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[foureyedphilosopher]

Micro-changes

You can't turn your life around overnight. Make incremental changes to build new habits.

Cut down on meat gradually by eating vegetarian for 6 days out of 7. If you want to start exercising more, start with just 5 minutes daily and then work it up to more.

It'll happen.

[foureyedphilosopher]

Friendships on the road

Travelling solo can mean different things for different people. People see it as an opportunity to both escape reality and find themselves, a pursuit that is paradoxical but understandable. For me though, the most memorable part of my travels has usually been the people I've met.

They say happiness is an allegory, sadness a story. There is a simple joy in leaving behind the baggage of everyday life to uncover an alternate existence, live life out of a backpack. Travelling alone in nature can be a source of simple happiness, it doesn’t have to be anything more. There do not have to be any grand revelations.

Nature can be absolutely breathtaking, but wandering alone through the forest might be entirely fruitless in your quest for self-discovery. It might calm your nerves a bit and offer an opportunity to learn about surviving in the wild. The beautiful meadows and dense forest of yore, do not give a shit about you - they aren’t there to give you an answer, to help you find yourself, to make this trip of yours any more special than you make it yourself. The forests and mountains just are! They’ve stood there for millennia before you came and will be there a millennia after you go. They will not itch your scratch - not necessarily.

It’s a refreshing change from mundanity, but if you hope for profound realisations around every corner, you’ll likely be let down. The nature of solo travel is unpredictable. The beauty of the unexpectedness of its lessons is that there are few and far between. If you had routine epiphanies the moment you stepped out your door, it would kind of suck, wouldn’t it? Kind of like tickling yourself.

What stays with you, and arguably, what matters the most are the people you meet on the road. Friendships formed while travelling can be deep and honest, even though they are often fleeting. Nothing wrong with that - that’s just how they are. These interactions can be meaningful precisely because they're free of expectations and rules. Encounters with people on the trail can be especially significant since they may be there for the same reasons as you are; self-discovery. The shared experience creates a context that eliminates any awkwardness and immediately there’s room for open communication.

As a certain man who wandered into the wild once said, happiness is only real when shared. All the wonder and musings of our travels come to life when you share them with another human being, through words. The stories you tell about your adventures are metaphysical explorations of reality that can only be indulged in with another person present. Even though you may travel solo, the true purpose of travel is not found in solitary exploration, but in the people you connect with along the way.

The answer does not lie in a lonesome camp by the river.

[foureyedphilosopher]

Any fool can step on an airplane, but how do you travel?

Do you litter? Do you collect? What do you bring back with you? What observations do you make there? About the people, their way of life? Do you try to absorb the local culture? Help local businesses? Is your mind more open now? Or, was it all just a big checklist you did with blinkers on? A big checklist of tourist traps? Do you see how similar we are? Do you notice how (vastly) different everything is? Do you long for home? Do you try the food? Learn the language? A little bit of history, their heritage? Do you seek out art that's hidden there? Do you notice how things have changed over the years? It wasn't always like this. Why (not)? Do you talk to the people there, and not just in passing? Do you make any friends? What stories did you hear? Would you go again? Do you find yourself laughing, or smiling there, even to yourself? Were you moved? Do you slow down and watch everything? Do you keep your eyes and ears open? What kind of memories do you bring back? Does time pass slowly? Or does it fly by? Do you grow as a person? How are you different now? Are you stronger? And wiser? Kinder? Could you detach yourself from your (other) life? From your inhibitions and fears? Do you feel like a new person? A butterfly coming out of the cocoon? Spreading its wings wider still? Do you feel alive? Why (else) do you go?

[foureyedphilosopher]

A list I made as a teen about how to live, circa 2013

1. Adapt and adjust. Situations change all the time, mentally prepare yourself for anything and everything. Then nothing can take you by surprise.

2. Learn fast. Ask questions, but try to make inferences yourself. Think laterally.

3. Reinvent yourself and be flexible. Don't just stick to your way of doing things, pick up everyone's strengths and drop your own weaknesses.

4. Always pee before a journey. Always!

5. Keep your mind organised. It reflects on everything you do.

6. Be cool, calm and collected. Freaking out has never helped anyone.

7. The moment you think you can do something, you gain the ability to do it. That thing you tell yourself about how you cannot do something is just a mental block.

8. Take interest in what people say. If you speak, you are only repeating what you already know, but if you listen you may learn something new.

9. Never give up. Ever. Even when the odds are against you. Your will is one of the few things that are entirely in your control.

10. Think outside of the box. Be creative and be ingenious. Time for the ordinary is gone.

11. Observe. There is a lot that goes by without people's notice. Slow down, and smell the roses, don't start running and step on them.

12. If you think something that you're about to do will disappoint anyone anywhere in the world, you shouldn't do it.

13. Respect people who do things for you: be it a sweeper, a CEO, your 8-year-old cousin or your mother. Everyone appreciates gratitude.

14. Speak up. Say what's on your mind before it's too late. And once you've said it, move on. Don't live in the past.

15. Strike a balance between how much you think and how much you talk. Extremes are never a wise choice.

16. Once you start disliking a person, everything they do seems annoying. Don't let it get to that with anyone.

17. The person you're going to spend the most amount of time with alone is yourself. Be interesting and don't fear solitude.

18. Inspire people. Ignite their minds and souls.

19. Help others like you are the person in need.

20. Never mock someone else's misery. Step into their shoes to know what it's really like.

21. Humour is everywhere, just waiting to be noticed. Celebrate your successes and find humour in your failures (and also learn from them!)

22. With friends, look for quality, not quantity.

23. Be polite with everyone, especially with people you don't know. Don't take anyone for granted.

24. Money can't buy much. Except for a house, food and all your toys. Having said that, if you let money become your master, you're doomed.

25. The friendships you nurture will have a greater effect on your life than where you work or what you earn.

26. You are not your job. You are not your bankroll. You are not the sum of your possessions.

27. Few decisions will ever shape your future life more than who you choose to marry. To marry well, you must choose well.

28. Your passions will grow out of your values. Make early, wise choices to value what (and who) is good, trustworthy, and praiseworthy.

29. Integrity preserved is honour won.

30. Never confuse the size of your salary with the size of your talent.

31. Find a passion. Pick a hobby, own it: coding, music, juggling—whatever. Get your 10K hours of perfect practice in early and change your life.

32. Don’t bother comparing yourself to others — this only leads to heartbreak, anger, and disappointment. Compare with your past self and see how much you've improved.

33. Most disappointments arise from unmet expectations. Set realistic expectations for yourself, based on your strengths, and then strive to exceed them.

34. Don’t just drive others to meet expectations they’ve committed to — lead, inspire, and help them do it.

35. Don’t set expectations for others when they have not or cannot commit to them.

36. Don’t complain. Either change your situation, learn to cope, or change your perspective.

37. Don’t worry about getting a big salary in your youth: first learn to execute tasks with skill, excellence, and grace.

38. Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

39. Don’t look down on others because they don’t have what you didn’t earn: your intellect, your beauty, and your culture of birth are undeserved gifts. Stay humble.

40. Failure is an opportunity: no great man or woman ever achieved significance without great failures. Fail forward.

41. Never withhold an apology when it’s merited. Deliver it quickly, sincerely, and personally—before resentment festers.

42. You don’t need to nurture old guilt when you’re forgiven. But remembering the shame can help you avoid repeats.

43. The main thing you need to do quickly is to stop doing things quickly. Trade hurry for calm, confidence, and precision.

44. Get your work done first so you can play without guilt. Even better, make work play and the fun never ends!

45. If you want to develop your passion, stop worrying about the things you do poorly. Go with your strengths!

46. Avoid fights. Seriously. Avoid them like a plague: nobody wins in a fight, even if you walk away unscathed. But when a fight picks you, leave everything on the mat and give it your all. Hold nothing back.

47. If you're bored, you’re doing it wrong.

48. The skills that will help your career most are the abilities to assimilate, communicate, and persuade. Keep learning.

49. Protect your joy. Nothing is easier to lose by over-thinking, overanalyzing, and second-guessing. On the other hand, always consider the long-term consequences of your choices: stupid decisions made in the moment can rob you of years of joy and happiness.

50. Rivers, ponds, lakes, and streams all have different names, but they all contain water. Just as religions do - they all contain truths.

51. It truly matters what you think about. Think well by reading good books, building good, loving relationships, having good conversations, and imitating great people.

52. Be yourself, all the time. People will value you more for your honest opinion than for your flattering lies.

53. Fake it till you become it. If the situation needs you to be more confident, more intelligent, or more competent than you think you are, fake it. You will become it sooner than you think.

54. Be punctual. People mind waiting. If you've said 7 o'clock, it doesn't mean you'll start thinking about leaving then, it means you'll actually be there then!

55. Stay young. Keep the energy alive in you. That zeal for adventure should die with you, not before that.

56. Don't classify people based on economic, social, cultural or financial grounds. If it wasn't their choice, you shouldn't be labeling them for it.

57. When you learn something new, question it's relation with things you already know. Don't collect dots, connect them.

58. Do whatever you do, go wherever you go, and meet whoever you meet with a smile on your face. That's a face nobody minds and everyone wants around.

59. Understand that everything and everyone displays elements of tenderness as well as elements of savagery. Nothing in the world is either one or the other, it's an amalgamation of all emotions within the spectrum.

60. Don't get greedy. All you should really want is only what you really need.

61. Know the value of money. If you do, you'll understand the value of people.

62. Work is work. Develop a sense of dignity of labour. Nothing is more degrading than shying away from regular everyday work.

63. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper.

64. Eat your liquids, and drink your solids. Good digestion is key to good health.

65. Say yes! Yes to trying new things. Yes to meeting new people. Yes to taking the road less traveled.

66. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy clothes. Don't save it all for a special occasion, today is special.

67. Forgive others and forgive yourself.

68. Always remember, this too shall pass.

69. Don't take yourself so seriously. Have a little fun all along the way.

70. Growing old beats dying young. Stay away from things that could get you killed or voiding your life of meaning; including addiction, speed and the like.

71. If you didn't hear it with your own ears, see it with your own eyes, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth.

72. Stay fit. Your eating habits are what matter more when you're trying to shed some weight. Eat in moderation and exercise!

73. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up. You can sit around moping in your room any time of the year, any time of the day.

74. If you waste your time on envy, you're doing it wrong.

75. Hell and heaven are not places that are waiting for us in the afterlife. You make your present hell or heaven by the choices you make. Your thoughts are in your control, and so are your actions.

76. How you react to a situation is also completely in your hands. If you can't turn a situation in your favour, surrender control and consequently acquire control.

77. Your mind is capable of creating boundless universes inside it. Close your eyes, and explore the universe behind them. Look inward.

78. Hiding how you really feel and trying to make everyone happy doesn't make you nice, it just makes you a liar.

79. Always follow principles, never people.

80. Betray a friend, and you'll often find you have ruined yourself.

81. Don't earn money for yourself. Share your wealth with the people you love. And with people who are in need. That said, be wise about spending and don't forget to save up!

82. Notice the difference between your physical body and your inner body. That is the eye of the eye, the ear of the ear, etc. When you can answer the question "Who am I?", you'll have understood the difference.

83. You need to gift your loved ones something you rarely ever think about; your time.

84. Don't confuse affluence and happiness. Both are very different concepts. You can have one and not the other; they don't always go together.

85. Everyone's reality is just as complex as your own.

86. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

87. Fight cruelty with love.

88. An idle mind is the devil's workshop.

89. Build bridges, not walls.

90. Feeling sorry for yourself is an exercise in futility.

91. Initiate a process of self-creation where the nature of your body, your emotion, your mind, and your energy are consciously created by you. When you do this well, you will find you have become the master of your life.

92. Never put off till tomorrow what you ought to do today, or you'll end up putting your whole life away.

93. About all that a man has that he can call his own are his values. When he sells those out, there's nothing left.

94. There has probably been more stupidity committed in the name of manhood than for any other reason.

95. All diets to lose weight and become fit boil down to this: eat less, move more (but everything in regulation).

96. Your stomach is your second brain; treat it well. Drink food and chew liquids. Your intestines will thank you! Doing just this will do wonders for your overall health.

97. If you notice obituaries never mention the amount of money you made, the number of houses you owned, or the number of cases you drove. The thing people do mention is what you have done for your fellow men.

98. Your purpose in life determines how you frame events. You can maintain your joy in the direst circumstances if you find meaning in your life. Dig deep.

99. The bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists.

100. Living well is the best revenge.

101. When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

102. Ask why more often.

103. If you want peace of mind and happiness then believe but if you are in the pursuit of truth then investigate.

104. Grow plants! It is one of the most rewarding things you can do with your time (given enough of it!)

105. The best way to learn a new concept (even for an exam) is to teach it to someone else. Or even yourself!

106. If your better half cooks for you, eat it all and always ask for seconds!

107. A goal without a plan is a wish.

108. Do or do not, there is no try.

109. Better to have and not need, than to need and not have.

110. Live forward, understand backwards.

111. Initialise flag to friend, not enemy. Just like you should be considered innocent unless proven guilty.

112. You have to put in a fair day's work to get a fair day's pay.

113. "Happiness is real only when shared."

114. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of petrol.

115. Give credit. Take blame.

116. Kaal Kare So Aaj Kar, Aaj Kare So Ab, Pal Mein Pralaya Hoyegi, Bahuri Karoge Kub -- Tomorrow's work do today, today's work now; if the moment is lost, the work will be done how?

117. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.

118. There's nothing wrong with playing the game once in a while! Don't always be a rebel.

119. Let go of the little things.

120. Failure is the greatest teacher.

121. Life is too short to hold grudges.

122. There are better highs than getting drunk, smoking weed, or doing drugs.

123. Be a straight shooter! People appreciate the truth, and if they don't, at least you're clear with them.

124. "It is not the revolutionary, the man obsessed with building a new world, but the traditionalist who dives deep into the romance of life.”

125. "You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him."

126. Step out of your comfort zone. Expose yourself to discomfort, so you can expand your actionable sphere of comfort.

127. Don't try to fix it if it's not broken.

128. A bad workman blames his tools. A good workman focuses on sharpening the tool.

129. The world's greatest lie: at a certain point in our lives we lose control of what's happening to us and it becomes controlled by fate.

130. No guts, no glory. No legend, no story.

131. A man of wealth has many enemies, but a man of knowledge has many friends.

[foureyedphilosopher]

Have you ever noticed the unsynchronised dance of mosquitoes over people's heads on summer evenings? Battling in unison the gentle sea breeze and the constant dithering movement of the unsuspecting human subjects.

I have, once.

You say it doesn’t inspire any beauty in you, and I am puzzled. Muzzled by your honesty to art, your insistence on its necessary complexity, and the world of made-up magical things it is supposed to summon. You don’t think it’s all beautiful, but you also don’t think it’s meaningless.

[foureyedphilosopher]

Damsel Ain't Distressed

She wasn't looking for a knight in shining armour, she was looking for a sword.

[foureyedphilosopher]

A weekend in Paris, and a free bird

A chance meeting on the terrace to subtle wordless promises in the dead of the night, last weekend in Paris turned into... well, something else. And I only realised it as it was staring me right in the face, while I gazed intently into your eyes. I cannot hold back my lips from turning into a smile just thinking about this...

It's hard to say when exactly it happened, but probably somewhere between those playful glances on the bus and the endless conversation of the evening, or was it as early as that sweet old couple just outside Sacre Coeur? Love inspires love and maybe that was the moment? Was it that bench in the garden pres du mur de je t'aime, or that graveyard with all those dead people, people whose lives we'll never know? That cafe or that (cursed) midnight walk along the Seine? Was that the moment? Or maybe just one of them. It definitely feels like more than one instance where Eiffel for you (pun intended, sorry). Bah, maybe it doesn't matter when at all. After all, the entire evening was pure magic. Et quelle chance en effet...

Human connection is rare and absolutely fucking beautiful, and who have we really become if we just threw it away like that? Who are we even, to deny our souls and hearts that? And why do we even fear these inane what-ifs and could-bes so much, when all I can think about right now, is knowing you more, quirks and all! I want to see where you've come from and know where you're going, and how I can meet you there. It's messy, of course, it is, but what isn't? And I have a nagging suspicion that this one night could turn into the stuff of dreams, if we just allow it to - if we stop fearing these what-ifs and could-bes. If we just are, right now.

People don't realise that mostly what's holding them back is themselves. I'm not gonna hold myself back for the sake of myself, ourselves even. I need to see where the road less travelled takes us. Because of course, I'm a traveller, at heart - and you are too. And what joy is life without sometimes going where the wind takes you, and listening to what the universe tells you to do, and who to be. The pure emotion that fuels my days now is something so strange because I barely know you, and yet it felt like in those early hours before sunrise I knew you better than I've known many in my time. It's so strange because it's not the idea of you, but really you - because in my mind I see you, in all your gorgeous colour and amazing grace. It's not some faint apparition of "you" that fades when I look away, it's you, with your kind eyes, your warm heart, and your beautiful, gentle soul. How are you in my head already?

Life has taken an incredible turn, and now everything seems to be hanging in the balance. When I look into the distance, in this half-frenzy - I am both awed and overwhelmed by what I see. And I've never felt more alive!

Yes, sure, I should slow down and I will, but right now - I feel alive, it's almost absurd; I can't help but wonder, perhaps we could fly together, free bird?

[foureyedphilosopher]

The Master Puppeteer

He is not the simple man he shows to be. Not his manner, and nor his talk. But from his true self, it took him a while to flee. In the end, he reckoned he should walk,

Into the mass of identities before him and pick, a handful that thrilled his melancholy humor. And it never made him sick, to let these consume him like an abominable tumor.

Flourish inside of him while his own lay dead silent. There was a new face he would show, to every creature he ever lent his eyes to, and a new person would grow.

A master puppeteer he, in due course, became. To manipulate all and sundry, while he would contain his own burgeoning sentiments forever; not feeling pain. He was a little bit of everyone, sound and insane.

Never to lay his cards flat on the table, until his grasp on your character became complete. His mystery would blow minds; guised with his amazing fables. It was all but a grand show; a way to score neat.

‘Cause he was never timid, naïve and silly or whatever people took him to be. It was his grand strategy to never reveal his true identity.

Mind games rendered his own character inconceivable, as he sat behind a cloak of emotional opacity. They would never suspect craft – declare it implausible, targeting your frailties, he’d navigate right through so easily.

Right through your many walls of security, and make you swear on the lord above. He was the man he showed to be, his distastes, dreads, disposition, and all that fuss.

Indeed, he never meant for you to know, that he’d be in your head all this while and you wouldn’t cry, that there were blinkers to your eyes and what’s more, you would help him as he would into you pry.

Everyone adored him but he didn’t care, only for a few, would he give up this disguise. He became a little bit of everybody, and he dared, to live by mere lies.

But his reasoning would truly befuddle, for what it seems like, it’s most definitely not, a sharp mind would be in a state of muddle, deceit to top off lies for you is all he has got.

This man could be standing among us, in this room, or as you walk down the street, you wouldn’t see, if you comprehend these verses, salvage yourself soon, this man, for all you know, was a description of me.

[foureyedphilosopher]

Paying it forward

One of my elder brothers, who's a couple of decades wiser than myself, once told me that I should never worry about all the goodies he had bought me. Mind you, he'd bought me so much stuff over the course of the two years we were in the same city that I think I looked visibly in debt of him. I couldn't even come up with what I could get him, he seemed like he had it all! This was a source of great discomfort for me and it definitely showed on my face. So he sat me down and told me it's not worth trying to pay everyone back and be square with the world. Especially when it's someone much older than you. It's like an unspoken law of the universe that you "pay it forward" to the next person, and expect nothing in return. Settling up, in a way, breaks the cycle. And disrespects the tradition.

By extension, you could say the same goes for strangers too. You pay it forward by just giving with an open heart and hope that those people will do the same.

[foureyedphilosopher]

Life and the law of diminishing returns

Joyous consumerism is a world of diminishing returns. Once you have everything you need to survive, it's just a matter of buying more or bigger versions of things you already have or don't truly require. Second cars, bigger TVs, and louder speakers.

Quality of life doesn't really improve after a certain point in this rather pointless journey from happy to happier. Moreover, the cost of living goes up, since, of course, bigger houses require more maintenance! And you're stuck in a spiral of working harder and harder to buy labor-saving devices that you wouldn't have needed if you hadn't been working so hard in the first place.

Is life really worth all that stress and expensive distraction when most of its joys lie in the little things?

[foureyedphilosopher]

If - Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;

If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

[foureyedphilosopher]

We're all going to hell

Human beings are at the zenith of moral debauchery, so don’t fool yourself with those compliments people are handing out to you! Even though it happens unknowingly, we're all guilty of being unkind to countless people in the world. We're just rotten old monkeys at the end of the day, and pulling up a chair for a friend or asking someone how their day was doesn't suddenly exempt us from all the wrong we cause in the world. It would be pulling the wool over your own eyes to genuinely believe that simple acts of kindness somehow elevate you to a higher moral pedestal.

Compliments should come in one ear and out the other. Of course, you should probably feign a smile to hide your embarrassment, and vigorously shake your head as if in disbelief, just to be polite!

See you all in hell!

[foureyedphilosopher]

The chief beauty about time is that you can never waste it in advance. The next year, day or even hour is lying for you as perfect and unspoiled as if you never wasted or misapplied a single moment in your life. You can turn over a new leaf every hour if you choose.

[foureyedphilosopher]

Meditations - XIII

You are free to live here as you expect to live there.

[foureyedphilosopher]

Meditations - XII

If you seek tranquility, do less, what is essential. And do less, better.

[foureyedphilosopher]

Meditations - XI

Does anything genuinely beautiful need supplementing? No more than justice does - or truth, or kindness, or humility. Are any of those improved by being praised? Or damaged by contempt? Is an emerald suddenly flawed if no one admires it? Or gold, or ivory, or purple? Lyres? Knives? Flowers? Bushes?

[foureyedphilosopher]

Meditations - X

Never regard something as doing you good if it makes you betray a trust, or lose your sense of shame, or makes you show hatred, suspicion, ill will, or hypocrisy, or a desire for things best done behind closed doors.