forsythia-u

[forsythia-u]

I'm deep intense blue and purple I'm screaming black. I want to fly away into the ground and lay oozing lavanders gray and faded blues I want to melt away I want to dissappear but that word is intense. Melt away is perfectly fine. One day I'll sprout into lovely whites and chromatic wonderlands. One day I'll heal. One day I'll be able to touch and feel you without thinking of her. But for now I can't. But for now I can't feel or hear or touch you. Her scent is poigent. And there isn't a need for apologies because your guilt speaks volumes yet it's muted because it never existed. Do not touch me and taint my colors. I dislike every piece of you. But I'll forgive you.

[forsythia-u]

888

I had asked him eariler what exactly he had meant and he said "foolish girl! It is me the one you created and thus this sin is bound to you!"

I was teleported to this realm where everything was blue and it felt filling in

my void which could never be filled by any means. I silently rocked back and forth when the sun rose south to my surprise I was okay.

A flower told me I was tripping on my inconcientcy I told the flower "silly flower, I made you, I'm already aware of my edges"

I continued down on the path when suddently I didn't exactly know where I was as I had dissapeared into my self for a brief momment or maybe an hour I don't know

[forsythia-u]

777

When I roam and float around the deepest corners of my subconscious I become aware of how serious my thoughts can be. These don't scare me and I don't flinch when it hurts. For my self awareness is exactly what fuels it more, casually bringing up I wouldn't kind such torment of a sort leaves people shocked but I don't think about it long enough, not that I could anyways. Eventually my eyes become so dry and I look and 5 minutes have passed. Another one huh? "I'll change then". These "goals" have been all that I consume

[forsythia-u]

HARLOT 

5.10.17

Not an occult

Liar repeat offense 

PROTECT cover it up PURE it was promised LOVE I am guaranteed 

FATE COMES EVENTUALLY 

IT COMES OUT 

[forsythia-u]

Temperament and judgemention 

Weeks past by upkeeping my lies

Not lies, not a lie if you never speak of it

[forsythia-u]

Forsythia

Adolescence growing into repeated rounds 

didn’t deserve it, I needed it 

Made a little mistake, broke the bounds 

Made in place to forsake the sounds of repenting

I’m knocking on your door and you don’t answer

The door wasn’t yours it was the door I made myself

You’re not him

Wax dipped molded man is the one I know

Cut you out of it and worshiped the fake 

But the voice was yours and you didn’t understand

how could someone be so forsaken

but me, I am me, I am myself

Never will I become someone else

 I am ill, and I drink what I make for myself

I am aware the sun blinds my eyes and I consume it

Sinner I am, I am forgiven

Sinner you are, and bless you.