forsakenlights-blog

[forsakenlights-blog]

Echoes of an Empty Room

I want you to miss me as much as I miss you. To hear your voice in the moment! Where you admit that our love lies in a fragile and sacred place. These walls are closing in when they're so empty without you! 

A smile tends to be happy, but not this time. My smile has turned to a grin that you portray in my mind. And I smile at your smile but I also seem so grim. Because everytime you smile, I can't let air in. I smile so hard, it breaks my jaw, I knew it couldn't last. I'm terrified of my past, and I haven't made it far. Further to being stronger and putting my life towards my own desires. You're all I can think of. All i can live for. I breathe, I drink, I eat for you.

So cheers to our memories, lets begin with a toast, a toast to not being forsaken by each other like ghosts. We need to stay together, not pass through these walls. DON'T PASS THROUGH MY HEART! I DON'T WANT TO FALL!

Cause my, Intentions.

Cause your, infectious. 

love, is calling me out...

I've lost, direction.

You've gained, a perspective.

THAT HAS THROWN ME OUT,

OF THE DOOR. I'VE LOST EVERY OPPORTUNITY. LOST EVERY CHANCE TO BE. WHAT I WISH WE COULD. BUT NOW, I'M ON THE GROUND. SCREAMING, "GOD HOW COULD THIS EVEN HAPPEN?" SHE PROMISED, I PROMISED, THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN.

(This reality is messy, this reality is bare. It's too god damn honest, about portraying despair. I never felt so weak and, so tired in my life. I should've never gone as far, but I'm trying to make my past up by perfecting my design. So what can I say? What can I say? These walls are empty and my room still smells like your hair. And it's killing me. It's killing me.that all I remember is your stare.)

[forsakenlights-blog]

Engulfed by the Storm

I haven't seen so much dust kicked up since my grandparents drove away. All these emotions are so built up, I guess it's not that hard to say, I'm not fine. But Why should I admit a thing. I talk to guns and talk to heights and all of them know how to sing, sweet. Lullabies.. Lullabies that lull me into wanting to die. And I'm scared I'll give in.

I'm choking on my alibis. I swear To some I am just fine. Cause If I showed them a mirror. They'd be happier than talking to me. I know they don't care. And i know there opinions. I know this pain is dominating. I know that it's suffocating. Some people can't handle it, and the storm is just omnipresent and destructively making. Everyones lives, just a wee bit worse. That's why I won't say a word. I'm fine Boss! I want to spit in your face! I'm fine guys! I'm not a disgrace! I'm fine brother! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TORN INSIDE? I'M FINE MOTHER! CAN'T YOU SEE THROUGH MY LIES?

PLEASE! SOMEONE SEE ME!

I'M STUCK IN A STORM AND IN A STATE OF DISARRAY! I HAVE NOTHING BUT FOND MEMORIES! OF FUN TIMES AND OF TIMES IN PAIN! WHY AM I DEVOURED IN THIS HATE? DEVOURED BY MY EXHAUSTION? DEVOURED BY MY OBSESSION OF OUR FATES?

WHY

CANT

I

BE 

HAPPY.

HONESTLY SMILE!

I know you see these tears. You don't care and you never will. Cause if this is how you feel. Then my life is a joke and it's time you killed it. Unspark attraction. Destroy infatuations. I'm no ones master. Except procrastinations. And it's quite funny. How this storm won't go away. Just like these memories. I'm sick and done with living from day to day. So let me go now.

You said you'd be there in the end. And that'd we'd have a million stories. You agreed that forever, till the end. Our love was a fairytale story. AND NOW YOU SAY THAT IT'S BEEN CUT SHORT! CAUSE OF YOUR STUPID ASS SHIT! WELL WELCOME THE STORM! WELCOME BACK HOME! ENGULFED BY MISERY, IS HOW YOU'LL ALWAYS SEE ME!!! 

AND I KNOW YOU WON'T FEEL BAD! BECAUSE GUILT IS MY EMOTION! I CLAIMED IT FIRST, I'LL CLAIM IT LAST. I'M A HOPELESS ROMANTIC THAT HAS LOST ALL OF HIS GAS! And We were so... Close... To my goal. And you're going to throw it away...

Be ready to see the dust. Stay in flight. For months if not years. Just hope that I'll stay alive. It's dominating. It's suffocating. I haven't seen so much dust kicked up in my life.

[forsakenlights-blog]

Far Away

I'd throw everything and everyone in front of a train. Just to prove you're the only thing that keeps me from going insane, and I. Am sick of running and being so pathetic. I'm trying to put my foot down while being sympathetic, but I guess I'm just a fool. 

All those days. The evenings where blinds were closed. We were hidden under blankets, kissing with eyes closed. You'd be my spring, and I'd be the world. I'd change and wash all the sorrow away, just to realize, how much the winter stains the soul.

** Most people won't say, most people won't see, most people won't ever think like I do, the truth, you should open your eyes, unveil your ears and let it all resonate inside. Admit your defeat, and just let it go. You're a nothing of a something that has no where to go. And There's something missing, something so fond. Maybe it's compassion, but damn we're all scarred. **

You know I only ran to a field to think of you. I only saw a silhouette. 

You know I only ran to a field to think of you. I only saw a silhouette. 

You know I only ran to a field to think of you. I only saw a silhouette. 

And when you turned to me. In this field of life, our love, was dropped and All I thought about was death.

You are so free, opposite from me. I hate my life. You opened my eyes. Thank you so much, for freeing me, just a little bit. And killing destiny. You pushed so hard.

I pushed back, right?

We tried and we equally continued to fight. What happened there, was what left me feeling so blind. A stab in the back from boredom while you looked in my eyes. you stared in my eyes. YOU GAVE ME BLISS WHILE I DIED!

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Caught

I think it's quite funny how You have lied. You've brought shame to my heart and innocence  has died. because I have seen you bite their necks when nobody is there, except me and my eyes, as I quietly stare. So fuck you. 

[forsakenlights-blog]

I Love You More Than Anything

Your glare pelts me with self-propelled teases and luscious touches, gliding gracefully against my seams.

You know how distraught I’ve been—about this, about begging—but I need you, and you tease almost as much as I need.

You know you’re in control, and I’m happy that you can smile—your angelic smile—about something so sinister as love. You knew how to bend the light toward your heart, twisting my perception of reality in a twist of fate I’ve come to love.

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It's been more than a Decade

I'd like to use this as a place to leave what I've created and more. Since what I've left behind. Since so much still means something to me.

Evermore, where what I've left behind lingers, and what I create still whispers to me.

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friendly reminder that this exists

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I just loled like a 10 Year old. Ahhh

Justin Timberlake thinks he hears the voice of God, then quickly realizes it’s only the airport loudspeakers

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fucking watch this

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OMFG I AM TERRIFIED. MY PENIS JUST SHRIVELED UP AND DIED. THIS IS SO SCARY, MAKE IT STOP.

How to keep your man in check ;)

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"I’m sorry for being such a bastard. I want to make it up."

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Love and Other Disasters (2006)

Jacks: I’ve been such a bloody fool! Can you ever forgive me? Paolo: Love means always forgiving.

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"Please may Oliver be excused from class. His tiny heart is broken."