiles, leaning to press a kiss to your lips, feeling you return the kiss.
Your brows furrow, feeling the bed shift but you canât find the strength to open your eyes but somehow you know Mingyuâs not in the bed with you anymore. Itâs colder and there is a missing weight. You were enjoying his weight. He was like a perfect weighted blanket. A frown quickly takes over your expression as you whine and try to turn over, finding yourself exhausted.
âNo, noâŠshhh. Iâm just in the bathroom. Iâm starting the shower. Iâll carry you. Then Iâll change the bed and we can get back in bed.â
Who were you to argue with any of that?
Several hours later, you wake up to a warm sheet and a heavy arm covering your body. The smell of bodywash that wasnât yours fills your nose but then the memories of Mingyu washing your body flood your memories and you canât help but smile as your cheeks burn. It hadnât been a dream. None of it had.
You can feel the soreness in your thighs and in between your legs but its a good pain. The pain you wonât regret.
Turning in Mingyuâs arms, you watch him sleep for a moment, unable to stop the way your lips pull up into another smile as he smacks his lips in his sleep as he starts to wake up. You hadnât meant to wake him up but just the movement was enough.
His eyelids flutter open, and Mingyuâs lips pull up slowly, seeing you awake and more coherent. You had been so out of it during the shower and he had barely gotten you to drink part of a bottle of water but now your eyes were bright and you were smiling at him. That made him feel good.
âHeyâŠâ
Mingyu watches you bury your nose against the pillow and he canât help but chuckle at how shy you are, even after he had fucked you dumb in his bed just a few hours earlier.
âStop that. Come here.â
Pulling you towards him, Mingyu presses his lips against yours and feels you melt into the kiss and against his body. He was so warm; you felt safe but a bit out of place and confused about what came next.
âThatâs nice.â
You smile and nod in agreement, causing Mingyu to lean his head back and look at you.
âTalk to me. Whatâs on your mind, babe?"
âWhatâŠdo I just go home now?â
Laughing, Mingyu shakes his head before rolling on his back and looking up at the ceiling, letting you rest on his arm under your head.
âI donât want you to. I mean, hell. I took pictures of you during sex and I wonât lieâŠone of you sleeping. I donât just take pictures of random girls on my phone. I want to do this again. Not just the sex. The date part. I like you, Y/N.â
Turning on Mingyuâs arm, you smile but try to hide it, only causing Mingyu to feel your warm cheek drawing his attention to you. With another laugh, Mingyu reaches over to push at your warm cheek playfully as he bites at his lip, furrowing his brow questioningly.
âWhat do you want to do?â
Nudging your cheek against his fingers, you smile and pull your legs up under the covers, feeling a bit smaller at his question. You knew what you wanted but even hearing his confession, it felt silly. It took looking into his eyes and seeing the vulnerable look there to make you do the same.
âI want to stay. I like you too, Gyu.â
Grinning, Mingyu turns back towards you, leaning to kiss you once more and reaching to tilt your face more towards his as you laugh against his lips.
âThen itâs settled.â
He was incorrigible but you liked it. Shaking your head, you sigh against his lips, thinking about the other things he had said.
âIt is... also, I want to see the pictures on your phone of me, and maybe you can post one of the pictures to your account.â
His brows lifting, Mingyu feels his cock react to your words. The idea of posting pictures with you was giving him way too many ideas and he wanted to give you time to recharge before he fucked you back into his mattress.
âFuckâŠreally?â
Laughing, you nod as Mingyu runs his nails along the side of your neck and you feel his body press closer to yours.
"Okay, yeah, Iâll get my phone.â
When Mingyu starts to move, you hold on to him and shake your head, making him laugh this time as he looks into your eyes, letting you kiss him this time before you speak on his lips.
âIn a bit, just stay with me for a while longer first.â
Humming against your lips, Mingyu nods and rolls you on your back, deepening the kiss, knowing there was no rush now with you right where he had always pictured you, with him.
© onlymingyus - all rights reserved. Reposting/modifying of any fic, or pieces of original writings posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed
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r people stupid like I just keep seeing more and more people using ai and then asking authors if they can use ai to continue their fics and then more ai and more like im actually so over it whatâs the point of sharing writing and hard work when ppl are just going to act like the person behind it is some kind of robot who didnât put any effort into the fics theyâre writing (which honestly makes sense why there is such an influx in ai when it comes to fanfiction) idk i made this acc a while ago to write and post fics but I donât think im gonna do that anytime soon just because respect is dead and itâs really discouraging to say the least
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on a winter day where our noses are cold, let's meet again wonuđ€
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so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god
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geeked!
drabble of the week: accidentally giving your lazy roomate some aphrodisiac chocolate and getting absolutely destroyed âïž
[nsfw] seonghwa x fem bodied reader, and they were roomates. fingering. hwa is pussydrunk. use of those hormonal chocolates idfk. piv unprotected. wow I'm down bad for this man. I sent this as an ask for another writer with Jeonghan but I suppose they're busy bc it's unanswered till now so enjoy! I just wished my first work on ateez would be smth formal but then I got sick and my connection got cut off (thanks, cyclone). I saw his catwalk and I collapsed I missed dark haired hwa so much
You love your roommate.
You truly do.
Despite him keeping you up at night because he always plays animal crossing or games on your shared living room, and the way his Lego collection eventually took over nearly one fourth of your apartment, and the way he obsessively cleans everything (including judging your habits). At least he fucks well, he always leaves you shaking and whining for himâ despite being lazy. He's not one to do much, opting to let you bounce on him or suck him. Sometimes he'd eat you out, and he'd take his sweet time with it tooâ it just drives you crazy how lazy he can be sometimes.
"hello, roomate" Seonghwa held out a plastic bag full of your stuff in it as you walked into the apartment "I see that you have not thrown your trash away in the past week." His expressions are serious, and he's glaring into your soul as he pinches the tip of the tied trash bag with his neon yellow cleaning gloves.
"oh. They were barely filled and I didn't want to waste plastic bags. Besides they're all dry trash" you comment, this is probably the thousandth time seonghwa had barged into your room to clean. "Well it's still a good habit to throw them away. also, stop piling up trash in the fridge. You keep on buying stuff and never eat them, but the chocolate chip cookies you bought last week tasted good" he comments.
"you ate them?!" You turned towards him. "Hwa, that was meant for a friend who got engaged!" You groaned "I kept it there because it was so hard to get, my god!" You groan and glare at him and he just shrugs "should have put a label on it then." Before turning away to clean the kitchen next.
He's done this multiple times, unfortunately. Scavenging through your room like it's a dumpster and eating your stuff from the fridge. Unluckily for you, a menace friend of yours had given you a special treat.
"what the fuck is this" you stared at Wooyoung, deadpanned. Looking at the small box of chocolates in your hand, it looked fancyâ it's got big cursive letters and plastic wrapping showing the little heart shaped chocolates with pink frosting and sprinkles.
"Aprodhisiac chocolates! They're pretty good" he clapped his hands "there's a buy one get one free deal and I just couldn't pass on it you know, and it's about to expire in three months so that's probably why there's a deal but why wouldn't I share with my best friend?" He clasped his hands together and swayed side to side, you felt your eyes twitch
"what the hell would I need this for?" You'd gawk at him "I don't even have a partner". Wooyoung just laughs and shushes you with his finger, it reeked of chips. Gross. "You and your roommate definitely need some. All that pent up stress is good for nothing you know?" He joked before hopping away happily like a little bunny, leaving you dumbfounded.
You almost threw the damn thing away, but you feel bad for wasting food. So you stored it in the deepest corners of the refrigerator. Never to see it again.
But it made an appearance. Like several days later, much to your dismay.
Slamming the door open after a long day, you groaned as your back ached from hours of doing the shrimp pose (aka crouched in front of a computer) as you saw your roommate, chewing on something as he redecorated his village for the nth time that month. "Welcome back," Seonghwa said "how's your day?"
"Shit." You said, not even looking at him as you head to your room. You're looking forward to sleeping through the entire evening and waking up fresh the next morning. But blessed be the gods you got shaken up around thirty minutes after you face planted to the bed.
"wake. Up" Seonghwa hissed at your face as he shook you, you turned to look at him, squinting at the lights from the hallway like it personally wronged you. If you were one of his yapping villagers from animal crossing you'd have a "?" Emote stuck to your head by now. Seonghwa is flushed, his skin is covered by a sheen layer of sweat. Was he drunk? Got jumpscared by a ghost?
Both?
"What the fuck were those chocolates?" He grips your collar as he stares at you, and you're confused. Mostly because you just woke up. "What chocolates? I don't remember buying any" and he groans "the damn chocolates in the fancy packaging. The heart shaped ones!"
Oh.
Oh shit.
"you fucking idiot, I told you to not eat my food!" you hit his arm "those are aprodhisiac chocolates!" And he looks at you as if his eyes are about to bulge out, "what the hell would you buy those for?!" And you sigh. "I don't know, Wooyoung gave them to me and I felt bad about throwing them away. I was about to leave them and forget about them but then of course you had to be a gluttenous little thing and rummage through my fridge" you hiss at him and he whines "well if you're gonna scold me, can you do it later? I really need some help" he pouts.
And damn. God fucking damn it. Seonghwa had always been the most stable person you know, especially during sex. Sometimes he'd let himself loose by rolling his eyes back and biting his lower lips but this? Boba eyes, furrowed eyebrows and flushed cheeks? You didn't even resist as he pulls you in for a kiss.
It was sloppy, everything Seonghwa never was. Usually a kiss with him was lazy and calculatedâ the wildest thing he ever did was suck on your lower lip and bit it but that's the spiciest thing he's ever done, he preferred if you were to do the work for him. But now? The kiss was desperate and hot, he's got one hand down your shorts and playing with you through your panties as he played with your tongue. The sound of spit echoes in the empty room, during the dead of the night as he continues to devour you. He moans and groans into the kiss, pulling you closer to him if that's even possible, as if he's about to devour you whole.
"I can't" he pulls away, a string of saliva connecting both of you. Your roomate has always looked like he's sculpted by the gods himself but damn. When he's biting his lower lips, slightly illuminated by the lights from the hallway as he pulls your shorts and panties downâ he looks ethereal.
Usually when he eats you out, his licks are long and lazy. He'd maintain eye contact and smirk occasionally as he sucked your clit once or twice for good measures. Not today, though, as he hurriedly parted your legs and immediately latches on to your center as if it's the forbidden fruit. Seonghwa grunts out, satisfied as he finally got his tongue on you. At first, his licks are as expected. Long, from the bottom to your clit. But then he'd switch tactics. He'd go faster, suckle on your clit and even try to thrust his tongue inside.
Keyword: try. Because you're very overstimulated by the way he's handling youâ so of course you're gripping his hair trying to push him away. It was undeniably, uselessâ as Seonghwa kept brazing on, grazing his teeth on your clit before he sucked once more and hums at the taste.
shlck-shlck-shlck! The noise echoed in your bedroom alongside the distant hum of the city and the song of the crickets somehwere outside your window, Seonghwa is dead set on your cunt as if it holds the answer to the secrets of the world
You didn't even know how many times you came already. The coil had snapped far too many times for you to recall, but Seonghwa still goes on. Repeatedly licking at your center over and over again in a fast motion is enough to send you to a state of delirium as you try to squeeze your legs shut, and he replied with a dissatisfied hum as he shoves them open once more. Finally, after what seemed like your third orgasm on his tongue, he pulled away. A string of spit and cum connecting his tongue to your cunt as he stared up at you, pupils blown out.
Seonghwa didn't waste any time and pushed you on your back as he sat up and wrapped his arms around your thighs â pushing inside of you, earning a soft squeal of "hwa!" And "too much!". But the damage was done, the aprodhisiac is still in his system and he needs it outâ you moan at how hard he is as he pushes past your glistening entrance. Albeit a little overstimulated thanks to his tongue, you take him in despite how sensitive you feel towards his tip. Seonghwa isn't looking much better either, his eyes are rolled back as his mouth is slowly opened â
And then, a sharp thrust. And another, and another.
Then, he's pounding into you. The bed is creaking as he repeatedly slammed into that special spot, already mapping his way thanks to the plenty of times he's been inside you. The bed creaks as he shoves a finger into your mouth, your eyes go wide but you sucked on his fingers nevertheless, glaring at the man on top of you who's lost in thought.
Blessed be thy cock, you thought to yourself as Seonghwa's abuse on your cunt was fuelled when the fingers inside your mouth made its way to your clit to circle around it and you nearly screamed from how rough he was. This was different to the lazy sex that he usually provides, telling you to bounce on it while he leans back on the couch.
"hwaa! 's too much!" You whine as he straightened one of your legs and changed his angle to pound deeper into you, covering your face with your hands. Seonghwa just 'tsk'ed at you, hips rolling so languidly with each thrust.
"well you put that aprodhisiac chocolate there, and you always complained how I got tired to easily so. take. It." he thrusts harshly with each syllables of the last words as if to make a statement, and your poor cunt can't take it anymore. Without warning, you felt the spring in your belly snap as you came around his dickâ but Seonghwa showed no signs of stopping or slowing down.
"buckle up, buttercup. I still need to get my fill" his grin is sadistic as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.
Note to self: thank Wooyoung but also slap his head later.
a/n I wanted to continue the work I made on svt but I've been feeling very...demotivated these days. I tried working on smth else but I also felt demotivated. So if the people asked for smut, smut I shall deliver. I'm also thinking of archiving the entire descent to madness thing. Have a nice day and thank you for reading đ
#UGH THIS WAS TOO GOOD#i need aphrodisiac fanfictions in my life#i love that so many svt writers also write for ateez#i read this AND fungal affairs in a row#i loveee seonghwa sm im geeked#park seonghwa#ateez recs
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2025 CARAT REVIVAL : EVOLUTION WEEK VERNON THROUGH THE YEARS
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