for-keeps-this-time

[for-keeps-this-time]

You can make yourself fat, you can make yourself thin

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whoever the fuck invented arm fat will be speaking to my lawyers

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I have an ED. My ED is having a huge effect on my physical health and I am not very well mentally or physically.

HOWEVER

I can grab a handful of chub from my thighs.

My stomach isn’t just podgy, it’s round and sticks out a lot.

My arms flap when I move them.

My chin jiggles when I jump.

I have chubby fingers.

I do not look like someone with an ED from the outside. Do you know why? Because there is no look to an ED. You can be any weight, any gender, any age. You could have no health issues from it. You could look perfectly well and healthy from the outside but that does not mean you do not have an ED and it definitely does not mean that your ED isn’t bad enough and that you need to get “worse”. There is no worse. You struggling is bad enough.

I am a higher weight than I was last year, and my ED is 10x worse than it was then. EDs are not weight disorders, they are food disorders. And by food disorders I do not mean how much or how little you are eating, or how often you binge or purge. An eating disorder is based on your thoughts and feelings around food. Yes there are behaviours that come alongside that, but those behaviours are fuelled by your thoughts and feelings around food.

One thing it took me a long time to realise, is that EDs are not always consistent. There’s been times where I’ve engaged in behaviours for weeks and then just turned around and ate completely normally with no guilt for a few days or longer. Does this mean I don’t have an ED? No it doesn’t! I still have an ED when I do that, and if you do that too it does not mean that your struggles are not valid.

EDs do not have a look or a feel to them, they are COMPLETELY individualised and are different for every single person. I have been on EDtblr for over a year now, and I decided to completely ditch my old account even though I wasn’t t worded. This was because I would only post or come on tumblr when I was engaging in ED behaviours that I deemed valid, and that was pretty much the only time I would post about it, because when I was binging constantly or not purging I did not feel like I was ill enough to be on EDtblr. When I looked through my account it did not feel like an accurate representation of my struggles.

If you currently do what I did on my old account, that is okay. It is YOUR blog and you can do whatever you like with it, you can share as much or as little as you choose to. However I want you to know that if you ever do decide to share those things that make you question how valid or bad your ED is, me and so many others in this community are here for you and you are accepted here.

[for-keeps-this-time]

My favorite low-cal substitutes and options! All under 50 calories.

Feel free to add to this! I didn’t include everything out there :)

Drinks 🧋

0 cal - herbal tea 🫖

0 cal - green tea 🍵

0 cal - water flavoring like Mio

0 cal - Diet Coke 🥤

0 cal - pretty much any diet soda

2 cal - Black Coffee ☕️

2 cal - black tea

10 cal - monster ultra (I like paradise and fiesta especially)

20 cal - other sugar free energy drinks

39 cal - shot of sake 🍶

Breakfast (snacks, smoothies, etc)

25 cal - 1 large egg white 🍳

32 cal - 100g Strawberries (~50 cal per cup) 🍓

40 cal - 1/4 c low fat cottage cheese 🦴

42 cal - 1 kiwi 🥝

42 cal - 84 g (1 thick slice) pineapple 🍍

47 cal - 154g (1 c) watermelon 🍉

50 cal - 1/2 grapefruit 🍊

50 cal - 3 oz plain Greek yoghurt

50 cal - 2 tbsp serving powdered peanut butter 🥜

50 cal - 4 oz (120ml) low fat milk 🥛

Meals (mix and match this shit!) 🍴

0-10 cal - serving shirataki noodles 🍜

0-20cal - Broth 🐥

5 cal - 1 c lettuce 🥬

6 cal - 28g (1 oz) pickled onion (do this yourself! So easy! So good on everything) 🧅

7 cal - 1 c spinach 🥗

16 cal - 70g (1 c sliced) mushrooms

17 cal - 1/2 c kale

20 cal - 1 c zucchini 🥒

20 cal - 82g (1 c. cubed) eggplant 🍆

21 cal - 1 tbsp parmesan cheese 🧀

25 cal - whole tomato 🍅

25 - 148g (1 med) bell Pepper 🫑

30 cal - 78g (1 med) Carrot 🥕

30 cal - 116g (1 c) pumpkin

30-40 cal - 1/2 pack or can tuna 🐟

35 cal - 1/2 serving (1.5 oz) cod 🐠

36 cal - 1 c miso soup 🍲

37 cal - 40g shelled edamame

38 cal - 1 c Brussels sprouts

39 cal - 1/2 hard or soft boiled egg 🥚

39 cal - 1/2 serving (42g) halibut (white fish) 🐟

40 cal - 1 c arugula 🥗

40 cal - 186g (10 spears) asparagus

45 cal - 148g (1 med) broccoli 🥦

45 cal - 6 med raw oysters 🦪

45 cal - 3 oz/85g lite tofu

50 cal - 100g (1/2 small-med) sweet potato 🍠

50 cal - 1/2 corn cob 🌽

50 cal - 50g shrimp 🍤

Snacks 🍬

0-8 cal - pickles 🥒

5-10 cal - 1 tbsp salsa

17 cal - 1 passion fruit (18g)

23 cal - 1 tbsp hummus

25 - serving seaweed snack

25 - 1 med bell Pepper 🫑

30 cal - 22 Organic Yogis (okay technically this is baby food but it’s just freeze dried Greek yoghurt and fruit so shut up it’s good) 🍓🍌

30 cal - 300g/1 Cucumber 🥒

35 cal - 1 cutie (small orange/tangerine) 🍊

40 cal - 1 light babybel 🧀

47 cal - 1.5 c Air popped popcorn 🍿

50 cal - 6 oven-baked parm crisps 🧀

50 cal - >1/2 c unsweetened apple sauce 🍎

50 cal - 3 dried apricots 🍑

50 cal - 15 pistachios 🌰🥜

Dessert 🎂

0 cal - Diet Root Beer (I don’t care that it’s a drink! It’s so insanely sweet and it kicks the ass of my cravings. Also, my list my rules. Sue me) 🍺

5 cal - serving Sugar Free Jello 🍮

5 cal - 1 tbsp Hershey’s Sugar Free Syrup 🍫

~14 cal - WHOLE BOTTLE Too Tarts sweet sour spray candy (so a few sprays is just 0-3 cal)

20 cal - 2 tbsp Frozen Cool Whip Lite (seriously, eat this frozen) 🍨

20-50 cal - baked fruit (bake some peaches, apples, etc. and mix with Splenda, cinnamon, etc.) 🍑🍎

23 cal - fun size sweet tart pack

25 cal - no sugar added small outshine popsicles 🍧

25 cal - 1 pack smarties (American) 🍬

35 cal - swiss miss reduced calorie hot chocolate ☕️🍫

40 cal - small Outshine Popsicles 

40 cal - 5 sugar free hard candies 🍬

42 cal - 1 Hershey assorted mini 🍫

43 cal - fat free green yoghurt with sugar-free jam 🍧

46 cal - 2 regular marshmallows

48 - 8 mini Cinnamon Sugar skinny pop Rice Cakes

50 cal - 1-2 squares dark chocolate 🍫

50 cal - 2 Dum dum suckers 🍭

50 cal - ~25 sugar free jelly beans

50 cal - halo top pops (lots of flavors) 🍦

Miscellaneous

0-2 cal - any herb/spice 🌿

4 cal - 1 clove garlic 🧄

5 cal - 1 stick sugar free gum

50 cal - 1/4 container White cheddar seasoning (2 cal per 1/4 tsp) 🧀🧂

50 cal - 10 sugar free mints 🌱

Disclaimer: actual calorie counts may vary depending on serving, brand, food tracker, etc.

[for-keeps-this-time]

i just don’t understand how i will cry because im fat and then go binge. how disgusting could a person possibly be?

[for-keeps-this-time]

TW ED MOTIVATION

imagine someone giving you a piggy back and they end up having to put you down cause youre too heavy

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they’re a 10 but they’re on edtumbr in 2022

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I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!!

[for-keeps-this-time]

[for-keeps-this-time]

I sure have been putting the eating in eating disorder lately

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Its not an eating disorder if you're fat

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My last couple of weeks:

[for-keeps-this-time]

ur daughter is not fine she’s on ed tumblr in 2022.

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I'm a triple threat!

Dumb

Fat

&

Ugly

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Good morning, I’m feeling fat.