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forspringcleaning · 17 hours ago

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Here are the incontrovertible facts.

First, @whocaresstillthelouvre is the most talented and creative writer, who writes smut so good it makes me need a take a lap, or bang my head against the wall, or drift in delulu land for good minute.

Second, Mallory is also the best person, who last week saved my life by sending me the sweetest care package, that not only had a Pedro collage and a snoopy and other goodies BUT REAL PHILLY SOFT PRETZELS. These pretzels braved being shipped cross country, somehow managing to still be delicious (heroic little guys). Reader, I cannot explain how perfect flavor and texture of these pretzels were. The right amount of crisp and softness. Savory and a little sweet. Eating these pretzels has been a highlight to my work filled life. Receiving the package made me cry because that’s where my emotions are at right now.

Third, related to the above, soft pretzels are the best food. They are good for any occasion. Baseball game? Soft pretzel. Movie? Soft pretzel. Joel Miller giving you head after a long day of work? Soft pretzel. Everyone should eat a soft pretzel.

Fourth, Joel WOULD do this. I just know he would. This is basically a true story. And he’s so sweet 😭 perfect husband. And imagine Joel with a little bit of cheese on his mustache from dipping the soft pretzel. And also of course imagine Joel doing other things as set forth in this story.

Fifth, without someone feeding me (shout out to my husband) for the last two weeks I probably wouldn’t have eaten at all. I would’ve lived off Diet Coke and nicotine and candy. So I very much appreciated reader’s inability to care for herself as well. Sadly her life is spot on 😭

Sixth, there is a place called Adolfo’s and it has the best fries with cheese and guacamole and I miss it dearly (we used to just hang out there when we were bored?). Joel would love it too.

Seventh, how did Mallory make a soft pretzel hot? She’s the best in the biz. This point relates to point one, but bears repeating.

In conclusion, pretzel. Pretzel head. Joel feeding you a pretzel while giving you head. Pretzel Joel.

Me when I see soft pretzel coming my way

When a soft pretzel is nowhere to be seen on the menu

Me when I dip the soft pretzel in both cheese and mustard

Me having to work when I should be receiving pretzel head from Joel

Me to @whocaresstillthelouvre for being the most thoughtful, kind friend i could ask for

Salty, Sweet

Husband Joel Miller x Wife Reader

Rating: Explicit. 18+ (Minors DNI) Summary: Joel gives you even more than just a pretzel. Warnings: no outbreak, smut, pretzels, oral (f receiving), joel miller #1 husband and pussy eater Words: 1,750

A/N: This was written for @forspringcleaning and only @forspringcleaning. Trust me when I say she deserves this because of every amazing thing she's been doing.

Masterlist

🥨🥨🥨🥨🥨

A pretzel. That’s all you want—one of those delicious, buttery pretzels from the kiosk in the mall.

The only problem is, you’re way too busy to get one.

Files cover the dining room table, your laptop sits atop a stack of folders, and your cellphone has been constantly buzzing and ringing with phone calls and texts.

Damn the deadlines.

You’re juggling multiple tasks when you hear the front door open. A couple of heavy boot steps land on the tile before Joel takes his boots off and throws his keys onto the console table.

“Hey baby,” he says, his voice a little hoarse from his long day at work. He stands behind you, bending over to place a kiss against your head. “Hi,” you say, barely able to look up from the work on your laptop. “Sorry, just have to get this filed.”

“S’okay,” he gently assures before moving to the kitchen to drop off his lunch tote.

Work hasn’t been easy the past few weeks. Deadlines arrive too early, meetings run too long, and you never have enough time. It couldn’t have come at a worse time, Miller Construction just won the contract for the large shopping center being built across town. Joel’s been working twelve-hour days, coming home exhausted and covered in dirt and sawdust. Both of you are running on fumes, barely managing to spend any quality time together.

So much for wedded bliss.

“You eat anything today?” he asks, placing his hands on your shoulders, trying to rub some of the tenseness out. You catch the faint smell of him that you love, a bit of his cologne mixed with wood and sweat. All man. All Joel.

“What answer do you want?” you ask.

“Baby,” he growls. “You know you hafta take care of yourself.” His thumbs push into your skin, kneading small circles into the tight knots.

“Easier said than done when I have twenty things to do with enough time to do five,” you sigh.

“Hmph,” he responds.

You turn to him, finally tearing your eyes away from the screen, and look at your handsome Joel.

God, he’s just as gorgeous as the day you met him at that hole-in-the-wall Mexican food place that has the guacamole cheese fries you love. You were craving carbs after a night out with friends. He was just needing some sustenance inside of him after working well into the early hours of the morning at the construction site. You couldn’t keep your eyes off of each other, and the drinks you had before emboldened you to slide into the booth across from him with a flirtatious smile. And that was that; he loved your straightforward ways, which pulled him out of his shy shell, and you loved his diligent focus and quiet strength. Three years later, you were married. And now, less than six months after your wedding, you’re both way too busy and tired to even enjoy newlywed bliss.

“Well,” Joel says, “what do you want for dinner?”

"A pretzel.”

His eyebrows lift. “A pretzel?”

"Mmhmm,” you nod. “One of those big, soft mall pretzels.”

He chuckles. “That’s it?”

“Yep.”

“Alright, baby,” he says. “I’ll go get you that pretzel.”

You smile wide, you hate that it’s the first time you’ve smiled today. “Really?!” you ask.

He scoots your chair back and turns it to face him. “Really,” he says with an adoring smile before he leans down and seals his mouth over yours. He kisses you sweetly, his tongue gently licking into your mouth before he pulls away. “You have a lot left to do?”

“Should be done by the time you get back. Hopefully.”

“Good,” he says with a smirk before he gives you one last kiss.

You turn your chair back, taking a deep breath, trying to recenter yourself to conquer the last few assignments left for today.

“Hey,” Joel’s voice catches your attention from the front door. You look over, his hand on the door knob, “You’re doing amazing, I’m proud of you darlin',” he says with a small smile. “I love you.”

You smile widely, using the burst of Joel’s belief and pride to help you finish.

🥨🥨🥨

You shut your laptop with a sigh. Another 14-hour day of work is done. You’re exhausted and starving.

Joel walks in at the perfect time, right as your stomach begins growling. You spot the blue and white bag dangling from his fingers and perk up immediately, your exhaustion forgotten.

Joel grins and holds the bag up.

“Oh my god,” you say, practically leaping from the chair. “Thank yooou!”

You can smell the butter and sweet dough the closer you get, your mouth begins to water as you reach for the bag.

Just as you get ready to grab it, Joel lifts it away, holding it above his head with a smirk.

“Not so fast, baby, I’m hungry too,” he says.

You pout, trying to reach for the bag again. “Joel!” you whine, though your smile is wide. “I’m hungry!”

He chuckles, wrapping his free arm around your waist and pulling you against him. “I’m hungry too,” he growls, his hand gliding down your back to squeeze your ass.

“Sooo, have a pretzel,” you suggest, quirking your eyebrow up.

“No, I’m hungry for you,” he growls in your ear. He lets go of you, gently pushing you towards the living room. “Now, go on ‘n get naked for me and sit on the couch.”

Joel’s low, commanding tone sends a shiver up your spine. Lord, it’s been over a week since you’ve had any real chance to enjoy each other carnally. Most nights end with you crawling into bed next to Joel, already asleep. He only wakes up briefly to wrap his arms around you and pull you close, rumbling a low “love you baby” against your skin.

But tonight, despite your fatigue, desire begins to pool low in your belly.

You slowly unbutton your shirt, a fancy blouse from a mall boutique you have multiples of to wear for Zoom meetings. Your bra follows quickly behind, a simple bralette, because who needs support when you’re sitting at a table all day? Joel watches, his dark brown eyes following your every move. When you slide down your shorts and underwear, revealing yourself fully to him, he lets out a low groan.

You settle on the couch, slightly melting into the soft cushion, thankful it’s not the hardwood chair you’ve been sitting on all day. Joel stalks towards you, the pretzel bag still clutched in his hand. He kneels between your legs, reaching into the bag to pull out a glistening pretzel.

“Open,” he says.

You obey, opening your mouth, ready to taste the salty, sweet treat. But Joel doesn’t move to feed you, instead he grips your legs, spreading them open.

“Atta girl,” he says, before handing you the pretzel.

“Eat,” he commands.

You don’t know what makes you moan first… your first bite of salty, buttery perfection or Joel’s first lick against your pussy.

His eyes lock onto yours, watching as you watch him savor you, just as you’re savoring the pretzel.

“Joel,” you moan, one hand gripping the pretzel while the other grips his hair.

He hums against you, the tip of his nose nudging against your clit as his tongue teases your entrance.

God, you missed the bristle of his beard against your thighs, the feel of his broad tongue against your folds, and the low sounds he groans against you.

Your hips buck against his face as you take another bite. God, you love pretzels, almost as much as you love Joel’s mouth against your cunt.

“Fuck,” you moan, when Joel sticks a long, thick finger into you.

Your head falls back against the couch, his finger curling inside you, dragging it sweetly and slowly in and out of you. He fucks you with his thick finger, pulling moans and whimpers from you as he swirls his tongue on your clit.

The pretzel is long forgotten when it drops from your grip onto the leather couch.

It’s loud between your legs. Joel’s groans and grunts against your skin mingle with the wet sound of his finger fucking into your wet cunt. You’ve missed this so much, the need for Joel sitting low in your belly, making your thighs tremble, your grasp against his soft hair tighter.

His tongue laps against your clit, flicking with the perfect pressure Joel knows that will drive you crazy.

Joel Miller is the perfect husband. He always knows how to make you feel good and loved. Whether it’s how perfectly he works his mouth against your needy pussy or how he knows exactly how to angle his hips against yours when he fucks you with his wide cock. It’s not just pleasure with him either. It’s the soft way he speaks to you when you’re overwhelmed, the gentle way he runs his hands along your skin, or the loving kiss he leaves against your forehead when he gets out of bed.

Right now, it’s the way his eyes look at you under furrowed brows, focused on making you feel relaxed, loved, and adored.

You can feel your orgasm rising, the tension of the long work day quickly melting away as Joel works you with his tongue. Your legs wrap around his broad body, tightening and pushing him against you, searing your pussy against his mouth.

Joel hums against your aching cunt, puffy with need and soaked from his spit and your wet. He knows you’re close, and he pulls you even closer when he sticks a second thick finger inside you.

Your body responds, your walls squeezing his fingers, your clit throbbing as he sucks it between his plush lips. It’s divine seeing your handsome husband like this, his mouth glued against you, pulling a long, sweet orgasm out of you.

You’re trembling, repeating his name, clutching at his hair with both hands as he growls against you, drinking every drop you spill out for him down. His hands run a path up and down your body, goosebumps breaking out across your skin at his touch across your overwhelmed body.

You can’t help the wide, blissed out smile that stretches across your skin as you come down from your orgasm.

Joel leaves soft kisses against your thigh before he pulls back, his face shining with your slick. “So good. Missed tasting ya’.”

“And I missed tasting these,” you say, pulling another pretzel out of the bag.

#🪿#pretzel #🥨#joel miller fanfiction #fic recs #pedro pascal character fan fic #Joel miller smut

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