foolishaetherguardian

[foolishaetherguardian]

no for real like sit over there and drink your little beverage and stay tf out of the way let me cook

[foolishaetherguardian]

Every poll on this blog is about fictional characters only. This request was sent to us and we made a poll in response to it. Send any Blorbo-related question you want to our inbox and we’ll make a poll on which people can vote with their own Blorbos in minds

[foolishaetherguardian]

There must have been a competition to see what the weirdest thing they could convince the government to let them do in the name of “protecting democracy” was. Radio equipped cats, seashell bombs, mind controlled dolphin super spies. Whatever over the top cartoon villain behavior you can imagine I’m certain one of the US intelligence agencies tried it at some point.

Honestly collecting Castro's star seed would be weirdly normal for the CIA in the 1960s. One of the tamer facts about that era was that the security office had to keep issuing warnings because the research department (doing MK Ultra) kept spiking people's food with LSD to do blind studies on its effects (read: get everyone else tripping as many balls as they were, but with unethical scientific justification)

I KNOW THATS WHY I MADE THE JOKE bc ship was telling me about their plan to CREATE AN ARTIFICIAL SEASHELL THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL that he would be unable to resist going to pick it up and then it would EXPLODE and also possibly make him GAY

and I was like this is ineffectual sailor moon villain bullshit

[foolishaetherguardian]

Kindness seen is the same as being a kind person to anyone who isn’t you. It took me a long time to figure out that people think I’m a good person because I do good things. Outsiders can’t see inside. So they see the good things and assume good person and not “this is categorically easier than doing anything else.”

having a realisation that a lot of my kindness is fundamentally rooted in my antisocial personality. i help people out because if i help them the situation gets resolved more quickly and i can get away from them sooner. my compassion is hostile; i'm not trying to make people feel like they can depend or rely on me, but get them to a point where they can support themselves and find others to support them without me. i compliment people so they'll feel fulfilled by our interaction and not require further input from me. i want people to feel like i care about them, and see them as human beings, and that they can make mistakes around me without fear of judgement or exile, but never like i'm someone to invite inside to stay any longer than necessary. i enjoy making people feel better about themselves and inspiring them to treat others well, but i don't want them to attach my identity to that kindness. i want them to take what they need and then let me go. and i don't think this makes me "bad" or "dangerous" but i do think it makes me a risk to people's comfort and happiness that isn't fair to ask them to take.

[foolishaetherguardian]

careers in science & academia are so Cassandra-coded. you possess a Great and Burdensome Knowledge (at heavy cost*), which is both its own reward and its own punishment. and no one fucking listens to you

[foolishaetherguardian]

Sometimes it’s weirdness with the people. My family has a long history of blowing out lightbulbs and crashing computers and servers when we are too emotionally charged. My mom has had lightbulbs fall on her head while she was upset and I’ve somehow crashed two separate security systems on my campus when I was angry and tried to access our IT software to reset a password. I was quietly asked to return to call desk duty after that.

my coworker was trying to connect to the big screen in the office for a presentation today but couldn't get it to work in spite of having had IT 'fix' the problem multiple times in the past so i joked that she has some kind of technology curse and then i lent her my laptop so she could present and when she gave it back to me excel crashed and then windows explorer crashed and then i lost my connection to the company server and i am starting to think she might actually be cursed like for real

[foolishaetherguardian]

why did no one tell me about vampires before i became a lich. “oh noo i can’t go out for a sunny beach day!! i don’t show up in mirrors!!” i need to use a special deodorant not to smell like maggots. i studied for 103 years for this

[foolishaetherguardian]

I spent the first half of my life being told to just Be The Bigger Person in every situation and therefore I have now completely burned out on that, so fuck you it's now goblin hours forever

[foolishaetherguardian]

Explanation 4: Sewer burger joint

[foolishaetherguardian]

Evil Wizard you have us confused with 1980’s Dominoes. I will eat this… Golden Apple? If you anger me. Maybe I already am.

Hey yeah this is you doordash driver? I think I'm at the right address... big spooky tower where the clouds are always ominous and there's voices whispering warnings on the breeze? Yeah could you please call off your homunculus guards? They're making it kinda hard to deliver your order.

i was told it was free if you’re late by 30 minutes or more

[foolishaetherguardian]

just tried to get a quick haircut and the lady was so fucking rude to me lmao I drew a picture of how I wanted my hair layered and she was like “we don’t do anime” and kept interrupting me when I explained that I just wanted it trimmed for more body and that it was just upkeep on my current haircut and she fucking grabbed my hair and pulled on it hard and then chopped chunks off at random and then called me delusional when I stopped her and said I would go somewhere else where I would be listened to

[foolishaetherguardian]

what I love about those timid handwringing “am I allowed to breathe air???” types is sometimes a miracle will happen and something in their brains will snap and you can watch them kill the hall monitor in their heads with a shovel

[foolishaetherguardian]

Your harassing neighbor dies. Then a bullying coworker dies in a crash. Within a month, people you’ve had bad blood with start dying. The police are watching you closely—but you haven’t done anything… at least, not that you know of.

[foolishaetherguardian]

me: weird how these health issues i haven't experienced in years have suddenly returned in this highly stressful and traumatic situation. i wonder what could possibly be causing this. i guess we'll never know 🤷‍♂️

the copy of the body keeps the score on my bookshelf: [grows 10 pages longer]

[foolishaetherguardian]

I've been looking for a fun/quick little animation sideproject to flex my frame-by-frame muscles, so introducing Margie! A cat-goose dragon based on this little fella from this medieval manuscript

[foolishaetherguardian]

And now you understand the saying.

holy shit I got tinted glasses and suddenly I understand the term “rose-colored glasses” because the whole world is easier and more pleasant to look at and my eyes feel palpable relief

[foolishaetherguardian]

in a medieval groupchat nobody would make fun of your typo they would just assume that its a new spelling youre going with and roll with it