fossils-dundundun - Tumblr blog

[fossils-dundundun]

*salmon arguing on the internet voice* good argument. unfortunately for you i have already depicted you as the virgin ocean stage salmon and me as the chad spawning salmon

[fossils-dundundun]

dream job is pair of eyeballs that fly around and look at shit

[fossils-dundundun]

My coffee maker is such a faggot. Every time I use it it whines and moans and groans and pisses all over the place

[fossils-dundundun]

if you destroy the illusion magic holding my physical form together youll find a single withering parsnip in its place

[fossils-dundundun]

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

[fossils-dundundun]

i would've fucked so hard as a court jester in ye olde i would've jangled my balls and done a little dance and sang my silly tunes i'd be so good at my job. alas i have to be on tumblr instead which is like a poor imitation of it

[fossils-dundundun]

I keep quoting “my acocunt” for several months and I just realized it’s from my own screenshot and not a popular post

[fossils-dundundun]

they thells she shells by the he whore

[fossils-dundundun]

why is everything so beaugiful...

[fossils-dundundun]

Scrimmy bingus when he Mingus

[fossils-dundundun]

Yea stomach i know you’re digesting food rn you don’t have to be so slutty about it

[fossils-dundundun]

being as i am an idiot, and having been one my whole life, i just wanna say that i find it very easy to do nothing, and go nowhere. i eat chocolate late at night in the dark. i stand in the garden also. and i’m often waiting for something to happen. and i’m stupid.

[fossils-dundundun]

I love the old timey phrase "you forget yourself". bro that was so impolite like do you even know who you are rn

[fossils-dundundun]

me in my head at the supermarket: nobody is ever going to fucking love me. omg 25% off

[fossils-dundundun]

The moral of The Lottery is that they threw rocks at her

[fossils-dundundun]

they need to invent a writing that is easy. and fast also

[fossils-dundundun]