followerofmercy - Tumblr blog

[followerofmercy]

Practicing my comic paneling and action poses with some Firefly/Stelle angst. Set immediately after the end of patch 2.2, where we find out Firefly is still alive!

+ bonus

[followerofmercy]

please please please please reblog if you’re a writer and have at some point felt like your writing is getting worse. I need to know if I’m the only one who’s struggling with these thoughts

[followerofmercy]

Just wrote the sentence: "She ripped her arm free with a herculean effort, accompanied by an accompanying tearing sound" and. bruh.

[followerofmercy]

A friend suggested once that Freminet, Lyney and Lynette represent the different stages of Arlecchino's life:

Freminet/Perrie - quiet, reserved, strong sense of justice and survival, kindness to small living things

Lyney/Peruere - taking center stage to protect loved ones. A rising king. Biggest evidence is that her teenage rage hair looks more like his than Lynette's

Lynette/Arlecchino - manipulation from the shadows. The intimidating, flat, cold leader.

like father like son 🧒 / Peruere 🐰 vs. Pers 🐧

[followerofmercy]

5, 6, 13, 14, and 21 for the writing ask game? c:

For this game here!

5. Share one of your strengths:

I think I'm pretty good at getting an emotional response? Which is good, because that's the only thing I actually care about lol. That, or dialogue. I think my dialogue sounds very natural.

6. Share one of your weaknesses:

Visuals. I don't see images in my head. I don't care. I'll tell you how wet someone's skin feels but fuck if I know what their face looks like asdlfkj. Though I dunno if I can count that as a proper weakness because I will not be bothered to improve it. I'm simply writing for the aphantasia crowd lmao

Maybe I struggle to stay true to my original vision? I worry a lot about stuff being ~problematic~. Sometimes it's good. Oftentimes I am stressed about nothing. I caught myself putting a disclaimer on my evil lesbian monster story that 'This story is not intended to villainize those with low empathy. People with low empathy irl are more likely to be victims of abuse-" and like that's nice and all BUT I THINK IT'S OKAY IF I JUST HAVE A VILLAIN THAT HURTS PEOPLE ADSLFKJ. Why am I preemptively answering twitter callouts. What is wrong with me

13. What's the best writing advice you've ever come across?

There are only seven plots.

I used to AGONIZE over my work not being original enough, but it turns out that most stories actually follow a very similar structure and it's what you DO with the tropes/structure that's more important. My bestie Hadithi commented once that they'd rather watch a well done Cinderella adaptation than a poorly executed novel concept, and like. That's very comforting.

14. What's the worst writing advice you've come across?

mmm there's a lot. Anything that starts with "Don't EVER-" is automatically out. Yes, you need to understand the rules to be able to break them, but the writing 'rules' are not set in stone.

I think the biggest thing that I haven't seen outright stated, but more suggested, is that characters need to be held accountable as if they're real people. And like, I do think treating characters as PEOPLE helps make a more balanced and interesting character, but there's a limit. Eventually you gotta put down the psychoanalysis and recognize that they're a narrative tool adlfj

21. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

oh that's tough. I write in, like, the worst way possible. Not only do edit as I go, but I always go back and revise the past couple paragraphs I wrote whenever I come back to a piece.

So like, right now, I am procrastinating a kafblade gore fic. I've mostly written it. I went up one page from where I left off and am editing until I get to outline bullet points, and then I'll start writing first draft again. It helps me get back into the groove. Then once I get through that purgatory, I do a quick onceover in a different font, then I put it in AO3, THEN I read it again in preview mode for formatting errors

[followerofmercy]

do you ever read a take so bad you can't even be mad about it you're just like... ohhhhhh they must be stupid </3 so sad for them

[followerofmercy]

I was talking to a friend about Kavetham and how, while I like the ship a lot, it's like... Cheese curds on their way to becoming Parmesan.

There's no question that they're not one of, if not THE, most important people in the other's life. That said, I don't think they could date rn. For one, Alhaitham is... Mean.

Not on purpose. Nothing he says is with intent to harm, but he is AWARE of the harm his phrasing causes and... Doesn't do anything about it? While I would like to defend him on the basis that communicating while autistic is HARD, why is everyone so emotional, there is a point where you recognize that you live in a society. If you wanna stop hurting your friends, you gotta watch your tone. Or even just clarify more: "I said you're emotionally fragile because I watch you bleed for people that don't care about you. It bothers me and I want you to stop hurting yourself."

The correct response to someone saying "what you said hurt my feelings" is not "well that's not what I meant and you should get over it" lol

Now, more importantly, I don't think Kaveh could handle dating someone he's financially dependent on.

Idk if y'all have ever really had to RELY on someone like that before. It's a horrible feeling. You know how much it sucked growing up and your parents could threaten to kick you out if you disappointed them and you'd be left homeless AND unable to support yourself?

It's just as bad if you're not related to them. I think it's a little worse, actually, because even if your parents are monsters you can usually hold their public image hostage to get them to cooperate. "I kicked my son out' is almost never a good look, yk?

People are much less sympathetic to a romantic partner than a child. Anyway, I do think Kaveh would be open to starting a relationship with someone he relies on because he has no self esteem. It's just another thing to feel guilty about, whatever, business as usual. That means that if they ever had a sexual relationship, it would feel like... A very nicely dressed up prostitution. This is what he needs to do to earn a place in the house. It's a service he can provide to make up for the burden of his presence.

I just don't think that's a particularly healthy headspace to be in lol

And while I was critical of Alhaitham earlier, he isn't stupid. HE knows Kaveh is incapable of not feeling like he owes Alhaitham, which is why I think he charges rent. Kaveh can't cut and run if he's actually paying his way. And more than that, I don't think Alhaitham would allow a premature relationship that would ultimately distance Kaveh from him

[followerofmercy]

I think another reason of why I prefer Scaramouche and Nahida to have a siblings/friends dynamic rather than a parent-and-child dynamic is because it's a step away from how Scaramouche used to deal with people.

Which is forgetting they have their own lives, interests and perspectives and demanding they focus on his needs. An angry infant crying out for help. He saw a 6yo kid dying from a terminal ilness as a betrayal.

This is a perfectly normal behaviour for an infant but he's 500 years old at this point. And, despite of what he claims, other people did love him a lot and he has received a lot of care and nurturing from others. It just didn't help him because he was so busy with mourning what he lacked.

Sometimes you don't need an expert or a parental figure or more nurturing as much as you need to own your shit. And it's a huge part of healing, letting go of the perfect image of what might have been and discovering that the life you do have is beautiful in its own way.

His story is about letting go of a wish that is impossible to grant. He won't get the mother he always wanted or a human heart. He can't. Yet he can still make a friend and he can learn to belong in a different way.

So he does own his shit, as his personal quest shows. He has also started noticing other people's interests, as the festival event showed.

And yes, I get it, therapy, transference, handling your trauma through projecting parental figure on a therapist and getting the care you lacked and all that but, again, he already had people who cared for him and it didn't help him.

Also a therapist is protected by the setting. They get paid for it, they set rules, they see you once or twice a week, it's very different from a normal relationship. Being a 24/7 mother/therapist for a loved one gets exhausting very quickly and I don't think Nahida deserves to be subjected to that.

Getting a friend who both accepts him and holds him accountable for his actions though? That could work.

Healing can happen outside of a therapy setting too.

[followerofmercy]

i kinda like the idea of Arlecchino being lowkey fond of Childe

she does treat him in a similar way to how she treats her kids, complete with "he has potential and he'll grow into it"

[followerofmercy]

Lim found it and I just have to share.

And as a cherry on top it's very likely the same thing her brother left her for

(alternative: the very same thing that might lead her to her brother eventually. how sad it would be to choose)

[followerofmercy]

Lynette really takes after her dad, huh?

She copied her hair, her attacks, AND, the whole pretending to be a robot thing? Letting people assume she's just Lyney's stage prop and not bothering to correct them because it's more convenient for her?

Sure sounds a lot like Arlecchino not correcting anyone that she isn't actually Fontainian, huh.

(And maybe this is another reason Arlecchino wants Lyney to succeed her instead of Lynette. Lynette copies her too much. Lyney's the one that will lead in a new direction.)

[followerofmercy]

this is assuming its on art you normally wouldn't jump to reblog. i myself only rb stuff i really really like so .

The 'rude/demanding' tone would be stuff along the lines of "if you like but don't reblog I'll [threat]" which i see surprisingly often, both serious and more silly

[followerofmercy]

the whole “i used to be a teen who hated authority only to grow up to become the authority that hates teens” is a bad bad thing that practically every other generation has fallen into and we all need to make an extremely conscious effort not to repeat the fucking pattern

[followerofmercy]

as an aroace, im particularly dangerous, because i wont fuck or marry. i only know how to kill.

[followerofmercy]

15, 37 (heh heh) and 38!

15. If you could choose a fic to be filmed, which one?

I already answered 15 but again, Frustrations of the Hunt and actually maybe La Colombe Envie Les Cygneaux? That one relies a lot more on Arlecchino's internal thoughts, but I still think it could make a good visual

37. Talk about your current wips

Well I showed you the EIGHTY PAGE DOCUMENT already but we'll focus on one. I'm drafting up Arlecchino's Babysitting Service: Daycare from Hell in which Lumine asks her to watch Klee for a few hours. In that time, Arlecchino teaches her what Death is, that she is killing living things with her bombs, that the trauma she inflicts on fish also happens to people when you blow them up, and then goes on to rip the entire Knights of Favonius a new asshole for allowing this toddler to unwittingly cause such harm.

Like, she doesn't have a problem with kids committing terrorism. She has a problem with Klee one day looking back at what she's done in horror because nobody fucking bothered to tell her that she's KILLING THINGS

also something something other fic about Childe hanging out with potions girl Helior and puking in a trash can, hating Lyney, having a bro talk with Freminet and crushing a little bit on Lynette lol. I dunno if that one will get finished.

38. Talk about a review that made your day

Well, yours on Frustrations of the Hunt made that story worth writing. Rarepair hell sucks right up until you find someone super enthusiastic and it makes it all worth it. Honestly, because people aren't as oversaturated, they seem to write much better comments for rarepairs.

The other big ones are on my one kavetham fic where I just talk about autism for 5k words and the amount of people that are like "what do you MEAN emotions are physical?! IS THAT WHY I'M HAVING SO MANY PROBLEMS?!" brings me such joy. Go forth and find new ways to navigate the world through my fanfic lmao

[followerofmercy]

For the ask game: 15, 23, 38, and... the way 7's worded makes it feel like homework so I'll add a fully optional 7 as well

For this game here!

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

I think Frustrations of the Hunt is one of my most visually impressive stories and would work best in film. Most of my writing involves a lot of internal thought that would be difficult to put into a different medium aslfkj

23. If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

Bro I do not have time to do that asldfj. If I let myself think like that, I will never get anything done so I don't even wanna entertain the thought. (probably my Steven and Jasper punch buddies story though. Thanks SUF for ruining something fun.)

38. Talk about a review that made your day

OH! Two big ones stand out. One was for A Bard Walks in and Hugs the Bartender, which is a story about Diluc panicking about forgetting things about his deceased father. I got one comment that made writing worthwhile talking about their own grief and how forgetting the little things about people is terrifying and how much they appreciated being seen like that

The other was for a Childe fic that briefly mentioned past teenage sexual abuse and how Childe is furious about allowing that to happen to him and I had a guy (who has since deleted the comment) say how much they appreciate seeing the rage. Which, yk. Evoking emotion is the whole reason I write so I'm pretty thrilled.

aaand 7: Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you've written and explain why you're proud of it:

mmm tossup between my original story about Leon the Hare, just one standout line:

Coffee in hand and laden with the horrifying reminder of the passage of time, Leon sat down at his tiny table for his favorite activity: Fretting.

Which I think by itself sums up his character!

The other is from Frustrations of the Hunt again: They continued like that for three days and three nights. Lan broke every bone in their body and howled until iridescent blood sprayed from their throat and Yaoshi healed every wound while begging and pleading for them to just stop. The gale of Lan’s wheels leveled the forest and shredded the plants until sap ran like water, pooling in the crook of their hips and soaking their green prison, but it didn’t matter. The trees regrew as fast as they could destroy. 

I think it's a good show of violence and desperation and I'm really proud of the visual of Lan screaming so hard and loud that they literally bled